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an ok day

Apr 01, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

Bipolar

,

bi polar

,

Depression

,

depressed

,

Anxiety

,

GAD

,

OCD

,

manic depression

,

manic depressive

,

low self esteem



was warm today, the weather broke, so this makes me feel better seeing the sun & not shittiey snow and wearing coats and gloves and all that BS.

my new rook piercing is prolly infected, hurts like a mofo...red, swollen, hurts so bad! been doing salt water soaks and icing it, motrin, and hoping that it might heal up with what im doing...loving my 3rd session of ink work, he was so tired so couldnt work for more than an hour, but i understand that so he didnt charge me much and promised me next time would be 4 hrs for the regular price. i cant wait to get all of my madusa done...sweet! plus we have some great ideas for the underside and covering an old one im embarrassed of. so that makes me kinds thrilled.

made the easter baskets tonight and filled all the eggs, i cant wait for the kids to see what they got...plus having them find all 24 eggs each hidden outside. i like seeing them have so much fun doing that each year, and this sun its supposed to be in the 60s...last year it was in the 30s with snow. fcuk that shite!! i just love to see my kids genuinely happy, and not me always screaming at them with my mood issues. i wish i could keep control instead of blowing up like i do at them, but all i want them is to do something simple like acknowledge what im saying or pick up a toy and i cant even get that much from them. i get all the BS..tounge stuck out at me, lauging at me, running away from me, slamming theit doors in my face, and their only 3 & 5!! WTF!!! im such a shittiey mother...why cant i be the mom they deserve???im with them 24/7, i get a small break each week for dr visits, woohoo, who wnts to spend their free time at drs all week every week, but i cant help it...if its not pain management,its massage therapy or a psyche dr or therapy...wtf! it never ends! im 34 and feeling like im 94!!!! its so depressing!!!

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