accountability of your kids

I must say I agree, kids are a product of their enviroment. While some kids do get themselves into a mess even when they come from a good home, the majority are from families that just dont take the time with them. any parent that says that cannot control their children are making excuses for their own bad parenting.

i have seen families with 5 kids and great parents.  4 are all straight A students and all do the right things and 1 goes down the wrong path.  unfortunately we can not control children the way some people think we can.  you can educate your children, know them as much as possible and keep the lines of communication open but sometimes kids fall into the wrong crowd and the wrong things so fast.  not saying that parents can not keep their eyes on their kids but sometimes it is very hard.  

my mother was the best parent ever, she knew me inside and out but i still did things.  i still tried drugs, had sex in my teen years (not too early) and did silly things, but i did not get caught up in it.  we all know that even with the best parents, we still all experiment and sometimes experiments turn into habits or bad things.

I won't be rude, perty. I hear you about children being a product of their enviornment.  You have interesting thoughts and for the most part I agree w/them.  I can't speak for every parent but the parents that I worked w/seemed to be interested and caring about their children.  Not naive at all.  They did the things that you talked about - even went beyond the call of duty; yet, their children strayed from what was taught.  My point is that a parent can't control everything in the child's enviornment as the child moves towards adulthood.  Even good parents.

agree with leighanne143 and 40smama... but i noticed you said "usually" meaning that not all situations have everything to do with the parents. like i said before, mine were the best parents you could ask for. always said no when it was needed, always spent time talking to me, doing things with me and for me... so no, not all choices of a young person can be blamed on the parents.

I agree to an extent as well. Sometimes no matter how well you raise your children or guard them, they have their own minds and will do whatever it takes to do what they want.

Girl don't even get me started. I just left a crazy post on the raising teens frum similar to this topic... As I have always said and believe.... Kids are still kids today like they were 50-100 years ago but the difference is how they are raised today... Kids arent some new mutated disease now, they are the way they are because of parents. So next time you see a kid acting out and being irresponsible and disrespectful, remember it is because of how they were raised.... Don't let the schools, tv, sports, extra cirricular activities raise you kids moms, raise them yourselves or don't have them!!! What ever happened to FAMILY TIME??? We have it in our house, but people think we are crazy.... Maybe I am but my kids will be a positive addition to society and destroying themselves and everyone around them...
Sorry this is a passionate topic for me can you tell? If you love your children, discipline them, but make sure they know you love them when you discipline them. It is possible I promise.

oh and yes kids have a mind of their own and do their own things, but what is a 13-17 yr old doing in a possible situation, party, out late, whatever, to get pregnant anyway? My daughter is 14 and I don't let her go to the mall with her friends unless I'm in the mall too... Thats where kids get in trouble. Sure it would be convienent to lether go and have a break, but that is too young for late night parties and such. Call me strict like her friends think, but they are the ones getting pregnant and std's, not my daughter... My daughter is still modest and innocent. Seeing her friends make the bad decisions she is glad and by the time I let her out, when she is old enough, she will make the right decisions. At 13-15 they are not grown and are not old enough to make intellegent decisions about the rest of their lives yet... They are only kids..... parents need to sacrifice a little more now a days cause bad things are happening at such a younger age now!

no parent is perfect...I dont think because my parents let me go to a movie is the cause of me getting pregnant. so that possible situation wasnt their fault. it was mine. parents are not to blame in all situations.

I agree with the dicipline 100%, I was always allowed to run a mok when I was growing up and I hated it. It made me feel as if my father didnt care about me, which he did care but he was never home because he was raising 9 kids on his own.

I have a simular situation in my family as we speak. I have a 14 yr old neice who is pregnant, and we just found out that her sister at 16 is pregnant now aswell, and it is a bummer because the 16 yr old was an awesome straight A student and a great addition to society, but since she moved in with her real mother and pregnant sister, she of course followed in their foot steps. I agree that family time is needed more often in homes, my home has a family time, and we are a very close knit family. I dicipline my children when needed, granted the hell hasnt even begun yet because they are only 2 and 4 years old, but I want to set a good example for when they are 13 and 14.

I will do my best to meet all their friends, and their friends' parents aswell when they are older too, I will also do my best to make sure I know where they are 100% of the time, but I also believe in allowing children to make their own mistakes instead of being guarded 24/7. It is our job as parents to ready our children for the real world, because the fact is we are not immortal creatures, and eventually we will leave our children to fend for their own. And if you guard your child 24/7 for his/her whole life, what is going to happen when mommy or daddy isnt their to protect them from something when we are dead, or not with them every moment of the day?

I also believe that as parents, we should show that we have some type of trust in our kids, if they dont feel like we trust them how are they supposed to learn to trust people themselves?

All im saying is that there is a difference between being there for your children and being over protective. I also believe that children should to some extent have a mind of their own and make some of their own decisions for themselves. How else are they supposed to learn?

BTS- awesome wording! couldnt agree more!

I have to agree with agomez333. How in the heck are 13-17 year olds old enough to make decisions. Now that I have a child I can totally see why my mother did not let me go to sleep overs, go to the mall or movies alone with friends, or go to parties when I was 16 and 17. I thought my mom was a b*tch and she never let me do anything. Now I THANK her. She loved me enough to want to protect me any way she could even if that meant me hating her for it. Even if you teach your child morals and what is not acceptable does not mean they wont make mistakes but people are INSANE these days and you cant trust anyone not to hurt your children. Teenagers are STUPID they dont think about tomorrow they only think about NOW. If you let your child get into a situation that they should not be in in the first place like, going to a party where no one is supervising and they end up on the bed of some boy who only wants to have sex, being dropped off at the movies or mall alone with hundreds of child molesters or rapists, just to name a few. Then it is YOUR fault if something happenes not your childs. Parents need to be active in their kids lives. Kids can get plenty of space and breathing room when they become ADULTS. I am going to smother DD with love and protection until she is 100. She can hate me all she wants but I will know that I loved her beyond her hate and one day when she grows up and sees that I did every thing I could to keep her SAFE she will thank me. I heard a about a study that was done on teenagers 11-15 on abuse in relationships, meaning boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. Now WHY are parents letting their children have ANY  kind of relationship with the opposite sex at this age? Are they CRAZY? I had crushes on boys in school but did not have any boyfriends. My parents would not allow boys call my house and I could not call them. These days kids have cell phones, computers in their rooms ( this is a big NO NO), it is so easy for kids to make mistakes because no one is watching out for them. If DD ever goes to a movie when she is a teenager you better believe that I will be sitting right beside her and her friends. I will NEVER drop her off by herself anywhere. I will let her make her mistakes like, falling off her bike, making a few bad grades, her telling me she hates me but that is it lol............OK well I will stop the rant:) I am kinda having a panic attack because DD will be 1 in 3 weeks and every time I think about her growing up I just want to cry and scream:) I never want her to be hurt or sad and I know I cant protect her from this but I sure will try:)

I posted a little rant myself on the thread I believe we're all talking about.  It's not necessarily about sex but I wanted to point out that not only do parents need to raise their children right, but when teenagers/children do mess up, they need to follow through w/appropriate consequences/restitution.  Sometimes that means consequences for the parents as well - the whole family for that matter.  That doesn't necessarily have to do w/teen pregnancy in my opinion.  The consequences are there whether or not you want them.  

My dd thought I was crazy not to let her have a cell phone when every single one of her friends (and all of my friends' children) have them.  As a reward for good grades/behavior/etc, she finally got one this May.  She is monitored almost to a fault.  Cell phones, computers, even other items can be a good thing but must be appropriately 'monitored' for lack of a better word.

I also thought I better clarify one thing:  my children made mistakes despite my protection.  Luckily and w/God's grace, they (well three of them) have come out the other side and are successful adults/college students.  I'm proud of all of them - they've accomplished many goals that they've set out for themselves plus they've turned out to be good people.  

well if you all chose to sit by your children in the movies then that is your decision and more power to you, but because my mother didnt doesnt make you any better of a mother. if she had even thought of any harm coming to me she would have been right there, they always have been right there. THINGS HAPPEN. you cannot control the universe. and if your child happens to make a mistake, one of those awful minutes you are gone, hopefully you can still be there like my parents were. mistakes are something everyone makes. but mine turned out to be a blessing. :)

luv2bmommy - You are right it does not make me a better mother. I KNOW things will happen but I will try my hardest to prevent them. I will try to be so active in my DD life that she hopefully wont have the chance to make any huge mistakes. I am really worried about the world we live in and the sick people in it that want to hurt children. I wont let her go to a movie alone not because I wont trust her but because I dont trust other people. I have seen parents drop off their kids alone at the movies and they let them dress like sluts. Now anyone could kidnap them and take them off and rape and kill them. Then the parents would be crying "POOR ME". You would see them on tv begging for their child to be returned unharmed, but they would have no one to blame but them selfs. I hear all kinds of stuff on the news about horrible things happening to children and my only thought is WHERE are the kids parents.  I will always be their for my DD and if something happens it wont be because I was NOT there to prevent it.  

becca_3456- to a certain point, I agree. but i cannot help but to feel slightly offended even though i know you are probably not trying to call my mother a bad parent. its just that i happen to be one of the people that this happened to so i feel like the subject is about "people like my family and I" . which we are a really close, moral, good family. but like i said things happen. I never dressed like a ****, wasnt allowed to wear revealing clothing, and never wanted to. Wasnt even allowed to cut my hair more than 2 inches at a time! But my boyfriend at the time and I decided to have sex, and since I was scared to death of talking to my mother about sex, i was very uneducated about it. She did try to talk to me several times. I was extremely sheltered, in fact before she knew i was pregnant she would still tuck me in at night and talk to me about school, friends, my day, and almost every night told me that if there was anything i needed or wanted to ask her or talk about to ask her and she would listen. I have never placed one inch of blame on my parents for what happened. They do not deserve the blame. They did their part, I was dishonest and didnt do mine. But people grow up, because I made a mistake doesnt make me a bad person. People grow into who they are supposed to be. and for me that happened at 16. I am not what most would consider the average teen mom. But what I do agree on is the freaks and lunatics in this world that DONT CARE how much you love your child. In my apartments, I see children all the time wandering around outside by themselves. I hear the kids down the road cursing at each other with language that sometimes Ive never even heard. (they are getting more inventive with their insults!) I have recently called CPS (who by the way did NOTHING) on our neighbors who had left her 5 yr old at home alone, with the flu. he showed up at my door, crying, blowing snot everywhere, coughing, and running high fever. Not only that he is always playing outside by himself if we arent out there, while his mother sleeps like always, or works. His dad is underway. He has had to go to the apartment office several times because he got locked out of the apartments. :( So yes, I called CPS. they did nothing. The woman KNEW his mother was not there because we spent all day trying to find her, her car wasnt here  and there was noone inside the apt. The mother came home and said, "i told you to stay inside, i was taking out trash" . yeah- for 7 hours.

I agree with a little bit of what everyone says on here. And let me tell you, I used to look down my nose at kids that went down the wrong path and used to be judgemental wondering what the parent did wrong. I no longer do that. God really humbled me with a very strong-willed child. We did everything the same with both of our children. My son obeyed for the most part. My daughter would sneak out of her room at night.Only thing is, I didn't know this for months because she was so good at it. She'd wait till we were all asleep, sneak out, then get back in before anyone was up. She rebelled over and over. She'd storm out of the house. We called the cops once because we couldn't find her. She tried things like smoking, etc. We didn't know at first. Ok, yeah we were a bit naive. Every time she rebelled or we found out something, we pulled in the reigns more. We were very protective. I thought we were doing everything right. I didn't let her go to the mall until she was 15 and she had to be with her friends. I made sure I knew the kids and their parents. Btw, the nicest looking kids can be the ones who get your kids in trouble. I thought I was doing everything right. We had dinner every night together. We went to church every week. I went to all their games and school plays.I didn't work. I stayed home with my kids. I wouldn't let them have a cell phone until they turned 16. I said no dating until they were 16. My son obeyed. My daughter snuck around until we caught her. We tried everything! She was just very strong-willed and stubborn.

Let me tell you something, I would never presume to judge a parent again if their child goes astray. I see it time and time again, one child who is never a problem and the other who breaks their parents hearts, and they both come from a good home. My kids have a good home with loving parents. We had rules and were even over protective. Like someone said, you do have to start to let them go, little by little and see how they do. Otherwise, how will they be able to go out in the world and handle everything if we don't start giving them little bits of freedom as a teen? I see this over and over, parents who mean well but overprotect their kids to the point that when they go off to college THAT'S when they rebel. I did that myself. I was too afraid of my mother to rebel when I was growing up. Talk about over protective! I couldn't even take showers without her permission! I couldn't even pick out my own clothes! By the time I was 19-20, I was drinking, smoking and yes, having sex. I was totally rebelling against my mother and everything she stood for. I even rebelled against the religion I was raised in. I didn't come back to that until I was almost 30. My mother held on too tight to all of us kids and we ALL rebelled and went our own ways.

There's a fine line to parenting teens. And boy, it isn't easy! Yes, we have to protect and guide them but we also have to let them start making choices on their own. And yes, they will make bad choices but they will hopefully learn from them. If we wait till they go off to college to give them any freedom we are asking for trouble. They will rebel, trust me.
It's a scary world we live in now. Back in my mom's day society sided with the parents more on morality, etc. Now days we have to fight against what the media, tv, radio, etc. is pushing at our kids, that everyone's having sex and they should do what they want! That parents are stupid and don't listen to them.
We are all humans. We all make mistakes but we all love our kids and do the best we can for them.

btw, my daughter? The one who rebelled for over 2 years, gave me gray hairs, had me on my knees praying every day for this child?...Has recently decided to return to the Lord. SHE made this decision. It wasn't pushed on her. She grew tired of the way she was acting. She now has been talking to her friends and other teens about the choices they're making. She's growing into a wonderful young lady with more wisdom than most 16 year old's have. I guess she got it out of her system. She's the kind of kid who had to learn things the hard way. I wish it hadn't been so. I wish she would have listened more to me. It would have spared all of us a lot of pain. But like I said, she's gained so much wisdom from her experiences. She said she is the person she is today because of the things she's gone through. You can say I'm a bad parent all you want. I know what I am. I know I love my kids and did everything in my power to raise them up right. Yes, I had one who rebelled but she's coming back out of that now and is turning into the beautiful young woman I always knew she had in her. As I speak she's on her way to a church youth camp. She's begun to read her Bible and pray. All of this on her own without any pushing on our part. Good thing the Lord accepts us warts and all. I'm glad He doesn't judge us. He just accepts us back. That's called grace. And sometimes we have to give our kids a little grace too.
I know everyone here loves their kids. We all are doing the best we can.

I'm an aunt of a 14 and a 16 yr old, their parents are divorced.  I'm not so sure what goes on within their household, I don't have any "dog" in that fight.  However, looking in from the outside, as an aunt I've given them both the "sex" talk from the aunt's point of view.  Stated as such "keep your legs together, your pants up and zipped, and your hands to yourself".  I've also said this to their respective boy/girl friends.  And I will call them on any inappropriate behaviour I see when I'm with them.  They both know that I care about them because I tell them.  And they both know I'm blunt enough to ask some questions that probably don't get asked...and I try not to embarass them.  Yes, I've snooped on their computers to see what's going on.  Some things I've not liked, but haven't said anything other than my standard discussions to reinforce that someone is watching.  I'm watchful, hopeful, and hopefully they'll stay out of trouble.  But, in the end...with all that is in the world today, inevitably it is their decision which road to follow.  I just hope that SOMEONE other than me is pointing the way they should go and they do.  

This is a good topice, however there are way to many variables to really agree on this as a whole.

Here is my take...my bottom line.

When kids hit the teenage years and go down the wrong path, they need to be held accountable.  But I also believe the parents need to be held accountable.

My parents raised 3 children.  All three were parented the same way and two went down very dangerous roads while 1 did not.
My parents had to pay the price for the 2 that went wrong but so did those 2 children....everyone involved paid very hard penalties.

Parents for the most part - do not parent anymore.  I'm sorry but they don't.  Family dinner, breakfast every morning.  How about dedicated family trips or weekend activities?  And with the internet now a days....if your child gets into trouble online....shame on you as a parent.  Stand up and pay attention.

Don't get sucked into the next biggest reality show...go talk to your kids.  

Don't be shy, talk about everything.  My mom talked about everything with me....she learned from her mistakes with my sister.  I will do the same with my DD.  She will hear the cold hard truth of what I've done and learned in my life.  And she will be held accountable for her time when she hits that age.

With that said, and I think this is crucial.  You can't get a blueprint and parent the kids the same.  My children are polar opposites of each other...and of course it can change.....but different parenting tactics work for each different child.  It doesn't mean you won't be fair or consistent.  But really pay attention to their personalities, get to really know your children.  Because the same rule may not apply to all.  You need to treat them and parent them as the individuals that they are.

They're lucky to have you for an aunt! We have a moniter on our computer too. We moniter everything our kids do on the computer. I highly recommend it to everyone who has kids. There's just so much garbage the kids can get into and see without even trying. We let our daughter have a Myspace but I know her password and get on there and check it often. We let her have one a couple of years ago but made her shut it down because I didn't like the way the kids were talking. Kids are so saavy now days! Way too knowledgeable about stuff they don't even understand. It can be a real eye opener.
I know some parents don't let their kids have a Myspace but I figure I'd rather let her have one that I can moniter rather than the kid going behind your back and setting up an account at a friends house or something. Then I'd have no control over it at all. That's why I said we have to give them some freedom but still moniter them.

That is so true! My kids are complete opposites. The things we did with our son did not seem to work with our daughter. We had to learn different parenting techniques. One thing I especially learned with my daughter was if she was mad or upset to not try and use that time to talk to her. I'd let her go to her room and cool off before trying to talk to her. Otherwise, you're just getting into a battle of wills. I also try to parent by example. I make myself stay calm and not scream and shout or hit or whatever because I want my kids to learn self-control too.
And yes, we've gone on some family vacations too but not a lot because we don't have a lot of money. That's why I didn't mention that. The most important thing is always being there for them. I always tried to talk to my kids. I would go in and sit on their beds and talk to them, ask them about their days, etc. I always made sure I went to all their games and school functions because I think that's important to show them I care and am proud of their accomplishments. Oh, I'm sure I still made a lot of mistakes as a parent. Who hasn't? But I try to learn from each experience and do the best I can. I think that's all we can ask for.

To: Luv2bmommy

Let me start by saying that I too was pregnant at 15 and had my daughter at 16. So I definately don't judge you or look down on you at all... I however did not have a good home or caring parents. My parents didn't care and I would run rampant doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted with no restrictions. So in that department I don't specifically blame my parents for me getting pregnant, but if the situation was different I am sure the outcome would be different.
Let me also say that it sounded like your mom was awesome and yes there will be those kids that make their bed and sleep in it, however the numbers wouldn't be so outrageously high like they are today.

It's not only about teen pregnancies. Its the disrespect for adults and authorities now a days. It's violence and a desire for being the bad boy/girls. The computer, tv, playstation, cell phone all in the bedrooms is scary. Do you really know who you kids are talking to on the internet? My daughters computer time is limited until I know she understands the risks well enough. That doesn't mean she desn't use the computer, but she has 30 to 45 min incriments once or twice a day. That will give her enough time to check her email, and talk to a friend or 2 on aim. But it doesn't give her time to become bored and search for something interesting and get into trouble online.

Now to a point I am very protective, but with kids disappearing every day, girls getting attacked all the time that are the same age as my daughter, she understands because of our communication that her not being dropped off at the mall or movies isn't because I don't trust her but for her safety. We live in Orlando where it is tourist central along with wierdo central... My daughter sometimes gets mad because she feels like we don't let her do things her other friends are doing but again when something happens to them she is thankful we kept her away. She realizes kids her age make horrible decisions.

It is hard to say how you will act when your kids are young cause like one mom said the same things will not work for every kid. What works for my daughter doesn't work for my son and we have to find different ways to deal with each kid. And yes kids will be kids and do what they want as they get older but communication is key. You have to explain to the kids why you are being protective. You have to show them what happens to kids who run wild. Make it a learning experience for them so they are learning about life at the same time you are protecting them.

All you can do with teens is guide them and show them the right way. Protect them from themselves and others at those most influential years, and pray they will make the right decisions as they get older... Also as April2 mentioned, if you give them a solid foundation, even if they go astray chances are very good that they will find their way back verses not having anything to find their way back to...

I don't think they have a "monitor", I just went snooping around.  I'm savvy enough to know where to look.  It helps that I program this stuff!  :)

I said something to their mom once about some inappropriate things being passed on as jokes (some from their father, if you can believe that) and she said that she checks up on them and didn't see anything wrong.  Me, I had a talk with both of them and said this might be funny to some, but to others you are sending a very wrong message.  It slowed down a lot, but not enough, in my opinion.  And that is why I no longer say anything about what I've seen or read.  I just try to give them the standard lecture and make sure that they understand someone is watching, even it if isn't mom or dad.  

I worry about them, knowing what's out there.  I also see what they are doing, how their parents are or are not handling things and I hope I don't make those same mistakes.  I'm sure I'll make more than my share, though, with my own kids.

I've also told them before they commit to sex, come babysit my 2 kids....that'll be a birth control worth much money!  And hopefully since they have 2 cousins that are baby age and they hang around my family a lot, that they can see there is more to babies and just having a baby.  I will, however, give kudos to my nephew's girlfriend.... she's wonderful with kids and will someday make a good mother.  I just hope that someday is a LONG way away.  :)  My niece, I fear, will make me a great-aunt long before I want her too.  Can't stop it, but I can talk to her about it...and I do A LOT!

I agree with the myspace thing. I let my daughter have one when she hit 14 but I have the password and monitor it closely. I didn't want her to go get one behind my back so I helped her set it up and help her put pics and slideshows on there...

Family activities are s important. There are so many things you can do on a budget too... You have to find time for family.. A very important thing is yes make sure you are raising your kids not society raising them for you...

luv2bmommy- I absolutely am not saying your parents were bad parents. My sister grew up in the same house I did and she ran away at 16 with a 35 year old man for 3 days, after her got what he wanted he made her come home, at 17 she was married and after being married for 2 months she got pregnant, by 18 she was divorced and living back at home. After that she was with guy after guy, she has probably slept with 70 or more men. I KNOW kids have their own will and will do things we dont want them to do. I however dont want to be the oblivious parent that does not pay attention to things. DD wont have a cell phone until she can pay the bill, she wont have a computer in her room, and she wont have a myspace page or an email account. If she wants to talk to friends she can do it the old fashion way and call them on the telephone. I am probably going to be an overprotective parent and I am ok with that. Kids do need room to grow and chances to make mistakes but they also need boundaries and consequences. I am going to teach her right from wrong and I know that she will mess up sometimes but I am not going to be the type of parent that does not know what is going on in her life.

I agree that when children make mistakes that they should by all means be held accountable. I also feel the parents to an extent should be held accountable. As parents and as gaurdians all we really can do is SHOW our kids which path is the correct path to take in life, ultimatley it is the childs choice to take that path. If we sit here and shove them down the path that we think is right, against the childs will, how likely do you think that child will follow that path for their lifetime? These days we can't beat our kids anymore, if it isn't the *time out method* then we are abusing our children. Yes it's all a bunch of bull, because I believe that some children need to have a foot stuck up their rear from time to time, but society is making it hard for us parents to really put a hand on our kids.

It is a damned if we do, damned if we dont world these days. If we dont whoop our kids we are considered to leniant and bad parents, if we do whoop are kids we are considered abusers and bad parents. The same goes with other methods of raising our kids. We are called horrid parents for allowing ourselves to have some kind of trust in our children and allowing them to go to the movies alone or with their friends. But if we stand by our childs side and keep our teens on a leash at all times we are considered over protective. This topic is a very good topic, but it is a topic that stands alone period. Everyone parents their children differently, I was allowed to run a mok and do stupid **** as a teenager....but I can sit here and say that I have learned from my parents mistakes. I will allow my children to be individuals, but I will also make sure that they know that they will pay the consequenses for when the screw up. Everyone messes up even as adults, and it's okay to mess up because thats life. But how can we sit here and show our children that mistakes happen, we pay for them, we learn from them and we don't make the same mistakes over and over.....if they aren't allowed to make mistakes at all as teens or preadults?

As far as kids dressing like sluts, and children getting kidnapped at the movies or in the suburbs......I have to disagree 100% DO you people even know how easy it is for your daughters to call up a friend before school, and ask her friend to bring that mini skirt for her, or pack her own backpack full of skanky clothes? It's not all that hard to do, and if you monitor their cell phones....there is something called a pay phone, and can call whoever whenever they dont want you looking over their shoulder. Is it our faults as parents that there are crazy sick people out in the world? NO! We can only protect our children so much, some dude can walk onto that school playground and snatch up ypur baby when the teacher isnt watching. What about the kids who shoot up schools? What happens if you child is there? We cannot protect and guard our children 24/7.

If we did over protect our kids like this, do you honestly think you can sit there and say your child would have the common sense and street sense to get out of a predicament like that? I dont think so, because they are so used to mommy and daddy saving them all the time. It's not wrong to love or care for your kids, and us parents are supposed to want to protect our children as much as possible, it is in our nature. But if you keep a dog cooped up in his crate long enough because your scared of a MISTAKE on the floor.....he is going to go insane.