All Journal Entries Journals

Day 32; Tramadol Withdrawal; Cold Turkey

Jul 21, 2008 - 35 comments
Tags:

withdrawals

,

tramadol withdrawal

,

Headache

,

cold turkey

,

Pain

,

worry

,

5 years?



Day 32!

Five simple rules of  happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Breathe in Faith...

Breathe out Fear...

Happy Day 32!

Slept 9 solid hours, woke up feeling HAPPY!

Three steps backwards yesterday, seven steps forward this morning!

YES!

To me it it beyond impressive! Because three months ago (while I was on a maximum amount of Tramadol with soma and then on top of it; a tumbler of wine at night just to try to get some pain relief) I asked my husband, "Do you think there is something now seriously wrong with my back? I mean have I messed it all up somehow by working all these years?"

He said, "Yes, I think you need the surgery." (He's kinda a man of few words)

I stared in disbelief. I replied, "They have an actual medical code called 'Failed Back Surgery.' They use the code alot. I also know that one surgery leads to two and three and more. I also know that hey can accidentally kill you during any surgery."

Little piece of core steel contained inside my GUT, "Said slowly and clearly, you don't need surgery. You need to get of these pills."

I didn't listen for awhile.  The gut voice is hard for me to hear, and understand and act on, but I always know it spoke!  At least my core knew the Tramadol was the problem. I think I was so out of it that it took an extreme "full body organ shake down" to get my attention. Which was of course, my friend's fiance throwing herself out of a window in France. I. myself was at the point of suicidal ideation. So, it shook me all night along! That event and the conversations around it picked me up and shook me like a rabid dog shakes a rag doll.

That was when I started to allow myself to "Run out of the pills."

When I think about how I could have had the surgery because of Tramadol, it makes me feel crazy with anger at this system of medicine! What in the world are we doing to people?

It's like that kind man who came on and wrote about his wife's experience. You don't go around screaming, "Lupus! Lupus!" Before you know anything! It's unethical to do so!

So I read somewhere that day 30, 60 and 90 are tough for people. In my case Day 31.

Here it is Day 32 and I can say that 95% of what was present last night has now vanished. No idea where it went but I guess someone finished their brain surgery that they did all day yesterday on me. I had a weird headache that split my face into my right eyeball across the top of my head, and my sinuses were super dry. Painfully dry along with my eyeballs! I told my husband because he asked me .. "Why are you holding your head like that?"

Yeah, like putting actual pressure on my head and pressing helped. I told him what was happening. It was it was kind of following the pattern of a neurological migraine, but not matching it. Fake Drug Voices were saying, "You're having a STROKE!" Idiot drug voices.

Husband said, "That sounds like some kind of drug thing to me."

Almost everyone I know knows more about drugs than I do. I did no recreational drugs (Pot makes me paranoid, and only once did it get me happy and high and that was the first time I tried it at 25!) And I didn't even take drugs for anything other than an occasional migraine. Which disappeared when my last bad job disappeared. Miracle of miracles!

Yeppers! So, the pain, it's no longer there. Neither are the constant chorus of drug thoughts which yesterday were making me feel C-c-crazy! I actually feel energy coursing thru my whole body. Yesterday again, walking thru MUD. Sunglasses on.

I just am not naturally the type of person who wakes up tired. On Tramadol, I woke up tired every single day. I needed Tramadol to "wake up." Now I know I was physically dependant on it. I wish I had the memory to recall when I started to take it. Now I am think it might have been 5 years,  maybe 5 and a half? The accident was in 2000. I can't really recall.

Anyhow I woke up yesterday and thought ... OK I need a list of UPPERS!..

Cause the effect was yes, depression (not normal, never had it), Anxiety (that I have, but it is not depression at all, it's straight up anxiety and there's a huge difference between the two. They are first cousins maybe!? But they are NOT, for me, intra related.) Today I have strange sinus symptoms. Drainage on one side, dry eyes. I don't get sinus problems and I don't get dry eyes! Since I am blaming it all on withdrawal; I'm going to blame this symptom too. Headache is goners.

Yesterday; I felt like I was physically back at say; Day 5. No joke.

And today I feel like I am at Day 32. Three steps back yesterday; seven steps forward today. CRAZZZZEEEE!

But hey, I'll take it! 32 days! Woo Hoo!

Eyeball-to-Eyeball!

Love and healing,
Emily




Comments
Post a Comment
Avatar_n_tn
by glo669, Jul 21, 2008
emily,
thanks for your testimonal I have been taking 50 mgs of tramadol 2 x a day for 2 yrs, and some times 3 i tried very hard not to exceed that amount, My pain was so bad I have not been able to lay down and sleep in my bed, I sleep mostly sitting up in a recliner, I had an epidural done on Friday , no pain no pills, boy do i feel bad, I could not sleep on saturday, i had creepy crawley feeling in my legs, i have flu like symptoms, i just want to die, i don't know what to do, i never thought that it was the medicine because my doc assured me that it was not a nacrotic and that i would not become addicted.well here i am suffering more from the meds than the pain, please advise, how long will this go on should i taper down, the medicine bottle says don't stop taking without notifing a doc ?

544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Jul 21, 2008
Hi Glo;

I've never had an epidural, though it was proposed. They also proposed Methadone, chronic pain clinics, antidepressants (which make me suidical) .... NO one proposed getting into really good shape and losing the 60 pounds I lost over 1.3 years. No one even thought that was possible. I knew it was possible. Now I ask myself why they never mentioned it!

What injury do you have?

I have two discs injured from a car accident in 2000, and EMG verified nerve damage to S1, which means my right leg has sciatica.

Yes, when I was on Tramadol, I spent nights sleeping in a reclined position or not sleeping at all.

What does your Doctor say when you tell him that you think the Tramadol is making your pain worse? Are you in worse pain now than you were two years ago before you started to take it?

I do know epidurals can stir up pain. They usually want to try three before they stop and try something else.

Are they willing to change your pain medicine back to something less insane? Like codeine and maybe soma for break thru pain or are they afraid of "real" opiates?

Don't kid yourself about Tramadol, it's a narcotic. It's a faux-opiate mixed with a very old antidepressant. Sweden just reclassified it in May 2008. It also has an antidepressant in it. So if you don't need the antidepressant my feeling is that aspect of it will make you feel really crazy. Like feeling like crawling into a hole and dying.

If your Doctor is actually listening to you; it would be time to call and ask them to try a different method. Of course there's a huge possibility that the Tramadol is making you worse. It made me worse. I'm young, lost a bunch of weight to treat the causation physically. It was getting worse, not better.

I don't know how aware your Doctor is of the fall out on Tramadol. After a year it can increase pain. My experience with withdrawal showed this to be true. I did NOT involve my Doctor in the process. But I cannot and would not tell anyone to do it my way. Not if you have access to a Doctor. Of course, if they don't understand you need to tell them, "I want to crawl into a hole and die." That should get their freakin' attention!!

Write me back! Gentle hugs for you!

Love and healing,
Emily




Avatar_m_tn
by plamp, Jul 21, 2008
Well day 7 today was actually pretty amazing. I actually slept 6 and a half hours straight for the second straight night and had no bad dreams (that I can remember anyway=p). The 8 hour work day went really fast and I had no "energy drips"! WOO haha. All of my symptoms are gone practically except very mild anxiety.(I can only notice it if im not busy).

Then I came home and forced myself to run 5 miles. Havent done that in a week haha, was afraid I was going to lose my six pack but no way now I'm back on track and am no longer a prisoner of the gay tramadol. This was by far the best day for me and although I'm not out of the woods yet completely I am so close to normalcy again something I never thought possible on days 1 or 2.

I was trying to think of some words of inspiration for you guys but the only advice I can give is to take things very slow and try to keep your mind off the symptoms. Going to work will help you seekingbetterdays although when you first get there you may not think so as the day progresses you will feel better! I was only on the rat poison for a month and a half (200-300mgs a day) so I only had to endure a week of hell, but you will get through this and make a full recovery I PROMISE!


Avatar_m_tn
by plamp, Jul 21, 2008
Oh and one more thing about emilys comment how tramadol increases pain. That is a very true statement I have been off it for a week and my pain is much much better. I'm19 male and I have the same injury as emily though probably not as advanced. I'm also noticing I have more energy though the day when I'm not off tramadol and no more mood swings like I had while I was on it. Bottom line: Tramadol just plain *****, and the reason people like us don't get attention is because when most people go through these withdrawal symptoms and talk to their doctor he just tells them they need surgery that the w/d symptoms are because of the pain. We are the smart ones and are not buying into the bs that they get fed from tramadol's maker. "The non addictive, non narcotic pain reliever" yeah.......rofl.

Avatar_n_tn
by TramaPaul, Jul 21, 2008
Emily,

Thanks, really. I've been off for 5 days (100mg a day). Day 2 and 3 were the worst so far. I was keeping a full bottle around (you know, just in case), but I just flushed it. I'm committed. I need off. You were the Catalyst for getting rid of that last bottle. Wish me luck. I wish you the very best.

Paul

Avatar_m_tn
by plamp, Jul 21, 2008
Hey man my name's Paul too=]. Glad you got off that stuff and yeah the first few days suck=[. I wish you continued success! How long were you on the poison for?

Avatar_n_tn
by TramaPaul, Jul 21, 2008
Almost a year. Thing is, I did it to myself. Unprescribed. Made me feel better about things. Big lie. I didn't really need it to begin with. It does wonders for mild depression but the cost is far too high. So glad I read this before I stayed on it, thinking that I wasn't doing myself any harm. At least I wasn't on a huge dose. I feel for those who were and send all my good thoughts their way. My withdrawal is awful. I can only imagine yours. I wish I could ease your pain. Stay strong.

Paul

544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Jul 21, 2008
Hi everyone! Well, the Two Pauls ....

Plamp writes, "Havent done that in a week haha, was afraid I was going to lose my six pack but no way now I'm back on track and am no longer a prisoner of the gay tramadol." ROFL!

HA!  "I can't lose my six pack!" I LOVE IT!! Thank goodness you have one to stabilize your back injury! Makes me wanna get to Bikrams .... soon soon ... getting better. The first class I take, I need the next day off so I can take the detox rush. It's 105 in the yoga room .... and you sweat alot .... Many people in "The Program" are supposedly using Bikrams yoga for detox. Sweat is GOOD medicine.

I also think that they really need to start calling Tramadol - RAT POISON ... because you know; Rats Like Tramadol!  Plamp you are so so lucky to have only been on it a month and half... 7 days. Interesting. Using your formula of recovery it would be 63 days a year to recovery ... Of course that's probably from when the drug actually turned on you and started to eat yer brain and make ya crazy and spike your pain. Who knows how long the withdrawal symptoms last and frankly who cares!? I'm off!

I love that you ran 5 mile Plamp! Love it! And you know what, I totally agree. Staying really busy is the way out. Being in the sun is invaluable.  Ignoring the symptoms of this withdrawal is good, because the symptoms are real; and yet they won't kill you. (Unless you have a seizure, or get Serotonin Syndrome) .... SO why bother paying them much mind?

They are rather hush hush about how many people it has killed. I suspect it kills by making people crazy. Or kills by making the person's pain increase leading them to suicide or back surgery and then killing them. Tramadol would be a hard one to frame, but I suspect it HIGHLY of malicious and inflicting intentional emotional distress.

Plamp yeah the fact that my pain is now BARELY mild ... I mean MILD. Is so good and so infuriating!! I want my YEARS BACK! I'm really very upset and angry about it!

Plamp you write, "and the reason people like us don't get attention is because when most people go through these withdrawal symptoms and talk to their doctor he just tells them they need surgery that the w/d symptoms are because of the pain."

Exactly. Exactly. Why it is that we can figure this out and they refuse to makes me think the almighty dollar is involved. Which is sickening. Nothing makes me more upset than drugs that were supposed to help, turning on patients and Doctors living in blissful ignorance. IDIOTS!!
__________________________________________________
TramaPaul;

((((TramaPaul))))) Oh I am so happy for you! You have no idea! Yeah, I know! Days 1-3 were like the deepest part of having pneumonia where you can't even move or take care of yourself. At least with pneumonia it's kinda an out of body experience. So I'm gonna say having near death pneumonia is easier than the first week of withdrawal from Tramadol.

EXCEPT the drug thoughts, drug dreams and Icky Tramadol sweat. I had instant 90%relief from suicidal ideation and from back pain when I stopped cold turkey though. It was enough of a reward to keep me moving forward!

The pain came back a few times, and tried to make itself know as one of those urgent "Take a Tramadol NOW," Signs which I completely ignore. Antihistamines have offered sleep and relief. Vitamins are crucial!

I wish you luck as well, and the very best!

I started to remember the genuine ME at day 7-10. I laugh now and it sounds like me and feels like me laughing! I can feel my heart! That old what goes up, must come down thing? Well Tramadol never took me UP. But yeah, it was one tough Mo Fo and grabbed me and held my head under water when I tried to quit. Never felt anything like it!

I'm honored to have been the catalyst. I have no cravings for Tramadol. Good for you for flushing the little beasties down!

TramaPaul you would have been given Tramadol for mild depression by some Yahoo Doctor. So, it's ok if you want to feel like you did it to yourself, but they would have given it to you by the hundreds with 5 refills!  

I strongly agree that the cost is way too high. It turns on ya quick huh? You couldn't have known you were doing yourself any harm til you KNEW. You know? You're a sweetheart to be so concerned for people who were on longer and on higher does. I can feel that you wish you could ease our pain and you know what?

You do!

Just sharing your experience helps! Honestly it helps.

Love and Healing to all,
Emily

PS. take your vitamins! Drink so much water. It helps! Once you begin to get some sleep that helps too!

Avatar_n_tn
by BrokenArrows, Jul 22, 2008
"It's like that kind man who came on and wrote about his wife's experience. You don't go around screaming, "Lupus! Lupus!" Before you know anything! It's unethical to do so!"

Glad you remember me and very glad you seem to be doing much better. My wife's comedown from Tramadol was like a mini-version of yours, probably because she was on a smaller dose. It's going on three weeks, and symptoms are starting to dissipate. It's definitely not lupus.

Don't be discouraged by the one step back thing. This is exactly what she's going through. On average, you get an hour or more so each day and it does go away, even when it feels otherwise.

I should also throw in that she's had a problem with her esophagus we're now starting to realize is likely related to Tramadol. It shows down digestion and causes food to sit in the stomach. No doc, of course, has linked this, but we looked it up. No doc, in fact, seems to say anything bad about this drug. Keith Richards is more negative on drugs than these docs.



Avatar_n_tn
by TramaPaul, Jul 22, 2008
Day 6 feels bad. I can't believe how evil that little pill is. Woke up feeling like death. Drank 10 gallons of water and now feel just less than human. Emily, thanks for your kind response. I'm not kicking myself too hard. I have perspective on the whole thing. I was able to play some music for the first time since I went CT. Weird joint pain in my fretting hand, but singing seemed to help keep the drug voices away, so I am optimistic that I am about to turn a small corner in my recovery. Posting here feels good. Is it cool if I keep piggybacking your entries? I can't bring myself to start my own journal yet.

Avatar_n_tn
by TramaPaul, Jul 22, 2008
I take that back. I should start my own and have. Here it is if anyone wants to read along:

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/index/567282

Peace,

Paul

Avatar_m_tn
by seekingbetterdays, Jul 22, 2008
Tramadol is truly -- by any measure -- the 'devil's pill'.   It's hard to beleive that hell can come riding into your town in a simple blue-yellow free sample ("sports medicine") bubble-pack of four.

Never got involved in any drug (except tobacco) until this supposedly "non-narcotic", "safe alternative", "synthetic"  hit town.  I accept my part in this, but the whole discription was totally disarming.  It truly is rat poison and addictive.  It lasys in wait for the unsuspecting.  There is much testimony to prove it.  

It is interesting that other countries are catching on.  Not the US, though.  Most US doctors still claim the pill as a safe alternative and a Tram junky like me as an "acceptable loss given the miracle this pill provides to so many".   I received this response from a doctor in my family -- asking about a friend of mine of course.  If I'm not careful I'm going to blow my cover but the anger is real and its difficult not to.

I don't feel like my loss is acceptable at all and their claim of value to be likely overstanded all in the name of the almighty dollar.

Quiting smoking cold turkey 16 years ago was easy by comparison.

Day 9 and still feeling very tired.   The initial battle for my body is over, but it appears a long siege of symptoms has begun.  Fatique and some anxiety drifts in and out.  Doesn't matter.  I'm pushing forward, not back.

Second day at work.  Reality bites sometimes but I am learning to bite back!  Luckily, old familiar coping mechanisms seem to be kicking in after 4 years in "moth balls".  

I'm committed to the battle.  I do not crave the pill at all.  After it almost killed me for 4 days my body seems to have developed a natural aversion to it.  THAT IS GOOD but I find it incredibly strange.  I did not expect this, but it is welcome.

Great therapy reading this blog.  My very sincere thanks to all for honest sharing, and especially to EmilyPost whose honest commentary and valuable lessons triggered me to start my journey toward sanity. Looking up the line at the other names on this blog, their seem to be a number of us that feel the same way.

"You're the best EP!"

I visit this blog often an read it all.  Still "in the closet" fighting this addiction so it's the only human contact I have to keep me knowing I'm not alone and sane.  Couldn't make it without it!

Best wishes for success to all!

Avatar_n_tn
by TramaPaul, Jul 22, 2008
SeekingBetterDays,

I too am fighting alone. Good luck to you and thanks for sharing.

Peace,

TramaPaul




544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Jul 22, 2008
BrokenArrows,

Oh yes, of course I remember you and your dear wife and your stupid doctors! I don't think I'll ever forget the line "Lupus Lupus!!" ....  Those Doctors are sooooo annoying. It really is true what you wrote;

"Keith Richards is more negative on drugs than these docs."

BWA-HA-HA!!

Yes, would that we all had the money to jet over to Switzerland with the Stones and get out blood transfusions and detoxes while they sing, "Sympathy For The Devil."

I've called Tramadol the Devil's Drug. But in this case, it applies to the expression, "The Cleverest thing the Devil Ever Did was Convince the World he doesn't Exist." Which I think Mark Twain said.  Could be wrong.

They don't want to lose Tramadol or it's Ultram or Ultracet version to the classification of a NARCOTIC. Which it is. They want to continue to believe it is harmless.

Aren't doctors supposed to "CAUSE NO HARM!?"

I'm not amazed to hear about the esophageal studies. Does your wife suffer a complete lack of hunger now? I do. It's ridiculous! I literally forget to eat. No thirst at all either.  

Anyhow Dear BrokenArrows and his sweet wife, I am glad to hear she is doing so much better. I am as well, only for one slight immune crash, which feels like a head cold. I'm going home early cause everyone here is scared I'll infect them. ;-) GOOD THINKING!

Love and healing,
Emily


Avatar_n_tn
by TramaPaul, Jul 22, 2008
Hey Youratotalliiar,

I'm not EmilyPost. I'm male, 40, and 3000 miles away from her. I don't have a profile picture up because nobody knows I'm an addict but me. Also, I don't have an injury. I'm just a straight up Tramajunkie. I think the writing style is similar because everyone is going through the same thing and it's hard. Besides, even if it was all her, who cares? Help and comfort are help and comfort and that's important to all of us fighting this thing. I appreciate that you think you are being duped and I guess that hurts, but I think you may want to read back through the journal. There's an awful lot of people with an awful lot of stories on there. That's a lot of creative writing for someone to manufacture out of some bizarre need to be noticed.

544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Jul 22, 2008
Did something weird happen while I was away?

*confused looks*

LOL! OMG. It's someone saying You're A Total Liar ....  Ok whatever .... I guess they deleted ther posts, I see them in my email, but no message. Thanks TramaPaul! I'm going to go read your journal. I'm sorry people get so weird about Tramadol. I have no idea why.

Yeah. My poor brain. It took me at least 5 minutes of staring at the name to figure that out! LOL!!! I'm not planning on being on a game show luckily! LOL ... I can't even do simple math! Yet.

Love and Healing,
Emily

Thinking I better go check TramaPaul's journal.

Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 22, 2008
I'm just yet another one that was fooled into thinking this was a non addictive drug.  I am 39.  I've started messing around with drugs (pot and alcohol) when I turned about 16, and pills around the age of about 18.  Did it all.  Snorting, poping, shooting, everything, perscription drugs, street drugs.  Really didn't matter.  Just loved to be high.  Most people that knew me, had no idea.  Always seemed that I had it together.  Only people that knew were the one's I would get high with.  Then I met my husband at age 25.  He had not done anything but drink and smoke weed, until I turned him on to pills.  I think I did that so I could continue taking them.  He never really liked them and didn't take much at all.  About a year into that I started to see a doctor that told me he was not sure I should be taking hydrocodine at such a young age, because it is highly addictive and said he wanted me to try a new drug on the market.  A non addictive pill. Yes, Ultram.  I really wasn't crazy about the switch at first, but as soon as I started taken them,  life was great.  I know you all know what I mean.  Slowly it just took control of me, and it didn't take long before I knew I was hooked.  I have went through it all with this poison..  All, I tell you.  Just straight up controls me.  I've taking this med now for 11-12 years, in upwards of 10 tabs a day, give or take a couple.  Tried to stop so many times, but felt like I was dying each time and gave back in to it, just to feel normal again.  My husband was alright with me taking the meds for so long because the docs say it is non addictive and non norcodic, and never have a problem refilling it.  I just took too much though that I would also order online.  After countless times trying to stop and he would see what it would do to me, he began to be very much against me taking it.  So about 8 months ago, he quit smoking weed as did I also, and he thought I stopped taking meds too.  We were just both going cold turkey.  He was so proud of me.  It's sick, because I never stopped.  Well, my birthday came around a couple days ago and I said this is it.  I am about to be 39, I have to stop this.  I took my last one on Wednesday, which was 6 days ago.  The very next morning I woke up drained and wanting some meds.  That day my husband and I had dental appointments.  I was having an extraction, but it turned out to be 2 root canals.  So ofcourse I was prescribed meds.  Usually I would ask for the ultram, but I let him just give me something.  turns out it was loratabs.  This was right on time for me.  Although I always loved getting high on this too, I was never addicted to it.  There is just nothing like the addiction to the ultram.  Well, I made it through the first 5 days off the ultram with the loratabs help.  Not much of a problem till I ran out of that today.  My sinus drove me crazy all morning, and the brain zaps kicked in.  I had to be at work all day like this.  It was driving me mad, so I called for a refill.  Just took some of the loratabs a bit ago and feeling better again, except for the sinus problem.  I have been drained and not sleeping too great.  Much better than before though.  I think I just might really kick it this time.  Another wonderful thing I have going for me right now is that my husband is working night shift this week, so he doesn't get to sleep with me and in turn doesn't know that I am having the night sweats right now.  I will get through this once and for all.  

Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 22, 2008
I've never posted online about this before, today was my first.  I guess I felt like seekingbetterdays said it
Still "in the closet" fighting this addiction so it's the only human contact I have to keep me knowing I'm not alone and sane.

  





Avatar_n_tn
by TramaPaul, Jul 22, 2008
Sarah353,

Welcome. Good thoughts to you. This is a terrible time in the process, but I just went thorough it and it does get better. Hang in there.

TramaPaul

Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 22, 2008
Thanks TramaPaul.  I am about to leave work for the day and I will peak back in here tomarrow.  May God help us all.  He is our strength.

Avatar_m_tn
by plamp, Jul 22, 2008
Sarah353,

Hey, hang in there this stuff really is bad let me tell you. Its nothing short of poison honestly. I was only on 300mg daily for 6 weeks and I suffered a week of withdrawal symptoms from stopping cold turkey, the worst being terrible anxiety and depression, vomiting almost straight for the first few days(I think thats a rare one because no one else here complained of vomiting) and having no energy with suicidal thoughts. That was only taking it for 6 weeks. horrible, this stuff is disguised as the "friendly care-free guilt-free drug" but it is none of that and is one of the most dangerous drugs on the market. I wish you the very best since your 6 days out the worst is over so try to keep a positive attitude and just keept telling yourself you will get better because you will! I made a full recovery from this stuff and Im about 99% normal, people tell me it takes a few weeks to get back to that completely normalself so ima be patient!

544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Jul 22, 2008
Seeking Better Days .... Geez it is so true!

You write, " the 'devil's pill'.   It's hard to believe that hell can come riding into your town in a simple blue-yellow free sample ("sports medicine") bubble-pack of four."

So true.

Next statement shocked me a little (I'm not easily shocked)

"Most US doctors still claim the pill as a safe alternative and a Tram junky like me as an "acceptable loss given the miracle this pill provides to so many".   I received this response from a doctor in my family -- asking about a friend of mine of course.  If I'm not careful I'm going to blow my cover but the anger is real and its difficult not to."

I'm amazed you were able to keep your cool. I remember early in this journey someone asked me to go to my Doctor (Luckily I am now uninsured) and I think my response was something like; "No, I'd surely attack him! I'd get thrown in jail for assault!"

I picture me trying to shove pills of Tramadol down his throat! If it is so safe and harmless why doesn't he take em? And I agree. Whole heartedly!

I am not an acceptable loss. And I was soooo close to dying. I'm sure I would have been dead in a year if several elements hadn't interfered to save me. None of us is an acceptable loss. What a completely Sociopathic thing to say! And Miracles are not made by medicine. They are from Grace. UGG! So messed up! Congratulations on not throwing an ice sculpture at him. For some reason I picture the conversation near an ice sculpture of a swan! LOL!

Quitting smoking was easier!?

WOW!

I've heard quitting smoking compared to alot of serious scary and illegal drugs. That's completely amazing but I believe it. There are also NO cravings for me! None. None. Nope. No! No thank you!

Day 9 means you are almost to Day 10! Day 10 was great for me! I hope it will be for you as well Seeking Better Days!

You write; "I'm committed to the battle.  I do not crave the pill at all.  After it almost killed me for 4 days my body seems to have developed a natural aversion to it.  THAT IS GOOD but I find it incredibly strange.  I did not expect this, but it is welcome."

I know, right? Yep, four solid days of being in hell itself. I feel the same way. Natural aversion is right. Completely out of the question. I don't care if taking a Tramadol would stop any of these unpleasant side effects, that would mean I was back on it! No way Jose! Not gonna happen!

Awweeee Youse Guys Are the Best too!!! Couldn't have made it this far without every single person who has ever said a word here. I'm so glad to know that writing here has helped me as much as it helped you.

I had that hard day when the voices in my head were serious bad. And I googled "Tramadol is making me Insane!" and it sent me to my posts! LOL!!!! Freakin hilarious!

I am so happy that all of us can find common ground. This drug is poison. It's no miracle. If they had told me half of what I know now, I would never have agreed to take it. But that ... is how it ended up. I'm luckier than some, certainly!

(((((SeekingBetterDays))))))

________________________________

Hi Sarah,

It's so true. Tramadol's/Ultram's best trick during withdrawal is to yell at you constantly, "You're DYING! You're dying! Take a pill!!!"  It's safe, if you want to come out of the closet and talk about it. We don't know you and we don't judge you. I feel tremendous empathy for you. I'm actually glad you got that med switched and that the loratabs worked to get you thru 6 days.  There's alot of things that can help you.

You look over on the right hand side of the site and there's info about Vitamins and Amino Acids as well as the Thomas Recipe aka The Thomas Detox. Mineral baths and showers (I just used the minerals salts like a scrub and left it on my skin and let the steam get hot ...) those help! It can be done. Tramadol in my experience is really spooky in the inner voices area. It's so creepy the tricks it has up its sleeves to try and make you take another Tramadol. If you are craving it (which I am not) you can also destroy it. When I was in Day 1-14 there was no more available to me. I got an automatic refill that I had forgotten about 14 days into it. My husband handed it to me and I looked at it and handed it back. Told him it was the rat poison and to "hide it."

I also told him that I didn't need him to hide it. Which was true. But I do know people who have cravings can destroy it or have someone else hold it during a taper. I see that the sinus symptoms are there. Vicks under your nose can help and so can a hot shower or bath .... facial steamer even ... or a pot of water barely filled and then made hot, hair pulled back ... towel over head with camphor (liquid Vicks) in the water will work also ....

However, I'm thinking you can be on loratab til you run out and then jump off forevahhh!

I'll be sending the best and brightest thoughts you way!

You're sounding string minded Sarah! I like it I like it!

________________________________________________________

Plamp! Hi!

It really is poison and yes, I threw up. Days 1-14 (randomly) I would puke if I tried to take a vitamin. Even a capsule. Took me awhile to figure out I had to switch to a powdered one in water. I wasn't exactly thinking straight! I still am not; but it is getting better.

No energy, suicidal thoughts. Yes. I had/have those. It's getting better though.

You write, "That was only taking it for 6 weeks. horrible, this stuff is disguised as the "friendly care-free guilt-free drug" but it is none of that and is one of the most dangerous drugs on the market."

I agree. I also can't even believe that it created that in six freaking weeks. *kicks Tramadol in the head*

I'm so happy you are 99% normal. Sometimes I am. Then sometimes the anxiety is so high, I wonder how I am going to force myself to get to the grocery store!

But I did it! And the chicken soup (Jewish Penicillin that my old Jewish Auntie taught me to make is on the stove ... ) I can smell it! Which is amazing! Cause my nose feels like someone shoved a box of tissue up it.

Ok .... I'mma start Day 33 I think ....


Love and healing,
Emily

Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 23, 2008
Good Morning All,

Okay it's a new day and I still haven't taken any tramadol.  Today makes 7 days!!!  One whole week.  I feel really good about that.  Still taking the Loratabs though.  I can't wait till I no longer need this either, because I am so tired in the mornings.  But it is helping me to sleep.  I remember each time I tried to quit before was the worst trying to sleep.  I feel uncomfortably warm at night, but still managing to get some rest.  Not going through the restless leg thing, which is great, and I did not wake up soaking wet this morning, just real hot.  I'm using a humidifier, don't know if it's working, and nasal saline, visine (for the tired eyes) lots of lotion and lip balm (because I just feel so yukie, and my body feels unquinched), that is making me feel better.  I'm just still weak.  I'm drinking boost (I'm sure that is making things better), definately praying on this (as I said, he is our strength).  I am also taking antiboitics because of the root canals, (I really feel this is making a difference also)  Too bad I can't just stay at home in the tub all day, (baths feel real good during this time).  I was just thinking about how sick I feel about myself during taking these pills.  I did alot of stupid things just to get them.  I visited every emergency room in and around town using different names, spending countless dollars on insurance and doctors visits just to get them.  Lying so much.  I've had so many perscriptions filled in false names, lying to pharmacist saying they miss counted, you know the drill.  I've even called dentist numerious times out of state in places I have never even been to and pertended to be a patient on vacation here in my city and in pain, knowing that the can not perscribe norcodics out of state, but could do the ultram.  It is just sick, how much lying I have done.  I will never ever go back to this again. Never!!  I will soon be through with the withdrawls, this I know.  It's the voices, I will need help with, and the lack of energy.  It really helps to be able to talk about it with you here.  I haven't talked to anyone about this.  Thanks for all the support.  

Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 23, 2008
33 days later and you still feeling the effects?  That is pretty scary though.  

Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 23, 2008
I just want to share this with you all....It's true.....look it up....It makes sense that we call tramadol a devils pill, and poison, because that really is what it is....

"pharmakeia" is the Greek word that's translated "witchcraft" or "sorcery" in Gal. 5:20, i.e. one of the "works of the flesh". This Greek word is the source of our English words like "pharmacy", "pharmaceutical", etc. Drugs are inferred.


The Bible speaks clearly of end-time Babylon and her use of  "sorceries"  to deceive the nations of the world in the last days (Rev. 18:23).   It also warns that,   "all sorcerers...shall have their part in the lake of fire"  (Rev. 21:8).      That's a pretty strong warning, so what is sorcery?
         The Greek word  translated as sorceries here is the word "pharmakeis".  It is the word we get our  English word  "pharmaseuticals"  from.   A sorcerer is one who uses these drugs to control the souls (mind, will, and emotions) of others, presumably in a manner than is contrary to God's will....



Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 23, 2008
Strong's Definition

5331 pharmakeia (far-mak-i'-ah);
from 5332; medication ("pharmacy"), i.e. (by extension) magic (literally or figuratively):
KJV-- sorcery, witchcraft.

Thayer's Definition

5331 pharmakeia-
1) the use or the administering of drugs
2) poisoning
3) sorcery, magical arts, often found in connection with idolatry and fostered by it
4) metaphorically, the deceptions and seductions of idolatry


Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 23, 2008
"...for thy merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived." -- Revelation 18:23


Avatar_f_tn
by Sarah353, Jul 23, 2008
Heard about this Ultram detox called Waismann Detox that claims you sleep through you withdrawl detox ordeal....wonder if it works....I don't know....just wanted to throw that out there incase someone might be able to be cured from it.  

http://www.opiates.com/ultram/ultramdetox.html

Avatar_m_tn
by juststartedtramadol, Feb 24, 2009
Hi.  my name is Roger and I am a 60 year old who was on oxycontin for a few years now.  Matter of fact, I had a auto accident in March of 1998 and was put on Norco.  
I started having heart attacks in April of that same year.  They kept me on Norco until I had a triple by-pass in 2000.
After that, they put me on Percocets and after 4 months, they put me on Percocet.
I started having having a lot of pain because of the wreck in 1998, so they sent me to a Pain Clinic where, again, they started giving me Norco.  That's all they would do.  I would go each month to pick up my prescription and come home and take it.
After 4 years, I decided to go to a Neurologist and he put me on Oxycontin.  At first it was low doses then in about a year  it had come up to 100 mgs per day.  He sent me for two surgeries and both didn't seem to help.  One was elbow surgery and the other was shoulder surgery.  I kept telling him that I was hurting almost everywhere in my body and it seemed to be coming from my neck and spine.  
The last time I saw him I mentioned that I was still having pain and I felt it was coming from my spine.  He said, "Roger, I have other patients to see and I don't have time to stand around and listen to you complain, just go take the prescriptions I gave you and keep taking the Oxycontin"!!!!!!!
That was it!!!!!!!
I told them that I wouldn't be back.

My room-mate met a woman, where he works who gave him a card for a Neurosurgeon.  I made an appointment with her and she saw me three days later.  She had an MRI done of my upper spine and found that the disc in my upper spine had completely gone and said that if I didn't have surgery soon that I would end up like Christopher Reeves.
Three days later, I had my surger and it has helped me in many ways except for the surgeries to my elbow and shoulder.
I'm still having lower back pain and my hand where they had done surgery on my elbow and shoulder has spasms and really hurts most of the time.

I started getting off the Oxycontin and got down from 100 mgs to 10 mgs per day.
My Family Practioner just started me on Ultram and gave me a prescription for 20.  I only took ten when I read what you all have to say about this "devil drug", so I quit taking it right then.
I really thank you for keeping me from having to go through another withdrawal, as when I came off the Oxycontin.  It took me almost 2 months to get off of it.

You people are my angels that kept me from having to go through all that, yet again and I thank you, Emily and the rest of you for keeping me from making a BIG MISTAKE.
With Much Respect,
Roger

544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Feb 24, 2009
((((Roger))))

Thank goodness!

So glad!

(((((hugs))))

Em

Avatar_m_tn
by juststartedtramadol, Feb 24, 2009
Hi Emily,

Is there any pain meds that you know of that doesn't have effects like this?

I have gone through so many pain meds listings on the computer and they all seem to say the same thing.
They are ALL, in some way, addictive.

Have you found anything that helps?

Thank you again for the blog and the care you have for other people like myself.
I hope that your pain is a lot better by now.

With much appreciation and respect,
Roger

544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Feb 24, 2009
Hey Roger;

For me, nothing has been as bad during w/d as Tramadol.

Coming off all the pain meds was less horrd on "real opiates."

There's a huge dfference between "dependancy" and "addiction" ... For me, opiiates were the kinder gentler drug

My pain is better; but it may be even better once I am off a Benzo; Klonopin which I am tapering right now.

What helped me the most was weight loss and yoga. Work within the limits of your pain. Vitamns and herbs are powerful. So is the Creation of Health. Perrcone's Diet reduces inflammation

B-vits help wth nerves, damaged or pinched.

Click on my picture and go to my journal. There is a current thread there. I wsh you would post your story there, and get more advice!

Love and healing,
Em


Avatar_n_tn
by Melissa713, Oct 12, 2009
Yes, it's pharmakeia alright.  I'm now a total believer in this.  Was on Klonopin and nearly died coming off of it.  The whole ordeal nearly destroyed me and lasted over one year.  I'm still in recovery, and it will probably take me another year or so to recover fully due to CNS damage.  

Psych drugs are a huge scam.  Our brains were never created to be drugged.  Taking a drug to treat the brain is disrespecting one of the most complex things that God ever created, our brains.  It is most definitely witchcraft, and witchcraft is satanism.  We are living in a spiritual world, so don't know why this concept is so hard for a lot of people to grasp.  Drugs never help in the long run.  They only destroy.  No difference between rx drugs and street drugs.  Wish I had known all this before.  

Avatar_n_tn
by inevitablebri, Nov 12, 2014
I just found your entries and I know I will most likely be awake all night to read it. It is Day 4 since I tapered...Monday night I took my last 25mg. I basically ran out and had some left which I broke apart to spread over 3 days...I could go to the pharmacy and get more yet I sort of feel like this has way to much control over me. I have a bunch of auto immune diseases and I was given tramadol for chronic joint pain.
I am losing interest in writing this as I write but I know if I continue reading your entries I will want to come back and try to get organized thoughts into this comment box. Been on it for almost 2 years. On and off...sometimes taking a week off of taking tramadol since I already read up on the dangers before I even took it the first time. I miss the days were 100mg would keep me feeling energized for two days!
Okay...day 4, can not expect much from me. I am on prednisone right now due to a flare up and I think it is helping a tad. I am not dealing with cold sweats yet but I can  not sleep and my upper back muscles twitch...my scalp tingles and my eyeballs hurt a lot. Thank you for writing all this. You are saving my life.


Avatar_n_tn
by TRAMHELL63, Dec 12, 2014
Help'

Post a Comment