Well, despite no sleep last night (finally fell asleep out of exhaustion around 6am), I feel pretty decent. I am beginning to get a little flustered with all the **** that needs to be done before the dragon lady moves in and I haven't really even started. That's weighing on my mind. Had one of the wild nights though and that helped to release a lot of past tension. I think slowly I'm pulling myself out of that dark place I fell into last week. This was a bad one. I even began to plan my funeral. Not for right away...I have my father to take care of, but for when he's passed. I still don't know what's going to happen to me. It really seems like my existence is caring for him in his old age. No husband, no kids, no home of my own...hmm. Well, I'm doing better. At least I'm planning redoing my garden instead of what urn's I like... I keep thinking of that Beatles song, "I used to be cruel to my woman, I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved. Man, I was mean, but I'm changing my scene and I'm doing the best that I can..." That's me. The woman...my spirit. But, I admit, it's getting better... all the time.