I wonder am I the only mom who feels this way……
Jul 23, 2008 07:41AM
- 2 comments
I am the extremist of introverts.
For those who do not understand an introvert, life for that person (the spouse) can be rather disconcerting.
All of my energy, peace and happiness come from deep within me.
My quiet time; is when I gear back up to give my all to my family.
My husband finds this hurtful.
He is the most extremist of extroverts.
We love each other but we are polar opposites.
He’s touchy feely, loves to hold hands and cuddle….I do not.
I am afraid I hurt his feelings a lot but I need my mental and physical space sometimes.
He sees clearly that I only need space from him however and not the children.
He feels the isolation.
But, if only someone out there could understand and tell me I am not crazy.
It is my husband who drains the life out of me, not my children.
When we first met, I told him how exhausting he was….He would just laugh.
He’s not laughing anymore.
I slept on the couch last night, just to avoid him sleeping next to me.
I don’t like to be touched when I sleep. And he loves to cuddle.
I need the couch night once every 3 months and he gets so bent out of shape.
I love my family but need those 7 hr nights alone on the couch, a few times a year to be ‘me’ again.
My husband only sees it as I take my ‘alone’ time after the kids are asleep, so it’s him I am getting away from.
Am I wrong?
I am trying to do what is best for my family. I take my alone time when everyone is suppose to be sleeping as not to lose anytime with them in the waking hours.
If I didn’t take those few nights a year downstairs, in my own head, my own little world, I couldn’t be the wife and mother I am to them.
I know I am a great mother…..I am not so sure I am a great wife.
I am not looking for advice or opinions, but of course everyone is entitled and I welcome comments, even though I may not respond.
Just needed to get my thoughts out.
For those who do not understand an introvert, life for that person (the spouse) can be rather disconcerting.
All of my energy, peace and happiness come from deep within me.
My quiet time; is when I gear back up to give my all to my family.
My husband finds this hurtful.
He is the most extremist of extroverts.
We love each other but we are polar opposites.
He’s touchy feely, loves to hold hands and cuddle….I do not.
I am afraid I hurt his feelings a lot but I need my mental and physical space sometimes.
He sees clearly that I only need space from him however and not the children.
He feels the isolation.
But, if only someone out there could understand and tell me I am not crazy.
It is my husband who drains the life out of me, not my children.
When we first met, I told him how exhausting he was….He would just laugh.
He’s not laughing anymore.
I slept on the couch last night, just to avoid him sleeping next to me.
I don’t like to be touched when I sleep. And he loves to cuddle.
I need the couch night once every 3 months and he gets so bent out of shape.
I love my family but need those 7 hr nights alone on the couch, a few times a year to be ‘me’ again.
My husband only sees it as I take my ‘alone’ time after the kids are asleep, so it’s him I am getting away from.
Am I wrong?
I am trying to do what is best for my family. I take my alone time when everyone is suppose to be sleeping as not to lose anytime with them in the waking hours.
If I didn’t take those few nights a year downstairs, in my own head, my own little world, I couldn’t be the wife and mother I am to them.
I know I am a great mother…..I am not so sure I am a great wife.
I am not looking for advice or opinions, but of course everyone is entitled and I welcome comments, even though I may not respond.
Just needed to get my thoughts out.
Just another memory of mine coming to mind......
I remember the days when I was a little girl and going into the hall (coat closet).
Not because of depression or abuse....but to go and regroup. I shared a room with my sister and my house was full or people all the time and pets.
I would take one of my favorite pets and just go into the closet to be alone.
No one ever knew.
Just told my mother recently about it....she was shocked
I remember the days when I was a little girl and going into the hall (coat closet).
Not because of depression or abuse....but to go and regroup. I shared a room with my sister and my house was full or people all the time and pets.
I would take one of my favorite pets and just go into the closet to be alone.
No one ever knew.
Just told my mother recently about it....she was shocked
My alone time has always been in the wee hours of the morning (I'm an insomniac). That's the only time I have to myself, and I desperately need it. (I care for my elderly mother 24/7 and try to hold down a part-time job, and then there's my husband ). I have my coffee, read the paper, log into MH, or sometimes, it's just to sit and contemplate about anything and everything. With out this time I would literally go crazy.
I have done this through all my married life. My kids are grown and out of the house now, but my husband knows that this is "my time" and has always accepted it. On the other hand, I am like you, and I am not a real huggy, cuddly type of person and he is. I especially like my space at bedtime. I feel like I'm in a "straight jacket" when he wants to fall asleep with his arms around me, the claustrophobia starts to set in....lol. I let him cuddle for, oh...maybe a minute...and that's it!
As far as your couch night goes, I have it every night during the summer..lol.! I live in the desert and have a two story house and it is just too hot to sleep upstairs (and the hot flashes don't help any!)
Keep doing what your doing (for your sanity), and your husband will just have to accept it, or not. That's his choice!
I have done this through all my married life. My kids are grown and out of the house now, but my husband knows that this is "my time" and has always accepted it. On the other hand, I am like you, and I am not a real huggy, cuddly type of person and he is. I especially like my space at bedtime. I feel like I'm in a "straight jacket" when he wants to fall asleep with his arms around me, the claustrophobia starts to set in....lol. I let him cuddle for, oh...maybe a minute...and that's it!
As far as your couch night goes, I have it every night during the summer..lol.! I live in the desert and have a two story house and it is just too hot to sleep upstairs (and the hot flashes don't help any!)
Keep doing what your doing (for your sanity), and your husband will just have to accept it, or not. That's his choice!
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