It IS just anxiety

Well I have come to the realization that it IS the anxiety. All of the heart palpitations, the dizziness, the nausea, the achy body. It sux because I hoped it was physical, that making it much easier to fix. This means that I'm in it for the long haul and I just want to lay in bed and cry. I don't know how to get out of this and get my life back.There are times that I am overwhelmed thinking am I ever gonna have a "normal" life. (although I don't know that it ever was normal) I am looking into day treatment programs, and intensive psycho therapy. It's just debilitating at this point. I can't work, I can't do much most days but eat, and that hasn't helped me at all!!!! It's easy to feel sorry for yourself, and I am definatly good at that, so I try to think positivly. Having no support system has made this even more trying. I have 140 days sober. So needless to say I have lost all of my friends. I live with my mom who is a very bad alcoholic, she comes home from work and gets drunk immediatly. Usually by 2:30 or 3:00 she is rambling nonesense. And of coarse she doesn't understand Panic disorder or agoraphobia. She has been calling me all morning harassing me because my son is home from day camp. I can't face an episode like we had the other day. We get to day camp he starts crying that he doesn't want to stay and I start going into a full blown panic attack, I need to run out of there. So I grab him and we run. I feel bad for the kid, he is probably thinking why are we running like this? Then there is the whole guilt thing because this disorder has effected him and I am a single parent. I can't rely on his fathers side of the family, and my mom is the only family I have close to me, and she is drunk all of the time, so leaving him with her is not an option.AHHHHHHHHHHHH, I wanna scream. Then I realize I have the the greatest gift in the world and no matter how tuff times get, it's worth the fight to be the best me I can so that I can be the best mom to my sweet boy!!!