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Infertility blahsss

Jul 23, 2008 10:31PM - 9 comments

I feel so empty and alone these days, my husband is a very kind person but although he has been going through this ttc hell with me for 3 years, he really doesn't get how it is affecting me. i feel empty, totally depressed and useless. All i seem to do these days is dwell on the fact that we still don't have a child. It seems like every time i go to the dr, something else goes wrong with my health. It started with endometrosis, then ovulating too early, i also have a diseased tube and low thyroid. I have recently found out that i have food aversions to dairy and soy, i LOVE cheese and ice cream. I'm also 40lbs + heavier than i was 3 years ago before all of this started. I have my lap surgery the end of Aug, i just want it over so we can go to the next step off ttc(not that the process has been any fun) I just wish i could put it all to the back of my mind until my body is ready for everything to start up again. We/ i need this to be the year i get pregnant, we can't go through much more of this emotionally or financially! Life really ***** right now, i wish i could wake up tomorrow and feel better about me and about my life. I know there must be some light at the end of the tunnel for us, i just wish it would hurry up and get here:(

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by adgal, Jul 24, 2008 01:05AM
I so feel your pain.  I understand that feeling of emptiness, depression and almost feeling like less of a women (you didn't say that part, but thats how I sometimes feel).  I too want so badly to hear those words "mommy".  

We are in slightly different situations...you are having trouble conceiving, I can do that but can't seem to carry past 10 weeks (I recently had my third miscarriage).  Somehow we keep the strength to continue, and please believe that your dream will be realized.  Please take good care, and know there are many of us who know how you feel.  You are not alone.

Lots of baby dust to you, and take care,

Amanda

by lauragirl23, Jul 24, 2008 01:22AM
keep your head up ladies .theings will get better

by anne72, Jul 24, 2008 07:54AM
Thanks ladies, it really helps to know you guys understand how i feel.

by Helen72, Jul 24, 2008 09:56AM
I think we can all relate to ttc depression here.  It totally consumes your life.  I am sure that waiting for many months to have your lap done isn't helping.  I wish Canadian system was more efficient and was not causing this extra distress.  Infertility is painful enough!  

I just hope that your wait will pay off with a bfp!

by anne72, Jul 24, 2008 12:41PM
I wish it was too Helen. Thanks
Hope you are feeling good.

by adgal, Jul 24, 2008 12:55PM
Helen, that is so true.  In some ways we are lucky because we can't ever be turned down for tests, treatments, etc. and I do like our 1 year paid maternity leave, but the wait to get any tests or procedures done is so frustrating.  Where Anne lives there is a pretty serious shortage of Dr.s (well, there is all over the country really) so even trying to find someone to treat you can be extremely difficult.  Hang in there Anne, I hope you are through this soon. I can't wait to hear you tell me you got a BFP!!  And I know it will happen!

by Stacey1718, Aug 18, 2008 07:39PM
Anne... I know everything seems to be going in the wrong direction sometimes but it will happen for you.  Just get through one cycle at a time, one procedure at a time, one day at a time.  

by A_Muse4u, Nov 16, 2008 06:35PM
Thanks for the inspirational thoughts and words to all of you.  May God bless us all...Amen.  


by A_Muse4u, Nov 16, 2008 06:35PM
Thanks for the inspirational thoughts and words to all of you.  May God bless us all...Amen.  


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