Mar 11, 2010
It's amazing what the effects of over 18 years of quack studies, fad diets, and the complete disruption of the very IDEA of eating can do to somebody. Having embarked on the simple "learning to eat" concept ---no calorie counting, point counting, or food weighing allowed---I still feel compelled somehow to tinker with my progress by reverting back to the old "pep talks" I used to get myself into trouble with. "Maybe if you cut out some of the daily intake, you'll lose more", or "You are better off weighing yourself a few times every day, just to make sure that you're not accidentally eating too much / not putting on weight from that extra serving". ARGH! I'm not even allowed to do something GOOD for me in peace! All the old voices of failed diet attempts surge back with this "It'll work THIS time" seduction. It's hard not to consider falling for the gimmicks, the shortcuts, or the quick fixes because they promise results in a FRACTION of the time...supposedly for good. The ravages of all my failures, however, turned a 20lb. weight loss goal 22 years ago into a 125 lb. weight loss goal today. I couldn't learn, because I was desperate to succeed, and I made the mistake of turning to the sources who did not have my health and well-being at heart to give me the advice I wanted. Now, without the "crutch" of some funky diet plan cooked up by some celebrity dietician, it feels weird...almost WRONG, just to live and eat normally. Of course obvious junk foods are temporarily off the menu until I get the hang of eating properly first, but it's amazing how much of the old ways of thinking want to hang on and trick me into doubting my ability to make any progress. We'll see.