On Day 18

Still hanging in tough, mood is totally wacked thou. Go from having lots of energy to being majorly cranky and iritible. Some of it could be from lack of sleep still having a tough time with that. I know that I was on these pills for so long they messed my brain and the way its suppose to work. When its time to go to sleep I get all jittery and can't get to sleep, been taking about 6 3mg of melintion and that helps get me to sleep for a couple hours, then wake up and just sitting in shower till start to relax and get sleepy. This goes on about 3-4 times a night. Luckly we have a basement with extra bed and bathroom so I don't keep everyone awake. My daughter came down one night and was going to sleep with me but she said I was tossing all over the bed and she decided it was safer to go back to her own bed. I know I can destroy a made bed over night. It's so bad the cats leave me to sleep by myself. On the days I feel good I'm happy that I'm doing this and drug free and on the days I feel like **** I'm still glad I'm drug free but keep wondering how long this will last. I can't expect my mind to heal it's self over night so I'll just keep "putting one foot in front of the other" Till I'm back to normal WHAT EVER THAT IS LIKE BEEN SO LONG DON'T REMEMBER ANYMORE. Going to sign off and start some laundry and maybe a nap. Terri