parenting addicts

I have been on this road for seven yrs now. It never gets easier - first my oldest, now my youngest. I always said that when you give birth it is almost as if they give you an IV that changes your heart forever. The protection mode is kicked into high gear. You would step in front of a truck to save your child. So when they come under the grips of drugs, you have to sit and watch that truck run over them time after time, praying they survive.  You look at the pictures of them when they were small -- so innocent and full of love and hope -- and you search their young adult faces for some familiar sign.
I am afraid of the phone. So much bad news via the phone. I have to remind myself to keep breathing when the caller ID says it is my child calling. EVery morning when I wake I wonder if we made it through another day - do I get one more 24 hrs to try and make a difference.