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Not coping

Jan 30, 2016 - 0 comments
Tags:

not coping

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chronic

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Pain

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Back pain

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Neck

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head

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pain tracker



I just started this pain tracker because I wanted to be able to hand something to all of my doctors rather than repeating myself all the time. Also this is a more accurate and detailed account. Lately my pain has been getting a lot worse. I am no longer able to push through the pain to get things done around the house or shopping etc. I am now almost entirely confined to the couch/bed. The nerve pain in my right thigh has gotten really bad again after recently having a cortisone injection in my groin. It didn't completely help and it wore off too quickly. I am now getting the pain in my other thigh and it has spread to my outer hips. Also the nerve pain in my lower back, buttocks and back of the thighs is much worse. I feel it constantly. There is a dull ache through my entire lower back, buttocks and back of my thighs. But at the same time, I can feel that I am definitely getting nerve pain in those areas. It actually started out just nerve pain. With rest it felt a little better. But not lately. Even with rest I am in constant pain. I have had chronic lower back pain for 19 years. That was my earliest symptom. I have had it every single day since I was 12 years old. It was not severe all the time. Usually during any physical activity like walking to my classes at school. Over the past 19 years that has gotten much worse. I have since had a multitude of symptoms to add to the list. All of my joints starting becoming very painful after any physical activity. My lower back has always been the worst joint pain. I also have pain in my hands, wrists, elbows, knees, spine (whole back), ankles and shoulders. Because of this, there has always been a lot that I couldn't do. 16 years ago I started getting nerve pain in the left side of the nape of my neck. I was working in a job that required me to be on my feet all day and I think that had triggered it somehow. This pain has also gradually gotten worse. When my spine MRI's came back with no nerve compression, the doctors suggested that the lipoma I had right on the pain location could be the cause of it. So I had the lipoma removed. Since the operation, the nerve pain in my neck/back has gotten extremely bad. So obviously the lipoma was not the cause. A couple of years ago I suddenly started getting nerve pain in the back/sides of my head. It doesn't hurt all the time, but it can be quite bad. Not long after that I started getting nerve pain going from my arm pit to just under my ribs. It was so severe that all I could do was lay on my side in bed and cry. Gradually (with the help of Lyrica) the pain died down and only got bad when I was overdue for my Lyrica. The Lyrica didn't help for my other areas with nerve pain. Then came the thigh nerve pain, a couple of months ago. It was just in my right thigh and it came on very suddenly. The pain was constant and walking became almost impossible. It is very bad currently and I am now getting it in my other leg. All of my pains are so bad I can not walk very far and have to hold on to furniture. I feel like every part of my body is hurting all the time. It has made me severely depressed. I have a special needs son so obviously it's important that I am able to cater to his needs. I am constantly having to tell him that I can't do things because of my pain. Whenever he accidentally touches a nerve pain area the pain is so bad I have to tell him that he's not allowed to touch my back, neck and legs. It hurts to sit, it hurts even more standing and the pain keeps me awake at night. I'm not a lazy person so this is absolutely killing me. I am completely disabled. Nobody understands. I can't get a proper diagnosis even though my problems have been extensively investigated. I keep thinking that everybody must think that I'm making it up or exaggerating.  If you knew me on a personal level you would see that I am definitely not. My partner see's me crying uncontrollably when my pain is bad. She see's me when I am trying to get around the house. She see's my eyes well up whenever we talk about my pain. She see's how depressed this is making me. It's all I ever think about or talk about. Because I don't get any relief. If I am suffering, of course I'm going to be thinking of my pain. I hate what this is doing to my son. I also hate what this is doing to me. I'm lost in this pain. My personality is completely gone I cry when I see happy people because I want to be happy. I'm doing this journal because I feel as though I'm not going to be able to cope with this any longer. No medications help except Prednisolone. It only helps for the inflamation, not the nerve pain. I can't get that again until I see a specialist. I keep getting referrals for specialists but I have no money to pay. A doctor asked a reumatologist if they could bulk bill me but I haven't found out yet.

Pain Tracker
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