May 02, 2010
Now 11 weeks into my re-education of my eating, I've loosened up a bit and some habits and choices are becoming automatic for the most part. Once every so often I sample a CRUMB of cake pinched between my fingers, feeling a strange combination of instability and terror as the now intense blast of sugar and fat brings back more EMOTION than flavor. I know, with a very nervous conviction, that I am still far from able to put gooey desserts in proper perspective. A lifetime of bad habits and 100 extra pounds was built on those foods, and while some experts insist that we MUST have desserts in small amounts to prevent bingeing as a result of total abstinence, there are times when it is definitely advisable NOT to test fate before you're psychologically prepared to. When a crumb of cake stops making me nervous, I can move up to a forkful.
It doesn't really matter much, since I do just as well on sweet fruits (and the occasional diet soda or sugar-free hot cocoa) with a strong compliment of vegetables and proteins alongside some simple enriched grains. So far, they've been serving me well.
I still keep an ear to the ground and keep a casual watch on what the expert of the moment thinks we should be doing to make ourselves healthier, while marveling at the conflicting commercials promising wonder-cures for weight loss using the same, tired old methods that have failed so many of us in the end. Pills, delivered diets, magazine diets, health clubs, exercise gurus, all using every gimmick they can to separate us from our sanity...and more importantly, from our MONEY.
The latest gimmick that has me rolling my eyes is the idiot machine that waggles our back ends from side to side as though we were wagging our tails in blind obedience to the company which promotes the crap that makes looking like an idiot seem really productive. I do a few simple stretches and bends, the occasional few minutes of aerobic-type exercise, and leave it at that.
Past a certain weight, any signs of loss pretty much have to double in amount before they are physically noticeable. Though I have dropped 26 lbs in a little over 11 weeks, no one seems to have caught on yet that anything is different. I've lost 3 inches from my hips alone, which makes certain areas of my clothes bulge out in places LESS than they had previously, but I am still in the ballpark of my original clothing size from the waist up, which kind of hides most of my progress thus far. Oh, well. That won't last :)