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I guess I'm holding on

May 03, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

holding on

,

dramatic

,

waking up

,

driving

,

jess culinary

,

pizza

,

algebra

,

Poems

,

writing

,

spazz hands

,

hot weather

,

shei

,

buddha

,

rock monkey

,

Agnes the Jesus Mobile

,

steve

,

prom flowers

,

roses and other

,

dandelions

,

Crying

,

embarassed

,

left out

,

cute

,

Phoebe the gecko

,

whole family

,

dino eggy

,

Love

,

mom

,

jess's dad

,

court



If you want to call it that. No, but seriously I'm well. I am holding on. I'm holding on for dear life with the cling of a piece of chewing gum in hair. And no one's gonna stop me, not even peanut butter!

Wow I'm so ridiculously dramatic. I don't know why I talk like I'm defending myself from someone. I like to deny that I'm defending myself from myself, you know? Let me read this one day and know I was not completely loose from my hinges. Ok?

I woke up at 6. Actually, I woke up RIGHT before 6 and that was that. Showered and went at life. Drove to school and la di da. Jess gave me her number and that was all she said to me. Fine with me. I was maybe a bit overly excitable trying to look content. Stupid girl.
I'm lost in Algebra, I don't understand why we learn these things. I really don't. And why Tobes wants to torture us all of a sudden.
I wrote a poem. Actually I wrote 3 poems. One about Shei, one about creepers, and one about something in the past. All completely unrelated. I stuck buddha and the monkey to my dash and took down a jesus. He's in my ash/cookietray though. No worries, Agnes.  Drove to Steve's. Picked out my prom flowers! Red roses and white something or anothers. Pretty, real pretty. I dunno what they're called though. I like dandelions, but they would be a bit obnoxious. Steve has a white rose. I'm actually getting really excited. I just need to do my hair, really. Just a week or two.

Me and Steve had a VERY good day, but then I cried. I don't want to talk about why I cried because it's embarassing and I like to think it was the sudden change from the really good emotion that just plunged me a bit too far down the scale. So I cried. And I was cute he said, but I just want to know what it's like. I want to be included. This isn't making me remotely sad right now. Embarassed, yes. Crying, no.

We fetched Phoebe! She's safe and sound. Popped out another egg. It's so cute and hollow and stuff. Empty though. She cracked it. Like a tiny dino egg. All my babies are home now. I feel complete again. My tiny family is whole.

So I told her I loved her. Because I do, and I knew it would mean something to her if I said it. So I did, and it made her happy, and I'm glad she couldn't see me cause I was so red. But I do love her. I just can't talk, you know?

Let's see. Oh, Jess aploygized and my mom kinda yelled at her dad and idk what else they said. Mom made me seem like a dipwad to her dad and then Jess repeated those things back to me and I felt so pathetic. But mom means well. I'm glad she's doing what she's doing. Things will be alright. For me atleast. I'm sorry she's in trouble, but I don't know what to tell you. She atleast said she's never heard me say a mean thing, so it wasn't personal. Alright. I can live with that.



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