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PLEASE Need guidance, advice, options.. HELP!! What the hell?
Jul 29, 2008 04:45AM
- 13 comments
Okay I meant to post a journal the other day, quite enlightened.. After speaking with Joey's grandma about my situation.. She used to work with "displaced women" and she knows all about my type, apparently.. and my mother. And so on... Well I was going to talk about how Mary [Riley's great grandma] was talking about how I CAN get out of here and it's a bad environment for me, and my son.. But I almost felt ridiculed by her lack of patience for things like these, for being here in the first place like I was doing my son wrong almost. She didn't mean to make it sound that way, but.. I feel like I'm not doing right by him, but I don't know a way out.. I don't have a job, jobs are hard as hell to come by in this town... I don't even have my license, and no one to blame but myself... I have got myself in one hell of a mess... But now I want to get out so bad..
My brother [the autistic one] was downstairs at 5 AM and he talks to himself or well, the game.. and he was about 15 feet away from my bed so I asked him to be quiet and he just kept on, and got aggrivated... So I gave him a choice to either be quiet or go upstairs to his room (where is his mom in all of this you might ask? Why the hell is this child allowed up until 5 AM?? because my step brother is on the computer all day and my brother doesn't like to share because they have "time limits" so my mom thinks it's right to let him stay on until the wee hours when he SHOULD be learning compromising and coping skills or he's always going to think the world will confrom to what HE thinks is right.. but I won't tell her how to raise her own children....) anyways.... he started fighting with me and getting more and more angry.. we were arguing and he got so mad he was screaming and I was already mad as well, needing some SLEEP! (Riley was up by this point so what's it matter?) Anyway... SCREAMING at me. I went to get my mom before things got out of hand and just like ALWAYS all she had to say was " Tell him I said to go to bed" I told her that wouldn't do anything but I did it anyways.. He locked himself in the bathroom and I tried to ignore it but he was being so loud still so I fought with him some more to go upstairs and then.. HE HIT ME! He got it from Riley's immature father, and so I can't say I'm innocent there either, letting things like that happen, I guess..
So I went to tell my mom.. She came downstairs TALKING to him and saying she'd take him to get his hair cut tomorrow and he could spend time at his sisters, cause she's feeling bad for leaving them home alone all day yesterday... HE SHOULD BE IN BIG TROUBLE! She blamed me for "not being Ms. patient or Ms. perfect" and assumed I was causing this. He's NEVER going to learn right from wrong and I think he is the one who needs it the most.. But it's her who is going to catch hell for it in the end so what the hell does it matter?
Regardless of who's to blame or what's going to happen with them...
THIS IS NOT A GOOD PLACE FOR ME. NOR FOR ME TO RAISE A CHILD. Period.
I want out. She and I were arguing at this point because she snidely says "What is this really about, you wanting sleep or is Joey going to come over soon?!" I told her NO Because you said he couldn't and you said as long as you don't see him last time I asked so I said to hell with it..
Anyway.. We were arguing and she ALWAYS try to hurt your feelings as much as she can when she argues with you.. So when I told her how I want to move out she eventually says after a few more words "Do you think you're doing me a favor by staying here? What makes you think that I would be hurt if you left with the kid I never wanted you to have in the first place?" So I told her "I'm going to move as far away from your ****** up life as I possibly can" And she said "Shut the **** up. there comes a point where you should just shut the **** up" And i said "yeah after you cut as deep as you possibly can, huh?" "Well I'm sorry we're not ALL perfect like you. blahblahblah" And I told her if she thinks that I really feel that way that I'm better than everyone else she doesn't even KNOW me, and she never TRIED to know me as a kid, either. But she just ignored me. and went into her room.
Ouch.
Anyone have any IDEA about emancipation laws in Ohio or anything like that? From what I've read a minor has to be either enlisted in the army or married.. What the #&*#%@ Can I do?
Next Saturday I go to Mary's house again to talk more about my options but does anyone have any good suggestions? I really need to remove myself from this situation, this house.. and these people. I hate to leave my mother behind, I love her, and she helps me sometimes... But she's only hurting me and holding me back. And my brother, he needs the right guidance.. The guidance only a mother can give and I fear for him. Someone of his mental capacity should NOT have neglectful parents. He will never cope with the real world and could have been such a better person because I've seen the potential in him, he can be a really sweet kid. But he won't listen to me because I'm not his mother and he isn't able to understand that I only want the best for him........ :(
I'm sorry I had to vent, I'm just so upset about all of this! So SICK of it!
My brother [the autistic one] was downstairs at 5 AM and he talks to himself or well, the game.. and he was about 15 feet away from my bed so I asked him to be quiet and he just kept on, and got aggrivated... So I gave him a choice to either be quiet or go upstairs to his room (where is his mom in all of this you might ask? Why the hell is this child allowed up until 5 AM?? because my step brother is on the computer all day and my brother doesn't like to share because they have "time limits" so my mom thinks it's right to let him stay on until the wee hours when he SHOULD be learning compromising and coping skills or he's always going to think the world will confrom to what HE thinks is right.. but I won't tell her how to raise her own children....) anyways.... he started fighting with me and getting more and more angry.. we were arguing and he got so mad he was screaming and I was already mad as well, needing some SLEEP! (Riley was up by this point so what's it matter?) Anyway... SCREAMING at me. I went to get my mom before things got out of hand and just like ALWAYS all she had to say was " Tell him I said to go to bed" I told her that wouldn't do anything but I did it anyways.. He locked himself in the bathroom and I tried to ignore it but he was being so loud still so I fought with him some more to go upstairs and then.. HE HIT ME! He got it from Riley's immature father, and so I can't say I'm innocent there either, letting things like that happen, I guess..
So I went to tell my mom.. She came downstairs TALKING to him and saying she'd take him to get his hair cut tomorrow and he could spend time at his sisters, cause she's feeling bad for leaving them home alone all day yesterday... HE SHOULD BE IN BIG TROUBLE! She blamed me for "not being Ms. patient or Ms. perfect" and assumed I was causing this. He's NEVER going to learn right from wrong and I think he is the one who needs it the most.. But it's her who is going to catch hell for it in the end so what the hell does it matter?
Regardless of who's to blame or what's going to happen with them...
THIS IS NOT A GOOD PLACE FOR ME. NOR FOR ME TO RAISE A CHILD. Period.
I want out. She and I were arguing at this point because she snidely says "What is this really about, you wanting sleep or is Joey going to come over soon?!" I told her NO Because you said he couldn't and you said as long as you don't see him last time I asked so I said to hell with it..
Anyway.. We were arguing and she ALWAYS try to hurt your feelings as much as she can when she argues with you.. So when I told her how I want to move out she eventually says after a few more words "Do you think you're doing me a favor by staying here? What makes you think that I would be hurt if you left with the kid I never wanted you to have in the first place?" So I told her "I'm going to move as far away from your ****** up life as I possibly can" And she said "Shut the **** up. there comes a point where you should just shut the **** up" And i said "yeah after you cut as deep as you possibly can, huh?" "Well I'm sorry we're not ALL perfect like you. blahblahblah" And I told her if she thinks that I really feel that way that I'm better than everyone else she doesn't even KNOW me, and she never TRIED to know me as a kid, either. But she just ignored me. and went into her room.
Ouch.
Anyone have any IDEA about emancipation laws in Ohio or anything like that? From what I've read a minor has to be either enlisted in the army or married.. What the #&*#%@ Can I do?
Next Saturday I go to Mary's house again to talk more about my options but does anyone have any good suggestions? I really need to remove myself from this situation, this house.. and these people. I hate to leave my mother behind, I love her, and she helps me sometimes... But she's only hurting me and holding me back. And my brother, he needs the right guidance.. The guidance only a mother can give and I fear for him. Someone of his mental capacity should NOT have neglectful parents. He will never cope with the real world and could have been such a better person because I've seen the potential in him, he can be a really sweet kid. But he won't listen to me because I'm not his mother and he isn't able to understand that I only want the best for him........ :(
I'm sorry I had to vent, I'm just so upset about all of this! So SICK of it!
I wish you lived in Australia. You would be able to move out fully supported with what we call Parenting payment single. And then they pay you around $1000 per fortnight. (amongst other things) And at the moment just for giving birth you get $5000.
I wish I knew more about your system to help you. Ours gives us free healthcare and hospital and free education. You never have to worry about how to provide for a child. I would be lost in America. I think it would be a constant worry.
Surely there must be some sort of support system in place to help you??
Hopefully some of the other mums will know. Why don't you try posting in the 35+ Pregnancy section? A lot of those women were young mums. Maybe they will know...
xxx
I wish I knew more about your system to help you. Ours gives us free healthcare and hospital and free education. You never have to worry about how to provide for a child. I would be lost in America. I think it would be a constant worry.
Surely there must be some sort of support system in place to help you??
Hopefully some of the other mums will know. Why don't you try posting in the 35+ Pregnancy section? A lot of those women were young mums. Maybe they will know...
xxx
In the state of pa you are emancipated the minute you have a child.. I would check your laws. There are places that will put you up if you are in an unpleasant enviroment. You would also qualify for welfare, wic, and housing.. Its a start.. It won;t be easy but you can do it. Good luck and don't keep your child in an unpleasant enviroment..
Not having much luck finding any good news...BUT you may try to go to a women's outreach center or even talk to the WIC office about your situation. there are always ways around these things, just may take some digging!! send me a message if you need to talk, i'll be on pretty much all day.
Ohio has no emancipation law. Neither a minor (< 18) nor the minor's parent is able to file a petition for emancipation.
A minor can achieve independence from a parent in two ways:
1. Lawful marriage; or
2. Successful enlistment in any branch of the Armed Forces.
However, in the event of divorce or annulment, or discharge from the Armed Forces before the age of 18, custody of the minor will automatically revert to the parent who previously had custody over the minor.
Q.: Does becoming pregnant or having a child mean a minor is automatically emancipated?
A.: No. While getting married generally constitutes emancipation, becoming pregnant and having a child does not. The difference is that a person who marries generally intends to substitute the parents’ support and responsibility with the spouse’s support and responsibility. However, if a minor becomes pregnant and has a child but does not marry, her parents continue to be responsible for her and she may continue to rely on their support. Please note that the baby’s father also may have support obligations in such a situation
Q.: When is a court likely to become involved in an emancipation issue, and how does this happen?
A.: A person who wishes to “become emancipated” cannot do so by petitioning the court, as there is no provision for such a petition in Ohio. If a court has previously issued a child support order, parents may ask the court to relieve them of their duty to support a minor child financially, but this does not constitute that child’s emancipation.As explained above, the parents still may be held responsible for the child’s actions even though they no longer support the child financially.
Ohio has no emancipation law. Neither a minor (< 18) nor the minor's parent is able to file a petition for emancipation.
A minor can achieve independence from a parent in two ways:
1. Lawful marriage; or
2. Successful enlistment in any branch of the Armed Forces.
However, in the event of divorce or annulment, or discharge from the Armed Forces before the age of 18, custody of the minor will automatically revert to the parent who previously had custody over the minor.
Q.: Does becoming pregnant or having a child mean a minor is automatically emancipated?
A.: No. While getting married generally constitutes emancipation, becoming pregnant and having a child does not. The difference is that a person who marries generally intends to substitute the parents’ support and responsibility with the spouse’s support and responsibility. However, if a minor becomes pregnant and has a child but does not marry, her parents continue to be responsible for her and she may continue to rely on their support. Please note that the baby’s father also may have support obligations in such a situation
Q.: When is a court likely to become involved in an emancipation issue, and how does this happen?
A.: A person who wishes to “become emancipated” cannot do so by petitioning the court, as there is no provision for such a petition in Ohio. If a court has previously issued a child support order, parents may ask the court to relieve them of their duty to support a minor child financially, but this does not constitute that child’s emancipation.As explained above, the parents still may be held responsible for the child’s actions even though they no longer support the child financially.
i agree usually when you have a child they have different options... find out.. It's nice someone is willing to help you but are they really helping you...Try and call around, look in the phone book, online etc whatever about assistance. I'm in Canada but I am sure you have similar things to ours there as well...Move out..as someone stated.. it will be difficult but if its best for you and your son then why not...your next step should be looking into childcare for your son and getting back into your studies so that you could go to college or university(if you want) that way you have a better chance out there at getting a good job other than a typical fast food place job..(mind you it is a start) I also heard that they have something in the states( i seen this on dr phil lol) that they have schools where moms bring their children and they finish their highschool(if you are interested in something like that) best of luck hun.. it's not easy being a mom and especially a young one but you know what keep your head up...you can do it! You've made it this far!
Education and time will be your ticket out. As you said and already know, you have complicated your own life to the nth degree, so I won't go there. Things are what they are already.
Lay low. Go to school, or get your GED, or something. Get a part time job to save for the future while you are completing your education.
Its all well and good to fantasize about getting out, but look at the reality. Where will you go? How will you support yourself and Riley? How will you make a future for yourself, (i.e, get an education) working full time and parenting full time as you will have to do if you move out?
You have spoken about the baby's father in a less than fond manner before. Don't count on him to help, and please don't think about moving in with him even temporarily (not that you've ever mentioned that, but I wanted to cover that base).
Lay low, finish school, make plans for the future. Get through one day at a time. Don't **** off your mother so much that she won't help you. Right now, you can't support yourself. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
Lay low, keep the peace, finish school. That's the only mature and responsible plan that I see.
Lay low. Go to school, or get your GED, or something. Get a part time job to save for the future while you are completing your education.
Its all well and good to fantasize about getting out, but look at the reality. Where will you go? How will you support yourself and Riley? How will you make a future for yourself, (i.e, get an education) working full time and parenting full time as you will have to do if you move out?
You have spoken about the baby's father in a less than fond manner before. Don't count on him to help, and please don't think about moving in with him even temporarily (not that you've ever mentioned that, but I wanted to cover that base).
Lay low, finish school, make plans for the future. Get through one day at a time. Don't **** off your mother so much that she won't help you. Right now, you can't support yourself. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
Lay low, keep the peace, finish school. That's the only mature and responsible plan that I see.
I think you really need to do as Peek says, as much as it may seem the wrong plan right now...you need to use your intelligence to benefit yourself and Riley and that includes waiting it out. Don't fight, don't be hostile and be respectful of house rules. You have gotten yourself into a situation and this can go two ways...you can do the easy thing and dig yourself deeper into a mess or you can keep your head above it and know that you have to wait it out for a bit.
I do think you need some quidance. Someone you can visit on a regular basis who can help keep you grounded. You are at a very critical point in your life right now and I fear that if you don't have someone helping to guide you, you're going to become discouraged and lose hope. You need to continue your education, get your GED and get some college credits. You also need to work on getting your license and even a part time job to help get cash for transportation. If you can't do that right now, get a bus pass.
I know a lot of this is easier said than done! I know you want what's best for Riley. Well, best given the situation anyhow. Your home atmosphere is at least dysfunctional, but try with all your might not to contribute to the dysfunction. Fighting back will not help.
You have a hard road ahead, but it is a road worth taking and will pay off in the long run in so many ways but mostly for your son. Don't allow yourself to go where you know you don't want to be. Don't let it be an option. I follow your story and check often because I see so much potential in you and a desire to be something more. Don't lose that desire. Best wishes...and if you need any advice or need to talk, PM me. I was 17 when I got pregnant and moved out on my own. I've come a long way but it has been a bumpy road!
I do think you need some quidance. Someone you can visit on a regular basis who can help keep you grounded. You are at a very critical point in your life right now and I fear that if you don't have someone helping to guide you, you're going to become discouraged and lose hope. You need to continue your education, get your GED and get some college credits. You also need to work on getting your license and even a part time job to help get cash for transportation. If you can't do that right now, get a bus pass.
I know a lot of this is easier said than done! I know you want what's best for Riley. Well, best given the situation anyhow. Your home atmosphere is at least dysfunctional, but try with all your might not to contribute to the dysfunction. Fighting back will not help.
You have a hard road ahead, but it is a road worth taking and will pay off in the long run in so many ways but mostly for your son. Don't allow yourself to go where you know you don't want to be. Don't let it be an option. I follow your story and check often because I see so much potential in you and a desire to be something more. Don't lose that desire. Best wishes...and if you need any advice or need to talk, PM me. I was 17 when I got pregnant and moved out on my own. I've come a long way but it has been a bumpy road!
Your journals make me so sad for you and your son.
I agree with Peek ...lay low in the house. If s*** starts to fly....get out. Take the baby in a stroller and go for a walk. Anywhere...Somewhere.
You really need to finish school. You need to find some kind of part time job to make money and save. Even if it's a few hrs a day.
Go to a local church, women there can be very supportive. I know some churches are judgemental but not all.
Do you have a trusted teacher at your school...etc.
Of course you are not in the best situation for your son. But it's not physically harmful to him and unfortunately you don't make the best of it either. So your mother and step father can be aholes and immature. Don't by into it. Let them have their rant and ignore it. Don't fuel the flames....you don't have a choice but to suck it up.
Your son is young...make sure you get your s*** together before he's old enough to really see what is going on.
Finish school, get a job, then move out. The only way to prove your mom wrong with the c**p she says to you is to be a bigger and better person and mother than she is.
My mother was very hurtful with words growing up. I am not the mother she is. And she said to me now, how she can't believe how she was. And what kind of mother I turned into in spite of her.
She's very grateful that her grandchildren are loved and adored....and hear it.
I agree with Peek ...lay low in the house. If s*** starts to fly....get out. Take the baby in a stroller and go for a walk. Anywhere...Somewhere.
You really need to finish school. You need to find some kind of part time job to make money and save. Even if it's a few hrs a day.
Go to a local church, women there can be very supportive. I know some churches are judgemental but not all.
Do you have a trusted teacher at your school...etc.
Of course you are not in the best situation for your son. But it's not physically harmful to him and unfortunately you don't make the best of it either. So your mother and step father can be aholes and immature. Don't by into it. Let them have their rant and ignore it. Don't fuel the flames....you don't have a choice but to suck it up.
Your son is young...make sure you get your s*** together before he's old enough to really see what is going on.
Finish school, get a job, then move out. The only way to prove your mom wrong with the c**p she says to you is to be a bigger and better person and mother than she is.
My mother was very hurtful with words growing up. I am not the mother she is. And she said to me now, how she can't believe how she was. And what kind of mother I turned into in spite of her.
She's very grateful that her grandchildren are loved and adored....and hear it.
Do you get any financial assitance from the state? Welfare, WIC, etc. The same people should be able to help you with the other concerns.(if you do not already have those resourses contact social services in your area) Get your GED! Ask the welfare people to direct you to training programs. My sister (she lives in VA) had the government help her to get her GED. They also helped her into nursing school. Nursing is a great field, and you say in your profile you like to help people. If you have any interest in that, go for it! It is great pay, and lots of jobs. Now you may be thinking...oh...but I did not do too well in school. Forget that! Just because high school may not have been the best, does not mean you are stupid. The state has lots of different training programs available. They can give you a test that will see what your interest are, where you do best, and suggest a field that would be good for you. By the way, the same people can help your mom out with your brother. They can help her with coping skills, even some programs can "give her some time off" by providing care and entertainment for him to give her a break. Remember both you and your mother are under stress. The things you are saying to each other are most likely a result of stress. Good luck. Remember the programs are out there to help you. Have a positive attitude, and be kind to those who want to help and you will get ahead!
Hang in there.. it may seem like things are hopeless at times but they won't always be that way. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you seem to be very mature for 16. Get a plan together.. finish school and get help wherever you can find it ( wic, welfare, housing etc.) Don't cut ties with your mother in the end you are only hurting Riley... she may have not always been good to you but that is her grand child and you shouldnt let it affect his world...
Hello - You've received some v. good comments online regarding your situation so hopefully you'll take them into consideration and wishing you all the best fr. Kate & Oscar. Hang in and as the others said, try to get some assistance if you can, guidance for the future (counselor, spiritual director, good friend) and remember your mom / brother are family. It is hard, but blood is blood. Namiste, K&O Blessings to you & Riley - Vent anytime, that's why we have msg. boards out there. :-)
Keep in mind that whoever financially supports you will only do so with (arbitrary) conditions. If you contemplate moving away, carefully evaluate those conditions, because it may be that all you will just trade one set of negatives for another set of negatives.
Swampy thinks Peekwho is very wise, and has offered the correct long term view. You will need to advance your education so you'll be able to get a job. At first, you won't make much money but if you can be a reliable disciplined worker you'll meet people who will then help you to get better jobs.
Swampy thinks Peekwho is very wise, and has offered the correct long term view. You will need to advance your education so you'll be able to get a job. At first, you won't make much money but if you can be a reliable disciplined worker you'll meet people who will then help you to get better jobs.
Kelsey,
first off.... I posted this earlier in the Pregnant 35+ forum but it was deleted so I wanted to post over here too. Also, I am very sorry for the way you were treated there! I guess that was clearly a situation where you pick and choose the advice you are looking for and forget the rest!!
now...
I have lived about 77 miles from you in S.E. Ohio all of my life (36 yrs) and I can say that I have never heard of any case where a 16 yr old was allowed to be emancipated. If you really feel like your life or your child's life is in danger because of any circumstance (some may even consider emotional or verbal abuse) then you have the option of contacting a women's shelter if there are any there or perhaps a homeless shelter and they can give you some contact info that would be helpful. I'm sorry to say that even though you are now a parent yourself, you still must live by your parents or moms rules until you either turn 18 or somehow move out. I'm not sure if there is a women's or a homeless shelter there as the one here serves 9 counties. They are hard to find in Ohio for some reason.There are programs out there for young mothers in helping them to finish school, go to college and the whole while providing help with daycare for their children. You must finish school, that is the only way you can make sure that your children are provided for. Get a diploma, even if it is a GED or from homeschooling and go on to college! I did it at 18 with a daughter! You really seem very intelligent, I'm sure you will have no problem! My daughter started college before she even graduated from homeschool. Even if you don't know what you would like to do, you could still get your generals out of the way! Then go for your major.
How old is your brother by the way? Just asking because you ask why is he up at this hour? I am assuming he is still a very young child? And also, where is your bed, that he was 15 feet away?.. perhaps in another room only close by? I used to work with autistic children and I know how some can have their minds set on doing something regardless of the hour and no one will be able to talk them into going back to bed when they are up at certain hours when they should be in bed. Was he being loud or did he have the computer up loud?... because we have headphones for that reason! If someone wants to listen to something that no one else cares to hear then they have to put on the headphones!
I really do hope you find some resolve to this situation, I know how hard it is trying to raise a baby the best way you know how to begin with. And to add all these other people in there that like to fight and argue all the time forgetting that there is a new baby around, I can just imagine your thought process!
Good Luck Girl! I think you are going to need it!
Patty
first off.... I posted this earlier in the Pregnant 35+ forum but it was deleted so I wanted to post over here too. Also, I am very sorry for the way you were treated there! I guess that was clearly a situation where you pick and choose the advice you are looking for and forget the rest!!
now...
I have lived about 77 miles from you in S.E. Ohio all of my life (36 yrs) and I can say that I have never heard of any case where a 16 yr old was allowed to be emancipated. If you really feel like your life or your child's life is in danger because of any circumstance (some may even consider emotional or verbal abuse) then you have the option of contacting a women's shelter if there are any there or perhaps a homeless shelter and they can give you some contact info that would be helpful. I'm sorry to say that even though you are now a parent yourself, you still must live by your parents or moms rules until you either turn 18 or somehow move out. I'm not sure if there is a women's or a homeless shelter there as the one here serves 9 counties. They are hard to find in Ohio for some reason.There are programs out there for young mothers in helping them to finish school, go to college and the whole while providing help with daycare for their children. You must finish school, that is the only way you can make sure that your children are provided for. Get a diploma, even if it is a GED or from homeschooling and go on to college! I did it at 18 with a daughter! You really seem very intelligent, I'm sure you will have no problem! My daughter started college before she even graduated from homeschool. Even if you don't know what you would like to do, you could still get your generals out of the way! Then go for your major.
How old is your brother by the way? Just asking because you ask why is he up at this hour? I am assuming he is still a very young child? And also, where is your bed, that he was 15 feet away?.. perhaps in another room only close by? I used to work with autistic children and I know how some can have their minds set on doing something regardless of the hour and no one will be able to talk them into going back to bed when they are up at certain hours when they should be in bed. Was he being loud or did he have the computer up loud?... because we have headphones for that reason! If someone wants to listen to something that no one else cares to hear then they have to put on the headphones!
I really do hope you find some resolve to this situation, I know how hard it is trying to raise a baby the best way you know how to begin with. And to add all these other people in there that like to fight and argue all the time forgetting that there is a new baby around, I can just imagine your thought process!
Good Luck Girl! I think you are going to need it!
Patty
Kelsy,
I don't have children yet, so its hard for me to give you advice, but I am wondering if you and your mother/family couldn't get into some sort of counselling? I think at your age (even if you are the most mature 16 year old in the world), its got to be tough to be raising a baby, and that you need all the support you can get. Being on your own doesn't sound like the answer. You really need to finish your education, and get yourself into a completely independant situation, and thats going to take time, and I would think you are going to need help doing it. Even if your family won't get counselling, I strongly urge you to.
I posted most of this in your post at the 35+ forum, but as Patty mentioned, it was all deleted. I too feel badly about some of the things others said to you, but I guess thats all part of posting in a public forum, you are going to get all kinds of opinions, and need to take the ones that make sense to and/or work for you.
Anyway, I sincerly wish you good luck, and I really hope things work out well for you and your baby.
I don't have children yet, so its hard for me to give you advice, but I am wondering if you and your mother/family couldn't get into some sort of counselling? I think at your age (even if you are the most mature 16 year old in the world), its got to be tough to be raising a baby, and that you need all the support you can get. Being on your own doesn't sound like the answer. You really need to finish your education, and get yourself into a completely independant situation, and thats going to take time, and I would think you are going to need help doing it. Even if your family won't get counselling, I strongly urge you to.
I posted most of this in your post at the 35+ forum, but as Patty mentioned, it was all deleted. I too feel badly about some of the things others said to you, but I guess thats all part of posting in a public forum, you are going to get all kinds of opinions, and need to take the ones that make sense to and/or work for you.
Anyway, I sincerly wish you good luck, and I really hope things work out well for you and your baby.
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