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Help me please

Dec 26, 2007 - 4 comments
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children

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help me please

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help me

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playing games

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hard



My nephew is almost 3 and we feel he is being sexually abused.  My dad and his wife are staying with a man that abused me as a child.  He has been wetting the bed, playing "games" with the dolls, playing with himself until he is hard and won't stop, he has nightmares where he says he is scared of an ugly man, and he has also been playing with his "bottom" a lot.  I am most certainly concerned but we don't know how to ask him about it.  How do we find out who it is for sure?  I don't know what questions to ask to get an answer out of him.  We have asked where he has learned that game from (taking the dolls clothes off and getting on top of it) and he won't answer he just asks if he is going to get in trouble.  Of course we don't spank him or anything because we want to gain his trust for him to know that he can talk about it.  I don't want him growing up the way i did.  Please someone help me.  I need to know what to ask him.  Like certain words or how to phrase the question.

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by Sunny602, Dec 27, 2007
You need to take him to the doctor to be examined, please make sure that your suspicions are made clear to the doctor as well. It sounds like this kid could benefit from a psychologist that specializes in abuse, someone who is objective and can observe that little boy, ask him appropriate questions...a good doctor will refer you to one. Chances are if that man abused you as a child, then he probably hasn't stopped there. To me, your nephew is acting sexually inappropriate for his age (getting on top of undressed dolls)..does he also talk in that way  (refer to his parts in a very grown up way too?) That raises big red flags along with the other behavoir that you describe...Just reassure him that he won't get into trouble when you talk to him, that you won't hurt him. God, I will be thinking of you and that little boy...Sunny

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by penskegib, Jan 08, 2008
I also agree with Sunny602, definetly take him to a doctor and let him be examined right away.  God bless you and I hope you get the help you need....Debbie

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by shannonf_bc, Oct 30, 2008

Even without any past history on the person involved your observations are a valid reason for concern.... I don`t know how things work where you are but if the same problem was here I would call the childrens aid society and report it.... if this poor little guy is truly being abused he needs to be removed from that situation immediately.  I know that alot of people don`t like to report these types of things right off without being sure.  But not reporting it endangers the child needlessly.  If it was my nephew I would report it (yes I could be wrong and my family might get very angry, but I would rather risk that then risk being right and not having reported it)

*If you won`t do that do this*
He might not ever tell you.... take him to your md.... have someone else watch him in the waiting room even if it`s a nurse or receptionist.... That way you can talk to the doctor without the child present to hear.

There are therapists that better know how to find out... and your doctor may be able to tell (depending on type of abuse, if something`s wrong)



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by shannonf_bc, Oct 30, 2008
opps just noticed the date I would assume this has already been dealt with

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