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Day 45 again! Tramadol Withdrawal. Cold Turkey.
Aug 03, 2008 09:44PM
- 388 comments
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I need more! More information!
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_bad_is_Tramadol_withdrawal
Question - How bad is Tramadol WIthdrawal?
Answer - Ultram (Tramadol) Withdrawal
Tramadol is highly addictive. Normally your doctor would reduce intake slowly. Various withdrawal effects may include shakes, shivers, diarrhea, nausea, and possible flu-like symptoms. Not all people experience will all withdrawal symptoms, and some people may experience others not listed here.
The length of time withdrawal symptoms occur can range from a couple of days to weeks depending on how high your dose was and how long you were on the drug. Withdrawal symptoms can be reduced by discontinuing use of the drug slowly (i.e., gradually reducing the daily dose).
Tramadol is more complex than other opiate and opiate-like medications because it also appears to have actions on the GABAergic, noradrenergic, and serotonergic systems in the brain. This may cause some people feel additional withdrawal symptoms or intensified psychological withdrawal symptoms when discontinuing tramadol.
It is always advised to talk with your doctor before and while discontinuing this medication.
_______________________________________________________________
Yeah. Not my fault that I had to snicker at the last line there because every time I talked to my Doctors (plural) about medications and side effects they told me that Tramadol was NOT the problem. Then there was usually another drug put on top of that Tramadol. And they told me to take more. I always thought it was the other drug, not the Tramadol. Yeah. I was wrong.
It makes me very angry that these Doctors know and aren't telling people. I don't believe that they are ignorant. I've been over and over it again and again. It makes no sense that I would know more as a user of the drug than they would. There's so little on Tramadol or Ultram on the web. Tons on other drugs.
Ok so the most alarming part of the Tramadol we would think would be the fact that it is a synthetic opiate. It's a Narcotic. It's just been slipped thru the schedule.
The Opiate aspect of Tramadol is why if you google,"Home Opiate Withdrawal," the techniques found there actually do work!
But that's not the most alarming part of Tramadol in my case. In my case the antidepressant that they tacked on to the cocktail is the thing that causes all the rough psychological and mental symptoms.
It's a Two Fer One!
I've been feeling like I was going crazy for a long time. And in addition to that; the scary suicidal ideation. The suicidal ideation vanished and returns ONLY if I get a flare up of withdrawal symptoms. That happens if I get over stressed. So i need some coping mechanisms.
At the moment; "I am STILL ALVE!?" Is a pretty good coping mechanism! :)
Love and healing,
Emily
PS. No Tramadol Withdrawal symptoms today .... :) YAY!
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_bad_is_Tramadol_withdrawal
Question - How bad is Tramadol WIthdrawal?
Answer - Ultram (Tramadol) Withdrawal
Tramadol is highly addictive. Normally your doctor would reduce intake slowly. Various withdrawal effects may include shakes, shivers, diarrhea, nausea, and possible flu-like symptoms. Not all people experience will all withdrawal symptoms, and some people may experience others not listed here.
The length of time withdrawal symptoms occur can range from a couple of days to weeks depending on how high your dose was and how long you were on the drug. Withdrawal symptoms can be reduced by discontinuing use of the drug slowly (i.e., gradually reducing the daily dose).
Tramadol is more complex than other opiate and opiate-like medications because it also appears to have actions on the GABAergic, noradrenergic, and serotonergic systems in the brain. This may cause some people feel additional withdrawal symptoms or intensified psychological withdrawal symptoms when discontinuing tramadol.
It is always advised to talk with your doctor before and while discontinuing this medication.
_______________________________________________________________
Yeah. Not my fault that I had to snicker at the last line there because every time I talked to my Doctors (plural) about medications and side effects they told me that Tramadol was NOT the problem. Then there was usually another drug put on top of that Tramadol. And they told me to take more. I always thought it was the other drug, not the Tramadol. Yeah. I was wrong.
It makes me very angry that these Doctors know and aren't telling people. I don't believe that they are ignorant. I've been over and over it again and again. It makes no sense that I would know more as a user of the drug than they would. There's so little on Tramadol or Ultram on the web. Tons on other drugs.
Ok so the most alarming part of the Tramadol we would think would be the fact that it is a synthetic opiate. It's a Narcotic. It's just been slipped thru the schedule.
The Opiate aspect of Tramadol is why if you google,"Home Opiate Withdrawal," the techniques found there actually do work!
But that's not the most alarming part of Tramadol in my case. In my case the antidepressant that they tacked on to the cocktail is the thing that causes all the rough psychological and mental symptoms.
It's a Two Fer One!
I've been feeling like I was going crazy for a long time. And in addition to that; the scary suicidal ideation. The suicidal ideation vanished and returns ONLY if I get a flare up of withdrawal symptoms. That happens if I get over stressed. So i need some coping mechanisms.
At the moment; "I am STILL ALVE!?" Is a pretty good coping mechanism! :)
Love and healing,
Emily
PS. No Tramadol Withdrawal symptoms today .... :) YAY!
Thanks for your compliments guys :)
Seekingbetterdays I remember that "all I want to do is feel normal again" mood during withdrawal. In fact, day 1 of withdrawal I can recall laying on my bathroom floor and in between puking and diarrhea I would just say that over and over to myself. "I just want normal, I need normal". Its painful but normalcy is just around the corner for you. I think of the tramadol withdrawal as a veil pulled over your mind that prevents you from seeing life as you once did. For me the veil is removed but I still notice certain things about my life that are different than they once were. I'm not as physically laid back as I used to be and it is still more difficult to sit down and organize thoughts but each day is a noticed improvement=]. Its pretty amazing to believe people can go through things like this and it not be common knowledge that tramadol is an ineffective and dangerous drug. I guess its the peer pressure of everyone thinks its great so its probably just me. The withdrawal for me was one of the hardest battles in my life because no one was really watching and no one cared. Its easy to get through things with support but when your on your own its depressing like family members, doctors, and friends all think its something else when it isn't.
Emily, I'm glad no withdrawal symptoms yay! Now you will most likely be at that phase for a few weeks where you feel normal but certain things are just slightly off and different than they used to be. I understand this can last for a bit but it does go away which is great=]. Keep taking those vitamins and niacin! They help alot or at least they did with me and yeah protein is great too. Two for one on the tramadol yeah haha. They slip that little antidepressant in there when no one is looking. Before I knew there was one in there during withdrawal I had my suspicions because Ive seen people go through withdrawal from zoloft and xanax and they had those suicidal thoughts which were like mine, nothing was right in the world and my dad kept telling me to snap out of it. A doctor telling someone to "snap out of depression" yeah because thats how it works-.-. I wish there was some way to get the word out to other people who are taking this stuff but who would listen to some 19 yr old kid over their doctor right?=p
Always,
Paul
Seekingbetterdays I remember that "all I want to do is feel normal again" mood during withdrawal. In fact, day 1 of withdrawal I can recall laying on my bathroom floor and in between puking and diarrhea I would just say that over and over to myself. "I just want normal, I need normal". Its painful but normalcy is just around the corner for you. I think of the tramadol withdrawal as a veil pulled over your mind that prevents you from seeing life as you once did. For me the veil is removed but I still notice certain things about my life that are different than they once were. I'm not as physically laid back as I used to be and it is still more difficult to sit down and organize thoughts but each day is a noticed improvement=]. Its pretty amazing to believe people can go through things like this and it not be common knowledge that tramadol is an ineffective and dangerous drug. I guess its the peer pressure of everyone thinks its great so its probably just me. The withdrawal for me was one of the hardest battles in my life because no one was really watching and no one cared. Its easy to get through things with support but when your on your own its depressing like family members, doctors, and friends all think its something else when it isn't.
Emily, I'm glad no withdrawal symptoms yay! Now you will most likely be at that phase for a few weeks where you feel normal but certain things are just slightly off and different than they used to be. I understand this can last for a bit but it does go away which is great=]. Keep taking those vitamins and niacin! They help alot or at least they did with me and yeah protein is great too. Two for one on the tramadol yeah haha. They slip that little antidepressant in there when no one is looking. Before I knew there was one in there during withdrawal I had my suspicions because Ive seen people go through withdrawal from zoloft and xanax and they had those suicidal thoughts which were like mine, nothing was right in the world and my dad kept telling me to snap out of it. A doctor telling someone to "snap out of depression" yeah because thats how it works-.-. I wish there was some way to get the word out to other people who are taking this stuff but who would listen to some 19 yr old kid over their doctor right?=p
Always,
Paul
Wow Plamp you so nailed it on the early withdrawal description. I remember being too tired to even go get water. Profound disability in Days 1-4. And I also agree that it is like a veil. It slowly gets lifted. Problem is, the longer you used it, the more randomly the withdrawal symptoms float back upon you.
And I think I figured out why. It's not acting on all the neurons in the brain at once, which is why they can call it an analgesic.
That means that as you come off, the randomness of the way it effects the brain, will create random side effects. Always to a lesser degree but there's an intensity in Tramadol withdrawal from the antidepressant that assures you (Drug Voice) that you are surely going to die this time from it.
In fact my research is only showing me that people are having seizures while ON the Tramadol. Or Ultram. Not while withdrawing. I can't find anything about Tramadol Seizures during withdrawal, only when the person is actively taking it and boosts their dose.
You wrote to SeekingBetterDays, "Its pretty amazing to believe people can go through things like this and it not be common knowledge that Tramadol is an ineffective and dangerous drug."
It's pretty hard to argue with a Doctor who insists it is safe. When we're in early withdrawal, it is sometimes against the wishes of our Docs. Like with me. I was done. I didn't tell the Doctor. Why bother? He's just going to tell me to stay on it, or that it is safe, or that I won't have any withdrawal. And eventually Tramadol is effective at making one crazy and creating greater pain! LOL! Ahhhh the dark humor returns! (It was a joke)
You also write, "I guess its the peer pressure of everyone thinks its great so its probably just me. The withdrawal for me was one of the hardest battles in my life because no one was really watching and no one cared."
We cared, truly. I do actually care about anyone who comes on here in unbearable early withdrawal. I don't care why they are on it, how they got it, they have my empathy 100%. Anyone who kicks pills of any kind has my empathy. Addiction is addiction. Arguing about who has it worst is kinda pointless. It's pain. Pain is pain.
For me, taking Tramadol would never have happened if I had known an antidepressant was thrown in there. That was an Executive Decision made for me by Doctors. I don't appreciate it. And given my History, they should have known better. Also I think arguing about whose responsibility it is pretty silly when you have Doctors feeling free to make Executive Decisions. That would be me arguing with a five star General. Get my drift? :)
I will also say that my response to what you wrote here, "I wish there was some way to get the word out to other people who are taking this stuff but who would listen to some 19 yr old kid over their doctor right?" is very profound. I thought alot about that.
You speak with TRUTH my friend. You know truth is the most powerful force. You are also very kind and speak with love. So, your message will be found by the people who are looking for it. They have to look for it. But once they find it here ... they won't be able to forget. Truth rings true and it echoes.
You write, "Two for one on the Tramadol yeah haha. They slip that little antidepressant in there when no one is looking. Before I knew there was one in there during withdrawal I had my suspicions because Ive seen people go through withdrawal from zoloft and xanax and they had those suicidal thoughts which were like mine, nothing was right in the world and my dad kept telling me to snap out of it. A doctor telling someone to "snap out of depression" yeah because thats how it works-.-. "
It is very alarming that there's an antidepressant in Tramadol. You say all of it so perfectly.
Your Father. *stares at ground.* I have relatives and friends who have been thru clinical depression. Telling them to "snap out of it," would be like telling them to heal their cancer with their minds. It would be like telling a car accident victim to "Walk it Off."
I'm really sorry that the only people who can and do understand Tramadol withdrawal are those of us who got on it, and then had to fight off the viscous dogs from H-E double toothpicks that is Trammie Withdrawal. But mean, we understand!!! On a cellular level we understand!
I remember in early withdrawal barely being able to see the screen! Much less have it stay level ... it was waving around, the words focusing in and out!
I'm staying on the Vitamins. Today, I got tons of sleep. It's my day off. It felt sooo nice to sleep. I wish I had more energy. But I don't. So I will ration what I have on what is important to get e thru this next work week. I am still taking it one day at a time.
Love and healing,
Emily
And I think I figured out why. It's not acting on all the neurons in the brain at once, which is why they can call it an analgesic.
That means that as you come off, the randomness of the way it effects the brain, will create random side effects. Always to a lesser degree but there's an intensity in Tramadol withdrawal from the antidepressant that assures you (Drug Voice) that you are surely going to die this time from it.
In fact my research is only showing me that people are having seizures while ON the Tramadol. Or Ultram. Not while withdrawing. I can't find anything about Tramadol Seizures during withdrawal, only when the person is actively taking it and boosts their dose.
You wrote to SeekingBetterDays, "Its pretty amazing to believe people can go through things like this and it not be common knowledge that Tramadol is an ineffective and dangerous drug."
It's pretty hard to argue with a Doctor who insists it is safe. When we're in early withdrawal, it is sometimes against the wishes of our Docs. Like with me. I was done. I didn't tell the Doctor. Why bother? He's just going to tell me to stay on it, or that it is safe, or that I won't have any withdrawal. And eventually Tramadol is effective at making one crazy and creating greater pain! LOL! Ahhhh the dark humor returns! (It was a joke)
You also write, "I guess its the peer pressure of everyone thinks its great so its probably just me. The withdrawal for me was one of the hardest battles in my life because no one was really watching and no one cared."
We cared, truly. I do actually care about anyone who comes on here in unbearable early withdrawal. I don't care why they are on it, how they got it, they have my empathy 100%. Anyone who kicks pills of any kind has my empathy. Addiction is addiction. Arguing about who has it worst is kinda pointless. It's pain. Pain is pain.
For me, taking Tramadol would never have happened if I had known an antidepressant was thrown in there. That was an Executive Decision made for me by Doctors. I don't appreciate it. And given my History, they should have known better. Also I think arguing about whose responsibility it is pretty silly when you have Doctors feeling free to make Executive Decisions. That would be me arguing with a five star General. Get my drift? :)
I will also say that my response to what you wrote here, "I wish there was some way to get the word out to other people who are taking this stuff but who would listen to some 19 yr old kid over their doctor right?" is very profound. I thought alot about that.
You speak with TRUTH my friend. You know truth is the most powerful force. You are also very kind and speak with love. So, your message will be found by the people who are looking for it. They have to look for it. But once they find it here ... they won't be able to forget. Truth rings true and it echoes.
You write, "Two for one on the Tramadol yeah haha. They slip that little antidepressant in there when no one is looking. Before I knew there was one in there during withdrawal I had my suspicions because Ive seen people go through withdrawal from zoloft and xanax and they had those suicidal thoughts which were like mine, nothing was right in the world and my dad kept telling me to snap out of it. A doctor telling someone to "snap out of depression" yeah because thats how it works-.-. "
It is very alarming that there's an antidepressant in Tramadol. You say all of it so perfectly.
Your Father. *stares at ground.* I have relatives and friends who have been thru clinical depression. Telling them to "snap out of it," would be like telling them to heal their cancer with their minds. It would be like telling a car accident victim to "Walk it Off."
I'm really sorry that the only people who can and do understand Tramadol withdrawal are those of us who got on it, and then had to fight off the viscous dogs from H-E double toothpicks that is Trammie Withdrawal. But mean, we understand!!! On a cellular level we understand!
I remember in early withdrawal barely being able to see the screen! Much less have it stay level ... it was waving around, the words focusing in and out!
I'm staying on the Vitamins. Today, I got tons of sleep. It's my day off. It felt sooo nice to sleep. I wish I had more energy. But I don't. So I will ration what I have on what is important to get e thru this next work week. I am still taking it one day at a time.
Love and healing,
Emily
What is the Thomas Method do tell? I am weaning off Tramadol as we speak and feeling a little anxious today. I am down to one a day from about 6-8 (100mg tabs) for about 3 years. I have weaned myself for the past 2 months and hope one more week or two at the most. It is hard but I do not want it anymore. If I had no anxiety or lack of concentration I would not take it at all! I feel mentally I do not need it but physically is different. Is there anything that makes your symptoms better? I have been supplementing with other pills like vitamins ibuprofen and some over the counter energy pills. Anything that helps that is NOT adicting I will take for now. Are you completely done or are you still taking some? I am 38 as well. Thanks Amber
Hello EP,
How do we know when it ends?
I find myself thinking about that a lot. When will we know we are back to "normal" and what exactly is "normal"? Will I know it when I get there?
I'm better -- much better -- but still not well enough to lauch an offensive. You know -- the kind you plan and execute at work to stay competitive with your business. My mind seems willing, but the body is weak.
Two good days were followed by total "energy decompression" this afternoon for about 4 hours. Of course all gone now. Not tired at all. Unfortunately it's close to midnight and I NEED to be tired.
That's a dirty little trick of the Devil pill, isn't it?
You wrote "I have relatives and friends who have been thru clinical depression. Telling them to "snap out of it," would be like telling them to heal their cancer with their minds. It would be like telling a car accident victim to "Walk it Off."
That is INSANE, isn't it. Yet people actually say that silly stuff.
Like you, my relapse seems random, although I find myself searching for a pattern. The good news -- Tramadol no longer rules me -- I do. It's a great feeling. I'll suffer a bit longer I'm sure, but it's already worth it.
--------------------------
Amberwave:
Very good going on the taper. I don't know where you get the willpower. It's a great way to go if you can -- and its apparent you can!! You got me beat, I could not do it so resorted to my only hope -- COLD TURKEY (Day 22).
Hang it there - given your obvious determination with that taper, you can go all the way!!!!
How do we know when it ends?
I find myself thinking about that a lot. When will we know we are back to "normal" and what exactly is "normal"? Will I know it when I get there?
I'm better -- much better -- but still not well enough to lauch an offensive. You know -- the kind you plan and execute at work to stay competitive with your business. My mind seems willing, but the body is weak.
Two good days were followed by total "energy decompression" this afternoon for about 4 hours. Of course all gone now. Not tired at all. Unfortunately it's close to midnight and I NEED to be tired.
That's a dirty little trick of the Devil pill, isn't it?
You wrote "I have relatives and friends who have been thru clinical depression. Telling them to "snap out of it," would be like telling them to heal their cancer with their minds. It would be like telling a car accident victim to "Walk it Off."
That is INSANE, isn't it. Yet people actually say that silly stuff.
Like you, my relapse seems random, although I find myself searching for a pattern. The good news -- Tramadol no longer rules me -- I do. It's a great feeling. I'll suffer a bit longer I'm sure, but it's already worth it.
--------------------------
Amberwave:
Very good going on the taper. I don't know where you get the willpower. It's a great way to go if you can -- and its apparent you can!! You got me beat, I could not do it so resorted to my only hope -- COLD TURKEY (Day 22).
Hang it there - given your obvious determination with that taper, you can go all the way!!!!
Seeking Better Days;
Yep. No kidding it is RANDOM. It is following a pattern. According to the New Math; RANDOM is a pattern! LOL!
But seriously, I understand. I had several great days and then last night at 4am, pain woke me up. Complete with some shaking, some dizziness and physical clumsiness and the "dirty sweat" I get from the withdrawal. It feels like sweating in dust. When the sweat sticks to you cause of the dust, and immediately dries cause of the heat. Completely freaked me out.
Woke up all the way (That's a KEY) ... got out of bed, got ice packs, magnesium, anti histamine (Tylenol PM generic) ... Felt again like the brain surgery was upon me.
You ask me, How do we know when it ends?
Well, the two of us are the LUCKIEST people because we're NOT craving it.
That's how we know it will eventually end. It's in a certain way, already at an end. It's just CLAWING in a panic. It knows it is done, but hopes to convince you that you are too "tired."
After almost what? 47? Days I'm tired. And when w/d pain returns, I have to remind myself of what it is. I can't exactly think that after 5 years of use it's going to give up that easily right?
The randomness is explained by The Golden 1, whom I think might be a member here still? I found this by Googling Ultram or Tramadol Detox ...
She/He writes;
___________________________________________________________________
THIS IS THE LONG ANSWER;
____________________________________________________________________
Re: tramadol addiction
Posted By: theGolden1
Date: Sunday, 25 September 2005, at 10:54 p.m.
In Response To: tramadol addiction (liltat2)
> hi there, i'm new here...i'm a 40 year old
> female that has been taking tramadol for
> over 10 years...after 2 back surgeries i was
> taken off vicodin and given tramadol. i
> found that to be immediatly addictive...and
> have found different excuses to get the
> drug...recently i ran out and could not find
> any and had a grand mall seizure...that is
> when i decided that enough is enough...ya
> right...i cant seem to get off this
> ****...my husband has control of the stuff
> and gives me some accordingly...but it seems
> the more i try the harder it gets...i have
> taken up to 15 at a time but normally i take
> 7 or 8 at a time...about 25 or 30 a
> day....PLEASE HELP...is there anything i can
> do or take to help relieve these withdrawl
> symptoms? if it wasn't for the withdrawl. i
> know i would quit alot sooner...someone told
> my husband that clonapin (spelled wrong, not
> sure of correct spelling) will help...does
> anyone know? and does anyone have ANY
> ADVICE? PLEASE HELP!!! SUSAN
Dear Susan, I feel your pain. This is a common occurrance. The first year I took one pill a day and it worked just fine. Four years later I needed 5 pills a day. I took 3 every morning just to feel normal. Dazz is right about tapering. I do think you will need to add your crossover medication before you are completely off of tramadol. I would seriously plan to be on another medication for a year or so. Just don't panic. Little by little, you will take back your life. It took 10 years to get here, so be patient and you will succeed. Slow and steady wins the race.
Getting off high doses of this stuff requires the utmost care. Tramadol stays in your system a long time. I don't care who disagrees with me. Tramadol builds up and the antidepressant part of it lasts along time. The painkiller part of tramadol targets the brain receptors in a "random" fashion. Off again, on again, here and there. Unlike a real opiate that binds to ALL the receptors at once. That is why tramadol is labeled an analgesic and not a narcotic. That is also why ANY opiate can be used in much smaller doses to get off tramadol. That would also include methadone and suboxone. I know a person that used darvon and successfully got off tramadol. The problem is that you must be on the crossover drug for at least a month, and then you would have to detox from that. In your case I would not detox for a few months. I would also be in under a doctor's care. This drug gets into your mind and makes you believe that you need it.
After a whole year, I actually considered taking it again ..... I'm so glad I didn't do it. Ultram .. the big lie.
Stick close, there is help and support here ...Goldie
ps: don't forget to pray
_________________________________________________________________
SHORT ANSWER;
I yanked that off the Internet because of the sentences ...
"Getting off high doses of this stuff requires the utmost care. Tramadol stays in your system a long time. I don't care who disagrees with me. Tramadol builds up and the antidepressant part of it lasts along time. The painkiller part of tramadol targets the brain receptors in a "random" fashion. Off again, on again, here and there. Unlike a real opiate that binds to ALL the receptors at once. That is why tramadol is labeled an analgesic and not a narcotic."
-Goldie
_________________________________________________________________
So our experience follows the physical pattern of the way the drug effects us when we are still on it. As we withdraw, it is also random. Which is a pattern humans hate.
I'm going to get better. You are going to get better.
You aren't planning in taking anymore of the Devi;'s Pill right? Neither am I!!
The mornings are sometimes VERY BAD. Sometimes they are not. This morning? IT WAS HORRID. But now it is almost 1pm. And I am pulling out of it. Will it return? Maybe? Maybe not. I have no idea. I know it's gone now. I couldn't have even written this post earlier than this. Too much brain fog.
I mean if there's one thing that the SHELLING does ... it makes you lay low. It sorta teaches you in the roughest way possible to lay LOW and wait it out. When I first started here, a member wrote a post up on the general addiction board. I refer to it often. I hope he doesn't mind me repeating it here! This one of the most Effective Tools I have used in my withdrawal. I believe this with all my heart.
________________________________
Many people need to wrap their minds around this:
by CadillacJack
Jun 28, 2008 07:46PM
This being afraid of withdrawals, and buckling under because of that fear of discomfort needs some mind control conditioning.
I'm not saying it's easy.
But look at quitting exactly like this: It's WAR.
Fear on the battlefield will get you dead, if you can't control it.
The truth is, fear and anger are similar emotions. It's not very hard to condition yourself to turn fear into anger, and in the case of quitting drugs, you should do so.
Opiates may not be as immediately serious as bullets & shrapnel, but, nevertheless, the same mind set applies; survival. I'd rather have a chunk of lead than a bucket of opiates to go out with. Think about this. Logic will tell you this is true. Fear is your enemy in the forum of quitting substances. Anger at using, or the substance itself, will serve you much better. Anger will give you strength. Fear will rob you of it. Get mad, and go to war.
cj
_______________________________________________________________
Hope this helps you SeekingBetterDays ...
I know you being here surely does help me!
Love and healing,
Emily
Yep. No kidding it is RANDOM. It is following a pattern. According to the New Math; RANDOM is a pattern! LOL!
But seriously, I understand. I had several great days and then last night at 4am, pain woke me up. Complete with some shaking, some dizziness and physical clumsiness and the "dirty sweat" I get from the withdrawal. It feels like sweating in dust. When the sweat sticks to you cause of the dust, and immediately dries cause of the heat. Completely freaked me out.
Woke up all the way (That's a KEY) ... got out of bed, got ice packs, magnesium, anti histamine (Tylenol PM generic) ... Felt again like the brain surgery was upon me.
You ask me, How do we know when it ends?
Well, the two of us are the LUCKIEST people because we're NOT craving it.
That's how we know it will eventually end. It's in a certain way, already at an end. It's just CLAWING in a panic. It knows it is done, but hopes to convince you that you are too "tired."
After almost what? 47? Days I'm tired. And when w/d pain returns, I have to remind myself of what it is. I can't exactly think that after 5 years of use it's going to give up that easily right?
The randomness is explained by The Golden 1, whom I think might be a member here still? I found this by Googling Ultram or Tramadol Detox ...
She/He writes;
___________________________________________________________________
THIS IS THE LONG ANSWER;
____________________________________________________________________
Re: tramadol addiction
Posted By: theGolden1
Date: Sunday, 25 September 2005, at 10:54 p.m.
In Response To: tramadol addiction (liltat2)
> hi there, i'm new here...i'm a 40 year old
> female that has been taking tramadol for
> over 10 years...after 2 back surgeries i was
> taken off vicodin and given tramadol. i
> found that to be immediatly addictive...and
> have found different excuses to get the
> drug...recently i ran out and could not find
> any and had a grand mall seizure...that is
> when i decided that enough is enough...ya
> right...i cant seem to get off this
> ****...my husband has control of the stuff
> and gives me some accordingly...but it seems
> the more i try the harder it gets...i have
> taken up to 15 at a time but normally i take
> 7 or 8 at a time...about 25 or 30 a
> day....PLEASE HELP...is there anything i can
> do or take to help relieve these withdrawl
> symptoms? if it wasn't for the withdrawl. i
> know i would quit alot sooner...someone told
> my husband that clonapin (spelled wrong, not
> sure of correct spelling) will help...does
> anyone know? and does anyone have ANY
> ADVICE? PLEASE HELP!!! SUSAN
Dear Susan, I feel your pain. This is a common occurrance. The first year I took one pill a day and it worked just fine. Four years later I needed 5 pills a day. I took 3 every morning just to feel normal. Dazz is right about tapering. I do think you will need to add your crossover medication before you are completely off of tramadol. I would seriously plan to be on another medication for a year or so. Just don't panic. Little by little, you will take back your life. It took 10 years to get here, so be patient and you will succeed. Slow and steady wins the race.
Getting off high doses of this stuff requires the utmost care. Tramadol stays in your system a long time. I don't care who disagrees with me. Tramadol builds up and the antidepressant part of it lasts along time. The painkiller part of tramadol targets the brain receptors in a "random" fashion. Off again, on again, here and there. Unlike a real opiate that binds to ALL the receptors at once. That is why tramadol is labeled an analgesic and not a narcotic. That is also why ANY opiate can be used in much smaller doses to get off tramadol. That would also include methadone and suboxone. I know a person that used darvon and successfully got off tramadol. The problem is that you must be on the crossover drug for at least a month, and then you would have to detox from that. In your case I would not detox for a few months. I would also be in under a doctor's care. This drug gets into your mind and makes you believe that you need it.
After a whole year, I actually considered taking it again ..... I'm so glad I didn't do it. Ultram .. the big lie.
Stick close, there is help and support here ...Goldie
ps: don't forget to pray
_________________________________________________________________
SHORT ANSWER;
I yanked that off the Internet because of the sentences ...
"Getting off high doses of this stuff requires the utmost care. Tramadol stays in your system a long time. I don't care who disagrees with me. Tramadol builds up and the antidepressant part of it lasts along time. The painkiller part of tramadol targets the brain receptors in a "random" fashion. Off again, on again, here and there. Unlike a real opiate that binds to ALL the receptors at once. That is why tramadol is labeled an analgesic and not a narcotic."
-Goldie
_________________________________________________________________
So our experience follows the physical pattern of the way the drug effects us when we are still on it. As we withdraw, it is also random. Which is a pattern humans hate.
I'm going to get better. You are going to get better.
You aren't planning in taking anymore of the Devi;'s Pill right? Neither am I!!
The mornings are sometimes VERY BAD. Sometimes they are not. This morning? IT WAS HORRID. But now it is almost 1pm. And I am pulling out of it. Will it return? Maybe? Maybe not. I have no idea. I know it's gone now. I couldn't have even written this post earlier than this. Too much brain fog.
I mean if there's one thing that the SHELLING does ... it makes you lay low. It sorta teaches you in the roughest way possible to lay LOW and wait it out. When I first started here, a member wrote a post up on the general addiction board. I refer to it often. I hope he doesn't mind me repeating it here! This one of the most Effective Tools I have used in my withdrawal. I believe this with all my heart.
________________________________
Many people need to wrap their minds around this:
by CadillacJack
Jun 28, 2008 07:46PM
This being afraid of withdrawals, and buckling under because of that fear of discomfort needs some mind control conditioning.
I'm not saying it's easy.
But look at quitting exactly like this: It's WAR.
Fear on the battlefield will get you dead, if you can't control it.
The truth is, fear and anger are similar emotions. It's not very hard to condition yourself to turn fear into anger, and in the case of quitting drugs, you should do so.
Opiates may not be as immediately serious as bullets & shrapnel, but, nevertheless, the same mind set applies; survival. I'd rather have a chunk of lead than a bucket of opiates to go out with. Think about this. Logic will tell you this is true. Fear is your enemy in the forum of quitting substances. Anger at using, or the substance itself, will serve you much better. Anger will give you strength. Fear will rob you of it. Get mad, and go to war.
cj
_______________________________________________________________
Hope this helps you SeekingBetterDays ...
I know you being here surely does help me!
Love and healing,
Emily
Hi Amber,
Congrats on your slow taper. Good for you. I did a much faster taper, basically not very scientific. "Run Out Of Pills," was my method. I actually feel like I am not sure if it is better to taper or jump off into cold turkey. But for me, it's kinda a moot point.
I haven't had any Tramadol in 47 days now. I believe my "taper" from 6-8-10? (I forget) was done in about three weeks. Maybe two. It was fast.
I don't know why you are on it exactly. I was on it for "chronic pain," due to a car accident. Funny, but the pain vanished after I stopped taking it. During the heavy withdrawal I would get spikes of pain. But I think that's just the Tramadol trying to get me to take more. Unlike many; I do NOT have a craving for more Tramadol. Thank Goodness! I would rather eat rat poison.
I used to think that Tramadol increased my energy and my concentration. I also used to think it helped my pain. Turns out I was mistaken.
Once a drug turns on you, it does the exact opposite of what it is supposed to do. Again; in my experience.
Anything that makes it easier? Well, you have the right attitude which is, "I don't want it anymore."
Shifting into planning mode would be good. Getting the house stocked up with fresh easy to prep foods (there's a list on Day 33 of good foods to increase dopamine) and water with lots and lots of vitamins. I had to use powered vitamins in my water, or I would throw up. That happened for awhile. Til I figured out how to get them down and keep em there.
You need a heating pad, a bunch of ice packs if you have pain. You need sublingual B-12 tablets. Honey also works VERY well to get you moving if you have to. If you CAN; PLEASE take at least 7 straight days off. You can make it on 5 ... but that will SUCK so badly. I had to tell alot of lies, people think all kinds of odd things have happened to me in the last 47 days. But, it was necessary and it got me off the Tramadol.
And over the counter pain killers worked well for me. I used and still use Excedrin Migraine in the morning cause of the caffeine. I HAVE to get to work, and the mornings are the worst for me. So I need to wake up earlier than usual cause I move slowly in the morning. At night I'll use an antihistamine or Tylenol PM or Excedrin PM. Magnesium and Calcium helps sleep. Wrapping your limbs helps if you have weird limb pain. You can Google "Home Opiate Detox" and it'll give you some ideas. Obviously some good and some annoyingly bad! LOL!
Hot baths and showers are a huge part of the Thomas Recipe aka The Thomas Detox. Who is Thomas? He's the guy who should be all dead from all the drugs he's taken over the years and this is his method of Home Detox. I used it. It works. I used Batherapy bath salts. I used them in the shower when running a bath seemed impossible. Used them as a scrub. Skin being the largest organ and all that.
Here's a cut and paste of the Thomas Recipe for you Amber ..
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66
Here's protocol on amino acids
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Amino-Acid-Protocol/show/15?cid=66
Here's PAWS; Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome;
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/PAWS-part-1/show/39?cid=66
It's alot of reading, but you'll find it useful.
Most people say 4-5 day max once you jump off (stop taking the pills) before you feel ok. Mine was 4 days. It was like the worst flu ever combined with a migraine and a full on psychological attack. But; I can do 4 days and so can you! You may have it easier even! You have been on two less years and you tapered slow. So that's great!
Good luck! Let us know when you need our help ok?
Love and healing,
Emily
Congrats on your slow taper. Good for you. I did a much faster taper, basically not very scientific. "Run Out Of Pills," was my method. I actually feel like I am not sure if it is better to taper or jump off into cold turkey. But for me, it's kinda a moot point.
I haven't had any Tramadol in 47 days now. I believe my "taper" from 6-8-10? (I forget) was done in about three weeks. Maybe two. It was fast.
I don't know why you are on it exactly. I was on it for "chronic pain," due to a car accident. Funny, but the pain vanished after I stopped taking it. During the heavy withdrawal I would get spikes of pain. But I think that's just the Tramadol trying to get me to take more. Unlike many; I do NOT have a craving for more Tramadol. Thank Goodness! I would rather eat rat poison.
I used to think that Tramadol increased my energy and my concentration. I also used to think it helped my pain. Turns out I was mistaken.
Once a drug turns on you, it does the exact opposite of what it is supposed to do. Again; in my experience.
Anything that makes it easier? Well, you have the right attitude which is, "I don't want it anymore."
Shifting into planning mode would be good. Getting the house stocked up with fresh easy to prep foods (there's a list on Day 33 of good foods to increase dopamine) and water with lots and lots of vitamins. I had to use powered vitamins in my water, or I would throw up. That happened for awhile. Til I figured out how to get them down and keep em there.
You need a heating pad, a bunch of ice packs if you have pain. You need sublingual B-12 tablets. Honey also works VERY well to get you moving if you have to. If you CAN; PLEASE take at least 7 straight days off. You can make it on 5 ... but that will SUCK so badly. I had to tell alot of lies, people think all kinds of odd things have happened to me in the last 47 days. But, it was necessary and it got me off the Tramadol.
And over the counter pain killers worked well for me. I used and still use Excedrin Migraine in the morning cause of the caffeine. I HAVE to get to work, and the mornings are the worst for me. So I need to wake up earlier than usual cause I move slowly in the morning. At night I'll use an antihistamine or Tylenol PM or Excedrin PM. Magnesium and Calcium helps sleep. Wrapping your limbs helps if you have weird limb pain. You can Google "Home Opiate Detox" and it'll give you some ideas. Obviously some good and some annoyingly bad! LOL!
Hot baths and showers are a huge part of the Thomas Recipe aka The Thomas Detox. Who is Thomas? He's the guy who should be all dead from all the drugs he's taken over the years and this is his method of Home Detox. I used it. It works. I used Batherapy bath salts. I used them in the shower when running a bath seemed impossible. Used them as a scrub. Skin being the largest organ and all that.
Here's a cut and paste of the Thomas Recipe for you Amber ..
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66
Here's protocol on amino acids
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Amino-Acid-Protocol/show/15?cid=66
Here's PAWS; Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome;
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/PAWS-part-1/show/39?cid=66
It's alot of reading, but you'll find it useful.
Most people say 4-5 day max once you jump off (stop taking the pills) before you feel ok. Mine was 4 days. It was like the worst flu ever combined with a migraine and a full on psychological attack. But; I can do 4 days and so can you! You may have it easier even! You have been on two less years and you tapered slow. So that's great!
Good luck! Let us know when you need our help ok?
Love and healing,
Emily
I have been on Tramadol for about 3 yrs. I was up to 300mg per day but I weaned myself of the drug over a few weeks. I am on day 10 of no medication and I still have huge issues with sleep. How long does to get a decent nights sleep. Diphenhydramine just makes me weak and not tired. I am controlling the other sypmtons well by exercising and long hot bath's. Any info would be helpful.
I have been on ultram for the last 6 months. i have been taking it as prescribed. 1-2 50 mg tablets every 4-6 hours. usually 2 doses, rarely 3 a day. My doctor told me that it is non-narcotic and non-habit forming. I forgot to call my refill in earlier in the week and ran out yesterday. No big deal. Non narcotic. not habit forming. BS!!!!! I hav been researching ultram for the last couple hours and have not read 1 good story about quitting it. I am experiencing may of the symptoms listed. My refill shows up tomorrow. I plan to call the doctor and go over our next course of action. I dont think quitting cold turkey is an option as I have a job to keep. Would there be any guesses as to how long I will have the WD's? Thanks for any input.
MK
MK
Hi MK;
I didn't quit cold turkey, exactly. I did a fast taper, letting the pills run out. I don't know if that is easier ...
I really feel for you. Of course you have a job to keep. I hae a job to keep!
Call the pharmacy and ask them to fill it now? Call your Dco and tell him you are experiencing w/d (I don't know if he'll believe you) and ask for an earlier refill. Then taper. Slowly? Will this help? Mabe.
Read about the Thomas Recipe, and the Vitamin Protocol. You might get hit really hard; or not. I've read about a few people who say they quit with no side effects. (Um. I'm not sure I believe them)
Good luck!
Please please read as much of this journal as you can, it is filled, stuffed with information about HOW to quit.
Love and helaing,
Emily
I didn't quit cold turkey, exactly. I did a fast taper, letting the pills run out. I don't know if that is easier ...
I really feel for you. Of course you have a job to keep. I hae a job to keep!
Call the pharmacy and ask them to fill it now? Call your Dco and tell him you are experiencing w/d (I don't know if he'll believe you) and ask for an earlier refill. Then taper. Slowly? Will this help? Mabe.
Read about the Thomas Recipe, and the Vitamin Protocol. You might get hit really hard; or not. I've read about a few people who say they quit with no side effects. (Um. I'm not sure I believe them)
Good luck!
Please please read as much of this journal as you can, it is filled, stuffed with information about HOW to quit.
Love and helaing,
Emily
Thanks for the reply Emily. I got 3 hours of sleep last night. went to work, no drugs, I sat my boss down and explained the situation to him. I felt horrible all day. took a small nap on my lunch break. did ok for the rest of the afternoon. All in all it was a lot better than I expected. right now I feel pretty good. yesterday morning was my last 50mg dose. I have hope that I will be one of the lucky ones. We'll see what tomorrow does.
How are you feeling now? I hope everything is going well. Thank you very much for the advice and info. it is all great help. I'll try to post again tomorrow.
How are you feeling now? I hope everything is going well. Thank you very much for the advice and info. it is all great help. I'll try to post again tomorrow.
Hi Hunter!
Oh that is so cool that you were able to tell your boss about your situation. Thank goodness! Some people can't you know? Even with Tramadol which is supposed to be non narcotic (but isn't) ...
Everything is ok now as far as Tramadol is concerned. I'm over 100 days out. The randomness of it was what was really horrible. I'm one of the ones that got sacked down hard by Tramadol.
For helping sleep;
Sleepy time Tea by celestial seasonings; right before bed
Pantothenic Acid (B5) which is for clenching of TMJ/Jaw. It happens to people in withdrawal. I took 2000 mg before bed. Nice side effect? Makes you sleepy.
Hot Bath with Queen Helene Lavender Batherapy .... That one has an amazing amount of minerals in it. Makes you crazy sleepy.
Benadryl or an anti histamine works for some.
Herbs, Passionflower, Valerian root, Hops, Skullcap ... one of those will work. Warning; Valerian root smells like a hockey team's tube sock ... so don't breathe; and get capsules!
B-12 sublingual tablets saved me! SO did Excedrin Migraine for getting to work!
Coffee helped me get to work!
I'm so glad you got a nap! That helps alot too.
Yes. yes, be one of the lucky ones ok?
Love and healing;
Emily
Oh that is so cool that you were able to tell your boss about your situation. Thank goodness! Some people can't you know? Even with Tramadol which is supposed to be non narcotic (but isn't) ...
Everything is ok now as far as Tramadol is concerned. I'm over 100 days out. The randomness of it was what was really horrible. I'm one of the ones that got sacked down hard by Tramadol.
For helping sleep;
Sleepy time Tea by celestial seasonings; right before bed
Pantothenic Acid (B5) which is for clenching of TMJ/Jaw. It happens to people in withdrawal. I took 2000 mg before bed. Nice side effect? Makes you sleepy.
Hot Bath with Queen Helene Lavender Batherapy .... That one has an amazing amount of minerals in it. Makes you crazy sleepy.
Benadryl or an anti histamine works for some.
Herbs, Passionflower, Valerian root, Hops, Skullcap ... one of those will work. Warning; Valerian root smells like a hockey team's tube sock ... so don't breathe; and get capsules!
B-12 sublingual tablets saved me! SO did Excedrin Migraine for getting to work!
Coffee helped me get to work!
I'm so glad you got a nap! That helps alot too.
Yes. yes, be one of the lucky ones ok?
Love and healing;
Emily
well, I woke up feeling great. slept a solid 8 hrs(with help from Lunesta). Sleep made all the difference. Felt good most the day. just kinda sluggish and scattered. I talked with my doc and expressed my concerns about tramadol and all of the nightmare stories about people trying to get off of it. She tell me that I am only hearing worst cases and scare tactics. Went on to say that they prescribe Tramadol because it is far less addictive than vicodin or percocet. I told her not to worry about the refill.
It's funny, as crappy as I feel, and I know tramadol will make me feel "better". I dont crave it one bit. I have been on percocet abit and always craved it after it was gone.
I feel I wasnt hit as hard as you or some of the others and you amaze me with your strength. I'm not sure how I could have dealt with that. I would have been right back on the bottle. Had the pharmacy had my script ready yesterday I would be starting all over.
Once again, thank you very much Emily for the support and advice. It really helps to hear this from a person that knows than from a doctor that dont care too much.
I'll try to post again tomorrow. gotta go now. sleep meds are bangin on the back of my eyelids.
Take care and be well
MK
It's funny, as crappy as I feel, and I know tramadol will make me feel "better". I dont crave it one bit. I have been on percocet abit and always craved it after it was gone.
I feel I wasnt hit as hard as you or some of the others and you amaze me with your strength. I'm not sure how I could have dealt with that. I would have been right back on the bottle. Had the pharmacy had my script ready yesterday I would be starting all over.
Once again, thank you very much Emily for the support and advice. It really helps to hear this from a person that knows than from a doctor that dont care too much.
I'll try to post again tomorrow. gotta go now. sleep meds are bangin on the back of my eyelids.
Take care and be well
MK
Hunter, I encourage you to read my story, print it if possible, and give it to your practitioner. If that doesn't work, give me your practitioner's phone number and I'll call him/her and tell him/her the TRUTH behind Tramadol myself!!! I have been an RN for 20+ years....I too, bought the line that it is relatively harmless....until I went through the most agonizing, painful, and emotionally destructive withdrawal I could ever hope to never have again!
Arrrgh! And to think your practitioner just brushed off your comments.....scare tactics? My Arse! Worst-case-scenario? Not a chance! This is real and prevalant and frightening. This will become big news when it finally comes out, mark my words. And those of us practitioners who were clueless will blame the FDA and the drug companies instead of ourselves for not listening to the thousands of people (our patients) whose lives have been affected negatively by this horrible little pill.
In case you can't print from the comment page, I put this in your mailbox as well.
Best of luck and health
Arrrgh! And to think your practitioner just brushed off your comments.....scare tactics? My Arse! Worst-case-scenario? Not a chance! This is real and prevalant and frightening. This will become big news when it finally comes out, mark my words. And those of us practitioners who were clueless will blame the FDA and the drug companies instead of ourselves for not listening to the thousands of people (our patients) whose lives have been affected negatively by this horrible little pill.
In case you can't print from the comment page, I put this in your mailbox as well.
Best of luck and health
I am so glad I found this site. I had no idea how many people had this problem with Tramadol. I got addicted Tramadol because I have horrible cramps. If my stomach started to cramp I would just pop a Tramadol I would feel like new in about 20 mins. I began to realize that I was addicted to Tramadol one day when I hadn't taken any all day and my knees started aching really bad. I felt sluggish. So I took a Tramadol, and I was all better. (or so I thought). It literally made me feel BETTER. Well, enough was enough and I decided I wanted to be "normal" again. The first day of withdrawals sucked. I just stayed in bed. Because I would have been of no use in the real world. Well, the real fun started that night. I am just a big bag of emotions and I am ready to go to bed. Well, the fun restless legs kicked in. It was horrible, I cried, I kicked, I prayed. I was up and down all night long, I watched the whole season of Flovor of Love. And finally dozed off at about 5 in the morning. After that things got alot easier. I was learning to do things over again.
Then: I had to get my wisdon teeth removed.
That **** hurts. And I gets me some Lortabs. I take them all. I look in my drawer and what do I see?? 2 left over Tramadol.
Just one wont hurt!!!
Well, here I am again. It has been 1 day no Tramadol. Today was pretty sucky.My legs hurt. I am dizzy. Scattered minded. Just feel horrible. My legs are aching so I know I wont be getting any sleep tonight.
BUT: I flushed all the remaining Tramadols.
I have to get them out of my life. FOREVER
TO ANYONE WHO HAS NEVER TAKEN TRAMADOL:
DON"T DO IT
Then: I had to get my wisdon teeth removed.
That **** hurts. And I gets me some Lortabs. I take them all. I look in my drawer and what do I see?? 2 left over Tramadol.
Just one wont hurt!!!
Well, here I am again. It has been 1 day no Tramadol. Today was pretty sucky.My legs hurt. I am dizzy. Scattered minded. Just feel horrible. My legs are aching so I know I wont be getting any sleep tonight.
BUT: I flushed all the remaining Tramadols.
I have to get them out of my life. FOREVER
TO ANYONE WHO HAS NEVER TAKEN TRAMADOL:
DON"T DO IT
Tramadol is rat poison. It's hoorrrrrrible stuff.
Can't imagine using this for cramps ... ICKY! I gets you hooked in a few days ...
Yep. Yes, say NO! :D
Can't imagine using this for cramps ... ICKY! I gets you hooked in a few days ...
Yep. Yes, say NO! :D
day 2: well... i made it through the night. it was horrible. i think i got 2 hours of sleep. i got out of bed 47 times i think. and all im thinking is .....a 1/4 of one and i will be asleep. BUT I DIDNT DO IT...... that was a big deal to me. so finally when my body decided to relax..... i hear my alarm clock..... im not sure, but i think i dressed myself for work. i got to work and my legs are achy but not as bad as the first day of withdrawals..... I made it a whole day at work ... no Tramadol. and i actullay did work. im at home now... horrible mood swings. my legs are hurting........i bought some vitamins to give me energy.... we'll see how tonight goes... and the next couple of days.
HOORAY!
OK color me impressed that you went to work. I wasn't at work on Day 2! Good for you! Take it easy enough that you don't go back to the Tramadol. That stuff causes more problems than it cures after a time.
Sorry you got up out of bed 47 times! I know that feeling of finally being asleep and then the darn alarm goes off. So awful!
Ok well best of luck tonight. Try and use The Thomas Recipe as much as you can. Hot mineral baths really do help!
Love and healing,
Emily
OK color me impressed that you went to work. I wasn't at work on Day 2! Good for you! Take it easy enough that you don't go back to the Tramadol. That stuff causes more problems than it cures after a time.
Sorry you got up out of bed 47 times! I know that feeling of finally being asleep and then the darn alarm goes off. So awful!
Ok well best of luck tonight. Try and use The Thomas Recipe as much as you can. Hot mineral baths really do help!
Love and healing,
Emily
Is anyone out there? I need help and am scared to death right now. I have only been on Tramadol for about 3-4 months. I stopped taking it b/c I wasn't having pain of endomietriosis at the time and wow the withdrawl is so wicked. I am down to no refills and only about 25 pills, I am scared and don't know whether to try to get another prescription or quite....I have such a busy life, 4 kids and a full time job. I function totally well on tramadol and can't do anything when I was withdrawling. I don't have time for a long withdrawl before I feel normal, what can I do?
Its me again, I don't have email at home right now, and work night shift, so I am sure nobody is up right now. I read most of the blogs and am relieved and scared to see others have had the same withdrawals as me. The leg aches are the worst for me, I can't stop trying to stretch and move. It is so miserable I feel like it would be easier to ask a doctor for a long term prescription and just avoid going off of them. I hate this!! I don't want to be on them, but I don't want to feel the hell of withdrawal. I have had 4 kids and this pain is worse than child birth. I accomplish so much too, when I am on it.....I don't know if I will be able to do as much when or should I say if I kick the habit. HELP HELP HELP..........................I think I will call the doctor today and just keep going. I take about (6) 50 mg pills a day, used to take more, but I can get by with 6. I can't get moving during the day until I have my tramadol pumping through my veins, but man then I am getting everything done. Not to mention, I suffer from severe migraines and haven't had any since on tramadol? Also lost a lot of weight and am thinner than I have been in forever.
Hi Kel;
Well yeah, that is what stops most people from getting off Tramadol. Fear of Pain from withdrawal. You wanna be on a long term program? When exactly will that end? The pain of withdrawal will be minimal after 3-4 months as comapred to 3-4 years. Everybody says that they don't have time.
You can read about what most of us did to get off. I have been off for over 100 days ....probably more now.
I wouldn't take it for anything. It's poison. For me; it made pain worse. It gave me the illusion it was helping me. But it wasn't. It was and is worth it to get thru 3-4 days of he-$$ and then 7 days of sub-normal functioning. People get the flu all the time. Tramadol will take your life from you. Right now, you sound as if you have an attitude of fear. That won't help.
Only anger and a fight will help you get out.
I hope you read the whole journal. Only my opinion. but this stuff if poisin, makes pain way worse and will ruin your life. You should get out before it really take ahold of you. But then; it's your decision.
Love and healing,
Emily
Well yeah, that is what stops most people from getting off Tramadol. Fear of Pain from withdrawal. You wanna be on a long term program? When exactly will that end? The pain of withdrawal will be minimal after 3-4 months as comapred to 3-4 years. Everybody says that they don't have time.
You can read about what most of us did to get off. I have been off for over 100 days ....probably more now.
I wouldn't take it for anything. It's poison. For me; it made pain worse. It gave me the illusion it was helping me. But it wasn't. It was and is worth it to get thru 3-4 days of he-$$ and then 7 days of sub-normal functioning. People get the flu all the time. Tramadol will take your life from you. Right now, you sound as if you have an attitude of fear. That won't help.
Only anger and a fight will help you get out.
I hope you read the whole journal. Only my opinion. but this stuff if poisin, makes pain way worse and will ruin your life. You should get out before it really take ahold of you. But then; it's your decision.
Love and healing,
Emily
I have just found this site and am so relieved.. When I started taking Tramadol 5 years ago there was virtually nothing about addiction/withdrawal.
I have been taking it for fibromyalgia and other things and have really not had a break, although I have never had more than 200ml daily ( 2 x 100 in the time release). I am tapering off and feel just ghastly, particularly emotionally. Can anyone tell me if they have experienced the following?:
Pain in arms/ arm swelling (my doctor thinks there are cervical spine problems, but thought I'd ask)
Pressure in the chest
Feelings of swelling in neck
severe agitation
severe lack of focus
a LOT of sweating
complete apathy
I know that I find it very difficult to stop drugs - I have been very unwell throughout my life and was on steroids (prednisone) for a very long time.. The way the doctor told me to come off it was completely unsatisfactory, so I did it my own way.. very very gently lowering then stabilising the lowered dose, then lowering again, over months till I was OK. I'm wondering if it will be the same with this.
Thanks for providing this means to talk to others.. it is so important when you feel there is nowhere to go!
I have been taking it for fibromyalgia and other things and have really not had a break, although I have never had more than 200ml daily ( 2 x 100 in the time release). I am tapering off and feel just ghastly, particularly emotionally. Can anyone tell me if they have experienced the following?:
Pain in arms/ arm swelling (my doctor thinks there are cervical spine problems, but thought I'd ask)
Pressure in the chest
Feelings of swelling in neck
severe agitation
severe lack of focus
a LOT of sweating
complete apathy
I know that I find it very difficult to stop drugs - I have been very unwell throughout my life and was on steroids (prednisone) for a very long time.. The way the doctor told me to come off it was completely unsatisfactory, so I did it my own way.. very very gently lowering then stabilising the lowered dose, then lowering again, over months till I was OK. I'm wondering if it will be the same with this.
Thanks for providing this means to talk to others.. it is so important when you feel there is nowhere to go!
I just wanted to add that before I took Tramadol I rarely took any drugs (except thyroxine as I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis), ate very healthy food and drank raw organic juices daily, was rigorous in my yoga practice, etc etc.
After a while it dissipated. I had a lot more energy for things, but didn't treat my body the way I always had - I craved carbs and sugar etc etc.
Just a thought, in case others have had a similar experience.
After a while it dissipated. I had a lot more energy for things, but didn't treat my body the way I always had - I craved carbs and sugar etc etc.
Just a thought, in case others have had a similar experience.
Hi Organica;
Yes. Every single one of those symptoms I had thru withdrawal from Tramadol.
I specifically remember thinking that my arms were going to fall off from pain.
Yes, Chest pain and anxiety and yes yes neck pain.
Sweating ... YES. I had stacks of yoga clothes washed and ready cause I would finally sleep and wake up covered in sweat. It would also happen randomly.
Agitation; yes yes. I remember in early withdrawal and even at the end that I thought I was developing a social anxiety. In early withdrawal the phone would ring or the doorbell and I would HIDE! LOL! Seriously, that is so not me. So .. withdrawal form this is serious YUCK,
Apathy with lack of focus is so annoying isn't it? Like being cut off emotionally, knowing it and kinda not being able to muster up the will to care about it. Tramadol is such an ugly destabilizing drug emotionally because it has that added antidepressant component that "they" never like to admit is in it!
They won't even tell you it is addictive. It most certainly is addictive. I'd rather go off any one of the pain pills (opiates) that I went off of than go off Tramadol again. Truly like being in a pit of despair. Luckily, it is chemical and caused by both being on the drug and then by coming off of it. It's not a personality change or anything organic. It is a drug reality.
I'm so sorry that you are going thru it! I am way out now. I have recovered and was on the same kind of dose for about the same amount of time and I can promise you, once you get thru it; you will regain everything you "lost" ... even things you did not know you had lost. It's going to be ok.
The feelings of "Oh I am DYING!" are caused by withdrawal.
What I did was make lists. Alot of my lists are in this journal. I would forget what it was I was supposed to do to make myself feel better. So the lists helped a great deal.
The good news is that most of us reported 3-4 days of very bad withdrawal (it's like a flu/migraine/backache the worst you have ever had) and about a 7 day period of not being functional. By Day 10 I knew I would live.
It was remarkably random. SO I would be ok for a few hours or a few days or a few minutes and the BLAMMO! So ... keep that in mind. You are so smart to taper and then jump off. Tramadol makes people sick after extended use. And if you want to call it addiction or "dependence" it is kinda all the same at the end of the day as far as fighting the fight!
Thank you for writing! You have no idea ... well I bet you do ... what your words do for people who can't express what you have. Or ask what you have. To be in early withdrawal form Tramadol is really scary. I wanted people to find this and think, "She got off and out, so I bet I can!" There's so little like that when you search for Tramadol withdrawal.
Let us all know how you are doing ok? Write as much as you like and I am sure we can help. Been there. It is awful, but the drug will destroy you, so you really have to taper and jump off. I know you can!
Love and healing,
Emily
Yes. Every single one of those symptoms I had thru withdrawal from Tramadol.
I specifically remember thinking that my arms were going to fall off from pain.
Yes, Chest pain and anxiety and yes yes neck pain.
Sweating ... YES. I had stacks of yoga clothes washed and ready cause I would finally sleep and wake up covered in sweat. It would also happen randomly.
Agitation; yes yes. I remember in early withdrawal and even at the end that I thought I was developing a social anxiety. In early withdrawal the phone would ring or the doorbell and I would HIDE! LOL! Seriously, that is so not me. So .. withdrawal form this is serious YUCK,
Apathy with lack of focus is so annoying isn't it? Like being cut off emotionally, knowing it and kinda not being able to muster up the will to care about it. Tramadol is such an ugly destabilizing drug emotionally because it has that added antidepressant component that "they" never like to admit is in it!
They won't even tell you it is addictive. It most certainly is addictive. I'd rather go off any one of the pain pills (opiates) that I went off of than go off Tramadol again. Truly like being in a pit of despair. Luckily, it is chemical and caused by both being on the drug and then by coming off of it. It's not a personality change or anything organic. It is a drug reality.
I'm so sorry that you are going thru it! I am way out now. I have recovered and was on the same kind of dose for about the same amount of time and I can promise you, once you get thru it; you will regain everything you "lost" ... even things you did not know you had lost. It's going to be ok.
The feelings of "Oh I am DYING!" are caused by withdrawal.
What I did was make lists. Alot of my lists are in this journal. I would forget what it was I was supposed to do to make myself feel better. So the lists helped a great deal.
The good news is that most of us reported 3-4 days of very bad withdrawal (it's like a flu/migraine/backache the worst you have ever had) and about a 7 day period of not being functional. By Day 10 I knew I would live.
It was remarkably random. SO I would be ok for a few hours or a few days or a few minutes and the BLAMMO! So ... keep that in mind. You are so smart to taper and then jump off. Tramadol makes people sick after extended use. And if you want to call it addiction or "dependence" it is kinda all the same at the end of the day as far as fighting the fight!
Thank you for writing! You have no idea ... well I bet you do ... what your words do for people who can't express what you have. Or ask what you have. To be in early withdrawal form Tramadol is really scary. I wanted people to find this and think, "She got off and out, so I bet I can!" There's so little like that when you search for Tramadol withdrawal.
Let us all know how you are doing ok? Write as much as you like and I am sure we can help. Been there. It is awful, but the drug will destroy you, so you really have to taper and jump off. I know you can!
Love and healing,
Emily
Thank you, Emily. You have no idea how helpful it is as absolutely no-one knows my situation.
It has taken me about a month to get from 2 x 100 slow release daily, which I have been on for years, to 2 x 50. I asked my doctor for the 50 slow release (she also gives me the normal 50s). I told her I wanted to taper off and she said there was absolutely no need to - you can just stop. Yeah, right.
There is no problem with accessing the tablets, which can make stopping harder as, when it all gets too much, I always have them.
So at the moment I am on 2 x 50 slow release, although I admit when it gets too much, I substitute a more rapid 50, but still stick to the 'no more than 100 daily' rule. I am barely functioning.. today, not at all...
And I haven't even gone cold turkey!
Anyway, slowly, slowly is going to have to be my way so that I can funcion in the world in some way. If I could just stop, perhaps it would be easier, but I cannot let people know what I am going through, and I have to earn a living.
Thank you so much for your support.
Best,
Organica
It has taken me about a month to get from 2 x 100 slow release daily, which I have been on for years, to 2 x 50. I asked my doctor for the 50 slow release (she also gives me the normal 50s). I told her I wanted to taper off and she said there was absolutely no need to - you can just stop. Yeah, right.
There is no problem with accessing the tablets, which can make stopping harder as, when it all gets too much, I always have them.
So at the moment I am on 2 x 50 slow release, although I admit when it gets too much, I substitute a more rapid 50, but still stick to the 'no more than 100 daily' rule. I am barely functioning.. today, not at all...
And I haven't even gone cold turkey!
Anyway, slowly, slowly is going to have to be my way so that I can funcion in the world in some way. If I could just stop, perhaps it would be easier, but I cannot let people know what I am going through, and I have to earn a living.
Thank you so much for your support.
Best,
Organica
Organica and Kel,
The best advice I can give you is to keep coming back here! Reading Emily's journal and all the comments and ideas from other people who are trying to get off of this demon drug has been the BIGGEST help I have found. I've been taking it over a year for a bulging disk, but once I was able to manage that without drugs I found that I could not stop taking the Tramadol in spite of what my doctors said about the "safety" and "non-addictive" nature of it. That simply is not true! I have been able to taper off 1/4 of a pill at a time with little suffering from withdrawal. I guage when I need to lower my dose again by the intensity of the restless leg symptoms. For me, the jumpy joints that keep me from sleeping is the worst part! I still have other withdrawal symptoms like migraine type headaches behind my eyes, digestive stuff, stomach cramps, run-down tiredness and fatigue, but all of those are manageable and I don't have to drop out of my life to deal with withdrawal.
At one point I was taking 300-400 mg a day, then about 6 months ago I decided I needed to get off this wicked drug, so I dropped 100 mg for a month until I got down to 100 mg a day, then I stayed there for a long time because I couldn't seem to get any lower without suffering severe withdrawal. Then I found Emily! She got me past the fear of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms and gave me the motivation to come up with a plan to deal with it. Now I'm tapering down in smaller increments and that seems to be working. I've discovered that it only takes a couple of days to adjust to a lower dose before I can drop again. I started at 100 mg about 2 weeks ago, and now I'm down to 37.5. At this rate I'll be totally off Tramadol by Thanksgiving!
In a couple of Emily's journal entries I remember her saying something like she started to feel "herself" again, not the drug, but the real "her". When I read it I wasn't really sure I understood what she was talking about, but I'm beginning to now. It's a strange and incredible experience! It's sort of like there are two of me. There's the one me who wants the drug, and candy, and soda and cigarettes....this me seems to manufacture pain in my body in an effort to get me to take more Tramadol. This me also tries to trigger whacked out emotional responses to things that I normally would not be emotional about. For example, the other day when my husband got home from work, he came in and said "hey hon, how was your night?" and I started crying. yes, crying. for absolutely no reason. I hadn't had a bad day, I wasn't under any undue stress, nothing tragic had occurred, I wasn't even watching a tear-jerker movie! But for some reason just saying hello to me made me cry. Ridiculous! But that's how this drug works!
Now that I'm getting off this poison there's another me that is emerging. This me is the "real me" that I think Emily was talking about. This me senses my heart beating, and my lungs pumping, this me wants to eat good food and cares about my appearance, and wants to exercise. This me is actually emotionally stable, wants to be around other people and cares about other things besides just myself and my selfish needs. The stranges part is that I can "feel" this other me sort of getting happy and relieved like she's being freed from something, like she's being released from some kind of restraints. Like I said, It's very weird! And hard to explain, but I can't wait for the drug me to be gone forever and the real me to be all there is! Then I'll know I'll be off of Tramadol for good!
I read somewhere one time that we actually have two brains. One in our gut and one in our head. That our gut actually produces more neurotransmitters than the organ in our heads. I wonder if this is the reason for the "two me's" that I seem to be experiencing and that I've read other people have experienced. Has anyone else ever heard of this?
Best wishes to all and don't fear the fear!
Cecie
The best advice I can give you is to keep coming back here! Reading Emily's journal and all the comments and ideas from other people who are trying to get off of this demon drug has been the BIGGEST help I have found. I've been taking it over a year for a bulging disk, but once I was able to manage that without drugs I found that I could not stop taking the Tramadol in spite of what my doctors said about the "safety" and "non-addictive" nature of it. That simply is not true! I have been able to taper off 1/4 of a pill at a time with little suffering from withdrawal. I guage when I need to lower my dose again by the intensity of the restless leg symptoms. For me, the jumpy joints that keep me from sleeping is the worst part! I still have other withdrawal symptoms like migraine type headaches behind my eyes, digestive stuff, stomach cramps, run-down tiredness and fatigue, but all of those are manageable and I don't have to drop out of my life to deal with withdrawal.
At one point I was taking 300-400 mg a day, then about 6 months ago I decided I needed to get off this wicked drug, so I dropped 100 mg for a month until I got down to 100 mg a day, then I stayed there for a long time because I couldn't seem to get any lower without suffering severe withdrawal. Then I found Emily! She got me past the fear of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms and gave me the motivation to come up with a plan to deal with it. Now I'm tapering down in smaller increments and that seems to be working. I've discovered that it only takes a couple of days to adjust to a lower dose before I can drop again. I started at 100 mg about 2 weeks ago, and now I'm down to 37.5. At this rate I'll be totally off Tramadol by Thanksgiving!
In a couple of Emily's journal entries I remember her saying something like she started to feel "herself" again, not the drug, but the real "her". When I read it I wasn't really sure I understood what she was talking about, but I'm beginning to now. It's a strange and incredible experience! It's sort of like there are two of me. There's the one me who wants the drug, and candy, and soda and cigarettes....this me seems to manufacture pain in my body in an effort to get me to take more Tramadol. This me also tries to trigger whacked out emotional responses to things that I normally would not be emotional about. For example, the other day when my husband got home from work, he came in and said "hey hon, how was your night?" and I started crying. yes, crying. for absolutely no reason. I hadn't had a bad day, I wasn't under any undue stress, nothing tragic had occurred, I wasn't even watching a tear-jerker movie! But for some reason just saying hello to me made me cry. Ridiculous! But that's how this drug works!
Now that I'm getting off this poison there's another me that is emerging. This me is the "real me" that I think Emily was talking about. This me senses my heart beating, and my lungs pumping, this me wants to eat good food and cares about my appearance, and wants to exercise. This me is actually emotionally stable, wants to be around other people and cares about other things besides just myself and my selfish needs. The stranges part is that I can "feel" this other me sort of getting happy and relieved like she's being freed from something, like she's being released from some kind of restraints. Like I said, It's very weird! And hard to explain, but I can't wait for the drug me to be gone forever and the real me to be all there is! Then I'll know I'll be off of Tramadol for good!
I read somewhere one time that we actually have two brains. One in our gut and one in our head. That our gut actually produces more neurotransmitters than the organ in our heads. I wonder if this is the reason for the "two me's" that I seem to be experiencing and that I've read other people have experienced. Has anyone else ever heard of this?
Best wishes to all and don't fear the fear!
Cecie
Hi Cecie and thank you...
I cannot begin to describe how glad I am to have found this site! I was beginning to think I was going mad.
When you say you are down to 37.5, what does that mean? I am in Australia and am wondering whether our drugs come in different forms.
Things from you all that ring huge bells:
"dirty sweat".. yes!
Transfer your fear to anger - I have been so trained to not go to anger that this was a revelation - fear is THE issue. I feel uncomfortable with targeting the anger at specific things, but find I can target it at the drug. I was going to say 'the addiction' but I find 'addiction' such a difficult word to use in the case of Tramadol.. I don't crave the drug - isn't that the defining feature of addiction? Physical dependence seems more the case.
All of the psychological issues - I have so much to do and simply cannot get it done.. I have thought it was physical as I have a lot of physical issues (which is why I was put on Tramal in the first place). Now I am thinking that I also have profound depression. The thing is this was occuring before I started tapering off the drug. I feel as though the drug created it in the first place, and then coming off it makes it so much worse. That is the insidious thing with this drug - it isn't just about the withdrawal. The actual drug does awful things to the mind over a period of time.
The incredible head-in-the-sand attitude of doctors.
Just writing this makes me feel better than I have in ages - support is a wonderful thing. Bless you all.
Organica
I cannot begin to describe how glad I am to have found this site! I was beginning to think I was going mad.
When you say you are down to 37.5, what does that mean? I am in Australia and am wondering whether our drugs come in different forms.
Things from you all that ring huge bells:
"dirty sweat".. yes!
Transfer your fear to anger - I have been so trained to not go to anger that this was a revelation - fear is THE issue. I feel uncomfortable with targeting the anger at specific things, but find I can target it at the drug. I was going to say 'the addiction' but I find 'addiction' such a difficult word to use in the case of Tramadol.. I don't crave the drug - isn't that the defining feature of addiction? Physical dependence seems more the case.
All of the psychological issues - I have so much to do and simply cannot get it done.. I have thought it was physical as I have a lot of physical issues (which is why I was put on Tramal in the first place). Now I am thinking that I also have profound depression. The thing is this was occuring before I started tapering off the drug. I feel as though the drug created it in the first place, and then coming off it makes it so much worse. That is the insidious thing with this drug - it isn't just about the withdrawal. The actual drug does awful things to the mind over a period of time.
The incredible head-in-the-sand attitude of doctors.
Just writing this makes me feel better than I have in ages - support is a wonderful thing. Bless you all.
Organica
Dear Kel,
It is so easy to think you will just keep taking them.. I thought that I would maintain my dose and work hard on exercise, meditation, nutrition etc in the hope that it would give me the strength to then start tapering off, or at least give me my life back. It just didn't work. It is like trying to override something that is intent on staying.
I do a lot of meditation and know that the mind is continuously trying to distract us from our ability to go within and find the answers within ourselves.. It is one of the little quirks of being human. We need to train the mind to just focus and be silent sometimes. I think this drug grabs the mind and makes its skittishness more tenacious. The drug cannot find peace for you. I really have tried to work with this.
Please, please try to gradually lower the dose till you can let go.
What is keeping me going is that wonderful feeling of accomplishment when it is done.. how good will that be! And reading the stories of others here has made me realise this is very very achievable. So what I am doing now , whenever it all feels really really grim, is to come back and read what others have accomplished.
We can do this!!
It is so easy to think you will just keep taking them.. I thought that I would maintain my dose and work hard on exercise, meditation, nutrition etc in the hope that it would give me the strength to then start tapering off, or at least give me my life back. It just didn't work. It is like trying to override something that is intent on staying.
I do a lot of meditation and know that the mind is continuously trying to distract us from our ability to go within and find the answers within ourselves.. It is one of the little quirks of being human. We need to train the mind to just focus and be silent sometimes. I think this drug grabs the mind and makes its skittishness more tenacious. The drug cannot find peace for you. I really have tried to work with this.
Please, please try to gradually lower the dose till you can let go.
What is keeping me going is that wonderful feeling of accomplishment when it is done.. how good will that be! And reading the stories of others here has made me realise this is very very achievable. So what I am doing now , whenever it all feels really really grim, is to come back and read what others have accomplished.
We can do this!!
hello again,
Thanks for the comments. Everyone sounds so very positive with what is going on with them and you all should be b/c if you have made it this far you should all be very proud. I don't think I can do it. I am just not there yet. I am still in the scared to death phase and I know I don't want to be on it, but my life doesn't stop and I don't have any sick time to take off work and nobody to take care of my kids. I hate this poison, as you all refer to as. It is controlling my life and I hate it. Anyway, I just worked 13 1/2 hours and haven't slept in 22 hours, so now I have to try to get some sleep, between tossing and turning and stretching my legs, until I peel myself out of bed and drag my *** into the bathroom to take 3 pills, wait 30 minutes and then start it all over again. Great, can't wait.
Thanks for the comments. Everyone sounds so very positive with what is going on with them and you all should be b/c if you have made it this far you should all be very proud. I don't think I can do it. I am just not there yet. I am still in the scared to death phase and I know I don't want to be on it, but my life doesn't stop and I don't have any sick time to take off work and nobody to take care of my kids. I hate this poison, as you all refer to as. It is controlling my life and I hate it. Anyway, I just worked 13 1/2 hours and haven't slept in 22 hours, so now I have to try to get some sleep, between tossing and turning and stretching my legs, until I peel myself out of bed and drag my *** into the bathroom to take 3 pills, wait 30 minutes and then start it all over again. Great, can't wait.
Still here, still on the meds, no comments? No help?
Kel, I am not sure of the etiquette of posting here.. I am new to interacting on the internet, so I hope it is OK for me to reply to you.
This is Emily's log and she gave you good advice a few posts back.
No-one can help you if you are not ready to do this. There is no point in saying you are not ready and then wanting help - what on earth can anyone do?
I, too, have no support and a job to keep. My way, as I said before, is to do it very slowly.. any amount of reduction will make you feel stronger and more able to cope. Others will tell you to just create the space and just stop, which is an excellent plan.
Learn relaxation techniques. Learn to breath deeply and well.
Read this Emily and others' stories... they are inspiring.
The rest is, truly, up to you.
Wishing you Strength
Organica
This is Emily's log and she gave you good advice a few posts back.
No-one can help you if you are not ready to do this. There is no point in saying you are not ready and then wanting help - what on earth can anyone do?
I, too, have no support and a job to keep. My way, as I said before, is to do it very slowly.. any amount of reduction will make you feel stronger and more able to cope. Others will tell you to just create the space and just stop, which is an excellent plan.
Learn relaxation techniques. Learn to breath deeply and well.
Read this Emily and others' stories... they are inspiring.
The rest is, truly, up to you.
Wishing you Strength
Organica
Re: "Read this Emily and others' stories"
Sorry, there shouldn't have been a 'this' in there... it sounds a little impolite :-)
Sorry, there shouldn't have been a 'this' in there... it sounds a little impolite :-)
(((Organica)))
I thought your reply was lovely!
Love and healing,
Emily
I thought your reply was lovely!
Love and healing,
Emily
I just stumbled on this web site and I can't believe I found this. I've been taking tramadol for about 10 months now and from the moment I started taking it I loved what it did for me. Not only was I pain free but I was happy, energetic and very efficient. While taking it i've always told myself that if I ever decide to stop taking it that I could do so easily, but then every time I try my pain feels unbearable both emotionally and physically. After reading all your posts I realised I have to stop!I don't know how i'll do this because I too have a family that rely on me for everything. But I just want to feel normal again. I don't want the drug to dictate my life which I feel like it's doing right now. So an hour ago was HOPEFULLY the last time I take tramadol. Wish me luck and i'd love to hear from you all.
Hello Want2bFree;
I really hope you do well. I actually remember some of the feelings you said you had on the Tramadol, but it turned on me pretty fast.
I've been off it for a long time now, zero cravings. Back pain is not as bad as it was while ON Tramadol. Today I actually FELT like cleaning house! Wowza!
What injury do you have that you got put on Tramadol?
There's so much in the journal, it's actually very long now! LOL. So I hope you will read it and get suggestions for everyone. I designed it to be helpful, because I couldn't find any help while going thru withdrawal. And yes, I felt like I was dying every time I tried to stop. And then Docs would assure me there was no need to stop; perfectly safe. Not addictive. Yeah.
It's better to be free. Worrying about a drug, how you'll get it and so on .. is not a good way to live IMO.
Love and Healing,
Emily
I really hope you do well. I actually remember some of the feelings you said you had on the Tramadol, but it turned on me pretty fast.
I've been off it for a long time now, zero cravings. Back pain is not as bad as it was while ON Tramadol. Today I actually FELT like cleaning house! Wowza!
What injury do you have that you got put on Tramadol?
There's so much in the journal, it's actually very long now! LOL. So I hope you will read it and get suggestions for everyone. I designed it to be helpful, because I couldn't find any help while going thru withdrawal. And yes, I felt like I was dying every time I tried to stop. And then Docs would assure me there was no need to stop; perfectly safe. Not addictive. Yeah.
It's better to be free. Worrying about a drug, how you'll get it and so on .. is not a good way to live IMO.
Love and Healing,
Emily
Dear Want2bFree,
I have a feeling your response to finding this site is the same as mine :-) I remember too being 'pain free, happy, energetic and very efficient'... exactly! But it didn't last. And what Emily and others here have pointed out, that I was missing, is that the drug itself really changes you. And I believed that the agony of not taking it was my condition, not physical withdrawal. So I kept going, and insidiously I became someone else.
As I cut down I feel my old self coming back. Emily actually pointed out to me that it could even be a better self, and it actually is....We certainly learn and strengthen from these experiences.
I am still on Tramal, but a far smaller dose, and getting smaller all the time.. but I have been on it for many years. I am so glad you are doing this at this stage.
The very best to you..
Organica
And to Emily... I know I keep waxing lyrical about what you are doing here, but it has been such a revelation! What a wonderful service you have created through your own struggle. And how wonderful to be able to do this, not just as non-members of the orthadox medical profession, but despite them.
I have a feeling your response to finding this site is the same as mine :-) I remember too being 'pain free, happy, energetic and very efficient'... exactly! But it didn't last. And what Emily and others here have pointed out, that I was missing, is that the drug itself really changes you. And I believed that the agony of not taking it was my condition, not physical withdrawal. So I kept going, and insidiously I became someone else.
As I cut down I feel my old self coming back. Emily actually pointed out to me that it could even be a better self, and it actually is....We certainly learn and strengthen from these experiences.
I am still on Tramal, but a far smaller dose, and getting smaller all the time.. but I have been on it for many years. I am so glad you are doing this at this stage.
The very best to you..
Organica
And to Emily... I know I keep waxing lyrical about what you are doing here, but it has been such a revelation! What a wonderful service you have created through your own struggle. And how wonderful to be able to do this, not just as non-members of the orthadox medical profession, but despite them.
Hi Organica and Kel,
Sorry it's been so long for me to respond; I don't always get a chance to get online. My teenage daughter tends to dominate the computer. ;> I'm not sure how your doctors prescribe medicine in Australia, but mine is prescribed in milligrams. What I mean by 37.5 is that I have managed to reduce my dosage from 300 milligrams a day, to 100 milligrams a day, and finally all the way down to only 37.5 milligrams a day. My pills are round tablets in 50 milligram doses, so I can cut them in 1/2 and go down 1/4 of a pill at a time. I seem to be stuck at 37.5 mg right now, but I keep trying to cut out a little more and get down to only 25mg a day.
Don't give up! It's definitely worth it. I can tell a big difference, but like Emily has said many times you have good days and bad days, but in the end they're all good!
Best wishes for Success!
Cecie
Sorry it's been so long for me to respond; I don't always get a chance to get online. My teenage daughter tends to dominate the computer. ;> I'm not sure how your doctors prescribe medicine in Australia, but mine is prescribed in milligrams. What I mean by 37.5 is that I have managed to reduce my dosage from 300 milligrams a day, to 100 milligrams a day, and finally all the way down to only 37.5 milligrams a day. My pills are round tablets in 50 milligram doses, so I can cut them in 1/2 and go down 1/4 of a pill at a time. I seem to be stuck at 37.5 mg right now, but I keep trying to cut out a little more and get down to only 25mg a day.
Don't give up! It's definitely worth it. I can tell a big difference, but like Emily has said many times you have good days and bad days, but in the end they're all good!
Best wishes for Success!
Cecie
Thanks, Cecie,
Probably about time I became Sue, rather than Organica :-)
In Aus we only have 50mil that are in a capsule and cannot be cut, and 'time release' tablets that come in 50, 100 and 200, that last 12 hours. I was on two 100s daily.. the doctor offered me the 200s during a bad patch, but, thank heavens, I refused. So the problem with cutting back is that you can't! There is no cutting of the time release ones.
I am now down to 75 ml daily after a long time of 100. I do it by 'spacing' the doses since I can't cut them
Having said all that, I just split open a 50ml capsule, and it is full of powder, so I can do it! That makes such a difference!
Cecie, I understand the 'getting stuck' at a dose. I said before that when I was on steroids for a long period (they did keep my alive, so it was worth it), it took forever to jump-start my adrenals to working again... getting off the really low dose was the tough one. Perhaps this is the same, but with seretonin? But I did it in the end, and of course we can do it again. Are you trying the 37.5 one day, 25 the next? When I was on steroids I even did the equivalent of 3.75, 3.75, 25, for a while, then 3.75, 25 ,25 and so on.
I have noticed that Tramal weren't actually helping the pain as much as I thought... I was under the impression the pain was getting worse, but obviously the drugs just weren't doing it anymore.
And yes, there are days that are simply appalling! What I am learning, through experience, and through talking with everyone here, is that they become less. Also it has been enormously helpful to understand the unpredictability of it... as Emily said, it can come at any time, for any amount of time.
But I must say there is an underlying strength to it all - a feeling of getting myself back!
Thank you everyone... and all strength to you!
Sue
Probably about time I became Sue, rather than Organica :-)
In Aus we only have 50mil that are in a capsule and cannot be cut, and 'time release' tablets that come in 50, 100 and 200, that last 12 hours. I was on two 100s daily.. the doctor offered me the 200s during a bad patch, but, thank heavens, I refused. So the problem with cutting back is that you can't! There is no cutting of the time release ones.
I am now down to 75 ml daily after a long time of 100. I do it by 'spacing' the doses since I can't cut them
Having said all that, I just split open a 50ml capsule, and it is full of powder, so I can do it! That makes such a difference!
Cecie, I understand the 'getting stuck' at a dose. I said before that when I was on steroids for a long period (they did keep my alive, so it was worth it), it took forever to jump-start my adrenals to working again... getting off the really low dose was the tough one. Perhaps this is the same, but with seretonin? But I did it in the end, and of course we can do it again. Are you trying the 37.5 one day, 25 the next? When I was on steroids I even did the equivalent of 3.75, 3.75, 25, for a while, then 3.75, 25 ,25 and so on.
I have noticed that Tramal weren't actually helping the pain as much as I thought... I was under the impression the pain was getting worse, but obviously the drugs just weren't doing it anymore.
And yes, there are days that are simply appalling! What I am learning, through experience, and through talking with everyone here, is that they become less. Also it has been enormously helpful to understand the unpredictability of it... as Emily said, it can come at any time, for any amount of time.
But I must say there is an underlying strength to it all - a feeling of getting myself back!
Thank you everyone... and all strength to you!
Sue
Sue aka Beautiful Organica, and all;
Sue you are such a sweetheart really. To write, "And to Emily... I know I keep waxing lyrical about what you are doing here, but it has been such a revelation! What a wonderful service you have created through your own struggle. And how wonderful to be able to do this, not just as non-members of the orthadox medical profession, but despite them."
That makes me very happy. I'm so glad you found it helpful and that others have found their way here. I remember so very well, being so incredibly ill, and having no one who could just tell me how long it would last, what symptoms they had, and what to expect.
I kept thinking, if I could just find someone online who wrote about their experience during Tramadol withdrawal, I would feel so much better. I found a few things. Most of those I copied and pastes into the Journal Itself. I don't really say, "My Journal," because so many other people contributed and so many people helped with ideas. So if it is read from the beginning, it is helpful. I myself just read one of my first entries and was struck with .. "Oh wowooowwwww, I was so out of it. Good Golly, how was I functioning in the world?"
I wasn't functioning in the world. i was in some kind of haze all of the time. Tramadol turned on me so slowly and so ... well, organically, that I didn't notice when it started poisoning me. I noticed in the beginning that all the Doctors were so proud of themselves for getting me off opiates and onto the Tramadol. Even I thought it was the right thing. Mainly because I couldn't find anything that told me it was wrong.
There's still a huge bottle of Tramadol in my house. Why? I'm not going to take them. I barely think about them, I certainly don't crave them. I guess they are here because I don't care? I'll have to give that more thought.
But yes, indeed, forgetting who you truly are at your essence is the Hallmark of Tramadol. It takes away your "pain" (and eventually worsens it) and then it takes away your emotions, your heart, your ability to deal with stress. The ability to "roll with the pinches" to take life as it is. It's a big scary mess, and the only thing that can help is Tramadol? LOL. That's pretty messed up. But I remember thinking that way very very clearly. I remember the panic when I would run out.
I specifically remember that I once decided to do a yoga challenge. It was 100 days of yoga consecutively. (Cause that's very Type A, and I'm quite Type A) SO I decided I would do this and at about day 70, I had no pain, so I stopped taking Tramadol. About 4 days after that, I thought I was DYING. I was of course informed by a horrible now ex-friend, who was a true addict, that I was in withdrawal from the Tramadol. That I was "dependant." Dependant Versus Addicted .. Body doesn't care.
Anyhow, every time I tried to stop I would feel like i was dying and I would be unable to function. And of course, I have a serious physical back injury. But the fact is, the Tramadol wasn't helping me.
Tramateacher you have realized one of the biggest points. Tramadol seems to respond well to a slow taper.
Sue you will get yourself back and it is such a wonderful feeling. It really is so unpredictable. Which, when you think about the way it is chemically built, makes sense. But is tremendously annoying and scary. We used to say that we were "being shelled." Lay low, wait it out. It gets great and good, you think you are done and then WHAMMO!
It passes. The fact you are trying to get off is beautiful.
Kel - hopefully you are still out there, still hopeful and still wanting to get out of the Tramadol trap.
Love and Healing,
Emily
Sue you are such a sweetheart really. To write, "And to Emily... I know I keep waxing lyrical about what you are doing here, but it has been such a revelation! What a wonderful service you have created through your own struggle. And how wonderful to be able to do this, not just as non-members of the orthadox medical profession, but despite them."
That makes me very happy. I'm so glad you found it helpful and that others have found their way here. I remember so very well, being so incredibly ill, and having no one who could just tell me how long it would last, what symptoms they had, and what to expect.
I kept thinking, if I could just find someone online who wrote about their experience during Tramadol withdrawal, I would feel so much better. I found a few things. Most of those I copied and pastes into the Journal Itself. I don't really say, "My Journal," because so many other people contributed and so many people helped with ideas. So if it is read from the beginning, it is helpful. I myself just read one of my first entries and was struck with .. "Oh wowooowwwww, I was so out of it. Good Golly, how was I functioning in the world?"
I wasn't functioning in the world. i was in some kind of haze all of the time. Tramadol turned on me so slowly and so ... well, organically, that I didn't notice when it started poisoning me. I noticed in the beginning that all the Doctors were so proud of themselves for getting me off opiates and onto the Tramadol. Even I thought it was the right thing. Mainly because I couldn't find anything that told me it was wrong.
There's still a huge bottle of Tramadol in my house. Why? I'm not going to take them. I barely think about them, I certainly don't crave them. I guess they are here because I don't care? I'll have to give that more thought.
But yes, indeed, forgetting who you truly are at your essence is the Hallmark of Tramadol. It takes away your "pain" (and eventually worsens it) and then it takes away your emotions, your heart, your ability to deal with stress. The ability to "roll with the pinches" to take life as it is. It's a big scary mess, and the only thing that can help is Tramadol? LOL. That's pretty messed up. But I remember thinking that way very very clearly. I remember the panic when I would run out.
I specifically remember that I once decided to do a yoga challenge. It was 100 days of yoga consecutively. (Cause that's very Type A, and I'm quite Type A) SO I decided I would do this and at about day 70, I had no pain, so I stopped taking Tramadol. About 4 days after that, I thought I was DYING. I was of course informed by a horrible now ex-friend, who was a true addict, that I was in withdrawal from the Tramadol. That I was "dependant." Dependant Versus Addicted .. Body doesn't care.
Anyhow, every time I tried to stop I would feel like i was dying and I would be unable to function. And of course, I have a serious physical back injury. But the fact is, the Tramadol wasn't helping me.
Tramateacher you have realized one of the biggest points. Tramadol seems to respond well to a slow taper.
Sue you will get yourself back and it is such a wonderful feeling. It really is so unpredictable. Which, when you think about the way it is chemically built, makes sense. But is tremendously annoying and scary. We used to say that we were "being shelled." Lay low, wait it out. It gets great and good, you think you are done and then WHAMMO!
It passes. The fact you are trying to get off is beautiful.
Kel - hopefully you are still out there, still hopeful and still wanting to get out of the Tramadol trap.
Love and Healing,
Emily
I am soooo glad to have found this site. I am trying to kick the Tramadol habit and it is so painful. I had 3 different doctors prescribing different dosages. Of course I wasn't taking it all at the same time but I was increasing my dose so that I was needing up to 3 prescriptions to get me through the month. Well, it all came crashing down last friday when my insurance company "flagged" me for possible doctor shopping. I wasn't shopping at all. The docotrs were giving it to me and I thought it wasn't hurting me!!
So...as of Friday all 3 doctors have refused to even treat me. My long time family physician wouldn't even see me to check on my cholesterol medicine or get a flu shot!!! How is that for "helping"?? I had Had 6 200mg. slow release tablets that I have tapered as best I could. Today I took 50 mg. this morning and that is all for today. Tomorrow will be my very last Tramadol. I am not sleeping and am experienceing all the symptoms I ahve read here. I am a 55 yr. old teacher that will be retiring in December. I think God has brought me to thsi crossroad to force me off the Tramadol and get my life back. MY fear of this withdrawal is excruciating. I have taken off the entire week to try to get through the worst. What is the Thoma method? I will have ot look that up.
My family CAN NOT know what is going on because it would devastate them. I have been the rock of this family for the past 5- 6 yrs after caring for my Alzheimers mother and recently having a grandchild diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. The tramadol made it all manageable but on the other hand I was constantly thinking of how to juggle all 3 prescriptions. I want my LIFE back!! I need support though! Is anyone out there for this grandmother?
So...as of Friday all 3 doctors have refused to even treat me. My long time family physician wouldn't even see me to check on my cholesterol medicine or get a flu shot!!! How is that for "helping"?? I had Had 6 200mg. slow release tablets that I have tapered as best I could. Today I took 50 mg. this morning and that is all for today. Tomorrow will be my very last Tramadol. I am not sleeping and am experienceing all the symptoms I ahve read here. I am a 55 yr. old teacher that will be retiring in December. I think God has brought me to thsi crossroad to force me off the Tramadol and get my life back. MY fear of this withdrawal is excruciating. I have taken off the entire week to try to get through the worst. What is the Thoma method? I will have ot look that up.
My family CAN NOT know what is going on because it would devastate them. I have been the rock of this family for the past 5- 6 yrs after caring for my Alzheimers mother and recently having a grandchild diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. The tramadol made it all manageable but on the other hand I was constantly thinking of how to juggle all 3 prescriptions. I want my LIFE back!! I need support though! Is anyone out there for this grandmother?
Hi MarysDaughter;
We're all here for you. I've been off Tramadol for months now. I took it for physical injuries from a car accident. Lower back pain and sciatica. At the end I was on 6-10ish 50 mg capsules. I think it was 5 years I was on Tramadol, but I'm still not very sure.
I do think what has happened to you is a blessing in disguise. Maybe really deep disguise, but nonetheless!
The pain is temporary. Try and focus on making yourself more comfortable.
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/1573
That is a post on Thomas Recipe ... aka The Thomas Detox. It's a discussion of the recipe.
Here's the standardized Thomas Detox Recipe ...
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=76
You are lucky to have a week off, I would get to the store and stock up on things you will need for comfort. Apple Juice, water, soups, vitamins you put in water like emergen-C packages. I'd buy Buy Batherapy by Queen Helene in Lavender. The salts help with hot baths. Immodium AD is great.
Read the entire journal and make a big list of everything you need.
I know you can do it; esp now that you are being forced into it.
And to be honest, one of the things Tramadol does, is it tricks you into thinking it is helpful, when it isn't. Tramadol got you into trouble. Both with Doctors and with an Insurance Company. Nothing good or helpful about that. As far as telling your family, it is up to you. I found that only people who were going thru it could understand. My husband was understanding.
I'm really sorry you find yourself here in this position, but you are NOT alone!
Love and healing,
Emily
We're all here for you. I've been off Tramadol for months now. I took it for physical injuries from a car accident. Lower back pain and sciatica. At the end I was on 6-10ish 50 mg capsules. I think it was 5 years I was on Tramadol, but I'm still not very sure.
I do think what has happened to you is a blessing in disguise. Maybe really deep disguise, but nonetheless!
The pain is temporary. Try and focus on making yourself more comfortable.
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/1573
That is a post on Thomas Recipe ... aka The Thomas Detox. It's a discussion of the recipe.
Here's the standardized Thomas Detox Recipe ...
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=76
You are lucky to have a week off, I would get to the store and stock up on things you will need for comfort. Apple Juice, water, soups, vitamins you put in water like emergen-C packages. I'd buy Buy Batherapy by Queen Helene in Lavender. The salts help with hot baths. Immodium AD is great.
Read the entire journal and make a big list of everything you need.
I know you can do it; esp now that you are being forced into it.
And to be honest, one of the things Tramadol does, is it tricks you into thinking it is helpful, when it isn't. Tramadol got you into trouble. Both with Doctors and with an Insurance Company. Nothing good or helpful about that. As far as telling your family, it is up to you. I found that only people who were going thru it could understand. My husband was understanding.
I'm really sorry you find yourself here in this position, but you are NOT alone!
Love and healing,
Emily
Dearest Emily,
Thak you for taking time ot reply! I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a pain management doctor who does the subrone program?? Do you know much about it, how effective is it, should I do it??
My pain started with fibromyalgia, then a torn ham string on top of it about 5 yrs ago and the pain meds kept increasing. I found myself able to function when I had the tramadol and before long I realized I was hooked. I thought I could come of but everytime I tired the wd symptoms disrupted my life. I didn't have the time to take off. Now that I am retiring from teaching in the next few days, I have a lot of unused sick days to use up. I have family coming in for Thanksgiving and I need to be able to function.
This pain clinic doctor sounded so hopeful and realistic in its expectations. he said I would be able to function and the medicine tricks the brain receptors. I don't want to get hooked on something else??!!
Any advice!?
Marys daughter
Dear MarysDaughter;
The Suboxone Program? For Tramadol withdrawal?
I wouldn't do it. But it is your decision. And I am not a Doctor. I wouldn't want to change Tramadol for something else, because I just wanted off.
I don't know anyone who has done that for Tramadol. Eventually you will need to taper off Suboxone and I actually have no clue how bad that would be. I am 100% certain there are people on this site who know about Suboxone but not for Tramadol withdrawal.
My impression of Pain Management Clinics or Programs has always been bad.
I don't actually think that there is an easy way out of this drug or any drug once you have reached the point you are at. I think you have to be willing to go thru withdrawal. But that's my opinion. I was offered so much medication, but when it came down to the point where more medication was needed, I realized it was all crazy. And I realized Tramadol (and most of the opiates and even muscle relaxants) were turning on me and making my pain worse.
I think your expectations of yourself to be a Superwoman for your Family are honestly in need of serious looking-at. No one can do that. Taking time off because of withdrawal is not a big deal. Dying because you've been drugged for years and are taking too much medication is a big deal. One thing I accepted was that I can't be perfect, and I can't force my body to do more than it can. Regardless of how Type A I am. It's an unhealthy relationship with yourself to be frank, to expect that you will be Superwoman with the Physical and Emotional Challenges you have. Look thru this site and ask questions about Suboxone and the pain clinic you are considering. It's really important to NOT get addicted to something else.
How awful is the Suboxone withdrawal?
You'd be done with the hardest part of Tramadol in 3-4 days and you'd be kind of functional in 7 days.
It's absolutely your decision, but you asked ... so those are my thoughts. I don't think there is an easy way out and I think you are too hard on yourself.
Love and Healing,
Emily
I would not agree to anything without a great deal of research first.
The Suboxone Program? For Tramadol withdrawal?
I wouldn't do it. But it is your decision. And I am not a Doctor. I wouldn't want to change Tramadol for something else, because I just wanted off.
I don't know anyone who has done that for Tramadol. Eventually you will need to taper off Suboxone and I actually have no clue how bad that would be. I am 100% certain there are people on this site who know about Suboxone but not for Tramadol withdrawal.
My impression of Pain Management Clinics or Programs has always been bad.
I don't actually think that there is an easy way out of this drug or any drug once you have reached the point you are at. I think you have to be willing to go thru withdrawal. But that's my opinion. I was offered so much medication, but when it came down to the point where more medication was needed, I realized it was all crazy. And I realized Tramadol (and most of the opiates and even muscle relaxants) were turning on me and making my pain worse.
I think your expectations of yourself to be a Superwoman for your Family are honestly in need of serious looking-at. No one can do that. Taking time off because of withdrawal is not a big deal. Dying because you've been drugged for years and are taking too much medication is a big deal. One thing I accepted was that I can't be perfect, and I can't force my body to do more than it can. Regardless of how Type A I am. It's an unhealthy relationship with yourself to be frank, to expect that you will be Superwoman with the Physical and Emotional Challenges you have. Look thru this site and ask questions about Suboxone and the pain clinic you are considering. It's really important to NOT get addicted to something else.
How awful is the Suboxone withdrawal?
You'd be done with the hardest part of Tramadol in 3-4 days and you'd be kind of functional in 7 days.
It's absolutely your decision, but you asked ... so those are my thoughts. I don't think there is an easy way out and I think you are too hard on yourself.
Love and Healing,
Emily
I would not agree to anything without a great deal of research first.
Emily,
Thank you for your input. I am going to do some more research and talk with the doctor before I make a decision. I do NOT want to get hooked on something else for certain. Your insight is spot on! My decision making skills are somewhat cloudy I am afraid. I am hurting, sick to my stomach, had a migraine tonight, and just miserable. Oh Lord, how did I get myself into this mess. I am an educated person who hated watching my Dad go through this alcohol and tranquilizer addiction in the 60's and 70's when not much was available. I inherited his propensity for addiction I am afraid.
I think I have been self-medicating my depression. I had no idea about the dirty little secret of Tramadol being not only pain but serotonin properties. Doctors think this stuff is safe, give it to you, and then think you can just stop taking it. I am sure a beautiful little drug rep. told them all about it's NON-Narcotic properties. My doctor told me he was giving me something safer after my ham string tear. I had never heard of tramadol but boy did it make me feel better, not high, just better. Like some of you have said, it is a devil drug that is getting thousands of folks just like me hooked.
If anyone has been given this drug, PLEASE do not take it. The cost is too high a price to pay for momentary relief. I would have been the LAST person on earth to have ever gotten addicted but I did. Admitting that is hard but truthful.
Pray for me as I take this journey to recovery..
Thanks Emily
Thank you for your input. I am going to do some more research and talk with the doctor before I make a decision. I do NOT want to get hooked on something else for certain. Your insight is spot on! My decision making skills are somewhat cloudy I am afraid. I am hurting, sick to my stomach, had a migraine tonight, and just miserable. Oh Lord, how did I get myself into this mess. I am an educated person who hated watching my Dad go through this alcohol and tranquilizer addiction in the 60's and 70's when not much was available. I inherited his propensity for addiction I am afraid.
I think I have been self-medicating my depression. I had no idea about the dirty little secret of Tramadol being not only pain but serotonin properties. Doctors think this stuff is safe, give it to you, and then think you can just stop taking it. I am sure a beautiful little drug rep. told them all about it's NON-Narcotic properties. My doctor told me he was giving me something safer after my ham string tear. I had never heard of tramadol but boy did it make me feel better, not high, just better. Like some of you have said, it is a devil drug that is getting thousands of folks just like me hooked.
If anyone has been given this drug, PLEASE do not take it. The cost is too high a price to pay for momentary relief. I would have been the LAST person on earth to have ever gotten addicted but I did. Admitting that is hard but truthful.
Pray for me as I take this journey to recovery..
Thanks Emily
Dear Marysdaughter,
Your story really touched a cord with me.. I am in the throws of getting off this awful drug, given to me, too, for fibromyalgia that was and still is extreme. I too had a drug-addicted father, and I think I too have been self-medicating depression. Your insights, and your bravery in facing them, are making me face my own.
It is all so insidious, isn't it! I specifically asked my doctor for non-addictive pain relief and she gave me Tramadol.
But the wonderful thing is finding this site!... There is a wealth of information, and those of us going through this, or been through it, can support each other. I keep singing Emily's praises, but look how many people have benefitted from this site.
Emily is obviously skeptical of medical advice and intervention in all of this, and I really must agree with her on that. I'm not sure that they really have any idea. How could they when they treat people like a pariahs when they cannot get off the drugs the doctors so freely administer?
Whatever you choose to do, good luck, all strength and prayers,
Sue
Your story really touched a cord with me.. I am in the throws of getting off this awful drug, given to me, too, for fibromyalgia that was and still is extreme. I too had a drug-addicted father, and I think I too have been self-medicating depression. Your insights, and your bravery in facing them, are making me face my own.
It is all so insidious, isn't it! I specifically asked my doctor for non-addictive pain relief and she gave me Tramadol.
But the wonderful thing is finding this site!... There is a wealth of information, and those of us going through this, or been through it, can support each other. I keep singing Emily's praises, but look how many people have benefitted from this site.
Emily is obviously skeptical of medical advice and intervention in all of this, and I really must agree with her on that. I'm not sure that they really have any idea. How could they when they treat people like a pariahs when they cannot get off the drugs the doctors so freely administer?
Whatever you choose to do, good luck, all strength and prayers,
Sue
Emily & Sue, (sorry but this is a long post)
I did my research, prayed a LOT, went to the Dr. and I have either made a good decision or a horrible one. You guys will just have to stick with me and see how things go. When I got to the Dr.'s office I realized she wasn't a pain management Dr. but a psychiatrist! In fact, I had had a lot of dealings with her professionally because she has treated many of my school children over the years and some adult friends. I guess the wd fogg kept me from recognizing the name or specialty. Can I say Tramafog!!
I had a very favorable opinion of her professionally from my past dealings so I was somewhat relieved on that count. I knew her to be very conservative in her treatment and very compassionate. She has a very good reputation and is not flashy like a lot of the Pain clinics/dr.s around here.
She talked to me and worked with me for over 2 hours if you can believe that? Fortunately I have very good insurance but I did have to pay cash up front for the first visit. She and I both agree that I have been self medicating myself for years for issues that go waaaaaay back to childhood. I am not one of these people who blame all my problems on the fact that my parents looked at me sideways one day and left me permanently scarred. However, I do have some messy abuse issues that I have NEVER told anyone alive on the planet. Soooo I think my "pain" issues have their origins in an entirely different vein than I ever realized.
I also have some significant heart health issues that she thought a "cold turkey" approach would intensify and possibly be dangerous. She was also in agreement with all of our assessments on the antidepressent aspects of tramadol and the fact that doctors are prescribing it without really understanding its addictive properties.
I AM going to use the Suboxone but only at 4mg 2x daily The lowest dose is 8mg. but I have done so well on the first dose I got to cut this morning's dose in half and it was more than adequate. She also prescribed Cymbalta to counteract the wd from the SSRI properties and also get me on a legitimate plan to treat my depression. Cymbalta is particularly good for Fibro in my research. She and I talked about Lyrica but I told her I had tried it twice and Lyrica made me feel horrible. She also feels like my recovery will be a matter of a few months (approx. 6 months) but of course, as she reiterated, no one has a crystal ball but God. I had to write down my goals of what I thought would be a successful outcome and what my expectations were of the program.
I will go weekly for personal therapy sessions and some group sessions if she thinks I need more support. I came out of there feeling like someone actually "knew" my dirty little secret and was going to help me in a realistic plan that won't put me in danger of a heart attack or seizure.
She was very realistic and told me not to expect complete pain relief all the time. She believes getting to the root of my need to self medicate will allow me to take control of my life. With a doctor medically supervising me I won't be in as much danger. I have to carry a medical alert card along with a whole list of things I need to do anytime I go to a dentist, doctor, etc....
I have an appointment with a new Family Dr. on Dec. 1st since my old one "dropped me". My "Psych" (good grief, I am officially crazy) Dr. will work closely with the Internist to keep tabs on my heart and other health issues. This way everyone knows what I am taking and no more secrets with my medical professionals. I plan to tell my husband that my new doctor is a psychiatrist but no more than that. My sweet husband is having some health issues and he doesn't need this bomb dropped on him. He will be Ok since he knows how I battle anxiety and depression. I will eventually tell him when the time is right. God has a way of showing me or forcing me into facing my demons on His time schedule.
I know you guys may not approve and I may be wrong, but for now I have to take this step. I feel good about it but will not stop praying and asking God to give me wisdom and discernment concerning these decisions. I would appreciate the opportunity to remain here and report my progress either good or bad. I still need support and input from many sources.
I slept some better last night and still have some wd symptoms since I am not taking large doses. I don't want to be completely pain free. I want to FEEL , does everyone understand the need to feel and not mask the feelings???
So..I begin my journey... God be with me and ALL of us here battling this demon!!!
Marys Daughter
I did my research, prayed a LOT, went to the Dr. and I have either made a good decision or a horrible one. You guys will just have to stick with me and see how things go. When I got to the Dr.'s office I realized she wasn't a pain management Dr. but a psychiatrist! In fact, I had had a lot of dealings with her professionally because she has treated many of my school children over the years and some adult friends. I guess the wd fogg kept me from recognizing the name or specialty. Can I say Tramafog!!
I had a very favorable opinion of her professionally from my past dealings so I was somewhat relieved on that count. I knew her to be very conservative in her treatment and very compassionate. She has a very good reputation and is not flashy like a lot of the Pain clinics/dr.s around here.
She talked to me and worked with me for over 2 hours if you can believe that? Fortunately I have very good insurance but I did have to pay cash up front for the first visit. She and I both agree that I have been self medicating myself for years for issues that go waaaaaay back to childhood. I am not one of these people who blame all my problems on the fact that my parents looked at me sideways one day and left me permanently scarred. However, I do have some messy abuse issues that I have NEVER told anyone alive on the planet. Soooo I think my "pain" issues have their origins in an entirely different vein than I ever realized.
I also have some significant heart health issues that she thought a "cold turkey" approach would intensify and possibly be dangerous. She was also in agreement with all of our assessments on the antidepressent aspects of tramadol and the fact that doctors are prescribing it without really understanding its addictive properties.
I AM going to use the Suboxone but only at 4mg 2x daily The lowest dose is 8mg. but I have done so well on the first dose I got to cut this morning's dose in half and it was more than adequate. She also prescribed Cymbalta to counteract the wd from the SSRI properties and also get me on a legitimate plan to treat my depression. Cymbalta is particularly good for Fibro in my research. She and I talked about Lyrica but I told her I had tried it twice and Lyrica made me feel horrible. She also feels like my recovery will be a matter of a few months (approx. 6 months) but of course, as she reiterated, no one has a crystal ball but God. I had to write down my goals of what I thought would be a successful outcome and what my expectations were of the program.
I will go weekly for personal therapy sessions and some group sessions if she thinks I need more support. I came out of there feeling like someone actually "knew" my dirty little secret and was going to help me in a realistic plan that won't put me in danger of a heart attack or seizure.
She was very realistic and told me not to expect complete pain relief all the time. She believes getting to the root of my need to self medicate will allow me to take control of my life. With a doctor medically supervising me I won't be in as much danger. I have to carry a medical alert card along with a whole list of things I need to do anytime I go to a dentist, doctor, etc....
I have an appointment with a new Family Dr. on Dec. 1st since my old one "dropped me". My "Psych" (good grief, I am officially crazy) Dr. will work closely with the Internist to keep tabs on my heart and other health issues. This way everyone knows what I am taking and no more secrets with my medical professionals. I plan to tell my husband that my new doctor is a psychiatrist but no more than that. My sweet husband is having some health issues and he doesn't need this bomb dropped on him. He will be Ok since he knows how I battle anxiety and depression. I will eventually tell him when the time is right. God has a way of showing me or forcing me into facing my demons on His time schedule.
I know you guys may not approve and I may be wrong, but for now I have to take this step. I feel good about it but will not stop praying and asking God to give me wisdom and discernment concerning these decisions. I would appreciate the opportunity to remain here and report my progress either good or bad. I still need support and input from many sources.
I slept some better last night and still have some wd symptoms since I am not taking large doses. I don't want to be completely pain free. I want to FEEL , does everyone understand the need to feel and not mask the feelings???
So..I begin my journey... God be with me and ALL of us here battling this demon!!!
Marys Daughter
Dear Marys Daughter,
I'm sure no-one here will feel it is their right to approve or disapprove - you do what you feel is right.
I am concerned, however, about the Cymbalta, more than anything else. I actually hadn't heard of it before, but I researched it and it looks a little like a 'fryingpan into the fire' scenario.
I also really understand how difficult it is to remember and to make descisions considering the circumstances. I am doing a gradual taper and can feel my mind slowly returning. I eat better (Tramadol seemed to tell me that junk food was just fine!), and spend less (I was never materialistic, but the stuff I have accumulated since being on this drug! It is so weird!). Tell that to a doctor and they would really look at me strangely! I have made bad decisions based on fear. Before tramadol, all my decisions were based on morality and the good of the whole (sounds very pious, I know, but that's me). So not recognising the doctor is really par for the course.
I am wondering whether it is worth actually telling someone - I am so private, and live alone.. I have a friend whom I know would be absolutely non-judgemental, and yet I don't do it. I am wondering whether it is just my ego getting in the way and that it would feel good if someone knew. I know that you now have the doctor, but I was just wondering whether telling your husband would help. Just a thought. I think if anyone saw this profile, their 'blame response' would be lessened or would disappear altogether.
And yes, not completely removing the pain makes us human, doesn't it?
Would you consider learning meditation techniques? The ones that work for me are those that allow us to be a witness to what we are going through.. to find the part of us that is peaceful and calm and wise, and watch the rest. It takes time to learn, but it is helping me. And to try, as much as possible, to be in the moment. That means letting go of the "what will they think if??, the "what if I can't", the "I'm managing now but what about tomorrow" etc. I think, somehow, you may be doing that already, as you do want to feel, not avoid.
I've had a horrendous couple of days, but I keep remembering what Emily said about how it comes and goes - you can be great for a while and then whammo! But it always gets better, and for longer.
The very best of luck, Marys Daughter... I would love to hear how you are going.
Sue
I'm sure no-one here will feel it is their right to approve or disapprove - you do what you feel is right.
I am concerned, however, about the Cymbalta, more than anything else. I actually hadn't heard of it before, but I researched it and it looks a little like a 'fryingpan into the fire' scenario.
I also really understand how difficult it is to remember and to make descisions considering the circumstances. I am doing a gradual taper and can feel my mind slowly returning. I eat better (Tramadol seemed to tell me that junk food was just fine!), and spend less (I was never materialistic, but the stuff I have accumulated since being on this drug! It is so weird!). Tell that to a doctor and they would really look at me strangely! I have made bad decisions based on fear. Before tramadol, all my decisions were based on morality and the good of the whole (sounds very pious, I know, but that's me). So not recognising the doctor is really par for the course.
I am wondering whether it is worth actually telling someone - I am so private, and live alone.. I have a friend whom I know would be absolutely non-judgemental, and yet I don't do it. I am wondering whether it is just my ego getting in the way and that it would feel good if someone knew. I know that you now have the doctor, but I was just wondering whether telling your husband would help. Just a thought. I think if anyone saw this profile, their 'blame response' would be lessened or would disappear altogether.
And yes, not completely removing the pain makes us human, doesn't it?
Would you consider learning meditation techniques? The ones that work for me are those that allow us to be a witness to what we are going through.. to find the part of us that is peaceful and calm and wise, and watch the rest. It takes time to learn, but it is helping me. And to try, as much as possible, to be in the moment. That means letting go of the "what will they think if??, the "what if I can't", the "I'm managing now but what about tomorrow" etc. I think, somehow, you may be doing that already, as you do want to feel, not avoid.
I've had a horrendous couple of days, but I keep remembering what Emily said about how it comes and goes - you can be great for a while and then whammo! But it always gets better, and for longer.
The very best of luck, Marys Daughter... I would love to hear how you are going.
Sue
I am truly amazed by all of you who have courageously shared your experience on this site. I am writing in hopes of extracting some info regarding my particular situation. I have had bouts with painkiller addictions before, but none have been like this, as you are all well aware. I saw the bottle in my relatives medicine cabinet and, like always, I researched the drug on the internet. The minute I read that Tramadol was a synthetic opiate, I was obliged to give them a try. Of course, I never thought to Google withdrawal symptoms at that time. I did not even like them, they elicited no feel good effect like vicodin or percocet, but they did help me sleep long hours which has not been possible in years. All I read on the internet is that they are not addictive and they are considered much weaker than any of the other opiates I had loved. I started popping two 50mgs a day for sleep. I was happy to be getting sleep and I lied to myself time and time again that I would only take them when I truly needed to sleep. OF COURSE, I am now addicted. The reason why I am writing, and I do apologize for the rambling of the stuff you all already know, is that I have been taking two a day for two months and I tried not to take any today and felt horrible. Could I be withdrawing from this meager amount for this short of a term? Is this stuff that powerful? I redressed the situation by taking a pill. I decided I would only take one and then a half tomorrow but I feel horrific and need another. Now that I am writing this I am starting to realize how silly it is. I am obviously addicted and I need to withdraw. I suppose my new reason for writing this is to warn others of how quickly you can get addicted and how little you can be taking. I have taken vicodin over months before (for real pain) and suffered no withdrawal symptoms. If I had my own prescription I would look into suing just to help lift the guise of this drug.
Hi, myownfault,
It is interesting how the drug affects people differently.. and of course that also means how it affects withdrawal. I didn't even try getting off it at two months, as it was prescribed for the problem and was, at that stage, working wonders!
But I would not be at all suprised if it is problematic at that stage.. at least you have caught it early!
I cannot speak for Emily, who is the exceptionally brave woman who started this. However I am doing the slow taper technique...I have been on it for many years, at up to 3 times the dose you are taking.
But it is such early days... can you just take the time out and stop them? If you read through all the posts, you will have an idea of what to do and expect.
As for suing.. I thing the only thing that would work in that area is a group action, lots of money, and very clever and dedicated lawyers..
Please do this now... you really have caught it before it becomes just so difficult.
The very best of luck,
Sue
It is interesting how the drug affects people differently.. and of course that also means how it affects withdrawal. I didn't even try getting off it at two months, as it was prescribed for the problem and was, at that stage, working wonders!
But I would not be at all suprised if it is problematic at that stage.. at least you have caught it early!
I cannot speak for Emily, who is the exceptionally brave woman who started this. However I am doing the slow taper technique...I have been on it for many years, at up to 3 times the dose you are taking.
But it is such early days... can you just take the time out and stop them? If you read through all the posts, you will have an idea of what to do and expect.
As for suing.. I thing the only thing that would work in that area is a group action, lots of money, and very clever and dedicated lawyers..
Please do this now... you really have caught it before it becomes just so difficult.
The very best of luck,
Sue
I am still here and still on tramadol. I actually convinced my doctor to let me have a "care free" Thanksgiving and Christmas without having to worry about withdrawaling from tramadol. I am terrified for the time they say no more.... I was reading about the Serotonin properties of tramadol and I realized this must be why I haven't had any migraines since I have been on tramadol. So, I am still battling with whether or not I should quit. I don't know, I like how it makes me feel and not having migraines is definitely an added bonus, but I know somewhere deep inside that I need off of it too. Some days, its all i think about, and most days, I worry about being able to get more, it consumes me............... I know what I have to do, but I am scared.
Dear kel226,
I can just feel your fear! Your words could me my words when I first realized I had a problem. This stuff gets you quickly and at low doses. I realize now that the early doses of 37.5w/tylenol were even getting me hooked. When I ran out of that first prescription, those horrible restless legs set in and I immediately thought it was the pain from my torn ham string getting worse OR the Fibromyalgia flaring back up. I now know it was tramadol withdrawal.
At my age, I have arthritis, fibro, and carpal tunnel along with a myriad of knee/shoulder issues. Tramadol is the drug of choice with doctors these days and my primary care doctor told me to take it for my fibro. Of course every other doctor was telling me the same thing and all of a sudden I had 3 prescriptions! I had no intention of doctor shopping but there it was....enough tramadol to take the pain away and feel "normal". I could get so much done and feel so good, not high, just good. There was the antidepressent properties.
Then came the refill issue and after 3 yrs. it caught up with me. My insurance company flagged me and I was left with nothing! In all honesty, it was the best thing that could have happened because I have been forced to face my demon. I had a few pills left to taper for 4 days but then I was on my own. That is when I found this post and research on suboxone. I found a doctor locally that treated on an out patient basis, called and as of Friday, I have been on that treatment. This doctor is a psychiatrist (which really freaked me out at first but then I don't have many options at this point) and has a very good track record. In my line of work, I have actually had professional dealings with her but of course we had never met face to face.
I am on the lowest dose available and having very minor wd symptoms. I can sleep and function and hopefully this treatment will be complete by Spring. At least that is my prayer. I, too, wanted a stress free holiday and then realized that my lack of prayer and alone time with the Lord is how I got in this predicament. I am a woman of strong faith but things like this can happen to anyone 5 seconds out from under the umbrella of His protection. I have felt so weak and allowed my pride to not let me seek help. I'm still unable to tell my husband. he is not in good health and this would kill him. I just have to believe that My Lord is going to help get me through this. I have to be willing to accept responsibility and face the pain.
I went to TurntoHelpNow.com and found a local doctor that trreated on an outpatient basis. You may want to check it out. Like everyone ahs said, we are all trying to find out way and no one can say one way is better than another. Facing the need to get off of Tramadol is the first step
You will have others to support you here on this post. Emily has so graciously made this venue available for us. She is the one to be commended for having the guts to make her struggle visible for all of us needing help.
Keep posting and praying
Marysdaughter
I can just feel your fear! Your words could me my words when I first realized I had a problem. This stuff gets you quickly and at low doses. I realize now that the early doses of 37.5w/tylenol were even getting me hooked. When I ran out of that first prescription, those horrible restless legs set in and I immediately thought it was the pain from my torn ham string getting worse OR the Fibromyalgia flaring back up. I now know it was tramadol withdrawal.
At my age, I have arthritis, fibro, and carpal tunnel along with a myriad of knee/shoulder issues. Tramadol is the drug of choice with doctors these days and my primary care doctor told me to take it for my fibro. Of course every other doctor was telling me the same thing and all of a sudden I had 3 prescriptions! I had no intention of doctor shopping but there it was....enough tramadol to take the pain away and feel "normal". I could get so much done and feel so good, not high, just good. There was the antidepressent properties.
Then came the refill issue and after 3 yrs. it caught up with me. My insurance company flagged me and I was left with nothing! In all honesty, it was the best thing that could have happened because I have been forced to face my demon. I had a few pills left to taper for 4 days but then I was on my own. That is when I found this post and research on suboxone. I found a doctor locally that treated on an out patient basis, called and as of Friday, I have been on that treatment. This doctor is a psychiatrist (which really freaked me out at first but then I don't have many options at this point) and has a very good track record. In my line of work, I have actually had professional dealings with her but of course we had never met face to face.
I am on the lowest dose available and having very minor wd symptoms. I can sleep and function and hopefully this treatment will be complete by Spring. At least that is my prayer. I, too, wanted a stress free holiday and then realized that my lack of prayer and alone time with the Lord is how I got in this predicament. I am a woman of strong faith but things like this can happen to anyone 5 seconds out from under the umbrella of His protection. I have felt so weak and allowed my pride to not let me seek help. I'm still unable to tell my husband. he is not in good health and this would kill him. I just have to believe that My Lord is going to help get me through this. I have to be willing to accept responsibility and face the pain.
I went to TurntoHelpNow.com and found a local doctor that trreated on an outpatient basis. You may want to check it out. Like everyone ahs said, we are all trying to find out way and no one can say one way is better than another. Facing the need to get off of Tramadol is the first step
You will have others to support you here on this post. Emily has so graciously made this venue available for us. She is the one to be commended for having the guts to make her struggle visible for all of us needing help.
Keep posting and praying
Marysdaughter
Organica,
I appreciate your input as well and am returning to my "quiet times" alone in prayer. You are right when you speak of finding that part of us that is peaceful and calm. I had gotten in such a whirlwind of "doing" that I pushed this part of my life completely out. Living alone must be difficult at times especially when you are going through what we are going through. However, I am not alone physically in the house like you but I am still fighting this battle on my own. I take that back! I was trying to fight it on my own and God reminded me He was still there..I was the only one who had moved. Events conspired to the degree that I believe it was God directing me to this outpatient treatment plan I am on. I told God I was too stupid to know anybetter so He had better close the doors that needed closed and open the ones needing opened or I was one Mighty weapon of mass destruction headed for ignition.
I appreciate the responses and hope I can be of help to someone else as I try to get off this stuff.
Blessings to everyone
I appreciate your input as well and am returning to my "quiet times" alone in prayer. You are right when you speak of finding that part of us that is peaceful and calm. I had gotten in such a whirlwind of "doing" that I pushed this part of my life completely out. Living alone must be difficult at times especially when you are going through what we are going through. However, I am not alone physically in the house like you but I am still fighting this battle on my own. I take that back! I was trying to fight it on my own and God reminded me He was still there..I was the only one who had moved. Events conspired to the degree that I believe it was God directing me to this outpatient treatment plan I am on. I told God I was too stupid to know anybetter so He had better close the doors that needed closed and open the ones needing opened or I was one Mighty weapon of mass destruction headed for ignition.
I appreciate the responses and hope I can be of help to someone else as I try to get off this stuff.
Blessings to everyone
MarysDaughter..
One of the most effective organisations for working with addiction is alcoholics anonymous, and the 'soul' of their 12 point plan is giving oneself over to a Higher Good.. So it is wonderful that you already have that faith to sustain you!
peace and strength,
Sue
One of the most effective organisations for working with addiction is alcoholics anonymous, and the 'soul' of their 12 point plan is giving oneself over to a Higher Good.. So it is wonderful that you already have that faith to sustain you!
peace and strength,
Sue
A question..
I was kept awake all last night with the most phenomenal itch! I remember when I first started on this drug there was a bit of an itch involved, so I wouldn't have expected it as a withdrew.
Of course it could be something else altogether (that's the trouble with this process - we tend to attach everything to the process and something else could be going on, so, once again, SO GRATEFUL for this post!!)
It was only on one side of my body, but it moved all over that side... I had to go to bed with a wooden spoon so I could reach the really tricky bits :)
Has anyone had anything like this?
And Kel... It is so tempting not to face it, but you are!...you keep coming back to the 'get off it' option. Stay strong and you know you will be able to do this..
Peace and strength,
Sue
I was kept awake all last night with the most phenomenal itch! I remember when I first started on this drug there was a bit of an itch involved, so I wouldn't have expected it as a withdrew.
Of course it could be something else altogether (that's the trouble with this process - we tend to attach everything to the process and something else could be going on, so, once again, SO GRATEFUL for this post!!)
It was only on one side of my body, but it moved all over that side... I had to go to bed with a wooden spoon so I could reach the really tricky bits :)
Has anyone had anything like this?
And Kel... It is so tempting not to face it, but you are!...you keep coming back to the 'get off it' option. Stay strong and you know you will be able to do this..
Peace and strength,
Sue
I have been taking Tramadol for 5 months now for Osteoarthristis. I couldn't beleive how much it helped the pain. I thought I had found the greatest drug out there. It also helped that I started losing weight. I started off taking 4 50mg pills a day and then I cut back to two. I have not tried to come off of them because the only real side effect I have had is weight loss. I went from 150lbs to 135lbs over a 5 month period.
My question is Has anyone else the side effect of losing weight? I have heard of people taking Tramadol to lose weight but gained it all back when they got off of it.
I would like to stop taking it and see how I feel but after reading your blog, I am scared to death. Is there any long term side effects or dangers of taking this.
Thanks
Rhonda
My question is Has anyone else the side effect of losing weight? I have heard of people taking Tramadol to lose weight but gained it all back when they got off of it.
I would like to stop taking it and see how I feel but after reading your blog, I am scared to death. Is there any long term side effects or dangers of taking this.
Thanks
Rhonda
Hi Rhonda,
I think that the weight loss is probably far more likely to be because you are able to be more active.. pain really slows us down! If you had an alternative medication that worked it may do the same thing.
As for long term side effects, I guess you mean other than the withdrawal factor. I would have to say that this drug changed me considerably. I have been on it for many years, and am now down to a third of the original dose. I feel as though I am getting myself back. It is such a revelation that, no matter how difficult the withdrawal, I am not even the slightest bit tempted to up my dose again. For a while there, I WAS tramadol - very little 'me' left.
Also, the pain relief did not last, for me at least. I thought my pain was worsening, but I now know the drug was losing potency, pain-wise.
Emily, whose post this is, gives indepth descriptions of her experience with the drug, as do the others whom she has encouraged to post with their stories.
I know we all sound very negative about the drug, but for good reason.
Very best wishes,
Sue
I think that the weight loss is probably far more likely to be because you are able to be more active.. pain really slows us down! If you had an alternative medication that worked it may do the same thing.
As for long term side effects, I guess you mean other than the withdrawal factor. I would have to say that this drug changed me considerably. I have been on it for many years, and am now down to a third of the original dose. I feel as though I am getting myself back. It is such a revelation that, no matter how difficult the withdrawal, I am not even the slightest bit tempted to up my dose again. For a while there, I WAS tramadol - very little 'me' left.
Also, the pain relief did not last, for me at least. I thought my pain was worsening, but I now know the drug was losing potency, pain-wise.
Emily, whose post this is, gives indepth descriptions of her experience with the drug, as do the others whom she has encouraged to post with their stories.
I know we all sound very negative about the drug, but for good reason.
Very best wishes,
Sue
I appreciate all of your struggles with tramadol. I have been free of it for 2 and 1/2 months. I did a gradual taper which is much better than cold turkey which I have also done several times.
What I want everyone to know is how tramadol lowers your threshold for seizures. I had one behind the wheel. Luckily, the car was just parked and no one was hurt but I had to be rescued by police breaking my window to get me out. The neurologist said he sees at least 4 cases of tramadol related seizures a year in his office alone.
I'm still having trouble sleeping and continue to have restless legs at night. It feels like the drug is still attached to some of my cells. It feels like metal shards dig in and don't let go completely. I think that's why the with-drawls come and go and last so long.
Thanks for this helpful forum.
What I want everyone to know is how tramadol lowers your threshold for seizures. I had one behind the wheel. Luckily, the car was just parked and no one was hurt but I had to be rescued by police breaking my window to get me out. The neurologist said he sees at least 4 cases of tramadol related seizures a year in his office alone.
I'm still having trouble sleeping and continue to have restless legs at night. It feels like the drug is still attached to some of my cells. It feels like metal shards dig in and don't let go completely. I think that's why the with-drawls come and go and last so long.
Thanks for this helpful forum.
Organica, I remember having intense itching with tramadol in the beginning and come to think of it I was itching as a wd symptom as well. I was feeling so crappy that itching was the least of my worries. It must be part of the nervous system, don't you think? How is it doing now? Hope you are doing weel especially before the holidays.
Rainlace, you are very lucky your seizure didn't have worse consequences! The restless legs is the worse wd symptom with tramadol. I wanted to scream! I couldn't find any relief. Heating pad would give SOME relief but not for long.
I am 8 days off tramadol and on the outpatient suboxne program. It is the best decision I have made since getting on this stuff. I am under the care of one doctor and she thinks I am doing great! I began on 16 mg. of suboxone but didn't need that much. In 3 days I was already using 4 mg 2x daily and next month I will go to 2mg. 2x daily I have tried 2mg with no wd symptoms but I was given a medical reason why I shouldn't mess with the dosage right now. I feel like I am on track to being free of all drugs. No more worrying about getting a refill or will the doctor prescribe it again. You were so right when you said it wasn't the pain getting worse but the need for more tramadol!!! Oh deceptive this drug is!!!
Please do not use this drug for more than one prescription. It is addictive at very low doses and quickly. It doesn't happen to everyone but you don't know if you will be the one. I would never have dreamed it would have been me! I had never taken drugs or even drank before. I was a very sober person who prided myself on self-control. I realized quickly that in my own strength, I am helpless. 5 seconds away from the protective hand of God, and I am no better than the drug addict on the street. I am humbled by God's mercy and grace.
I pray everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving. May God help us all through our struggle.
Marys Daughter
Rainlace, you are very lucky your seizure didn't have worse consequences! The restless legs is the worse wd symptom with tramadol. I wanted to scream! I couldn't find any relief. Heating pad would give SOME relief but not for long.
I am 8 days off tramadol and on the outpatient suboxne program. It is the best decision I have made since getting on this stuff. I am under the care of one doctor and she thinks I am doing great! I began on 16 mg. of suboxone but didn't need that much. In 3 days I was already using 4 mg 2x daily and next month I will go to 2mg. 2x daily I have tried 2mg with no wd symptoms but I was given a medical reason why I shouldn't mess with the dosage right now. I feel like I am on track to being free of all drugs. No more worrying about getting a refill or will the doctor prescribe it again. You were so right when you said it wasn't the pain getting worse but the need for more tramadol!!! Oh deceptive this drug is!!!
Please do not use this drug for more than one prescription. It is addictive at very low doses and quickly. It doesn't happen to everyone but you don't know if you will be the one. I would never have dreamed it would have been me! I had never taken drugs or even drank before. I was a very sober person who prided myself on self-control. I realized quickly that in my own strength, I am helpless. 5 seconds away from the protective hand of God, and I am no better than the drug addict on the street. I am humbled by God's mercy and grace.
I pray everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving. May God help us all through our struggle.
Marys Daughter
Marysdaughter, that is interesting regarding the itching. I had it at when I started taking tramadol, and it was just mild. But this itching is extreme. Last night it drove me crazy!
It is very warm and humid here, so maybe that exacerbates the situation. I am simply assuming it is part of the withdrawal. I am down to around 75mg daily, which is still a lot, considering how I'm feeling. Yesterday was 50, and that may be why the itching was so bad last night. And there is quite a bit of 'dark night of the soul' stuff.
But I'll get there.. we all will!
It is very warm and humid here, so maybe that exacerbates the situation. I am simply assuming it is part of the withdrawal. I am down to around 75mg daily, which is still a lot, considering how I'm feeling. Yesterday was 50, and that may be why the itching was so bad last night. And there is quite a bit of 'dark night of the soul' stuff.
But I'll get there.. we all will!
can you go thru withdrawal from tramadol after 6 days of using 4-8 50mg everyday? I used them to help in getting off off suboxone..2mg. I know it wasnt the best idea, and now Im regreting it..but I have to face the consequences. I just want to know what to expect. I tapered off the suboxone correctly, however felt crappy two days after I planned to stop. I thought tramadol was safe and it would just help me get over the hump. Now reading this I realize I was wrong. I only have been taking them for 6 days. 4-8mg a day as the docter told me to take two..its for my endometrosis. Like I said I thought I was taken something safe...will I experience withdrawal? Thank you for any responses...I really need them to keep my strength..this has been a long road for me and I thought I finally won the battle and now Im afraid I messed that up!
dyingfornormality, it is really hard to make calls on this as you are in such a position. But I have been doing a lot of research and it seems that it is quite feasible to have withdrawal at a very early stage.. a week could be quite possible.
Having said that, I am going through pure hell after years on it, and I am still tapering. So PLEASE don't make the mistake of staying on it for longer than is absolutely necessary.
Peace and strength,
Sue
Having said that, I am going through pure hell after years on it, and I am still tapering. So PLEASE don't make the mistake of staying on it for longer than is absolutely necessary.
Peace and strength,
Sue
I have just been browsing back over past posts and saw a link Emily had provided that indicated that there is some evidence that long-term Tramal use could cause peripheral neuropathy.
Just before I tapered off, I was unable to use my right arm, and peripheral neuropathy was the diagnosis. The pain went from my shoulder to my fingers and my arm was swollen. I can definitely equate the time it started to ease to a couple of weeks after I started to taper my dose. Now the incredible itch I have is in the same area.
Generally, the symptoms of long term use and of withdrawal really feel like, and create symptoms of, very bad diseases. I thought I had everything from more auto-immune diseases to cancer.
Now I am just trying very hard to get off this jolly thing so I can see myself as I really am.
Onwards and Upwards!!
Just before I tapered off, I was unable to use my right arm, and peripheral neuropathy was the diagnosis. The pain went from my shoulder to my fingers and my arm was swollen. I can definitely equate the time it started to ease to a couple of weeks after I started to taper my dose. Now the incredible itch I have is in the same area.
Generally, the symptoms of long term use and of withdrawal really feel like, and create symptoms of, very bad diseases. I thought I had everything from more auto-immune diseases to cancer.
Now I am just trying very hard to get off this jolly thing so I can see myself as I really am.
Onwards and Upwards!!
Dearest Sue;
Yep. Big study showing that after a year of use, Tramadol (even at normal low doses) can cause neuropathy. The pain I had in my right leg (sciatica and nerve damage from Big Car Accident One) was intensified by the Tramadol. I actually wanted to rip off my own leg. When in early withdrawal I had to wrap my leg with ace bandages and Velcro ice packs to it.
Like you the area I felt withdrawal into, was an area I noticed a great deal when I first started Tramadol.
I'm so glad you are tapering and you are doing such a beautiful job at it too!
I agree with this, "Generally, the symptoms of long term use and of withdrawal really feel like, and create symptoms of, very bad diseases. I thought I had everything from more auto-immune diseases to cancer."
So true. If you read the whole Journal there's a very kind man whose wife was told she had LUPUS. She didn't. She had Tramadol. So annoying.
I was laughing cause, I wish I had been thinking more clearly to get a wooden spoon for itching! Yes, I had it too. I also had loss of appetite (not in a good way ... made me crave junk food) and more importantly loss of SELF. Loss of laughter, loss of joy. In the beginning diminished pain, but not diminished enough to say that it was indeed "managing my pain."
It just took ahold of me so quickly. The Suicidal Ideation scared me to death!! I so wish I had known that was from the drug. I still do not believe for one second that the Doctors do not know the potential dangers of Tramadol. Not for a moment do I believe that. I believe they are culpable. Responsible for making people into addicts or making tem dependant. Which when you get down to taking the Tramadol is kinda similar .. your body doesn't care .. it just wants the devil pill.
Anyhow, I love myself NOT ON TRAMADOL. It has been such a long time now without it. I remember a feeling ... almost like constant panic. Low level anxiety. Which was form the drug. They put me on Klonopin for that and I am tapering off that now.
I don't think it is unreasonable to blame Tramadol for every symptom you have. It's how you get off the drug. Get good and mad, and take action. Make it the first priority.
I barely barely remember spring and summer ... I lost alot of time to this drug.
To be who you are ... with no Tramadol is all worth it in the end. The pain of withdrawal is normal and not to be feared. More feared would be to continue living on a pill you know is a life stealer.
Love and Healing,
Emily
Yep. Big study showing that after a year of use, Tramadol (even at normal low doses) can cause neuropathy. The pain I had in my right leg (sciatica and nerve damage from Big Car Accident One) was intensified by the Tramadol. I actually wanted to rip off my own leg. When in early withdrawal I had to wrap my leg with ace bandages and Velcro ice packs to it.
Like you the area I felt withdrawal into, was an area I noticed a great deal when I first started Tramadol.
I'm so glad you are tapering and you are doing such a beautiful job at it too!
I agree with this, "Generally, the symptoms of long term use and of withdrawal really feel like, and create symptoms of, very bad diseases. I thought I had everything from more auto-immune diseases to cancer."
So true. If you read the whole Journal there's a very kind man whose wife was told she had LUPUS. She didn't. She had Tramadol. So annoying.
I was laughing cause, I wish I had been thinking more clearly to get a wooden spoon for itching! Yes, I had it too. I also had loss of appetite (not in a good way ... made me crave junk food) and more importantly loss of SELF. Loss of laughter, loss of joy. In the beginning diminished pain, but not diminished enough to say that it was indeed "managing my pain."
It just took ahold of me so quickly. The Suicidal Ideation scared me to death!! I so wish I had known that was from the drug. I still do not believe for one second that the Doctors do not know the potential dangers of Tramadol. Not for a moment do I believe that. I believe they are culpable. Responsible for making people into addicts or making tem dependant. Which when you get down to taking the Tramadol is kinda similar .. your body doesn't care .. it just wants the devil pill.
Anyhow, I love myself NOT ON TRAMADOL. It has been such a long time now without it. I remember a feeling ... almost like constant panic. Low level anxiety. Which was form the drug. They put me on Klonopin for that and I am tapering off that now.
I don't think it is unreasonable to blame Tramadol for every symptom you have. It's how you get off the drug. Get good and mad, and take action. Make it the first priority.
I barely barely remember spring and summer ... I lost alot of time to this drug.
To be who you are ... with no Tramadol is all worth it in the end. The pain of withdrawal is normal and not to be feared. More feared would be to continue living on a pill you know is a life stealer.
Love and Healing,
Emily
Well, I did it! I'm off! *jumps up and down and yells "woo hoo! woo hoo!* It's only been a few days now, and I've been up until 5 in the morning every night because of the restless legs symptoms, but other than that I feel fantastic! Saturday was pretty bad. I had a headache, bad stomach cramps, tremors, and just general malaise and all over aching. But Sunday I felt great! Tonight the RLS seems a little worse than last night, but it could just be that I'm getting a little tired of staying up all night and not getting any sleep until 5 am. I'm a teacher and I'm on Thanksgiving break right now so luckily I don't have to worry about going to work or any of that stuff for another week.
Emily, what you say up there about loving yourself NOT on Traamadol....that is so true! I had totally forgotten what it felt like to be just me. No drugs, just me. It feels WONDERFUL! For all of you out there who are thinking about getting off this drug and are scared, don't be! Read Emily's whole journal, make a plan and GET STARTED! It is SOOOOOO worth it! It took me a little over a month, but I have never felt more alive in my life! Even with these stupid withdrawal symptoms I feel better off of Tramadol than I did on it! JUST DO IT! You won't regret it! Then you'll be back here like me, telling the world and thanking Emily for her motivating inspirational journal.
I'm still having the biggest problem with restless legs symptoms, but I have a plan. I had problems with RLS back before I started taking Tramadol and the only thing I found that got rid of them was fasting. I went on a 5 day juice fast and by the 3rd day the RLS was gone. I never had a problem with it again until I started taking Tramadol.
The research that I found on fasting said that what happens is that the body is unable to eliminate all the foreign junk we feed it so it stores toxins in the fat cells and excess minerals that it can't absorb settle and crystallize around the joints, which can cause irritation and inflammation. when you fast, the body doesn't have to spend energy digesting and dealing with all of the food so it spends its time "cleaning up." It dissolves all the toxins and excess waste that's collected over the years.
So Friday, the day after Thanksgiving (I wouldn't dare try to start this before Thanksgiving) I'm going on a 10 day fasting cleanse. This time I'm going to do the Master Cleanse, which is also known as the Lemonade Diet. I just feel like now that I'm off of the Tramadol I need to reboot my system so to speak and start over. Has anyone else ever felt that way? Like you just want to clean house and start over cause you didn't do it right the first time?
Alright well, it's almost 4:30 in the morning here and I'm realllllyyyyyy starting to ramble so I'll post this and go pace around the house a bit. Only another 1/2 hour or so and I can get some sleep. I'm not sure why 5:00 a.m. is the magic hour for my joints to finally settle down and let me get some rest, but so far that's been the pattern.
To all of you wonderful people, hang in there and be strong! If I made it to the end, anybody can.
Faith and strength,
Cecie
Emily, what you say up there about loving yourself NOT on Traamadol....that is so true! I had totally forgotten what it felt like to be just me. No drugs, just me. It feels WONDERFUL! For all of you out there who are thinking about getting off this drug and are scared, don't be! Read Emily's whole journal, make a plan and GET STARTED! It is SOOOOOO worth it! It took me a little over a month, but I have never felt more alive in my life! Even with these stupid withdrawal symptoms I feel better off of Tramadol than I did on it! JUST DO IT! You won't regret it! Then you'll be back here like me, telling the world and thanking Emily for her motivating inspirational journal.
I'm still having the biggest problem with restless legs symptoms, but I have a plan. I had problems with RLS back before I started taking Tramadol and the only thing I found that got rid of them was fasting. I went on a 5 day juice fast and by the 3rd day the RLS was gone. I never had a problem with it again until I started taking Tramadol.
The research that I found on fasting said that what happens is that the body is unable to eliminate all the foreign junk we feed it so it stores toxins in the fat cells and excess minerals that it can't absorb settle and crystallize around the joints, which can cause irritation and inflammation. when you fast, the body doesn't have to spend energy digesting and dealing with all of the food so it spends its time "cleaning up." It dissolves all the toxins and excess waste that's collected over the years.
So Friday, the day after Thanksgiving (I wouldn't dare try to start this before Thanksgiving) I'm going on a 10 day fasting cleanse. This time I'm going to do the Master Cleanse, which is also known as the Lemonade Diet. I just feel like now that I'm off of the Tramadol I need to reboot my system so to speak and start over. Has anyone else ever felt that way? Like you just want to clean house and start over cause you didn't do it right the first time?
Alright well, it's almost 4:30 in the morning here and I'm realllllyyyyyy starting to ramble so I'll post this and go pace around the house a bit. Only another 1/2 hour or so and I can get some sleep. I'm not sure why 5:00 a.m. is the magic hour for my joints to finally settle down and let me get some rest, but so far that's been the pattern.
To all of you wonderful people, hang in there and be strong! If I made it to the end, anybody can.
Faith and strength,
Cecie
Hi guys
Thanx 4 all the info, and even though Ive never met any of u, Im proud of u....
Ive got 2 prolapsed discs L4/L5, and started taking Tramadol 100 SR about 4 years ago.......Ive never taken any more in one day, and I take my tablet in the morning at about 7 am................
My doc gave me a prescription for 50 SR because I wanted to stop takin them, not because I thought it was addictive, but I just had enough. Now Ive found out all this info Im scared!!!!!!!!!!!
Will the drop from 100 to 50 SR be severe??????? Ive never ever taken more than 1 pill a day, and dont feel the need to take more, even 20 hours after taking my pill in the morning...........
I know my intake and concerns probably sounds petty to some, but since taking Tramadol, especially the last year, I just dont feeel myself........
I already suffer from anxiety, have a 2 year old son, just got a new job, and my wife and I went thru a stillbirth this year........I dont know if I could handle anymore pain!!!!
Please Help!!!!!!
Peace...........Tony
Thanx 4 all the info, and even though Ive never met any of u, Im proud of u....
Ive got 2 prolapsed discs L4/L5, and started taking Tramadol 100 SR about 4 years ago.......Ive never taken any more in one day, and I take my tablet in the morning at about 7 am................
My doc gave me a prescription for 50 SR because I wanted to stop takin them, not because I thought it was addictive, but I just had enough. Now Ive found out all this info Im scared!!!!!!!!!!!
Will the drop from 100 to 50 SR be severe??????? Ive never ever taken more than 1 pill a day, and dont feel the need to take more, even 20 hours after taking my pill in the morning...........
I know my intake and concerns probably sounds petty to some, but since taking Tramadol, especially the last year, I just dont feeel myself........
I already suffer from anxiety, have a 2 year old son, just got a new job, and my wife and I went thru a stillbirth this year........I dont know if I could handle anymore pain!!!!
Please Help!!!!!!
Peace...........Tony
Cecie... Well done you!!! And I know exactly what you mean about the cleansing bit.
Yesterday I did shankhaprakshalana, a yogic cleansing practice. There is a short one (laghoo shankaprakshalana) and a long one (poorna shankhaprakshalana), and I sort of did an inbetween one. Google it if you want to know what it is (although people really need to have a good teacher to take them through it). Anyway, I did it for just the reasons you describe. I used to do it regularly, pre-Tramal, but just seemed to lose the drive......
Even though I'm still tapering, I am getting the restless nights. I either take a mega-dose of valerian (otherwise known as locker-room-socks), or, if I'm really bad, I take Mersyndol (do you have that over there? It is an over-the counter painkiller with paracetamol, codeine and a sedative). Trouble with the Mersyndol is that I feel really hung over the next day. Perhaps I should just stay awake as you are, and go with the flow of it.
Emily.. I really know the junk food thing. I CRAVE it and have to make myself eat good things. I am taking your advice and, whenever I pass a juice bar I go the the healthiest, even though the the little Tramal-devil inside me is saying "chocolate ice-cream shake with cream and sprinkles". As I said once before, I used to be an incredibly healthy eater, pre-Tramal. Come to think of it, I used to be a lot of good things pre-Tramal. I am very much looking forward to being post-Tramal!
Thank heavens for this site. It really has given me the impetus and the courage to do this.
Yesterday I did shankhaprakshalana, a yogic cleansing practice. There is a short one (laghoo shankaprakshalana) and a long one (poorna shankhaprakshalana), and I sort of did an inbetween one. Google it if you want to know what it is (although people really need to have a good teacher to take them through it). Anyway, I did it for just the reasons you describe. I used to do it regularly, pre-Tramal, but just seemed to lose the drive......
Even though I'm still tapering, I am getting the restless nights. I either take a mega-dose of valerian (otherwise known as locker-room-socks), or, if I'm really bad, I take Mersyndol (do you have that over there? It is an over-the counter painkiller with paracetamol, codeine and a sedative). Trouble with the Mersyndol is that I feel really hung over the next day. Perhaps I should just stay awake as you are, and go with the flow of it.
Emily.. I really know the junk food thing. I CRAVE it and have to make myself eat good things. I am taking your advice and, whenever I pass a juice bar I go the the healthiest, even though the the little Tramal-devil inside me is saying "chocolate ice-cream shake with cream and sprinkles". As I said once before, I used to be an incredibly healthy eater, pre-Tramal. Come to think of it, I used to be a lot of good things pre-Tramal. I am very much looking forward to being post-Tramal!
Thank heavens for this site. It really has given me the impetus and the courage to do this.
Hi Tony... I'm sorry, I was posting as you did, and so couldn't answer you in the last post.
The fact that you feel you want to stop is great - your body/mind is telling you something.
It is good that you are on a low dose.. why not just try going down to 50 and see? If you need to do a really slow taper you can do 100 one day, 50 the next, till you can just do 50.
Honestly, if you feel it is too much, go very very slowly.. but please keep at it, and you will get there. I know I will, and I'm a big wooz. So you surely can.
Peace and strength,
Sue
The fact that you feel you want to stop is great - your body/mind is telling you something.
It is good that you are on a low dose.. why not just try going down to 50 and see? If you need to do a really slow taper you can do 100 one day, 50 the next, till you can just do 50.
Honestly, if you feel it is too much, go very very slowly.. but please keep at it, and you will get there. I know I will, and I'm a big wooz. So you surely can.
Peace and strength,
Sue
Tony,
I would start by cutting the 50mg in half take one half three time in a day. So morning,noon,night in 5 to7 days cut one half out the noon half to start.Go another 5 to 7 cut the am dose out another 5 to 7 cut out the night dose .See if that helps you at all...
avis
I would start by cutting the 50mg in half take one half three time in a day. So morning,noon,night in 5 to7 days cut one half out the noon half to start.Go another 5 to 7 cut the am dose out another 5 to 7 cut out the night dose .See if that helps you at all...
avis
Much better idea, Tony. Where I come from we don't have tablets unless they are time release 100s and 200s. The 50s are a capsule... much harder to go down incrementally.
Hello everyone,
I am still here. I have to say I am quite a skeptic. When I started reading this page, I thought this is never going to help, everyone is just talking about how proud they are and Yeah they did it!!! I thought, where are the people like me, the ones searching for others to help them off of the drug, not just celebrate the accomplishment. But, I kept coming back, i don't know why, but I did. Tonight is the first time I read this page and Got It. My heart is sinking into my chest right now, I read about the seizure while driving and a light switch went off, I want to cry, how could I put my babies at risk like that, I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to stop,,,I will not let this drug put my children in danger. I kept reading tonight and I felt such sincerity in the posting to me from Marysdaughter...Thank you. I realize when reading these posts, I am not alone and truly the first thing I need to do is admit to myself that I am an addict. I have been, I just don't say so. I have been taking unnecessary pain pills for two years, ever since my twin daughters were born at 1 lb. 10 oz. I got hooked after that and I live for my days off of work, when I can somehow justify taking three oxycodones to enjoy the night off. Then I started on tramadol and didn't crave the pain killers anymore, and I thought that was good, until I didn't take tramadol and felt like complete ****, like I couldn't stand it, I wanted to scream! Now I am completely addicted and its all I think about. I count my pills, I think about my next prescription. I am going on a cruise next week and all I am worried about is if my prescription will last until the end!!!!!!!!!!!!! **** this stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am mad,,,,,,,,,,,I hate it.,,,,,,,,,,,It controls me. If you all knew what I did for a living, you would all call me a hypocrite, but I guess I truly am.
I am still here. I have to say I am quite a skeptic. When I started reading this page, I thought this is never going to help, everyone is just talking about how proud they are and Yeah they did it!!! I thought, where are the people like me, the ones searching for others to help them off of the drug, not just celebrate the accomplishment. But, I kept coming back, i don't know why, but I did. Tonight is the first time I read this page and Got It. My heart is sinking into my chest right now, I read about the seizure while driving and a light switch went off, I want to cry, how could I put my babies at risk like that, I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to stop,,,I will not let this drug put my children in danger. I kept reading tonight and I felt such sincerity in the posting to me from Marysdaughter...Thank you. I realize when reading these posts, I am not alone and truly the first thing I need to do is admit to myself that I am an addict. I have been, I just don't say so. I have been taking unnecessary pain pills for two years, ever since my twin daughters were born at 1 lb. 10 oz. I got hooked after that and I live for my days off of work, when I can somehow justify taking three oxycodones to enjoy the night off. Then I started on tramadol and didn't crave the pain killers anymore, and I thought that was good, until I didn't take tramadol and felt like complete ****, like I couldn't stand it, I wanted to scream! Now I am completely addicted and its all I think about. I count my pills, I think about my next prescription. I am going on a cruise next week and all I am worried about is if my prescription will last until the end!!!!!!!!!!!!! **** this stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am mad,,,,,,,,,,,I hate it.,,,,,,,,,,,It controls me. If you all knew what I did for a living, you would all call me a hypocrite, but I guess I truly am.
((Kel))
No one calls anyone a hypocrite here. You are not a Hypocrite (the Tramadol is calling you a Hypocrite; the true self who loves you and loves your Babies would never call you such an ugly thing. Understand how profoundly "real" the "Drug Voice" can be. It Mimics your thoughts and speaks ugly words to you. I think Tramadol is the ugliest drug I have ever been on and that includes Vicodin which I though was dark enough that I flushed it down a toilet.
We do what we have to do to cope, until we can do better.
You're asking about what happens to the people like you who want to quit? They don't post. They maybe post once, want to quit but can't. There's tons of reasons to not quit. There's lots of doctors who keep patients on this for long periods of time with no issues, except that my opinion in that long term use is dangerous and dehumanizing.
Yes, people have seizures WHILE ON TRAMADOL. No seizures have been reported coming off Tramadol or tapering or withdrawing. The only people I know of (and bare in mind I could be so wrong here) are the people who are on Tramadol and then take more, the dose gets varied .. and the brain reacts with seizure.
Since Tramadol is a randomly acting "analgesic" according to the scheduling system ... it isn't really that amazing when you think about it that you could have a seizure while driving. I'm really glad you realized it is more about your family and the people who love you, you know? God Bless You Kel! I'm so happy you kept coming back.
The difference maybe was that what I never wrote about was the days weeks, months and years when i wanted to stop, but honestly didn't think it was the drug that was causing suicidal ideation or increased back pain. I really never suspected it because everyone (Doctors) and their Brother (also Doctors) told me how safe it was.
It really was not until my friends Girlfriend Jumped off a building in France (Yep, just found out a few weeks ago she didn't go out the window, she went up to the roof; thus ruling out any speculation it was an accident, as well as a note left to her BF, my young beautiful now horrifyingly half dead with grief friend behind ..)
It wasn't until those two moments, the realization of Kimmie's death by suicide and the drawer full of pills that something snapped. So consider that the perception is missing in the years when I wanted off but honestly thought that Tramadol was holding me together. A lie in fact. Tramadol really is a great liar. It convinces you it is safe, no addictive, your friend. It convinces you you would not be able to cope without it. (lies)
It convinces you even worse; that you are better OFF on the Tramadol (Lie)
And when you try to taper and jump off, it convinces you that there is no need to and if you proceed, it tries to tell you you are going to die. (A Lie)
Tony, I hope you are reading. AvisG (Thank You AvisG) is correct ... jumping from 100 to 50 would cause pain. Going to seventy five would be better. Let yourself stabilize a bit and then and only then go lower. No idea how long it would take to stabilize. You can do it. Your post really affected me. Because you said, "I can't stand any more pain." I agree. It would be dangerous. We all know our breaking point. You just go slowly ok?
(((Sue))) Big hugs for you. So happy you are getting some nice fresh veggie juice in!
Love and healing,
Emily
No one calls anyone a hypocrite here. You are not a Hypocrite (the Tramadol is calling you a Hypocrite; the true self who loves you and loves your Babies would never call you such an ugly thing. Understand how profoundly "real" the "Drug Voice" can be. It Mimics your thoughts and speaks ugly words to you. I think Tramadol is the ugliest drug I have ever been on and that includes Vicodin which I though was dark enough that I flushed it down a toilet.
We do what we have to do to cope, until we can do better.
You're asking about what happens to the people like you who want to quit? They don't post. They maybe post once, want to quit but can't. There's tons of reasons to not quit. There's lots of doctors who keep patients on this for long periods of time with no issues, except that my opinion in that long term use is dangerous and dehumanizing.
Yes, people have seizures WHILE ON TRAMADOL. No seizures have been reported coming off Tramadol or tapering or withdrawing. The only people I know of (and bare in mind I could be so wrong here) are the people who are on Tramadol and then take more, the dose gets varied .. and the brain reacts with seizure.
Since Tramadol is a randomly acting "analgesic" according to the scheduling system ... it isn't really that amazing when you think about it that you could have a seizure while driving. I'm really glad you realized it is more about your family and the people who love you, you know? God Bless You Kel! I'm so happy you kept coming back.
The difference maybe was that what I never wrote about was the days weeks, months and years when i wanted to stop, but honestly didn't think it was the drug that was causing suicidal ideation or increased back pain. I really never suspected it because everyone (Doctors) and their Brother (also Doctors) told me how safe it was.
It really was not until my friends Girlfriend Jumped off a building in France (Yep, just found out a few weeks ago she didn't go out the window, she went up to the roof; thus ruling out any speculation it was an accident, as well as a note left to her BF, my young beautiful now horrifyingly half dead with grief friend behind ..)
It wasn't until those two moments, the realization of Kimmie's death by suicide and the drawer full of pills that something snapped. So consider that the perception is missing in the years when I wanted off but honestly thought that Tramadol was holding me together. A lie in fact. Tramadol really is a great liar. It convinces you it is safe, no addictive, your friend. It convinces you you would not be able to cope without it. (lies)
It convinces you even worse; that you are better OFF on the Tramadol (Lie)
And when you try to taper and jump off, it convinces you that there is no need to and if you proceed, it tries to tell you you are going to die. (A Lie)
Tony, I hope you are reading. AvisG (Thank You AvisG) is correct ... jumping from 100 to 50 would cause pain. Going to seventy five would be better. Let yourself stabilize a bit and then and only then go lower. No idea how long it would take to stabilize. You can do it. Your post really affected me. Because you said, "I can't stand any more pain." I agree. It would be dangerous. We all know our breaking point. You just go slowly ok?
(((Sue))) Big hugs for you. So happy you are getting some nice fresh veggie juice in!
Love and healing,
Emily
Hi Kel... I do hope you are still coming back here.
The awful feelings of inadequacy truly are the drug... please know that.
When I had those horrible, horrible feelings of inadequacy and hypocrisy it was like death. It took finding out from others that THAT IS WHAT THIS THING DOES TO YOU! And that knowledge gives strength.
Make this thing acheivable - do it in the way that suits you.. even if you just cut down the tiniest bit, you will sense the achievement and this thing will begin to loosen its grasp.
Please know that you have support..
Peace and stength,
Sue
The awful feelings of inadequacy truly are the drug... please know that.
When I had those horrible, horrible feelings of inadequacy and hypocrisy it was like death. It took finding out from others that THAT IS WHAT THIS THING DOES TO YOU! And that knowledge gives strength.
Make this thing acheivable - do it in the way that suits you.. even if you just cut down the tiniest bit, you will sense the achievement and this thing will begin to loosen its grasp.
Please know that you have support..
Peace and stength,
Sue
Hey guys
Thanx 4 all the advice and time.....
Thanx Emily
Well, b4 I read any replies, I went straight to the 50 in the morning....felt funny all day, then started feeling **** about 4 hours before I usually used to......got home, then the shakes, fevers, shivers started........hated it!!!!!!!!!!!
But it passed, and after finally falling asleep at about 1, woke up at 4, wired and body sore.......got back to sleep after an hour.......
Woke up, and fought with my body over whether to take another 50mg..........I didnt......
Have had an awfully depressing, **** lethargic day, but none of the other symptoms yet....now 36 hours since my last tramal.........is it wrong that I stopped cold turkey? Just thought that Ive got to do it eventually...why not right now!!!!!!
I hope theres not much pain.....I hope Im doing the right thing!!!!!
Peace and Love......T
Thanx 4 all the advice and time.....
Thanx Emily
Well, b4 I read any replies, I went straight to the 50 in the morning....felt funny all day, then started feeling **** about 4 hours before I usually used to......got home, then the shakes, fevers, shivers started........hated it!!!!!!!!!!!
But it passed, and after finally falling asleep at about 1, woke up at 4, wired and body sore.......got back to sleep after an hour.......
Woke up, and fought with my body over whether to take another 50mg..........I didnt......
Have had an awfully depressing, **** lethargic day, but none of the other symptoms yet....now 36 hours since my last tramal.........is it wrong that I stopped cold turkey? Just thought that Ive got to do it eventually...why not right now!!!!!!
I hope theres not much pain.....I hope Im doing the right thing!!!!!
Peace and Love......T
Hi Everyone!
Happy Thanksgiving!
YAY Tony! You made it 36 hours! Woo Hoo! *cheers!* You probably aren't very thankful right now, but you will be!
Oh no, there's nothing wrong with stopping cold turkey in my opinion. It's not like a Benzo. I kind of agree with your method Tony, because it's YOUR method. In other words, I don't know if my symptoms would have been lessened if I had prolonged my taper, or if I was just prolonging the agony?
I think anyone who tries to stop, has their own answer.
My answer was a really fast taper. AKA Let the pills that I had run out. When I was off a couple of weeks a big Rx arrived and I couldn't have cared less. Tramadol and I have no craving in our relationship.
The really good thing is that you are 36 hours out and it is Thanksgiving, hopefully you have off work for awhile? It's all good Tony form where I stand.
I just knew I had stop. It was instinctual and not logical. If I had known there was some kind of danger in stopping the way I did, I would have done it differently, but there was no danger.
You'll probably have some rough time, but I actually think you'll do ok. You seem, really just like me in that I just made the decision. I wasn't going to let it own me any more. It was getting insane, ridiculous and dangerous.
You've done the first hardest part. The good news is that if you are being dosed with Turkey today you'll get a ton of nice protein which is packed with , a natural L-tryptophan a sleep aid and an antidepressant! Nice Amino Acid. Also, a day when the US is forcussed on giving Thanks. I'm on a Turkey break. The Turkey gives you a good hour of rest after you put it in the oven.
This is my first Thanksgiving free of Tramadol in five years? (I'm still not sure) I do know last year; I was on Tramadol when I cooked this dinner. It feel amazing not to be worried it will run out, or worried that a Doctor will "cut me off" or worried about what it is doing to my head, my feelings, my liver. I'm profoundly Thankful.
Love and healing,
Emily
Happy Thanksgiving!
YAY Tony! You made it 36 hours! Woo Hoo! *cheers!* You probably aren't very thankful right now, but you will be!
Oh no, there's nothing wrong with stopping cold turkey in my opinion. It's not like a Benzo. I kind of agree with your method Tony, because it's YOUR method. In other words, I don't know if my symptoms would have been lessened if I had prolonged my taper, or if I was just prolonging the agony?
I think anyone who tries to stop, has their own answer.
My answer was a really fast taper. AKA Let the pills that I had run out. When I was off a couple of weeks a big Rx arrived and I couldn't have cared less. Tramadol and I have no craving in our relationship.
The really good thing is that you are 36 hours out and it is Thanksgiving, hopefully you have off work for awhile? It's all good Tony form where I stand.
I just knew I had stop. It was instinctual and not logical. If I had known there was some kind of danger in stopping the way I did, I would have done it differently, but there was no danger.
You'll probably have some rough time, but I actually think you'll do ok. You seem, really just like me in that I just made the decision. I wasn't going to let it own me any more. It was getting insane, ridiculous and dangerous.
You've done the first hardest part. The good news is that if you are being dosed with Turkey today you'll get a ton of nice protein which is packed with , a natural L-tryptophan a sleep aid and an antidepressant! Nice Amino Acid. Also, a day when the US is forcussed on giving Thanks. I'm on a Turkey break. The Turkey gives you a good hour of rest after you put it in the oven.
This is my first Thanksgiving free of Tramadol in five years? (I'm still not sure) I do know last year; I was on Tramadol when I cooked this dinner. It feel amazing not to be worried it will run out, or worried that a Doctor will "cut me off" or worried about what it is doing to my head, my feelings, my liver. I'm profoundly Thankful.
Love and healing,
Emily
has anyone heard of a plant called kratom to help with withdrawing from tramadol?
Hi Emily- I cry everytime I read your posts.A good cry. A healing cry. Its like your thoughts are my thoughts, only I cant figure it out until you say it. Does that make sense? (I am still experiencing this weird effect of not being sure if what I am saying is making sense.)
This my 8th day with no tram! Reading your journal and posts has helped me soooooo much. The mental w/d symptoms seem to be the worse for me right now. Yea, I am still having the restless legs at night, and my stomach is a mess(bloated and hurts really bad)..............but the mood swings are HORRIBLE. I feel like I am bipolar or something. I just dont know enough about that. Guess I will research.
This was my first Thanksgiving in 4 or 5? years as well, with no tramadol. I too was always worried about my next dose, will i run out, my dr. cutting me off, and especially I worried I wouldnt be able to get it online anymore.
Always wondering "Where is that fed ex driver??????????"
Anyways, I am thankful beyond words for this day. And thankful for this site.
This my 8th day with no tram! Reading your journal and posts has helped me soooooo much. The mental w/d symptoms seem to be the worse for me right now. Yea, I am still having the restless legs at night, and my stomach is a mess(bloated and hurts really bad)..............but the mood swings are HORRIBLE. I feel like I am bipolar or something. I just dont know enough about that. Guess I will research.
This was my first Thanksgiving in 4 or 5? years as well, with no tramadol. I too was always worried about my next dose, will i run out, my dr. cutting me off, and especially I worried I wouldnt be able to get it online anymore.
Always wondering "Where is that fed ex driver??????????"
Anyways, I am thankful beyond words for this day. And thankful for this site.
Boomoon...
I didn't know anything about kratom, but had heard of it, so I did some Googling.... this site seems 'credible'.
If the study is correct, it is just a case of replacing one addiction with another.
http://www.erowid.org/plants/kratom/kratom_journal3.shtml
I didn't know anything about kratom, but had heard of it, so I did some Googling.... this site seems 'credible'.
If the study is correct, it is just a case of replacing one addiction with another.
http://www.erowid.org/plants/kratom/kratom_journal3.shtml
Hi guys
3.5 days now..........up and down, a bit anxious around other people.....no more shakes.......headache tho, and a bit dizzy sometimes and clumsy....still pretty tired.........
Feel normal sometimes, a bit weird other times 2.....also sweating alot.....is this normal?
People keep telling me to have 1 if it makes me feel like this, but then I have 2 start again right? No way..........
I hope Im doing the right thing....just wanna feel normal ALL the time again!!
Thanx Emily for your words and strength.............its helped me alot!!!!!!!!!!!!! I appreciate it HEAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No thanksgiving in Australia, but my wife had some turkey in the fridge, so I ate that anyway :)
Nearly 4 days!!!!!!!
Peace and love........T
3.5 days now..........up and down, a bit anxious around other people.....no more shakes.......headache tho, and a bit dizzy sometimes and clumsy....still pretty tired.........
Feel normal sometimes, a bit weird other times 2.....also sweating alot.....is this normal?
People keep telling me to have 1 if it makes me feel like this, but then I have 2 start again right? No way..........
I hope Im doing the right thing....just wanna feel normal ALL the time again!!
Thanx Emily for your words and strength.............its helped me alot!!!!!!!!!!!!! I appreciate it HEAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No thanksgiving in Australia, but my wife had some turkey in the fridge, so I ate that anyway :)
Nearly 4 days!!!!!!!
Peace and love........T
you guys who have posted have gotten me to do this and gotten me to the 3rd day. it hasn't been too terribly bad most of the time. the worst thing of all has been the restless legs. they start at about midnight. they completely freak me out and are basically intolerable. it is impossible to sleep, my whole body is writhing around , and the feeling under my skin is something indescribable. 2 nights now i have given in and taken a vic. i don't want to do that and be addicted to vic when i am detoxed from tramadol. ( just spelling that word out makes me sick) . yesterday i went for a jog and then a walk before bed to see if i could get my legs tired. the thing is, it's not a leg problem , it's a cns problem i think. something seriously haywire in my brain. the upside of taking the vic is that i got sleep both nights. is there anything at all that relieves the rls? i take cough syrup, clonazepam, all the aminos(except tyrosine). and how many hours do they last? and how many weeks, months do they go on?
This site is a God send. I have taken ultram/tramdol for six years for horrible fibromyalgia. I just found out I am pregnant...very early, but pregnant nonetheless. My OB knows about the ultram and basically just said "get off it." Do I stop cold turkey or taper to none over a couple of days? I was up to 8-10 50mg at my worse and am now at around 5. I know what the withdrawl feels like as I have been low on it before. I WILL get off it. My question is: how many days of withdrawl if I stop cold turkey? If I have an idea of what I am shooting for, I know I can do this.
God bless all of you who have been through this mess.
God bless all of you who have been through this mess.
buggyboo,
i haven't been able to determine the answer to your question and i have all the posts i think! some say 4 to 5 days others say they are having bad days at 20 or 40. so i want to know the answer too. count on a week really bad i think. you MUST stop. you know that. i must stop. i was using 4 pills a day and tapered 2 days at 3 then 2. it is bad. this is my third day and i am not in total hell all the time. night is hell with the rls.
i haven't been able to determine the answer to your question and i have all the posts i think! some say 4 to 5 days others say they are having bad days at 20 or 40. so i want to know the answer too. count on a week really bad i think. you MUST stop. you know that. i must stop. i was using 4 pills a day and tapered 2 days at 3 then 2. it is bad. this is my third day and i am not in total hell all the time. night is hell with the rls.
Hi - Thanks emergee. Yep, I think I can make it through the days, but the nights are bad...really bad. Tonight I plan to take sominex to help knock me out (safe during pregnancy.) Good luck. I will keep everyone posted!
i just read most of this journal for the third time. each time there another thing that is helpful to me. i guess because at each stage there is a different issue. i got through the fear of stopping. i got through the intensely physical misery. or most of it anyway, at least i am not miserable every single waking second. but now i am getting the psychologicals. i had been really proud of myself that i had not been depressed by the withdrawal. i think it is coming on now. i am getting memories of my parents and my childhood flooding in . and not in a pleasant way, mostly about what a jerk i am ,and all the bad decisions i have made in my life. i really hope this thread does not end because it where i have gotten the most support. correction, where i have felt the most support. i don't have good support for this process in my social life. i wonder how long the depression stuff lasts. i wonder how long the brain fog lasts. i am most profoundly unable to think and make effort. if anyone is out there , please post something about how you are doing, and at what stage of recovery you are.
with tremendous gratitude for every post,
emergee
with tremendous gratitude for every post,
emergee
Hi Emergee,
I'm so glad you read the journal and that it helped you. Thank you for posting. I'm so pleased you stopped and you posted here. Thank goodness!
I'm now 165 days off Tramadol.
Yes, in my case the depression did go away. The depression as a result of Tramadol withdrawal was intense and included Suicidal Ideation. Meaning I would get repeating thoughts ... specifically "I wish I were dead." Those thoughts lessened and vanished very soon after taking myself off the Tramadol roller coaster.
Tramadol is an evil drug. The thoughts you are having, of how bad you were and what a jerk you were, those thoughts are being caused by the Tramadol. Truth is, you did the best you could, with what you had. When you could do better; you did better.
Don't be fooled by the thoughts in withdrawal. As real as they seem, they are not your thoughts. They are not YOUR true self. Those are drug withdrawal thoughts.
You're also on day 5. Day 5 ... is still very brutal. The good part is that you'll feel under attack, and then it will ease up and you will have peace. It's random. It's not linear like a straight up opiate withdrawal.
Imodium AD (or it's generic) relieves a ton of withdrawal symptoms.
I didn't have RLS for long. It may have been less than two weeks. Lots of apples and bananas helped.
After all the massive amounts of drugs thrown at me during this ride, what I am left with is Klonopin. And codeine if I can't walk from lower back pain.
I'm tapering it Klonopin. I'm now on 1.5 mg and will go lower. The doctor put me on Klonopin to ease the side effects of Tramadol. Yeah, it is true, writing out Tramadol does make me feel a little bit sick. I went to my Psychologist today. I started to see him simply because I wanted some help and reassurance and direction as i was getting off Klonopin. So far, the tapering is on my own. He wants me to stay on 2 mg. Today was just baffling as to WHY this Doc wants to keep me on a drug i don't want to be on and that was given to me for Tramadol ... which I am now 165 days off ...
Anyhow. Everything is much more lucid. My brains are slowly recovering.
Yesterday I decorated our Christmas Trees. I haven't done that for a couple of years. My DH says it was 3 years. I remember being overwhelmed and thinking that there was no way I could do it. I also remember being insanely clumsy and breaking ornaments the first year he and i were engaged and I tried to decorate the trees. I love my ornament collection, which is lovely and huge. So to have no desire to actually look at them, or decorate with them was the height of insanity. It was like Tramadol STOLE several YEARS and many Christmases from me.
I'd love to have my time back. I'd love if I had never been put on it. But I am grateful in a way that I had to go thru what I did. It made me more wary. Stronger. More determined. Pain is a great but terrifying teacher.
I remember also in the early withdrawal that I was just so ... I needed someone to talk to about what I was going thru because it literally just felt like i was going crazy. To read or see anyone who was successful getting off Tramadol was so exciting and uplifting for me.
The fact is we all make bad decisions, but not purposefully.
Emergee, You write, "i am most profoundly unable to think and make effort. "
Yep. Bingo. That's the withdrawal. The best advice I can give you is to try to understand that YOU will recover. This is just part of withdrawal.
The brain fog doesn't last forever. I was on Tramadol for 5? Years? (No idea) and off it for 165 days .... I think the last post ... the last journal entry I had was in the day 70's ... day 60's ... the Brain Fog and symptoms were gone by then. I had another massive car accident and honestly the pain form that was not even close to the pain of being on Tramadol and then withdrawing from it. Can you imagine that? It is true!
You will recover. Time is passing. Let go of any judgements except this; the feeling, thoughts, symptoms going on now in your body are being caused by Drug Withdrawal. You will get better. It really does feel as if you are permanently disabled ... but you aren't. It's just a really really evil drug.
Love and healing,
Emily
I'm so glad you read the journal and that it helped you. Thank you for posting. I'm so pleased you stopped and you posted here. Thank goodness!
I'm now 165 days off Tramadol.
Yes, in my case the depression did go away. The depression as a result of Tramadol withdrawal was intense and included Suicidal Ideation. Meaning I would get repeating thoughts ... specifically "I wish I were dead." Those thoughts lessened and vanished very soon after taking myself off the Tramadol roller coaster.
Tramadol is an evil drug. The thoughts you are having, of how bad you were and what a jerk you were, those thoughts are being caused by the Tramadol. Truth is, you did the best you could, with what you had. When you could do better; you did better.
Don't be fooled by the thoughts in withdrawal. As real as they seem, they are not your thoughts. They are not YOUR true self. Those are drug withdrawal thoughts.
You're also on day 5. Day 5 ... is still very brutal. The good part is that you'll feel under attack, and then it will ease up and you will have peace. It's random. It's not linear like a straight up opiate withdrawal.
Imodium AD (or it's generic) relieves a ton of withdrawal symptoms.
I didn't have RLS for long. It may have been less than two weeks. Lots of apples and bananas helped.
After all the massive amounts of drugs thrown at me during this ride, what I am left with is Klonopin. And codeine if I can't walk from lower back pain.
I'm tapering it Klonopin. I'm now on 1.5 mg and will go lower. The doctor put me on Klonopin to ease the side effects of Tramadol. Yeah, it is true, writing out Tramadol does make me feel a little bit sick. I went to my Psychologist today. I started to see him simply because I wanted some help and reassurance and direction as i was getting off Klonopin. So far, the tapering is on my own. He wants me to stay on 2 mg. Today was just baffling as to WHY this Doc wants to keep me on a drug i don't want to be on and that was given to me for Tramadol ... which I am now 165 days off ...
Anyhow. Everything is much more lucid. My brains are slowly recovering.
Yesterday I decorated our Christmas Trees. I haven't done that for a couple of years. My DH says it was 3 years. I remember being overwhelmed and thinking that there was no way I could do it. I also remember being insanely clumsy and breaking ornaments the first year he and i were engaged and I tried to decorate the trees. I love my ornament collection, which is lovely and huge. So to have no desire to actually look at them, or decorate with them was the height of insanity. It was like Tramadol STOLE several YEARS and many Christmases from me.
I'd love to have my time back. I'd love if I had never been put on it. But I am grateful in a way that I had to go thru what I did. It made me more wary. Stronger. More determined. Pain is a great but terrifying teacher.
I remember also in the early withdrawal that I was just so ... I needed someone to talk to about what I was going thru because it literally just felt like i was going crazy. To read or see anyone who was successful getting off Tramadol was so exciting and uplifting for me.
The fact is we all make bad decisions, but not purposefully.
Emergee, You write, "i am most profoundly unable to think and make effort. "
Yep. Bingo. That's the withdrawal. The best advice I can give you is to try to understand that YOU will recover. This is just part of withdrawal.
The brain fog doesn't last forever. I was on Tramadol for 5? Years? (No idea) and off it for 165 days .... I think the last post ... the last journal entry I had was in the day 70's ... day 60's ... the Brain Fog and symptoms were gone by then. I had another massive car accident and honestly the pain form that was not even close to the pain of being on Tramadol and then withdrawing from it. Can you imagine that? It is true!
You will recover. Time is passing. Let go of any judgements except this; the feeling, thoughts, symptoms going on now in your body are being caused by Drug Withdrawal. You will get better. It really does feel as if you are permanently disabled ... but you aren't. It's just a really really evil drug.
Love and healing,
Emily
to emily, and all,
wonderful wonderful post. i just started this comment with an idea i wanted to communicate and in the split second it took to scroll down and forgot what it was. and i have been having severe memory problems for quite some time but this is ridiculous! it would be so amazing if some of my memory problems were due to T and not to getting old and decrepit. i am going to substiute T for the drug i was taking because it makes me sick to spell it out. i cannot imagine how there are people who LIKED this drug. thank god i never realized you could get high off of it. i thought it was a superior advil. i really did. so i took it to feel normal. and i had had physical symptoms for so long before i started taking it that i did not connect the dots that i was having drug induced symptoms.
i am so glad to hear you are humanizing , emily. i have been viciously irritable and oversensitve to stimulation for so long. and i thought it was all due to my divorce. one the things i took the T for was irritability. i couldn't stand children! they made noise! i would change chairs at the coffee place because someone was talking too loudly. it would be great if this backed off a bit. i was wondering if i would ever get over my divorce and perhaps a lot of this insanity was due to the drug.
i am rambling on because some of the other rambling posts helped me. emily you are a great writer. i hope you make a living writing. i am recommending people on the forum who are T people to look you up.
ah, i finally remembered what i wanted to say. i have been taking clonapin for a long time. my thyroid doctor thrust them on me and i started taking them without a thought in the world. i just found out that my normal dose is not as tiny as i had thought. my habit has been .25 at night to sleep. i love not ever being worried about sleeping. i know i will sleep. in the course of my life i have had insomnia off and on and not sleeping is, for me, a nightmare. i hate being tired . i am not a tough person who endures hardship easily. so mostly i took it at night, but if i had a hard time during the day i would take half of that. i did not know it was habit forming either. so i get to look forward to kicking that too.
that is INSANE that the doctor wants you to UP your clonapin. the handwriting is on the wall for that guy(girl). i have been denied drugs that are harmless and would really really help me in the short run, eg. inderol, and had drugs pushed that were disgusting poison and would seriously hurt me in the long run. about the inderol, i might as well add this in, i was having heart palpitions , tachycardia type feelings which my mother had, maybe the T caused it? i am having them constantly now that i am kicking.
and thank you for the detail of the xmas tree. it helps a lot really. i have been isolating myself, not wanting to go out, not finding pleasure in things, for so long. it will be interesting to see what comes back. and yes, there is something oddly profound about this whole nightmarish experience. maybe i will appreciate simple things more? maybe i will expect less and be grateful for more?
and one more thing . FOR RESTLESS LEGS, TAKE HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS!!!!!!!!!! it does work!
thank you all and please keep posting...
emergee
wonderful wonderful post. i just started this comment with an idea i wanted to communicate and in the split second it took to scroll down and forgot what it was. and i have been having severe memory problems for quite some time but this is ridiculous! it would be so amazing if some of my memory problems were due to T and not to getting old and decrepit. i am going to substiute T for the drug i was taking because it makes me sick to spell it out. i cannot imagine how there are people who LIKED this drug. thank god i never realized you could get high off of it. i thought it was a superior advil. i really did. so i took it to feel normal. and i had had physical symptoms for so long before i started taking it that i did not connect the dots that i was having drug induced symptoms.
i am so glad to hear you are humanizing , emily. i have been viciously irritable and oversensitve to stimulation for so long. and i thought it was all due to my divorce. one the things i took the T for was irritability. i couldn't stand children! they made noise! i would change chairs at the coffee place because someone was talking too loudly. it would be great if this backed off a bit. i was wondering if i would ever get over my divorce and perhaps a lot of this insanity was due to the drug.
i am rambling on because some of the other rambling posts helped me. emily you are a great writer. i hope you make a living writing. i am recommending people on the forum who are T people to look you up.
ah, i finally remembered what i wanted to say. i have been taking clonapin for a long time. my thyroid doctor thrust them on me and i started taking them without a thought in the world. i just found out that my normal dose is not as tiny as i had thought. my habit has been .25 at night to sleep. i love not ever being worried about sleeping. i know i will sleep. in the course of my life i have had insomnia off and on and not sleeping is, for me, a nightmare. i hate being tired . i am not a tough person who endures hardship easily. so mostly i took it at night, but if i had a hard time during the day i would take half of that. i did not know it was habit forming either. so i get to look forward to kicking that too.
that is INSANE that the doctor wants you to UP your clonapin. the handwriting is on the wall for that guy(girl). i have been denied drugs that are harmless and would really really help me in the short run, eg. inderol, and had drugs pushed that were disgusting poison and would seriously hurt me in the long run. about the inderol, i might as well add this in, i was having heart palpitions , tachycardia type feelings which my mother had, maybe the T caused it? i am having them constantly now that i am kicking.
and thank you for the detail of the xmas tree. it helps a lot really. i have been isolating myself, not wanting to go out, not finding pleasure in things, for so long. it will be interesting to see what comes back. and yes, there is something oddly profound about this whole nightmarish experience. maybe i will appreciate simple things more? maybe i will expect less and be grateful for more?
and one more thing . FOR RESTLESS LEGS, TAKE HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS!!!!!!!!!! it does work!
thank you all and please keep posting...
emergee
Hi Emily, Emergee,
Great posts! The relief when you find the similarities and recognise them for what they are. I am still on a taper. I was on this drug for well over 5 years, so maybe the coming off will just take time. I'd prefer not to use any other drugs in the process. Even on a taper, most days are just profoundly awful. I wish I had the energy and desire to eat better... I seem to be gaining weight - bad eating and lethergy.
I'm not able to just stop, as I simply have to hold it together - With what I do, there can be no hint of this. And there is just me, no-one else. The only people I can talk to about it are on this post.
A bad day... the next one will be better,
peace and strength,
Sue
Great posts! The relief when you find the similarities and recognise them for what they are. I am still on a taper. I was on this drug for well over 5 years, so maybe the coming off will just take time. I'd prefer not to use any other drugs in the process. Even on a taper, most days are just profoundly awful. I wish I had the energy and desire to eat better... I seem to be gaining weight - bad eating and lethergy.
I'm not able to just stop, as I simply have to hold it together - With what I do, there can be no hint of this. And there is just me, no-one else. The only people I can talk to about it are on this post.
A bad day... the next one will be better,
peace and strength,
Sue
Sue being on a taper is very impressive. I'm sorry you had a bad day.
Thing is, we all have bad days, drugs or not.
Profoundly awful. Yep. I remember it well. I think it's just so important and lovely that you stay the course with yor taper.
((((Sue))))
Thing is, we all have bad days, drugs or not.
Profoundly awful. Yep. I remember it well. I think it's just so important and lovely that you stay the course with yor taper.
((((Sue))))
Hello all,
I have been taking Tramadol for about a year now, ranging from 300mg a day to 600mg a day at my worst. I am now trying to taper down and cannot believe the feelings I am having. I cannot afford to be like this at work so I am thinking I am going to wait until Christmas break when I have 5 days off and just stop cold turkey, that way I will be able to just lay around like I feel like doing all day today. Reading this site is helpful, but also scares the heck out of me to see that some symptoms last for months. I was thinking it would be 3-4 days max and I would be my old self again, but seeing these posts will at least help me to be more realistic in my expectations. I don't want to stop cold turkey without some other meds to help with the withdrawels, so what should I try to get to deal with these symptoms? I am having the same symptoms as everyone else on here, and it is utter hell. And I haven't even stopped yet, I am only tapering! I have a bunch of hydrocodone that could help ease the symptoms, but I don't want to get addicted to it as well! Any help and advice would be helpful. It just feels good to be able to talk about it on here instead of hiding it from everyone I know.
Matt
I have been taking Tramadol for about a year now, ranging from 300mg a day to 600mg a day at my worst. I am now trying to taper down and cannot believe the feelings I am having. I cannot afford to be like this at work so I am thinking I am going to wait until Christmas break when I have 5 days off and just stop cold turkey, that way I will be able to just lay around like I feel like doing all day today. Reading this site is helpful, but also scares the heck out of me to see that some symptoms last for months. I was thinking it would be 3-4 days max and I would be my old self again, but seeing these posts will at least help me to be more realistic in my expectations. I don't want to stop cold turkey without some other meds to help with the withdrawels, so what should I try to get to deal with these symptoms? I am having the same symptoms as everyone else on here, and it is utter hell. And I haven't even stopped yet, I am only tapering! I have a bunch of hydrocodone that could help ease the symptoms, but I don't want to get addicted to it as well! Any help and advice would be helpful. It just feels good to be able to talk about it on here instead of hiding it from everyone I know.
Matt
I LOVE coming here! it is so reassuring to read how everyone is doing trying to get away from this stupid little pill that looks oh so harmless in its little bottle.
Kel, if you are still reading posts here, don't be discouraged and listen to Emily! Those of us who are now celebrating being off this drug do so because we remember what kind of hell we went through to get off Tramadol. Don't give up! It's so worth going through the hell to get to the light at the end.
Sue, thanks for the tip on the yoga! I'm definitely going to look it up and at least give it a go. I used to do Bikram yoga like Emily and it helps considerably. Just for the record, the Master Cleanse or the Lemonade Diet *****! totally *****! that maple syrup-lemon-cayenne concoction you're supposed to suck down 6 times a day is the worst! I only made it 2 days. then I caved and ate pumpkin pie. I'm glad to read I'm not the only one wanting to scarf down anything within reach that even hints at having sugar in it. I was thinking maybe it was just me and my total lack of willpower and self-discipline.
Tone, you go! Like Emily said, don't worry about if you're doing it right, just do it in a way that works for you. If you can handle tapering off that much go for it! I remember trying to drop down 1/2 a pill, being ok for a day, but then the next day I would need a little more before I could drop down again. I had 50 mg white tablets that I would cut in 4 pieces and go down or up one little piece at a time until I was down to one measly little piece a day, then I quit altogether.
I still have some hints of withdrawal like the RLS and some serious sugar cravings, but that is even subsiding. The RLS doesn't show up now until about 1 am and goes away about 4 am, which is much better than the 10 pm to 5 am stretch that I was suffering through.
Emergee, thanks for the tip on the Hylands stuff! I'm going to try it. I'll try anything. :> I totally relate to the not wanting to go out or be sociable or do anything that you used to take pleasure in. I was like that too, and my hubby would get so aggravated because we used to always go out and hang with friends and the like. The bad thing is that I just thought I was getting old! I thought I had just outgrown all that "juvenile partying stuff". Now I'm the one who wants to get out of the house and go do something. We're even throwing a new year's eve party this year and I'm actually looking forward to it. As far as divorce goes, it's a lot like getting off of Tramadol. the first year is the hardest, but once you get past that milestone you are sooooooo glad you're a free woman! divorcing my first husband was the best thing I ever did for my little girl and me and I have never regretted it. It's been 10 years now and my life is far better than it would have ever been if I had stayed married to that man. so hang in there!
Emily, I keep forgetting about your Imodium AD trick. I think my brain associates Imodium with my grandmother and immediately dismisses any suggestion that it might be useful for anything I might have. And your Christmas story really brought back memories! When I was taking my highest dose of Tramadol, I remember my brother and his two daughters drove from Florida to our house for Christmas. (I'm in Texas) At the time I was at my most unsociable and i was sleeping about 16 hours a day. My daughter was 12, and she and my two nieces were up at 7:00 Christmas morning salivating over the presents. But me, I slept in until noon. My hubby finally came in and dragged me out of bed because everyone else was up and waiting on me to open presents and have dinner. The worst part, I didn't care. I just wanted to sleep. I reluctantly skulked to the living room, participated in the great gift unwrapping, and then promptly lay down on the couch and went back to sleep. didn't help with dinner, didn't eat dinner, didn't help clean up after dinner.....nothing. Can you imagine? Not even being excited about Christmas? Not even about seeing your little darling open her presents and be all happy and surprised? Making the kiddos wait 5 hours to open presents and then act like it was a major inconvenience to expect me to show up for the day? I still feel guilty about that Christmas.
Since you're always giving the rest of us such great support, here's a big hug for you! (((((((((((((((((Emily)))))))))))))))))) I know you'll be off of Klonopin before you know it! If you can get off of Tramadol I believe you can break any drug habit.
Alright I'm signing off now. I'm sure you all get tired of these marathon posts, but it is such a big help to be able to come here and get all this out. Even if no one actually reads it all, just posting it up with everyone else's is somehow therapeutic. Does that sound crazy?
Faith and strength to all of you,
Cecie
Kel, if you are still reading posts here, don't be discouraged and listen to Emily! Those of us who are now celebrating being off this drug do so because we remember what kind of hell we went through to get off Tramadol. Don't give up! It's so worth going through the hell to get to the light at the end.
Sue, thanks for the tip on the yoga! I'm definitely going to look it up and at least give it a go. I used to do Bikram yoga like Emily and it helps considerably. Just for the record, the Master Cleanse or the Lemonade Diet *****! totally *****! that maple syrup-lemon-cayenne concoction you're supposed to suck down 6 times a day is the worst! I only made it 2 days. then I caved and ate pumpkin pie. I'm glad to read I'm not the only one wanting to scarf down anything within reach that even hints at having sugar in it. I was thinking maybe it was just me and my total lack of willpower and self-discipline.
Tone, you go! Like Emily said, don't worry about if you're doing it right, just do it in a way that works for you. If you can handle tapering off that much go for it! I remember trying to drop down 1/2 a pill, being ok for a day, but then the next day I would need a little more before I could drop down again. I had 50 mg white tablets that I would cut in 4 pieces and go down or up one little piece at a time until I was down to one measly little piece a day, then I quit altogether.
I still have some hints of withdrawal like the RLS and some serious sugar cravings, but that is even subsiding. The RLS doesn't show up now until about 1 am and goes away about 4 am, which is much better than the 10 pm to 5 am stretch that I was suffering through.
Emergee, thanks for the tip on the Hylands stuff! I'm going to try it. I'll try anything. :> I totally relate to the not wanting to go out or be sociable or do anything that you used to take pleasure in. I was like that too, and my hubby would get so aggravated because we used to always go out and hang with friends and the like. The bad thing is that I just thought I was getting old! I thought I had just outgrown all that "juvenile partying stuff". Now I'm the one who wants to get out of the house and go do something. We're even throwing a new year's eve party this year and I'm actually looking forward to it. As far as divorce goes, it's a lot like getting off of Tramadol. the first year is the hardest, but once you get past that milestone you are sooooooo glad you're a free woman! divorcing my first husband was the best thing I ever did for my little girl and me and I have never regretted it. It's been 10 years now and my life is far better than it would have ever been if I had stayed married to that man. so hang in there!
Emily, I keep forgetting about your Imodium AD trick. I think my brain associates Imodium with my grandmother and immediately dismisses any suggestion that it might be useful for anything I might have. And your Christmas story really brought back memories! When I was taking my highest dose of Tramadol, I remember my brother and his two daughters drove from Florida to our house for Christmas. (I'm in Texas) At the time I was at my most unsociable and i was sleeping about 16 hours a day. My daughter was 12, and she and my two nieces were up at 7:00 Christmas morning salivating over the presents. But me, I slept in until noon. My hubby finally came in and dragged me out of bed because everyone else was up and waiting on me to open presents and have dinner. The worst part, I didn't care. I just wanted to sleep. I reluctantly skulked to the living room, participated in the great gift unwrapping, and then promptly lay down on the couch and went back to sleep. didn't help with dinner, didn't eat dinner, didn't help clean up after dinner.....nothing. Can you imagine? Not even being excited about Christmas? Not even about seeing your little darling open her presents and be all happy and surprised? Making the kiddos wait 5 hours to open presents and then act like it was a major inconvenience to expect me to show up for the day? I still feel guilty about that Christmas.
Since you're always giving the rest of us such great support, here's a big hug for you! (((((((((((((((((Emily)))))))))))))))))) I know you'll be off of Klonopin before you know it! If you can get off of Tramadol I believe you can break any drug habit.
Alright I'm signing off now. I'm sure you all get tired of these marathon posts, but it is such a big help to be able to come here and get all this out. Even if no one actually reads it all, just posting it up with everyone else's is somehow therapeutic. Does that sound crazy?
Faith and strength to all of you,
Cecie
((((((((((((((((((Sue)))))))))))))))))))))))) Hang in there! a bad day is just that. a bad day. just keep reminding yourself....it gets better...it gets better....it gets better! On bad days I always go back and read some of Emily's earlier posts. Those are the best on bad days.
Matt, it took me 36 days to taper off. There were several times when I would drop down a dose and then have to bump it back up a little because the withdrawal was so severe. Just don't give up. Listen to your body and take as little as you possibly can to get you through. Eventually you will be able to get off the drug altogether.
It's nice knowing you guys are out there posting to Emily's journal right now. :> I feel so connected.
Cecie
Matt, it took me 36 days to taper off. There were several times when I would drop down a dose and then have to bump it back up a little because the withdrawal was so severe. Just don't give up. Listen to your body and take as little as you possibly can to get you through. Eventually you will be able to get off the drug altogether.
It's nice knowing you guys are out there posting to Emily's journal right now. :> I feel so connected.
Cecie
tramateacher,
would you say what your status is? how long you have been free of it? how exactly you are feeling? do you feel great? i really want to know the truth. someone else who is at 12 days reported depression. anyone else on that? i really like exact information on all levels. with information i am armed for battle. if it sneaks up on me then its scarier. so you guys ahead of me, don't be afraid to give the bad news too.
newbie,
i didn't mess around with tapering very much because once i found this forum and realized what a jam i was in i couldn't stand this drug in my body a second longer than necessary. it is possible there would be less trauma to me and my life if i had tapered very very slowly but i didn't have the patience. i also don't have to go to a job so it is perhaps easy for me to say that. it has cost me though, a fair amount too. i missed an opportunity to make a lot of money and i even knew it but i was too out of it to work. i think some of this decision is personality too. i tend to get passionate about stuff. i also felt so intensely awful on the taper , it was like," why not jump off?" i actually felt better after i did.
as for props and aids. buy every single thing people have told you. all the aminos, clonapin helps, dvds, heating pad, hot baths with minerals, HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS, ( i am very serious about that one, it's the most obnoxious symptom of all and this stuff takes it away)
and yeah, i attributed a lot of my problems to aging. a neck problem i had has GONE AWAY in 5 days.
keep posting people, it is helping me alot to hear from the T folks, you are the ones that get it and T is different.
emergee
would you say what your status is? how long you have been free of it? how exactly you are feeling? do you feel great? i really want to know the truth. someone else who is at 12 days reported depression. anyone else on that? i really like exact information on all levels. with information i am armed for battle. if it sneaks up on me then its scarier. so you guys ahead of me, don't be afraid to give the bad news too.
newbie,
i didn't mess around with tapering very much because once i found this forum and realized what a jam i was in i couldn't stand this drug in my body a second longer than necessary. it is possible there would be less trauma to me and my life if i had tapered very very slowly but i didn't have the patience. i also don't have to go to a job so it is perhaps easy for me to say that. it has cost me though, a fair amount too. i missed an opportunity to make a lot of money and i even knew it but i was too out of it to work. i think some of this decision is personality too. i tend to get passionate about stuff. i also felt so intensely awful on the taper , it was like," why not jump off?" i actually felt better after i did.
as for props and aids. buy every single thing people have told you. all the aminos, clonapin helps, dvds, heating pad, hot baths with minerals, HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS, ( i am very serious about that one, it's the most obnoxious symptom of all and this stuff takes it away)
and yeah, i attributed a lot of my problems to aging. a neck problem i had has GONE AWAY in 5 days.
keep posting people, it is helping me alot to hear from the T folks, you are the ones that get it and T is different.
emergee
Hi. I have been reading all the posts (well, not ALL YET lol) all day today. I am wide awake, its 10 35pm here in TX and I would like to contribute what I know about tramadol. My doctor put me on it in 1995 because he thought that Vic. 7.5 was too strong for me, I didn't mind at the time. I have carpal tunnel in both hands and tennis elbow in both also, surgery on one arm, didn't work, anyway, I took tramadol for 4 years. Not much, like 3 or 4 a day as requested on the bottle. He had told me back then that it was NOT a narcotic (the only pain med that was NOT) and of course I believed him, he had been my doc. for 3 years and was a good one, I thought. He also had me taking clonopin for sleep, and xanax to take during the day which I never could. Stuff knocks me out. It's day 1 for me off lorcet tho, bet I could take 4 or 5 xanax right now lol,,,,anyway, what I wanted to say was that maybe these doctors really believe?? that this is not a narcotic medication?? Shortly after I quit taking this in 1998 I went back to vic. then on to Lorcet. I have a friend who lives in this travel park with me who takes ultram and she said her doctor told her it was a non narcotic. Can they all be blind to this? Curious about that...
No Michele.
They know Tramadol is dangerous. They also know it will not get them into trouble when they hand it out like candy.
They aren't the innocent victims here. The patients who lose years of their life to this drug are.
Sweden reclassified Tramadol as a dangerous narcotic in May 2008. Becuase Sweden has one of the best health care systems in the world.
Several other countries have dealt with Tramadol in a much healthier manner than the USA.
I'm not big on the whole "poor Innocent Doctors angle." They know.
They know Tramadol is dangerous. They also know it will not get them into trouble when they hand it out like candy.
They aren't the innocent victims here. The patients who lose years of their life to this drug are.
Sweden reclassified Tramadol as a dangerous narcotic in May 2008. Becuase Sweden has one of the best health care systems in the world.
Several other countries have dealt with Tramadol in a much healthier manner than the USA.
I'm not big on the whole "poor Innocent Doctors angle." They know.
Emily, This site just possibly could save my life. I found it about a week ago, while surfing net the net to learn how difficult withdrawing from tramadol really would be. At that time, i thought you all were liars, because I found it impoossible to believe that anyone could actually kick this ****.
Last Wed., I had an ahha moment and realized I was in denial abouty my addiction. What I see now in all of your posts is hope, reassurance, and knowledge I can relate to, Sadly, I am still a "work in process", but I am fighting it at least now instead of giving in.
My Story: About six years ago I had bilateral (both sides) hip replacement. I was 51 at the time. A few months after my surgeries, I needed something to taper me off the percocet so my doctor prescribed tramadol. So I came by this addiction honestly, as I suspect most of us do. I still can't believe that I found relief on just one of two 37.5 mg Ultrams. But 1-2 pills were never enough.
It's amazing how this drug sinks it's hooks into a person. I changd doctors (the health insurance change thing) and while my initial M.D., kept me on a tight leash, the new doc prescribed 180 pills of 50 MG tradadol, which at 2/day should be a 90 day supply. I thought more made me feel better so I increased my dosage to about 12-15 pills/day.
Imagine how despart I became when my doctor eventually "cut me off" until I came in to see how. A consulting nurse got me a few to get me by, but ever since that time, for the past 4-5 years, I am on limited supply with a "don't fill by" date. I am supposed to get by on 8/day but I typically took about 12 per day after each new RX came in. by the last several days of the supply, I was on "forced withdrawal" ...ugh. I can relate to everything others have shared except the complaints of depression. Do some people begin taking this for depression? i thought it was only a pain med? Exactly where can somebody go to learn about what "additive ingredients" are in tramadol. Was this a recent develoment?
Evrey month for the past 4-5 years, I have done the "forced" withdrawal going from 8 pills/day down to only 2/day for remaining 3-4 dfays or so before I can call in the next RX. And if my doctor doesn't happen to be in on the day I call in the RX, heaven help us all. It is a terrible thing to go into crisis mode one day a month on RX day. Being without iwas just not an option.
During each monthly withdrawal, I would get pins and needles in my feet and I cannot sleep. I laughed to read someone post that they got up about 47 times during the night. I can definately relate.
I am done (I hope) constantly withdrawing from this evil drug during the last several days of every month. All these years, I had convinced myself that I had come down with FM, during my monthly withdrawals, because I would ache in places I didn't know I had. My back, my feet, my knees, my arms, etc. I have the sweats, achy flu symptoms, etc. etc. like all of you. The funny thing is, thing I originally started taking tramadol for (my hips) hardly bother me at all now. But I reasoned that the tramadol was actually doing a good thing, it was masking all of these FM type aches and pains that I had coincidentally developed while I was on this miracle drug.
I have missed a day from work at least one time a month, for a long time now and I have felt like HELL for several more days every month as I go through my "forced withdrawal" each month.
I am hopintg thta I have turned the page and to a large part, all of the postings on thissite, healped me to see the drug for waht it is and you all hve given me hope that I too might successfully kick this for good. As someone said on this site a long time ago, ":it is WAR" that we must wage, one person, one moment, one day at a time, against this evil drug. that makes us in more pain, than before we began the journey.
And what will it take to educate the medical community? To his credit, a few months ago, my doctor did tell me that I should try to taper off this. But he didn't really understand how serious and how difficult withdrawing really is. "It CAN become addictive". I thought to myself, yeah, Iv'e been taking this for six years now doctor, exactly when do you think that I should get concerned? Yup, it certainly CAN be addictive all right doc! His comment and the fact that he continues to fill my RX makes me think that he doesn't know how potent and frightening this drug is.
Six days ago, I figured I had three choices: (1) continue suffering from monthly withdrawal from this evil drug every month for the rest of my life , (2) start ordering a back up stash through one of the online sites, (3) get off this bad boy.
So I am now at day six and I have gone from 8 or more 50 mg. pills/day to just 9 pills total in six days. Tomorrow I intend to go the rest of the way cold turkey. The reason I originally began taking this evil rat drug is a distant memory. I am afraid that I must do it this way, for I like the way a few of those things feel way to much to stop at just 2 a day.
It's still terribly painful all over my body. When will the pins and needles in my feet finally go away for good? The sleep depervation due to loss of sleep is terrible. Fortunally, I am on vacation this week, so I hv ethe largess of sleeping in (potentially, at least)
I have learned a great deal from all of the postings here Emily. Thank you for monitoring this site long after your personal addiction was beaten, at least for today.
In closing, I too am struck by how little the medical community knows about this drug. Coincidentally, I had a check up today with my orthopedic surgeon on my original problem, artificial hips. This was a board certifed surgeon I was talking to, who undoubtedly has prescribed the gammit of pain killers for patients over her years in practice. I told her that I am trying to get off the stuff and I asked her point blank, what do you know about withdrawl from tramadol? "I really know nothing about withdrawal from that drug", she replied. Emily, I can't recall whether it was you or someone else who said this, but I too am convinced that some day in the not too distant future, we will turn on 60 minutes one Sunday Night and see an exposee on tramadol. Shortly after that, tramadol will properly become a scheduled narcotic as it ought to be.
Wish me luck. Finally Fred?
Last Wed., I had an ahha moment and realized I was in denial abouty my addiction. What I see now in all of your posts is hope, reassurance, and knowledge I can relate to, Sadly, I am still a "work in process", but I am fighting it at least now instead of giving in.
My Story: About six years ago I had bilateral (both sides) hip replacement. I was 51 at the time. A few months after my surgeries, I needed something to taper me off the percocet so my doctor prescribed tramadol. So I came by this addiction honestly, as I suspect most of us do. I still can't believe that I found relief on just one of two 37.5 mg Ultrams. But 1-2 pills were never enough.
It's amazing how this drug sinks it's hooks into a person. I changd doctors (the health insurance change thing) and while my initial M.D., kept me on a tight leash, the new doc prescribed 180 pills of 50 MG tradadol, which at 2/day should be a 90 day supply. I thought more made me feel better so I increased my dosage to about 12-15 pills/day.
Imagine how despart I became when my doctor eventually "cut me off" until I came in to see how. A consulting nurse got me a few to get me by, but ever since that time, for the past 4-5 years, I am on limited supply with a "don't fill by" date. I am supposed to get by on 8/day but I typically took about 12 per day after each new RX came in. by the last several days of the supply, I was on "forced withdrawal" ...ugh. I can relate to everything others have shared except the complaints of depression. Do some people begin taking this for depression? i thought it was only a pain med? Exactly where can somebody go to learn about what "additive ingredients" are in tramadol. Was this a recent develoment?
Evrey month for the past 4-5 years, I have done the "forced" withdrawal going from 8 pills/day down to only 2/day for remaining 3-4 dfays or so before I can call in the next RX. And if my doctor doesn't happen to be in on the day I call in the RX, heaven help us all. It is a terrible thing to go into crisis mode one day a month on RX day. Being without iwas just not an option.
During each monthly withdrawal, I would get pins and needles in my feet and I cannot sleep. I laughed to read someone post that they got up about 47 times during the night. I can definately relate.
I am done (I hope) constantly withdrawing from this evil drug during the last several days of every month. All these years, I had convinced myself that I had come down with FM, during my monthly withdrawals, because I would ache in places I didn't know I had. My back, my feet, my knees, my arms, etc. I have the sweats, achy flu symptoms, etc. etc. like all of you. The funny thing is, thing I originally started taking tramadol for (my hips) hardly bother me at all now. But I reasoned that the tramadol was actually doing a good thing, it was masking all of these FM type aches and pains that I had coincidentally developed while I was on this miracle drug.
I have missed a day from work at least one time a month, for a long time now and I have felt like HELL for several more days every month as I go through my "forced withdrawal" each month.
I am hopintg thta I have turned the page and to a large part, all of the postings on thissite, healped me to see the drug for waht it is and you all hve given me hope that I too might successfully kick this for good. As someone said on this site a long time ago, ":it is WAR" that we must wage, one person, one moment, one day at a time, against this evil drug. that makes us in more pain, than before we began the journey.
And what will it take to educate the medical community? To his credit, a few months ago, my doctor did tell me that I should try to taper off this. But he didn't really understand how serious and how difficult withdrawing really is. "It CAN become addictive". I thought to myself, yeah, Iv'e been taking this for six years now doctor, exactly when do you think that I should get concerned? Yup, it certainly CAN be addictive all right doc! His comment and the fact that he continues to fill my RX makes me think that he doesn't know how potent and frightening this drug is.
Six days ago, I figured I had three choices: (1) continue suffering from monthly withdrawal from this evil drug every month for the rest of my life , (2) start ordering a back up stash through one of the online sites, (3) get off this bad boy.
So I am now at day six and I have gone from 8 or more 50 mg. pills/day to just 9 pills total in six days. Tomorrow I intend to go the rest of the way cold turkey. The reason I originally began taking this evil rat drug is a distant memory. I am afraid that I must do it this way, for I like the way a few of those things feel way to much to stop at just 2 a day.
It's still terribly painful all over my body. When will the pins and needles in my feet finally go away for good? The sleep depervation due to loss of sleep is terrible. Fortunally, I am on vacation this week, so I hv ethe largess of sleeping in (potentially, at least)
I have learned a great deal from all of the postings here Emily. Thank you for monitoring this site long after your personal addiction was beaten, at least for today.
In closing, I too am struck by how little the medical community knows about this drug. Coincidentally, I had a check up today with my orthopedic surgeon on my original problem, artificial hips. This was a board certifed surgeon I was talking to, who undoubtedly has prescribed the gammit of pain killers for patients over her years in practice. I told her that I am trying to get off the stuff and I asked her point blank, what do you know about withdrawl from tramadol? "I really know nothing about withdrawal from that drug", she replied. Emily, I can't recall whether it was you or someone else who said this, but I too am convinced that some day in the not too distant future, we will turn on 60 minutes one Sunday Night and see an exposee on tramadol. Shortly after that, tramadol will properly become a scheduled narcotic as it ought to be.
Wish me luck. Finally Fred?
Well, I just got into work after one of the worst night's sleep I have ever had. I tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep until 5am, and then it was time to get up at 7am. All this because I went from 6 100mg pills a day to 5 100mg pills! I don't think I can take it, it was awful. I just had this knot in my stomach and this uncomfortable feeling all night. I ended up taking my usual 2 100mg pills when I woke up and now I am feeling good again. I don't know why, but all I want to do is sleep lately. It almost feels like all of the things that Tramadol used to give me (pain relief, increased energy and motivation, increased desire to socialize, appetite suppression, weight loss) have all turned on me and I am experiencing the exact opposite of each of those symptoms. It is horrible. I have gained a lot of weight in the last few months, all I want to do is sleep and be in bed watching TV or movies, never want to go out, exercise, or do the things I used to love to do. Work is so hard to get through the day, all I can think about is going home and getting into bed. I even go out to my car for a couple hours now and take a nap when no one in my office knows about it. What have I become??? My in-laws have even noticed now and my mother in law wants to put me on Wellbutrin for my depression because it helped her. I have to figure out how to get off this stuff soon, but I don't know how or when. I have a 5 day ski trip coming up that I need to feel good for so I can't do it then. Then I am off for 5 days during Christmas at my in-laws house, and I am thinking about going cold turkey then, and just being sick like the flu for those 5 days. My concern is going back to work after those 5 days and still feeling bad. I don't know what to do.
Sorry for my rambling, I am all over the place after getting only 2 hours of sleep last night. For now, I am going to put off the task until later, because I can't take it right now.
Thanks for your words of advice and comfort - keep em coming!
Matt
Sorry for my rambling, I am all over the place after getting only 2 hours of sleep last night. For now, I am going to put off the task until later, because I can't take it right now.
Thanks for your words of advice and comfort - keep em coming!
Matt
hi all,
i have to whine, i'm sorry , i can't help it. day 6- woke up clearer in the head- i had good expectations for the day. it's now11 am and i am crashing and burning. it's getting worse! i can't believe it. everyday has been better. and mornings usually much better than the rest of the day. i feel really sick. not flu-ey, but poisoned feeling. anyone know that feeling? i have taken ibuprofin and lomotil . maybe cough syrop will help. i don't want to take a clonapin because that is the next project i have. getting off those babies. my usage has been creeping up and my doc is on to it, so my scrip will probably be under some questioning. i feel terrible!!!!!!!!!
i have to whine, i'm sorry , i can't help it. day 6- woke up clearer in the head- i had good expectations for the day. it's now11 am and i am crashing and burning. it's getting worse! i can't believe it. everyday has been better. and mornings usually much better than the rest of the day. i feel really sick. not flu-ey, but poisoned feeling. anyone know that feeling? i have taken ibuprofin and lomotil . maybe cough syrop will help. i don't want to take a clonapin because that is the next project i have. getting off those babies. my usage has been creeping up and my doc is on to it, so my scrip will probably be under some questioning. i feel terrible!!!!!!!!!
this drug doesn't play fair. yesterday i was complaining about my brain. my brain got marginally better today , but then the sickness got way worse. i had been patting myself on the back about how well i was doing. i was telling myself it was because i was healthier than some other posters. i have always taken vitamins etc. ate organic food, no drinking. what a joke. what was the point of organic food if i am destroying my liver with this ****? i only have one kidney too and i pray i have not wrecked it. DAY 6 people. be prepared to be suprised. i know emily said this. i know i know but i thought i was going to beat the odds. the shelling. i am being shelled. but how do you keep your head down? any tricks for passing through the hell zone? the problem is the first few days you know you will be sick and you just are happy that you are enduring it without going out of your mind. then you kind of hope it gets better. it does get better! then shelling!!!!!!!!incoming!!!!!!
can i say **** here? ****!!!!!!!!!!
can i say **** here? ****!!!!!!!!!!
Emergee,
You're being shelled. To pass thru the hell zone, remember to breathe. Drink some hot tea if you can. Chamomile. I used to eat a honey stick. Yes, just straight up honey.
The worst thing you can do is think about the future and everything you have to do. One day at a time is too long for Tramadol. Take it the next minute if you have to. Make a list when you can of what you do when you get shelled.
I personally would just breathe, stay still, keep warm, or cool as the body temperature fluxuated.
The problem with Tramadol is that it is not "a little better every day" consistently. It's very Random.
So you should not have expectations that you will get better in a linear way.
You'll have random horrible minutes or hours.
Knowig it is random, helped me a great deal. Remember you are loved. You matter.
Nothing was more important to me than getting off the Tramadol. And yes, I am paying for it now. Increased work load, increased stress. But I am not on a pill that would kill me. Or cause me to have a massive seizure.
Love and healing,
Emily
You're being shelled. To pass thru the hell zone, remember to breathe. Drink some hot tea if you can. Chamomile. I used to eat a honey stick. Yes, just straight up honey.
The worst thing you can do is think about the future and everything you have to do. One day at a time is too long for Tramadol. Take it the next minute if you have to. Make a list when you can of what you do when you get shelled.
I personally would just breathe, stay still, keep warm, or cool as the body temperature fluxuated.
The problem with Tramadol is that it is not "a little better every day" consistently. It's very Random.
So you should not have expectations that you will get better in a linear way.
You'll have random horrible minutes or hours.
Knowig it is random, helped me a great deal. Remember you are loved. You matter.
Nothing was more important to me than getting off the Tramadol. And yes, I am paying for it now. Increased work load, increased stress. But I am not on a pill that would kill me. Or cause me to have a massive seizure.
Love and healing,
Emily
yeah, T is like an angry god. when you think you are mastering it , it laughs and smacks you back down. that was the mistake i made- i thought i was going to get some stuff done. ha! hot tea, that's the ticket. thanks e.
anyone here know why artificial sweeteners are so bad? i read that it is very important to not eat them during detox. i know they arent' generally great but is there something special here?
anyone here know why artificial sweeteners are so bad? i read that it is very important to not eat them during detox. i know they arent' generally great but is there something special here?
(((((tramateacher)))))... thank you. It was more of a 'bad week', but today is brighter.
Emily is absolutely right with the one moment at a time advice. Looking forward just brings on fear.
(((Emergee))) and others doing this.. some breathing practices I have found that help:
Deep yogic breath is good, but you need to learn it from a good teacher. To breath down into the abdomen, lie on your back, stretch your arms above your head. Bend your knees with feet close together and then flop the knees outwards. This will take you into deep abdominal breathing.
Square breathing is very settling - imagine a square and travel up the left side to the count of 4, inhaling. Hold the breath in for 4 as you travel along the top of the square. Exhale for 4 down the right side. Hold out for 4 along the base.
When the mind comes in and hounds you, mentally count louder! Make sure you breath deeply!
Mental alternate nostril breathing: Just imagine you are only breathing in through the left nostril for the count of 4. Hold the breath in for 4. Imagine you are breathing out through the right for 4. Then go back in the right, hold, out through the left.. and keep repeating.
Awareness of breath really has helped bring me back to the moment...
Hope it helps.
Peace and strength,
Sue
Emily is absolutely right with the one moment at a time advice. Looking forward just brings on fear.
(((Emergee))) and others doing this.. some breathing practices I have found that help:
Deep yogic breath is good, but you need to learn it from a good teacher. To breath down into the abdomen, lie on your back, stretch your arms above your head. Bend your knees with feet close together and then flop the knees outwards. This will take you into deep abdominal breathing.
Square breathing is very settling - imagine a square and travel up the left side to the count of 4, inhaling. Hold the breath in for 4 as you travel along the top of the square. Exhale for 4 down the right side. Hold out for 4 along the base.
When the mind comes in and hounds you, mentally count louder! Make sure you breath deeply!
Mental alternate nostril breathing: Just imagine you are only breathing in through the left nostril for the count of 4. Hold the breath in for 4. Imagine you are breathing out through the right for 4. Then go back in the right, hold, out through the left.. and keep repeating.
Awareness of breath really has helped bring me back to the moment...
Hope it helps.
Peace and strength,
Sue
Here's a new one (or is it? - I haven't seen it on any posts)... sneezing. And sneezing again. Sneezing till your sternum feels like it has come adrift.
I did some research and found out that sneezing is one of the symproms of Dilaudid withdrawal. I've never heard of Dilaudid before but apparantly it is a really really potent opoid painkiller.
Isn't it amazing that Tramal, this supposedly non-opoid, non-addictive painkiller is so addictive and opoid? - with a few more random bits for good measure???
At least with sneezing it just looks like an allergy. The tremours are a little more difficult to explain away :-)
I did some research and found out that sneezing is one of the symproms of Dilaudid withdrawal. I've never heard of Dilaudid before but apparantly it is a really really potent opoid painkiller.
Isn't it amazing that Tramal, this supposedly non-opoid, non-addictive painkiller is so addictive and opoid? - with a few more random bits for good measure???
At least with sneezing it just looks like an allergy. The tremours are a little more difficult to explain away :-)
is nutrasweet really really bad? i've heard that of course but ignored it. i have a serious snapple habit. i feel so poisoned that now i am wondering if i need to get on that one too. do any of you have any information about it. wikipedia defends it.
Emergee, I really don't know a lot about them, as I just don't use them. But in terms of giving things up, I would say, one thing at a time. Don't make things too difficult!
As to being contraindicated during detox, hopefully someone else will know more.
As to being contraindicated during detox, hopefully someone else will know more.
Sneezing is super crazy common. Crazy sneezing. Ridiculous over the top circus freak sneezing. Yeppers! Tremors. Yep. Walked into any walls yet? That was fun. Losing balance ... yep. So annoying. But a darn good ign cause it meant I was going thru withdrawal whihc meat soon enough I wouldn't be on Tramadol anymore.
Sweet emergee, I am with Sue here ... one thing at a time. Relax, breathe, one thing at a time.
I remember really clearly this moment of .. clarity. I thought, "I'm not going to take this Tramadol again. Never. No matter what, I'm not taking it."
I knew it was out to kill me ...
Love and healing,
Emily
Sweet emergee, I am with Sue here ... one thing at a time. Relax, breathe, one thing at a time.
I remember really clearly this moment of .. clarity. I thought, "I'm not going to take this Tramadol again. Never. No matter what, I'm not taking it."
I knew it was out to kill me ...
Love and healing,
Emily
I selected my screen name because I know that it is impairative that FINALLY find my self again, free of addiction to tramadol. Only when I prevail in this fight, will I be FINALLY FRED again.
I am full of questions tonight and a desire to get off this stuff, but I don't have a a long string of successes to share as yet. I am appreciating hearing your stories and they are encouraging me in this WAR. After averaging 8 - 50 mg pills/day for six years, and feeling like I was needing more and more to get through the day, I have force tapered such that I have averaged just two/day over the past six days and today, I haven't had ANY in the last 24 hours so I am on to day two of first attempt to cold turkey this dreadful drug that has gripped me for over six years. My only saving grace is that we had the four day weekend for Thanksgiving and I am off this week on vacation, so I can deal with the no sleep thing if I must.
How long must we endure the daily aches, pains, sleeplessness, indigestion, loose bowls, pins and needles in our legs and feet, before we can feel like we have come through the tunnel? How many days? Can anyone tell me? This is a WAR I am able to fight only one moment at a time. But how long will the war go on before i am able to talk about the above symnptoms in the past tense.
Emily's discussion of recovery not being linear is a little frightening to me at the moment. You would think that every day get's progressively better than the day before, but if that isn't so, could someone at least tell how long the sleeplessness and pins and needles in the feet goes on after one stops taking ANY of the drug? How many days of cold turkey will it take for these symptoms to go away. From you "experienced' kickers, are you saying these symptoms will reappear a month from now? A year from now? And if the pain that we originally took this drug for persists, are we doomed to a life on NSAIDs. I fight but this is difficult. Mothers don't let your kids grow up to take tramadol, even when the good doctor prescribes it for you.
MATT, I feel your pain man. There is no question but that I once felt the theraputic affects of tramadol like you have (pain free most of the time, lots of energy, and motivation because we were without pain) but the drug "turned on me" too when I would be forced to drastically taper at the end of every month. Fortunately, I telecommute and have been known to nap at lunch when I am running low on tramadol. I am not sure if we are supposed to share advice, but Matt, if you are considering going cold turkey while at your in laws for 5 days, I wouldn't do it without telling them about your plan. Your recovery WILL BE your vacation. Clearly, you will be up and down all night long and I would guess a bite disruptive to the household. Having said that, that would be a nice time to detox without having to show up at work the next morning.
People will ask, what you did on your vacation. It surely won't include pictures of Micky Mouse or the Rocky Mountains, but I am hoping that this "vacation" week for me, may just be the most important week off I have had in a long while.
I have got to inquire, am I the only one who went through forced painful withdrawal EVERY perscription cycle? Because the prescribed amount was doing less and less for me, I used more than my "prescribed daily dosage" early on in the cycle, leaving me precious few for the last several days? I'd like to hear from someone else who put up with this bull **** and the regular painful withdrawal symptoms EVERY month. (there Emily, I did my own edit! :) For me, getting off that elevator of pain, sleeplessness, and flue like symptoms MONTH AFTER MONTH is going to be worth it, even if for no other reason. Matt, I know that tapering as you have is difficult. Progress not perfection my friend. If you take a step back one day, don't beat yourself up over it. I sense that like me, you have made beating this the most important thing in your life right now. Nobody who has been in the clutches of tramadol would wish you anything but wellness, peace and success, how ever that happens for you. Hang in there. I TOTALLY feel your pain.
Tonight I have already taken one bath and soaked my feet on another occassion to ease the foot pain. Is there nothing that can be prescribed to help us withdraw from this addictive insidious drug? As evidenced by the late hour right now, I have been unable sleep. Exactly when does the peace come? When can we declare the war to be over? I have no desire to take more tramadol, but the withdrawal is DREADFUL. I totally sympathize with those who give in and take this drug tonight so they can experience blessed sleep. But for me, tonight, right now, I am choosing to stand and fight.
More questions: When our good doctors recommend tappering off this drug, do they actually know what they are asking? Do they know how painful the withdrawal symptoms are, even in reducing our dose, sway from 8 to say, 6 pills/day? Emily, you have indicated that in fact doctors do know about this medication, but can you explain how it is that you know that they know? Like so many others, the doctor who originally prescribed this for me told that this was not a narcotic and he sure didn't explain what withdrawal would be like. And Emily, if you are sure most doctors who perscribe this know all these things, why would they prescribe it? I have never been addicted to other prescribed medication, but how does kicking this compare to kicking other prescribed drugs? I can't imagine anything being any worse.
And don't you love it when a doctor gives you idle trite advise like, "be careful", "these could be addictive". No **** doc!
From the postings I have read, I would judge that most of us are caring, hard working, highly motivated, professional folks, who came by this addiction honestly. And if we who have stumbled upon this site are finding some hope, some guidance, and some encouragement, what is available to those who those who continue to suffer in silence?
I am sure that a tramadol user will read this post one day and like many of us, will deny that he/she is addicted to tramadol. To that person, I would Take none in the morning, none during the day, none at night and none until you wake up the next day. If you had a pleasant sleep and felt none of the withdrawal symptoms you have read in these postings that others of us have experienced, I guess you don't have a problem. Lucky guy/girl. Still, I suggest you test this every few months, because my guess is that if you keep taking this evil drug long enough, you will find that you need more and more of it to put you in that lovely theraputic state we all once enjoyed. AND IF YOU WEREN'T ABLE TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT AND YOU FEEL LIKE **** THE NEXT DAY, come back and visit this site again.
Hoping to one day be FINALLY FRED again, but tonight it's war.
I am full of questions tonight and a desire to get off this stuff, but I don't have a a long string of successes to share as yet. I am appreciating hearing your stories and they are encouraging me in this WAR. After averaging 8 - 50 mg pills/day for six years, and feeling like I was needing more and more to get through the day, I have force tapered such that I have averaged just two/day over the past six days and today, I haven't had ANY in the last 24 hours so I am on to day two of first attempt to cold turkey this dreadful drug that has gripped me for over six years. My only saving grace is that we had the four day weekend for Thanksgiving and I am off this week on vacation, so I can deal with the no sleep thing if I must.
How long must we endure the daily aches, pains, sleeplessness, indigestion, loose bowls, pins and needles in our legs and feet, before we can feel like we have come through the tunnel? How many days? Can anyone tell me? This is a WAR I am able to fight only one moment at a time. But how long will the war go on before i am able to talk about the above symnptoms in the past tense.
Emily's discussion of recovery not being linear is a little frightening to me at the moment. You would think that every day get's progressively better than the day before, but if that isn't so, could someone at least tell how long the sleeplessness and pins and needles in the feet goes on after one stops taking ANY of the drug? How many days of cold turkey will it take for these symptoms to go away. From you "experienced' kickers, are you saying these symptoms will reappear a month from now? A year from now? And if the pain that we originally took this drug for persists, are we doomed to a life on NSAIDs. I fight but this is difficult. Mothers don't let your kids grow up to take tramadol, even when the good doctor prescribes it for you.
MATT, I feel your pain man. There is no question but that I once felt the theraputic affects of tramadol like you have (pain free most of the time, lots of energy, and motivation because we were without pain) but the drug "turned on me" too when I would be forced to drastically taper at the end of every month. Fortunately, I telecommute and have been known to nap at lunch when I am running low on tramadol. I am not sure if we are supposed to share advice, but Matt, if you are considering going cold turkey while at your in laws for 5 days, I wouldn't do it without telling them about your plan. Your recovery WILL BE your vacation. Clearly, you will be up and down all night long and I would guess a bite disruptive to the household. Having said that, that would be a nice time to detox without having to show up at work the next morning.
People will ask, what you did on your vacation. It surely won't include pictures of Micky Mouse or the Rocky Mountains, but I am hoping that this "vacation" week for me, may just be the most important week off I have had in a long while.
I have got to inquire, am I the only one who went through forced painful withdrawal EVERY perscription cycle? Because the prescribed amount was doing less and less for me, I used more than my "prescribed daily dosage" early on in the cycle, leaving me precious few for the last several days? I'd like to hear from someone else who put up with this bull **** and the regular painful withdrawal symptoms EVERY month. (there Emily, I did my own edit! :) For me, getting off that elevator of pain, sleeplessness, and flue like symptoms MONTH AFTER MONTH is going to be worth it, even if for no other reason. Matt, I know that tapering as you have is difficult. Progress not perfection my friend. If you take a step back one day, don't beat yourself up over it. I sense that like me, you have made beating this the most important thing in your life right now. Nobody who has been in the clutches of tramadol would wish you anything but wellness, peace and success, how ever that happens for you. Hang in there. I TOTALLY feel your pain.
Tonight I have already taken one bath and soaked my feet on another occassion to ease the foot pain. Is there nothing that can be prescribed to help us withdraw from this addictive insidious drug? As evidenced by the late hour right now, I have been unable sleep. Exactly when does the peace come? When can we declare the war to be over? I have no desire to take more tramadol, but the withdrawal is DREADFUL. I totally sympathize with those who give in and take this drug tonight so they can experience blessed sleep. But for me, tonight, right now, I am choosing to stand and fight.
More questions: When our good doctors recommend tappering off this drug, do they actually know what they are asking? Do they know how painful the withdrawal symptoms are, even in reducing our dose, sway from 8 to say, 6 pills/day? Emily, you have indicated that in fact doctors do know about this medication, but can you explain how it is that you know that they know? Like so many others, the doctor who originally prescribed this for me told that this was not a narcotic and he sure didn't explain what withdrawal would be like. And Emily, if you are sure most doctors who perscribe this know all these things, why would they prescribe it? I have never been addicted to other prescribed medication, but how does kicking this compare to kicking other prescribed drugs? I can't imagine anything being any worse.
And don't you love it when a doctor gives you idle trite advise like, "be careful", "these could be addictive". No **** doc!
From the postings I have read, I would judge that most of us are caring, hard working, highly motivated, professional folks, who came by this addiction honestly. And if we who have stumbled upon this site are finding some hope, some guidance, and some encouragement, what is available to those who those who continue to suffer in silence?
I am sure that a tramadol user will read this post one day and like many of us, will deny that he/she is addicted to tramadol. To that person, I would Take none in the morning, none during the day, none at night and none until you wake up the next day. If you had a pleasant sleep and felt none of the withdrawal symptoms you have read in these postings that others of us have experienced, I guess you don't have a problem. Lucky guy/girl. Still, I suggest you test this every few months, because my guess is that if you keep taking this evil drug long enough, you will find that you need more and more of it to put you in that lovely theraputic state we all once enjoyed. AND IF YOU WEREN'T ABLE TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT AND YOU FEEL LIKE **** THE NEXT DAY, come back and visit this site again.
Hoping to one day be FINALLY FRED again, but tonight it's war.
Day 2...cold turkey. Hello all. I made it through the night again without resorting to terrible T. I cannot stresss strongly enough, how important that I think it is that anyone considering stopping this drug plan their assault around an extended time away from work or a week or more of vacation. I slept only a few hours last night but plan to pick up some of the
HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS in my travels today. I am not expec ting things to be any easier ove rthe next few days, but I can't even begin to think about tomorrow...only today.
Thanks to all who have posted to this site. And Emily, thank you for hosting this long after you wer eable to kick this addiction yourself. You are helping the rest of us newbes emensly.
Hoping to once again become FINALLY FRED starting in this precious moment I have been given in the present.
HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS in my travels today. I am not expec ting things to be any easier ove rthe next few days, but I can't even begin to think about tomorrow...only today.
Thanks to all who have posted to this site. And Emily, thank you for hosting this long after you wer eable to kick this addiction yourself. You are helping the rest of us newbes emensly.
Hoping to once again become FINALLY FRED starting in this precious moment I have been given in the present.
I was prescribed Tramadol back pain, 37.5mg tabs up to 4xday. I found that I got better relief when I took 2 at a time (75mg) which is what I have been doing. I have been on them for a couple months now and am scared because I know that when I don't take them I just feel like hell. I get this headache and achiness in my neck and back. I feel sluggish and no energy. I am so sensitive to hot and cold....one second I'll be freezing and the next I'm sweating. It's terrible, I just can't function with out them. I have more pills and another refill of 120 tabs to pick up this week but I am really battling whether I should take them or quit. I'd rather wean off them slowly....but the withdrawl symptoms are so bad I don't know how I will function. I am a mother with a full time job, and can't afford to take time off work to detox. It almost seems easier to just keep taking them but I know that's not the right choice. They just make me feel so much better, it's like an instant mood lifter and all the pain and discomfort just melts away. Not to mention that I have all the energy in the world when I take them and feel like I can accomplish anything. I also have lost weight because they supress my appetite so much that I usually don't even care to eat much. I know all of you have battled this drug and I am reading all your posts thinking..."I need to quit this". I know thats what needs to happen but why is it so hard? This just seems like such an evil little pill....and when you have an md telling you that you should take them its so much harder to quit. I almost with the md would just take me off them so I wouldn't have a choice. I am so scared!
Hello J435, Be gentle with yourself. There aren't any good guys/girls and bad guys/girls here, only people who want to be rid of the T.
I was reading Emily's jounal entries this afternoon and came upon her comment on about day 16, in which she noted, " You wouldn't believe the amount of Tramadol the Internet offers you when you type in "Tramadol withdrawal support." It's pretty amazing."
If the trtuh were told, when I was seeking help for withdrawing from T, I too came upon those nasty ads. What's more, as much as i wanted to stop a week or so ago, I was scared to death of not being able to make it through, so I rationalized thta i would order a 180 pill supply, "simply as a back up plan". It's rather funny to me now, but when I was making my order, (and I have only gotten T through my doc in the past) I filled out of of my credit card and order information EXCEPT THE CREDIT CARD ACCOUNT #. By the time I had found this site, I thought I had just ordered a motherload of "back up" drugs, just in case, and I wasn't particularly proud of or happy with what I had just done. The point I suppose is that this isa a very fragile success that any of us may accomplish in our personal WAR on this drug. I would NEVER pretend to tell someone else what they should or should not do for themselves. However, I am well versed on what it's like to be on tramadol, to find that it takes an ever increasing amount of the drug to attain "theraputic levels", how terrible it is to drop below what that level is for you and the accompanying withdrawal we experience, even when we try to reduce (and not cut out entirely) this drug.
I an finding that there were a greata deal of things that I glossed over during my firts read of this site that i need to go back and reread. Emily's journal has lot's of practical advice too taht i need to read carefully.
I did paick up the Hylands Restful Legs today and I will get some immodium IB and vitimins tomorrow.
I can also see the wisdome in starting my own journaling, which I plan to start later tonight.
FINALLY FRED
I was reading Emily's jounal entries this afternoon and came upon her comment on about day 16, in which she noted, " You wouldn't believe the amount of Tramadol the Internet offers you when you type in "Tramadol withdrawal support." It's pretty amazing."
If the trtuh were told, when I was seeking help for withdrawing from T, I too came upon those nasty ads. What's more, as much as i wanted to stop a week or so ago, I was scared to death of not being able to make it through, so I rationalized thta i would order a 180 pill supply, "simply as a back up plan". It's rather funny to me now, but when I was making my order, (and I have only gotten T through my doc in the past) I filled out of of my credit card and order information EXCEPT THE CREDIT CARD ACCOUNT #. By the time I had found this site, I thought I had just ordered a motherload of "back up" drugs, just in case, and I wasn't particularly proud of or happy with what I had just done. The point I suppose is that this isa a very fragile success that any of us may accomplish in our personal WAR on this drug. I would NEVER pretend to tell someone else what they should or should not do for themselves. However, I am well versed on what it's like to be on tramadol, to find that it takes an ever increasing amount of the drug to attain "theraputic levels", how terrible it is to drop below what that level is for you and the accompanying withdrawal we experience, even when we try to reduce (and not cut out entirely) this drug.
I an finding that there were a greata deal of things that I glossed over during my firts read of this site that i need to go back and reread. Emily's journal has lot's of practical advice too taht i need to read carefully.
I did paick up the Hylands Restful Legs today and I will get some immodium IB and vitimins tomorrow.
I can also see the wisdome in starting my own journaling, which I plan to start later tonight.
FINALLY FRED
J435.. it is seductive, isn't it? But honestly, it doesn't last, that wonderful "I can do anything" feeling. If you are unable to just stop, a slow taper really is very achievable. I have gone from over 200 daily to less than 50 and, while it wasn't wonderful, the sense of achievement, of beating this thing, is actually significantly more tangible than the 'high' of Tramadol - one is false, the other very real and empowering. I know that very soon I'll be Tramal-free.
FinallyFred - go for it! Great to read your posts :-)
Peace and strength to us all,
Sue
FinallyFred - go for it! Great to read your posts :-)
Peace and strength to us all,
Sue
fred, i just sent you a note. for some reason i missed that people were posting here. i see you are duking it out. great. i kept reading and reading emilypost. last night i read for hours. it truly helps and when you get into that stuporous state in the 3rd and 4th day , it's a great thing to do. especially as you aren't good for doing much else anyway. i watched entourage. i loved it , totally into it. but something about the toxicity of this experience wafted over onto the tv set. i hate entourage now because it got tramadol on it.
okay, so i am ending my 7th day. yesterday s u c k e d. this morning i had a meltdown . raging and crying. well, my computer broke. and i had to spend hours with TECH SUPPORT. and the first tech guy pissed me off so much he hung up on me. effing control freak. ( you have to leave some room for insanity in this period) he i am sure could feel the anger seeping out of my voice even though i was trying real hard not to let it.
but THEN, i felt better. i felt almost normal. like i wasn't even really suffering. i went out for coffee and read the paper in public and walked for 30 minutes. so that's possible real soon for you, to feel almost okay. it is random though. you never know when it's going to come back and hit you.
oh, and i think tyrosine is essential. one of the top three things. i bought everything and take everything but tyrosine is very obvious in its benefit. restful legs and tyrosine.
emergee
okay, so i am ending my 7th day. yesterday s u c k e d. this morning i had a meltdown . raging and crying. well, my computer broke. and i had to spend hours with TECH SUPPORT. and the first tech guy pissed me off so much he hung up on me. effing control freak. ( you have to leave some room for insanity in this period) he i am sure could feel the anger seeping out of my voice even though i was trying real hard not to let it.
but THEN, i felt better. i felt almost normal. like i wasn't even really suffering. i went out for coffee and read the paper in public and walked for 30 minutes. so that's possible real soon for you, to feel almost okay. it is random though. you never know when it's going to come back and hit you.
oh, and i think tyrosine is essential. one of the top three things. i bought everything and take everything but tyrosine is very obvious in its benefit. restful legs and tyrosine.
emergee
I apoligize in advance for all my rantings/postings recently. Beating this addiction has, for me, become all consuming at the moment. It is all I can think of, it is all I want to read about and it is all I want to write about right now.
emergee asked me tonight how much "time" I had. What I SHOULD have told "e" is "not enough" or maybe "just barely a glimpsing, grasping, I'm trying anything now" response. Technically, it's still the evening of my second day of going cold turkey. And I must say, the five days before I stopped entirely,those days when i tapered from 8+/day to 1-2 pills/day hurt worse than the last two of COLD TURKEY. I am about as patient as I am addictable. (is that a word?) The wierd thing is that I have those sweet little white pills in my "drawer" right now and while the physical symptoms are still kicking my ars, I can chose to not take the,m. And it's actually already becoming less awful.
Kicking this evil addictive drug has become all consuming to me, just as making certain that I had a righteous supply of my DOC (drug of choice) had become all consuming these past six years. My wife sees me at this computer for hours on end and I don't think she "get's my obsession with getting off this T. Then in the evening after she goes to bed, I read and reread the postings you have made previously again. You all have become as a "higher power' to me. Mercifully, I planned my withdrawal to coincide with a week off work, so this is my "tramadol vacation", you see!
And why not have a little levity on a subject that is otherwise, so dreadfully serious. It's no big deal...it's just a matter of life or death.
I had to chuckle upon reading a post from last week by someone which read, "I've been up until 5 in the morning every night because of the restless legs symptoms, but other than that I feel fantastic!" Other than "that', Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play? But sadly, I DO know EXACTLY what that person was going through.
I want to address what I think may be a misconception of some first time guests to this site, and frankly, a feeling that I had when I first visted you all. To wit, how can these people make postings of success, when there must surely be more people like myself, who feel so defeated over this addiction?
Fair enough.
As Emily once noted, the people who log on (like me seven days ago), who are genuinely looking for help, but who are finding it impossible to take that first step, sadly don't post. I know I visited here more than once without posting and I thought you were all hypocrites or do gooders or liars at first glance. But as I ventured back to this site again and again, is search of a hope to take a first step, what I found was a bunch of sick puppies - just like myself. We are seeking to do battle with this terrible subtile, sneaky how it get's you, DENIAL wrought disease. You all just happened to be a day or a week, or a month or six months ahead of me in the fight. And hopefully, our postings will give the strength for other poor puppies like myself, to do battle with this drug once and for all.
The notion that my first TINY steps toward recovery could be something I am proud of, is laughable. Are there any sports fans out there?
Hello Sports fans, welcome to the big show. Tonight we find FRED, once again waging battle against TEAM TRAMADOL. The two have matched up previously TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND NINTY SEVEN TIMES. And the score leading into tonights contest stands at: ...TEAM TRAMADOL 2,190. and TEAM FRED 7.
I have seen some sports franchises with some terrible win/loss records. The Washinton Huskies, for example, here in Seattle, this year are a dismal 0-11 this season. Go Dawgs! :( But I can't recall EVER recall seeing a team with a win/loss record as dismal as my own. 7 wins and 2,190. losses.
Yup, that's how proud I am of myself. I have succeeded EXACTLY seven times in the past 2,197 days in my fight with this terrible drug. WHOPPY!!! So please don't anyone reading this think I have overcome anything. I just got tired of being dependant on something more powerful than myself. Tired of waking up each day, telling myself that THAT day would be different FROM ALL THAT HAD BEEN BEFORE, only to require more and more tramadol to achieve what I felt was a "necessary" pain free existance i REQUIRED in order to lead a productive work and home life. So i get that, "I can't afford to go off tramadol" reasoning. I said that 2,190/2,197 days in the past myself.
Heck, after dinner, I had so much energy on T and I felt so good that I would be known to go outside in the dark and plant bulbs in the garden. Or I would log on to my work computer in the evening and work productively until the wee hours of the morning. I HAD TRAMADOL POWER. So make no mistake, the drug made us feel very very good. That is, until we required more and more of it to work it's magic...until it turned on me and actually caused pains in places I didn't even know could hurt. Here's the really crazy thing. As I am coming off this, my hips (original complaint six years ago) don't even hurt any more.
So we come to the point where we are trapped rats. Trapped by a doctor who doesn't fully understand that the same amount of this drug will not continue to produce the well being that it did in the beginning. HINT: M.D.s won't typically prescribe more than 400 mg/day. if I had really gone to "non traditional" online methods of attaining this drug, I am unsure what might have happened to me. I would probably stil bne spending lots of $$$ on way too many pills/day just to feel "NOT unwell".
It's odd that I was never able to apply what I know from other 12 step programs to beat this disease. Once again, I didn't have a problem, OK? These were harmless, non-opiate and SUCH pretty SMALL white pills, harmless by the hand full, it seemed. I am certain that i have been in denial and have comparmentalized this addiction for a long time.
Question: How many of us shared with our siblings, cousins, parents, or even children that we tatke T? I for one did not.
So where are we at? We have denial and we have guilt and we have hiding behavior. This isn't sounding too alright to me by this point. Houston, we have a problem.
I don't know why anyone else stopped, but for me, it came down to this, did I want to constantly face withdrawal symptoms EVERY month at the end of my "allottment", when I had consumed well more than my daily dosage on the front end of a "cycle", so that I was sweating, aching, tingling everywhere ONE WEEK out of every month, or did I want to make my best effort to do WAR this time and be done with this?
You all have provided such loving advice for someone like me. Today I picked up and am using some Hylands Restful Legs, B-12 and Imodium AB. Thanks to all for the advice, it does help.
In closing, I have a pretty darned dismal record of defeating TEAM TRAMADOL. It isn't pretty where I sit. The score the past 2,197 days stands at 7 days of wins and 2,190 days of losses. Certainly nothing to be proud of.
But for some crazy reason, about a week ago, I admitted I was powerless over Tramadol and I conceeded that my life and my constant cyles of failures had become (for me) unmanageable. And after visiting this site several times (and at first thinking you were all a bunch of pollyannas), I came to see your small successes as a sort of power greater than myself. It hasn't been easy and it hasn't been fun, but WITH YOUR HELP and example, I am determined to beat this terribly, addictive, largely unregulated, over-prescribed, seldom understood, terrifying to quit drug that has been part of my life for over six years. 7 - 2,190 isn't a pretty record, but guess what? I am determined that tomorrow that win loss record will read:
FINALLY FRED 8, TEAM TRAMADOL 2,190. And that my friends, is worth living another day to see.
emergee asked me tonight how much "time" I had. What I SHOULD have told "e" is "not enough" or maybe "just barely a glimpsing, grasping, I'm trying anything now" response. Technically, it's still the evening of my second day of going cold turkey. And I must say, the five days before I stopped entirely,those days when i tapered from 8+/day to 1-2 pills/day hurt worse than the last two of COLD TURKEY. I am about as patient as I am addictable. (is that a word?) The wierd thing is that I have those sweet little white pills in my "drawer" right now and while the physical symptoms are still kicking my ars, I can chose to not take the,m. And it's actually already becoming less awful.
Kicking this evil addictive drug has become all consuming to me, just as making certain that I had a righteous supply of my DOC (drug of choice) had become all consuming these past six years. My wife sees me at this computer for hours on end and I don't think she "get's my obsession with getting off this T. Then in the evening after she goes to bed, I read and reread the postings you have made previously again. You all have become as a "higher power' to me. Mercifully, I planned my withdrawal to coincide with a week off work, so this is my "tramadol vacation", you see!
And why not have a little levity on a subject that is otherwise, so dreadfully serious. It's no big deal...it's just a matter of life or death.
I had to chuckle upon reading a post from last week by someone which read, "I've been up until 5 in the morning every night because of the restless legs symptoms, but other than that I feel fantastic!" Other than "that', Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play? But sadly, I DO know EXACTLY what that person was going through.
I want to address what I think may be a misconception of some first time guests to this site, and frankly, a feeling that I had when I first visted you all. To wit, how can these people make postings of success, when there must surely be more people like myself, who feel so defeated over this addiction?
Fair enough.
As Emily once noted, the people who log on (like me seven days ago), who are genuinely looking for help, but who are finding it impossible to take that first step, sadly don't post. I know I visited here more than once without posting and I thought you were all hypocrites or do gooders or liars at first glance. But as I ventured back to this site again and again, is search of a hope to take a first step, what I found was a bunch of sick puppies - just like myself. We are seeking to do battle with this terrible subtile, sneaky how it get's you, DENIAL wrought disease. You all just happened to be a day or a week, or a month or six months ahead of me in the fight. And hopefully, our postings will give the strength for other poor puppies like myself, to do battle with this drug once and for all.
The notion that my first TINY steps toward recovery could be something I am proud of, is laughable. Are there any sports fans out there?
Hello Sports fans, welcome to the big show. Tonight we find FRED, once again waging battle against TEAM TRAMADOL. The two have matched up previously TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND NINTY SEVEN TIMES. And the score leading into tonights contest stands at: ...TEAM TRAMADOL 2,190. and TEAM FRED 7.
I have seen some sports franchises with some terrible win/loss records. The Washinton Huskies, for example, here in Seattle, this year are a dismal 0-11 this season. Go Dawgs! :( But I can't recall EVER recall seeing a team with a win/loss record as dismal as my own. 7 wins and 2,190. losses.
Yup, that's how proud I am of myself. I have succeeded EXACTLY seven times in the past 2,197 days in my fight with this terrible drug. WHOPPY!!! So please don't anyone reading this think I have overcome anything. I just got tired of being dependant on something more powerful than myself. Tired of waking up each day, telling myself that THAT day would be different FROM ALL THAT HAD BEEN BEFORE, only to require more and more tramadol to achieve what I felt was a "necessary" pain free existance i REQUIRED in order to lead a productive work and home life. So i get that, "I can't afford to go off tramadol" reasoning. I said that 2,190/2,197 days in the past myself.
Heck, after dinner, I had so much energy on T and I felt so good that I would be known to go outside in the dark and plant bulbs in the garden. Or I would log on to my work computer in the evening and work productively until the wee hours of the morning. I HAD TRAMADOL POWER. So make no mistake, the drug made us feel very very good. That is, until we required more and more of it to work it's magic...until it turned on me and actually caused pains in places I didn't even know could hurt. Here's the really crazy thing. As I am coming off this, my hips (original complaint six years ago) don't even hurt any more.
So we come to the point where we are trapped rats. Trapped by a doctor who doesn't fully understand that the same amount of this drug will not continue to produce the well being that it did in the beginning. HINT: M.D.s won't typically prescribe more than 400 mg/day. if I had really gone to "non traditional" online methods of attaining this drug, I am unsure what might have happened to me. I would probably stil bne spending lots of $$$ on way too many pills/day just to feel "NOT unwell".
It's odd that I was never able to apply what I know from other 12 step programs to beat this disease. Once again, I didn't have a problem, OK? These were harmless, non-opiate and SUCH pretty SMALL white pills, harmless by the hand full, it seemed. I am certain that i have been in denial and have comparmentalized this addiction for a long time.
Question: How many of us shared with our siblings, cousins, parents, or even children that we tatke T? I for one did not.
So where are we at? We have denial and we have guilt and we have hiding behavior. This isn't sounding too alright to me by this point. Houston, we have a problem.
I don't know why anyone else stopped, but for me, it came down to this, did I want to constantly face withdrawal symptoms EVERY month at the end of my "allottment", when I had consumed well more than my daily dosage on the front end of a "cycle", so that I was sweating, aching, tingling everywhere ONE WEEK out of every month, or did I want to make my best effort to do WAR this time and be done with this?
You all have provided such loving advice for someone like me. Today I picked up and am using some Hylands Restful Legs, B-12 and Imodium AB. Thanks to all for the advice, it does help.
In closing, I have a pretty darned dismal record of defeating TEAM TRAMADOL. It isn't pretty where I sit. The score the past 2,197 days stands at 7 days of wins and 2,190 days of losses. Certainly nothing to be proud of.
But for some crazy reason, about a week ago, I admitted I was powerless over Tramadol and I conceeded that my life and my constant cyles of failures had become (for me) unmanageable. And after visiting this site several times (and at first thinking you were all a bunch of pollyannas), I came to see your small successes as a sort of power greater than myself. It hasn't been easy and it hasn't been fun, but WITH YOUR HELP and example, I am determined to beat this terribly, addictive, largely unregulated, over-prescribed, seldom understood, terrifying to quit drug that has been part of my life for over six years. 7 - 2,190 isn't a pretty record, but guess what? I am determined that tomorrow that win loss record will read:
FINALLY FRED 8, TEAM TRAMADOL 2,190. And that my friends, is worth living another day to see.
Finally Fred ... I so heart U! :D
I told my husband and my Momther (who no doubt told the rest of my Family) ... I did not tell anyone where I work.
I'm smiling about your first perception of us as do-gooders, liars ect ... One message in the very beginning was a message that accused me of being the same person, writing posts back and forth to myself! !!!!! This was in early early withdrawal from me and the thought that I would be able to do such a thing was both amusing and confusing and made me mad, but was hilarious.
I LOVE a good rant. As you can probably tell!
I think it is important for me to post when I can not to rub my "non-tramadol-ness" in people's face, but hopefully to give them an idea that it really can be done. It's very easy when you are hooked, lined and sinkered on Tramadol to dismiss this entire really long ranty journal. Excpet for the fact that it is true. You can read teh desperation and fear and you can also read the triumph and fight of the human spirit against an enemy aka Tramadol; the life sucker demon pill. Truth gets under the skin.
But hopefully, it gets under the skin. Because there's no one stopping people from taking this drug. It's really the candy of chronic pain.
How do I know that the MD's know Tramadol is a bad drug? There's many studies mixed in the journal. These were studies I could find as a layman. They have access to much more information, so of which is posted. The fact that I could discover it was causing neuropathy in cases where the person used the Tramadol for over a year, is scary and ultimately ridiculously wrong.
The thing is no MD can get into any trouble for handing out Tramadol in case of persistent pain. But they can for opiates, muscle relaxants and so on. You do not need to search far to find cases of MD's who are having the DEA invade their clinics because they are accused of over prescribing pain medications (most of which work and most of which are less horrifying to quit than Tramadol.) ... I do not blame them for not wanting to risk taking on long term pain patients. BUT in my case; Tramadol increased and even CAUSED my pain.
It's a viscous circle.
But we can all help each other!!
Love and healing,
Emily
I told my husband and my Momther (who no doubt told the rest of my Family) ... I did not tell anyone where I work.
I'm smiling about your first perception of us as do-gooders, liars ect ... One message in the very beginning was a message that accused me of being the same person, writing posts back and forth to myself! !!!!! This was in early early withdrawal from me and the thought that I would be able to do such a thing was both amusing and confusing and made me mad, but was hilarious.
I LOVE a good rant. As you can probably tell!
I think it is important for me to post when I can not to rub my "non-tramadol-ness" in people's face, but hopefully to give them an idea that it really can be done. It's very easy when you are hooked, lined and sinkered on Tramadol to dismiss this entire really long ranty journal. Excpet for the fact that it is true. You can read teh desperation and fear and you can also read the triumph and fight of the human spirit against an enemy aka Tramadol; the life sucker demon pill. Truth gets under the skin.
But hopefully, it gets under the skin. Because there's no one stopping people from taking this drug. It's really the candy of chronic pain.
How do I know that the MD's know Tramadol is a bad drug? There's many studies mixed in the journal. These were studies I could find as a layman. They have access to much more information, so of which is posted. The fact that I could discover it was causing neuropathy in cases where the person used the Tramadol for over a year, is scary and ultimately ridiculously wrong.
The thing is no MD can get into any trouble for handing out Tramadol in case of persistent pain. But they can for opiates, muscle relaxants and so on. You do not need to search far to find cases of MD's who are having the DEA invade their clinics because they are accused of over prescribing pain medications (most of which work and most of which are less horrifying to quit than Tramadol.) ... I do not blame them for not wanting to risk taking on long term pain patients. BUT in my case; Tramadol increased and even CAUSED my pain.
It's a viscous circle.
But we can all help each other!!
Love and healing,
Emily
Hello All,
I am currently planning my "tramadol vacation" as Fred so wittingly put, and trying to stock up on things I am going to need to get off this drug while not feeling completely horrible. From what I have read, some things that help and that I have ordered are Clonidine, Kratom Powder, Hylands Resftul Legs, and Immodium. I also have Wellbutrin which is an anti-depressant which I hope will ease some of the withdrawel symptoms. I also have a supply of Hydrocodone just in case it gets really bad. My concern is this: When I stop taking tramadol and start the withdrawal process, then start covering it up with other drugs to feel better, will it all come back when I try to get off the cover-up drugs? I don't anticipate getting addicted to Clonodine, Kratom, or Hydrocodone after using them for only a week or so, but I really don't know. I don't want to have a week of hell, covered up sporadically by other drugs, and then when I stop the other drugs I don't want to have another week of hell without the cover up drugs. Does anyone have experience with this? Did anyone else try to cover up the symptoms with any other drugs? I just want to make sure it is not a huge mistake, but I can't afford to feel horrible for 7 days or more, I just can't, so I am trying to think of my contingency plan in case it gets really bad.
I am back to feeling normal again after 2 days of hell from my attempt at a taper. I had to stop the taper because I can't be like that at work. At this moment I have the "theraputic" feeling Tramadol gives me, and it is great, but I don't need it. I can't even remember how it feels to not be on it, if I felt better or worse. I find myself looking at others who I assume aren't on Tramadol and thinking, "they sure look happy and at ease with life, they are so lucky to not have this horrible addiction." I remember that I actually liked to do things before - golf, play tennis, excercise, none of which I do anymore. I can't even imagine having that energy and desire to do those things again, I just want to lay down and relax all the time.
Ok, I will stop with my rambling, you are all right, it does help a ton to do this, and to read other's experiences. I am interested in your story Fred because you were similar to my dosages (even though I have been on it for only a year) and you will probably just be finishing the process when I am beginning it on Dec. 23. Please don't apologize for posting, it is helpful, especially for me because I will be doing it very soon. Keep posting every day if you can, describing what it feels like, what helps, and what to plan on. Especially when you go back to work next week, I want to know how you perform without it, etc.
Thanks everyone for their support,
Matt
I am currently planning my "tramadol vacation" as Fred so wittingly put, and trying to stock up on things I am going to need to get off this drug while not feeling completely horrible. From what I have read, some things that help and that I have ordered are Clonidine, Kratom Powder, Hylands Resftul Legs, and Immodium. I also have Wellbutrin which is an anti-depressant which I hope will ease some of the withdrawel symptoms. I also have a supply of Hydrocodone just in case it gets really bad. My concern is this: When I stop taking tramadol and start the withdrawal process, then start covering it up with other drugs to feel better, will it all come back when I try to get off the cover-up drugs? I don't anticipate getting addicted to Clonodine, Kratom, or Hydrocodone after using them for only a week or so, but I really don't know. I don't want to have a week of hell, covered up sporadically by other drugs, and then when I stop the other drugs I don't want to have another week of hell without the cover up drugs. Does anyone have experience with this? Did anyone else try to cover up the symptoms with any other drugs? I just want to make sure it is not a huge mistake, but I can't afford to feel horrible for 7 days or more, I just can't, so I am trying to think of my contingency plan in case it gets really bad.
I am back to feeling normal again after 2 days of hell from my attempt at a taper. I had to stop the taper because I can't be like that at work. At this moment I have the "theraputic" feeling Tramadol gives me, and it is great, but I don't need it. I can't even remember how it feels to not be on it, if I felt better or worse. I find myself looking at others who I assume aren't on Tramadol and thinking, "they sure look happy and at ease with life, they are so lucky to not have this horrible addiction." I remember that I actually liked to do things before - golf, play tennis, excercise, none of which I do anymore. I can't even imagine having that energy and desire to do those things again, I just want to lay down and relax all the time.
Ok, I will stop with my rambling, you are all right, it does help a ton to do this, and to read other's experiences. I am interested in your story Fred because you were similar to my dosages (even though I have been on it for only a year) and you will probably just be finishing the process when I am beginning it on Dec. 23. Please don't apologize for posting, it is helpful, especially for me because I will be doing it very soon. Keep posting every day if you can, describing what it feels like, what helps, and what to plan on. Especially when you go back to work next week, I want to know how you perform without it, etc.
Thanks everyone for their support,
Matt
Indeed, it's a new dawn. And the score, tadah, FINALLY FRED 8, TEAM TRADADOL, still ONLY at 2,190. A sadly unproud pathetic win loss record, but I seek progress not perfection. I am more determined today to beat this than when I began 8 days ago with my fake "tapering" I hve talked about. I call it my "fake" tapering, because, while it was in fact a tapering, it was mercilessly WAY DRASTIC. In fact, the drastic taper I began 8 days ago, was far more painful than what I have experienced in my now 3 days of cold turkey stoppage of this bad boy more recently. Which leads me to conclude that the pain of withdrawal has more to do with the NET quantum of one's reduction, than it does with whether you have any of this bad boy left in your system or not.
Matt, You have a great attitude and desire to quit. Stay focused on the prize. I admire your preperation for the planned "work stoppage" later this month on 12/23. ha ha ha. I for one, see nothing wrong with anyone else giving their decison the utmost thought before launching a full frontal attack on this beast. I see nothing wrong with doing WHAT EVER IT TAKES to kick this, whatever it takes for YOU IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
I was thinking of you Matt, when I read in a post somewhere back a ways, that they didn't mind actually FEELING like S**t during withdrawal BECAUSE that pain was a constant reminder of the distance they WERE putting between them and tramadol. I am not sure there IS an EASY way out of this problem. IF THERE WAS an easy way, I'd be first in line, I'll tell you what.
My mother in law has a saying that I generally have felt to be bogus and meaningless, and trite. But it just might apply to our battle here. That saying is this, "some times the easy way is the hard way and the hard way is the easy way.". I can't tell you how many times I have LOL after hearing my mother in law spout such nonense. But she just may have a point which is germaine to our fight 4 kicking this nasty drug.
The agony is lessening for me, my friend, agonizing moment by agonizing moment, it is getting better. I am using all the remideis everyone has posted and they do help. I am emensely grateful to all who have posted. And I continue to read and re-read all I can get my eyeballs on. Today, the way seems brighter than it did yesterday. I know that you know what must be done. Whenever that might happen for you. I am NOT so sure you will be a good house guest this year Matt. Maybe THIS YEAR they don't expect you to be marvelously funny, and charming and HELPFUL. Maybe this year, they would recognize that your primary goal for the week long visit is to detox? Maybe this year, you will need to decide whether it is more important to be the charming son in law that I am sure you are, or whether the week in time must be used for a higher purpose.
There isn't a pretty way to candy coat this. Withdrawal will be hell. You will be disruptive all night long as you the lovely BK mom in law prepares. They will worry and wonder about you. You'll be curled up on a couch in agony and you will run to and fro to the bathroom. Sadly, i just am unsure there is any easier way to do this and quite possibly, no higher calling for the use of your time away from work. If someone has a better answer, please let me know and i will be all over it.
None of us is an expert here. I can only share my own experience, strength and hope.
Now you bring up a very valid question, just how will I do when i return to work on Monday? The fact is, I am scared to death about finding out. My guess is that if my job were folding seweaters at Macy's, I might fair better than in my own job, which seems to require concentration, focus, decision making abilities. All things that will no doubt be more difficult without the wonderful aid of tramadol. I know I am not out of the woods here. And that scares me quite a bit. Still, I must take hope in putting another moment, just now, between my addiction and being able to do the next right thing.
I am about to test out how this boy might actually function doing something besides reading and crying and blogging, and BEING. I told my mom I would help her do some "sonny do" chores around her house today. And while I am on vacation this week, I actually do have work to do on some files before I REALLY go back to work next Monday for real. I'll keep posting.
Read my story about Ivan in my journal entry today.
COURAGE and strength my friends.
Matt, You have a great attitude and desire to quit. Stay focused on the prize. I admire your preperation for the planned "work stoppage" later this month on 12/23. ha ha ha. I for one, see nothing wrong with anyone else giving their decison the utmost thought before launching a full frontal attack on this beast. I see nothing wrong with doing WHAT EVER IT TAKES to kick this, whatever it takes for YOU IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
I was thinking of you Matt, when I read in a post somewhere back a ways, that they didn't mind actually FEELING like S**t during withdrawal BECAUSE that pain was a constant reminder of the distance they WERE putting between them and tramadol. I am not sure there IS an EASY way out of this problem. IF THERE WAS an easy way, I'd be first in line, I'll tell you what.
My mother in law has a saying that I generally have felt to be bogus and meaningless, and trite. But it just might apply to our battle here. That saying is this, "some times the easy way is the hard way and the hard way is the easy way.". I can't tell you how many times I have LOL after hearing my mother in law spout such nonense. But she just may have a point which is germaine to our fight 4 kicking this nasty drug.
The agony is lessening for me, my friend, agonizing moment by agonizing moment, it is getting better. I am using all the remideis everyone has posted and they do help. I am emensely grateful to all who have posted. And I continue to read and re-read all I can get my eyeballs on. Today, the way seems brighter than it did yesterday. I know that you know what must be done. Whenever that might happen for you. I am NOT so sure you will be a good house guest this year Matt. Maybe THIS YEAR they don't expect you to be marvelously funny, and charming and HELPFUL. Maybe this year, they would recognize that your primary goal for the week long visit is to detox? Maybe this year, you will need to decide whether it is more important to be the charming son in law that I am sure you are, or whether the week in time must be used for a higher purpose.
There isn't a pretty way to candy coat this. Withdrawal will be hell. You will be disruptive all night long as you the lovely BK mom in law prepares. They will worry and wonder about you. You'll be curled up on a couch in agony and you will run to and fro to the bathroom. Sadly, i just am unsure there is any easier way to do this and quite possibly, no higher calling for the use of your time away from work. If someone has a better answer, please let me know and i will be all over it.
None of us is an expert here. I can only share my own experience, strength and hope.
Now you bring up a very valid question, just how will I do when i return to work on Monday? The fact is, I am scared to death about finding out. My guess is that if my job were folding seweaters at Macy's, I might fair better than in my own job, which seems to require concentration, focus, decision making abilities. All things that will no doubt be more difficult without the wonderful aid of tramadol. I know I am not out of the woods here. And that scares me quite a bit. Still, I must take hope in putting another moment, just now, between my addiction and being able to do the next right thing.
I am about to test out how this boy might actually function doing something besides reading and crying and blogging, and BEING. I told my mom I would help her do some "sonny do" chores around her house today. And while I am on vacation this week, I actually do have work to do on some files before I REALLY go back to work next Monday for real. I'll keep posting.
Read my story about Ivan in my journal entry today.
COURAGE and strength my friends.
fred, matt, emily and all,
I am so relieved that others are keeping this place alive. i had actually had the ridiculous notion that i was done. i was okay enough to resume life and i didn't need to be glued to the computer reading this thread every second. this is day 8. i thought this morning that i wasn't suffering. ha. when i try to function then it hits. weird, just weird. i can't even describe it and i don't know if the strange non-functioning of the brain then makes me anxious or whether the psychological aspects of the drug are now hitting me. i just read an old post of emily's that i hadn't seen before ( my apple computer is down and i am back on this dinosaur thing i had- but the good thing about that is that somehow it found all sorts of old T posts that i had never seen) and she said something like , " i feel frightened and alone". exactly. I AM SCARED. and she(you) have a nice husband! i haven't seen anyone but strangers in the street for 8 days. i think i am going to have to cancel a social thing for saturday ( 2 days from now) because what if i feel like this that day? i could not function in public. the apple computer tech help guy is supposed to call and i am anxious about that! is this like a withdrawal thing? is this a seratonin thing?
here are some quotes i pulled off:
Once the fog rolls in, my mind and body begins to move with all the speed and grace of a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
oh well, the other ones didn't make it. one was from scott fitzgerald , so good. i'll find it and post later.
thank GOD this forum is here. thank god for you fred for doing long and rambling posts , i love it.
emergee
.
I am so relieved that others are keeping this place alive. i had actually had the ridiculous notion that i was done. i was okay enough to resume life and i didn't need to be glued to the computer reading this thread every second. this is day 8. i thought this morning that i wasn't suffering. ha. when i try to function then it hits. weird, just weird. i can't even describe it and i don't know if the strange non-functioning of the brain then makes me anxious or whether the psychological aspects of the drug are now hitting me. i just read an old post of emily's that i hadn't seen before ( my apple computer is down and i am back on this dinosaur thing i had- but the good thing about that is that somehow it found all sorts of old T posts that i had never seen) and she said something like , " i feel frightened and alone". exactly. I AM SCARED. and she(you) have a nice husband! i haven't seen anyone but strangers in the street for 8 days. i think i am going to have to cancel a social thing for saturday ( 2 days from now) because what if i feel like this that day? i could not function in public. the apple computer tech help guy is supposed to call and i am anxious about that! is this like a withdrawal thing? is this a seratonin thing?
here are some quotes i pulled off:
Once the fog rolls in, my mind and body begins to move with all the speed and grace of a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
oh well, the other ones didn't make it. one was from scott fitzgerald , so good. i'll find it and post later.
thank GOD this forum is here. thank god for you fred for doing long and rambling posts , i love it.
emergee
.
"I feel so alive.. ..Speaking with my adult children WOW I will never trade what I hear in their voice today compared to what I heard while on drugs.. Tears fill my eyes as I write for the appreciation I feel that they loved me enough to remember who I was before this last round with drugs.. My husband is having a little harder of a time as I'm not so easy to comply as I was on drugs with money and opinions :) Although I know he is happier having a partner back who cares enough to argue the point.. The love I feel inside is overwhelming drugs have never bought tears to my eyes of happiness... "
this is a quote i pulled off an old thread. i am sorry i don't have her name .i think it is an amazing statement of what is possible and also what a weird thing we did to ourselves taking this drug.
" in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning" f. scott fitzgerald
i had read this before, but when i read it on emilypost at 4 in the morning, i really understood it. and it was hilarious.
this is a quote i pulled off an old thread. i am sorry i don't have her name .i think it is an amazing statement of what is possible and also what a weird thing we did to ourselves taking this drug.
" in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning" f. scott fitzgerald
i had read this before, but when i read it on emilypost at 4 in the morning, i really understood it. and it was hilarious.
Dear Emily & fellow fighters of the good fight, I wanted to post this update just in case anyone else has this experience & it's also turned out to be a good news story. Firstly tho, Em, I want to add my appreciation of your true talent for expression. You have a future as a writer, should you so desire. Your idea of "organic change" really summed it up for me & I believe is also biologically true for many of us long term tram users.
Just a short digression on the "how long" question. Everyone's biochemistry is unique & I don't want to minimise the withdrawal experience of anyone with shorter periods of use. However, the longer the drug is used, the deeper the altered brain circuits are rewired. Thankfully, the brain is plastic & new circuits will replace the drug powered old ones but you have to allow enough time for these changes to become locked in.
It is now more than four months since my last pill, after fiveish years of daily tramadol intake. I had a fairly standard withdrawal for the first six weeks or so, then got dealt what felt like a knock-out blow - sudden, bed-ridden chronic fatigue complete with all the symptoms of extremely low blood pressure, (couldn't stand without fainting, when I had never fainted in my life before); extremely disrupted sleep; couldn't walk to the end of the drive when a month ago, I ran 10kms daily.
The diagnosis of several doctors was post-viral fatigue, (it's true that I while I was on the tramadol I had a bad virus & was still showing viral antibodies). However, I am more inclined to blame the tramadol. One of the tests they administer for chronic fatigue is a sleep test where they measure your sleep waves. To be healthy, you need to have enough delta wave sleep which is when all the good healing & cell maintenance takes place. People with CF, (as did I for this period), have minimal or disrupted delta wave sleep & feature alpha waves instead. Alpha waves are present in relaxed states; day dreaming listening to music etc & have a positive role in wellbeing but are not enough on their own.
Studies have shown that completely healthy people will develop full blown chronic fatigue symptoms if their sleep is disrupted to remove delta wave sleep. The point being that for some of us, the sleep disruption caused by tramadol withdrawal will cause the extreme fatigue symptoms & in my case turned into a syndrome.
Now the good news, one night I went to bed & fell asleep within half an hour instead of six hours to never. Since then I have been sleeping close to normally & no surprise getting my life back. I am still so grateful for this every day & I am going to work at retaining this gratitude as it's so easy to just reset your expectations back to pre-illness levels when in the depths, I would have been so happy to have a few functional hours a day. I have so much sympathy for people with long term CF; it tested my sanity to the absolute max.
Hopefully, no-one else will have this experience but for those in the "wiped out" phase, know that it will end, even if not to your preferred schedule & when it does, don't forget to celebrate every tiny weeny achievement for a bit.
Best to all,
Michelle
Just a short digression on the "how long" question. Everyone's biochemistry is unique & I don't want to minimise the withdrawal experience of anyone with shorter periods of use. However, the longer the drug is used, the deeper the altered brain circuits are rewired. Thankfully, the brain is plastic & new circuits will replace the drug powered old ones but you have to allow enough time for these changes to become locked in.
It is now more than four months since my last pill, after fiveish years of daily tramadol intake. I had a fairly standard withdrawal for the first six weeks or so, then got dealt what felt like a knock-out blow - sudden, bed-ridden chronic fatigue complete with all the symptoms of extremely low blood pressure, (couldn't stand without fainting, when I had never fainted in my life before); extremely disrupted sleep; couldn't walk to the end of the drive when a month ago, I ran 10kms daily.
The diagnosis of several doctors was post-viral fatigue, (it's true that I while I was on the tramadol I had a bad virus & was still showing viral antibodies). However, I am more inclined to blame the tramadol. One of the tests they administer for chronic fatigue is a sleep test where they measure your sleep waves. To be healthy, you need to have enough delta wave sleep which is when all the good healing & cell maintenance takes place. People with CF, (as did I for this period), have minimal or disrupted delta wave sleep & feature alpha waves instead. Alpha waves are present in relaxed states; day dreaming listening to music etc & have a positive role in wellbeing but are not enough on their own.
Studies have shown that completely healthy people will develop full blown chronic fatigue symptoms if their sleep is disrupted to remove delta wave sleep. The point being that for some of us, the sleep disruption caused by tramadol withdrawal will cause the extreme fatigue symptoms & in my case turned into a syndrome.
Now the good news, one night I went to bed & fell asleep within half an hour instead of six hours to never. Since then I have been sleeping close to normally & no surprise getting my life back. I am still so grateful for this every day & I am going to work at retaining this gratitude as it's so easy to just reset your expectations back to pre-illness levels when in the depths, I would have been so happy to have a few functional hours a day. I have so much sympathy for people with long term CF; it tested my sanity to the absolute max.
Hopefully, no-one else will have this experience but for those in the "wiped out" phase, know that it will end, even if not to your preferred schedule & when it does, don't forget to celebrate every tiny weeny achievement for a bit.
Best to all,
Michelle
Madtram.. I have had CFS, fibromyalgia and a couple of autoimmune diseases for many many years. The Tramal was prescribed for the fibromyalgia, which was getting way out of control. So the sleeplessness that comes with the withdrawal just really exacerbates the withdrawal, which is why I choose the slow taper option.
The sleeplessness is really difficult, isn't it? I am finding that, on Tramal, I was developing a real self-loathing.. it was quite dreadful and felt very very real. Now I am down to under 5 daily, I can feel myself rise up and be OK about myself - not just OK, but a sense of my inherent talents and ability.. SUCH a breakthrough! But the d**n sleeplessness - that is the tricky one.
I'm taking whatever I can get my hands on to sleep, now - I am very unused to such things so it doesn't take much - 1/4 valium knocks me for ages. I was being very precious with the 'no drugs' thing, but the Tramal issue is the one I am going to beat, whatever it takes.
Despite the pain, the agitation (mine is not so much restless legs as restless upper-body with heart palpatations and mini panic attacks), it feels very very very good to feel the old me... probably even a better me for the strength and will we all gain from this process.
Thank you for all your insights... they are blessings.
Sue
The sleeplessness is really difficult, isn't it? I am finding that, on Tramal, I was developing a real self-loathing.. it was quite dreadful and felt very very real. Now I am down to under 5 daily, I can feel myself rise up and be OK about myself - not just OK, but a sense of my inherent talents and ability.. SUCH a breakthrough! But the d**n sleeplessness - that is the tricky one.
I'm taking whatever I can get my hands on to sleep, now - I am very unused to such things so it doesn't take much - 1/4 valium knocks me for ages. I was being very precious with the 'no drugs' thing, but the Tramal issue is the one I am going to beat, whatever it takes.
Despite the pain, the agitation (mine is not so much restless legs as restless upper-body with heart palpatations and mini panic attacks), it feels very very very good to feel the old me... probably even a better me for the strength and will we all gain from this process.
Thank you for all your insights... they are blessings.
Sue
michele,
that was very very helpful. thank you.
emergee
that was very very helpful. thank you.
emergee
Whoops... I said I was down to 5 daily, which is really wrong... I am down to under 50mg daily - today 25mg. I know it isn't much, but it feels quite huge to me!
In the BEGINNING:
emergee, madtram, Organica and you all, Your words tonight breathed encouragement into me. I hang on them and it matters. Michelle, special thanks to you for the encouragement to celebrate the teeny weeny victories. It's too easy to look ahead.
This morning marks the beginning of my 4th day without any tramadol. I have come to believe that it is the change of quantum (amount we ingest) in tramadol that gives us the withdrawal symptoms and not entirely whether we are zeroed out yet or not. I know I felt far worse going from 8-10 pills a day down to 1-2 pills a day (my grand idea of a tapered plan!) THAN i ever felt going from 1-2 pills/day to ZERO a few days ago. Imagine if i had tapered properly.
Congratulations to you, Organica, you are doing it right. By the time you take your last pill WHENEVER THAT IS, you will already have been through the wost of it I think. I wish I had that kind of patience, but I know I don't. And don't let my wild and crazy ways of kicking this thing pull anyone else from another more well reasoned plan of attack.
And my hat is off to guys like you, Matt, who know what they need to do and are planning a course to do it. Be strong and of courage.
I thought I was the only person on the planet with such a problem with this freely dispensed non-scheduled RX. You guys showed me that I was not alone you each inspire and educate me in ways you'll never know. And dear Emily, thank you for leading us to you so we could find help for this terrible nasty addiction to the pills we thought were non-narcotic candy pain pills. For just as in the story of Hansil and Gretill, you spread the bread crums on the internet machine so we would know where we could find you. SERIOUS SOB SOB FROM THIS GUY.
So keep sharing YOUR experience strength and hope. Maybe one day, I will help someone else, as you have helped me. You are all the angles of mercy to me.
Shifting gears, I was feeling pretty grogged out yesterday evening about six hours ago or so, I had a fairly active afternoon yesterday trying my hand at some light yard work and running some errands. After supper, I felt like my butt was falling off. Extreme chills, fevers, and achy flu like symptoms - suprised me actually because I slept WELL last night and felt good this a.m. Glad I had been warned that this isn't necessarily a linear progression recovery plan we signed up for.
I took a long HOT bath, some B-12, Immodium AB and some NSAIDS I had laying around and I am actually feeling well again now after reading some posts and seeing a little time elapse. Emily said it would work this way sometimes and thank goodness for people who stick around so the rest of us newcomers have an example. Emily, you will forever be my angel for showing me a way out of this dreadful addiction. Lesser humans than you would recover, take the check and go on to the next new thing in life. Thanks for hanging for those of us who follow. And like I said yesterday, thank you for knowing how to wire all those tubes in the computer machine and for knowing how to lead us to you. Cause just like in the story of Hansil and Gretill, you spread bread crums in the Internet machine so we would know where to find you.
Promise now not to breathe a word about all my HOT baths of late, or people will think I have turned into a girleee man with my bathes that are hot, the covering up in the blankets, and the packing of the body with ice and the heat. Humpth, I say whatever works.
Iv'e also been thinking tonight about the difference between (1) facing uncertain withdrawal symptoms in the future, vs. (2) "relapsing", which I mean putting tramadol into our bodies again . I think I worry more about (1), the ongoing uncertain withdrawal symptoms that will be coming my way than I do about relapsing or ever using again. Here's why that is so for me:
I am no big strong tramadol giant killer. I get that recovery is fragile. Yet, I know what I have gone through to get me to this place, right here tonight. It's not easy and it isn't fun. But having fought through a few little days without tramadol I WOULD NEED TO HAVE MY FREAKIN HEAD EXAMINED to permit myself to repeat what I have gone through these past few days EVER again. So even in the HEAT of my withdrawal, I feel so much better than I did the last several years on the tramadol train.
Nope, for too long, we have been controlled by a drug that takes more and more from us while giving us less and less in return. It isn't a matter of IF we would eventually stop one day, but rather, HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST before we would stop. And DEATH clears the boards baby. In that moment, all choice in the matter is gone. This was a haunting thought I had many times in the past - that i would/could never get off the trramadol train, until death do us part.
If I am arrogent, I am arrogent ONLY in thinking that I sorta would kinda like to control the HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST part of this tramadol experience on MY terms. There are lots of good reasons for kicking this drug, but one of them has GOT to be to regain some control in one's life.
So if you asked me right now whether I will relapse and willingly put tramadol back into my body ever again, I'd say, "Holy Mother of God, I sure hope not". It took me too long to begin. And for this addict, beginning is what was difficult to bring myself to grips with.
I suspect that there may be a certain "esteem" in achieving a given # of recovery days. However, I'll bet if we were to ask folks with far more "recovery" than my measly pesky piddily few little days of QUIT time, which day they felt the most IMPORTANT DAY was, I'll bet you WOULDN'T hear the 3rd day or the 11th day or the 35th day or the 125th day or EVEN the five year mark being offered up as the most important. Nope, I am pretty sure that if we asked the TRAMAMASTERS, most would agree that the first day of recovery was the most IMPORTANT day in their own recovery. It is after all, the day that we all put off and avoided - it seemed like forever in my case.
Here's what else I have been thinking about tonight... while I would like to THINK that I won't relaspe and take this evil pill again, IT COULD HAPPEN. And while I may have another relapse left in me (which I am defining as putting tramadol back into my body again) the really scarry thing is that I REALLY am not sure that I will have another FIRST DAY OF RECOVERY LEFT IN ME if I relapsed again now. THINK ABOUT IT!
I must be the biggest cry baby on the face of the planet. Cus, ever since I typed the above line, I have been crying uncontrollably like a baby. I am so grateful that MERCIFULLY, I was given a chance...at a first day. The planets must have lined up perfectly for any of us to have been willing to come to the place, where we take that first baby step...to determine the time and place and cost of our taper or quit, to start the first day in a life without tramadol.
WHAT SORT OF MIRACLE IS IT, WHERE someone like me, could go thousands of days on tramadol and continuously choose the drug, feel uterly defeated and then SUDDENLY one day realize that they have a choice? HOW COOL WAS THAT? How could I have gone from feeling UTTERLY helpless and out of control, to believing that I might actually have a chance to kick? I'll tell you what, when that fleeting moment of clarity came into my pea brain and I realized that i didn't have to live like that another day on the tramadol roller coaster, I jumped. (thus my "fake taper") So I am crying like a baby tonight because unmerited favor and grace was bestowed on me, such that I really GOT that moment of clarity. I'm crying at the realization that the choice for HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST I stop taking this terrible drug, has been placed into my hands to decide, one moment by one moment with the help of a higher power, which right now I am choosing to call YOU GUYS. Pretty flipping miraculous I'd say. Pretty flipping MIRACULOUS. Cry your heart out GREAT flippin miraculous.
Stay close.
Courage and strength and compassion
Fred
emergee, madtram, Organica and you all, Your words tonight breathed encouragement into me. I hang on them and it matters. Michelle, special thanks to you for the encouragement to celebrate the teeny weeny victories. It's too easy to look ahead.
This morning marks the beginning of my 4th day without any tramadol. I have come to believe that it is the change of quantum (amount we ingest) in tramadol that gives us the withdrawal symptoms and not entirely whether we are zeroed out yet or not. I know I felt far worse going from 8-10 pills a day down to 1-2 pills a day (my grand idea of a tapered plan!) THAN i ever felt going from 1-2 pills/day to ZERO a few days ago. Imagine if i had tapered properly.
Congratulations to you, Organica, you are doing it right. By the time you take your last pill WHENEVER THAT IS, you will already have been through the wost of it I think. I wish I had that kind of patience, but I know I don't. And don't let my wild and crazy ways of kicking this thing pull anyone else from another more well reasoned plan of attack.
And my hat is off to guys like you, Matt, who know what they need to do and are planning a course to do it. Be strong and of courage.
I thought I was the only person on the planet with such a problem with this freely dispensed non-scheduled RX. You guys showed me that I was not alone you each inspire and educate me in ways you'll never know. And dear Emily, thank you for leading us to you so we could find help for this terrible nasty addiction to the pills we thought were non-narcotic candy pain pills. For just as in the story of Hansil and Gretill, you spread the bread crums on the internet machine so we would know where we could find you. SERIOUS SOB SOB FROM THIS GUY.
So keep sharing YOUR experience strength and hope. Maybe one day, I will help someone else, as you have helped me. You are all the angles of mercy to me.
Shifting gears, I was feeling pretty grogged out yesterday evening about six hours ago or so, I had a fairly active afternoon yesterday trying my hand at some light yard work and running some errands. After supper, I felt like my butt was falling off. Extreme chills, fevers, and achy flu like symptoms - suprised me actually because I slept WELL last night and felt good this a.m. Glad I had been warned that this isn't necessarily a linear progression recovery plan we signed up for.
I took a long HOT bath, some B-12, Immodium AB and some NSAIDS I had laying around and I am actually feeling well again now after reading some posts and seeing a little time elapse. Emily said it would work this way sometimes and thank goodness for people who stick around so the rest of us newcomers have an example. Emily, you will forever be my angel for showing me a way out of this dreadful addiction. Lesser humans than you would recover, take the check and go on to the next new thing in life. Thanks for hanging for those of us who follow. And like I said yesterday, thank you for knowing how to wire all those tubes in the computer machine and for knowing how to lead us to you. Cause just like in the story of Hansil and Gretill, you spread bread crums in the Internet machine so we would know where to find you.
Promise now not to breathe a word about all my HOT baths of late, or people will think I have turned into a girleee man with my bathes that are hot, the covering up in the blankets, and the packing of the body with ice and the heat. Humpth, I say whatever works.
Iv'e also been thinking tonight about the difference between (1) facing uncertain withdrawal symptoms in the future, vs. (2) "relapsing", which I mean putting tramadol into our bodies again . I think I worry more about (1), the ongoing uncertain withdrawal symptoms that will be coming my way than I do about relapsing or ever using again. Here's why that is so for me:
I am no big strong tramadol giant killer. I get that recovery is fragile. Yet, I know what I have gone through to get me to this place, right here tonight. It's not easy and it isn't fun. But having fought through a few little days without tramadol I WOULD NEED TO HAVE MY FREAKIN HEAD EXAMINED to permit myself to repeat what I have gone through these past few days EVER again. So even in the HEAT of my withdrawal, I feel so much better than I did the last several years on the tramadol train.
Nope, for too long, we have been controlled by a drug that takes more and more from us while giving us less and less in return. It isn't a matter of IF we would eventually stop one day, but rather, HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST before we would stop. And DEATH clears the boards baby. In that moment, all choice in the matter is gone. This was a haunting thought I had many times in the past - that i would/could never get off the trramadol train, until death do us part.
If I am arrogent, I am arrogent ONLY in thinking that I sorta would kinda like to control the HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST part of this tramadol experience on MY terms. There are lots of good reasons for kicking this drug, but one of them has GOT to be to regain some control in one's life.
So if you asked me right now whether I will relapse and willingly put tramadol back into my body ever again, I'd say, "Holy Mother of God, I sure hope not". It took me too long to begin. And for this addict, beginning is what was difficult to bring myself to grips with.
I suspect that there may be a certain "esteem" in achieving a given # of recovery days. However, I'll bet if we were to ask folks with far more "recovery" than my measly pesky piddily few little days of QUIT time, which day they felt the most IMPORTANT DAY was, I'll bet you WOULDN'T hear the 3rd day or the 11th day or the 35th day or the 125th day or EVEN the five year mark being offered up as the most important. Nope, I am pretty sure that if we asked the TRAMAMASTERS, most would agree that the first day of recovery was the most IMPORTANT day in their own recovery. It is after all, the day that we all put off and avoided - it seemed like forever in my case.
Here's what else I have been thinking about tonight... while I would like to THINK that I won't relaspe and take this evil pill again, IT COULD HAPPEN. And while I may have another relapse left in me (which I am defining as putting tramadol back into my body again) the really scarry thing is that I REALLY am not sure that I will have another FIRST DAY OF RECOVERY LEFT IN ME if I relapsed again now. THINK ABOUT IT!
I must be the biggest cry baby on the face of the planet. Cus, ever since I typed the above line, I have been crying uncontrollably like a baby. I am so grateful that MERCIFULLY, I was given a chance...at a first day. The planets must have lined up perfectly for any of us to have been willing to come to the place, where we take that first baby step...to determine the time and place and cost of our taper or quit, to start the first day in a life without tramadol.
WHAT SORT OF MIRACLE IS IT, WHERE someone like me, could go thousands of days on tramadol and continuously choose the drug, feel uterly defeated and then SUDDENLY one day realize that they have a choice? HOW COOL WAS THAT? How could I have gone from feeling UTTERLY helpless and out of control, to believing that I might actually have a chance to kick? I'll tell you what, when that fleeting moment of clarity came into my pea brain and I realized that i didn't have to live like that another day on the tramadol roller coaster, I jumped. (thus my "fake taper") So I am crying like a baby tonight because unmerited favor and grace was bestowed on me, such that I really GOT that moment of clarity. I'm crying at the realization that the choice for HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST I stop taking this terrible drug, has been placed into my hands to decide, one moment by one moment with the help of a higher power, which right now I am choosing to call YOU GUYS. Pretty flipping miraculous I'd say. Pretty flipping MIRACULOUS. Cry your heart out GREAT flippin miraculous.
Stay close.
Courage and strength and compassion
Fred
Hey Fred... I had a little weep with you.
Oh, alright, a BIG weep.
The trigger for me, absolutely, was Emily's post. There is something really special about people from all over the place getting together to fight this.
Bless you all!
Sue
Oh, alright, a BIG weep.
The trigger for me, absolutely, was Emily's post. There is something really special about people from all over the place getting together to fight this.
Bless you all!
Sue
I HAVE BEEN USING TRAMADOL FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS NOW AND I TELL YOU WHAT WITHDRAW FROM TRAMADOL ARE THE MOST TERRABLE THING I HAVE EVER INDURED. I HAD AN INCCEDENT THAT REQUIRED ME TO HAVE A SCRIP FOR PERACET FOR 6 MONTHS AND THE WITHDRAWAL FROM PERC IS NO WERE CLOSE TO TRAMADOL.
THE ONLY THING I HAVE FOUND THAT COVERS UP THE WITHDRAWALS OF TRAMADOL IS ACCAHOL. I KNOW THAT NOT A CURE BUT I THINK IT’S THE LESS OF TO EVILS. I BELIVE THAT AFTER THESE DOCTORS FIGURE OUT WHAT TRAMADOL REALLY DO THAT IT WILL BE CLASSIFIED WITH VICIDON AND PERC. EVERY ONE STAY STRONG AND JUST REMEMBER THAT THERE IS ALWAYS SOME ONE ELSE OUT THERE THAT HAS IT WORSE OFF THAN YOU DO
THE ONLY THING I HAVE FOUND THAT COVERS UP THE WITHDRAWALS OF TRAMADOL IS ACCAHOL. I KNOW THAT NOT A CURE BUT I THINK IT’S THE LESS OF TO EVILS. I BELIVE THAT AFTER THESE DOCTORS FIGURE OUT WHAT TRAMADOL REALLY DO THAT IT WILL BE CLASSIFIED WITH VICIDON AND PERC. EVERY ONE STAY STRONG AND JUST REMEMBER THAT THERE IS ALWAYS SOME ONE ELSE OUT THERE THAT HAS IT WORSE OFF THAN YOU DO
Third Wise Man: I read your recent post and TOTALLY agree - we are in all out WAR for our souls my friend. I wouldn't venture to guess at how withdrawal from this compares to other "real" narcotic drugs. But when you hear of people tapering off tradadol by using something like vic, perc, etc., it sort of makes one wonder. WHAT is going on here?
I also totally understand wanting to cover the withdrawal with alcohol, but I have been there for myself and done that and I can't go back to that "cure' either. The main point is that you and I are committted to making this thing work and whatever is working for you, let nobody talk you out of.
Stay strong and of good courage. Fred
I also totally understand wanting to cover the withdrawal with alcohol, but I have been there for myself and done that and I can't go back to that "cure' either. The main point is that you and I are committted to making this thing work and whatever is working for you, let nobody talk you out of.
Stay strong and of good courage. Fred
this is an amazing thread, simply wondrous. it really needs to not vanish. it is this PARTICULAR thread that got me to quit and this thread that i have found the most support.
end of DAY 9. it hasn't been such a bad day physically. i am beginning to try to get some easy stuff done. still no real brain power or decision making ability. very emotional. still pretty removed from the rest of the world but not bad, not bad at all. i feel like i am waking up slowly.
i wonder if i need to go to NA? it sounds sort of grim but i am not ruling it out. i have gotten into using stuff in my life but i always get out of it. stop before it gets too destructive.
did anyone have horrendous irritablity on tram? i seem to be the only one that has mentioned that. i also had a terrrible sensitivity to sound, to noise, and to music i didn't like. i could tell when i needed a dose when i totally melted down over something. god, it is good to be leaving that behind.
end of DAY 9. it hasn't been such a bad day physically. i am beginning to try to get some easy stuff done. still no real brain power or decision making ability. very emotional. still pretty removed from the rest of the world but not bad, not bad at all. i feel like i am waking up slowly.
i wonder if i need to go to NA? it sounds sort of grim but i am not ruling it out. i have gotten into using stuff in my life but i always get out of it. stop before it gets too destructive.
did anyone have horrendous irritablity on tram? i seem to be the only one that has mentioned that. i also had a terrrible sensitivity to sound, to noise, and to music i didn't like. i could tell when i needed a dose when i totally melted down over something. god, it is good to be leaving that behind.
Hello Tramadol Warriors!
All of you. All of you. Hello dear ones :D
(((gentle hugs))) I am so proud of all of you. Going off the T, tapering the T ... It's all so good.. Thank you. Thank you. Even considering stopping ... thank you.
I don't actually feel any "esteem" in a number of days off of Tramadol. Maybe that is because I don't crave it. It never ever made me high. I don't remember it feeling good, I just remember it not feeling bad because I had forgotten to take a dose. Truly. Tramadol dependant. Physically dependant. Addicted. Yes. The Reluctant Addict. The Addict who is Addicted to the Pill You CANNOT get Addicted to. *rolls eyes*
*kicks Tramadol in the head!!!*
For me the most important day wasn't the first day that I did not take it. It was the day I looked in the drawer full of pills and thought, "This is crazy. I am going to die if I keep doing *this.* I'm going to stop. No matter what; this is insane and I'm not doing THIS any more."
So in a way, even though it was not the first day of me no longer having the Demon Drug, it was the first day for me. I really didn't realize (because I was living in the FOG by then) that the Tramadol was the problem. I really believed them when they told me that it was HELPING ME. Thus; the resultant BITTERNESS and ANGER (anger is justified and helpful, because it is the direct opposite of fear ... cultivate anger while fighting the good fight) at the drug itself and the system of medicine that disregards chronic pain patients, and sweeps them under the rug.
Do I have another first day of recovery from Tramadol left in me? No way. Not a chance.
I don't know why I was lucky like Fred and suddenly realized I had a choice. I certainly wasn't guided. I spent such a long time trying to find anyone out on the intrawebs on the computer machine (still laughing Fred!) to at least tell me the story of how they succeeded.
Fred you write, "Nope, for too long, we have been controlled by a drug that takes more and more from us while giving us less and less in return. It isn't a matter of IF we would eventually stop one day, but rather, HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST before we would stop. And DEATH clears the boards baby. In that moment, all choice in the matter is gone. This was a haunting thought I had many times in the past - that i would/could never get off the Tramadol train, until death do us part."
Yeah. I could pretty much picture what the inside lid of my coffin was going to look like. It was very scary. It was not part of my perfect plan. I didn't have a job that I could afford to take time off, I didn't have anyone to help me.
I remember very well on day 2 ... needing water. My DH was at work. I needed to get downstairs to get the water and I sat at the top of the stairs and after awhile I realized I was too weak to get down the stairs without falling ... and I crawled back to my bed. Crawled. And this is important. Like a baby. A toddler. But with way way way more pain. Too much pain to even scream or cry.
Crawled. Covered in dirty sweat, freezing inside, shaking, freaking out. The important thing to know about days 1-3 or 4 is that Tramadol is a mental head trip ... it will tell you YOU ARE GOING TO DIE unless you get more pills. Personally I was at the point where I knew I HAD to stop. No matter what; I was NOT going to take more Tramadol. Which is amazing considering that when you search for recovery boards for Tramadol you get Internet offers to sell it to you ... FED EX ...
At the point I was at it was not even tempting. I knew I was going to die if I kept taking it. No matter which Doctor told me it was safe and blah blah blah ... I remember now, thinking ... "How could they know?" They seemed so crazy and weird if it came to other drugs, but Tramadol was jelly beans!! Perfectly happy to tell me to take more ...
Fred I'mma fight you on the crown for biggest cry baby ok? I mean, I have to wear waterproof mascara on my BEST days! (betting Cash Money you don't!!) But yes, the gratitude and the mystery that I suddenly KNEW that TRAMADOL was poisoning me and NOT helping me at all ... is profound. In my case, I had to have a suicide wake me the he-$$ up. If Kimmie hadn't thrown herself off a building in France would I have KNOWN? I kinda doubt it. It shook me to my core. So disturbing, and yet I knew I was on my way there. If I didn't quit; I was going to die. I see that now so clearly. When i was on it and doing the "run out of pills taper" I only saw it for a minute with complete CLARITY. But yes, I saw it. I knew it.
When I was writing all the early journal stuff ... I barely even remember it now. That is why it is there, to help me remember. To help other people. Even if I don't know them; I KNOW THEM.
We all know each other.
I know about the, "But I don't have the time ..." I know about the, "I can't just STOP." I know about the, "Oh my god I am out of pills and now what?" Yes I went into forced withdrawal many times. In my case always because I was in denial about NEEDING Them. Always in denial about the physical dependency.
For the last couple of weeks I have had the flu and now I have a bronchitis type condition. It's very common in the first year if recovery to have a crashing immune system. Infinite patience and calm acceptance. The 12 steps, what i know of them ...have served me well. This drug, this dependency or addiction, is bigger and stronger ... cunning, baffling ... it's a killer.
I realize that I have to give up, resist the struggle, and join the winning side.
The winning side doesn't always fight. Sometimes you lay down and rest. You get shelled and bombarded by the withdrawal? Take shelter.
This thread, these people, are your comfort, you shelter. They know what you are going thru. They can help. Let them.
Love and healing,
Emily
All of you. All of you. Hello dear ones :D
(((gentle hugs))) I am so proud of all of you. Going off the T, tapering the T ... It's all so good.. Thank you. Thank you. Even considering stopping ... thank you.
I don't actually feel any "esteem" in a number of days off of Tramadol. Maybe that is because I don't crave it. It never ever made me high. I don't remember it feeling good, I just remember it not feeling bad because I had forgotten to take a dose. Truly. Tramadol dependant. Physically dependant. Addicted. Yes. The Reluctant Addict. The Addict who is Addicted to the Pill You CANNOT get Addicted to. *rolls eyes*
*kicks Tramadol in the head!!!*
For me the most important day wasn't the first day that I did not take it. It was the day I looked in the drawer full of pills and thought, "This is crazy. I am going to die if I keep doing *this.* I'm going to stop. No matter what; this is insane and I'm not doing THIS any more."
So in a way, even though it was not the first day of me no longer having the Demon Drug, it was the first day for me. I really didn't realize (because I was living in the FOG by then) that the Tramadol was the problem. I really believed them when they told me that it was HELPING ME. Thus; the resultant BITTERNESS and ANGER (anger is justified and helpful, because it is the direct opposite of fear ... cultivate anger while fighting the good fight) at the drug itself and the system of medicine that disregards chronic pain patients, and sweeps them under the rug.
Do I have another first day of recovery from Tramadol left in me? No way. Not a chance.
I don't know why I was lucky like Fred and suddenly realized I had a choice. I certainly wasn't guided. I spent such a long time trying to find anyone out on the intrawebs on the computer machine (still laughing Fred!) to at least tell me the story of how they succeeded.
Fred you write, "Nope, for too long, we have been controlled by a drug that takes more and more from us while giving us less and less in return. It isn't a matter of IF we would eventually stop one day, but rather, HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST before we would stop. And DEATH clears the boards baby. In that moment, all choice in the matter is gone. This was a haunting thought I had many times in the past - that i would/could never get off the Tramadol train, until death do us part."
Yeah. I could pretty much picture what the inside lid of my coffin was going to look like. It was very scary. It was not part of my perfect plan. I didn't have a job that I could afford to take time off, I didn't have anyone to help me.
I remember very well on day 2 ... needing water. My DH was at work. I needed to get downstairs to get the water and I sat at the top of the stairs and after awhile I realized I was too weak to get down the stairs without falling ... and I crawled back to my bed. Crawled. And this is important. Like a baby. A toddler. But with way way way more pain. Too much pain to even scream or cry.
Crawled. Covered in dirty sweat, freezing inside, shaking, freaking out. The important thing to know about days 1-3 or 4 is that Tramadol is a mental head trip ... it will tell you YOU ARE GOING TO DIE unless you get more pills. Personally I was at the point where I knew I HAD to stop. No matter what; I was NOT going to take more Tramadol. Which is amazing considering that when you search for recovery boards for Tramadol you get Internet offers to sell it to you ... FED EX ...
At the point I was at it was not even tempting. I knew I was going to die if I kept taking it. No matter which Doctor told me it was safe and blah blah blah ... I remember now, thinking ... "How could they know?" They seemed so crazy and weird if it came to other drugs, but Tramadol was jelly beans!! Perfectly happy to tell me to take more ...
Fred I'mma fight you on the crown for biggest cry baby ok? I mean, I have to wear waterproof mascara on my BEST days! (betting Cash Money you don't!!) But yes, the gratitude and the mystery that I suddenly KNEW that TRAMADOL was poisoning me and NOT helping me at all ... is profound. In my case, I had to have a suicide wake me the he-$$ up. If Kimmie hadn't thrown herself off a building in France would I have KNOWN? I kinda doubt it. It shook me to my core. So disturbing, and yet I knew I was on my way there. If I didn't quit; I was going to die. I see that now so clearly. When i was on it and doing the "run out of pills taper" I only saw it for a minute with complete CLARITY. But yes, I saw it. I knew it.
When I was writing all the early journal stuff ... I barely even remember it now. That is why it is there, to help me remember. To help other people. Even if I don't know them; I KNOW THEM.
We all know each other.
I know about the, "But I don't have the time ..." I know about the, "I can't just STOP." I know about the, "Oh my god I am out of pills and now what?" Yes I went into forced withdrawal many times. In my case always because I was in denial about NEEDING Them. Always in denial about the physical dependency.
For the last couple of weeks I have had the flu and now I have a bronchitis type condition. It's very common in the first year if recovery to have a crashing immune system. Infinite patience and calm acceptance. The 12 steps, what i know of them ...have served me well. This drug, this dependency or addiction, is bigger and stronger ... cunning, baffling ... it's a killer.
I realize that I have to give up, resist the struggle, and join the winning side.
The winning side doesn't always fight. Sometimes you lay down and rest. You get shelled and bombarded by the withdrawal? Take shelter.
This thread, these people, are your comfort, you shelter. They know what you are going thru. They can help. Let them.
Love and healing,
Emily
Ahhh yes, the thread that binds...
Let's pretend I slept well and am just up early. Sounds kinda nice hey?
Regrettably, I must go back to a VERY demanding full time job staritng on Monday. But I have enjoyed the largess of time this week, learning from you and coming to care a great deal for each of your recoveries in the process. It's funny how a few stories bind us together. A few stories on the core of what I am about at this moment. Getting well.
Endulge my rants yet a few more times and then I my posts will become fewer and shorter. Know this however, even when I am not posting as much this next week, I am DETERMINED TO KEEP UP the FIGHT to KICK THIS DEVIL DRUG IN THE HEAD. You see, this isn't an interest of mine I have "developed". For me, it has become a matter of LIFE or DEATH. And I am engagd in the fight of my lifetime.
You and I will probably never meet. Each of our lives contain facets, backgrounds, colors, vocations, interests and foibles that we will never come to know about one another. You might see me on the street, or on television and never know I am THAT GUY Fred. I could be the soldier returning from Iraq or the next economist retained to support Joe Biden. Yet our lives have become inexplicitly intertwined like the waters from many oceans, crashing together on the sandy shore. So, yes, I do know you and you know me. Because while each of our lives is FAR more than our fight to conquer our common addiction, I would venture to guess that the MOST important part of our lives right now, is that FIGHT we need to put forth, to rid our bodies of this innocently takenn rat pill we have been taking.
It has been said, and it's worth repeating, that I suspect none of us were seeking altered states or thrills when we began our journey into the tramadol jungle and haze. We took this supposedly harmless drug, only to feel "less unwell" than we were before our good doctors prescribed it for each of us. And now we must EACH find our way from the addiction which has subtilly found it's way into the core of each of our beings. Like an unwelcomed weed quietly entering in the gardens as we slept, tramadol has sunk it's dirty teeth into us as we slept. As we lived, As we loved. And now we must find a way to remove it from our lives today and forever.
I am beginning my 5th day of cold turkey - EXCIZING the "non-addictive, synthetic opiate", tramadol from my body. THAT ONE which I can buy without a prescription and have sitting in my driveway via FEDEX in the morning. THAT ONE must now go. THAT ONE which my good family doctor, who knew I was a recovering alcoholic, glanced over the brims of his wire rim glasses from, to read about this tramadol in his journals, as I sat across from him ...and then declared that it was suitable for my chronic hip pain. And it's THAT ONE that I would rather STOP now cold, even if it means enduring the pain, than for me to take THAT ONE ever again.
I simply cannot describe the joy that comes with knowing that THAT ONE will no longer control me. So what happened anyway?
>>>I suppose I ought to have known that I could become addicted to this little white pill.
>>>I suppose that I ought to have "limited' my intake to the 1-2, 50 mg/day that he first told me would help.
>>>I suppose I should not have told my doctor, that 100 mg was no longer working for me.
>>>I suppose I ought to have raised the red flag, when over the years, it took more and more of the drug to make me feel "less UNWELL". (I never craved the drug, i only took it to make my chronic pain feel less "unwell".
>>>I suppose I should have known that more and more if this drug would do less and less for me and that it would take take more and more of me in the process.
>>>I suppose I had my share of "less unwell" days over the six years I knew this tramadol.
>>>I suppose when I wasn't withdrawing from the pain it created, I had some "less painful" days over the years.
>>>I suppose I could have ordered online to "make up the difference" toward the end of each RX cycle. (see my journal entry describing MY monthly withdrawal jollies)
But guess what?
I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't and I didn't!!!
And here we are - in a fine kettle of fish. Now WHAT ARE WE WILLING TO DO ABOUT IT NOW? To what lengths are each of willing to go to eliminate the power that this drug has place over us?
There won't be any points scored in this game of RECOVERY gazing backwards at the mistakes of the past. Blamming our mothers, the FDA , a doctor, or ourselves won't add one lick of progress toward our recovery. (I am with you though, Emily. One day, when my aches and tingling and fevers and foggy mind becomes a distant memory, I WILL get to the bottom of this.) I will use the same passion I NOW use to kick this drug- IN ORDER TO unveil "how" and "why" this drug isn't better controlled and more cautiously prescribed.
THAT FIGHT, HOWEVER, IS LEFT FOR ANOTHER DAY. Today it's BYE BYE little devil residuals. So sad to see you go!!!
Over a week ago, I found the PATH via some bread crubs Emily had left on the Internet machine, and like in Hansill and Grettil, I was lead to this site. But I nearly missed the chance to hear your stories. I nearly missed the chance to read your journal entries describing both the addiction I knew too well. I nearly missed the path out which you had DISCOVERED AND are now fighting with me for.
If I hadn't saved the PATH to my favorites, I may never have found my way back to you. And the REALLY CRAZY thing is that every time I searched about recovering from tramadol addiction, six more sites offering to sell me the beautiful little white pills pop up. So freely do they provide what we want?
Someone asked recently about attending NA (and I suppose treatment centers) are another option for recovery. I have experience with both. (sorry to burst your bubble gang, but Fred is not a virgin here :)) I'll admit it, I was a daily drinker for years and while I never got arrested, I never lost my job, I didn't loose my house, or my wife or my dog, alcohol was a problem. And I had my last drink on June 26, 2001. I thought long and hard about sharing this, but I concluded that it does you MORE good than it does me harm to break my annominity, so there you have it.
So it is with some experience that I offer my take on the Treatment Center Option: If you have $10,000. laying around or an insurance plan that will cover it AND if you either don't need to work or can take "sick leave", please, log off now and arrange to go into treatment.
This is what you will get: You'll learn about your disease, you'll eat great food, you'll play volleyball (whahoo!), you'll do a "challenge course" with your new friends, you'll draw pictures of your disease on 48" x 36" butcher paper and explain what you drew, you'll attend lectures on your addiction, you'll have a few individual counseling sessions and did I mention, you'll eat some really great food? Oh, and you'll get good drugs to address the symptoms we are all complaining about here. And if you are really really lucky, they'll take you to some actual NA or AA meetings and you can decide whether a 12 step program is right for you.
Now, as to NA and AA programs, it's fair to say that any of us here would feel welcome at these. I go to an AA meeting every Friday night, as sort of an insurance plan against taking that first drink ever again. You will find people just like us, who have made their own battle with their DOC (drug of choice) the most important thing in their lives. And you would be warmly welcomed and I am quite sure assisted. But instead of via Emily's wires and tubes, you would be face to face.
So why am I here with my fellow warriers right now and not in an NA meeting? Well, for starters, it's the middle of the night and except for our Austrailian friends, we ought to all be sleeping now. I am still not sleeping well, but you know what? I am using this time to learn all I can about MY addiction to this non addicting drug and taking the time to read about what you guys have gone through.
The reality is this, I knew that there isn't anybody ELSE gonna save me from MY addiction, except me. Want a REAL reality check? The success rate for most treatment programs is such that less than 1 out of 3 people who go through such a center will be clean and sober in one year. Do you like those odds? NOT me.
After reading posts from people like Emily and Cadillac Jack, I lcame to believe that there is no easy way out of this S**T hole EXCEPT and unless I am willing to work for it. Oh we can take vitimins and drugs to help lessen our pain during withdrawal, STRAIGHT TALK: there isn't a program, plan, meeting, leather jacket, spouse, loved one, or friend that can do for me, what I CANNOT or WILL NOT do for myself.
>>>there isn't any GROUP or RANCH or HOME that is going to do for me, what I cannot do for myself. There is no other pill I can take, no plan I can enroll in, no coat of armor I can put on, no destination I can travel to, THAT WILL DO FOR ME WHAT I CANNOT DO FOR MYSELF. It's just me, us, the demon pill and time that will refresh us in recovery
I see folks exploring their options as they begin to realize the gig us up for them. I have begun to get questions about this tramadol by wifes, seeking to save their husbands. SADLY, recovery falls directly on you and me. And hey, I suffered thru years and years of this addiction before I came to the point where I was so tired of counting how may pills I didn't have left and how painful that PARTIAL withdrwal was month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month. This sweet little non addictive synthetic opiate drug that is easier to buy and/or use than a pack of smokes. Am I sympathteic? Heck yes. I am one of you. I know you. I get it. It *****. And it will probably suck more month by month until you are either free or dead.
I CHOSE LIFE. I CHOOSE FREEDOM.
So the choice is really simple for me. I choose to endure the pain, believing that better days will come. And indeed, for those keeping score at home, I actually feel well right now at the beginning of my day 5 of NO tramadol.
**************************
I have been rambling on long enough, so I am turning the mic over to Emily. Below is a portion of one of her journal entires from last summer, THAT I FOUND MEANINGFUL TO MY RECOVERY. She was quite the fighter in her day too. And would we actually that we might kick this drug without being upset?
I think not. So enjoy the read and take strength.
*************************
I mentioned it before, but I want to mention it again. Tramadol was declared a NARCOTIC in May of this year by Sweden. Go SWEDEN! It's kind of interesting how your mind can go from; "I want to die." To "When will this withdrawal end?" To;" Why is this drug being Sold to Innocent People?"
I really am freakishly strong for a woman. With No Insurance and no one to really support me I can't go into some rehab. I don't think I would want to anyhow. I don't want another drug to get off this drug. I want freedom. I want my brain back. Preferably without the massive headache.
What I was looking for when I arrived here was; what is the most painless way to get OUT of this mess?
Truth?
Just accept that it's going to be painful. Don't resist. There's this thing we do in Bikrams yoga. It's a form of breathing. Try it. You breathe IN to the count of say 5. Then you breathe out to the count of ten. Repeat. You will feel your heart rate drop. You will feel your central nervous system being forced to calm itself. All I can say is if God has a plan; this whole thing was part of his plan.
Without my yoga training. Without my determination NOT to be a chronic pain patient; I wouldn't still be here learning as fast as I am. Good thing about time slowing down? There's ALOT more you can learn about yourself. If I hadn't had all that yogic training I think I'd be in some crazy uninsured "we'll accidentally KILL you if we can" hospital rehabs ...
LOL! EXCEPT they wouldn't actually LET ME IN because see; Tramadol isn't supposed to be an OPIATE! Ahhhhhhahahahahahaaa! It's kinda funny. In a dark demented way.
There's nothing wrong with pain. The resistance of it only makes it increase. Feel the pain. Let it tell you its secrets. Let it instruct you. Pain hides nothing. Pain is not a liar. The resistance of pain IS a Liar. So you breathe and accept that withdrawal takes as long as it takes.
The Tramadol it's here in my house and I could give a rat's patootie. It seriously became like little capsules of rat poison to me. A build up for the big day when these idiot doctors would actually kill me. You have to ask yourself; how culpable are they? I was the one swallowing the "perfectly safe pills!"
**************
I have a few left over pills here too. I intend to keep them as a reminder of what I am fighting against. And if I want to start em up again. GOD HELP ME.
courage and strength fellow warriers, Fred
Let's pretend I slept well and am just up early. Sounds kinda nice hey?
Regrettably, I must go back to a VERY demanding full time job staritng on Monday. But I have enjoyed the largess of time this week, learning from you and coming to care a great deal for each of your recoveries in the process. It's funny how a few stories bind us together. A few stories on the core of what I am about at this moment. Getting well.
Endulge my rants yet a few more times and then I my posts will become fewer and shorter. Know this however, even when I am not posting as much this next week, I am DETERMINED TO KEEP UP the FIGHT to KICK THIS DEVIL DRUG IN THE HEAD. You see, this isn't an interest of mine I have "developed". For me, it has become a matter of LIFE or DEATH. And I am engagd in the fight of my lifetime.
You and I will probably never meet. Each of our lives contain facets, backgrounds, colors, vocations, interests and foibles that we will never come to know about one another. You might see me on the street, or on television and never know I am THAT GUY Fred. I could be the soldier returning from Iraq or the next economist retained to support Joe Biden. Yet our lives have become inexplicitly intertwined like the waters from many oceans, crashing together on the sandy shore. So, yes, I do know you and you know me. Because while each of our lives is FAR more than our fight to conquer our common addiction, I would venture to guess that the MOST important part of our lives right now, is that FIGHT we need to put forth, to rid our bodies of this innocently takenn rat pill we have been taking.
It has been said, and it's worth repeating, that I suspect none of us were seeking altered states or thrills when we began our journey into the tramadol jungle and haze. We took this supposedly harmless drug, only to feel "less unwell" than we were before our good doctors prescribed it for each of us. And now we must EACH find our way from the addiction which has subtilly found it's way into the core of each of our beings. Like an unwelcomed weed quietly entering in the gardens as we slept, tramadol has sunk it's dirty teeth into us as we slept. As we lived, As we loved. And now we must find a way to remove it from our lives today and forever.
I am beginning my 5th day of cold turkey - EXCIZING the "non-addictive, synthetic opiate", tramadol from my body. THAT ONE which I can buy without a prescription and have sitting in my driveway via FEDEX in the morning. THAT ONE must now go. THAT ONE which my good family doctor, who knew I was a recovering alcoholic, glanced over the brims of his wire rim glasses from, to read about this tramadol in his journals, as I sat across from him ...and then declared that it was suitable for my chronic hip pain. And it's THAT ONE that I would rather STOP now cold, even if it means enduring the pain, than for me to take THAT ONE ever again.
I simply cannot describe the joy that comes with knowing that THAT ONE will no longer control me. So what happened anyway?
>>>I suppose I ought to have known that I could become addicted to this little white pill.
>>>I suppose that I ought to have "limited' my intake to the 1-2, 50 mg/day that he first told me would help.
>>>I suppose I should not have told my doctor, that 100 mg was no longer working for me.
>>>I suppose I ought to have raised the red flag, when over the years, it took more and more of the drug to make me feel "less UNWELL". (I never craved the drug, i only took it to make my chronic pain feel less "unwell".
>>>I suppose I should have known that more and more if this drug would do less and less for me and that it would take take more and more of me in the process.
>>>I suppose I had my share of "less unwell" days over the six years I knew this tramadol.
>>>I suppose when I wasn't withdrawing from the pain it created, I had some "less painful" days over the years.
>>>I suppose I could have ordered online to "make up the difference" toward the end of each RX cycle. (see my journal entry describing MY monthly withdrawal jollies)
But guess what?
I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't and I didn't!!!
And here we are - in a fine kettle of fish. Now WHAT ARE WE WILLING TO DO ABOUT IT NOW? To what lengths are each of willing to go to eliminate the power that this drug has place over us?
There won't be any points scored in this game of RECOVERY gazing backwards at the mistakes of the past. Blamming our mothers, the FDA , a doctor, or ourselves won't add one lick of progress toward our recovery. (I am with you though, Emily. One day, when my aches and tingling and fevers and foggy mind becomes a distant memory, I WILL get to the bottom of this.) I will use the same passion I NOW use to kick this drug- IN ORDER TO unveil "how" and "why" this drug isn't better controlled and more cautiously prescribed.
THAT FIGHT, HOWEVER, IS LEFT FOR ANOTHER DAY. Today it's BYE BYE little devil residuals. So sad to see you go!!!
Over a week ago, I found the PATH via some bread crubs Emily had left on the Internet machine, and like in Hansill and Grettil, I was lead to this site. But I nearly missed the chance to hear your stories. I nearly missed the chance to read your journal entries describing both the addiction I knew too well. I nearly missed the path out which you had DISCOVERED AND are now fighting with me for.
If I hadn't saved the PATH to my favorites, I may never have found my way back to you. And the REALLY CRAZY thing is that every time I searched about recovering from tramadol addiction, six more sites offering to sell me the beautiful little white pills pop up. So freely do they provide what we want?
Someone asked recently about attending NA (and I suppose treatment centers) are another option for recovery. I have experience with both. (sorry to burst your bubble gang, but Fred is not a virgin here :)) I'll admit it, I was a daily drinker for years and while I never got arrested, I never lost my job, I didn't loose my house, or my wife or my dog, alcohol was a problem. And I had my last drink on June 26, 2001. I thought long and hard about sharing this, but I concluded that it does you MORE good than it does me harm to break my annominity, so there you have it.
So it is with some experience that I offer my take on the Treatment Center Option: If you have $10,000. laying around or an insurance plan that will cover it AND if you either don't need to work or can take "sick leave", please, log off now and arrange to go into treatment.
This is what you will get: You'll learn about your disease, you'll eat great food, you'll play volleyball (whahoo!), you'll do a "challenge course" with your new friends, you'll draw pictures of your disease on 48" x 36" butcher paper and explain what you drew, you'll attend lectures on your addiction, you'll have a few individual counseling sessions and did I mention, you'll eat some really great food? Oh, and you'll get good drugs to address the symptoms we are all complaining about here. And if you are really really lucky, they'll take you to some actual NA or AA meetings and you can decide whether a 12 step program is right for you.
Now, as to NA and AA programs, it's fair to say that any of us here would feel welcome at these. I go to an AA meeting every Friday night, as sort of an insurance plan against taking that first drink ever again. You will find people just like us, who have made their own battle with their DOC (drug of choice) the most important thing in their lives. And you would be warmly welcomed and I am quite sure assisted. But instead of via Emily's wires and tubes, you would be face to face.
So why am I here with my fellow warriers right now and not in an NA meeting? Well, for starters, it's the middle of the night and except for our Austrailian friends, we ought to all be sleeping now. I am still not sleeping well, but you know what? I am using this time to learn all I can about MY addiction to this non addicting drug and taking the time to read about what you guys have gone through.
The reality is this, I knew that there isn't anybody ELSE gonna save me from MY addiction, except me. Want a REAL reality check? The success rate for most treatment programs is such that less than 1 out of 3 people who go through such a center will be clean and sober in one year. Do you like those odds? NOT me.
After reading posts from people like Emily and Cadillac Jack, I lcame to believe that there is no easy way out of this S**T hole EXCEPT and unless I am willing to work for it. Oh we can take vitimins and drugs to help lessen our pain during withdrawal, STRAIGHT TALK: there isn't a program, plan, meeting, leather jacket, spouse, loved one, or friend that can do for me, what I CANNOT or WILL NOT do for myself.
>>>there isn't any GROUP or RANCH or HOME that is going to do for me, what I cannot do for myself. There is no other pill I can take, no plan I can enroll in, no coat of armor I can put on, no destination I can travel to, THAT WILL DO FOR ME WHAT I CANNOT DO FOR MYSELF. It's just me, us, the demon pill and time that will refresh us in recovery
I see folks exploring their options as they begin to realize the gig us up for them. I have begun to get questions about this tramadol by wifes, seeking to save their husbands. SADLY, recovery falls directly on you and me. And hey, I suffered thru years and years of this addiction before I came to the point where I was so tired of counting how may pills I didn't have left and how painful that PARTIAL withdrwal was month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month. This sweet little non addictive synthetic opiate drug that is easier to buy and/or use than a pack of smokes. Am I sympathteic? Heck yes. I am one of you. I know you. I get it. It *****. And it will probably suck more month by month until you are either free or dead.
I CHOSE LIFE. I CHOOSE FREEDOM.
So the choice is really simple for me. I choose to endure the pain, believing that better days will come. And indeed, for those keeping score at home, I actually feel well right now at the beginning of my day 5 of NO tramadol.
**************************
I have been rambling on long enough, so I am turning the mic over to Emily. Below is a portion of one of her journal entires from last summer, THAT I FOUND MEANINGFUL TO MY RECOVERY. She was quite the fighter in her day too. And would we actually that we might kick this drug without being upset?
I think not. So enjoy the read and take strength.
*************************
I mentioned it before, but I want to mention it again. Tramadol was declared a NARCOTIC in May of this year by Sweden. Go SWEDEN! It's kind of interesting how your mind can go from; "I want to die." To "When will this withdrawal end?" To;" Why is this drug being Sold to Innocent People?"
I really am freakishly strong for a woman. With No Insurance and no one to really support me I can't go into some rehab. I don't think I would want to anyhow. I don't want another drug to get off this drug. I want freedom. I want my brain back. Preferably without the massive headache.
What I was looking for when I arrived here was; what is the most painless way to get OUT of this mess?
Truth?
Just accept that it's going to be painful. Don't resist. There's this thing we do in Bikrams yoga. It's a form of breathing. Try it. You breathe IN to the count of say 5. Then you breathe out to the count of ten. Repeat. You will feel your heart rate drop. You will feel your central nervous system being forced to calm itself. All I can say is if God has a plan; this whole thing was part of his plan.
Without my yoga training. Without my determination NOT to be a chronic pain patient; I wouldn't still be here learning as fast as I am. Good thing about time slowing down? There's ALOT more you can learn about yourself. If I hadn't had all that yogic training I think I'd be in some crazy uninsured "we'll accidentally KILL you if we can" hospital rehabs ...
LOL! EXCEPT they wouldn't actually LET ME IN because see; Tramadol isn't supposed to be an OPIATE! Ahhhhhhahahahahahaaa! It's kinda funny. In a dark demented way.
There's nothing wrong with pain. The resistance of it only makes it increase. Feel the pain. Let it tell you its secrets. Let it instruct you. Pain hides nothing. Pain is not a liar. The resistance of pain IS a Liar. So you breathe and accept that withdrawal takes as long as it takes.
The Tramadol it's here in my house and I could give a rat's patootie. It seriously became like little capsules of rat poison to me. A build up for the big day when these idiot doctors would actually kill me. You have to ask yourself; how culpable are they? I was the one swallowing the "perfectly safe pills!"
**************
I have a few left over pills here too. I intend to keep them as a reminder of what I am fighting against. And if I want to start em up again. GOD HELP ME.
courage and strength fellow warriers, Fred
Kyle, day one having extreme withrrdrwal pains, This is not my first attempt. I keep putting myself in my own hell. This time I was up to 20-30 a day. Its cold turkey or nothing for me. I have hit rock bottom. My Girlfriend of three years have left me this time, we got engaged three months ago. My parents have come and picked me up our place. I have broken her trust for the third time. I know what is in store for me and I don't think I can make it. I really want my life back! what should I do?
shaffekl, This site ought to be more accurately be called, "the guide to the terribly difficult, hard road to recovery through home withdrawal" site. You may find a kinder gentler way to beat this addiction, but I don't know what that is and this one can be efffective if you re willing to work for it. I hope you will read on.
You will see my posts around this place recently, because like you, I came to the place recently, where I KNEW I had to find a way to kick this thing. So I have been making journal enties, researching withdrawal symptoms from tramadol, and writing like a mad man - totally determined, consumed, and focused to try and make this work for me. And guess what? -it is working for me. I just am wrapping my 5th day without taking any tramadol. And only today, am I able to sense SOME kind of normalcy in my life again after six ROCKY years on the tramadol train.
I totally respect and admire you. Most seeking recovery wouldn't have the nerve to inquire, "what shall I do". Frankly (and i KNOW this from my own personal experience until just days ago) it is easier to simply take another handful of pills than it is to inquire about getting well.
Let me turn your question around: How badly do you want your life back? I would hesitate to even begin the journey of recovery until you are really SURE that you are committed to making this work for you. I am not trying to be flip or unkind. God do I know what you are going through. I just know that the battle cannot be won with half measures. You see, I tried those month after month after month. And I was not even able to able to limit the tramadol I was prescribed let alone stop entirely, no matter who wanted me to stop.
If you are willing to do WAR with this evil drug, you can succeed. I believe you can make it. But it won't be easy. And unless you determine that this is the most important thing you have ever done in YOUR life, I am afraid you'll never make it. It may be important to your parents and/or to your girlfriend for you to stop, but unless/until it becomes IMPORTANT TO YOU, you don't stand a chance. (my opinion only) Your body will scream out in pain, "make me not unwell" again. It's a pathetic last ditch effort to keep you taking these little jewells. Pain or pills? I opted for pills 2,190 days in a row because it was the easier thing to do. Why make life difficult? And yes, we all have jobs to do and places to be without pain. I really really get the choice. And I chose pills 2,190 days consequetively until I found this site and realized that recovery IS possible if I am willing to do war with this drug. So are you?
I have very little PROSPECTIVE. My own recovery is too near the beginning to say for certain what tomorrow will bring. But I know this, today was easier than yesterday and yesterday was easier than the day before and so on. But as I read Emily Post's journal I found that this battle can be won, if we are willing to make this the most important battle we have waged. ( I STRONGLY encourage you to find and click on Emily Post's icon to go to her journals) you will see that it is possible to overcome this terrible nasty wicked drug. Sadly, the fight will consume you. But it IS possible to do if you take things moment by moment and day by day.
So talk to yourself. Ask how badly you really want to overcome this drug. There won't be any remedy to take away the pain that I know you will must feel right now. See the pain as a reminder of the struggle you are in. That pain means tramadol is leaving your system and it won't go without a fight. There are however, some things you can do to make the tough journey a little lighter.
(1) Keep posting - it helped me firm up my own resolve. (2) Keep reading other's posts - it will help you see that it is DOABLE (3) pay attention to the things others have written about to lighten the burdon - inability to sleep and freakishly terrible foot pain would be tops on my list to find a remedy to ease during your first few days.
There are medications a doctor could prescribe to address sleeplessnes and foot pain But if you are like most of us, the last thing you want to do is to admit to your doc that you have become addicted to tramadol, for fear that he/she may not renew your order any longer. And if your addiction is ANYTHING like mine, you want a place to go to order your next RX. Of course if you were taking 20-30/day, i suspect that you have already found a way to order online, cause my doc never prescribed more than 8/day for me. And i thought he was being unkind for limiting my drug of choice.
My addiction told me to hide my problem from my doctor. What would I have said, "I am addicted to these pills doctor, prescribe more of them for me please?" In retrospect, I have to admit that it is at least possible that he could/would have prescribed things to have made these past five days easier. So if you do have a relationship with a doctor, I would tell him straight up about your troubles and see if he can help prescribe something to make coming off this hellish drug more bearable. The down side of course is that you probably fear that he will never write another script for you. Frankly, I wasn't willing to risk asking because I didn't know how this would end up for me. Maybe that's you as well?
I DO know you. We know one another. I know the pain you are going through. I know how hard it is to say "no" damit, when a hand full of little white pills could make you "not unwell" again in under an hour.
This addiction is no respector of persons. I may be the man that pours you coffee at the coffee shop, of the one who takes the keys to your car when you ask me to park it for you, or I may be your banker, or your lawyer, or your librarian, or your hairdresser, or your mechanic, or the one who instructs you at the voc/tech school near your home. I could be the man who sits on the tractor, or the baker who turns dough into bread, or the bass player in a group you have a CD of, of I may be the greenskeeper at the course where you play golf... or the model on the runnway (well, okay, I guess we could rule THAT one out!) , or the guy who writes an estimate on your car, or the mechanic who drains your oil, or the congressman who passes the laws governing your taxes. No ethnic group, race, sex, age, vocation, education, financial status or religion will make you immune from tramadol addiction.
The fact is, I expect that we all got into the mess we are in honestly. I suspect that we didn't begin taking this drug to get high. If we did, wow, did we bet on the wrong horse! To the contrary, we are generally good people like yourself, who find ourself in the middle of the biggest fight of our lifetime.
You asked, "what should I do?" My response: take some time if you aren't sure yet what you really WANT to do. Take some time to think about what cost you rte willing to bear to overcome this addiction. And if YOU really want to do this thing now, hold on, buckle up, and get ready for the ride of your life. Because you are about to do the most difficult thing you can ever imagine. I'd like to candy coat this, but that isn't possible. SORRY, really i am.
I look at it this way, there are worse pieces of medical news I could get besides "I am addicted to tramadol. I could have just been told that I have terminal cancer. THIS ONE I can do something about. THIS problem can have a happy ending if I am only willing to work my *** off. Regrettably, some bits of medical news won't have a happy ending regardless of how much we work for them.
The question is, what are you WILLING to do? If you want a kind gentle ride, the circus should be in town next Spring and ponys will be there to take on riders.. Cold turkey isn't for you.
But if you are as fed up as I was, if you are as tired of the lies as I was, if you are as sick of the repeated partial withdrawals we all go through on this drug MONTH AFTER BLOODY MONTH, if you are tired of staying home waIting for the FEDEX man - then you have your own answer. And if you do decide to take on the challenge, people who post on this site will be here for you.
So with the utmost compassion, understanding and love, let me ask you...what should YOU do?
Courage and strength to all who enter this rooms. Fred
You will see my posts around this place recently, because like you, I came to the place recently, where I KNEW I had to find a way to kick this thing. So I have been making journal enties, researching withdrawal symptoms from tramadol, and writing like a mad man - totally determined, consumed, and focused to try and make this work for me. And guess what? -it is working for me. I just am wrapping my 5th day without taking any tramadol. And only today, am I able to sense SOME kind of normalcy in my life again after six ROCKY years on the tramadol train.
I totally respect and admire you. Most seeking recovery wouldn't have the nerve to inquire, "what shall I do". Frankly (and i KNOW this from my own personal experience until just days ago) it is easier to simply take another handful of pills than it is to inquire about getting well.
Let me turn your question around: How badly do you want your life back? I would hesitate to even begin the journey of recovery until you are really SURE that you are committed to making this work for you. I am not trying to be flip or unkind. God do I know what you are going through. I just know that the battle cannot be won with half measures. You see, I tried those month after month after month. And I was not even able to able to limit the tramadol I was prescribed let alone stop entirely, no matter who wanted me to stop.
If you are willing to do WAR with this evil drug, you can succeed. I believe you can make it. But it won't be easy. And unless you determine that this is the most important thing you have ever done in YOUR life, I am afraid you'll never make it. It may be important to your parents and/or to your girlfriend for you to stop, but unless/until it becomes IMPORTANT TO YOU, you don't stand a chance. (my opinion only) Your body will scream out in pain, "make me not unwell" again. It's a pathetic last ditch effort to keep you taking these little jewells. Pain or pills? I opted for pills 2,190 days in a row because it was the easier thing to do. Why make life difficult? And yes, we all have jobs to do and places to be without pain. I really really get the choice. And I chose pills 2,190 days consequetively until I found this site and realized that recovery IS possible if I am willing to do war with this drug. So are you?
I have very little PROSPECTIVE. My own recovery is too near the beginning to say for certain what tomorrow will bring. But I know this, today was easier than yesterday and yesterday was easier than the day before and so on. But as I read Emily Post's journal I found that this battle can be won, if we are willing to make this the most important battle we have waged. ( I STRONGLY encourage you to find and click on Emily Post's icon to go to her journals) you will see that it is possible to overcome this terrible nasty wicked drug. Sadly, the fight will consume you. But it IS possible to do if you take things moment by moment and day by day.
So talk to yourself. Ask how badly you really want to overcome this drug. There won't be any remedy to take away the pain that I know you will must feel right now. See the pain as a reminder of the struggle you are in. That pain means tramadol is leaving your system and it won't go without a fight. There are however, some things you can do to make the tough journey a little lighter.
(1) Keep posting - it helped me firm up my own resolve. (2) Keep reading other's posts - it will help you see that it is DOABLE (3) pay attention to the things others have written about to lighten the burdon - inability to sleep and freakishly terrible foot pain would be tops on my list to find a remedy to ease during your first few days.
There are medications a doctor could prescribe to address sleeplessnes and foot pain But if you are like most of us, the last thing you want to do is to admit to your doc that you have become addicted to tramadol, for fear that he/she may not renew your order any longer. And if your addiction is ANYTHING like mine, you want a place to go to order your next RX. Of course if you were taking 20-30/day, i suspect that you have already found a way to order online, cause my doc never prescribed more than 8/day for me. And i thought he was being unkind for limiting my drug of choice.
My addiction told me to hide my problem from my doctor. What would I have said, "I am addicted to these pills doctor, prescribe more of them for me please?" In retrospect, I have to admit that it is at least possible that he could/would have prescribed things to have made these past five days easier. So if you do have a relationship with a doctor, I would tell him straight up about your troubles and see if he can help prescribe something to make coming off this hellish drug more bearable. The down side of course is that you probably fear that he will never write another script for you. Frankly, I wasn't willing to risk asking because I didn't know how this would end up for me. Maybe that's you as well?
I DO know you. We know one another. I know the pain you are going through. I know how hard it is to say "no" damit, when a hand full of little white pills could make you "not unwell" again in under an hour.
This addiction is no respector of persons. I may be the man that pours you coffee at the coffee shop, of the one who takes the keys to your car when you ask me to park it for you, or I may be your banker, or your lawyer, or your librarian, or your hairdresser, or your mechanic, or the one who instructs you at the voc/tech school near your home. I could be the man who sits on the tractor, or the baker who turns dough into bread, or the bass player in a group you have a CD of, of I may be the greenskeeper at the course where you play golf... or the model on the runnway (well, okay, I guess we could rule THAT one out!) , or the guy who writes an estimate on your car, or the mechanic who drains your oil, or the congressman who passes the laws governing your taxes. No ethnic group, race, sex, age, vocation, education, financial status or religion will make you immune from tramadol addiction.
The fact is, I expect that we all got into the mess we are in honestly. I suspect that we didn't begin taking this drug to get high. If we did, wow, did we bet on the wrong horse! To the contrary, we are generally good people like yourself, who find ourself in the middle of the biggest fight of our lifetime.
You asked, "what should I do?" My response: take some time if you aren't sure yet what you really WANT to do. Take some time to think about what cost you rte willing to bear to overcome this addiction. And if YOU really want to do this thing now, hold on, buckle up, and get ready for the ride of your life. Because you are about to do the most difficult thing you can ever imagine. I'd like to candy coat this, but that isn't possible. SORRY, really i am.
I look at it this way, there are worse pieces of medical news I could get besides "I am addicted to tramadol. I could have just been told that I have terminal cancer. THIS ONE I can do something about. THIS problem can have a happy ending if I am only willing to work my *** off. Regrettably, some bits of medical news won't have a happy ending regardless of how much we work for them.
The question is, what are you WILLING to do? If you want a kind gentle ride, the circus should be in town next Spring and ponys will be there to take on riders.. Cold turkey isn't for you.
But if you are as fed up as I was, if you are as tired of the lies as I was, if you are as sick of the repeated partial withdrawals we all go through on this drug MONTH AFTER BLOODY MONTH, if you are tired of staying home waIting for the FEDEX man - then you have your own answer. And if you do decide to take on the challenge, people who post on this site will be here for you.
So with the utmost compassion, understanding and love, let me ask you...what should YOU do?
Courage and strength to all who enter this rooms. Fred
thanks fred
The second day has been far worse. I can not sit still and I can get up to move around. I am doing my best to stay hydrated. My skin is crwaling unbearabley. I cant sleep a wink. There is no relief. My focus has become more of the battle mind frame. I know I my wordage is really bad but I can barely see straight. Has anybody every had tremors in their sight. I wish I could be more expressive like you Fred, but I do appricate the words of encouragment. I wish i could do more to help with your recovery. But, man, your words have helped me today. I know what I want and its my life back even though it will never be he same. I lucky to have family to help me through this. I need do do this for myself and not anyone else, which is extremely hard for me since I am a giver. Day three will be better, right?
The second day has been far worse. I can not sit still and I can get up to move around. I am doing my best to stay hydrated. My skin is crwaling unbearabley. I cant sleep a wink. There is no relief. My focus has become more of the battle mind frame. I know I my wordage is really bad but I can barely see straight. Has anybody every had tremors in their sight. I wish I could be more expressive like you Fred, but I do appricate the words of encouragment. I wish i could do more to help with your recovery. But, man, your words have helped me today. I know what I want and its my life back even though it will never be he same. I lucky to have family to help me through this. I need do do this for myself and not anyone else, which is extremely hard for me since I am a giver. Day three will be better, right?
shaffeki, I am SO proud of you. Yes, day 3 will be easier than day two, but it will take a few more days before your body stops feeling like you have the flu. No worries about your wordage, NONE of us will be making any money at this. :)
Have you started to make journal entries to record your own struggles and reasons for quitting? Did you read Emily's journal? As much as possible these past several days, I have tried to learn as much as I could from others AND at the same time, recording my own struggles. (as I mentioned once before, i think my wife thinks I am spending FAR too much time on the computer, but nothing matters to me more than beating this. And writing journal entries helps keep your mind off of the pain I know you feel right now.
The first step is the hardest and you have taken that one. Just a few more days and you will be out of the jungle. You have come TOO FAR to give up now. CONGRATS.
Have you started to make journal entries to record your own struggles and reasons for quitting? Did you read Emily's journal? As much as possible these past several days, I have tried to learn as much as I could from others AND at the same time, recording my own struggles. (as I mentioned once before, i think my wife thinks I am spending FAR too much time on the computer, but nothing matters to me more than beating this. And writing journal entries helps keep your mind off of the pain I know you feel right now.
The first step is the hardest and you have taken that one. Just a few more days and you will be out of the jungle. You have come TOO FAR to give up now. CONGRATS.
Hi Shaffeki;
That's exactly right. Approach it like a WAR. Beat it to death before it kills you. The amount you were taking is high, but you have detoxed a few times, so alot of this won't be new. But please, allow us to help in any way. Mainly I think just knowing that your life can and will be better without this drug is encouraging.
I'm very sorry to here about your girlfriend and the loss and broken heartedness of that. I was really happy to hear that your Family was coming to pick you up and care for you.
There's temporary relief offered by distraction techniques. Watching comedies, taking baths with mineral salts. I found in the beginning I was too weak for baths so I would use Batherapy Lavender (which has a crazy high amount of minerals in it) as a scrub in a hot shower.
Clean clothes helped alot cause of the sweat. Comfortable.
B-12 sublingual tablets were invaluable to me. They didn't give me energy, they helped calm me down. I assume this was because stress made my system depleted of B Vitamins.
Emergency C packages were great in water. I could not drink straight water. They also now make a pre-prepared vitamin drink. I also drank alot of apple juice.
Imodium AD (specifically the AD) tablets or liquid will calm down the withdrawal. It works with opiates and with this c-r-appola.
Honey helped when I thought I was about to die, or when the Fig descended.
It's amazing that you can not sit still. This is one weird drug.
A heating pad and ice packs are invaluable.
Sleep. Benadryl or Tylenol PM or passionflower, valerian root, hot chamomile tea, listening to calm iPod meditation music helps. I used to strap an ice pack to my right leg (nerve damage) and foot and lay a heating pad across my belly. I remember using all kinds of crazy pillows to prop myself up and try to get comfortable.
You ask, "I know I my wordage is really bad but I can barely see straight. Has anybody every had tremors in their sight."
Yes, for me in early withdrawal I could not read magazines or books, I could barely see the computer. But I am lucky cause I have a laptop and a tray so it was close. I did alot of writing and ranting and there's a bazillion misspelled words, run on sentences .. and so on. It was just; I was so determined to get off the pills. I knew it was going to kill me.
I think it was and is amazing that no one else said anything to me. It was, in retrospect really obvious something crazy was going on with me. I wonder now if anyone thought I was just suffering from chronic pain or if I was on drugs. That's the incredibly annoying part about Tramadol. It's considered so "safe." PPfffttt!!! for me (I speak only for myself here) it was so much easier to get off codeine than Tramadol. Part of that was just that the source ran out. Cause codeine is considered "dangerous."
It's so awful now for me to hear that anyone is taking Tramadol. One of my Girlfriends is taking it for cramps. She gets it from her mother, who is on worker's comp for a knee injury. So unsafe. I can see that Tramadol change in her too when she takes it. It's so awful. And just last night I had someone at a party ask the group what medication they took for back pain.
I stayed silent and two of the women went on about Tramadol and I literally just felt sick to my stomach. It is funny cause one of those ladies had a mild ... nervous breakdown about a month ago. It was probably her running out of Tramadol actually! Sad. I didn't and won't give anyone the Tramadol is a Dawg from He$$ opinion In Real Life because it's a useless endeavor. They are too busy quoting doctors at me. Telling me how wonderful it is. It's too irritating to have to listen to that nonsense when I know that eventually they will be hooked like I was. They'll probably be HERE reading this soon enough ...
You say, " know what I want and its my life back even though it will never be he same. I lucky to have family to help me through this. I need do do this for myself and not anyone else, which is extremely hard for me since I am a giver. Day three will be better, right?"
You life will be better. Not taking the evil demon pill will help you.
You are a giver (I am too) but learning to accept love and compassion and help is part of a balanced life.
Day three will be better :D
Do you know how you got hooked? I ask cause I know I bought the whole chronic pain thing hook line and sinker! But it was a lie.
Love and healing,
Emily
Fred I salute you in spending so much time here and helping yourself and other :D ... find the people wo have success and do what they did ... a good way to win a war ,,,
That's exactly right. Approach it like a WAR. Beat it to death before it kills you. The amount you were taking is high, but you have detoxed a few times, so alot of this won't be new. But please, allow us to help in any way. Mainly I think just knowing that your life can and will be better without this drug is encouraging.
I'm very sorry to here about your girlfriend and the loss and broken heartedness of that. I was really happy to hear that your Family was coming to pick you up and care for you.
There's temporary relief offered by distraction techniques. Watching comedies, taking baths with mineral salts. I found in the beginning I was too weak for baths so I would use Batherapy Lavender (which has a crazy high amount of minerals in it) as a scrub in a hot shower.
Clean clothes helped alot cause of the sweat. Comfortable.
B-12 sublingual tablets were invaluable to me. They didn't give me energy, they helped calm me down. I assume this was because stress made my system depleted of B Vitamins.
Emergency C packages were great in water. I could not drink straight water. They also now make a pre-prepared vitamin drink. I also drank alot of apple juice.
Imodium AD (specifically the AD) tablets or liquid will calm down the withdrawal. It works with opiates and with this c-r-appola.
Honey helped when I thought I was about to die, or when the Fig descended.
It's amazing that you can not sit still. This is one weird drug.
A heating pad and ice packs are invaluable.
Sleep. Benadryl or Tylenol PM or passionflower, valerian root, hot chamomile tea, listening to calm iPod meditation music helps. I used to strap an ice pack to my right leg (nerve damage) and foot and lay a heating pad across my belly. I remember using all kinds of crazy pillows to prop myself up and try to get comfortable.
You ask, "I know I my wordage is really bad but I can barely see straight. Has anybody every had tremors in their sight."
Yes, for me in early withdrawal I could not read magazines or books, I could barely see the computer. But I am lucky cause I have a laptop and a tray so it was close. I did alot of writing and ranting and there's a bazillion misspelled words, run on sentences .. and so on. It was just; I was so determined to get off the pills. I knew it was going to kill me.
I think it was and is amazing that no one else said anything to me. It was, in retrospect really obvious something crazy was going on with me. I wonder now if anyone thought I was just suffering from chronic pain or if I was on drugs. That's the incredibly annoying part about Tramadol. It's considered so "safe." PPfffttt!!! for me (I speak only for myself here) it was so much easier to get off codeine than Tramadol. Part of that was just that the source ran out. Cause codeine is considered "dangerous."
It's so awful now for me to hear that anyone is taking Tramadol. One of my Girlfriends is taking it for cramps. She gets it from her mother, who is on worker's comp for a knee injury. So unsafe. I can see that Tramadol change in her too when she takes it. It's so awful. And just last night I had someone at a party ask the group what medication they took for back pain.
I stayed silent and two of the women went on about Tramadol and I literally just felt sick to my stomach. It is funny cause one of those ladies had a mild ... nervous breakdown about a month ago. It was probably her running out of Tramadol actually! Sad. I didn't and won't give anyone the Tramadol is a Dawg from He$$ opinion In Real Life because it's a useless endeavor. They are too busy quoting doctors at me. Telling me how wonderful it is. It's too irritating to have to listen to that nonsense when I know that eventually they will be hooked like I was. They'll probably be HERE reading this soon enough ...
You say, " know what I want and its my life back even though it will never be he same. I lucky to have family to help me through this. I need do do this for myself and not anyone else, which is extremely hard for me since I am a giver. Day three will be better, right?"
You life will be better. Not taking the evil demon pill will help you.
You are a giver (I am too) but learning to accept love and compassion and help is part of a balanced life.
Day three will be better :D
Do you know how you got hooked? I ask cause I know I bought the whole chronic pain thing hook line and sinker! But it was a lie.
Love and healing,
Emily
Fred I salute you in spending so much time here and helping yourself and other :D ... find the people wo have success and do what they did ... a good way to win a war ,,,
Oh (((shaffeki))),
I read your post and FEEL for you. I have little advice to offer as the others have done it so well, except to
agree absolutely with the diversional ideas - LOTS of videos. I also listen to recorded books, which takes very little effort if they are light and 'a good read'. And if you have a dog or cat, cuddle them lots! In my bad times my cats snuggle round me and it feels lovely.
I am battling physically due to my chronic illness as well as withdrawal, but am down to under 50mg. The BIG one was coming down from 200mg to 100. It really is all downhill from here.
I took my unused 100mg tablets (all 60 of them) to the pharmacy this morning, for disposal (we are encouraged to do that in Aus, rather than just chuck them out). It felt like a ceremony.
Celebrate the achievments... despise the drug!!!!
Peace and strength,
Sue
I read your post and FEEL for you. I have little advice to offer as the others have done it so well, except to
agree absolutely with the diversional ideas - LOTS of videos. I also listen to recorded books, which takes very little effort if they are light and 'a good read'. And if you have a dog or cat, cuddle them lots! In my bad times my cats snuggle round me and it feels lovely.
I am battling physically due to my chronic illness as well as withdrawal, but am down to under 50mg. The BIG one was coming down from 200mg to 100. It really is all downhill from here.
I took my unused 100mg tablets (all 60 of them) to the pharmacy this morning, for disposal (we are encouraged to do that in Aus, rather than just chuck them out). It felt like a ceremony.
Celebrate the achievments... despise the drug!!!!
Peace and strength,
Sue
Okay, I am up early for WORK today. Took EP's suggestion to allow extra "coffee" time before facing my job, so what the heck, I may as well rant while I drink my java.
I slept really well last night - Yay. If you are in early withdrawal - there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Those sleepless nights and phantom pins and needles in the limbs will pass. Don't give up or you will miss the miracle.
THAT miracle finds me this morning WITHOUT ANY pain in my surgical site...or in the VAST other areas of my body that sweemed to increase over the six years I was taking tramadol regularly.
How could THIS drug CAUSE pain? Truth be told, while I was on tramadol, I actually thought that my entire body was going down hill fast AND that tramadol told me that it was saving me from what I considered to be a really high # of areas of my body that were going painfully ballistic. And as those wierd pains increased in number and multiplied, I simply complained about my hip pain to my M.D...cause THAT pain was real (I thought)...forget all the other places in my body that were mushrooming in pain. I kept it simple when talking with my doc. More tramadol please for the hip pain.
But over the years, I was requiring more and more tram to combat what I thought was not only an increasing hip pain, but to all those other pain sites, which had developed throughout my body. Truth be told, I thought I had developed fibromyalgia...and the drug told me that I was SO LUCKY to know it...so lucky...that it was on my side...so fortunate to have tramadol to cover all of these new painful areas in my body.
EACH of us thinks we are terminally unique. That our experience is unique to ourselves. But I believe that if we stick around long enough, we will hear someone else's story and realize it is identical to our own. Someone read my story recently and shared that it was EXACTLY her story. Down to the counting of pills, the monthly withdrawals, and the searching for pills in places one tiny 50 mg pill could have hidden.
FAST forward to today...
FAST forward through that terrible physical withdrawal I have experienced over the last week.
FAST forward past telling tramadol...that it had to go.
FAST forward through the sleepless nights and pins and needles and the FLU like symptoms all throughout my body.
FAST forward past the "I can't bear this another minute" thoughts.
I nearly missed the miracle. Withdrawl is so ugly and hard.
Tramadol tried to keep me and didn't want me to know...
...the LIE it held over me all these years
was just a lie.
The MIRACLE is that all those places in my body - where tramadol told me I had GOOD reason to to continue my relationship with THAT drug - no longer hurt today.
The MIRACLE is that my body is getting well again.
The MIRACLE is that I no longer have the pains that tramadol told me were reasons to increase the # of pills i needed through all those years to feel NOT UNWELL.
I use the phrase, "not unwell" a LOT. I know that it's a double negative. I know that NOT UNWELL really could be construed to mean "well". Except taht I really never felt WELL on this drug. When I consider how my body cried out for MORE AND MORE tramadol over those six years I was "on" tramadol, I can't bring myself to say that tramadol made me well. Cause that would be giving "credit status" to something that IT does not deserve. Tramadol did not make me WELL. It made me unwell. So the best and highest praise i can offer is that I thought it was making me "not unwell". And even that is FAR more credit than it deserves.
Indeed, tramadol did NOT make me well all those years. Indeed, it told me I was going to the dogs, that I could not possibly endure the mounting pain while on the drug if i did not take more and more if it. And so the best I can say is that I thought it was making me NOT UNWELL. And that is the BEST product endorsement I can make...I thought it made me NOT UNWELL.
So warriors, if you are fighting today - just fight a little longer and peace will come. Just a little longer and your body will know the truth - that THIS drug has been lying to you all these years, for fear you will leave it.
Don't give in to it's lies. Yet a little longer and you will know the truth. THIS drug did you no favors. It only wanted to possess you. And as my body is becoming RID of this EVIL drug, I can now see now that there are a whole lot better things to be possessed by - or rmaybe none at all.
Emily talked yesterday about friends she knows "in real life" who still think t is the cats meow. I know some of those people too. And my breathe won't be wasted either on attempting to convince them that tramadol is anything but the miracle drug they think that it is.
Nobody arrived at this site because they thought tramadol was still working for them. We found it because we KNEW it was turning on us and we sought help by doing searches with sweet descriptive phrases in the "search machine" (for you Emily!) like "addicted tramadol" , "withdrawal tramadol", "painful tramadol" and "cold turkey tramadol" .
SAVE this site as a favorite. You have arrived at the last house on the block. You need to find yourway back.
Talk about how you are feeling here. Even if you think we are raging crazy, tell us about that.
Share your victories and defeats.
Now I am off to try my NON-tramadol brain at work. Wish we luck. It's still frightening to put my yet foggy slow brain up against those who have not known this EVIL. But others here tell me it can be done...and so far, I have no reason to doubt how others found their way...from the last house on the block, to a brave new world.
Courage and strength to you all. Fred
I slept really well last night - Yay. If you are in early withdrawal - there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Those sleepless nights and phantom pins and needles in the limbs will pass. Don't give up or you will miss the miracle.
THAT miracle finds me this morning WITHOUT ANY pain in my surgical site...or in the VAST other areas of my body that sweemed to increase over the six years I was taking tramadol regularly.
How could THIS drug CAUSE pain? Truth be told, while I was on tramadol, I actually thought that my entire body was going down hill fast AND that tramadol told me that it was saving me from what I considered to be a really high # of areas of my body that were going painfully ballistic. And as those wierd pains increased in number and multiplied, I simply complained about my hip pain to my M.D...cause THAT pain was real (I thought)...forget all the other places in my body that were mushrooming in pain. I kept it simple when talking with my doc. More tramadol please for the hip pain.
But over the years, I was requiring more and more tram to combat what I thought was not only an increasing hip pain, but to all those other pain sites, which had developed throughout my body. Truth be told, I thought I had developed fibromyalgia...and the drug told me that I was SO LUCKY to know it...so lucky...that it was on my side...so fortunate to have tramadol to cover all of these new painful areas in my body.
EACH of us thinks we are terminally unique. That our experience is unique to ourselves. But I believe that if we stick around long enough, we will hear someone else's story and realize it is identical to our own. Someone read my story recently and shared that it was EXACTLY her story. Down to the counting of pills, the monthly withdrawals, and the searching for pills in places one tiny 50 mg pill could have hidden.
FAST forward to today...
FAST forward through that terrible physical withdrawal I have experienced over the last week.
FAST forward past telling tramadol...that it had to go.
FAST forward through the sleepless nights and pins and needles and the FLU like symptoms all throughout my body.
FAST forward past the "I can't bear this another minute" thoughts.
I nearly missed the miracle. Withdrawl is so ugly and hard.
Tramadol tried to keep me and didn't want me to know...
...the LIE it held over me all these years
was just a lie.
The MIRACLE is that all those places in my body - where tramadol told me I had GOOD reason to to continue my relationship with THAT drug - no longer hurt today.
The MIRACLE is that my body is getting well again.
The MIRACLE is that I no longer have the pains that tramadol told me were reasons to increase the # of pills i needed through all those years to feel NOT UNWELL.
I use the phrase, "not unwell" a LOT. I know that it's a double negative. I know that NOT UNWELL really could be construed to mean "well". Except taht I really never felt WELL on this drug. When I consider how my body cried out for MORE AND MORE tramadol over those six years I was "on" tramadol, I can't bring myself to say that tramadol made me well. Cause that would be giving "credit status" to something that IT does not deserve. Tramadol did not make me WELL. It made me unwell. So the best and highest praise i can offer is that I thought it was making me "not unwell". And even that is FAR more credit than it deserves.
Indeed, tramadol did NOT make me well all those years. Indeed, it told me I was going to the dogs, that I could not possibly endure the mounting pain while on the drug if i did not take more and more if it. And so the best I can say is that I thought it was making me NOT UNWELL. And that is the BEST product endorsement I can make...I thought it made me NOT UNWELL.
So warriors, if you are fighting today - just fight a little longer and peace will come. Just a little longer and your body will know the truth - that THIS drug has been lying to you all these years, for fear you will leave it.
Don't give in to it's lies. Yet a little longer and you will know the truth. THIS drug did you no favors. It only wanted to possess you. And as my body is becoming RID of this EVIL drug, I can now see now that there are a whole lot better things to be possessed by - or rmaybe none at all.
Emily talked yesterday about friends she knows "in real life" who still think t is the cats meow. I know some of those people too. And my breathe won't be wasted either on attempting to convince them that tramadol is anything but the miracle drug they think that it is.
Nobody arrived at this site because they thought tramadol was still working for them. We found it because we KNEW it was turning on us and we sought help by doing searches with sweet descriptive phrases in the "search machine" (for you Emily!) like "addicted tramadol" , "withdrawal tramadol", "painful tramadol" and "cold turkey tramadol" .
SAVE this site as a favorite. You have arrived at the last house on the block. You need to find yourway back.
Talk about how you are feeling here. Even if you think we are raging crazy, tell us about that.
Share your victories and defeats.
Now I am off to try my NON-tramadol brain at work. Wish we luck. It's still frightening to put my yet foggy slow brain up against those who have not known this EVIL. But others here tell me it can be done...and so far, I have no reason to doubt how others found their way...from the last house on the block, to a brave new world.
Courage and strength to you all. Fred
Fred,
Good luck to you at work today, I am anxious to hear how the day goes and how you feel. I am trying to time my "tramadol vacation" so that the day I come back to work is as painless as possible. This means I am going to move up my start date to accomodate that first work day. Since the week of Christmas is usually pretty light around the office and my boss will be gone, I am thinking about taking my last pill on Friday the 19th, making Saturday the 20th day 1. I will go back to work on Monday the 21st through Wednesday the 24th, which would be days 3-5. Is this a mistake? I want to make the time at my in-laws as pleasant as possible, which means I will be on days 6-9, returning to work on Monday Dec. 29th, which would be Day 10. What do you think about this plan Fred. (or anyone else out there that wants to weigh in) I am both scared and excited at the same time. Scared because I am feeling really good right now because I am back on my T cycle, but excited because of all of the posts on here recently saying how wonderful it is once you are off. I have purchased everything I need for the withdrawals I think, but still would like to know from people that tried to cover up the symptoms with other drugs if they then had withdrawals when they stopped the cover-up drugs? I know it would be best to not use any drugs but I just cannot do that unfortunately. I am hoping my plan is a good one, once I set the course I know I will stick to it because that is just how I am. But I want to make sure it is a good plan before I begin it.
Thank you to all who are so wonderful and supportive on this forum,
Matt
Good luck to you at work today, I am anxious to hear how the day goes and how you feel. I am trying to time my "tramadol vacation" so that the day I come back to work is as painless as possible. This means I am going to move up my start date to accomodate that first work day. Since the week of Christmas is usually pretty light around the office and my boss will be gone, I am thinking about taking my last pill on Friday the 19th, making Saturday the 20th day 1. I will go back to work on Monday the 21st through Wednesday the 24th, which would be days 3-5. Is this a mistake? I want to make the time at my in-laws as pleasant as possible, which means I will be on days 6-9, returning to work on Monday Dec. 29th, which would be Day 10. What do you think about this plan Fred. (or anyone else out there that wants to weigh in) I am both scared and excited at the same time. Scared because I am feeling really good right now because I am back on my T cycle, but excited because of all of the posts on here recently saying how wonderful it is once you are off. I have purchased everything I need for the withdrawals I think, but still would like to know from people that tried to cover up the symptoms with other drugs if they then had withdrawals when they stopped the cover-up drugs? I know it would be best to not use any drugs but I just cannot do that unfortunately. I am hoping my plan is a good one, once I set the course I know I will stick to it because that is just how I am. But I want to make sure it is a good plan before I begin it.
Thank you to all who are so wonderful and supportive on this forum,
Matt
Hello Tramadol Warriors!
For me Matt. days 1-3 were the worst. BUT if you have an office slow down, your boss will be gone, it sounds solid. If you can basically do your job by looking busy, and maybe people will think you have the flu, it would be good. Because then when you come back to work, you will be thru a very rough spot.
Does everyone know that you're coming off Tramadol or is it a secret? You Family, your wife I mean? Obviously not your coworkers ...
The cover up drugs. You asked once before if you would experience the full withdrawal from Tramadol after you stopped the xyz? I doubt it. The Thomas Recipe aka The Thomas Detox calls for a Benzo. Usually klonopin. I had klonopin because they gave me klonopin to deal with side effects from Tramadol. This now seems completely crazy, but the whole experience was a nightmare. I am tapering off Klonopin very slowly (as you have to with a Benzo or you can have un pleasantries like death ...)
Anyhow I had meds that were supposed to "ease" Tramadol withdrawal. They might have helped? Soma, and codeine. Did I get addicted? No. But I am tapering klonopin. I really can't imagine doing it again. I thought I was going to die. The things you need for withdrawal will help you.
It's GREAT that you have a plan and have executed the plan. For me Imodium AD didn't work against w/d pain unless I took a sizeable dose. Way more than is recommended. And I'm a woman and small ... so ....
There's really no easy way. No kinder softer way.
I don't know if you'd get addicted to the other opiates or things you use to make a Tramadol withdrawal easier .... I think deep down, you probably know the answer to that question.
Yes, life w/o Tramadol is soooo much less painful. I just did not realize how much time, energy and $$ this little devil was stealing from me. The amount of havoc and discord it caused is amazing. It stole from me and wasted my time.
I never ever bought into the idea that I would need an antidepressant to treat post Tramadol depression. It seemed like ... in my bones ... my being itself rejected the idea that I was in a depression that was brought about by anything EXCEPT the Tramadol leaving my bones, my joints, my brains ... I waited and the depression vanished. I'm also not saying that my way is the only way. It was just; my way.
Ok Matt you asked, ..."....but still would like to know from people that tried to cover up the symptoms with other drugs if they then had withdrawals when they stopped the cover-up drugs?"
As I mentioned I used Soma and Codeine and klonopin. I didn't find them amazingly helpful except the klonopin. What I did find helpful was Excedrin Migraine when I had to go to work. And regular Excedrin helped with pain. I was a bit amazed an Over the counter helped more than any narcotics or muscle relaxants. Physical medicine, heat and ice and muscle rubs. Hot tea, hot baths, Epsom salts ... Biofreeze ...
Just knowing you'll have the time set forth to do this Matt comforts me alot and makes me think you'll be a success.
Fred really is right. Tramadol doesn't help. It actually causes a whole miracle of NEW and more horrifying problems ... while being told by everyone around you that it is the Bees Knees and not addictive... blah blah blah ....
Anyhow Matt I am so proud of you for enacting a Tramadol Vacation! Seriously I promise your life is about to get a whole lot better!!
Good job FRED! Good Luck today! I'll be sending you happy healthy vibes ... hoping yu have lots of stuff with you to help you thru your day. I will say this; my brain was all whacked out bit once I was around people; it did help me ...
By the way I am still laughing about the extra 10K laying around for going to rehab. I mean, laughing in that sort sick and wrong way. What this country has done to people amazes and disgusts me. The heathcare reform ... needs to come asap.
Until then; let's help one another with compassion and understanding.
Love and Health,
Emily
For me Matt. days 1-3 were the worst. BUT if you have an office slow down, your boss will be gone, it sounds solid. If you can basically do your job by looking busy, and maybe people will think you have the flu, it would be good. Because then when you come back to work, you will be thru a very rough spot.
Does everyone know that you're coming off Tramadol or is it a secret? You Family, your wife I mean? Obviously not your coworkers ...
The cover up drugs. You asked once before if you would experience the full withdrawal from Tramadol after you stopped the xyz? I doubt it. The Thomas Recipe aka The Thomas Detox calls for a Benzo. Usually klonopin. I had klonopin because they gave me klonopin to deal with side effects from Tramadol. This now seems completely crazy, but the whole experience was a nightmare. I am tapering off Klonopin very slowly (as you have to with a Benzo or you can have un pleasantries like death ...)
Anyhow I had meds that were supposed to "ease" Tramadol withdrawal. They might have helped? Soma, and codeine. Did I get addicted? No. But I am tapering klonopin. I really can't imagine doing it again. I thought I was going to die. The things you need for withdrawal will help you.
It's GREAT that you have a plan and have executed the plan. For me Imodium AD didn't work against w/d pain unless I took a sizeable dose. Way more than is recommended. And I'm a woman and small ... so ....
There's really no easy way. No kinder softer way.
I don't know if you'd get addicted to the other opiates or things you use to make a Tramadol withdrawal easier .... I think deep down, you probably know the answer to that question.
Yes, life w/o Tramadol is soooo much less painful. I just did not realize how much time, energy and $$ this little devil was stealing from me. The amount of havoc and discord it caused is amazing. It stole from me and wasted my time.
I never ever bought into the idea that I would need an antidepressant to treat post Tramadol depression. It seemed like ... in my bones ... my being itself rejected the idea that I was in a depression that was brought about by anything EXCEPT the Tramadol leaving my bones, my joints, my brains ... I waited and the depression vanished. I'm also not saying that my way is the only way. It was just; my way.
Ok Matt you asked, ..."....but still would like to know from people that tried to cover up the symptoms with other drugs if they then had withdrawals when they stopped the cover-up drugs?"
As I mentioned I used Soma and Codeine and klonopin. I didn't find them amazingly helpful except the klonopin. What I did find helpful was Excedrin Migraine when I had to go to work. And regular Excedrin helped with pain. I was a bit amazed an Over the counter helped more than any narcotics or muscle relaxants. Physical medicine, heat and ice and muscle rubs. Hot tea, hot baths, Epsom salts ... Biofreeze ...
Just knowing you'll have the time set forth to do this Matt comforts me alot and makes me think you'll be a success.
Fred really is right. Tramadol doesn't help. It actually causes a whole miracle of NEW and more horrifying problems ... while being told by everyone around you that it is the Bees Knees and not addictive... blah blah blah ....
Anyhow Matt I am so proud of you for enacting a Tramadol Vacation! Seriously I promise your life is about to get a whole lot better!!
Good job FRED! Good Luck today! I'll be sending you happy healthy vibes ... hoping yu have lots of stuff with you to help you thru your day. I will say this; my brain was all whacked out bit once I was around people; it did help me ...
By the way I am still laughing about the extra 10K laying around for going to rehab. I mean, laughing in that sort sick and wrong way. What this country has done to people amazes and disgusts me. The heathcare reform ... needs to come asap.
Until then; let's help one another with compassion and understanding.
Love and Health,
Emily
Matt, Okay, so you are going to laugh at this, but I work in the office at the other end of our house (I generally telecommute). So I "went to work" at 8 this morning after spending a longer than usual "wake up" time per Emily's suggestion. I saved this site as a favorite on my "other/work " computer as well, but since I work for a large corporation, I am reluctant to post using it, if you know what I mean. So after noticing your and Emily's notese, when lunch time rolled around, I walked to the otther end of the house, and logged on to my personal computer in our kitchen to write you this note. Hey,I do get a lunch break (wink wink).
Before getting into the "work affects" of withdrawl I do want to affirm that based on my singular experience with this withdrawal stuff, if you are planning your visit to the in laws on days 6-9, you will be the "perfect" son-in-law and what a great time to vist them. You shouldn't be loosing sleep by day 6, you shouldn't have any gut wrenching stomach pains, you shouldn't have those lovely "pins and needles" n your feet and your body won't feel like you got hit by a Mack truck. So you will feel GREAT, albeit foggy, but you can simply smile and move about as they instruct you. You will be the PERFECT house guest - no physical ailments and no brain either! (I am kidding you a bit here)
You would be the best judge of how lousy you want to feel going to work on the 2nd day of withdrawal. Oh I suspect I could have sat at my desk, told people I had the flu, called clients, sent work emails, etc., but I would not have been effective or efficient in anything. Basically, the amount of sleep that I operated on those first days made me entirely worthless.
I read Emily's note posted recently, where she said, "BUT if you have an office slow down, your boss will be gone, it sounds solid. If you can basically do your job by looking busy, and maybe people will think you have the flu, it would be good. Because then when you come back to work, you will be thru a very rough spot. " I would probably agree, with the wild card being that you really need to get SOME sleep the night before working or you will feel like...you hadn't sleep (I have a treemendous grapse of the obvious heh heh heh.
I didn't take Klonopin but I did have some Gabapentin, which I mentioned before, which a doctor had presecribed when she reduced the 8 tram/day that i had been on for years to 6 pills/day last month. AT the time, I thought she was cold and heartless for expecting me to reduce the tramadol I was on, but they did come in handy as I began my silly drastic "taper" five days before I stopped. Of course, I'm not a doctor, but I think you are wise to use something or your feet will have you up and down from bed like the woman who reported being up 47 times a night!
For sleep, I just used Tylenol PMs plus trazadone, which is technically an anti-depressant, but which I have been taking at bedtime for five years to knock me out.
In summary, I like your plan to detox/withdraw while @ work first, given what you said about the office being slow that week and then showing up at the in-laws feeling much better for Christmas. But if you think you expect yourself or if others are expecting you to be productive trhos efirst few days and if you think you will be ANYTHING more than a pretty face sitting at a desk, forget it. (You didn't like my idea of detoxing at their house and being the misserable son-in-law, huh? I can't blame you.)
I have already mentioned that I am feeling great today, so I won't rehash all that now, except to say that all of that pain which I used to feel IS ENTIRELY GONE.
But the work thing this morning...arrrrg.
You probably wouldn't have known it, but I expect a great deal of myself. I am WAY TYPE A. And I was off for over a week (withThanksgiving) so I had hundreds of emails to begin to review as well as all of the other correspondence, phone messages, PROBLEMS that came in while I was away.
So how did I do? Well, for starters, my vision is pretty blurry. I hadn't really paid much attention to that when I was on my "tramadol vacation", but with the pressure on one's work, my vision thing is a problem.
The other work complaint is that my mind is in a bit of a fog and I often find myself reading something and realizing that I couldn't recall what I had been reading. NOT good. But I was hearted by your note and Emily's sweet, "I'll be sending you happy healthy vibes" comment.
I might try and get back to your quesions tonight after work Matt. I know that this is important to you and I sense you will succeed. You are wise to plan ahead.
Hi Ho Hi Ho back to work and all that. Cheers.
Before getting into the "work affects" of withdrawl I do want to affirm that based on my singular experience with this withdrawal stuff, if you are planning your visit to the in laws on days 6-9, you will be the "perfect" son-in-law and what a great time to vist them. You shouldn't be loosing sleep by day 6, you shouldn't have any gut wrenching stomach pains, you shouldn't have those lovely "pins and needles" n your feet and your body won't feel like you got hit by a Mack truck. So you will feel GREAT, albeit foggy, but you can simply smile and move about as they instruct you. You will be the PERFECT house guest - no physical ailments and no brain either! (I am kidding you a bit here)
You would be the best judge of how lousy you want to feel going to work on the 2nd day of withdrawal. Oh I suspect I could have sat at my desk, told people I had the flu, called clients, sent work emails, etc., but I would not have been effective or efficient in anything. Basically, the amount of sleep that I operated on those first days made me entirely worthless.
I read Emily's note posted recently, where she said, "BUT if you have an office slow down, your boss will be gone, it sounds solid. If you can basically do your job by looking busy, and maybe people will think you have the flu, it would be good. Because then when you come back to work, you will be thru a very rough spot. " I would probably agree, with the wild card being that you really need to get SOME sleep the night before working or you will feel like...you hadn't sleep (I have a treemendous grapse of the obvious heh heh heh.
I didn't take Klonopin but I did have some Gabapentin, which I mentioned before, which a doctor had presecribed when she reduced the 8 tram/day that i had been on for years to 6 pills/day last month. AT the time, I thought she was cold and heartless for expecting me to reduce the tramadol I was on, but they did come in handy as I began my silly drastic "taper" five days before I stopped. Of course, I'm not a doctor, but I think you are wise to use something or your feet will have you up and down from bed like the woman who reported being up 47 times a night!
For sleep, I just used Tylenol PMs plus trazadone, which is technically an anti-depressant, but which I have been taking at bedtime for five years to knock me out.
In summary, I like your plan to detox/withdraw while @ work first, given what you said about the office being slow that week and then showing up at the in-laws feeling much better for Christmas. But if you think you expect yourself or if others are expecting you to be productive trhos efirst few days and if you think you will be ANYTHING more than a pretty face sitting at a desk, forget it. (You didn't like my idea of detoxing at their house and being the misserable son-in-law, huh? I can't blame you.)
I have already mentioned that I am feeling great today, so I won't rehash all that now, except to say that all of that pain which I used to feel IS ENTIRELY GONE.
But the work thing this morning...arrrrg.
You probably wouldn't have known it, but I expect a great deal of myself. I am WAY TYPE A. And I was off for over a week (withThanksgiving) so I had hundreds of emails to begin to review as well as all of the other correspondence, phone messages, PROBLEMS that came in while I was away.
So how did I do? Well, for starters, my vision is pretty blurry. I hadn't really paid much attention to that when I was on my "tramadol vacation", but with the pressure on one's work, my vision thing is a problem.
The other work complaint is that my mind is in a bit of a fog and I often find myself reading something and realizing that I couldn't recall what I had been reading. NOT good. But I was hearted by your note and Emily's sweet, "I'll be sending you happy healthy vibes" comment.
I might try and get back to your quesions tonight after work Matt. I know that this is important to you and I sense you will succeed. You are wise to plan ahead.
Hi Ho Hi Ho back to work and all that. Cheers.
Hi, I just found this journal by typing "Tramadol Withdraw" into Google. A quick background with myself and Tramadol. I have been taking it for about 3-4 months. I know, that's not a very long time but the last 2 months I was taking hi doses at or around 8-10 50mg instant release tabs a day. I finally realized last week that I was addicted to Tramadol. I realized this when I didn't take any at all one day and the next day I had hot flashes and vomited. After I vomited I took 4 Tramadol and a hour later felt better. This past Friday I broke down and told my Fiance what had happened. I actually cried to her because I was so depressed and felt so lonely. She immediately comforted me and told me that we would get through this together. Just by her saying that made me feel better for a split second. I am also in the process of weaning off Benzos which I was only taking for 6 months at most 1.5mg a day of xanax. I am down to 2.5mg diazapam in the morning and 2.5mg at night. We went to GNC on Saturday and got some vitamins including. B12 sub-lingual tabs, Saint Johns Wart, Multi Vitamin and a 7 day flush. Each one is helping just a little bit in there own way. It is now day 3 and I still feel like **** but finally mustered the strength to go out to my doctor and tell him my issue and he believed me that the Tramadol is causing this withdraw. I told him I did not want any more medication that would help me with depression because I do not want to be on medications anymore that were forced down my throat by a previous doctor. I told my Fiance I wanted to go to church with her this past Sunday, in which I haven't been to in about 3 years. I was looking for something to believe in. The withdraw has taken over my past 3 days. While in church I felt normal for 1 hour. It was great. When we left my Fiance looked at me and said. " I prayed for you the whole time while we were there". That brought a tear to my eye and I told her I am glad she is there for me. I am a athletic 27 y/o male who is a Firefighter in a big metropolitan city and felt that I was invincible to dependence. This experience has shown me that I am not.
I am glad I found this website because it has shown me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it gets here in time for Christmas.
I would also like to contribute some helpful information my Dr. told me. He said that in the winter months some people can feel worse than in the spring and summer because of a deficiency of vitamin D3. It is a vitamin that is absorbed through UV rays. He told me to go lay in a tanning bed for 15 min. after I left his office. Well I did and I came out feeling a lot better. I even had enough energy to take a 1/2 mile jog around the neighborhood.
Is there any advice anyone else can give that I am already not doing? Also how long do you guys think these withdraw effects will last? Your information is greatly appreciated.
I am glad I found this website because it has shown me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it gets here in time for Christmas.
I would also like to contribute some helpful information my Dr. told me. He said that in the winter months some people can feel worse than in the spring and summer because of a deficiency of vitamin D3. It is a vitamin that is absorbed through UV rays. He told me to go lay in a tanning bed for 15 min. after I left his office. Well I did and I came out feeling a lot better. I even had enough energy to take a 1/2 mile jog around the neighborhood.
Is there any advice anyone else can give that I am already not doing? Also how long do you guys think these withdraw effects will last? Your information is greatly appreciated.
I know nobody has replied yet but I just wanted to add a great find my Dr. just called me about. It's a vitamin called L-theanine. you can read about it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theanine
It increases brain serotonin, dopamine, GABA levels.
It increases brain serotonin, dopamine, GABA levels.
this is such an inspiring place! i've only posted here once but read often. at the worst i was taking 20 - 50mgs a day. all of the time i spent thinking about my refills and what if i run out, etc etc. i went the taper route and the last time i took a tramadol was 5 days ago. got down to 5 a day for a week, then 3, then 1. i never thought i'd be free of it, every time i started cold turkey i couldn't function well enough to work.
i can't even imagine the thought of taking that ever again, it sickens me. i'm angry at all of the $ spent, all of the time lost and how apathetic i've been!
i have been taking l-tyrosine daily and that seems to help alot. i know i'm not myself yet but every day i feel a little more of me coming back. i am so grateful for not having that ball and chain hanging on to me. such a heavy weight off the shoulders.
thank you to everyone here who writes, it's been a real inspiration for me to do this. what an evil, evil thing that tramadol is! i even dislike typing that word!!!
i can't even imagine the thought of taking that ever again, it sickens me. i'm angry at all of the $ spent, all of the time lost and how apathetic i've been!
i have been taking l-tyrosine daily and that seems to help alot. i know i'm not myself yet but every day i feel a little more of me coming back. i am so grateful for not having that ball and chain hanging on to me. such a heavy weight off the shoulders.
thank you to everyone here who writes, it's been a real inspiration for me to do this. what an evil, evil thing that tramadol is! i even dislike typing that word!!!
Haven't heard about the l-theanine but it sounds like it would help, i'm using l-tyrosine, it seems there are a number of amino acids that are helpful.
buggyboo,
i don't know, but i'm not sure how safe cold turkey is if you're pregnant, i'm kind of surprised your doc just told u to stop taking it. i'd think he would want to closely monitor your withdrawal and maybe have u taper quickly but taper none the less.
wishing u and the little one all the best :) stick around here for inspiration!
i don't know, but i'm not sure how safe cold turkey is if you're pregnant, i'm kind of surprised your doc just told u to stop taking it. i'd think he would want to closely monitor your withdrawal and maybe have u taper quickly but taper none the less.
wishing u and the little one all the best :) stick around here for inspiration!
fred, i have been wondering how you came out today. glad to hear about the home office. i tried to be officially in my home office as well and failed miserably. you have been sounding so chipper that in comparison i thought you were in much better shape than me. the good news for newbies is the extreme horribleness is pretty much gone by day 6, the bad news for me is that i can't think. no brain at all. can't function on the mental plain of reading and absorbing and making decisions. i am going to have to back waaay off my expectations of myself. i would like to be working actually. not working, besides the money stress, gives me too much time to think about my life and my mistakes and etc, etc, etc. so i guess you could say there is a depressive factor here. i found my jigsaw puzzle in the kitchen very comforting today. on the way in there to get some more vitamins i would pass it and stop and spend 30 minutes resting my personality. just go nowhere for a while. this was day 12. i did go to the gym. it wasn't too bad. doing that makes your symptoms go away for about an hour i have found.
someone told me that hylands did not work for the restless legs. she said she followed the instructions on the bottle. well, i really was remiss in not saying that you have to keep taking them every few minutes until the rls leaves. just chew away, take half the bottle, take the whole bottle. mine left that night and did not come back. its homeopathic so its not a drug. completely safe.
and i think NOT UNWELL is a perfect discription of what a good day is like for T withdrawal. not unwell is great.
fireman, that is so much better that your fiancee is in this with you. yeah, exercise is your greatest help in withdrawal if you can force yourself to do it.
emily, is your brain back? when did it come back?
this is the last house on the block. yeah.
i am so glad you guys are here.
someone told me that hylands did not work for the restless legs. she said she followed the instructions on the bottle. well, i really was remiss in not saying that you have to keep taking them every few minutes until the rls leaves. just chew away, take half the bottle, take the whole bottle. mine left that night and did not come back. its homeopathic so its not a drug. completely safe.
and i think NOT UNWELL is a perfect discription of what a good day is like for T withdrawal. not unwell is great.
fireman, that is so much better that your fiancee is in this with you. yeah, exercise is your greatest help in withdrawal if you can force yourself to do it.
emily, is your brain back? when did it come back?
this is the last house on the block. yeah.
i am so glad you guys are here.
every time i think that i am over this thing and i can go on with my life, i am brought up short, and turn back to this forum to touch base with the only people who truly understand. it is truly a profound thing that we are doing, or have done. i got a note from phantomgirl who is freaking out , in overwhelm and discouragement. it tried to direct her here but it isn't exactly easy to describe how to find it.
fred, i never thought to check comments on my posts here. can i find that somewhere?
i realize i went through this detox last january and i didn't even know it. i had surgery and was taking opiates. the doctor couldn't understand why i had so much trouble with pain. the whole experience was nightmarish and now i know why. of course i innocently got back on T not realizing what i was doing. starting up the addiction again. jeeeeez.
for me , there is a nightmare quality to this wd . not just the physical symptoms but it's like an aura. there is hope too, and good stuff , like i am not just disintegrating and going down the tubes, it is the T doing that.
you guys, try to contact phantomgirl. she sounds like she needs support right now.
fred, i never thought to check comments on my posts here. can i find that somewhere?
i realize i went through this detox last january and i didn't even know it. i had surgery and was taking opiates. the doctor couldn't understand why i had so much trouble with pain. the whole experience was nightmarish and now i know why. of course i innocently got back on T not realizing what i was doing. starting up the addiction again. jeeeeez.
for me , there is a nightmare quality to this wd . not just the physical symptoms but it's like an aura. there is hope too, and good stuff , like i am not just disintegrating and going down the tubes, it is the T doing that.
you guys, try to contact phantomgirl. she sounds like she needs support right now.
Fireman, I am sorry this is so late getting to you. I know first hand how important it is to hear back from someone else in those early days.
WELCOME to our world my friend. I will get to a couple of your questions in a moment, but I do want to make a couple of general housekeeping suggestions.
First - if you haven't already saved this to your favorites yet, take a moment and do so now. I had such a hard time finding it the second time when I tried to get back here - and as you know the WAY back is litered with dozens of sites that none of us needs to look at.
Let me explain why I seem a bit compulsive about making sure people can find their way back here by saving the site to their favorites.
TRUTH: Before I had decided what I intended to do about my addiction, I had visited but not posted to this site once two weeks ago. A few days later, I searched for "tramadol withdrawal" again and dozens of sites offering to sell me pills without a prescription popped up. I was unable to locate this site right off again. While in over six years I had never bought tramadol on line, I was running low (go figure!) and I thought I ought to cover the bases and seek both help and at the same time make sure I had a nice supply of this evil drug on hand. SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT MY BEST THINKING not doing me any favors?
So I filled out the on line order and then arrived on this site. Some minutes later, as I began pouring over enties at this site I had my first sense that recovery MAY be possible. I have to admit, by that time I was having mixed feelings about what I had just done moments before I found this site for the second time.
As I was reviewing these posts, I noticed I had a new email in my inbox. I toggled over and I found an email from the the on line supplier I had just placed my tramadol order with. They wre notifying me that my request for 180 pills because in my tramadol stuppor, I had included everythign but my master card account # and my order was being REJECTED! Over the next day, i receivfed three phone calls and two more emails letting me know tht they watned to fill my order despitee by taht time, I had told them verbally and emailed them that I (by taht time) was no longer interested. Looking back now, I see this as the first miracle that in a way, has lead to my recovery. So if I seem a little preoccupied with making sure that new folks here save this site to their favorites, you now have the rest of my story.
Second: I have concerns that some people new to this site are missing the "meat" of the message of hope and battle, by not checking out Emily's journal enties. She has great links to oteh sites as wll as a list of supplies to help in your recovery. Click on her ICONnext to one of her posts and you will be redirected to her journal entries. I am certain she doesn't mind us reading these and in fact, they have proven INVALUABLE TO MY RECOVERY.
Third: Consider beginning your own journal entries. Distraction: I did this when I began this fight myself and if nothing else, it kept me busy so my mind was not fighting with it's self and it helped time to pass.
I'll get off my dime soap box and I will try to address your post. You said, "I have been taking it for about 3-4 months. I know, that's not a very long time but the last 2 months I was taking hi doses at or around 8-10 50mg instant release tabs a day. I finally realized last week that I was addicted to Tramadol. I realized this when I didn't take any at all one day and the next day I had hot flashes and vomited".
Well Sparky, all I can say is that I am terribly GLAD that you realized that you ere addicted when you did. The warnings about this drug HIGHLY understate how physically addictive this thing IS. For your sake, I am glad you found out when you did. I went through six years of monthly withdrawals to this drug as my prescription wound down each month. And month after month, I would tell myself, never again will I take more than my prescribed daily amount. But over time, the drug builds up a tolerance in your system, such that it would do nothing but get more difficlt to (10 stay on teh damned drug and (2) harder to STOP over time.
I have heard people taking this for only a week, who get addicted and who go through withdrawal. But the pill contineus to be sold without a prescrition nad many people believe that this is far more addictive than many opiates. Go figure!
You also mentioned, "This past Friday I broke down and told my Fiance what had happened. I actually cried to her because I was so depressed and felt so lonely. She immediately comforted me and told me that we would get through this together." You are definately a lucky man with a Finance' who is willing to help you and not condemn you for this addiction. How great is that? And you are doing great guns if you have made it through 3 days. One more day and it will be downhill. I wrote a journel entry today on "counting the days" that you might find interesting and another a few days ago on "higher powers", which based on what you have said, may interest you or not. Oh, and don't worry about the tears. I can't recall a week in which I have been so emotional or when I cried so much for no good reason as I have this past week or so. I think it's a drug thing. On Saturday, fifth day of withdrawal, I was walking around a wedding reception crying after a wedding we had attended. I mean REALLY rediculus sobbing and telling anyone who woud listen about how wonderful the wedding cerimony was. I have always been "sensative' but that crying jag WAY over the top, even to me at the time!!! Fireman, my adult sons kept asking me why I was crying. THAT was fun too!
There are others here who know a great deal more about the chemistry of beating the addiction than do I. I pretty much just gutted it out until it stopped killing me. Emily had some good resources in her early journal entries. I pretty well struck to LOTS of B-12, immodium AD, HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS (TAKE LOTS AS NEEDED), some NSAIDs I had and sleep aids of OTC tylenol PM. I may have spared myself some pain and gotten better sleeps in if I had better prepared, but when the opening arrived, i walked through and wanted to get started. I didn't want to mess around going to see a doctor. Pretty much for me, when it was time, it was time and I just got busy. But I REALLY admire people who methodically make preperation for and then execute their planned withdrawal week. I am not just one of those guys.
I tried to keep busy writing in my journal, devouring anything i could find on tramadol, and posting to this site and reading over and over and over what others had done. My only other advice is never start until YOU are ready and don't STOP before the miracle happens. But you are WELL on your way. And in grand sceme of things, a four day WAR isn't such a great price to pay to be normal again, huh?
After you get past the 4th day, you wil lhave other less severe symptoms like sneezing and walking into walls and dizziness and lack of concentration and burry vision and some report depression, though I haven't experienced that. Oh and I am warned that the withdrawal is not linear, and that random symptoms can return at random times. And if this paragraph didn't scare the **** out of you, you ae a better man than I.
Finally, you said that you were glad that (you) "found this website because it has shown me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it gets here in time for Christmas". Before responding to that one, do you mind if I ask "which Christmas" you were asking about - 2008 or 2009? MY SICK ATTEMPT AT HUMOR MY FRIEND!!! Seriously if you stay on the path that you have begun, you will be doing marvellously well by later this week. Try and write to let us know how you are doing.
Wishing you strength and courage. Fred
WELCOME to our world my friend. I will get to a couple of your questions in a moment, but I do want to make a couple of general housekeeping suggestions.
First - if you haven't already saved this to your favorites yet, take a moment and do so now. I had such a hard time finding it the second time when I tried to get back here - and as you know the WAY back is litered with dozens of sites that none of us needs to look at.
Let me explain why I seem a bit compulsive about making sure people can find their way back here by saving the site to their favorites.
TRUTH: Before I had decided what I intended to do about my addiction, I had visited but not posted to this site once two weeks ago. A few days later, I searched for "tramadol withdrawal" again and dozens of sites offering to sell me pills without a prescription popped up. I was unable to locate this site right off again. While in over six years I had never bought tramadol on line, I was running low (go figure!) and I thought I ought to cover the bases and seek both help and at the same time make sure I had a nice supply of this evil drug on hand. SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT MY BEST THINKING not doing me any favors?
So I filled out the on line order and then arrived on this site. Some minutes later, as I began pouring over enties at this site I had my first sense that recovery MAY be possible. I have to admit, by that time I was having mixed feelings about what I had just done moments before I found this site for the second time.
As I was reviewing these posts, I noticed I had a new email in my inbox. I toggled over and I found an email from the the on line supplier I had just placed my tramadol order with. They wre notifying me that my request for 180 pills because in my tramadol stuppor, I had included everythign but my master card account # and my order was being REJECTED! Over the next day, i receivfed three phone calls and two more emails letting me know tht they watned to fill my order despitee by taht time, I had told them verbally and emailed them that I (by taht time) was no longer interested. Looking back now, I see this as the first miracle that in a way, has lead to my recovery. So if I seem a little preoccupied with making sure that new folks here save this site to their favorites, you now have the rest of my story.
Second: I have concerns that some people new to this site are missing the "meat" of the message of hope and battle, by not checking out Emily's journal enties. She has great links to oteh sites as wll as a list of supplies to help in your recovery. Click on her ICONnext to one of her posts and you will be redirected to her journal entries. I am certain she doesn't mind us reading these and in fact, they have proven INVALUABLE TO MY RECOVERY.
Third: Consider beginning your own journal entries. Distraction: I did this when I began this fight myself and if nothing else, it kept me busy so my mind was not fighting with it's self and it helped time to pass.
I'll get off my dime soap box and I will try to address your post. You said, "I have been taking it for about 3-4 months. I know, that's not a very long time but the last 2 months I was taking hi doses at or around 8-10 50mg instant release tabs a day. I finally realized last week that I was addicted to Tramadol. I realized this when I didn't take any at all one day and the next day I had hot flashes and vomited".
Well Sparky, all I can say is that I am terribly GLAD that you realized that you ere addicted when you did. The warnings about this drug HIGHLY understate how physically addictive this thing IS. For your sake, I am glad you found out when you did. I went through six years of monthly withdrawals to this drug as my prescription wound down each month. And month after month, I would tell myself, never again will I take more than my prescribed daily amount. But over time, the drug builds up a tolerance in your system, such that it would do nothing but get more difficlt to (10 stay on teh damned drug and (2) harder to STOP over time.
I have heard people taking this for only a week, who get addicted and who go through withdrawal. But the pill contineus to be sold without a prescrition nad many people believe that this is far more addictive than many opiates. Go figure!
You also mentioned, "This past Friday I broke down and told my Fiance what had happened. I actually cried to her because I was so depressed and felt so lonely. She immediately comforted me and told me that we would get through this together." You are definately a lucky man with a Finance' who is willing to help you and not condemn you for this addiction. How great is that? And you are doing great guns if you have made it through 3 days. One more day and it will be downhill. I wrote a journel entry today on "counting the days" that you might find interesting and another a few days ago on "higher powers", which based on what you have said, may interest you or not. Oh, and don't worry about the tears. I can't recall a week in which I have been so emotional or when I cried so much for no good reason as I have this past week or so. I think it's a drug thing. On Saturday, fifth day of withdrawal, I was walking around a wedding reception crying after a wedding we had attended. I mean REALLY rediculus sobbing and telling anyone who woud listen about how wonderful the wedding cerimony was. I have always been "sensative' but that crying jag WAY over the top, even to me at the time!!! Fireman, my adult sons kept asking me why I was crying. THAT was fun too!
There are others here who know a great deal more about the chemistry of beating the addiction than do I. I pretty much just gutted it out until it stopped killing me. Emily had some good resources in her early journal entries. I pretty well struck to LOTS of B-12, immodium AD, HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS (TAKE LOTS AS NEEDED), some NSAIDs I had and sleep aids of OTC tylenol PM. I may have spared myself some pain and gotten better sleeps in if I had better prepared, but when the opening arrived, i walked through and wanted to get started. I didn't want to mess around going to see a doctor. Pretty much for me, when it was time, it was time and I just got busy. But I REALLY admire people who methodically make preperation for and then execute their planned withdrawal week. I am not just one of those guys.
I tried to keep busy writing in my journal, devouring anything i could find on tramadol, and posting to this site and reading over and over and over what others had done. My only other advice is never start until YOU are ready and don't STOP before the miracle happens. But you are WELL on your way. And in grand sceme of things, a four day WAR isn't such a great price to pay to be normal again, huh?
After you get past the 4th day, you wil lhave other less severe symptoms like sneezing and walking into walls and dizziness and lack of concentration and burry vision and some report depression, though I haven't experienced that. Oh and I am warned that the withdrawal is not linear, and that random symptoms can return at random times. And if this paragraph didn't scare the **** out of you, you ae a better man than I.
Finally, you said that you were glad that (you) "found this website because it has shown me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it gets here in time for Christmas". Before responding to that one, do you mind if I ask "which Christmas" you were asking about - 2008 or 2009? MY SICK ATTEMPT AT HUMOR MY FRIEND!!! Seriously if you stay on the path that you have begun, you will be doing marvellously well by later this week. Try and write to let us know how you are doing.
Wishing you strength and courage. Fred
emergee, I agree, Phantom Girl sound like she is dying out there. I know "dying" and wish I could do more. She sent me a note too and I THINK I gave her the website address here, http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/20035. ; Appatrently you contacted her through another "addiction" website and I agree, it would be helpful for her to log on one set up to address tramadol addiction.
I have beat this like a DEAD horse, but it is important that people save this website to their favorites so they can rejoin us easliy. See my own story on the subject in my previous post.
My tech savvy is not going to earn me any money, But the way you can check and or send messages here is by clicking on that person's icon and then "send note", etc. To view enotes from otehrs sent to you, click on your own ICON. That is where you can ALSO begin your own journal as well, so PLEASE CONSIDER BEGINNING YOURS once you are there. You can record your thoughts, fears, complaints, tips, victories, etc etc. there. I regret not beginning my own until I was a couple days into withdrawal. Not thinking to well I guess. Oh well.
Did you ever read Emily's journal of her early recovery? Now I am beginning to sound like an "ad man for EP, but I don't mean to sound like that"!!! There is just so much good stuff that you really must read and this would be excellent for PG too.
I spent my first few days rereading those entries . So click on her ICON. I benefited greatly from EP's spirit displayed in those writings. Truth be told, I seriously doubt I would have had the courage to come this far without her example as a warrior leader. We are dealing with some pretty terrible misunderstood stuff here in TRAM.
I will continue to fight through whatever comes my way, because in no way do I want to repeat those first few days EVER again. MOMENT BY MOMENT, we keep doing the next best thing and with one another's help, we can berat this thing.
Courage and strength to all I mediate on each of those words (courage and strength) and will them your way as I conclude here. Goodnight emergee and all. Fred
I have beat this like a DEAD horse, but it is important that people save this website to their favorites so they can rejoin us easliy. See my own story on the subject in my previous post.
My tech savvy is not going to earn me any money, But the way you can check and or send messages here is by clicking on that person's icon and then "send note", etc. To view enotes from otehrs sent to you, click on your own ICON. That is where you can ALSO begin your own journal as well, so PLEASE CONSIDER BEGINNING YOURS once you are there. You can record your thoughts, fears, complaints, tips, victories, etc etc. there. I regret not beginning my own until I was a couple days into withdrawal. Not thinking to well I guess. Oh well.
Did you ever read Emily's journal of her early recovery? Now I am beginning to sound like an "ad man for EP, but I don't mean to sound like that"!!! There is just so much good stuff that you really must read and this would be excellent for PG too.
I spent my first few days rereading those entries . So click on her ICON. I benefited greatly from EP's spirit displayed in those writings. Truth be told, I seriously doubt I would have had the courage to come this far without her example as a warrior leader. We are dealing with some pretty terrible misunderstood stuff here in TRAM.
I will continue to fight through whatever comes my way, because in no way do I want to repeat those first few days EVER again. MOMENT BY MOMENT, we keep doing the next best thing and with one another's help, we can berat this thing.
Courage and strength to all I mediate on each of those words (courage and strength) and will them your way as I conclude here. Goodnight emergee and all. Fred
You're such a hoot Fred :) I'm thankful you're able to pour it out because it's been invaluable to me, seriously. Emily's posts are miraculous and so are yours.
I'm in the sneezing phase now. Minimum of 3 at a time, no more no less. I'm also awake alot more. Did everyone here find that you could sleep ALOT taking the devil's pill? I also noticed that my appetite is getting back to normal and my eyes are starting to have depth to them again. For a long time they were just there, no one home sort of.
Oh and the online resources... I DID place orders online. They're MAJOR pushers, they send constant reminders that you are now ready for your refill. And then started getting phone calls too. You saw how they wanted to keep you in their claws after you forgot to add your cc info.
I'm wishing that my fellow warriors have a good day today. Every minute without gets you closer to yourself again.
I'm in the sneezing phase now. Minimum of 3 at a time, no more no less. I'm also awake alot more. Did everyone here find that you could sleep ALOT taking the devil's pill? I also noticed that my appetite is getting back to normal and my eyes are starting to have depth to them again. For a long time they were just there, no one home sort of.
Oh and the online resources... I DID place orders online. They're MAJOR pushers, they send constant reminders that you are now ready for your refill. And then started getting phone calls too. You saw how they wanted to keep you in their claws after you forgot to add your cc info.
I'm wishing that my fellow warriors have a good day today. Every minute without gets you closer to yourself again.
Hello guys,
I'm new here. I was reading this blog for a while now and decided to finally post. Emily is such a great character, well done Emily, you my lady, are a star. I live in the good old UK. My story in short...
I have been taking Tram for around 4 months. I've started with prescribed 3x1 a day (50mg) but eventually I got to around 5 a day. I have decided to stop 5 days ago. Today is the 5th day and I feel pretty good to be honest. The biggest problem is RLS (restless leg syndrome), strange how no-one mentiond restless arms too :) Anyway, I found a good way to deal with this. For the first 3 days of withdrawal I didn't take ANYTHING (needless to say it was HORRIBLE) but I got so angry with myself and the notorious Tram that I decided to quit. No more online orders EVER. So to deal with the RLS I've ordered some diazepam 5mg ( same as valium). It helped immensley. I could finally get some decent sleep. I try to take it only before I go to bed. If you take it during the day, it will be more difficult to fall asleep at night. So postpone it as long as you can.
I would love to help anyone on here as you all seem to be nice people.
P.S. I conveniently forgot to mention that I was hooked on Tram 5 years ago with a pretty high dosage (up to 10 pills a day). I have a lot of experiance and if anyone has any questions I would love to help.
Stay strong!!!
I'm new here. I was reading this blog for a while now and decided to finally post. Emily is such a great character, well done Emily, you my lady, are a star. I live in the good old UK. My story in short...
I have been taking Tram for around 4 months. I've started with prescribed 3x1 a day (50mg) but eventually I got to around 5 a day. I have decided to stop 5 days ago. Today is the 5th day and I feel pretty good to be honest. The biggest problem is RLS (restless leg syndrome), strange how no-one mentiond restless arms too :) Anyway, I found a good way to deal with this. For the first 3 days of withdrawal I didn't take ANYTHING (needless to say it was HORRIBLE) but I got so angry with myself and the notorious Tram that I decided to quit. No more online orders EVER. So to deal with the RLS I've ordered some diazepam 5mg ( same as valium). It helped immensley. I could finally get some decent sleep. I try to take it only before I go to bed. If you take it during the day, it will be more difficult to fall asleep at night. So postpone it as long as you can.
I would love to help anyone on here as you all seem to be nice people.
P.S. I conveniently forgot to mention that I was hooked on Tram 5 years ago with a pretty high dosage (up to 10 pills a day). I have a lot of experiance and if anyone has any questions I would love to help.
Stay strong!!!
Fred, thanks for the replies my friend. All of you were right. After day 3 it is down hill from there. I am already feeling better. I already feel like I have my life back.
Chelseafan15, you got through those first 3 days. That to me seems like the biggest step to climb. Just flush all of those pills down the toilet and don't look back. Look forward!!!
Chelseafan15, you got through those first 3 days. That to me seems like the biggest step to climb. Just flush all of those pills down the toilet and don't look back. Look forward!!!
Hi, my name is Mercedes. I have posted alittle on the other boards but found this site. I need some advice. I want to stop taking Tramadol but have been avoiding the actually "doing it" part because I have a trip coming up on 12.23-12.27. I have to fly and stay with family. From the little experience I have had so far with Tram withdrawals (my mornings) I am really, really scared. I am not sure what I have done to myself as I am not even starting tapering or anything..just the mornings are the longest I have been since my last dose and I literally feel like I can barely make it to the bathroom. I have really, severe body aches and listnessness.
Can someone give me a status check on where I am at. I started taking tramadols (I think) some time in September. So I am going on 4months.. I take 8 50mg tablets a day. Usually 2 in morning, 2 in afternoon, 2 around 5p and then another 2 around 7p - 8 tablets.
Should I be feeling this bad in mornings at this dose? I could probably get away with 6 tabs...that last 2 is just for peace of mind in evening.
Should I quit this next w/end or wait till after Christmas. I was thinking 12/27...through end of year since work should be slow and daughter will be with my ex husband. I atleast then have no more commitments, family and can be alone.
I also heard Clonidine helps. Was thinking of going to my doctor to get that prior to when I stop. What I thought was to slowly taper until that w/end then jump.
Has anyone been taking about 8 pills a day for about 4months..can tell me what I can expect? I am just way scared as I am all by myself. My family is out of state..my ex can't do much for me. Nobody knows. My doctor is the one that gave me this stuff. I havent been back yet to ask for the Clonidine. He told me this drug was not a problem. I know I will need to battle that when I go back but wanted to know what to ask for in terms of anything "he" can give me to help in the first 4 days.
I am also very concerned about the post listnessness. What I experience in mornings is a nightmare...I can only think it will get worse, right>? Can I do this by myself? Usually that morning episode is about 13hrs after my last dose. Any advice would be appreciated. Lastly, if I did this before the vacation..I just fear that flying and being around family..I will need to do shopping, and helping..will not be able to veg on couch...I can't be sick around family and my daughter..that is why I would think..although I would be beyond the infamous 4 days I will still be way listless to be social.
Can someone give me a status check on where I am at. I started taking tramadols (I think) some time in September. So I am going on 4months.. I take 8 50mg tablets a day. Usually 2 in morning, 2 in afternoon, 2 around 5p and then another 2 around 7p - 8 tablets.
Should I be feeling this bad in mornings at this dose? I could probably get away with 6 tabs...that last 2 is just for peace of mind in evening.
Should I quit this next w/end or wait till after Christmas. I was thinking 12/27...through end of year since work should be slow and daughter will be with my ex husband. I atleast then have no more commitments, family and can be alone.
I also heard Clonidine helps. Was thinking of going to my doctor to get that prior to when I stop. What I thought was to slowly taper until that w/end then jump.
Has anyone been taking about 8 pills a day for about 4months..can tell me what I can expect? I am just way scared as I am all by myself. My family is out of state..my ex can't do much for me. Nobody knows. My doctor is the one that gave me this stuff. I havent been back yet to ask for the Clonidine. He told me this drug was not a problem. I know I will need to battle that when I go back but wanted to know what to ask for in terms of anything "he" can give me to help in the first 4 days.
I am also very concerned about the post listnessness. What I experience in mornings is a nightmare...I can only think it will get worse, right>? Can I do this by myself? Usually that morning episode is about 13hrs after my last dose. Any advice would be appreciated. Lastly, if I did this before the vacation..I just fear that flying and being around family..I will need to do shopping, and helping..will not be able to veg on couch...I can't be sick around family and my daughter..that is why I would think..although I would be beyond the infamous 4 days I will still be way listless to be social.
mercedes
i am going to have to make this short. i am on day 13 and my experience is the wds come back in waves. there can be whole days where it is pretty good and then it comes back. my take is the better thing for everyone is to have time to devote to this project. maybe try to taper as much as you can without making yourself feeling terrible during your trip. i am alone too by the way. there are a couple of people who know but they don't really get it and they think i seem fine. i am not fine. tram makes you feel bad. it gives you pain and health problems . it makes you think you are falling apart and it is the only thing that keeps you going. the listlessness is still present in waves but i promise you , when you do jump off , it is not as bad as being on the stuff. you will go through withdrawals and you should be prepared to suffer. but it just isn't as bad as either tapering, or forgetting to take your pill and you are out of the house without them and it hits. it is oddly better when you quit. i was on 6 to 8 pills, tapered to 4 for 3 weeks. i took them for a year and a half perhaps. being scared is good, it will get you to stop this poison. it is a poison. very rapidly the fear will turn to determination.
emergee
i am going to have to make this short. i am on day 13 and my experience is the wds come back in waves. there can be whole days where it is pretty good and then it comes back. my take is the better thing for everyone is to have time to devote to this project. maybe try to taper as much as you can without making yourself feeling terrible during your trip. i am alone too by the way. there are a couple of people who know but they don't really get it and they think i seem fine. i am not fine. tram makes you feel bad. it gives you pain and health problems . it makes you think you are falling apart and it is the only thing that keeps you going. the listlessness is still present in waves but i promise you , when you do jump off , it is not as bad as being on the stuff. you will go through withdrawals and you should be prepared to suffer. but it just isn't as bad as either tapering, or forgetting to take your pill and you are out of the house without them and it hits. it is oddly better when you quit. i was on 6 to 8 pills, tapered to 4 for 3 weeks. i took them for a year and a half perhaps. being scared is good, it will get you to stop this poison. it is a poison. very rapidly the fear will turn to determination.
emergee
Day 5. The symptoms are still present but lesser than yesterday, which is a positive. The lack of sleep is really starting to get to me. I am struggling with the depression in the mornings. I have also cought a cold. But, I am still excited to get my life back. I know it will never be the same. My life with my fiance was blurred by the devil pill the entire two years. I know I love her so much, but I don't even know what life would be like with her without tramadol. Everything I did was for her and tramadol. It seems I countinued the abuse of tramadol to be a different person to please her. I am excited to find myself, since I have been a substance abuser since I was 16 and now I am 28.
All of your comments have been inspirational I thank everybody. Fireman is right, you can't look back. I am now doing this for myself!
Mercedes, wait until after Christmas, or start a slow taper. That is if you want to be a productive person during Christams. Take the time to pre-pare yourself mentally. This is nothing to be taken lightly. I am almost thankful my life has been flipped upside down. I am able to lie around and be miserable thanks to my family. I am removed from my tramadol life, forever. I am in a different city around caring people who know what I am going through. I still have the stressers of what the hell I'm going to do now. But what ever it is it will be without tramadol.
Any Ideas on how to fight the depression. Or are there any creams that can help the leg pain?
All of your comments have been inspirational I thank everybody. Fireman is right, you can't look back. I am now doing this for myself!
Mercedes, wait until after Christmas, or start a slow taper. That is if you want to be a productive person during Christams. Take the time to pre-pare yourself mentally. This is nothing to be taken lightly. I am almost thankful my life has been flipped upside down. I am able to lie around and be miserable thanks to my family. I am removed from my tramadol life, forever. I am in a different city around caring people who know what I am going through. I still have the stressers of what the hell I'm going to do now. But what ever it is it will be without tramadol.
Any Ideas on how to fight the depression. Or are there any creams that can help the leg pain?
Hello Fireman, Shaffeki, Mercedes,
Saw your posts from my "other" PC so had to trott back to the kitchen to post this at coffee break! I know first hand, what a bummer it is to be struggling, scared or otherwise consumed by the affects of this nasty drug, so I had to post NOW.
Shaffeki, You in a good groove it seems. You amaze me. Stay connected, work this one day at a time, and (while it is easy for me to say this) try to not get consumed by what "might have been". Take today today and worry about tomorrow when it get's here. I know you know this!
It is amazing to me that we can live with someone and they know we are taking this prescribed med for years and they think nothing of it. In my case, my wife of course knew what I was on and she knew why I was taking it (chronic pain) and she even saw me go through monthly withdrawals that we have all come to know and hate. Yet, with all that, she doesn't really GET why I have gone off this, what exactly it is like withdrawing from this stuff or why I am so wrapped up in caring for others who are struggling like I am/have. She'd asked regularly how I was during withdrawal and she was sweet and supportive, but frankly when would ask "how am i doing", it got rather old (for us both) for me to say EXACTLY how I was doing...cause it wasn't pretty and it wasn't anything she really could relate to ...so I reverted to saying simply FINE. Fine. And frankly, no matter how much someone else loves us, unless that someone has sufferd as we have, I think it is impossible 4 us to expect they COULD feel the pain we go through.
But you know it is not FINE. It is not easy and you know how taking another handful of pills would deliver short term relief. STAND and FIGHT yet a little longer. We can do this one day at a time.
For us all, yet a little longer in this fight and those things which we now fight now against will begin to fade. Trust me when I tell you that I would rather be doing this now, after taking these demon pills for six eyars, than two years from now. So Mercedes, if you are worried now, if possible, don't do to yourself what i have done to myself. The addiction does nothing but get worse over time.
I recall the first few weeks that I took this stuff, I said to myself, "wow, what a miracle" no pain. But it doesn't take too long for this drug to get it's hooks into you and desire to keep you forever. It will not let go easily. And the NOTION that this drug is addictive ONLY to the weak, is LAUGHABLE. I mean think about it, what the hell does it mean when the literative say it "works on our brain receptors"? I have no flippin idea what a brain reception is. But if I have one, so do you. And if it works on your "receptor" the way it works on mine, heaven help the person who thinks they are immune from this drug taking them over. Cause I am fairly sure that "receptors" or the effects of this drug are no respectors of people.
Looking back, I think there are just two kinds of people taking tramadol. Those who admit they are addicted and those who do NOT admit they are addicted. But the drug works on us ALL, whether we choose to admit it or not.
Looking back, I probably wish I had consulted my MD, but I didn't because I suspected that he wouldn't undertand what withdrawal is like, from this supposed harmless little pill. But if I had a relationship with a doc who I thought might understand withdrawal, ((forget the fact that he was prescribing these for me) AND if I had the guts to tell him my plans and fears, it would certainly be of benefit to do some preperation, i.e. get some drugs lined up to address the withdrawal symptoms one certainly will feel.
So if you are as compulsive and impatient as I am, start the WAR now. And if not now, when? I am duly impressed by the number of folks here who are preparing for day 1 at a "yet to be determined date" . We each must know our own selves and make decisions we each are comfortable with. And I have not known any addict who stopped because someone else told them to do so.
In my case, I simply wanted to jump off and start putting time between myself and my last dose.
Finally ( and I need to get back to work!) what has helped me a great deal during withdrawal has been to recognize that I DID THIS DAMN WITHDRAWAL THING REGULARLY. Mercedes, you talked about this today re: how you feel in the A.M. So for me, when I hurt really bad last week, I took comfort in knowing that THOSE withdrawals, would very soon be put to DEATH. So I took comfort in knowing that the pain that I went through last week, meant that befoer too long, as lousy as I felt, as sleepless as I was, as much as I hurt, that irf I could kick this for just a little longer, I would NEVER THOSE need to be controlled by this drug again.
I apoligize for mis spelled words, no time to review before posting this mess. Emily, where is the spell check on this monster! HA
Gotta go for now...Fred
Saw your posts from my "other" PC so had to trott back to the kitchen to post this at coffee break! I know first hand, what a bummer it is to be struggling, scared or otherwise consumed by the affects of this nasty drug, so I had to post NOW.
Shaffeki, You in a good groove it seems. You amaze me. Stay connected, work this one day at a time, and (while it is easy for me to say this) try to not get consumed by what "might have been". Take today today and worry about tomorrow when it get's here. I know you know this!
It is amazing to me that we can live with someone and they know we are taking this prescribed med for years and they think nothing of it. In my case, my wife of course knew what I was on and she knew why I was taking it (chronic pain) and she even saw me go through monthly withdrawals that we have all come to know and hate. Yet, with all that, she doesn't really GET why I have gone off this, what exactly it is like withdrawing from this stuff or why I am so wrapped up in caring for others who are struggling like I am/have. She'd asked regularly how I was during withdrawal and she was sweet and supportive, but frankly when would ask "how am i doing", it got rather old (for us both) for me to say EXACTLY how I was doing...cause it wasn't pretty and it wasn't anything she really could relate to ...so I reverted to saying simply FINE. Fine. And frankly, no matter how much someone else loves us, unless that someone has sufferd as we have, I think it is impossible 4 us to expect they COULD feel the pain we go through.
But you know it is not FINE. It is not easy and you know how taking another handful of pills would deliver short term relief. STAND and FIGHT yet a little longer. We can do this one day at a time.
For us all, yet a little longer in this fight and those things which we now fight now against will begin to fade. Trust me when I tell you that I would rather be doing this now, after taking these demon pills for six eyars, than two years from now. So Mercedes, if you are worried now, if possible, don't do to yourself what i have done to myself. The addiction does nothing but get worse over time.
I recall the first few weeks that I took this stuff, I said to myself, "wow, what a miracle" no pain. But it doesn't take too long for this drug to get it's hooks into you and desire to keep you forever. It will not let go easily. And the NOTION that this drug is addictive ONLY to the weak, is LAUGHABLE. I mean think about it, what the hell does it mean when the literative say it "works on our brain receptors"? I have no flippin idea what a brain reception is. But if I have one, so do you. And if it works on your "receptor" the way it works on mine, heaven help the person who thinks they are immune from this drug taking them over. Cause I am fairly sure that "receptors" or the effects of this drug are no respectors of people.
Looking back, I think there are just two kinds of people taking tramadol. Those who admit they are addicted and those who do NOT admit they are addicted. But the drug works on us ALL, whether we choose to admit it or not.
Looking back, I probably wish I had consulted my MD, but I didn't because I suspected that he wouldn't undertand what withdrawal is like, from this supposed harmless little pill. But if I had a relationship with a doc who I thought might understand withdrawal, ((forget the fact that he was prescribing these for me) AND if I had the guts to tell him my plans and fears, it would certainly be of benefit to do some preperation, i.e. get some drugs lined up to address the withdrawal symptoms one certainly will feel.
So if you are as compulsive and impatient as I am, start the WAR now. And if not now, when? I am duly impressed by the number of folks here who are preparing for day 1 at a "yet to be determined date" . We each must know our own selves and make decisions we each are comfortable with. And I have not known any addict who stopped because someone else told them to do so.
In my case, I simply wanted to jump off and start putting time between myself and my last dose.
Finally ( and I need to get back to work!) what has helped me a great deal during withdrawal has been to recognize that I DID THIS DAMN WITHDRAWAL THING REGULARLY. Mercedes, you talked about this today re: how you feel in the A.M. So for me, when I hurt really bad last week, I took comfort in knowing that THOSE withdrawals, would very soon be put to DEATH. So I took comfort in knowing that the pain that I went through last week, meant that befoer too long, as lousy as I felt, as sleepless as I was, as much as I hurt, that irf I could kick this for just a little longer, I would NEVER THOSE need to be controlled by this drug again.
I apoligize for mis spelled words, no time to review before posting this mess. Emily, where is the spell check on this monster! HA
Gotta go for now...Fred
shaffekl,
do you have a heating pad? i consider that essential equipment for the leg pain and chills. i found your post very profound. i have this sort of naked feeling. like i have had my skin torn off. that is so true for me as well about taking the pill to be okay for others. and i am taking sam-e which is supposed to help depression and your liver too. i have read great reports on sam-e. good to hear from you.
emergee
do you have a heating pad? i consider that essential equipment for the leg pain and chills. i found your post very profound. i have this sort of naked feeling. like i have had my skin torn off. that is so true for me as well about taking the pill to be okay for others. and i am taking sam-e which is supposed to help depression and your liver too. i have read great reports on sam-e. good to hear from you.
emergee
I will post my extensive vitamin regiment later on when I have more time. Just to let everyone know, I am on day 4 and I feel great. I woke up at 8:30 am, took some vitamins, ate breakfast and then went to a Golf store to see if they had my clubs I want in yet. I then met my mom for lunch and after that I took her across the street to a Vitamin Shop where she spent about $200 on Vitamins, amino acids, herbal teas, and weight gain powder for my little step brother. After that I went to the grocery store and bought all healthy foods being that I am going to start working out again. I gathered up everything at the grocery store that had OMEGA 3 on the front and piled it in my cart. Right now I have to put all my grocery's away then meet some friends at the high school field for a game of football and on my way back pick up some flowers and a card for my fiance for supporting me through 2-3 days of hell. I feel like a new person and I think the vitamins and good diet have a lot to do with it.
Yes a heating pad works great for the chills and leg cramps. Trust me I know, I used one for the first 2 days. =)
BBL with the list of Vitamins.
Yes a heating pad works great for the chills and leg cramps. Trust me I know, I used one for the first 2 days. =)
BBL with the list of Vitamins.
Fireman Im glad to hear you had such a good day. getting to the computer has been a struggle for me. The depression fades as the day goes on. The fact that that I was taking such a large amount daily make me realize I'm going to suffer for a longer period. I wish my fiance would have supported me but I chose to keep my relaspe a secret from her. It was a bad choice. The trams have had control of me for to long. I kept my addiction from everyone I care about. I don't understand why I have to keep running myself through the ringer. This is the last time. I think I am ready to accept my problem. Fireman don't be suprised If something may trigger a feeling that It would be alright to take a tram because you have gotten through the hardest days of your withdrawl. Be strong the fight is not over and never will be, but each day is a small victory over the devil pill.
Fred, I understand the feeling of not wanting to express the real feelings of paiin with the ones who care so much about us. My mother keeps asking me how I feel. I want to say the truth that I am completely miserable but I know it breaks her hart. So I say I feel better but, its not true I still feel sick as a dog. Fred I am so empressed with your ability to continue to work and go on with the daily activities. I know if I was not removed from My life I would have relasped by now. And without the support that I have recieved here I probably would have done something drastic to get more tams. I am slowly feeling like I too could get through the worst of it. I also have a problem explaining to others the importance of sharing these feelings with peolple who are also suffering. I also went throuhg the w/d symptoms regularly, It scared me to think about not having enough trams to get me through the day. Have the month I would spend time worrying how a was going to my next FedEx pakckage and pay ofr it without anyone finding out. I am sick of them feelings. Im getting my life back one day at a time.
Please keep posting! this has helped me so much.
Fred, I understand the feeling of not wanting to express the real feelings of paiin with the ones who care so much about us. My mother keeps asking me how I feel. I want to say the truth that I am completely miserable but I know it breaks her hart. So I say I feel better but, its not true I still feel sick as a dog. Fred I am so empressed with your ability to continue to work and go on with the daily activities. I know if I was not removed from My life I would have relasped by now. And without the support that I have recieved here I probably would have done something drastic to get more tams. I am slowly feeling like I too could get through the worst of it. I also have a problem explaining to others the importance of sharing these feelings with peolple who are also suffering. I also went throuhg the w/d symptoms regularly, It scared me to think about not having enough trams to get me through the day. Have the month I would spend time worrying how a was going to my next FedEx pakckage and pay ofr it without anyone finding out. I am sick of them feelings. Im getting my life back one day at a time.
Please keep posting! this has helped me so much.
Fireman50, can you please send me your list of everything you took the first 3 days? And what times/how much of each/brand name (if you have it) so I can duplicate? You mentioned L-theamine? Do you mean L-tyrosine? I heard that helps..but honestly I have only had negative experience with vitamins..they usually give me headaches..but worth it to try if it works for you. Please tell me how much you are taking too..I went to GNC the other day and was overwhelmed..they have all different dosages..I had no idea how much to take, when, etc.
Any advice would be appreciated. thanks.
BTW, did you take any sleep aids or anything prescribed by your doctor?
Any advice would be appreciated. thanks.
BTW, did you take any sleep aids or anything prescribed by your doctor?
OK..before I get to the extensive list of vitamins, I would like to say "If at all possible stay away from prescription sleep aids, benzodiazepines (ie. xanax), SSRI's (ie. prozac) or any other prescription medication that helps with anxiety or depression." In my opinion you may end up dropping one addiction for another. Trust me, I know from experience benzo withdraw is pure hell. OK, on to the good stuff.
I will call it "A quick recovery for Tramadol Withdraw"
-First and for most, if you can take off work for 3 days.
-Do not just stay in bed or sit inside and mope all day. Set your alarm for 8am and force yourself out of bed. Get out of the house and take a walk. Do things that take your mind off of the withdraw.
-The fallowing vitamins and food will be posted in Morning, Afternoon and Night.
-Morning
.Eat a light breakfast, preferably a Banana (it will help increase GABA levels in your brain) and wash that down with some pomegranate juice. POM juice is brain food.
.Daily Multi Vitamin
.l-theanine (increases brain serotonin, dopamine, GABA levels) in layman's terms it increases happy feelings in your brain. dose: 100mg
.Sub-Lingual B-12(gives you a lot of much needed energy) dose: 1,000mcg
.B-Complex Sustained release (helps maintain energy throughout the day) dose: B-100
.Saint Johns Wart (promotes a positive mood) dose: 300mg
.GABA sub lingual tabs (increases GABA levels in your brain) these help with anxiety and depression. dose: 125mg
.Vitamin D-3 (helps support a positive mood) D-3 is absorbed through UV rays from the sun. If anyone ever wondered why they feel down and out in the winter time, its because your not getting out side enough to absorb the UV rays from the sun. Also if you can go tanning twice a week. Tanning beds will give you tremendous amounts of D-3. I went tanning on my second day off of Tramadol and came out feeling a lot better.
-Afternoon
. Eat a healthy lunch and drink a little bit of caffeine. (coke or some tea)
.Sub-Lingual B-12
.Saint Johns Wart
.l-theanine
-Night
.Pig out on whatever you want. Eat a lot, a full belly makes you tired =)
.Saint Johns Wart
.GABA sub-lingual tab
.Vitamin D-3
. 30 min. before bed or while watching TV in bed drink 1 to 2 cups of calming, relaxing or any other herbal tea that is marketed to produce a good nights sleep.
.50mg of diphenhydramine 15min. before you want to go to bed. (helps you fall asleep)
I think I got everything.......
I heard some of you mention l-tyrosine. Yes this is a good amino-acid however it does not readily cross the blood brain barrier and cannot morph into it's last know forms of Epinephrine and Norepinephrin without the aids of Vitamin C and Vitamin B3 (Niacin). l-tyrosine is also one of the vitamins in the sub lingual GABA tabs I mentioned above.
Try and stay away from teas or extracts that contain Kava or Valerian root. These 2 substances can give you a opiate like high and can cause relapse with Tramadol. Only use these two substances as a last resort if you cannot fall asleep with the above method.
There you go..I know it's expensive but trust me!!!! The $100 dollars spent is worth every penny.
Good luck to everyone and myself =)
I will call it "A quick recovery for Tramadol Withdraw"
-First and for most, if you can take off work for 3 days.
-Do not just stay in bed or sit inside and mope all day. Set your alarm for 8am and force yourself out of bed. Get out of the house and take a walk. Do things that take your mind off of the withdraw.
-The fallowing vitamins and food will be posted in Morning, Afternoon and Night.
-Morning
.Eat a light breakfast, preferably a Banana (it will help increase GABA levels in your brain) and wash that down with some pomegranate juice. POM juice is brain food.
.Daily Multi Vitamin
.l-theanine (increases brain serotonin, dopamine, GABA levels) in layman's terms it increases happy feelings in your brain. dose: 100mg
.Sub-Lingual B-12(gives you a lot of much needed energy) dose: 1,000mcg
.B-Complex Sustained release (helps maintain energy throughout the day) dose: B-100
.Saint Johns Wart (promotes a positive mood) dose: 300mg
.GABA sub lingual tabs (increases GABA levels in your brain) these help with anxiety and depression. dose: 125mg
.Vitamin D-3 (helps support a positive mood) D-3 is absorbed through UV rays from the sun. If anyone ever wondered why they feel down and out in the winter time, its because your not getting out side enough to absorb the UV rays from the sun. Also if you can go tanning twice a week. Tanning beds will give you tremendous amounts of D-3. I went tanning on my second day off of Tramadol and came out feeling a lot better.
-Afternoon
. Eat a healthy lunch and drink a little bit of caffeine. (coke or some tea)
.Sub-Lingual B-12
.Saint Johns Wart
.l-theanine
-Night
.Pig out on whatever you want. Eat a lot, a full belly makes you tired =)
.Saint Johns Wart
.GABA sub-lingual tab
.Vitamin D-3
. 30 min. before bed or while watching TV in bed drink 1 to 2 cups of calming, relaxing or any other herbal tea that is marketed to produce a good nights sleep.
.50mg of diphenhydramine 15min. before you want to go to bed. (helps you fall asleep)
I think I got everything.......
I heard some of you mention l-tyrosine. Yes this is a good amino-acid however it does not readily cross the blood brain barrier and cannot morph into it's last know forms of Epinephrine and Norepinephrin without the aids of Vitamin C and Vitamin B3 (Niacin). l-tyrosine is also one of the vitamins in the sub lingual GABA tabs I mentioned above.
Try and stay away from teas or extracts that contain Kava or Valerian root. These 2 substances can give you a opiate like high and can cause relapse with Tramadol. Only use these two substances as a last resort if you cannot fall asleep with the above method.
There you go..I know it's expensive but trust me!!!! The $100 dollars spent is worth every penny.
Good luck to everyone and myself =)
I almost forgot....Get a heating pad too help with the leg cramps and chills. Get some bath minerals and soak yourself for 20 minutes at night time. Then get up from the bath and stand in a HOT shower for 10 min. Your skin is the biggest organ in your body and the more your pores open and the more you sweat will help get rid of those nasty toxins left behind by the medication. Also if you have a sauna available or know where one is go get in it and sweat your brains out. =). If you can afford it crank the heat up in your house to 78 deg.F if your in a cold climate. It will help keep you warm and help avoid some of those chills.
Thats it....................................I think!
Thats it....................................I think!
I cant stop thinking about the relief a hadfull of trams would brng to me. I want to sleep to night! I havve taken three baths and still my skin is crawling. My mindset is not as strong as it was this morning. I feel that I am losing this balltle. I try to get angry but it fades as the ideals of relief come to mind. I am lucky that I have no trams on hand or I think I would have lost. I need to get my strenght back. The demon is fighting me as hard as it can right now. I do want my life back but the fear of failure has come over me. I am lucky that I am away from my normal setting. I need to stay strong. I think I may be having my first anxiety attack from tramadol w/d. does anyone feel, um its hard to explain but when I move my eyes side to side I feel an tinggling throug my body and into my hands that feel like an electric shock. I accpected weird fealings but not this intense. I could use a benzo but have no access.
I feel so alone, should I coonsider calling a hotline or something. Does anybody feel this way?
I feel so alone, should I coonsider calling a hotline or something. Does anybody feel this way?
Shaffekl you are not alone, you have all of us here & I guarantee you this will pass. I came off a five year habit, five months ago, then developed chronic fatigue syndrome but finally it all washed out. Try everything that has worked for others, especially follow the Thomas recipe.
Sleep was the longest hold out for me. The not sleeping freaked me out so much, I resorted to Lunesta which did work, but I have to say that it didn't provide the restful normal sleep I have now & overall I think it delayed & complicated my recovery. Maybe try a sleep med for a few nights just to get past the worst. Staying with natural day/night rhythms as much as possible is helpful to reset your body clock & also helps you feel more like a normal person than being awake while everyone else is asleep. Get out in the early morning sun whenever you can manage it.
Re the anxiety, in addition to L-theanine, I found mega doses of Inositol, (just plain inositol, not IP-6), very helpful. I took 6-8 grams, yes grams, twice a day. It doesn't build up in your system & there are plenty of studies of these mega doses with no recorded side effects or overdoses. St John's Wort is also great for depression & anxiety. You can take all three of these together.
Hang in there, there will be more encouragement when the people on your side of the world are back on-line. It's only lunch time here in OZ.
Michelle
Sleep was the longest hold out for me. The not sleeping freaked me out so much, I resorted to Lunesta which did work, but I have to say that it didn't provide the restful normal sleep I have now & overall I think it delayed & complicated my recovery. Maybe try a sleep med for a few nights just to get past the worst. Staying with natural day/night rhythms as much as possible is helpful to reset your body clock & also helps you feel more like a normal person than being awake while everyone else is asleep. Get out in the early morning sun whenever you can manage it.
Re the anxiety, in addition to L-theanine, I found mega doses of Inositol, (just plain inositol, not IP-6), very helpful. I took 6-8 grams, yes grams, twice a day. It doesn't build up in your system & there are plenty of studies of these mega doses with no recorded side effects or overdoses. St John's Wort is also great for depression & anxiety. You can take all three of these together.
Hang in there, there will be more encouragement when the people on your side of the world are back on-line. It's only lunch time here in OZ.
Michelle
Shaffekl, get up tomorrow and go out and get the vitamins I listed. Trust me they will help you tremendously. In your case I would go ahead and recommend you get both Herbal Teas that contain Kava extract and Valerian Root. They will help with your sleep. TRUST ME FRIEND.....I did extensive research into each and every one of those vitamins. You will feel 20 times better within 2 days of fallowing my regiment.
Hi all.......Been reading for entries for the last hour or so. I feel compelled to share.
First-to shaffekl...PLEASE hang in there! I have had panic and anxiety for most of my life, and YES it was worse going thru w/d. For the first few days I had the same "electric shock" feelings. I am assuming this is the antidepressant part of w/d from tram. Also, it is very common to feel tingly thru out your body prior to the onset of a panic attack. I know you want your life back, and you will get it back. This stupid drug makes you question yourself soooooo much, but you know deep down that you are stronger than this little white pill. WE ALL ARE! or we wouldnt be on this forum.
You are not alone......I felt exactly like you are feeling now, and I know it is hard to believe, but it will pass.
I am on day 19, and although I still struggle with anxiety, I feel so much better than in those first days.
I have alot to say and ask, but I want to respond now to you shaffekl. I know its been awhile since you posted, so let me know if your o-k.
Sincerely-suzi
First-to shaffekl...PLEASE hang in there! I have had panic and anxiety for most of my life, and YES it was worse going thru w/d. For the first few days I had the same "electric shock" feelings. I am assuming this is the antidepressant part of w/d from tram. Also, it is very common to feel tingly thru out your body prior to the onset of a panic attack. I know you want your life back, and you will get it back. This stupid drug makes you question yourself soooooo much, but you know deep down that you are stronger than this little white pill. WE ALL ARE! or we wouldnt be on this forum.
You are not alone......I felt exactly like you are feeling now, and I know it is hard to believe, but it will pass.
I am on day 19, and although I still struggle with anxiety, I feel so much better than in those first days.
I have alot to say and ask, but I want to respond now to you shaffekl. I know its been awhile since you posted, so let me know if your o-k.
Sincerely-suzi
To all, the panic has passed. Thanks for the responses because I no longer feel so alone in this battle. The w/d can get so darn intense. Each minute seems like an hour. It is 11pm and I cant sit still and I'm to weak to move. My mother has some melitonin has anybody tried this for sleep. I am back on track. I have avoided the strongest counter attack from the demon pill. I never want to feel this way again. I have taken immodium on a 4 hour cycle, should I lay back? I want to be happy and start a new life with out the trams. Fireman since mylife has been flipped upside down and have no income coming in at this time, what would be the most important vitimans do you think are the most important because i must steal to get anything, joking. but really i have little money. thank you all so much and god bless
I feel stronger!
I feel stronger!
Hello again- I am soooooooo amazed at the people on here.
It is very helpful to have this site to go to any time day or night.
Like I said, I am on day 19, and for the most part, dont feel too bad. It comes and goes (depressive thoughts tend to stay). I just read about the tanning bed! I am in the skincare business so I have avoided tanning for a while now. BUT, now I have an excuse to go tanning Yea!!!
I am still experiencing some major stomach distress however. I am sooooooo bloated all the time. yuck!! my belly hurts to touch it , and I look pregnnant (I'm not).
I have also gained 12 lbs. from the last day I took tram. Thats a lot in that short of period. Anyone else dealing with weight gain?
Now for my ramble.......As I was tapering, my husband was happy to see me doing so, and then when I took my last one , he was even happier. He couldnt wait to get his "pre-tramadol" wife back.
He was so excited to get back to normal after 5 years of living with an unpredictable, moody, unaffectionate person.
Well. as we all here know, it doesnt happen overnight.
By day 4 or 5 (cant remember)- he just couldnt understand why I wasnt completely changed, and ready to jump into bed(yes, our s**life was practically non existent while on tram)......etc.etc. It was very difficult to make him understand just how awful I felt, and still do to a degree. I was watching celebrity rehab on t.v. today, and he made the comment that I couldnt really be an addict because I didnt act as crazy as some of those people, nor did I shoot up.
Lets see- I was taking 3 times my prescription, lieing to people etc.....you guys know what an addict is. But it can be very difficult when your trying your very hardest to NOT take pills, and your spouse just looks at you like "oh honey, you'll be fine, it cant be that bad"
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
It is that bad!!! And then its worse. and then its better. and then its worse again.
For 5 years I was unpredictable, moody and unaffectionate. Now I am still all those things but with a clearer mind. I now KNOW I am all those things and am ever so slowly changing.
Like Emily has talked so much about- the fog is lifting. I see things differently, I feel things differently.
I guess I wanted him to be proud of me for stopping, but after I stopped, he started dwelling on the last 5 years of so-called he** he has lived with.
WOW-I didnt realize it was that bad, but like I said, the "fog" is lifting. I actually thought the pills were making me a better, funnier person. And we all know what a lie that is. The big tramadol hoax.
Anyways- I never thought about this part of recovery.
The Aftermath. I dont hear a lot of people talk about it. Now I feel like I have to make up for 5 years, and thats a lot of pressure. I know I can only move forward, and be the best I can be today, but I still carry lots of guilt.
I am trying hard everyday to make a diference. But ya know, somedays you just dont feel like it.
I can picture how I want my life to be, but lack the motivaton to get there.
I dont want to give someone struggling the idea that it doesnt get better because it does. It gets way better! And nothing
is worth going backwards.
I just wanted to share, as Emily helped so much early on and still is. Thanks to the rest of you as well. Fred, your posts are incredible. Thank you.
Hopefully Goodnight to all,
Suzi
It is very helpful to have this site to go to any time day or night.
Like I said, I am on day 19, and for the most part, dont feel too bad. It comes and goes (depressive thoughts tend to stay). I just read about the tanning bed! I am in the skincare business so I have avoided tanning for a while now. BUT, now I have an excuse to go tanning Yea!!!
I am still experiencing some major stomach distress however. I am sooooooo bloated all the time. yuck!! my belly hurts to touch it , and I look pregnnant (I'm not).
I have also gained 12 lbs. from the last day I took tram. Thats a lot in that short of period. Anyone else dealing with weight gain?
Now for my ramble.......As I was tapering, my husband was happy to see me doing so, and then when I took my last one , he was even happier. He couldnt wait to get his "pre-tramadol" wife back.
He was so excited to get back to normal after 5 years of living with an unpredictable, moody, unaffectionate person.
Well. as we all here know, it doesnt happen overnight.
By day 4 or 5 (cant remember)- he just couldnt understand why I wasnt completely changed, and ready to jump into bed(yes, our s**life was practically non existent while on tram)......etc.etc. It was very difficult to make him understand just how awful I felt, and still do to a degree. I was watching celebrity rehab on t.v. today, and he made the comment that I couldnt really be an addict because I didnt act as crazy as some of those people, nor did I shoot up.
Lets see- I was taking 3 times my prescription, lieing to people etc.....you guys know what an addict is. But it can be very difficult when your trying your very hardest to NOT take pills, and your spouse just looks at you like "oh honey, you'll be fine, it cant be that bad"
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
It is that bad!!! And then its worse. and then its better. and then its worse again.
For 5 years I was unpredictable, moody and unaffectionate. Now I am still all those things but with a clearer mind. I now KNOW I am all those things and am ever so slowly changing.
Like Emily has talked so much about- the fog is lifting. I see things differently, I feel things differently.
I guess I wanted him to be proud of me for stopping, but after I stopped, he started dwelling on the last 5 years of so-called he** he has lived with.
WOW-I didnt realize it was that bad, but like I said, the "fog" is lifting. I actually thought the pills were making me a better, funnier person. And we all know what a lie that is. The big tramadol hoax.
Anyways- I never thought about this part of recovery.
The Aftermath. I dont hear a lot of people talk about it. Now I feel like I have to make up for 5 years, and thats a lot of pressure. I know I can only move forward, and be the best I can be today, but I still carry lots of guilt.
I am trying hard everyday to make a diference. But ya know, somedays you just dont feel like it.
I can picture how I want my life to be, but lack the motivaton to get there.
I dont want to give someone struggling the idea that it doesnt get better because it does. It gets way better! And nothing
is worth going backwards.
I just wanted to share, as Emily helped so much early on and still is. Thanks to the rest of you as well. Fred, your posts are incredible. Thank you.
Hopefully Goodnight to all,
Suzi
shaffekl - So much has happened here the past 24 hours that I have spent the past houror so, just catching you with your progress. I applaud Suzi's encouraging words and it sounds from your most recent post, that things may be settling down for you.
But if you haven't put any tram into your system in 4-5 days now, the worst should soon be behind you.
So three baths tonight so far eh?
By now, it should be clear to anyone reading these posts that I am not the "guy" to see about the chemical analysis of the latest and greatest products to help in this withdrawal thing. BUT I AM A BIG BATH GUY, so you got my attention. I don't take baths on a regular, normal basis, but for medicinal purposes, I'm all over it. TMI? They helped me tremendously last week when the creepy crawly zapper painful feelings had me going nuts.
Here's the REALLY crazy thing about this withdrawal, if you were addicted to this bad boy the way that I was for six years, it seems fair to say that we either had: (1) a really steady online supply and never experienced monthly withdrawal, or (2) we experienced withdrawal on a monthly basis. As in, take the first three week's supply of t in the first two weeks and then withdraw as we "tapered" duing the later part of the month. (Geez, I don't think that I ever thought of what I did in the later part of every month as "tapering" before.)
I guess my point is that I knew the joys of withdrawal LONG before I decided to quit on my own terms this time. Part of what got me though the last part of nearly every single month during the time BEFORE I went cold turkey last week, was BATHS. And Shaffekl - my record is SIX baths in one night. So you best grab a handful of towells, take a bath tube toy in with you and get back in the tub. Because by my count, you STILL have four more to go tonight if you want to beat my record!
Seriously, don't give up before the miracle happens for you, OK?
Fred
But if you haven't put any tram into your system in 4-5 days now, the worst should soon be behind you.
So three baths tonight so far eh?
By now, it should be clear to anyone reading these posts that I am not the "guy" to see about the chemical analysis of the latest and greatest products to help in this withdrawal thing. BUT I AM A BIG BATH GUY, so you got my attention. I don't take baths on a regular, normal basis, but for medicinal purposes, I'm all over it. TMI? They helped me tremendously last week when the creepy crawly zapper painful feelings had me going nuts.
Here's the REALLY crazy thing about this withdrawal, if you were addicted to this bad boy the way that I was for six years, it seems fair to say that we either had: (1) a really steady online supply and never experienced monthly withdrawal, or (2) we experienced withdrawal on a monthly basis. As in, take the first three week's supply of t in the first two weeks and then withdraw as we "tapered" duing the later part of the month. (Geez, I don't think that I ever thought of what I did in the later part of every month as "tapering" before.)
I guess my point is that I knew the joys of withdrawal LONG before I decided to quit on my own terms this time. Part of what got me though the last part of nearly every single month during the time BEFORE I went cold turkey last week, was BATHS. And Shaffekl - my record is SIX baths in one night. So you best grab a handful of towells, take a bath tube toy in with you and get back in the tub. Because by my count, you STILL have four more to go tonight if you want to beat my record!
Seriously, don't give up before the miracle happens for you, OK?
Fred
Suzi, You have raised some VERY valid and interesting issues regarding "the aftermath" or the "family afterward" type stuff. I had prepared a fairly lengthy response, but I did something silly and *poof*, I lost it. Maybe it's just as well that it went *poof* or I might be banished to some other MedHelp site dealing with things other than addiction (TO DRUGS) !
I suppose if I am unqualified to render advice on which vitamins to take to assist in one's withdrawal, I have no business offering advice on the impact of tramadol on our relationship with our spouses. Suffice it to be said, I DEFINATELY do concur with your thoughts and concerns here.
OK, I am winding up again... I too must confess that this drug made me unpredictable, moody, and an unaffectionate person as well while I was on it. And I think it would be fair to say that the affect on men goes well beyond the emotional mood thing too. Definately not gods' gift to sexual health and relationships to be sure. (did I do OK so far in the discrete category?)
I think we all do need to be gentle with ourselves. In this area too, the key is progress not perfection. And I have never been a big proponent of guilt. As far as I am concerned, no good thing ever came about as a result of attempts to make someone else change their behavior by "virtue" of guilt.
I seriously doubt that anyone who has never been addicted to a drug such as tramadol, GETS what it was like for us, how miserable it was to get off it, or possibly on the ongoing impact of our past use on current relationships. And that would include doctors, friends, and spouses. This is not to say that our doctors, friends, or spouses do not care a great deal about these things, it is just that too often, they didn't get what it was like while we were using it, they didn't appreciate what it took to get off it, and I am not altogether sure they realize that recovery is more than the 4 days of "hard time" it took BEGIN our recovery, yet just a day at a time.
It is probably incumbant on us all to eventually sit down and have a heart to heart with our loved ones IN OUR OWN TIME...I suppose...
Possibly someone else has a better idea on some of these things...but we do need to be a bit discrete here I think.
Oh, and the weight gain? I was thinking of bath tubs, so I just stepped on the scale and indeed, I have gained six pounds in 8 days. YIKES! I heard discussions about weight gain before, but I pretty well blew it off. Now I suppose I'll need to join another MedHelp website for overweight people if i can't get a handle on it. Thanks for calling these things to my attention - I think...
Fred
I suppose if I am unqualified to render advice on which vitamins to take to assist in one's withdrawal, I have no business offering advice on the impact of tramadol on our relationship with our spouses. Suffice it to be said, I DEFINATELY do concur with your thoughts and concerns here.
OK, I am winding up again... I too must confess that this drug made me unpredictable, moody, and an unaffectionate person as well while I was on it. And I think it would be fair to say that the affect on men goes well beyond the emotional mood thing too. Definately not gods' gift to sexual health and relationships to be sure. (did I do OK so far in the discrete category?)
I think we all do need to be gentle with ourselves. In this area too, the key is progress not perfection. And I have never been a big proponent of guilt. As far as I am concerned, no good thing ever came about as a result of attempts to make someone else change their behavior by "virtue" of guilt.
I seriously doubt that anyone who has never been addicted to a drug such as tramadol, GETS what it was like for us, how miserable it was to get off it, or possibly on the ongoing impact of our past use on current relationships. And that would include doctors, friends, and spouses. This is not to say that our doctors, friends, or spouses do not care a great deal about these things, it is just that too often, they didn't get what it was like while we were using it, they didn't appreciate what it took to get off it, and I am not altogether sure they realize that recovery is more than the 4 days of "hard time" it took BEGIN our recovery, yet just a day at a time.
It is probably incumbant on us all to eventually sit down and have a heart to heart with our loved ones IN OUR OWN TIME...I suppose...
Possibly someone else has a better idea on some of these things...but we do need to be a bit discrete here I think.
Oh, and the weight gain? I was thinking of bath tubs, so I just stepped on the scale and indeed, I have gained six pounds in 8 days. YIKES! I heard discussions about weight gain before, but I pretty well blew it off. Now I suppose I'll need to join another MedHelp website for overweight people if i can't get a handle on it. Thanks for calling these things to my attention - I think...
Fred
Shaffekl, I would say the most important vitamins to get are:
1. B12 Sub lingual Tabs.
2. l-Theanine
3.GABA Sub lingual Tabs.
Also you mentioned one of the vitamins I forgot. (MELATONIN). Yes it will help you sleep. You don't have to buy it since you already have it. Try to drink some sleepy time herbal tea and take a couple Tylenol PM's. Unisom is a over the counter sleep aid that works better than Tylenol PM if you want to go out and get some.
1. B12 Sub lingual Tabs.
2. l-Theanine
3.GABA Sub lingual Tabs.
Also you mentioned one of the vitamins I forgot. (MELATONIN). Yes it will help you sleep. You don't have to buy it since you already have it. Try to drink some sleepy time herbal tea and take a couple Tylenol PM's. Unisom is a over the counter sleep aid that works better than Tylenol PM if you want to go out and get some.
I am actually feeling better today. The night was bad, but once i fell asleep I slept for about four straight hours. This is huge for me. I really hope todays continues you t be a little more pleasant than the last 5. I feel that I could get out of the house today. to do what I don't know yet. probably get these vitamins that fireman has mentioned.
I have personally not gained any weight yet. Then again I havent had the strenght to eat.
One day at a time!
I have personally not gained any weight yet. Then again I havent had the strenght to eat.
One day at a time!
So today is day 7 for me. I slept last night from 11:00 until 5:30 this morning so I feel fabulous. I took a yoga class last night that I haven't taken since my back started bothering me in May. This instructor is so hard that I actually swore out loud in class the first time I took it. Not very "yoga" of me. I managed to work all day yesterday, went to school and dropped off a final, went to the class from 7:30-8:30 came home and ate a tortilla with some cheese. Watched a CSI with the husband, then took a shower, the 2 Arrested Developments then bed. I did take the lowest does of carbidopa for my pre-existing RLS, but I one day would like to not take that either.
I stumbled upon this site while trying to find out if my doctor was correct that "my dosage was too low and was taking it for too short a time to experience any withdrawal symptoms." The resounding response from everyone was, "You are not crazy!" You have no idea how hearing that can just make me feel better. I handle mental stress very well, but if something is not right with my body I go into complete panic mode. So feeling like this compiled with the fact that I still have a job to do, finals this week, my mother is visiting tomorrow and I have a craft show this weekend, made me completely lose it. When my doctor suggested that I go back on and then taper, I sort of thought, "Well, this isn't a really good time for this. Maybe that is what I should do." But if not now, when? Is it ever a good time to feel debilitating sickness? And for me, really, what a better time? Sure I have finals, but as my husband has explained to me, "Even if you just completely phone it in, you will still pass the classes. Calm down. As long as you get credit, that's all that matters." My mom is coming but I have 5 days in a row off of work. And plus, sometimes when you don't feel well, it's nice to have your mommy around. This means I'll be able to get fresh air and sunshine (well as much sunshine as you can get during December in Portland).
For those of you who don't know my story, here it is. My affair with Tramadol has been brief. I injured myself in a snowboarding accident in February. It was a head over heels fall and I injured my ankle which is pretty difficult to do in snowboarding boots. I was given Vicodin for the ankle injury which healed by April, but the back pain soon followed. It was probably a combination of the fall with being on crutches for several weeks. I worked through it to the end of May, but I was unable to exercise, which is unacceptable to me. I also try not to drive when I don't have to and even walking around the neighborhood was causing me pain. So I went back to the doctor who referred me for PT and prescribed more vicodin. So I took that from May unitl September when I asked for a non-narcotic. Enter Tramadol. I was taking 100 mgs 2 x per day. Occasionaly 50 mgs mid-day if I had a rough workout or something. I did not feel "addicted." I wasn't ordering of the "interwebz." I was just taking it as prescribed. My back stopped hurting so I stopped taking it. I took one pill last Thursday morning as a "test" to make sure my back really was well and didn't need it that night so I didn't take it. By Friday afternoon I was shaking and sweating and couldn't stop moving. Day five (Monday) was by far the worst. I prayed for death a million times. I had to call my husband to come home from work to help me. My doctor suggested the taper and that was the breaking point for me. No more!
For those of you out there doing this, I got through yesterday, Day Six with little incident. I even managed not to cry even once. I slept last night. I am now having "brain zaps" similar to what I had when I stopped taking Effexor, but those are bearable. What is bad for me now is the anger that I feel. I almost feel like it would be less anger inducing if I really HAD a serious problem. I'm not saying that any of you out here who have an actual mental addiction to this drug have a choice in the matter. Addiction is a disease and should be treated as such. But as someone without a mental addiction problem, it would have been my CHOICE to pick up more medication and take more of my recommended dose to get high or even just feel normal. It is the fact that I thought I was being a compliant patient and doing what was best for me that makes me the most angry.
To those of you out there who are still actually in pain and are doing this, I am amazed by you. You all seriously are my new heroes. Emily, even though I have not posted on this previously, know that your journal entries have been a great inspiration. Your dedication to kicking your habit after so many years, while still in pain, is simply awe inspiring. So is your ability to write so eloquently about your experience. I don't think this is the end of my struggle, but I just want to give a big thank you to all of you out there who have been strong enough to get through this and find strength in others. Thank you for never dismissing my concerns by telling me that "I'm not a real addict" and that I should get over it and that other people have it worse than I do. After 7 days, I feel like a veteran who call tell those out there on Day 3 or 4, that it will get better. It might get worse before it gets better, but once it does it is worth it 100%.
I stumbled upon this site while trying to find out if my doctor was correct that "my dosage was too low and was taking it for too short a time to experience any withdrawal symptoms." The resounding response from everyone was, "You are not crazy!" You have no idea how hearing that can just make me feel better. I handle mental stress very well, but if something is not right with my body I go into complete panic mode. So feeling like this compiled with the fact that I still have a job to do, finals this week, my mother is visiting tomorrow and I have a craft show this weekend, made me completely lose it. When my doctor suggested that I go back on and then taper, I sort of thought, "Well, this isn't a really good time for this. Maybe that is what I should do." But if not now, when? Is it ever a good time to feel debilitating sickness? And for me, really, what a better time? Sure I have finals, but as my husband has explained to me, "Even if you just completely phone it in, you will still pass the classes. Calm down. As long as you get credit, that's all that matters." My mom is coming but I have 5 days in a row off of work. And plus, sometimes when you don't feel well, it's nice to have your mommy around. This means I'll be able to get fresh air and sunshine (well as much sunshine as you can get during December in Portland).
For those of you who don't know my story, here it is. My affair with Tramadol has been brief. I injured myself in a snowboarding accident in February. It was a head over heels fall and I injured my ankle which is pretty difficult to do in snowboarding boots. I was given Vicodin for the ankle injury which healed by April, but the back pain soon followed. It was probably a combination of the fall with being on crutches for several weeks. I worked through it to the end of May, but I was unable to exercise, which is unacceptable to me. I also try not to drive when I don't have to and even walking around the neighborhood was causing me pain. So I went back to the doctor who referred me for PT and prescribed more vicodin. So I took that from May unitl September when I asked for a non-narcotic. Enter Tramadol. I was taking 100 mgs 2 x per day. Occasionaly 50 mgs mid-day if I had a rough workout or something. I did not feel "addicted." I wasn't ordering of the "interwebz." I was just taking it as prescribed. My back stopped hurting so I stopped taking it. I took one pill last Thursday morning as a "test" to make sure my back really was well and didn't need it that night so I didn't take it. By Friday afternoon I was shaking and sweating and couldn't stop moving. Day five (Monday) was by far the worst. I prayed for death a million times. I had to call my husband to come home from work to help me. My doctor suggested the taper and that was the breaking point for me. No more!
For those of you out there doing this, I got through yesterday, Day Six with little incident. I even managed not to cry even once. I slept last night. I am now having "brain zaps" similar to what I had when I stopped taking Effexor, but those are bearable. What is bad for me now is the anger that I feel. I almost feel like it would be less anger inducing if I really HAD a serious problem. I'm not saying that any of you out here who have an actual mental addiction to this drug have a choice in the matter. Addiction is a disease and should be treated as such. But as someone without a mental addiction problem, it would have been my CHOICE to pick up more medication and take more of my recommended dose to get high or even just feel normal. It is the fact that I thought I was being a compliant patient and doing what was best for me that makes me the most angry.
To those of you out there who are still actually in pain and are doing this, I am amazed by you. You all seriously are my new heroes. Emily, even though I have not posted on this previously, know that your journal entries have been a great inspiration. Your dedication to kicking your habit after so many years, while still in pain, is simply awe inspiring. So is your ability to write so eloquently about your experience. I don't think this is the end of my struggle, but I just want to give a big thank you to all of you out there who have been strong enough to get through this and find strength in others. Thank you for never dismissing my concerns by telling me that "I'm not a real addict" and that I should get over it and that other people have it worse than I do. After 7 days, I feel like a veteran who call tell those out there on Day 3 or 4, that it will get better. It might get worse before it gets better, but once it does it is worth it 100%.
Frog, your situation was similar to mine. I am no longer in pain from anything so it made it easier for you and I too quit. Your words were very inspirational. I'm lucky being I noticed I was addicted to Tramadol after 4 months and not 4 years. I think the short length of time I was on it considerably shortened my withdraw symptoms big time. Even though I was taking 8-11 50mg pills a day, my withdraw was short and not as bad as some others described. I also think the vitamins I took had a big part in the healing process. After getting off the Tramadol, all I want to do now is get back into the gym, eat healthy, put my weight back on and just live my old life. I am almost there!
GL to you and remember....................... stay away from the Tram =)
GL to you and remember....................... stay away from the Tram =)
Lunch time means I can get back here with my friends...
PHYSICAL ADDICTION: This drug is PHYSICALLY addictive. Why does anyone of us have such drastic PHYSICAL withdrawal symptoms, when, Frog, as you so beautifully/accurately described, "I was shaking and sweating and couldn't stop moving. Day five (Monday) was by far the worst. I prayed for death a million times". NOPE, if this drug was ONLY mental and not physical, nobody would be experiencing such DRASTIC PHYSICAL symptoms, as those you have described. I felt these withdrawal symptoms every time I cut my daily dose down at all. "Tapering" is no picnic either. I know.
TOLERANCE: Our bodies build up a tolerance to the drug, such that the longer you take this medication, one finds that the same amount, no longer keeps the user feeling "not unwell" I like that phrase, "not unwell", because I never did feel well in all the years that I took the drug. The best I can muster to describe how the drug made me feel, is that it usually made me feel..."NOT UNWELL".
So over time, regardless of the dose you are taking, eventually the body builds up a tolerance to that amount of the drug. In other words, that amount, no longer makes you feel NOT UNWELL.
SOOO, what long term patients who are preseribed the drug like me did, was to take more of the drug when I had it, to overcome the tolerance that my body had developed over the years. So instead of taking the prescribed 8 - 50 mg pills/day, I took say 10/day when I had them (EARLY in the RX cycle). So by the end of the month, I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms like the ones so abptly described on this site. And I thank God that I never ordered online, cause I SERIOUSLY DOUBT I WOULD BE OFF these today if I had gone there. ( I told that story some days back)
And the doctors do not seem to understand "tolerance", they aren't about to increase your dose to account for it, and frankly they lack any understanding of what withdrawal off this evil dug is like. I know. I asked my ortho surgeon about this two weeks ago and she confessed she did not know anything about what withdrawal from this drug is like.
I have heard from people who become physically addicted after just one week on tamadol. They stop taking it and WHAM, they are shaking, sweating, aching, not sleeping, and they can't figure out why. I have someone I deeply care about - who is taking tramadol. This person has been taking them for OA for six months and taking only 5 pills/day...and there is not a chance in HELL that any amount of advice from me will convince her that she have could have developed a physical addiction to the drug.
I don't recommend this lightly, but the best way for a person to see whether they have formed a physical addiction to this drug is to stop taking it for 48 hours and see how they feel afterwards. If anyone were to tatke that simple "test", I am fairly sure they will be looking for help.
BUT SADLY, WE KNOW THE TRUTH. And yes, I get anry when I think about how this pill is prescribed as the "non-addictive" alternative to narcotic drugs. One Sunday night, we will turn on 60 minutes, and Scott Pelle will be talking about this problem.
It is a good thing that we have one another to help OVERCOME our common physical addiction to tramadol. I haven't had the time, but I really want to investigate/reasearch more about the history of this drug, what studies have been done, and why it is that this thing is so available and unscheduled.
And Shaffekl, after my blabbering last night about baths, guess what? For the first time in several days without having "pins and needles" in my feet, when I went to bed last night, those symptoms returned. Must be the random nature of this recovery some have spoken off. I was so sure I was past that after nine days off tramadol So I couldn't sleep (again) and I resorted to a soak in the tub at 2 a.m.
Focus/Concentration: For the most part, my attitude is that I just need to keep pushing and plow through my work. I expect a great deal of myself and on a good day, I rarely accomplish everything that I set out to do. So when I returned to work on Monday, I left the "victim" cloak in the closet and determined to plow through work as usual.
But I am finding that it is harder to read, focus, analyse, and pull the pin on big decisions at work. I am finding myself talking more and accomplishing less. So the work piles up. But I'll just keep taking THAT aspect of recovery one day at a time too ...just like you guys are teaching me to do.
Fireman, thanks for sticking around and sharing. We need you.
Mom won't recognize the neighborhood the next time she logs on. The place is EXPLODING with a great number of meaningful posts!!! Keep em coming. Fred
PHYSICAL ADDICTION: This drug is PHYSICALLY addictive. Why does anyone of us have such drastic PHYSICAL withdrawal symptoms, when, Frog, as you so beautifully/accurately described, "I was shaking and sweating and couldn't stop moving. Day five (Monday) was by far the worst. I prayed for death a million times". NOPE, if this drug was ONLY mental and not physical, nobody would be experiencing such DRASTIC PHYSICAL symptoms, as those you have described. I felt these withdrawal symptoms every time I cut my daily dose down at all. "Tapering" is no picnic either. I know.
TOLERANCE: Our bodies build up a tolerance to the drug, such that the longer you take this medication, one finds that the same amount, no longer keeps the user feeling "not unwell" I like that phrase, "not unwell", because I never did feel well in all the years that I took the drug. The best I can muster to describe how the drug made me feel, is that it usually made me feel..."NOT UNWELL".
So over time, regardless of the dose you are taking, eventually the body builds up a tolerance to that amount of the drug. In other words, that amount, no longer makes you feel NOT UNWELL.
SOOO, what long term patients who are preseribed the drug like me did, was to take more of the drug when I had it, to overcome the tolerance that my body had developed over the years. So instead of taking the prescribed 8 - 50 mg pills/day, I took say 10/day when I had them (EARLY in the RX cycle). So by the end of the month, I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms like the ones so abptly described on this site. And I thank God that I never ordered online, cause I SERIOUSLY DOUBT I WOULD BE OFF these today if I had gone there. ( I told that story some days back)
And the doctors do not seem to understand "tolerance", they aren't about to increase your dose to account for it, and frankly they lack any understanding of what withdrawal off this evil dug is like. I know. I asked my ortho surgeon about this two weeks ago and she confessed she did not know anything about what withdrawal from this drug is like.
I have heard from people who become physically addicted after just one week on tamadol. They stop taking it and WHAM, they are shaking, sweating, aching, not sleeping, and they can't figure out why. I have someone I deeply care about - who is taking tramadol. This person has been taking them for OA for six months and taking only 5 pills/day...and there is not a chance in HELL that any amount of advice from me will convince her that she have could have developed a physical addiction to the drug.
I don't recommend this lightly, but the best way for a person to see whether they have formed a physical addiction to this drug is to stop taking it for 48 hours and see how they feel afterwards. If anyone were to tatke that simple "test", I am fairly sure they will be looking for help.
BUT SADLY, WE KNOW THE TRUTH. And yes, I get anry when I think about how this pill is prescribed as the "non-addictive" alternative to narcotic drugs. One Sunday night, we will turn on 60 minutes, and Scott Pelle will be talking about this problem.
It is a good thing that we have one another to help OVERCOME our common physical addiction to tramadol. I haven't had the time, but I really want to investigate/reasearch more about the history of this drug, what studies have been done, and why it is that this thing is so available and unscheduled.
And Shaffekl, after my blabbering last night about baths, guess what? For the first time in several days without having "pins and needles" in my feet, when I went to bed last night, those symptoms returned. Must be the random nature of this recovery some have spoken off. I was so sure I was past that after nine days off tramadol So I couldn't sleep (again) and I resorted to a soak in the tub at 2 a.m.
Focus/Concentration: For the most part, my attitude is that I just need to keep pushing and plow through my work. I expect a great deal of myself and on a good day, I rarely accomplish everything that I set out to do. So when I returned to work on Monday, I left the "victim" cloak in the closet and determined to plow through work as usual.
But I am finding that it is harder to read, focus, analyse, and pull the pin on big decisions at work. I am finding myself talking more and accomplishing less. So the work piles up. But I'll just keep taking THAT aspect of recovery one day at a time too ...just like you guys are teaching me to do.
Fireman, thanks for sticking around and sharing. We need you.
Mom won't recognize the neighborhood the next time she logs on. The place is EXPLODING with a great number of meaningful posts!!! Keep em coming. Fred
Hello all-
I would like to apologize if I offended anyone with my straight talk about side effects I experienced while on tram.
It was late last night, and It felt good to vent somewhat. sorry, I will be more discreet next time.
I also wanted to respond to some comments about tramadol being a mental addiction only.
I ,too, took tram as prescribed for 1 year, for chronic endometriosis. The pain became overwhelming, and tramadol was the only SAFE drug I would take. I thought I was being a "good patient"as well. Had no intention of taking it to get high at first, but that turned into a perk for me.
When the pain started getting worse, it made sense to me and my dr. to raise my dosage. So we did.
Well, then that dosage didnt work any longer either, so I raised it myself.
(I did resort to the internet, of which I am not proud) At this point I was taking the drug so I wouldnt feel the side effects of NOT taking it. I will be honest, however, YES it did make me feel good when I would raise my dose, but that "feeling" is very shortlived. Then it became a battle just to try to feel normal and get thru each day. I have 3 children, and that is a 24 hr. job. As we all know.
I think ANYONE who manages to get off this drug is a HERO!!
EVEN THOSE WHO ARE NOT STILL IN PAIN OR NEVER WAS IN PAIN TO BEGIN WITH!
I still live with the original pain I have had for 20 years, and the only way to get rid of that is to have surgery, and that thought scares me..............because what will they give me for pain after surgery????
To Fred- you make such powerful statements, and I thank you once again.
Good luck to everyone fighting this battle- no matter the reason you started!
Suzi
I would like to apologize if I offended anyone with my straight talk about side effects I experienced while on tram.
It was late last night, and It felt good to vent somewhat. sorry, I will be more discreet next time.
I also wanted to respond to some comments about tramadol being a mental addiction only.
I ,too, took tram as prescribed for 1 year, for chronic endometriosis. The pain became overwhelming, and tramadol was the only SAFE drug I would take. I thought I was being a "good patient"as well. Had no intention of taking it to get high at first, but that turned into a perk for me.
When the pain started getting worse, it made sense to me and my dr. to raise my dosage. So we did.
Well, then that dosage didnt work any longer either, so I raised it myself.
(I did resort to the internet, of which I am not proud) At this point I was taking the drug so I wouldnt feel the side effects of NOT taking it. I will be honest, however, YES it did make me feel good when I would raise my dose, but that "feeling" is very shortlived. Then it became a battle just to try to feel normal and get thru each day. I have 3 children, and that is a 24 hr. job. As we all know.
I think ANYONE who manages to get off this drug is a HERO!!
EVEN THOSE WHO ARE NOT STILL IN PAIN OR NEVER WAS IN PAIN TO BEGIN WITH!
I still live with the original pain I have had for 20 years, and the only way to get rid of that is to have surgery, and that thought scares me..............because what will they give me for pain after surgery????
To Fred- you make such powerful statements, and I thank you once again.
Good luck to everyone fighting this battle- no matter the reason you started!
Suzi
Suzipen,
I hope you didn't misunderstand my comments. Of course I understand that this is not a mental addiction! That was my whole point. It is obviously physical. Now that it is nearly out of my system and I am not in pain, I don't feel any compulsion mentally to take the medication. It was simply a means to an end for me to feel in less pain and my body developed an addicition. I just meant that I might feel less angry about it if I DID have a mental addiction. I know that isn't exactly rational. I think that because I'm not a person who is prone to addiction I would have somehow had a choice in the matter. Sometimes I just find it easier to blame myself than anyone else. I feel like I have more control that way. For people who have addiction issues, I assume that the choice is less clear and most times, not a choice at all. Anyway, sorry if I offended you. To say that this is "all in our heads" was certainly not what I meant at all.
DF
I hope you didn't misunderstand my comments. Of course I understand that this is not a mental addiction! That was my whole point. It is obviously physical. Now that it is nearly out of my system and I am not in pain, I don't feel any compulsion mentally to take the medication. It was simply a means to an end for me to feel in less pain and my body developed an addicition. I just meant that I might feel less angry about it if I DID have a mental addiction. I know that isn't exactly rational. I think that because I'm not a person who is prone to addiction I would have somehow had a choice in the matter. Sometimes I just find it easier to blame myself than anyone else. I feel like I have more control that way. For people who have addiction issues, I assume that the choice is less clear and most times, not a choice at all. Anyway, sorry if I offended you. To say that this is "all in our heads" was certainly not what I meant at all.
DF
DF,
I really think I can relate to you as I have always prided myself on being in control of my life. It was extremely hard for me to admit that I was not in control anymore, and eventually that was what led me to stop taking it. This is actually my second time around . I got off a around 2 years ago, and was fine for a few months. But then WAM, I thought I was strong enough to just take one. Thats how easily it started again for me. So, I have now admitted and resigned myself to the fact that I am not in control when it comes to this drug.
And yes, I am angry too. Angry with myself for not being strong enough, angry with the drug companies who lie to the dr.s, angry with the dr.s who dont take the time to research a drug before prescribing it..............and fearful that I will want to take it again, and I wont be strong enough to resist. Even tho I know firsthand the really awful w/d, and the veil that it ever so gently lays upon you, fooling you into thinking you feel better taking it.
You are right. It is a choice, but for some people (like me) that choice becomes very unclear.
Anyway- no offense taken, I hope I didnt offend either.
We are all here to support each other and to learn from one another, and CONGRATS on making it thru day 7!
Thats a whole week, and I know it feels good to say that.
Sincerely, Suzi
I really think I can relate to you as I have always prided myself on being in control of my life. It was extremely hard for me to admit that I was not in control anymore, and eventually that was what led me to stop taking it. This is actually my second time around . I got off a around 2 years ago, and was fine for a few months. But then WAM, I thought I was strong enough to just take one. Thats how easily it started again for me. So, I have now admitted and resigned myself to the fact that I am not in control when it comes to this drug.
And yes, I am angry too. Angry with myself for not being strong enough, angry with the drug companies who lie to the dr.s, angry with the dr.s who dont take the time to research a drug before prescribing it..............and fearful that I will want to take it again, and I wont be strong enough to resist. Even tho I know firsthand the really awful w/d, and the veil that it ever so gently lays upon you, fooling you into thinking you feel better taking it.
You are right. It is a choice, but for some people (like me) that choice becomes very unclear.
Anyway- no offense taken, I hope I didnt offend either.
We are all here to support each other and to learn from one another, and CONGRATS on making it thru day 7!
Thats a whole week, and I know it feels good to say that.
Sincerely, Suzi
The idea that you could quit for anybody but yourself is a mistake. Thats what I did the first time I went through this with norco. We all have different stories but were all here for one reason and that is to win this war against the devil pill. Its a war to regain ourselves from the overbearing power of this drug, physical and mental. I said I felt better this morning but now the aches, pains, guilt have all returned. I have to spend all my energy fighting these withdrawl symptoms. This is it now or never. Like I said before I lost my fiance, my job and my apartment all because of the tram. This is a fight for my life. And you all have help me so much. I care so much for everyones recovery. One day at a time.
Fireman, I did get the vitamins you recomended and look forward trying them and letting others know how it helped.
Fred, is tramadol going to be on 60min for real?
Please, keep posting this has been the best thing for my recovery!
Fireman, I did get the vitamins you recomended and look forward trying them and letting others know how it helped.
Fred, is tramadol going to be on 60min for real?
Please, keep posting this has been the best thing for my recovery!
Hang in there Shaffeki. I have to say I feel fantabulous this evening. Another final exam down. One to go. I can't believe this but this coming off of this has made me a little more low key. I found myself calculating the grade I needed to get to get a C in the course. A C. I am an aim for the sky kind of girl. Anything less than an A has me in the fetal position for a full hour. But after this, I just kind of have a little more perspective. I graduate with a C or an A. It doesn't matter. Very few employers ever ask for a transcript. Besides, I'm 30 freaking years old. I have a job, it pays well. If I do this for three more years or 20, it doesn't really matter. I love my husband and my free time and my friends. I'm not saying that this has made me a "slacker," but like I said. I've gained some perspective. I need to take care of number one. I am no good to anyone if I am not healthy.
I have been eating an a$$ ton of food over the past couple of days. I don't know if this is because I generally eat a low carb diet, but all I want is bread. And cheese. And maybe gummy bears. Oh, and today I wanted a root beer float. But whatever, a few weeks of eating whatever I want isn't going to make that big of a difference if it gets me over the hump.
I went and got some I-theanine and at Fireman 50's suggestion and took some this afternoon. I can see where it might help eventually. I felt a little more even keeled. However it make me feel a little bit like my internal thermometer was broken. Like my insides were cooking or something. But that could have just been the completely unpredictable office thermostat. I got some 5HTP which was already on my list at the suggestion of my aunt. She was a 20 year alcoholic and checked herself into rehab 4 years ago. She was told it was a medication free rehab and when she found out she was being fed Ativan with her supplement she walked out. She went home and did it on her own and has been sober ever since. Anyway, I'm going to take some tonight. I'm about to lay down for the watching of the Netflix, so I'm going to try some of the Haydens Restful Legs.
Have a good night everyone. Hang in there! It truly does get easier. There is an eventual normal. Even if it is a new normal.
I have been eating an a$$ ton of food over the past couple of days. I don't know if this is because I generally eat a low carb diet, but all I want is bread. And cheese. And maybe gummy bears. Oh, and today I wanted a root beer float. But whatever, a few weeks of eating whatever I want isn't going to make that big of a difference if it gets me over the hump.
I went and got some I-theanine and at Fireman 50's suggestion and took some this afternoon. I can see where it might help eventually. I felt a little more even keeled. However it make me feel a little bit like my internal thermometer was broken. Like my insides were cooking or something. But that could have just been the completely unpredictable office thermostat. I got some 5HTP which was already on my list at the suggestion of my aunt. She was a 20 year alcoholic and checked herself into rehab 4 years ago. She was told it was a medication free rehab and when she found out she was being fed Ativan with her supplement she walked out. She went home and did it on her own and has been sober ever since. Anyway, I'm going to take some tonight. I'm about to lay down for the watching of the Netflix, so I'm going to try some of the Haydens Restful Legs.
Have a good night everyone. Hang in there! It truly does get easier. There is an eventual normal. Even if it is a new normal.
Shaffekl, Sparky, Frog and Suzi, I SURE LOVE YOU GUYS.
I poped in late this afternoon from my work PC to read the posts and AM NOW following up on your streams.
WOWIE WOW WOW!
I am impressed by how you guys HAVE GONE out of your way to be careful with one another's feelings and to clarify things said. For a bunch of recovering addicts, we are alright! :) I also really applaud how everyone is working together on our common addiction to TRAMADOL. Beautiful.
The reality is - regardless of HOW we GOT HERE, WHY we got here, WHAT our doctors told us before we got here, whether we have attempted to quit BEFORE we got here, or WHERE be bought or drug before we got here...we are all here now with an addiction that EACH of us is working to KICK. With the truly hellish withdrawal that is involved, joining together makes a great deal of sense. YEAH you guys. Reading your posts kept me clean today - thank you.
If anyone is in day 1-4, you have my sympathy AND admiration.
It's a bit troubling however, to consider all of the people who either have no idea they are addicted, or who are unable to get help. One of the things I am most curious about is the amount of "trafficing" or sales if you will, that takes place online in the USA and/or around the world. I would never judge someone for buying tramadol ANYWHERE but I do get upset at how easily it is pushed at the unsuspecting public online. This drug seems to be America's dirty little secret. Nobody talks about it, nobody objects, and apparently, nobody cares. Imagine how many people are hooked on this stuff RIGHT NOW? When one considers the # of online sites making MILLIONS from which to purchase this drug, the potential for a REAL health care crisis involv
I poped in late this afternoon from my work PC to read the posts and AM NOW following up on your streams.
WOWIE WOW WOW!
I am impressed by how you guys HAVE GONE out of your way to be careful with one another's feelings and to clarify things said. For a bunch of recovering addicts, we are alright! :) I also really applaud how everyone is working together on our common addiction to TRAMADOL. Beautiful.
The reality is - regardless of HOW we GOT HERE, WHY we got here, WHAT our doctors told us before we got here, whether we have attempted to quit BEFORE we got here, or WHERE be bought or drug before we got here...we are all here now with an addiction that EACH of us is working to KICK. With the truly hellish withdrawal that is involved, joining together makes a great deal of sense. YEAH you guys. Reading your posts kept me clean today - thank you.
If anyone is in day 1-4, you have my sympathy AND admiration.
It's a bit troubling however, to consider all of the people who either have no idea they are addicted, or who are unable to get help. One of the things I am most curious about is the amount of "trafficing" or sales if you will, that takes place online in the USA and/or around the world. I would never judge someone for buying tramadol ANYWHERE but I do get upset at how easily it is pushed at the unsuspecting public online. This drug seems to be America's dirty little secret. Nobody talks about it, nobody objects, and apparently, nobody cares. Imagine how many people are hooked on this stuff RIGHT NOW? When one considers the # of online sites making MILLIONS from which to purchase this drug, the potential for a REAL health care crisis involv
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