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Day 45 again! Tramadol Withdrawal. Cold Turkey.

Aug 03, 2008 - 473 comments
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tramadol withdrawal

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Tramadol Detox

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I need more! More information!

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_bad_is_Tramadol_withdrawal

Question - How bad is Tramadol WIthdrawal?
Answer - Ultram (Tramadol) Withdrawal
Tramadol is highly addictive. Normally your doctor would reduce intake slowly. Various withdrawal effects may include shakes, shivers, diarrhea, nausea, and possible flu-like symptoms. Not all people experience will all withdrawal symptoms, and some people may experience others not listed here.

The length of time withdrawal symptoms occur can range from a couple of days to weeks depending on how high your dose was and how long you were on the drug. Withdrawal symptoms can be reduced by discontinuing use of the drug slowly (i.e., gradually reducing the daily dose).

Tramadol is more complex than other opiate and opiate-like medications because it also appears to have actions on the GABAergic, noradrenergic, and serotonergic systems in the brain. This may cause some people feel additional withdrawal symptoms or intensified psychological withdrawal symptoms when discontinuing tramadol.

It is always advised to talk with your doctor before and while discontinuing this medication.

_______________________________________________________________

Yeah. Not my fault that I had to snicker at the last line there because every time I talked to my Doctors (plural) about medications and side effects they told me that Tramadol was NOT the problem. Then there was usually another drug put on top of that Tramadol. And they told me to take more. I always thought it was the other drug, not the Tramadol. Yeah. I was wrong.

It makes me very angry that these Doctors know and aren't telling people. I don't believe that they are ignorant. I've been over and over it again and again. It makes no sense that I would know more as a user of the drug than they would. There's so little on Tramadol or Ultram on  the web. Tons on other drugs.

Ok so the most alarming part of the Tramadol we would think would be the fact that it is a synthetic opiate. It's a Narcotic. It's just been slipped thru the schedule.

The Opiate aspect of Tramadol is why if you google,"Home Opiate Withdrawal," the techniques found there actually do work!

But that's not the most alarming part of Tramadol in my case. In my case the antidepressant that they tacked on to the cocktail is the thing that causes all the rough psychological and mental symptoms.

It's a Two Fer One!

I've been feeling like I was going crazy for a long time. And in addition to that; the scary suicidal ideation. The suicidal ideation vanished and returns ONLY if I get a flare up of withdrawal symptoms. That happens if I get over stressed. So i need some coping mechanisms.

At the moment; "I am STILL ALVE!?" Is a pretty good coping mechanism! :)

Love and healing,

Emily

PS. No Tramadol Withdrawal symptoms today .... :) YAY!

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Avatar_m_tn
by plamp, Aug 03, 2008
Thanks for your compliments guys :)

Seekingbetterdays I remember that "all I want to do is feel normal again" mood during withdrawal. In fact, day 1 of withdrawal I can recall laying on my bathroom floor and in between puking and diarrhea I would just say that over and over to myself. "I just want normal, I need normal". Its painful but normalcy is just around the corner for you. I think of the tramadol withdrawal as a veil pulled over your mind that prevents you from seeing life as you once did. For me the veil is removed but I still notice certain things about my life that are different than they once were. I'm not as physically laid back as I used to be and it is still more difficult to sit down and organize thoughts but each day is a noticed improvement=]. Its pretty amazing to believe people can go through things like this and it not be common knowledge that tramadol is an ineffective and dangerous drug. I guess its the peer pressure of everyone thinks its great so its probably just me. The withdrawal for me was one of the hardest battles in my life because no one was really watching and no one cared. Its easy to get through things with support but when your on your own its depressing like family members, doctors, and friends all think its something else when it isn't.

Emily, I'm glad no withdrawal symptoms yay! Now you will most likely be at that phase for a few weeks where you feel normal but certain things are just slightly off and different than they used to be. I understand this can last for a bit but it does go away which is great=]. Keep taking those vitamins and niacin! They help alot or at least they did with me and yeah protein is great too. Two for one on the tramadol yeah haha. They slip that little antidepressant in there when no one is looking. Before I knew there was one in there during withdrawal I had my suspicions because Ive seen people go through withdrawal from zoloft and xanax and they had those suicidal thoughts which were like mine, nothing was right in the world and my dad kept telling me to snap out of it. A doctor telling someone to "snap out of depression" yeah because thats how it works-.-. I wish there was some way to get the word out to other people who are taking this stuff but who would listen to some 19 yr old kid over their doctor right?=p

                                                          Always,
                                                                    Paul

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by EmilyPost, Aug 04, 2008
Wow Plamp you so nailed it on the early withdrawal description. I remember being too tired to even go get water. Profound disability in Days 1-4.  And I also agree that it is like a veil. It slowly gets lifted. Problem is, the longer you used it, the more randomly the withdrawal symptoms float back upon you.

And I think I figured out why. It's not acting on all the neurons in the brain at once, which is why they can call it an analgesic.

That means that as you come off, the randomness of the way it effects the brain, will create random side effects. Always to a lesser degree but there's an intensity in Tramadol withdrawal from the antidepressant that assures you (Drug Voice) that you are surely going to die this time from it.

In fact my research is only showing me that people are having seizures while ON the Tramadol. Or Ultram. Not while withdrawing. I can't find anything about Tramadol Seizures during withdrawal, only when the person is actively taking it and boosts their dose.

You wrote to SeekingBetterDays, "Its pretty amazing to believe people can go through things like this and it not be common knowledge that Tramadol is an ineffective and dangerous drug."

It's pretty hard to argue with a Doctor who insists it is safe. When we're in early withdrawal, it is sometimes against the wishes of our Docs. Like with me. I was done. I didn't tell the Doctor. Why bother? He's just going to tell me to stay on it, or that it is safe, or that I won't have any withdrawal. And eventually Tramadol is effective at making one crazy and creating greater pain! LOL! Ahhhh the dark humor returns! (It was a joke)

You also write, "I guess its the peer pressure of everyone thinks its great so its probably just me. The withdrawal for me was one of the hardest battles in my life because no one was really watching and no one cared."

We cared, truly. I do actually care about anyone who comes on here in unbearable early withdrawal. I don't care why they are on it, how they got it, they have my empathy 100%. Anyone who kicks pills of any kind has my empathy. Addiction is addiction. Arguing about who has it worst is kinda pointless. It's pain. Pain is pain.

For me, taking Tramadol would never have happened if I had known an antidepressant was thrown in there. That was an Executive Decision made for me by Doctors. I don't appreciate it. And given my History, they should have known better. Also I think arguing about whose responsibility it is pretty silly when you have Doctors feeling free to make Executive Decisions.  That would be me arguing with a five star General. Get my drift? :)

I will also say that my response to what you wrote here, "I wish there was some way to get the word out to other people who are taking this stuff but who would listen to some 19 yr old kid over their doctor right?" is very profound. I thought alot about that.

You speak with TRUTH my friend. You know truth is the most powerful force. You are also very kind and speak with love. So, your message will be found by the people who are looking for it. They have to look for it. But once they find it here ... they won't be able to forget. Truth rings true and it echoes.

You write, "Two for one on the Tramadol yeah haha. They slip that little antidepressant in there when no one is looking. Before I knew there was one in there during withdrawal I had my suspicions because Ive seen people go through withdrawal from zoloft and xanax and they had those suicidal thoughts which were like mine, nothing was right in the world and my dad kept telling me to snap out of it. A doctor telling someone to "snap out of depression" yeah because thats how it works-.-. "

It is very alarming that there's an antidepressant in Tramadol. You say all of it so perfectly.

Your Father. *stares at ground.* I have relatives and friends who have been thru clinical depression. Telling them to "snap out of it," would be like telling them to heal their cancer with their minds. It would be like telling a car accident victim to "Walk it Off."

I'm really sorry that the only people who can and do understand Tramadol withdrawal are those of us who got on it, and then had to fight off the viscous dogs from H-E double toothpicks that is Trammie Withdrawal. But mean, we understand!!!  On a cellular level we understand!

I remember in early withdrawal barely being able to see the screen! Much less have it stay level ... it was waving around, the words focusing in and out!

I'm staying on the Vitamins. Today, I got tons of sleep. It's my day off. It felt sooo nice to sleep. I wish I had more energy. But I don't.  So I will ration what I have on what is important to get e thru this next work week. I am still taking it one day at a time.

Love and healing,
Emily





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by AmberWay, Aug 04, 2008
What is the Thomas Method do tell? I am weaning off Tramadol as we speak and feeling a little anxious today. I am down to one a day from about 6-8 (100mg tabs) for about 3 years. I have weaned myself for the past 2 months and hope one more week or two at the most. It is hard but I do not want it anymore. If I had no anxiety or lack of concentration I would not take it at all! I feel mentally I do not need it but physically is different. Is there anything that makes your symptoms better? I have been supplementing with other pills like vitamins ibuprofen and some over the counter energy pills. Anything that helps that is NOT adicting I will take for now. Are you completely done or are you still taking some? I am 38 as well. Thanks Amber

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by seekingbetterdays, Aug 04, 2008
Hello EP,

How do we know when it ends?  

I find myself thinking about that a lot.  When will we know we are back to "normal" and what exactly is "normal"?   Will I know it when I get there?

I'm better -- much better -- but still not well enough to lauch an offensive.  You know -- the kind you plan and execute at work to stay competitive with your business.  My mind seems willing, but the body is weak.

Two good days were followed by total "energy decompression" this afternoon for about 4 hours.  Of course all gone now.  Not tired at all.  Unfortunately it's close to midnight and I NEED to be tired.  

That's a dirty little trick of the Devil pill, isn't it?

You wrote "I have relatives and friends who have been thru clinical depression. Telling them to "snap out of it," would be like telling them to heal their cancer with their minds. It would be like telling a car accident victim to "Walk it Off."

That is INSANE, isn't it.   Yet people actually say that silly stuff.

Like you, my relapse seems random, although I find myself searching for a pattern.  The good news -- Tramadol no longer rules me -- I do.  It's a great feeling.  I'll suffer a bit longer I'm sure, but it's already worth it.

--------------------------

Amberwave:  

Very good going on the taper.  I don't know where you get the willpower.  It's a great way to go if you can -- and its apparent you can!!   You got me beat, I could not do it so resorted to my only hope -- COLD TURKEY (Day 22).  

Hang it there - given your obvious determination with that taper, you can go all the way!!!!


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by EmilyPost, Aug 05, 2008
Seeking Better Days;

Yep. No kidding it is RANDOM. It is following a pattern. According to the New Math; RANDOM is a pattern! LOL!

But seriously, I understand. I had several great days and then last night at 4am, pain woke me up. Complete with some shaking, some dizziness and physical clumsiness and the "dirty sweat" I get from the withdrawal. It feels like sweating in dust. When the sweat sticks to you cause of the dust, and immediately dries cause of the heat.  Completely freaked me out.

Woke up all the way (That's a KEY) ... got out of bed, got ice packs, magnesium, anti histamine (Tylenol PM generic) ... Felt again like the brain surgery was upon me.

You ask me, How do we know when it ends?

Well, the two of us are the LUCKIEST people because we're NOT craving it.

That's how we know it will eventually end. It's in a certain way, already at an end. It's just CLAWING in a panic. It knows it is done, but hopes to convince you that you are too "tired."

After almost what? 47? Days I'm tired. And when w/d pain returns, I have to remind myself of what it is. I can't exactly think that after 5 years of use it's going to give up that easily right?

The randomness is explained by The Golden 1, whom I think might be a member here still?  I found this by Googling Ultram or Tramadol Detox ...

She/He writes;
___________________________________________________________________

THIS IS THE LONG ANSWER;
____________________________________________________________________
Re: tramadol addiction

Posted By: theGolden1
Date: Sunday, 25 September 2005, at 10:54 p.m.

In Response To: tramadol addiction (liltat2)

> hi there, i'm new here...i'm a 40 year old
> female that has been taking tramadol for
> over 10 years...after 2 back surgeries i was
> taken off vicodin and given tramadol. i
> found that to be immediatly addictive...and
> have found different excuses to get the
> drug...recently i ran out and could not find
> any and had a grand mall seizure...that is
> when i decided that enough is enough...ya
> right...i cant seem to get off this
> ****...my husband has control of the stuff
> and gives me some accordingly...but it seems
> the more i try the harder it gets...i have
> taken up to 15 at a time but normally i take
> 7 or 8 at a time...about 25 or 30 a
> day....PLEASE HELP...is there anything i can
> do or take to help relieve these withdrawl
> symptoms? if it wasn't for the withdrawl. i
> know i would quit alot sooner...someone told
> my husband that clonapin (spelled wrong, not
> sure of correct spelling) will help...does
> anyone know? and does anyone have ANY
> ADVICE? PLEASE HELP!!! SUSAN

Dear Susan, I feel your pain. This is a common occurrance. The first year I took one pill a day and it worked just fine. Four years later I needed 5 pills a day. I took 3 every morning just to feel normal. Dazz is right about tapering. I do think you will need to add your crossover medication before you are completely off of tramadol. I would seriously plan to be on another medication for a year or so. Just don't panic. Little by little, you will take back your life. It took 10 years to get here, so be patient and you will succeed. Slow and steady wins the race.

Getting off high doses of this stuff requires the utmost care. Tramadol stays in your system a long time. I don't care who disagrees with me. Tramadol builds up and the antidepressant part of it lasts along time. The painkiller part of tramadol targets the brain receptors in a "random" fashion. Off again, on again, here and there. Unlike a real opiate that binds to ALL the receptors at once. That is why tramadol is labeled an analgesic and not a narcotic. That is also why ANY opiate can be used in much smaller doses to get off tramadol. That would also include methadone and suboxone. I know a person that used darvon and successfully got off tramadol. The problem is that you must be on the crossover drug for at least a month, and then you would have to detox from that. In your case I would not detox for a few months. I would also be in under a doctor's care. This drug gets into your mind and makes you believe that you need it.
After a whole year, I actually considered taking it again ..... I'm so glad I didn't do it. Ultram .. the big lie.

Stick close, there is help and support here ...Goldie
ps: don't forget to pray

_________________________________________________________________

SHORT ANSWER;

I yanked that off the Internet because of the sentences ...



"Getting off high doses of this stuff requires the utmost care. Tramadol stays in your system a long time. I don't care who disagrees with me. Tramadol builds up and the antidepressant part of it lasts along time. The painkiller part of tramadol targets the brain receptors in a "random" fashion. Off again, on again, here and there. Unlike a real opiate that binds to ALL the receptors at once. That is why tramadol is labeled an analgesic and not a narcotic."

-Goldie

_________________________________________________________________

So our experience follows the physical pattern of the way the drug effects us when we are still on it. As we withdraw, it is also random. Which is a pattern humans hate.

I'm going to get better. You are going to get better.

You aren't planning in taking anymore of the Devi;'s Pill right? Neither am I!!

The mornings are sometimes VERY BAD. Sometimes they are not. This morning? IT WAS HORRID. But now it is almost 1pm. And I am pulling out of it. Will it return? Maybe? Maybe not. I have no idea. I know it's gone now. I couldn't have even written this post earlier than this. Too much brain fog.

I mean if there's one thing that the SHELLING does ... it makes you lay low. It sorta teaches you in the roughest way possible to lay LOW and wait it out. When I first started here, a member wrote a post up on the general addiction board. I refer to it often. I hope he doesn't mind me repeating it here! This one of the most Effective Tools I have used in my withdrawal. I believe this with all my heart.

________________________________

Many people need to wrap their minds around this:
by CadillacJack

Jun 28, 2008 07:46PM

This being afraid of withdrawals, and buckling under because of that fear of discomfort needs some mind control conditioning.

I'm not saying it's easy.

But look at quitting exactly like this: It's WAR.

Fear on the battlefield will get you dead, if you can't control it.

The truth is, fear and anger are similar emotions. It's not very hard to condition yourself to turn fear into anger, and in the case of quitting drugs, you should do so.

Opiates may not be as immediately serious as bullets & shrapnel, but, nevertheless, the same mind set applies; survival. I'd rather have a chunk of lead than a bucket of opiates to go out with. Think about this. Logic will tell you this is true. Fear is your enemy in the forum of quitting substances. Anger at using, or the substance itself, will serve you much better. Anger will give you strength. Fear will rob you of it. Get mad, and go to war.

cj
_______________________________________________________________

Hope this helps you SeekingBetterDays ...

I know you being here surely does help me!

Love and healing,
Emily

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by EmilyPost, Aug 05, 2008
Hi Amber,

Congrats on your slow taper. Good for you. I did a much faster taper, basically not very scientific. "Run Out Of Pills," was my method. I actually feel like I am not sure if it is better to taper or jump off into cold turkey. But for me, it's kinda a moot point.

I haven't had any Tramadol in 47 days now. I believe my "taper" from 6-8-10? (I forget) was done in about three weeks. Maybe two. It was fast.

I don't know why you are on it exactly. I was on it for "chronic pain," due to a car accident. Funny, but the pain vanished after I stopped taking it. During the heavy withdrawal I would get spikes of pain. But I think that's just the Tramadol trying to get me to take more. Unlike many; I do NOT have a craving for more Tramadol. Thank Goodness! I would rather eat rat poison.

I used to think that Tramadol increased my energy and my concentration. I also used to think it helped my pain. Turns out I was mistaken.

Once a drug turns on you, it does the exact opposite of what it is supposed to do.  Again; in my experience.

Anything that makes it easier? Well, you have the right attitude which is, "I don't want it anymore."

Shifting into planning mode would be good. Getting the house stocked up with fresh easy to prep foods (there's a list on Day 33 of good foods to increase dopamine) and water with lots and lots of vitamins. I had to use powered vitamins in my water, or I would throw up. That happened for awhile. Til I figured out how to get them down and keep em there.

You need a heating pad, a bunch of ice packs if you have pain. You need sublingual B-12 tablets. Honey also works VERY well to get you moving if you have to. If you CAN; PLEASE take at least 7 straight days off. You can make it on 5 ... but that will SUCK so badly. I had to tell alot of lies, people think all kinds of odd things have happened to me in the last 47 days. But, it was necessary and it got me off the Tramadol.

And over the counter pain killers worked well for me. I used and still use Excedrin Migraine in the morning cause of the caffeine. I HAVE to get to work, and the mornings are the worst for me. So I need to wake up earlier than usual cause I move slowly in the morning. At night I'll use an antihistamine or Tylenol PM or Excedrin PM. Magnesium and Calcium helps sleep. Wrapping your limbs helps if you have weird limb pain. You can Google "Home Opiate Detox" and it'll give you some ideas. Obviously some good and some annoyingly bad! LOL!

Hot baths and showers are a huge part of the Thomas Recipe aka The Thomas Detox. Who is Thomas? He's the guy who should be all dead from all the drugs he's taken over the years and this is his method of Home Detox. I used it. It works. I used Batherapy bath salts. I used them in the shower when running a bath seemed impossible. Used them as a scrub. Skin being the largest organ and all that.


Here's a cut and paste of the Thomas Recipe for you Amber ..
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66


Here's protocol on amino acids
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Amino-Acid-Protocol/show/15?cid=66

Here's PAWS; Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome;
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/PAWS-part-1/show/39?cid=66

It's alot of reading, but you'll find it useful.

Most people say 4-5 day max once you jump off (stop taking the pills) before you feel ok. Mine was 4 days. It was like the worst flu ever combined with a migraine and a full on psychological attack. But; I can do 4 days and so can you! You may have it easier even! You have been on two less years and you tapered slow. So that's great!

Good luck! Let us know when you need our help ok?

Love and healing,
Emily




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by Michele639, Oct 01, 2008
I have been on Tramadol for about 3 yrs. I was up to 300mg per day but I weaned myself of the drug over a few weeks. I am on day 10 of no medication and I still have huge issues with sleep. How long does to get a decent nights sleep. Diphenhydramine just makes me weak and not tired. I am controlling the other sypmtons well by exercising and  long hot bath's. Any info would be helpful.

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by hunter1972, Oct 07, 2008
I have been on ultram for the last 6 months. i have been taking it as prescribed. 1-2 50 mg tablets every 4-6 hours. usually 2 doses, rarely 3 a day. My doctor told me that it is non-narcotic and non-habit forming. I forgot to call my refill in earlier in the week and ran out yesterday. No big deal. Non narcotic. not habit forming. BS!!!!!  I hav been researching ultram for the last couple hours and have not read 1 good story about quitting it. I am experiencing may of the symptoms listed. My refill shows up tomorrow. I plan to call the doctor and go over our next course of action. I dont think quitting cold turkey is an option as I have a job to keep. Would there be any guesses as to how long I will have the WD's? Thanks for any input.
MK

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by EmilyPost, Oct 07, 2008
Hi MK;

I didn't quit cold turkey, exactly. I did a fast taper, letting the pills run out. I don't know if that is easier ...

I really feel for you. Of course you have a job to keep. I hae a job to keep!

Call the pharmacy and ask them to fill it now? Call your Dco and tell him you are experiencing w/d (I don't know if he'll believe you) and ask for an earlier refill. Then taper. Slowly? Will this help? Mabe.

Read about the Thomas Recipe, and the Vitamin Protocol. You might get hit really hard; or not. I've read about a few people who say they quit with no side effects. (Um. I'm not sure I believe them)

Good luck!

Please please read as much of this journal as you can, it is filled, stuffed with information about HOW to quit.

Love and helaing,
Emily



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by hunter1972, Oct 07, 2008
Thanks for the reply Emily. I got 3 hours of sleep last night. went to work, no drugs, I sat my boss down and explained the situation to him. I felt horrible all day. took a small nap on my lunch break. did ok for the rest of the afternoon. All in all it was a lot better than I expected. right now I feel pretty good. yesterday morning was my last 50mg dose. I have hope that I will be one of the lucky ones. We'll see what tomorrow does.

How are you feeling now? I hope everything is going well. Thank you very much for the advice and info. it is all great help. I'll try to post again tomorrow.

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by EmilyPost, Oct 07, 2008
Hi Hunter!

Oh that is so cool that you were able to tell your boss about your situation. Thank goodness! Some people can't you know? Even with Tramadol which is supposed to be non narcotic (but isn't) ...

Everything is ok now as far as Tramadol is concerned. I'm over 100 days out. The randomness of it was what was really horrible. I'm one of the ones that got sacked down hard by Tramadol.

For helping sleep;

Sleepy time Tea by celestial seasonings; right before bed

Pantothenic Acid (B5) which is for clenching of TMJ/Jaw. It happens to people in withdrawal. I took 2000 mg before bed. Nice side effect? Makes you sleepy.

Hot Bath with Queen Helene Lavender Batherapy .... That one has an amazing amount of minerals in it. Makes you crazy sleepy.

Benadryl or an anti histamine works for some.

Herbs, Passionflower, Valerian root, Hops, Skullcap ... one of those will work. Warning; Valerian root smells like a hockey team's tube sock ... so don't breathe; and get capsules!

B-12 sublingual tablets saved me! SO did Excedrin Migraine for getting to work!

Coffee helped me get to work!

I'm so glad you got a nap! That helps alot too.

Yes. yes, be one of the lucky ones ok?

Love and healing;
Emily




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by hunter1972, Oct 09, 2008
well, I woke up feeling great. slept a solid 8 hrs(with help from Lunesta). Sleep made all the difference. Felt good most the day. just kinda sluggish and scattered. I talked with my doc and expressed my concerns about tramadol and all of the nightmare stories about people trying to get off of it. She tell me that I am only hearing worst cases and scare tactics. Went on to say that they prescribe Tramadol because it is far less addictive than vicodin or percocet. I told her not to worry about the refill.

It's funny, as crappy as I feel, and I know tramadol will make me feel "better". I dont crave it one bit. I have been on percocet abit and always craved it after it was gone.

I feel I wasnt hit as hard as you or some of the others and you amaze me with your strength. I'm not sure how I could have dealt with that. I would have been right back on the bottle. Had the pharmacy had my script ready yesterday I would be starting all over.

Once again, thank you very much Emily for the support and advice. It really helps to hear this from a person that knows than from a doctor that dont care too much.

I'll try to post again tomorrow. gotta go now. sleep meds are bangin on the back of my eyelids.
Take care and be well
MK

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by sailing1, Oct 09, 2008
Hunter, I encourage you to read my story, print it if possible, and give it to your practitioner.  If that doesn't work, give me your practitioner's phone number and I'll call him/her and tell him/her the TRUTH behind Tramadol myself!!!  I have been an RN for 20+ years....I too, bought the line that it is relatively harmless....until I went through the most agonizing, painful, and emotionally destructive withdrawal I could ever hope to never have again!

Arrrgh!  And to think your practitioner just brushed off your comments.....scare tactics?  My Arse!  Worst-case-scenario?  Not a chance!  This is real and prevalant and frightening.  This will become big news when it finally comes out, mark my words.  And those of us practitioners who were clueless will blame the FDA and the drug companies instead of ourselves for not listening to the thousands of people (our patients) whose lives have been affected negatively by this horrible little pill.  

In case you can't print from the comment page, I put this in your mailbox as well.  

Best of luck and health

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by WANTTOBENORM, Oct 15, 2008
I am so glad I found this site.  I had no idea how many people had this problem with Tramadol.  I got addicted Tramadol because I have horrible cramps. If my stomach started to cramp I would just pop a Tramadol I would feel like new in about 20 mins. I began to realize that I was addicted to Tramadol one day when I hadn't taken any all day and my knees started aching really bad.  I felt sluggish. So I took a Tramadol, and I was all better. (or so I thought). It literally made me feel BETTER.  Well, enough was enough and I decided I wanted to be "normal" again.  The first day of withdrawals sucked. I  just stayed in bed. Because I would have been of no use in the real world.  Well, the real fun started that night.  I am just a big bag of emotions and I am ready to go to bed.  Well, the fun restless legs kicked in.  It was horrible, I cried, I kicked, I prayed. I was up and down all night long, I watched the whole season of Flovor of Love. And finally dozed off at about 5 in the morning. After that things got alot easier.  I was learning to do things over again.  
Then: I had to get my wisdon teeth removed.
That **** hurts.  And I gets me some Lortabs. I take them all. I look in my drawer and what do I see??  2 left over Tramadol.
Just one wont hurt!!!

Well, here I am again.  It has been 1 day no Tramadol.  Today was pretty sucky.My legs hurt. I am dizzy. Scattered minded. Just feel horrible.  My legs are aching so I know I wont be getting any sleep tonight.
BUT: I flushed all the remaining Tramadols.  
I have to get them out of my life. FOREVER
TO ANYONE WHO HAS NEVER TAKEN TRAMADOL:
DON"T DO IT


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by EmilyPost, Oct 15, 2008
Tramadol is rat poison. It's hoorrrrrrible stuff.

Can't imagine using this for cramps ... ICKY! I gets you hooked in a few days ...

Yep. Yes, say NO! :D

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by WANTTOBENORM, Oct 16, 2008
day 2: well... i made it through the night.  it was horrible. i think i got 2 hours of sleep.  i got out of bed 47 times i think. and all im thinking is .....a 1/4 of one and i will be asleep.  BUT I DIDNT DO IT...... that was a big deal to me. so finally when my body decided to relax..... i hear my alarm clock..... im not sure, but i think i dressed myself for work.  i got to work and my legs are achy but not as bad as the first day of withdrawals..... I made it a whole day at work ... no Tramadol.  and i actullay did work.   im at home now... horrible mood swings. my legs are hurting........i bought some vitamins to give me energy.... we'll see how tonight goes... and the next couple of days.

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by EmilyPost, Oct 16, 2008
HOORAY!

OK color me impressed that you went to work. I wasn't at work on Day 2! Good for you! Take it easy enough that you don't go back to the Tramadol. That stuff causes more problems than it cures after a time.

Sorry you got up out of bed 47 times! I know that feeling of finally being asleep and then the darn alarm goes off. So awful!

Ok well best of luck tonight. Try and use The Thomas Recipe as much as you can. Hot mineral baths really do help!

Love and healing,
Emily

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by kel226, Oct 29, 2008
Is anyone out there?  I need help and am scared to death right now.  I have only been on Tramadol for about 3-4 months.  I stopped taking it b/c I wasn't having pain of endomietriosis at the time and wow the withdrawl is so wicked.   I am down to no refills and only about 25 pills, I am scared and don't know whether to try to get another prescription or quite....I have such a busy life, 4 kids and a full time job.  I function totally well on tramadol and can't do anything when I was withdrawling.  I don't have time for a long withdrawl before I feel normal, what can I do?  


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by kel226, Oct 29, 2008
Its me again, I don't have email at home right now, and work night shift, so I am sure nobody is up right now.  I read most of the blogs and am relieved and scared to see others have had the same withdrawals as me.   The leg aches are the worst for me, I can't stop trying to stretch and move.  It is so miserable I feel like it would be easier to ask a doctor for a long term prescription and just avoid going off of them.  I hate this!!  I don't want to be on them, but I don't want to feel the hell of withdrawal.  I have had 4 kids and this pain is worse than child birth.  I accomplish so much too, when I am on it.....I don't know if I will be able to do as much when or should I say if I kick the habit.  HELP HELP HELP..........................I think I will call the doctor today and just keep going.    I take about (6) 50 mg pills a day, used to take more, but I can get by with 6.  I can't get moving during the day until I have my tramadol pumping through my veins, but man then I am getting everything done.  Not to mention, I suffer from severe migraines and haven't had any since on tramadol?  Also lost a lot of weight and am thinner than I have been in forever.    

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by EmilyPost, Oct 29, 2008
Hi Kel;

Well yeah, that is what stops most people from getting off Tramadol. Fear of Pain from withdrawal. You wanna be on a long term program? When exactly will that end? The pain of withdrawal will be minimal after 3-4 months as comapred to 3-4 years. Everybody says that they don't have time.

You can read about what most of us did to get off. I have been off for over 100 days ....probably more now.

I wouldn't take it for anything. It's poison. For me; it made pain worse. It gave me the illusion it was helping me. But it wasn't. It was and is worth it to get thru 3-4 days of he-$$ and then 7 days of sub-normal functioning. People get the flu all the time. Tramadol will take your life from you. Right now, you sound as if you have an attitude of fear. That won't help.

Only anger and a fight will help you get out.

I hope you read the whole journal. Only my opinion. but this stuff if poisin, makes pain way worse and will ruin your life. You should get out before it really take ahold of you. But then; it's your decision.


Love and healing,
Emily

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by Organica, Oct 31, 2008
I have just found this site and am so relieved.. When I started taking Tramadol 5 years ago there was virtually nothing about addiction/withdrawal.  

I have been taking it for fibromyalgia and other things and have really not had a break, although I have never had more than 200ml daily ( 2 x 100 in the time release).  I am tapering off and feel just ghastly, particularly emotionally. Can anyone tell me if they have experienced the following?:

Pain in arms/ arm swelling (my doctor thinks there are cervical spine problems, but thought I'd ask)
Pressure in the chest
Feelings of swelling in neck
severe agitation
severe lack of focus
a LOT of sweating
complete apathy

I know that I find it very difficult to stop drugs - I have been very unwell throughout my life and was on steroids (prednisone) for a very long time.. The way the doctor told me to come off it was completely unsatisfactory, so I did it my own way.. very very gently lowering then stabilising the lowered dose, then lowering again, over months till I was OK.  I'm wondering if it will be the same with this.

Thanks for providing this means to talk to others.. it is so important when you feel there is nowhere to go!

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by Organica, Oct 31, 2008
I just wanted to add that before I took Tramadol I rarely took any drugs (except thyroxine as I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis), ate very healthy food and drank raw organic juices daily, was rigorous in my yoga practice, etc etc.  

After a while it dissipated.  I had a lot more energy for things, but didn't treat my body the way I always had - I craved carbs and sugar etc etc.  

Just a thought, in case others have had a similar experience.

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by EmilyPost, Oct 31, 2008
Hi Organica;

Yes. Every single one of those symptoms I had thru withdrawal from Tramadol.

I specifically remember thinking that my arms were going to fall off from pain.

Yes, Chest pain and anxiety and yes yes neck pain.

Sweating ... YES. I had stacks of yoga clothes washed and ready cause I would finally sleep and wake up covered in sweat. It would also happen randomly.

Agitation; yes yes. I remember in early withdrawal and even at the end that I thought I was developing a social anxiety. In early withdrawal the phone would ring or the doorbell and I would HIDE! LOL! Seriously, that is so not me. So .. withdrawal form this is serious YUCK,

Apathy with lack of focus is so annoying isn't it? Like being cut off emotionally, knowing it and kinda not being able to muster up the will to care about it. Tramadol is such an ugly destabilizing drug emotionally because it has that added antidepressant component that "they" never like to admit is in it!

They won't even tell you it is addictive. It most certainly is addictive. I'd rather go off any one of the pain pills (opiates) that I went off of than go off Tramadol again. Truly like being in a pit of despair. Luckily, it is chemical and caused by both being on the drug and then by coming off of it.  It's not a personality change or anything organic. It is a drug reality.

I'm so sorry that you are going thru it! I am way out now. I have recovered and was on the same kind of dose for about the same amount of time and I can promise you, once you get thru it; you will regain everything you "lost" ... even things you did not know you had lost. It's going to be ok.

The feelings of "Oh I am DYING!" are caused by withdrawal.

What I did was make lists. Alot of my lists are in this journal. I would forget what it was I was supposed to do to make myself feel better. So the lists helped a great deal.

The good news is that most of us reported 3-4 days of very bad withdrawal (it's like a flu/migraine/backache the worst you have ever had) and about a 7 day period of not being functional. By Day 10 I knew I would live.

It was remarkably random. SO I would be ok for a few hours or a few days or a few minutes and the BLAMMO! So ... keep that in mind. You are so smart to taper and then jump off. Tramadol makes people sick after extended use. And if you want to call it addiction or "dependence" it is kinda all the same at the end of the day as far as fighting the fight!

Thank you for writing! You have no idea ... well I bet you do ... what your words do for people who can't express what you have. Or ask what you have. To be in early withdrawal form Tramadol is really scary. I wanted people to find this and think, "She got off and out, so I bet I can!" There's so little like that when you search for Tramadol withdrawal.

Let us all know how you are doing ok? Write as much as you like and I am sure we can help. Been there. It is awful, but the drug will destroy you, so you really have to taper and jump off. I know you can!

Love and healing,
Emily


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by Organica, Oct 31, 2008
Thank you, Emily.  You have no idea how helpful it is as absolutely no-one knows my situation.

It has taken me about a month to get from 2 x 100 slow release daily, which I have been on for years, to 2 x 50.  I asked my doctor for the 50 slow release (she also gives me the normal 50s).  I told her I wanted to taper off and she said there was absolutely no need to - you can just stop.  Yeah, right.

There is no problem with accessing the tablets, which can make stopping harder as, when it all gets too much, I always have them.  

So at the moment I am on 2 x 50 slow release, although I admit when it gets too much, I substitute a more rapid 50, but still stick to the 'no more than 100 daily' rule.  I am barely functioning.. today, not at all...
And I haven't even gone cold turkey!

Anyway, slowly, slowly is going to have to be my way so that I can funcion in the world in some way.  If I could just stop, perhaps it would be easier, but I cannot let people know what I am going through, and I have to earn a living.

Thank you so much for your support.

Best,

Organica



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by tramateacher, Nov 01, 2008
Organica and Kel,
The best advice I can give you is to keep coming back here! Reading Emily's journal and all the comments and ideas from other people who are trying to get off of this demon drug has been the BIGGEST help I have found. I've been taking it over a year for a bulging disk, but once I was able to manage that without drugs I found that I could not stop taking the Tramadol in spite of what my doctors said about the "safety" and "non-addictive" nature of it. That simply is not true! I have been able to taper off 1/4 of a pill at a time with little suffering from withdrawal. I guage when I need to lower my dose again by the intensity of the restless leg symptoms. For me, the jumpy joints that keep me from sleeping is the worst part! I still have other withdrawal symptoms like migraine type headaches behind my eyes, digestive stuff, stomach cramps, run-down tiredness and fatigue, but all of those are manageable and I don't have to drop out of my life to deal with withdrawal.

At one point I was taking 300-400 mg a day, then about 6 months ago I decided I needed to get off this wicked drug, so I dropped 100 mg for a month until I got down to 100 mg a day, then I stayed there for a long time because I couldn't seem to get any lower without suffering severe withdrawal. Then I found Emily! She got me past the fear of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms and gave me the motivation to come up with a plan to deal with it. Now I'm tapering down in smaller increments and that seems to be working. I've discovered that it only takes a couple of days to adjust to a lower dose before I can drop again. I started at 100 mg about 2 weeks ago, and now I'm down to 37.5. At this rate I'll be totally off Tramadol by Thanksgiving!

In a couple of Emily's journal entries I remember her saying something like she started to feel "herself" again, not the drug, but the real "her". When I read it I wasn't really sure I understood what she was talking about, but I'm beginning to now. It's a strange and incredible experience! It's sort of like there are two of me. There's the one me who wants the drug, and candy, and soda and cigarettes....this me seems to manufacture pain in my body in an effort to get me to take more Tramadol. This me also tries to trigger whacked out emotional responses to things that I normally would not be emotional about. For example, the other day when my husband got home from work, he came in and said "hey hon, how was your night?" and I started crying. yes, crying. for absolutely no reason. I hadn't had a bad day, I wasn't under any undue stress, nothing tragic had occurred, I wasn't even watching a tear-jerker movie! But for some reason just saying hello to me made me cry. Ridiculous! But that's how this drug works!

Now that I'm getting off this poison there's another me that is emerging. This me is the "real me" that I think Emily was talking about. This me senses my heart beating, and my lungs pumping, this me wants to eat good food and cares about my appearance, and wants to exercise. This me is actually emotionally stable, wants to be around other people and cares about other things besides just myself and my selfish needs. The stranges part is that I can "feel" this other me sort of getting happy and relieved like she's being freed from something, like she's being released from some kind of restraints. Like I said, It's very weird! And hard to explain, but I can't wait for the drug me to be gone forever and the real me to be all there is! Then I'll know I'll be off of Tramadol for good!

I read somewhere one time that we actually have two brains. One in our gut and one in our head. That our gut actually produces more neurotransmitters than the organ in our heads. I wonder if this is the reason for the "two me's" that I seem to be experiencing and that I've read other people have experienced. Has anyone else ever heard of this?

Best wishes to all and don't fear the fear!
Cecie

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by Organica, Nov 01, 2008
Hi Cecie and thank you...

I cannot begin to describe how glad I am to have found this site! I was beginning to think I was going mad.

When you say you are down to 37.5, what does that mean? I am in Australia and am wondering whether our drugs come in different forms.

Things from you all that ring huge bells:

"dirty sweat".. yes!
  
Transfer your fear to anger - I have been so trained to not go to anger that this was a revelation - fear is THE issue. I feel uncomfortable with targeting the anger at specific things, but find I can target it at the drug.  I was going to say 'the addiction' but I find 'addiction' such a difficult word to use in the case of Tramadol.. I don't crave the drug - isn't that the defining feature of addiction?  Physical dependence seems more the case.

All of the psychological issues - I have so much to do and simply cannot get it done.. I have thought it was physical as I have a lot of physical issues (which is why I was put on Tramal in the first place).  Now I am thinking that I also have profound depression.  The thing is this was occuring before I started tapering off the drug.  I feel as though the drug created it in the first place, and then coming off it makes it so much worse.  That is the insidious thing with this drug - it isn't just about the withdrawal. The actual drug does awful things to the mind over a period of time.

The incredible head-in-the-sand attitude of doctors.

Just writing this makes me feel better than I have in ages - support is a wonderful thing. Bless you all.

Organica

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by Organica, Nov 01, 2008
Dear Kel,

It is so easy to think you will just keep taking them.. I thought that I would maintain my dose and work hard on exercise, meditation, nutrition etc in the hope that it would give me the strength to then start tapering off, or at least give me my life back.  It just didn't work. It is like trying to override something that is intent on staying.

I do a lot of meditation and know that the mind is continuously trying to distract us from our ability to go within and find the answers within ourselves.. It is one of the little quirks of being human.  We need to train the mind to just focus and be silent sometimes.  I think this drug grabs the mind and makes its skittishness more tenacious. The drug cannot find peace for you.  I really have tried to work with this.  

Please, please try to gradually lower the dose till you can let go.  

What is keeping me going is that wonderful feeling of accomplishment when it is done..  how good will that be!  And reading the stories of others here has made me realise this is very very achievable.  So what I am doing now , whenever it all feels really really grim, is to come back and read what others have accomplished.  

We can do this!!

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by kel226, Nov 02, 2008
hello again,  

    Thanks for the comments. Everyone sounds so very positive with what is going on with them and you all should be b/c if you have made it this far you should all be very proud. I don't think I can do it.   I am just not there yet.  I am still in the scared to death phase and I know I don't want to be on it, but my life doesn't stop and I don't have any sick time to take off work and nobody to take care of my kids.  I hate this poison, as you all refer to as.  It is controlling my life and I hate it.  Anyway, I just worked 13 1/2 hours and haven't slept in 22 hours, so now I have to try to get some sleep, between tossing and turning and stretching my legs, until I peel myself out of bed and drag my *** into the bathroom to take 3 pills, wait 30 minutes and then start it all over again.  Great, can't wait.  

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by kel226, Nov 04, 2008
Still here, still on the meds, no comments?   No help?  

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by Organica, Nov 04, 2008
Kel, I am not sure of the etiquette of posting here.. I am new to interacting on the internet, so I hope it is OK for me to reply to you.  
This is Emily's log and she gave you good advice a few posts back.  
No-one can help you if you are not ready to do this.  There is no point in saying you are not ready and then wanting help - what on earth can anyone do?  
I, too, have no support and a job to keep. My way, as I said before, is to do it very slowly.. any amount of reduction will make you feel stronger and more able to cope.  Others will tell you to just create the space and just stop, which is an excellent plan.
Learn relaxation techniques.  Learn to breath deeply and well.
Read this Emily and others' stories... they are inspiring.
The rest is, truly, up to you.
Wishing you Strength
Organica


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by Organica, Nov 04, 2008
Re:  "Read this Emily and others' stories"
Sorry, there shouldn't have been a 'this' in there... it sounds a little impolite :-)

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by EmilyPost, Nov 04, 2008
(((Organica)))

I thought your reply was lovely!

Love and healing,
Emily

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by want2bfree80, Nov 05, 2008
I just stumbled on this web site and I can't believe I found this. I've been taking tramadol for about 10 months now and from the moment I started taking it I loved what it did for me. Not only was I pain free but I was happy, energetic and very efficient. While taking it i've always told myself that if I ever decide to stop taking it that I could do so easily, but then every time I try  my pain feels unbearable both emotionally and physically. After reading all your posts I realised I have to stop!I don't know how i'll do this because I too have a family that rely on me for everything. But I just want to feel normal again. I don't want the drug to dictate my life which I feel like it's doing right now. So an hour ago was HOPEFULLY the last time I take tramadol. Wish me luck and i'd love to hear from you all.

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by EmilyPost, Nov 05, 2008
Hello Want2bFree;

I really hope you do well. I actually remember some of the feelings you said you had on the Tramadol, but it turned on me pretty fast.

I've been off it for a long time now, zero cravings. Back pain is not as bad as it was while ON Tramadol. Today I actually FELT like cleaning house! Wowza!

What injury do you have that you got put on Tramadol?

There's so much in the journal, it's actually very long now! LOL. So I hope you will read it and get suggestions for everyone. I designed it to be helpful, because I couldn't find any help while going thru withdrawal. And yes, I felt like I was dying every time I tried to stop. And then Docs would assure me there was no need to stop; perfectly safe. Not addictive. Yeah.

It's better to be free. Worrying about a drug, how you'll get it and so on .. is not a good way to live IMO.

Love and Healing,
Emily

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by Organica, Nov 05, 2008
Dear Want2bFree,

I have a feeling your response to finding this site is the same as mine :-)  I remember too being 'pain free, happy, energetic and very efficient'... exactly! But it didn't last.  And what Emily and others here have pointed out, that I was missing, is that the drug itself really changes you.  And I believed that the agony of not taking it was my condition, not physical withdrawal.  So I kept going, and insidiously I became someone else.
    
As I cut down I feel my old self coming back.  Emily actually pointed out to me that it could even be a better self, and it actually is....We certainly learn and strengthen from these experiences.

I am still on Tramal, but a far smaller dose, and getting smaller all the time.. but I have been on it for many years. I am so glad you are doing this at this stage.


The very best to you..

Organica

And to Emily... I know I keep waxing lyrical about what you are doing here, but it has been such a revelation!  What a wonderful service you have created through your own struggle.  And how wonderful to be able to do this, not just as non-members of the orthadox medical profession, but despite them.

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by tramateacher, Nov 10, 2008
Hi Organica and Kel,
Sorry it's been so long for me to respond; I don't always get a chance to get online. My teenage daughter tends to dominate the computer. ;> I'm not sure how your doctors prescribe medicine in Australia, but mine is prescribed in milligrams. What I mean by 37.5 is that I have managed to reduce my dosage from 300 milligrams a day, to 100 milligrams a day, and finally all the way down to only 37.5 milligrams a day. My pills are round tablets in 50 milligram doses, so I can cut them in 1/2 and go down 1/4 of a pill at a time. I seem to be stuck at 37.5 mg right now, but I keep trying to cut out a little more and get down to only 25mg a day.

Don't give up! It's definitely worth it. I can tell a big difference, but like Emily has said many times you have good days and bad days, but in the end they're all good!

Best wishes for Success!
Cecie

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by Organica, Nov 10, 2008
Thanks, Cecie,

Probably about time I became Sue, rather than Organica :-)

In Aus we only have 50mil that are in a capsule and cannot be cut, and  'time release' tablets that come in 50, 100 and 200, that last 12 hours.  I was on two 100s daily.. the doctor offered me the 200s during a bad patch, but, thank heavens, I refused.  So the problem with cutting back is that you can't!  There is no cutting of the time release ones.
I am now down to 75 ml daily after a long time of 100.  I do it by 'spacing' the doses since I can't cut them

Having said all that, I just split open a 50ml capsule, and it is full of powder, so I can do it!  That makes such a difference!

Cecie, I understand the 'getting stuck' at a dose.  I said before that when I was on steroids for a long period (they did keep my alive, so it was worth it), it took forever to jump-start my adrenals to working again... getting off the really low dose was the tough one.  Perhaps this is the same, but with seretonin?  But I did it in the end, and of course we can do it again. Are you trying the 37.5 one day, 25 the next?  When I was on steroids I even did the equivalent of 3.75, 3.75, 25, for a while, then 3.75, 25 ,25 and so on.

I have noticed that Tramal weren't actually helping the pain as much as I thought... I was under the impression the pain was getting worse, but obviously the drugs just weren't doing it anymore.

And yes, there are days that are simply appalling!  What I am learning, through experience, and through talking with everyone here, is that they become less.  Also it has been enormously helpful to understand the unpredictability of it... as Emily said, it can come at any time, for any amount of time.

But I must say there is an underlying strength to it all - a feeling of getting myself back!


Thank you everyone... and all strength to you!

Sue

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by EmilyPost, Nov 10, 2008
Sue aka Beautiful Organica, and all;

Sue you are such a sweetheart really. To write, "And to Emily... I know I keep waxing lyrical about what you are doing here, but it has been such a revelation!  What a wonderful service you have created through your own struggle.  And how wonderful to be able to do this, not just as non-members of the orthadox medical profession, but despite them."

That makes me very happy. I'm so glad you found it helpful and that others have found their way here. I remember so very well, being so incredibly ill, and having no one who could just tell me how long it would last, what symptoms they had, and what to expect.

I kept thinking, if I could just find someone online who wrote about their experience during Tramadol withdrawal, I would feel so much better. I found a few things. Most of those I copied and pastes into the Journal Itself. I don't really say, "My Journal," because so many other people contributed and so many people helped with ideas. So if it is read from the beginning, it is helpful. I myself just read one of my first entries and was struck with .. "Oh wowooowwwww, I was so out of it. Good Golly, how was I functioning in the world?"

I wasn't functioning in the world. i was in some kind of haze all of the time. Tramadol turned on me so slowly and so ... well, organically, that I didn't notice when it started poisoning me. I noticed in the beginning that all the Doctors were so proud of themselves for getting me off opiates and onto the Tramadol. Even I thought it was the right thing. Mainly because I couldn't find anything that told me it was wrong.

There's still a huge bottle of Tramadol in my house. Why? I'm not going to take them. I barely think about them, I certainly don't crave them. I guess they are here because I don't care? I'll have to give that more thought.

But yes, indeed, forgetting who you truly are at your essence is the Hallmark of Tramadol. It takes away your "pain" (and eventually worsens it) and then it takes away your emotions, your heart, your ability to deal with stress. The ability to "roll with the pinches" to take life as it is. It's a big scary mess, and the only thing that can help is Tramadol? LOL. That's pretty messed up. But I remember thinking that way very very clearly. I remember the panic when I would run out.

I specifically remember that I once decided to do a yoga challenge. It was 100 days of yoga consecutively. (Cause that's very Type A, and I'm quite Type A) SO I decided I would do this and at about day 70, I had no pain, so I stopped taking Tramadol. About 4 days after that, I thought I was DYING. I was of course informed by a horrible now ex-friend, who was a true addict, that I was in withdrawal from the Tramadol. That I was "dependant." Dependant Versus Addicted .. Body doesn't care.

Anyhow, every time I tried to stop I would feel like i was dying and I would be unable to function. And of course, I have a serious physical back injury. But the fact is, the Tramadol wasn't helping me.

Tramateacher you have realized one of the biggest points. Tramadol seems to respond well to a slow taper.

Sue you will get yourself back and it is such a wonderful feeling. It really is so unpredictable. Which, when you think about the way it is chemically built, makes sense. But is tremendously annoying and scary. We used to say that we were "being shelled." Lay low, wait it out. It gets great and good, you think you are done and then WHAMMO!

It passes. The fact you are trying to get off is beautiful.

Kel - hopefully you are still out there, still hopeful and still wanting to get out of the Tramadol trap.

Love and Healing,
Emily





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by marysdaughter, Nov 13, 2008
I am soooo glad to have found this site.  I am trying to kick the Tramadol habit and it is so painful.  I had 3 different doctors prescribing different dosages.  Of course I wasn't taking it all at the same time but I was increasing my dose so that I was needing up to 3 prescriptions to get me through the month.  Well, it all came crashing down last friday when my insurance company "flagged" me for possible doctor shopping.  I wasn't shopping at all.  The docotrs were giving it to me and I thought it wasn't hurting me!!  

So...as of Friday all 3 doctors have refused to even treat me.  My long time family physician wouldn't even see me to check on my cholesterol medicine or get a flu shot!!!  How is that for "helping"??  I had  Had 6 200mg. slow release tablets that I have tapered as best I could.  Today I took 50 mg. this morning and that is all for today.  Tomorrow will be my very last Tramadol.  I am not sleeping and am experienceing all the symptoms I ahve read here.  I am a 55 yr. old teacher that will be retiring in December.  I think God has brought me to thsi crossroad to force me off the Tramadol and get my life back.  MY fear of this withdrawal is excruciating.  I have taken off the entire week to try to get through the worst.  What is the Thoma method?  I will have ot look that up.  

My family CAN NOT know what is going on because it would devastate them.  I have been the rock of this family for the past 5- 6 yrs after caring for my Alzheimers mother and recently having a grandchild diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy.  The tramadol made it all manageable but on the other hand I was constantly thinking of how to juggle all 3 prescriptions.  I want my LIFE back!!  I need support though!  Is anyone out there for this grandmother?


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by EmilyPost, Nov 13, 2008
Hi MarysDaughter;

We're all here for you. I've been off Tramadol for months now. I took it for physical injuries from a car accident. Lower back pain and sciatica. At the end I was on 6-10ish 50 mg capsules. I think it was 5 years I was on Tramadol, but I'm still not very sure.

I do think what has happened to you is a blessing in disguise. Maybe really deep disguise, but nonetheless!

The pain is temporary. Try and focus on making yourself more comfortable.

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/1573

That is a post on Thomas Recipe ... aka The Thomas Detox. It's a discussion of the recipe.

Here's the standardized Thomas Detox Recipe ...
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=76


You are lucky to have a week off, I would get to the store and stock up on things you will need for comfort. Apple Juice, water, soups, vitamins you put in water like emergen-C packages. I'd buy Buy Batherapy by Queen Helene in Lavender. The salts help with hot baths. Immodium AD is great.

Read the entire journal and make a big list of everything you need.

I know you can do it; esp now that you are being forced into it.

And to be honest, one of the things Tramadol does, is it tricks you into thinking it is helpful, when it isn't. Tramadol got you into trouble. Both with Doctors and with an Insurance Company. Nothing good or helpful about that. As far as telling your family, it is up to you. I found that only people who were going thru it could understand. My husband was understanding.

I'm really sorry you find yourself here in this position, but you are NOT alone!

Love and healing,
Emily

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by marysdaughter, Nov 13, 2008

Dearest Emily,
Thak you for taking time ot reply!  I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a pain management doctor who does the subrone program??  Do you know much about it, how effective is it, should I do it??
My pain started with fibromyalgia, then a torn ham string on top of it about 5 yrs ago and the pain meds kept increasing.  I found myself able to function when I had the tramadol and before long I realized I was hooked.  I thought I could come of but everytime I tired the wd symptoms disrupted my life.  I didn't have the time to take off.  Now that I am retiring from teaching in the next few days, I have a lot of unused sick days to use up.  I have family coming in for Thanksgiving and I need to be able to function.
This pain clinic doctor sounded so hopeful and realistic in its expectations.  he said I would be able to function and the medicine tricks the brain receptors.  I don't want to get hooked on something else??!!
Any advice!?
Marys daughter

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by EmilyPost, Nov 13, 2008
Dear MarysDaughter;

The Suboxone Program? For Tramadol withdrawal?

I wouldn't do it. But it is your decision. And I am not a Doctor. I wouldn't want to change Tramadol for something else, because I just wanted off.

I don't know anyone who has done that for Tramadol. Eventually you will need to taper off Suboxone and I actually have no clue how bad that would be. I am 100% certain there are people on this site who know about Suboxone but not for Tramadol withdrawal.

My impression of Pain Management Clinics or Programs has always been bad.

I don't actually think that there is an easy way out of this drug or any drug once you have reached the point you are at. I think you have to be willing to go thru withdrawal. But that's my opinion. I was offered so much medication, but when it came down to the point where more medication was needed, I realized it was all crazy. And I realized Tramadol (and most of the opiates and even muscle relaxants) were turning on me and making my pain worse.

I think your expectations of yourself to be a Superwoman for your Family are honestly in need of serious looking-at. No one can do that. Taking time off because of withdrawal is not a big deal. Dying because you've been drugged for years and are taking too much medication is a big deal. One thing I accepted was that I can't be perfect, and I can't force my body to do more than it can. Regardless of how Type A I am. It's an unhealthy relationship with yourself to be frank, to expect that you will be Superwoman with the Physical and Emotional Challenges you have. Look thru this site and ask questions about Suboxone and the pain clinic you are considering. It's really important to NOT get addicted to something else.

How awful is the Suboxone withdrawal?

You'd be done with the hardest part of Tramadol in 3-4 days and you'd be kind of functional in 7 days.

It's absolutely your decision, but you asked ... so those are my thoughts. I don't think there is an easy way out and I think you are too hard on yourself.

Love and Healing,
Emily

I would not agree to anything without a great deal of research first.

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by marysdaughter, Nov 14, 2008
Emily,
Thank you for your input.  I am going to do some more research and talk with the doctor before I make a decision.  I do NOT want to get hooked on something else for certain.  Your insight is spot on!  My decision making skills are somewhat cloudy I am afraid.  I am hurting, sick to my stomach, had a migraine tonight, and just miserable.  Oh Lord, how did I get myself into this mess.  I am an educated person who hated watching my Dad go through this alcohol and tranquilizer addiction in the 60's and 70's when not much was available.  I inherited his propensity for addiction I am afraid.

I think I have been self-medicating my depression.  I had no idea about the dirty little secret of Tramadol being not only pain but serotonin properties.  Doctors think this stuff is safe, give it to you, and then think you can just stop taking it.  I am sure a beautiful little drug rep. told them all about it's NON-Narcotic properties.  My doctor told me he was giving me something safer after my ham string tear.  I had never heard of tramadol but boy did it make me feel better, not high, just better.  Like some of you have said, it is a devil drug that is getting thousands of folks just like me hooked.

If anyone has been given this drug, PLEASE do not take it.  The cost is too high a price to pay for momentary relief. I would have been the LAST person on earth to have ever gotten addicted but I did.  Admitting that is hard but truthful.

Pray for me as I take this journey to recovery..
Thanks Emily

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by Organica, Nov 14, 2008
Dear Marysdaughter,

Your story really touched a cord with me.. I am in the throws of getting off this awful drug, given to me, too, for fibromyalgia that was and still is extreme.  I too had a drug-addicted father, and I think I too have been self-medicating depression. Your insights, and your bravery in facing them, are making me face my own.

It is all so insidious, isn't it!  I specifically asked my doctor for non-addictive pain relief and she gave me Tramadol.
  
But the wonderful thing is finding this site!... There is a wealth of information, and those of us going through this, or been through it, can support each other. I keep singing Emily's praises, but look how many people have benefitted from this site.

Emily is obviously skeptical of medical advice and intervention in all of this, and I really must agree with her on that. I'm not sure that they really have any idea. How could they when they treat people like a pariahs when they cannot get off the drugs the doctors so freely administer?

Whatever you choose to do, good luck, all strength and prayers,


Sue

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by marysdaughter, Nov 15, 2008
Emily & Sue, (sorry but this is a long post)

I did my research, prayed a LOT, went to the Dr. and I have either made a good decision or a horrible one.  You guys will just have to stick with me and see how things go.  When I got to the Dr.'s office I realized she wasn't a pain management Dr. but a psychiatrist!  In fact, I had had a lot of dealings with her professionally because she has treated many of my school children over the years and some adult friends.  I guess the wd fogg kept me from recognizing the name or specialty.  Can I say Tramafog!!

I had a very favorable opinion of her professionally from my past dealings so I was somewhat relieved on that count.  I knew her to be very conservative in her treatment and very compassionate.  She has a very good reputation and is not flashy like a lot of the Pain clinics/dr.s around here.

She talked to me and worked with me for over 2 hours if you can believe that?  Fortunately I have very good insurance but I did have to pay cash up front for the first visit.  She and I both agree that I have been self medicating myself for years for issues that go waaaaaay back to childhood.  I am not one of these people who blame all my problems on the fact that my parents looked at me sideways one day and left me permanently scarred.  However, I do have some messy abuse issues that I have NEVER told anyone alive on the planet. Soooo I think my "pain" issues have their origins in an entirely different vein than I ever realized.

I also have some significant heart health issues that she thought a "cold turkey" approach would intensify and possibly be dangerous.  She was also in agreement with all of our assessments on the antidepressent aspects of tramadol and the fact that doctors are prescribing it without really understanding its addictive properties.  

I AM going to use the Suboxone but only at 4mg 2x daily  The lowest dose is 8mg. but I have done so well on the first dose I got to cut this morning's dose in half and it was more than adequate.  She also prescribed Cymbalta to counteract the wd from the SSRI properties and also get me on a legitimate plan to treat my depression.  Cymbalta is particularly good for Fibro in my research.  She and I talked about Lyrica but I told her I had tried it twice and Lyrica made me feel horrible.  She also feels like my recovery will be a matter of a few months (approx. 6 months) but of course, as she reiterated, no one has a crystal ball but God.  I had to write down my goals of what I thought would be a successful outcome and what my expectations were of the program.

I will go weekly for personal therapy sessions and some group sessions if she thinks I need  more support.  I came out of there feeling like someone actually "knew" my dirty little secret and was going to help me in a realistic plan that won't put me in danger of a heart attack or seizure.

She was very realistic and told me not to expect complete pain relief all the time.  She believes getting to the root of my need to self medicate will allow me to take control of my life.  With a doctor medically supervising me I won't be in as much danger.  I have to carry a medical alert card along with a whole list of things I need to do anytime I go to a dentist, doctor, etc....  
I have an appointment with a new Family Dr. on Dec. 1st since my old one "dropped me". My "Psych" (good grief, I am officially crazy) Dr.  will work closely with the Internist to keep tabs on my heart and other health issues.  This way everyone knows what I am taking and no more secrets with my medical professionals.  I plan to tell my husband that my new doctor is a psychiatrist but no more than that.  My sweet husband is having some health issues and he doesn't need this bomb dropped on him.  He will be Ok since he knows how I battle anxiety and depression.  I will eventually tell him when the time is right.  God has a way of showing me or forcing me into facing my demons on His time schedule.

I know you guys may not approve and I may be wrong, but for now I have to take this step.  I feel good about it but will not stop praying and asking God to give me wisdom and discernment concerning these decisions.  I would appreciate the opportunity to remain here and report my progress either good or bad.  I still need support and input from many sources.

I slept some better last night and still have some wd symptoms since I am not taking large doses.  I don't want to be completely pain free.  I want to FEEL , does everyone understand the need to feel and not mask the feelings???

So..I begin my journey...  God be with me and ALL of us here battling this demon!!!
Marys Daughter




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by Organica, Nov 15, 2008
Dear Marys Daughter,

I'm sure no-one here will feel it is their right to approve or disapprove - you do what you feel is right.

I am concerned, however, about the Cymbalta, more than anything else.  I actually hadn't heard of it before, but I researched it and it looks a little like a 'fryingpan into the fire' scenario.
  
I also really understand how difficult it is to remember and to make descisions considering the circumstances.  I am doing a gradual taper and can feel my mind slowly returning.  I eat better (Tramadol seemed to tell me that junk food was just fine!), and spend less (I was never materialistic, but the stuff I have accumulated since being on this drug!  It is so weird!).  Tell that to a doctor and they would really look at me strangely!  I have made bad decisions based on fear. Before tramadol, all my decisions were based on morality and the good of the whole (sounds very pious, I know, but that's me). So not recognising the doctor is really par for the course.

I am wondering whether it is worth actually telling someone - I am so private, and live alone.. I have a friend whom I know would be absolutely non-judgemental, and yet I don't do it.  I am wondering whether it is just my ego getting in the way and that it would feel good if someone knew.  I know that you now have the doctor, but I was just wondering whether telling your husband would help.  Just a thought.  I think if anyone saw this profile, their 'blame response' would be lessened or would disappear altogether.

And yes, not completely removing the pain makes us human, doesn't it?

Would you consider learning meditation techniques? The ones that work for me are those that allow us to be a witness to what we are going through.. to find the part of us that is peaceful and calm and wise, and watch the rest.  It takes time to learn, but it is helping me.  And to try, as much as possible, to be in the moment.  That means letting go of the "what will they think if??, the "what if I can't", the "I'm managing now but what about tomorrow"  etc.  I think, somehow, you may be doing that already, as you do want to feel, not avoid.

I've had a horrendous couple of days, but I keep remembering what Emily said about how it comes and goes - you can be great for a while and then whammo!  But it always gets better, and for longer.

The very best of luck, Marys Daughter... I would love to hear how you are going.

Sue

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by myownfault, Nov 16, 2008
I am truly amazed by all of you who have courageously shared your experience on this site.  I am writing in hopes of extracting some info regarding my particular situation.  I have had bouts with painkiller addictions before, but none have been like this, as you are all well aware.  I saw the bottle in my relatives medicine cabinet and, like always, I researched the drug on the internet.  The minute I read that Tramadol was a synthetic opiate, I was obliged to give them a try.  Of course, I never thought to Google withdrawal symptoms at that time.  I did not even like them, they elicited no feel good effect like vicodin or percocet, but they did help me sleep long hours which has not been possible in years.  All I read on the internet is that they are not addictive and they are considered much weaker than any of the other opiates I had loved.  I started popping two 50mgs a day for sleep.  I was happy to be getting sleep and I lied to myself time and time again that I would only take them when I truly needed to sleep.  OF COURSE, I am now addicted.  The reason why I am writing, and I do apologize for the rambling of the stuff you all already know, is that I have been taking two a day for two months and I tried not to take any today and felt horrible.  Could I be withdrawing from this meager amount for this short of a term?  Is this stuff that powerful?  I redressed the situation by taking a pill.  I decided I would only take one and then a half tomorrow but I feel horrific and need another.  Now that I am writing this I am starting to realize how silly it is.  I am obviously addicted and I need to withdraw.  I suppose my new reason for writing this is to warn others of how quickly you can get addicted and how little you can be taking.  I have taken vicodin over months before (for real pain) and suffered no withdrawal symptoms.  If I had my own prescription I would look into suing just to help lift the guise of this drug.

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by Organica, Nov 16, 2008
Hi, myownfault,

It is interesting how the drug affects people differently.. and of course that also means how it affects withdrawal. I didn't even try getting off it at two months, as it was prescribed for the problem and was, at that stage, working wonders!
But I would not be at all suprised if it is problematic at that stage.. at least you have caught it early!

I cannot speak for Emily, who is the exceptionally brave woman who started this. However I am doing the slow taper technique...I have been on it for many years, at up to 3 times the dose you are taking.  
But it is such early days... can you just take the time out and stop them? If you read through all the posts, you will have an idea of what to do and expect.

As for suing.. I thing the only thing that would work in that area is a group action, lots of money, and very clever and dedicated lawyers..

Please do this now... you really have caught it before it becomes just so difficult.

The very best of luck,

Sue

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by kel226, Nov 17, 2008
I am still here and still on tramadol.  I actually convinced my doctor to let me have a "care free" Thanksgiving and Christmas without having to worry about withdrawaling from tramadol.  I am terrified for the time they say no more.... I was reading about the Serotonin properties of tramadol and I realized this must be why I haven't had any migraines since I have been on tramadol.  So, I am still battling with whether or not I should quit.  I don't know, I like how it makes me feel and not having migraines is definitely an added bonus, but I know somewhere deep inside that I need off of it too.  Some days, its all i think about, and most days, I worry about being able to get more, it consumes me...............   I know what I have to do, but I am scared.

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by marysdaughter, Nov 17, 2008
Dear kel226,
I can just feel your fear!  Your words could me my words when I first realized I had a problem.  This stuff gets you quickly and at low doses.  I realize now that the early doses of 37.5w/tylenol were even getting me hooked.  When I ran out of that first prescription, those horrible restless legs set in and I immediately thought it was the pain from my torn ham string getting worse OR the Fibromyalgia flaring back up.  I now know it was tramadol withdrawal.  
At my age, I have arthritis, fibro, and carpal tunnel along with a myriad of knee/shoulder issues.  Tramadol is the drug of choice with doctors these days and my primary care doctor told me to take it for my fibro.  Of course every other doctor was telling me the same thing and all of a sudden I had 3 prescriptions!  I had no intention of doctor shopping but there it was....enough tramadol to take the pain away and feel "normal".  I could get so much done and feel so good, not high, just good.  There was the antidepressent properties.
Then came the refill issue and after 3 yrs. it caught up with me.  My insurance company flagged me and I was left with nothing!  In all honesty, it was the best thing that could have happened because I have been forced to face my demon.  I had a few pills left to taper for 4 days but then I was on my own.  That is when I found this post and research on suboxone.  I found a doctor locally that treated on an out patient basis, called and as of Friday, I have been on that treatment.  This doctor is a psychiatrist (which really freaked me out at first but then I don't have many options at this point) and has a very good track record.  In my line of work, I have actually had professional dealings with her but of course we had never met face to face.  
I am on the lowest dose available and having very minor wd symptoms.  I can sleep and function and hopefully this treatment will be complete by Spring.  At least that is my prayer.  I, too, wanted a stress free holiday and then realized that my lack of prayer and alone time with the Lord is how I got in this predicament.  I am a woman of strong faith but things like this can happen to anyone 5 seconds out from under the umbrella of His protection.  I have felt so weak and allowed my pride to not let me seek help.  I'm still unable to tell my husband.  he is not in good health and this would kill him.  I just have to believe that My Lord is going to help get me through this.  I have to be willing to accept responsibility and face the pain.  
I went to TurntoHelpNow.com and found a local doctor that trreated on an outpatient basis.  You may want to check it out.  Like everyone ahs said, we are all trying to find out way and no one can say one way is better than another.  Facing the need to get off of Tramadol is the first step
You will have others to support you here on this post.  Emily has so graciously made this venue available for us.  She is the one to be commended for having the guts to make her struggle visible for all of us needing help.
Keep posting and praying
Marysdaughter

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by marysdaughter, Nov 17, 2008
Organica,
I appreciate your input as well and am returning to my "quiet times" alone in prayer.  You are right when you speak of finding that part of us that is peaceful and calm.  I had gotten in such a whirlwind of "doing" that I pushed this part of my life completely out.  Living alone must be difficult at times especially when you are going through what we are going through.  However, I am not alone physically in the house like you but  I am still fighting this battle on my own.  I take that back!  I was trying to fight it on my own and God reminded me He was still there..I was the only one who had moved.  Events conspired to the degree that I believe it was God directing me to this outpatient treatment plan I am on.  I told God I was too stupid to know anybetter so He had better close the doors that needed closed and open the ones needing opened or I was one Mighty weapon of mass destruction headed for ignition.
I appreciate the responses and hope I can be of help to someone else as I try to get off this stuff.
Blessings to everyone

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by Organica, Nov 17, 2008
MarysDaughter..
One of the most effective organisations for working with addiction is alcoholics anonymous, and the 'soul' of their 12 point plan is giving oneself over to a Higher Good.. So it is wonderful that you already have that faith to sustain you!
peace and strength,
Sue

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by Organica, Nov 17, 2008
A question..

I was kept awake all last night with the most phenomenal itch!  I remember when I first started on this drug there was a bit of an itch involved, so I wouldn't have expected it as a withdrew.  
Of course it could be something else altogether (that's the trouble with this process - we tend to attach everything to the process and something else could be going on, so, once again, SO GRATEFUL for this post!!)
It was only on one side of my body, but it moved all over that side... I had to go to bed with a wooden spoon so I could reach the really tricky bits :)
Has anyone had anything like this?

And Kel... It is so tempting not to face it, but you are!...you keep coming back to the 'get off it' option.  Stay strong and you know you will be able to do this..

Peace and strength,

Sue

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by Ronniemc, Nov 18, 2008
I have been taking Tramadol for 5 months now for Osteoarthristis. I couldn't beleive how much it helped the pain. I thought I had found the greatest drug out there. It also helped that I started losing weight. I started off taking 4 50mg pills a day and then I cut back to two. I have not tried to come off of them because the only real side effect I have had is weight loss. I went from 150lbs to 135lbs over a 5 month period.
My question is Has anyone else the side effect of losing weight? I have heard of people taking Tramadol to lose weight but gained it all back when they got off of it.
I would like to stop taking it and see how I feel but after reading your blog, I am scared to death. Is there any long term side effects or dangers of taking this.

Thanks
Rhonda

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by Organica, Nov 18, 2008
Hi Rhonda,

I think that the weight loss is probably far more likely to be because you are able to be more active.. pain really slows us down!  If you had an alternative medication that worked it may do the same thing.

As for long term side effects, I guess you mean other than the withdrawal factor.  I would have to say that this drug changed me considerably. I have been on it for many years, and am now down to a third of the original dose. I feel as though I am getting myself back. It is such a revelation that, no matter how difficult the withdrawal, I am not even the slightest bit tempted to up my dose again.  For a while there, I WAS tramadol - very little 'me' left.

Also, the pain relief did not last, for me at least. I thought my pain was worsening, but I now know the drug was losing potency, pain-wise.

Emily, whose post this is, gives indepth descriptions of her experience with the drug, as do the others whom she has encouraged to post with their stories.

I know we all sound very negative about the drug, but for good reason.

Very best wishes,

Sue

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by rainlace, Nov 21, 2008
I appreciate all of your struggles with tramadol.  I have been free of it for 2 and 1/2 months.  I did a gradual taper which is much better than cold turkey which I have also done several times.  

What I want everyone to know is how tramadol lowers your threshold for seizures.  I had one behind the wheel.  Luckily, the car was just parked and no one was hurt but I had to be rescued by police breaking my window to get me out.  The neurologist said he sees at least 4 cases of tramadol related seizures a year in his office alone.

I'm still having trouble sleeping and continue to have restless legs at night.  It feels like the drug is still attached to some of my cells.  It  feels like metal shards dig in and don't let go completely.  I think that's why the with-drawls come and go and last so long.

Thanks for this helpful forum.  

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by marysdaughter, Nov 21, 2008
Organica, I remember having intense itching with tramadol in the beginning and come to think of it I was itching as a wd symptom as well.  I was feeling so crappy that itching was the least of my worries.  It must be part of the nervous system, don't you think?  How is it doing now?  Hope you are doing weel especially before the holidays.

Rainlace, you are very lucky your seizure didn't have worse consequences!  The restless legs is the worse wd symptom with tramadol.  I wanted to scream!  I couldn't find any relief.  Heating pad would give SOME relief but not for long.

I am 8 days off tramadol and on the outpatient suboxne program.  It is the best decision I have made since getting on this stuff.  I am under the care of one doctor and she thinks I am doing great!  I began on 16 mg. of suboxone but didn't need that much.  In 3 days I was already using 4 mg 2x daily and next month I will go to 2mg. 2x daily I have tried 2mg with no wd symptoms but I was given a medical reason why I shouldn't mess with the dosage right now.  I feel like I am on track to being free of all drugs.  No more worrying about getting a refill or will the doctor prescribe it again.  You were so right when you said it wasn't the pain getting worse but the need for more tramadol!!!  Oh deceptive this drug is!!!

Please do not use this drug for more than one prescription.  It is addictive at very low doses and quickly.  It doesn't happen to everyone but you don't know if you will be the one.  I would never have dreamed it would have been me!  I had never taken drugs or even drank before.  I was a very sober person who prided myself on self-control.  I realized quickly that in my own strength, I am helpless.  5 seconds away from the protective hand of God, and I am no better than the drug addict on the street.  I am humbled by God's mercy and grace.

I pray everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving.  May God help us all through our struggle.
Marys Daughter

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by Organica, Nov 21, 2008
Marysdaughter, that is interesting regarding the itching. I had it at when I started taking tramadol, and it was just mild. But this itching is extreme.  Last night it drove me crazy!

It is very warm and humid here, so maybe that exacerbates the situation. I am simply assuming it is part of the withdrawal.  I am down to around 75mg daily, which is still a lot, considering how I'm feeling. Yesterday was 50, and that may be why the itching was so bad last night. And there is quite a bit of 'dark night of the soul' stuff.

But I'll get there.. we all will!

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by dyingfornormality, Nov 22, 2008
can you go thru withdrawal from tramadol after 6 days of using 4-8 50mg everyday? I used them to help in getting off off suboxone..2mg. I know it wasnt the best idea, and now Im regreting it..but I have to face the consequences. I just want to know what to expect. I tapered off the suboxone correctly, however felt crappy two days after I planned to stop. I thought tramadol was safe and it would just help me get over the hump. Now reading this I realize I was wrong. I only have been taking them for 6 days. 4-8mg a day as the docter told me to take two..its for my endometrosis. Like I said I thought I was taken something safe...will I experience withdrawal? Thank you for any responses...I really need them to keep my strength..this has been a long road for me and I thought I finally won the battle and now Im afraid I messed that up!

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by Organica, Nov 23, 2008
dyingfornormality, it is really hard to make calls on this as you are in such a position. But I have been doing a lot of research and it seems that it is quite feasible to have withdrawal at a very early stage.. a week could be quite possible.

Having said that, I am going through pure hell after years on it, and I am still tapering.  So PLEASE don't make the mistake of staying on it for longer than is absolutely necessary.

Peace and strength,

Sue

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by Organica, Nov 24, 2008
I have just been browsing back over past posts and saw a link Emily had provided that indicated that there is some evidence that long-term Tramal use could cause peripheral neuropathy.
  
Just before I tapered off, I was unable to use my right arm, and peripheral neuropathy was the diagnosis. The pain went from my shoulder to my fingers and my arm was swollen.  I can definitely equate the time it started to ease to a couple of weeks after I started to taper my dose. Now the incredible itch I have is in the same area.

Generally, the symptoms of long term use and of withdrawal really feel like, and create symptoms of, very bad diseases.  I thought I had everything from more auto-immune diseases to cancer.  

Now I am just trying very hard to get off this jolly thing so I can see myself as I really am.

Onwards and Upwards!!

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by EmilyPost, Nov 24, 2008
Dearest Sue;

Yep. Big study showing that after a year of use, Tramadol (even at normal low doses) can cause neuropathy. The pain I had in my right leg (sciatica and nerve damage from Big Car Accident One) was intensified by the Tramadol. I actually wanted to rip off my own leg. When in early withdrawal I had to wrap my leg with ace bandages and Velcro ice packs to it.

Like you the area I felt withdrawal into, was an area I noticed a great deal when I first started Tramadol.

I'm so glad you are tapering and you are doing such a beautiful job at it too!

I agree with this, "Generally, the symptoms of long term use and of withdrawal really feel like, and create symptoms of, very bad diseases.  I thought I had everything from more auto-immune diseases to cancer."

So true. If you read the whole Journal there's a very kind man whose wife was told she had LUPUS. She didn't. She had Tramadol. So annoying.

I was laughing cause, I wish I had been thinking more clearly to get a wooden spoon for itching! Yes, I had it too. I also had loss of appetite (not in a good way ... made me crave junk food) and more importantly loss of SELF. Loss of laughter, loss of joy. In the beginning diminished pain, but not diminished enough to say that it was indeed "managing my pain."

It just took ahold of me so quickly. The Suicidal Ideation scared me to death!! I so wish I had known that was from the drug. I still do not believe for one second that the Doctors do not know the potential dangers of Tramadol. Not for a moment do I believe that. I believe they are culpable. Responsible for making people into addicts or making tem dependant. Which when you get down to taking the Tramadol is kinda similar .. your body doesn't care .. it just wants the devil pill.

Anyhow, I love myself NOT ON TRAMADOL. It has been such a long time now without it. I remember a feeling ... almost like constant panic. Low level anxiety. Which was form the drug. They put me on Klonopin for that and I am tapering off that now.

I don't think it is unreasonable to blame Tramadol for every symptom you have. It's how you get off the drug. Get good and mad, and take action. Make it the first priority.

I barely barely remember spring and summer ... I lost alot of time to this drug.

To be who you are ... with no Tramadol is all worth it in the end. The pain of withdrawal is normal and not to be feared. More feared would be to continue living on a pill you know is a life stealer.

Love and Healing,
Emily

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by tramateacher, Nov 24, 2008
Well, I did it! I'm off!        *jumps up and down and yells "woo hoo! woo hoo!*     It's only been a few days now, and I've been up until 5 in the morning every night because of the restless legs symptoms, but other than that I feel fantastic! Saturday was pretty bad. I had a headache, bad stomach cramps, tremors, and just general malaise and all over aching. But Sunday I felt great! Tonight the RLS seems a little worse than last night, but it could just be that I'm getting a little tired of staying up all night and not getting any sleep until 5 am. I'm a teacher and I'm on Thanksgiving break right now so luckily I don't have to worry about going to work or any of that stuff for another week.

Emily, what you say up there about loving yourself NOT on Traamadol....that is so true! I had totally forgotten what it felt like to be just me. No drugs, just me. It feels WONDERFUL! For all of you out there who are thinking about getting off this drug and are scared, don't be! Read Emily's whole journal, make a plan and GET STARTED! It is SOOOOOO worth it! It took me a little over a month, but I have never felt more alive in my life! Even with these stupid withdrawal symptoms I feel better off of Tramadol than I did on it! JUST DO IT! You won't regret it! Then you'll be back here like me, telling the world and thanking Emily for her motivating inspirational journal.

I'm still having the biggest problem with restless legs symptoms, but I have a plan. I had problems with RLS back before I started taking Tramadol and the only thing I found that got rid of them was fasting. I went on a 5 day juice fast and by the 3rd day the RLS was gone. I never had a problem with it again until I started taking Tramadol.

The research that I found on fasting said that what happens is that the body is unable to eliminate all the foreign junk we feed it so it stores toxins in the fat cells and excess minerals that it can't absorb settle and crystallize around the joints, which can cause irritation and inflammation. when you fast, the body doesn't have to spend energy digesting and dealing with all of the food so it spends its time "cleaning up." It dissolves all the toxins and excess waste that's collected over the years.

So Friday, the day after Thanksgiving (I wouldn't dare try to start this before Thanksgiving) I'm going on a 10 day fasting cleanse. This time I'm going to do the Master Cleanse, which is also known as the Lemonade Diet. I just feel like now that I'm off of the Tramadol I need to reboot my system so to speak and start over. Has anyone else ever felt that way? Like you just want to clean house and start over cause you didn't do it right the first time?

Alright well, it's almost 4:30 in the morning here and I'm realllllyyyyyy starting to ramble so I'll post this and go pace around the house a bit. Only another 1/2 hour or so and I can get some sleep. I'm not sure why 5:00 a.m. is the magic hour for my joints to finally settle down and let me get some rest, but so far that's been the pattern.

To all of you wonderful people, hang in there and be strong! If I made it to the end, anybody can.

Faith and strength,
Cecie

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by Tone_1976, Nov 24, 2008
Hi guys

Thanx 4 all the info, and even though Ive never met any of u, Im proud of u....

Ive got 2 prolapsed discs L4/L5, and started taking Tramadol 100 SR about 4 years ago.......Ive never taken any more in one day, and I take my tablet in the morning at about 7 am................

My doc gave me a prescription for 50 SR because I wanted to stop takin them, not because I thought it was addictive, but I just had enough. Now Ive found out all this info Im scared!!!!!!!!!!!

Will the drop from 100 to 50 SR be severe???????   Ive never ever taken more than 1 pill a day, and dont feel the need to take more, even 20 hours after taking my pill in the morning...........

I know my intake and concerns probably sounds petty to some, but since taking Tramadol, especially the last year, I just dont feeel myself........

I already suffer from anxiety, have a 2 year old son, just got a new job, and my wife and I  went thru a stillbirth this year........I dont know if I could handle anymore pain!!!!

Please Help!!!!!!

Peace...........Tony

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by Organica, Nov 24, 2008
Cecie... Well done you!!!   And I know exactly what you mean about the cleansing bit.
Yesterday I did shankhaprakshalana, a yogic cleansing practice. There is a short one (laghoo shankaprakshalana) and a long one (poorna shankhaprakshalana), and I sort of did an inbetween one. Google it if you want to know what it is (although people really need to have a good teacher to take them through it). Anyway, I did it for just the reasons you describe.  I used to do it regularly, pre-Tramal, but just seemed to lose the drive......

Even though I'm still tapering, I am getting the restless nights.  I either take a mega-dose of valerian (otherwise known as locker-room-socks), or, if I'm really bad, I take Mersyndol (do you have that over there? It is an over-the counter painkiller with paracetamol, codeine and a sedative). Trouble with the Mersyndol is that I feel really hung over the next day.  Perhaps I should just stay awake as you are, and go with the flow of it.

Emily.. I really know the junk food thing.  I CRAVE it and have to make myself eat good things. I am taking your advice and, whenever I pass a juice bar I go the the healthiest, even though the the little Tramal-devil inside me is saying "chocolate ice-cream shake with cream and sprinkles".  As I said once before, I used to be an incredibly healthy eater, pre-Tramal. Come to think of it, I used to be a lot of good things pre-Tramal.  I am very much looking forward to being post-Tramal!

Thank heavens for this site.  It really has given me the impetus and the courage to do this.



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by Organica, Nov 24, 2008
Hi Tony... I'm sorry, I was posting as you did, and so couldn't answer you in the last post.

The fact that you feel you want to stop is great - your body/mind is telling you something.

It is good that you are on a low dose.. why not just try going down to 50 and see?  If you need to do a really slow taper you can do 100 one day, 50 the next, till you can just do 50.

Honestly, if you feel it is too much, go very very slowly.. but please keep at it, and you will get there. I know I will, and I'm a big wooz. So you surely can.

Peace and strength,

Sue

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by avisg, Nov 24, 2008
Tony,
I would start by cutting the 50mg in half take one half three time in a day. So morning,noon,night in 5 to7 days cut one half out the noon half to start.Go another 5 to 7 cut the am dose out another 5 to 7 cut out the night dose .See if that helps you at all...
avis

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by Organica, Nov 24, 2008
Much better idea, Tony. Where I come from we don't have tablets unless they are time release 100s and 200s. The 50s are a capsule... much harder to go down incrementally.

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by kel226, Nov 25, 2008
Hello everyone,

    I am still here.  I have to say I am quite a skeptic.  When I started reading this page, I thought this is never going to help, everyone is just talking about how proud they are and Yeah they did it!!!   I thought, where are the people like me, the ones searching for others to help them off of the drug, not just celebrate the accomplishment.  But, I kept coming back, i don't know why, but I did.  Tonight is the first time I read this page and Got It.   My heart is sinking into my chest right now, I read about the seizure while driving and a light switch went off, I want to cry, how could I put my babies at risk like that, I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I have to stop,,,I will not let this drug put my children in danger.  I kept reading tonight and I felt such sincerity in the posting to me from Marysdaughter...Thank you.   I realize when reading these posts, I am not alone and truly the first thing I need to do is admit to myself that I am an addict.  I have been, I just don't say so.  I have been taking unnecessary pain pills for two years, ever since my twin daughters were born at 1 lb. 10 oz.   I got hooked after that and I live for my days off of work, when I can somehow justify taking three oxycodones to enjoy the night off.  Then I started on tramadol and didn't crave the pain killers anymore, and I thought that was good, until I didn't take tramadol and felt like complete ****, like I couldn't stand it,  I wanted to scream!  Now I am completely addicted and its all I think about.  I count my pills, I think about my next prescription.  I am going on a cruise next week and all I am worried about is if my prescription will last until the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!  **** this stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I am mad,,,,,,,,,,,I hate it.,,,,,,,,,,,It controls me.  If you all knew what I did for a living, you would all call me a hypocrite, but I guess I truly am.  

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by EmilyPost, Nov 25, 2008
((Kel))

No one calls anyone a hypocrite here. You are not a Hypocrite (the Tramadol is calling you a Hypocrite; the true self who loves you and loves your Babies would never call you such an ugly thing. Understand how profoundly "real" the "Drug Voice" can be. It Mimics your thoughts and speaks ugly words to you. I think Tramadol is the ugliest drug I have ever been on and that includes Vicodin which I though was dark enough that I flushed it down a toilet.

We do what we have to do to cope, until we can do better.

You're asking about what happens to the people like you who want to quit? They don't post. They maybe post once, want to quit but can't. There's tons of reasons to not quit. There's lots of doctors who keep patients on this for long periods of time with no issues, except that my opinion in that long term use is dangerous and dehumanizing.

Yes, people have seizures WHILE ON TRAMADOL. No seizures have been reported coming off Tramadol or tapering or withdrawing. The only people I know of (and bare in mind I could be so wrong here) are the people who are on Tramadol and then take more, the dose gets varied .. and the brain reacts with seizure.

Since Tramadol is a randomly acting "analgesic" according to the scheduling system ... it isn't really that amazing when you think about it that you could have a seizure while driving. I'm really glad you realized it is more about your family and the people who love you, you know? God Bless You Kel! I'm so happy you kept coming back.

The difference maybe was that what I never wrote about was the days weeks, months and years when i wanted to stop, but honestly didn't think it was the drug that was causing suicidal ideation or increased back pain. I really never suspected it because everyone (Doctors) and their Brother (also Doctors) told me how safe it was.

It really was not until my friends Girlfriend Jumped off a building in France (Yep, just found out a few weeks ago she didn't go out the window, she went up to the roof; thus ruling out any speculation it was an accident, as well as a note left to her BF, my young beautiful now horrifyingly half dead with grief friend behind ..)

It wasn't until those two moments, the realization of Kimmie's death by suicide and the drawer full of pills that something snapped. So consider that the perception is missing in the years when I wanted off but honestly  thought that Tramadol was holding me together. A lie in fact. Tramadol really is a great liar. It convinces you it is safe, no addictive, your friend. It convinces you you would not be able to cope without it. (lies)

It convinces you even worse; that you are better OFF on the Tramadol (Lie)

And when you try to taper and jump off, it convinces you that there is no need to and if you proceed, it tries to tell you you are going to die. (A Lie)

Tony, I hope you are reading. AvisG (Thank You AvisG) is correct ... jumping from 100 to 50 would cause pain. Going to seventy five would be better. Let yourself stabilize a bit and then and only then go lower. No idea how long it would take to stabilize. You can do it. Your post really affected me. Because you said, "I can't stand any more pain." I agree. It would be dangerous. We all know our breaking point. You just go slowly ok?

(((Sue))) Big hugs for you. So happy you are getting some nice fresh veggie juice in!

Love and healing,
Emily



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by Organica, Nov 26, 2008
Hi Kel... I do hope you are still coming back here.

The awful feelings of inadequacy truly are the drug... please know that.

When I had those horrible, horrible feelings of inadequacy and hypocrisy it was like death.  It took finding out from others that THAT IS WHAT THIS THING DOES TO YOU!  And that knowledge gives strength.

Make this thing acheivable - do it in the way that suits you.. even if you just cut down the tiniest bit, you will sense the achievement and this thing will begin to loosen its grasp.

Please know that you have support..

Peace and stength,
Sue

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by Tone_1976, Nov 27, 2008
Hey guys

Thanx 4 all the advice and time.....

Thanx Emily

Well, b4 I read any replies, I went straight to the 50 in the morning....felt funny all day, then started feeling **** about 4 hours before I usually used to......got home, then the shakes, fevers, shivers started........hated it!!!!!!!!!!!

But it passed, and after finally falling asleep at about 1, woke up at 4, wired and body sore.......got back to sleep after an hour.......

Woke up, and fought with my body over whether to take another 50mg..........I didnt......

Have had an awfully depressing, **** lethargic day, but none of the other symptoms yet....now 36 hours since my last tramal.........is it wrong that I stopped cold turkey?  Just thought that Ive got to do it eventually...why not right now!!!!!!

I hope theres not much pain.....I hope Im doing the right thing!!!!!

Peace and Love......T

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by EmilyPost, Nov 27, 2008
Hi Everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving!

YAY Tony! You made it 36 hours! Woo Hoo! *cheers!* You probably aren't very thankful right now, but you will be!

Oh no, there's nothing wrong with stopping cold turkey in my opinion. It's not like a Benzo. I kind of agree with your method Tony, because it's YOUR method. In other words, I don't know if my symptoms would have been lessened if I had prolonged my taper, or if I was just prolonging the agony?

I think anyone who tries to stop, has their own answer.

My answer was a really fast taper. AKA Let the pills that I had run out. When I was off a couple of weeks a big Rx arrived and I couldn't have cared less. Tramadol and I have no craving in our relationship.

The really good thing is that you are 36 hours out and it is Thanksgiving, hopefully you have off work for awhile? It's all good Tony form where I stand.

I just knew I had stop. It was instinctual and not logical. If I had known there was some kind of danger in stopping the way I did, I would have done it differently, but there was no danger.

You'll probably have some rough time, but I actually think you'll do ok. You seem, really just like me in that I just made the decision. I wasn't going to let it own me any more. It was getting insane, ridiculous and dangerous.

You've done the first hardest part. The good news is that if you are being dosed with Turkey today you'll get a ton of nice protein which is packed with , a natural L-tryptophan a sleep aid and an antidepressant! Nice Amino Acid. Also, a day when the US is forcussed on giving Thanks. I'm on a Turkey break. The Turkey gives you a good hour of rest after you put it in the oven.

This is my first Thanksgiving free of Tramadol in five years? (I'm still not sure) I do know last year; I was on Tramadol when I cooked this dinner. It feel amazing not to be worried it will run out, or worried that a Doctor will "cut me off" or worried about what it is doing to my head, my feelings, my liver. I'm profoundly Thankful.

Love and healing,
Emily

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by boomoon, Nov 27, 2008
has anyone heard of a plant called kratom to help with withdrawing from tramadol?

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by suzipen, Nov 27, 2008
Hi Emily- I cry everytime I read your posts.A good cry. A healing cry.  Its like your thoughts are my thoughts, only I cant figure it out until you say it.  Does that make sense? (I am still experiencing this weird effect of not being sure if what I am saying is making sense.)
This my 8th day with no tram! Reading your journal and posts has helped me soooooo much. The mental w/d symptoms seem to be the worse for me right now. Yea, I am still having the restless legs at night, and my stomach is a mess(bloated and hurts really bad)..............but the mood swings are HORRIBLE. I feel like I am bipolar or something. I just dont know enough about that. Guess I will research.
This was my first Thanksgiving in 4 or 5? years as well, with no tramadol. I too was always worried about my next dose, will i run out, my dr. cutting me off, and especially I worried I wouldnt be able to get it online anymore.
Always wondering "Where is that fed ex driver??????????"
Anyways,  I  am thankful beyond words for this day. And thankful for this site.


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by Organica, Nov 28, 2008
Boomoon...
I didn't know anything about kratom, but had heard of it, so I did some Googling.... this site seems 'credible'.
If the study is correct, it is just a case of replacing one addiction with another.


http://www.erowid.org/plants/kratom/kratom_journal3.shtml



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by Tone_1976, Nov 29, 2008
Hi guys

3.5 days now..........up and down, a bit anxious around other people.....no more shakes.......headache tho, and a bit dizzy sometimes and clumsy....still pretty tired.........

Feel normal sometimes, a bit weird other times 2.....also sweating alot.....is this normal?

People keep telling me to have 1 if it makes me feel like this, but then I have 2 start again right? No way..........

I hope Im doing the right thing....just wanna feel normal ALL the time again!!

Thanx Emily for your words and strength.............its helped me alot!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I appreciate it HEAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No thanksgiving in Australia, but my wife had some turkey in the fridge, so I ate that anyway  :)        

Nearly 4 days!!!!!!!

Peace and love........T




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by emergee, Nov 29, 2008
you guys who have posted have gotten me to do this and gotten me to the 3rd day.   it hasn't been too terribly bad most of the time.  the worst thing of all has been the restless legs.  they start at about midnight.  they completely freak me out and are basically intolerable.  it is impossible to sleep,  my whole body is writhing around , and the feeling under my skin is something indescribable.  2 nights now i have given in and taken a vic.  i don't want to do that and be addicted to vic when i am detoxed from tramadol.   ( just spelling that word out makes me sick) .  yesterday i went for a jog and then a walk before bed to see if i could get my legs tired.  the thing is,  it's not a leg problem ,  it's a cns problem i think.  something seriously haywire in my brain.  the upside of taking the vic is that i got sleep both nights.  is there anything at all that relieves the rls?   i take cough syrup,  clonazepam, all the aminos(except tyrosine).   and how many hours do they last? and how many weeks, months do they go on?

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by buggyboo, Nov 29, 2008
This site is a God send.  I have taken ultram/tramdol for six years for horrible fibromyalgia.  I just found out I am pregnant...very early, but pregnant nonetheless.  My OB knows about the ultram and basically just said "get off it."  Do I stop cold turkey or taper to none over a couple of days?  I was up to 8-10 50mg at my worse and am now at around 5.  I know what the withdrawl feels like as I have been low on it before.  I WILL get off it.  My question is: how many days of withdrawl if I stop cold turkey?  If I have an idea of what I am shooting for, I know I can do this.

God bless all of you who have been through this mess.

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by emergee, Nov 29, 2008
buggyboo,
   i haven't been able to determine the answer to your question and i have all the posts i think!   some say 4 to 5 days others say they are having bad days at 20 or 40.  so i want to know the answer too.  count on a week really bad i think.  you MUST stop.  you know that.  i must stop.  i was using 4 pills a day and tapered 2 days at 3 then 2.  it is bad.  this is my third day and i am not in total hell all the time.  night is hell with the rls.

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by buggyboo, Nov 29, 2008
Hi - Thanks emergee.  Yep, I think I can make it through the days, but the nights are bad...really bad.  Tonight I plan to take sominex to help knock me out (safe during pregnancy.)    Good luck.  I will keep everyone posted!

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by emergee, Dec 01, 2008
i just read most of this journal for the third time.  each time there another thing that is helpful to me.  i guess because at each stage there is a different issue.  i got through the fear of stopping.  i got through the intensely physical misery.  or most of it anyway,  at least i am not miserable every single waking second.  but now i am getting the psychologicals.  i had been really proud of myself that i had not been depressed by the withdrawal.  i think it is coming on now.  i am getting memories of my parents and my childhood flooding in .  and not in a pleasant way,  mostly about what a jerk i am ,and all the bad decisions i have made in my life.  i really hope this thread does not end because it where i have gotten the most support.  correction,  where i have felt the most support.   i don't have good support for this process in my social life.  i wonder how long the depression stuff lasts.  i wonder how long the brain fog lasts.  i am most profoundly unable to think and make effort.   if anyone is out there ,  please post something about how you are doing,  and at what stage of recovery you are.
with tremendous gratitude for every post,
emergee

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by EmilyPost, Dec 01, 2008
Hi Emergee,

I'm so glad you read the journal and that it helped you. Thank you for posting. I'm so pleased you stopped and you posted here. Thank goodness!

I'm now 165 days off Tramadol.

Yes, in my case the depression did go away.  The depression as a result of Tramadol withdrawal was intense and included Suicidal Ideation. Meaning I would get repeating thoughts ... specifically "I wish I were dead." Those thoughts lessened and vanished very soon after taking myself off the Tramadol roller coaster.

Tramadol is an evil drug. The thoughts you are having, of how bad you were and what a jerk you were, those thoughts are being caused by the Tramadol. Truth is, you did the best you could, with what you had. When you could do better; you did better.

Don't be fooled by the thoughts in withdrawal. As real as they seem, they are not your thoughts. They are not YOUR true self. Those are drug withdrawal thoughts.

You're also on day 5. Day 5 ... is still very brutal. The good part is that you'll feel under attack, and then it will ease up and you will have peace. It's random. It's not linear like a straight up opiate withdrawal.

Imodium AD (or it's generic) relieves a ton of withdrawal symptoms.

I didn't have RLS for long. It may have been less than two weeks. Lots of apples and bananas helped.

After all the massive amounts of drugs thrown at me during this ride, what I am left with is Klonopin. And codeine if I can't walk from lower back pain.

I'm tapering it Klonopin. I'm now on 1.5 mg and will go lower. The doctor put me on Klonopin to ease the side effects of Tramadol. Yeah, it is true, writing out Tramadol does make me feel a little bit sick. I went to my Psychologist today. I started to see him simply because I wanted some help and reassurance and direction as i was getting off Klonopin. So far, the tapering is on my own. He wants me to stay on 2 mg. Today was just baffling as to WHY this Doc wants to keep me on a drug i don't want to be on and that was given to me for Tramadol ... which I am now 165 days off ...

Anyhow. Everything is much more lucid. My brains are slowly recovering.

Yesterday I decorated our Christmas Trees. I haven't done that for a couple of years. My DH says it was 3 years. I remember being overwhelmed and thinking that there was no way I could do it. I also remember being insanely clumsy and breaking ornaments the first year he and i were engaged and I tried to decorate the trees. I love my ornament collection, which is lovely and huge. So to have no desire to actually look at them, or decorate with them was the height of insanity. It was like Tramadol STOLE several YEARS and many Christmases from me.

I'd love to have my time back. I'd love if I had never been put on it. But I am grateful in a way that I had to go thru what I did. It made me more wary. Stronger. More determined. Pain is a great but terrifying teacher.

I remember also in the early withdrawal that I was just so ... I needed someone to talk to about what I was going thru because it literally just felt like i was going crazy. To read or see anyone who was successful getting off Tramadol was so exciting and uplifting for me.

The fact is we all make bad decisions, but not purposefully.

Emergee, You write, "i am most profoundly unable to think and make effort. "

Yep. Bingo. That's the withdrawal. The best advice I can give you is to try to understand that YOU will recover. This is just part of withdrawal.

The brain fog doesn't last forever. I was on Tramadol for 5? Years? (No idea) and off it for 165 days .... I think the last post ... the last journal entry I had was in the day 70's ... day 60's ... the Brain Fog and symptoms were gone by then. I had another massive car accident and honestly the pain form that was not even close to the pain of being on Tramadol and then withdrawing from it. Can you imagine that? It is true!

You will recover. Time is passing. Let go of any judgements except this; the feeling, thoughts, symptoms going on now in your body are being caused by Drug Withdrawal. You will get better. It really does feel as if you are permanently disabled ... but you aren't. It's just a really really evil drug.

Love and healing,
Emily




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by emergee, Dec 01, 2008
to emily, and all,
   wonderful wonderful post.   i just started this comment with an idea i wanted to communicate and in the split second it took to scroll down and forgot what it was.   and i have been having severe memory problems for quite some time but this is ridiculous!   it would be so amazing if some of my memory problems were due to T and not to getting old and decrepit.  i am going to substiute T for the drug i was taking because it makes me sick to spell it out.   i cannot imagine how there are people who LIKED this drug.  thank god i never realized you could get high off of it.  i thought it was a superior advil.  i really did.   so i took it to feel normal.  and i had had physical symptoms for so long before i started taking it that i did not connect the dots that i was having drug induced symptoms.  
    i am so glad to hear you are humanizing , emily.  i have been viciously irritable and oversensitve to stimulation for so long.   and i thought it was all due to my divorce.   one the things i took the T for was irritability.   i couldn't stand children! they made noise!  i would change chairs at the coffee place because someone was talking too loudly.  it would be great if this backed off a bit.  i was  wondering if i would ever get over my divorce and perhaps a lot of this insanity was due to the drug.
     i am rambling on because some of the other rambling posts helped me.    emily you are a great writer.  i hope you make a living writing.   i am recommending people on the forum who are T people to look you up.  
      ah,  i finally remembered what i wanted to say.  i have been taking clonapin for a long time.   my thyroid doctor thrust them on me and i started taking them without a thought in the world.  i just found out that my normal dose is not as tiny as i had thought.  my habit has been .25 at night to sleep.  i love not ever being worried about sleeping.  i know i will sleep.   in the course of my life i have had insomnia off and on and not sleeping is,  for me,  a nightmare.  i hate being tired . i am not a tough person who endures hardship easily.  so mostly i took it at night, but if i had a hard time during the day i would take half of that.  i did not know it was habit forming either.  so i get to look forward to kicking that too.  
       that is INSANE that the doctor wants you to UP your clonapin.   the handwriting is on the wall for that guy(girl).   i have been denied drugs that are harmless and would really really help me in the short run,  eg.  inderol,  and had drugs pushed that were disgusting poison and would seriously hurt me in the long run.  about the inderol,  i might as well add this in,  i was having heart palpitions , tachycardia type feelings which my mother had,  maybe the T caused it?  i am having them constantly now that i am kicking.  
        and thank you for the detail of the xmas tree.  it helps a lot really.   i have been isolating myself,  not wanting to go out,  not finding pleasure in things, for so long.  it will be interesting to see what comes back.    and yes,  there is something oddly profound about this whole nightmarish experience.   maybe i will appreciate simple things more?  maybe i will expect less and be grateful for more?
        and one more thing .  FOR RESTLESS LEGS, TAKE HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS!!!!!!!!!!  it does work!

thank you all and please keep posting...
emergee

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by Organica, Dec 01, 2008
Hi Emily, Emergee,

Great posts!  The relief when you find the similarities and recognise them for what they are.  I am still on a taper. I was on this drug for well over 5 years, so maybe the coming off will just take time. I'd prefer not to use any other drugs in the process. Even on a taper, most days are just profoundly awful.  I wish I had the energy and desire to eat better... I seem to be gaining weight - bad eating and lethergy.

I'm not able to just stop, as I simply have to hold it together - With what I do, there can be no hint of this. And there is just me, no-one else.  The only people I can talk to about it are on this post.

A bad day... the next one will be better,

peace and strength,
Sue

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by EmilyPost, Dec 01, 2008
Sue being on a taper is very impressive. I'm sorry you had a bad day.

Thing is, we all have bad days, drugs or not.

Profoundly awful. Yep. I remember it well. I think it's just so important and lovely that you stay the course with yor taper.

((((Sue))))

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by newbie6, Dec 01, 2008
Hello all,

I have been taking Tramadol for about a year now, ranging from 300mg a day to 600mg a day at my worst.  I am now trying to taper down and cannot believe the feelings I am having.  I cannot afford to be like this at work so I am thinking I am going to wait until Christmas break when I have 5 days off and just stop cold turkey, that way I will be able to just lay around like I feel like doing all day today.  Reading this site is helpful, but also scares the heck out of me to see that some symptoms last for months.  I was thinking it would be 3-4 days max and I would be my old self again, but seeing these posts will at least help me to be more realistic in my expectations.  I don't want to stop cold turkey without some other meds to help with the withdrawels, so what should I try to get to deal with these symptoms?  I am having the same symptoms as everyone else on here, and it is utter hell.  And I haven't even stopped yet, I am only tapering!  I have a bunch of hydrocodone that could help ease the symptoms, but I don't want to get addicted to it as well!  Any help and advice would be helpful.  It just feels good to be able to talk about it on here instead of hiding it from everyone I know.

Matt

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by tramateacher, Dec 01, 2008
I LOVE coming here! it is so reassuring to read how everyone is doing trying to get away from this stupid little pill that looks oh so harmless in its little bottle.

Kel, if you are still reading posts here, don't be discouraged and listen to Emily! Those of us who are now celebrating being off this drug do so because we remember what kind of hell we went through to get off Tramadol. Don't give up! It's so worth going through the hell to get to the light at the end.

Sue, thanks for the tip on the yoga! I'm definitely going to look it up and at least give it a go. I used to do Bikram yoga like Emily and it helps considerably. Just for the record, the Master Cleanse or the Lemonade Diet *****! totally *****! that maple syrup-lemon-cayenne concoction you're supposed to suck down 6 times a day is the worst! I only made it 2 days. then I caved and ate pumpkin pie. I'm glad to read I'm not the only one wanting to scarf down anything within reach that even hints at having sugar in it. I was thinking maybe it was just me and my total lack of willpower and self-discipline.

Tone, you go! Like Emily said, don't worry about if you're doing it right, just do it in a way that works for you. If you can handle tapering off that much go for it! I remember trying to drop down 1/2 a pill, being ok for a day, but then the next day I would need a little more before I could drop down again. I had 50 mg white tablets that I would cut in 4 pieces and go down or up one little piece at a time until I was down to one measly little  piece a day, then I quit altogether.

I still have some hints of withdrawal like the RLS and some serious sugar cravings, but that is even subsiding. The RLS doesn't show up now until about 1 am and goes away about 4 am, which is much better than the 10 pm to 5 am stretch that I was suffering through.

Emergee, thanks for the tip on the Hylands stuff! I'm going to try it. I'll try anything. :> I totally relate to the not wanting to go out or be sociable or do anything that you used to take pleasure in. I was like that too, and my hubby would get so aggravated because we used to always go out and hang with friends and the like. The bad thing is that I just thought I was getting old! I thought I had just outgrown all that "juvenile partying stuff". Now I'm the one who wants to get out of the house and go do something. We're even throwing a new year's eve party this year and I'm actually looking forward to it. As far as divorce goes, it's a lot like getting off of Tramadol. the first year is the hardest, but once you get past that milestone you are sooooooo glad you're a free woman! divorcing my first husband was the best thing I ever did for my little girl and me and I have never regretted it. It's been 10 years now and my life is far better than it would have ever been if I had stayed married to that man. so hang in there!


Emily, I keep forgetting about your Imodium AD trick. I think my brain associates Imodium with my grandmother and immediately dismisses any suggestion that it might be useful for anything I might have. And your Christmas story really brought back memories! When I was taking my highest dose of Tramadol, I remember my brother and his two daughters drove from Florida to our house for Christmas. (I'm in Texas) At the time I was at my most unsociable and i was sleeping about 16 hours a day. My daughter was 12, and she and my two nieces were up at 7:00 Christmas morning salivating over the presents. But me, I slept in until noon. My hubby finally came in and dragged me out of bed because everyone else was up and waiting on me to open presents and have dinner. The worst part, I didn't care. I just wanted to sleep. I reluctantly skulked to the living room, participated in the great gift unwrapping, and then promptly lay down on the couch and went back to sleep. didn't help with dinner, didn't eat dinner, didn't help clean up after dinner.....nothing. Can you imagine? Not even being excited about Christmas? Not even about seeing your little darling open her presents and be all happy and surprised? Making the kiddos wait 5 hours to open presents and then act like it was a major inconvenience to expect me to show up for the day? I still feel guilty about that Christmas.

Since you're always giving the rest of us such great support, here's a big hug for you! (((((((((((((((((Emily)))))))))))))))))) I know you'll be off of Klonopin before you know it! If you can get off of Tramadol I believe you can break any drug habit.

Alright I'm signing off now. I'm sure you all get tired of these marathon posts, but it is such a big help to be able to come here and get all this out. Even if no one actually reads it all, just posting it up with everyone else's is somehow therapeutic. Does that sound crazy?

Faith and strength to all of you,
Cecie







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by tramateacher, Dec 01, 2008
((((((((((((((((((Sue)))))))))))))))))))))))) Hang in there! a bad day is just that. a bad day. just keep reminding yourself....it gets better...it gets better....it gets better! On bad days I always go back and read some of Emily's earlier posts. Those are the best on bad days.

Matt, it took me 36 days to taper off. There were several times when I would drop down a dose and then have to bump it back up a little because the withdrawal was so severe. Just don't give up. Listen to your body and take as little as you possibly can to get you through. Eventually you will be able to get off the drug altogether.

It's nice knowing you guys are out there posting to Emily's journal right now. :> I feel so connected.

Cecie

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by emergee, Dec 01, 2008
tramateacher,
   would you say what your status is?  how long you have been free of it?   how exactly you are feeling?  do you feel great?  i really want to know the truth.  someone else who is at 12 days reported depression.  anyone else on that?  i really like exact information on all levels.  with information i am armed for battle.  if it sneaks up on me then its scarier.  so you guys ahead of me, don't be afraid to give the bad news too.

newbie,
    i didn't mess around with tapering very much because once i found this forum and realized what a jam i was in i couldn't stand this drug in my body a second longer than necessary.   it is possible there would be less trauma to me and my life if i had tapered very very slowly but i didn't have the patience.  i also don't have to go to a job so it is perhaps easy for me to say that.  it has cost me though,  a fair amount too.    i missed an opportunity to make a lot of  money and i even knew it but i was too out of it to work.   i think some of this decision is personality too.  i tend to get passionate about stuff.  i also felt so intensely awful on the taper , it was like," why not jump off?"  i actually felt better after i did.  
     as for props and aids.  buy every single thing people have told you.   all the aminos, clonapin helps, dvds, heating pad,  hot baths with minerals,  HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS,  ( i am very serious about that one, it's the most obnoxious symptom of all and this stuff takes it away)
      and yeah,  i attributed a lot of my problems to aging.  a neck problem i had has GONE AWAY in 5 days.  

keep posting people,  it is helping me alot to hear from the T folks,  you are the ones that get it and T is different.

emergee




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by micheleTX, Dec 01, 2008
Hi.  I have been reading all the posts (well, not ALL YET lol) all day today.  I am wide awake, its 10 35pm here in TX and I would like to contribute what I know about tramadol.  My doctor put me on it in 1995 because he thought that Vic. 7.5 was too strong for me, I didn't mind at the time.  I have carpal tunnel in both hands and tennis elbow in both also, surgery on one arm, didn't work, anyway, I took tramadol for 4 years.  Not much, like 3 or 4 a day as requested on the bottle.  He had told me back then that it was NOT a narcotic (the only pain med that was NOT) and of course I believed him, he had been my doc. for 3 years and was a good one, I thought.  He also had me taking clonopin for sleep, and xanax to take during the day which I never could.  Stuff knocks me out.  It's day 1 for me off lorcet tho, bet I could take 4 or 5 xanax right now lol,,,,anyway, what I wanted to say was that maybe these doctors really believe?? that this is not a narcotic medication??  Shortly after I quit taking this in 1998 I went back to vic. then on to Lorcet.  I have a friend who lives in this travel park with me who takes ultram and she said her doctor told her it was a non narcotic.  Can they all be blind to this?  Curious about that...

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by EmilyPost, Dec 01, 2008
No Michele.

They know Tramadol is dangerous. They also know it will not get them into trouble when they hand it out like candy.

They aren't the innocent victims here. The patients who lose years of their life to this drug are.

Sweden reclassified Tramadol as a dangerous narcotic in May 2008. Becuase Sweden has one of the best health care systems in the world.

Several other countries have dealt with Tramadol in a much healthier manner than the USA.

I'm not big on the whole "poor Innocent Doctors angle." They know.

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by FinallyFred, Dec 02, 2008
Emily,  This site just possibly could save my life.  I found it about a week ago, while surfing net the net to learn how difficult withdrawing from tramadol really would be.  At that time, i thought you all were liars, because I found it impoossible to believe that anyone could actually kick this ****.  

Last Wed., I had an ahha moment and realized I was in denial abouty my addiction.   What I see now in all of your posts is hope, reassurance, and knowledge I can relate to,   Sadly, I am still a "work in process", but I am fighting it at least now instead of giving in.

My Story:  About six years ago I had bilateral (both sides) hip replacement.  I was 51 at the time. A few months after my surgeries, I needed something to taper me off the percocet so my doctor prescribed tramadol.  So I came by this addiction honestly, as I suspect most of us do.  I still can't believe that I found relief on just one of two 37.5 mg Ultrams.    But 1-2 pills were never enough.  

It's amazing how this drug sinks it's hooks into a person.  I changd doctors (the health insurance change thing) and while my initial M.D., kept me on a tight leash, the new doc prescribed 180 pills of 50 MG tradadol, which at 2/day should be a 90 day supply.  I thought more made me feel better so I increased my dosage to about 12-15 pills/day.  

Imagine how despart I became when my doctor eventually "cut me off" until I came in to see how. A consulting nurse got me a few to get me by, but ever since that time, for the past 4-5 years, I am on limited supply with a "don't fill by" date.  I am supposed to get by on 8/day but I typically took about 12 per day after each new RX came in.  by the last several days of the supply, I was on "forced withdrawal" ...ugh.  I can relate to everything others have shared except the complaints of depression.  Do some people begin taking this for depression? i thought it was only a pain med? Exactly where can somebody go to learn about what "additive ingredients" are in tramadol.  Was this a recent develoment?  

Evrey month for the past 4-5 years, I have done the "forced" withdrawal going from 8 pills/day down to only 2/day for remaining 3-4 dfays or so before I can call in the next RX.  And if my doctor doesn't happen to be in on the day I call in the RX, heaven help us all.  It is a terrible thing to go into crisis mode one day a month on RX day.  Being without iwas just not an option.

During each monthly withdrawal, I would get pins and needles in my feet and I cannot sleep.  I laughed to read someone post that they got up about 47 times during the night. I can definately relate.  

I am done (I hope) constantly withdrawing from this evil drug during the last several days of every month.  All these years, I had convinced myself that I had come down with FM, during my monthly withdrawals, because I would ache in places I didn't know I had.  My back, my feet, my knees, my arms, etc. I have the sweats, achy flu symptoms, etc. etc. like all of you.  The funny thing is, thing I originally started taking tramadol for (my hips) hardly bother me at all now. But I reasoned that the tramadol was actually doing a good thing, it was masking all of these FM type aches and pains that I had coincidentally developed while I was on this miracle drug.  

I have missed a day from work at least one time a month, for a long time now and I have felt like HELL for several more days every month as I go through my "forced withdrawal" each month.  

I am hopintg thta I have turned the page and to a large part, all of the postings on thissite, healped me to see the drug for waht it is and you all hve given me hope that I too might successfully kick this for good.  As someone said on this site a long time ago, ":it is WAR" that we must wage, one person, one moment, one day at a time,  against this evil drug. that makes us in more pain, than before we began the journey.

And what will it take to educate the medical community?   To his credit, a few months ago, my doctor did tell me that I should try to taper off this.  But he didn't really understand how serious and how difficult withdrawing really is.  "It CAN become addictive".  I thought to myself, yeah, Iv'e been taking this for six years now doctor, exactly when do you think that I should get concerned?  Yup, it certainly CAN be addictive all right doc!  His comment and the fact that he continues to fill my RX makes me think that he doesn't know how potent and frightening this drug is.

Six days ago, I figured I had three choices:  (1) continue suffering from monthly withdrawal from this evil drug every month for the rest of my life , (2) start ordering a back up stash through one of the online sites, (3) get off this bad boy.

So I am now at day six and I have gone from 8 or more 50 mg. pills/day to just 9 pills total in six days.  Tomorrow I intend to go the rest of the way cold turkey.  The reason I originally began taking this evil rat drug is a distant memory.  I am afraid that I must do it this way, for I like the way a few of those things feel way to much to stop at just 2 a day.

It's still terribly painful all over my body. When will the pins and needles in my feet finally go away for good? The sleep depervation due to loss of sleep is terrible.  Fortunally, I am on vacation this week, so I hv ethe largess of sleeping in (potentially, at least)

I have learned a great deal from all of the postings here Emily.  Thank you for monitoring this site long after your personal addiction was beaten, at least for today.  

In closing, I too am struck by how little the medical community knows about this drug.  Coincidentally, I had a check up today with my orthopedic surgeon on my original problem, artificial hips.  This was a board certifed surgeon I was talking to, who undoubtedly has prescribed the gammit of pain killers for patients over her years in practice.  I told her that I am trying to get off the stuff and I asked her point blank, what do you know about withdrawl from tramadol?  "I really know nothing about withdrawal from that drug", she replied.   Emily, I can't recall whether it was you or someone else who said this, but I too am convinced that some day in the not too distant future, we will turn on 60 minutes one Sunday Night and see an exposee on tramadol.   Shortly after that, tramadol will properly become a scheduled narcotic as it ought to be.  
Wish me luck.   Finally Fred?

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by newbie6, Dec 02, 2008
Well, I just got into work after one of the worst night's sleep I have ever had.  I tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep until 5am, and then it was time to get up at 7am.  All this because I went from 6 100mg pills a day to 5 100mg pills!  I don't think I can take it, it was awful.  I just had this knot in my stomach and this uncomfortable feeling all night.  I ended up taking my usual 2 100mg pills when I woke up and now I am feeling good again.  I don't know why, but all I want to do is sleep lately.  It almost feels like all of the things that Tramadol used to give me (pain relief, increased energy and motivation, increased desire to socialize, appetite suppression, weight loss) have all turned on me and I am experiencing the exact opposite of each of those symptoms.  It is horrible.  I have gained a lot of weight in the last few months, all I want to do is sleep and be in bed watching TV or movies, never want to go out, exercise, or do the things I used to love to do.  Work is so hard to get through the day, all I can think about is going home and getting into bed.  I even go out to my car for a couple hours now and take a nap when no one in my office knows about it.  What have I become???  My in-laws have even noticed now and my mother in law wants to put me on Wellbutrin for my depression because it helped her. I have to figure out how to get off this stuff soon, but I don't know how or when.  I have a 5 day ski trip coming up that I need to feel good for so I can't do it then.  Then I am off for 5 days during Christmas at my in-laws house, and I am thinking about going cold turkey then, and just being sick like the flu for those 5 days.  My concern is going back to work after those 5 days and still feeling bad.  I don't know what to do.

Sorry for my rambling, I am all over the place after getting only 2 hours of sleep last night.  For now, I am going to put off the task until later, because I can't take it right now.

Thanks for your words of advice and comfort - keep em coming!

Matt

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by emergee, Dec 02, 2008
hi all,  
   i have to whine,  i'm sorry , i can't help it.   day 6- woke up clearer in the head- i had good expectations for the day.  it's now11 am and i am crashing and burning.   it's getting worse!   i can't believe it.   everyday has been better.  and mornings usually much better than the rest of the day.  i feel really sick.   not flu-ey,  but poisoned feeling.  anyone know that feeling?  i have taken ibuprofin and lomotil .   maybe cough syrop will help.   i don't want to take a clonapin because that is the next project i have.  getting off those babies.   my usage has been creeping up and my doc is on to it,  so my scrip will probably be under some questioning.   i feel terrible!!!!!!!!!

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by emergee, Dec 02, 2008
this drug doesn't play fair.   yesterday i was complaining about my brain.  my brain got marginally better today , but then the sickness got way worse.   i had been patting myself on the back about how well i was doing.   i was telling myself it was because i was healthier than some other posters.   i have always taken vitamins etc.  ate organic food,  no drinking.   what a joke.   what was the point of organic food if i am destroying my liver with this ****?   i only have one kidney too and i pray i have not wrecked it.    DAY 6  people.   be prepared to be suprised.   i know emily said this.   i know i know but i thought i was going to beat the odds.    the shelling.   i am being shelled.  but how do you keep your head down?   any tricks for passing through the hell zone?   the problem is the first few days you know you will be sick and you just are happy that you are enduring it without going out of your mind.   then you kind of hope it gets better.   it does get better!   then shelling!!!!!!!!incoming!!!!!!

can i say **** here?  ****!!!!!!!!!!

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by EmilyPost, Dec 02, 2008
Emergee,

You're being shelled. To pass thru the hell zone, remember to breathe. Drink some hot tea if you can. Chamomile. I used to eat a honey stick. Yes, just straight up honey.

The worst thing you can do is think about the future and everything you have to do. One day at a time is too long for Tramadol. Take it the next minute if you have to. Make a list when you can of what you do when you get shelled.

I personally would just breathe, stay still, keep warm, or cool as the body temperature fluxuated.

The problem with Tramadol is that it is not "a little better every day" consistently. It's very Random.

So you should not have expectations that you will get better in a linear way.

You'll have random horrible minutes or hours.

Knowig it is random, helped me a great deal. Remember you are loved. You matter.

Nothing was more important to me than getting off the Tramadol. And yes, I am paying for it now. Increased work load, increased stress. But I am not on a pill that would kill me. Or cause me to have a massive seizure.

Love and healing,
Emily

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by emergee, Dec 02, 2008
yeah,  T is like an angry god.   when you think you are mastering it , it laughs and smacks you back down.   that was the mistake i made- i thought i was going to get some stuff done.  ha! hot tea, that's the ticket.  thanks e.


anyone here know why artificial sweeteners are so bad?  i read that it is very important to not eat them during detox.  i know they arent' generally great but is there something special here?

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by Organica, Dec 02, 2008
(((((tramateacher)))))... thank you.  It was more of a 'bad week', but today is brighter.
Emily is absolutely right with the one moment at a time advice.  Looking forward just brings on fear.
(((Emergee))) and others doing this.. some breathing practices I have found that help:

Deep yogic breath is good, but you need to learn it from a good teacher.  To breath down into the abdomen, lie on your back, stretch your arms above your head.  Bend your knees with feet close together and then flop the knees outwards.  This will take you into deep abdominal breathing.

Square breathing is very settling - imagine a square and travel up the left side to the count of 4, inhaling. Hold the breath in for 4 as you travel along the top of the square.  Exhale for 4 down the right side.  Hold out for 4 along the base.
When the mind comes in and hounds you, mentally count louder!  Make sure you breath deeply!

Mental alternate nostril breathing:  Just imagine you are only breathing in through the left nostril for the count of 4.  Hold the breath in for 4.  Imagine you are breathing out through the right for 4.  Then go back in the right, hold, out through the left.. and keep repeating.

Awareness of breath really has helped bring me back to the moment...

Hope it helps.

Peace and strength,

Sue


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by Organica, Dec 02, 2008
Here's a new one (or is it? - I haven't seen it on any posts)... sneezing. And sneezing again.  Sneezing till your sternum feels like it has come adrift.
I did some research and found out that sneezing is one of the symproms of Dilaudid withdrawal.  I've never heard of Dilaudid before but apparantly it is a really really potent opoid painkiller.
Isn't it amazing that Tramal, this supposedly non-opoid, non-addictive painkiller is so addictive and opoid? - with a few more random bits for good measure???  
At least with sneezing it just looks like an allergy.  The tremours are a little more difficult to explain away :-)

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by emergee, Dec 02, 2008
is nutrasweet really really bad?  i've heard that of course but ignored it.  i have a serious snapple habit.   i feel so poisoned that now i am wondering if i need to get on that one too.   do any of you have any information about it.  wikipedia defends it.  

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by Organica, Dec 03, 2008
Emergee, I really don't know a lot about them, as I just don't use them.  But in terms of giving things up, I would say, one thing at a time.  Don't make things too difficult!  
As to being contraindicated during detox, hopefully someone else will know more.

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by EmilyPost, Dec 03, 2008
Sneezing is super crazy common. Crazy sneezing. Ridiculous over the top circus freak sneezing. Yeppers! Tremors. Yep. Walked into any walls yet? That was fun. Losing balance ... yep. So annoying. But a darn good ign cause it meant I was going thru withdrawal whihc meat soon enough I wouldn't be on Tramadol anymore.

Sweet emergee, I am with Sue here ... one thing at a time. Relax, breathe, one thing at a time.

I remember really clearly this moment of .. clarity. I thought, "I'm not going to take this Tramadol again. Never. No matter what, I'm not taking it."  

I knew it was out to kill me ...

Love and healing,
Emily


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by FinallyFred, Dec 03, 2008
I selected my screen name because I know that it is impairative that FINALLY find my self again, free of addiction to tramadol.  Only when I prevail in this fight,  will I be FINALLY FRED again.  

I am full of questions tonight and a desire to get off this stuff, but I don't have a a long string of successes to share as yet.  I am appreciating hearing your stories and they are encouraging me in this WAR.  After  averaging 8 - 50 mg pills/day for six years, and feeling like I was needing more and more to get through the day, I have force tapered such that I have averaged just two/day over the past six days and today, I haven't had ANY in the last 24 hours so I am on to day two of  first attempt to cold turkey this dreadful drug that has gripped me for over six years.  My only saving grace is that we had the four day weekend for Thanksgiving and I am off this week on vacation, so I can deal with the no sleep thing if I must.  

How long must we endure the daily aches, pains, sleeplessness, indigestion, loose bowls, pins and needles in our legs and feet, before we can feel like we have come through the tunnel?  How many days?  Can anyone tell me?  This is a WAR I am able to fight only one moment at a time.  But how long will the war go on before i am able to talk about the above symnptoms in the past tense.  

Emily's discussion of recovery not being linear is a little frightening to me at the moment.  You would think that every day get's progressively better than the day before, but  if that isn't so, could someone at least tell how long the sleeplessness and pins and needles in the feet goes on after one stops taking ANY of the drug?  How many days of cold turkey will it take for these symptoms to go away.  From you "experienced' kickers, are you saying these symptoms will reappear a month from now?  A year from now?  And if the pain that we originally took this drug for persists, are we doomed to a life on NSAIDs.  I  fight but this is difficult.  Mothers don't let your kids grow up to take tramadol, even when the good doctor prescribes it for you.  

MATT, I feel your pain man.  There is no question but that I once felt the theraputic affects of tramadol like you have (pain free most of the time, lots of energy, and motivation because we were without pain)  but the drug "turned on me" too when I would be forced to drastically taper at the end of every month.  Fortunately, I telecommute and have been known to nap at lunch when I am running low on tramadol.  I am not sure if we are supposed to share advice, but Matt, if you are considering going cold turkey while at your in laws for 5 days, I wouldn't do it without telling them about your plan.  Your recovery WILL BE your vacation.  Clearly, you will be up and down all night long and I would guess a bite disruptive to the household.  Having said that, that would be a nice time to detox without having to show up at work the next morning.  

People will ask, what you did on your vacation.  It surely won't include pictures of Micky Mouse or the Rocky Mountains, but I am hoping that this "vacation" week for me, may just be the most important week off I have had in a long while.  

I have got to inquire, am I the only one who went through forced painful withdrawal EVERY perscription cycle?  Because the prescribed amount was doing less and less for me, I used more than my "prescribed daily dosage" early on in the cycle, leaving me precious few for the last several days?  I'd like to hear from someone else who put up with this bull **** and the regular painful withdrawal symptoms EVERY month.  (there Emily, I did my own edit! :)  For me, getting off that elevator of pain, sleeplessness, and flue like symptoms MONTH AFTER MONTH is going to be worth it, even if for no other reason.  Matt,  I know that tapering as you have is difficult.  Progress not perfection my friend.  If you take a step back one day, don't beat yourself up over it.  I sense that like me, you have made  beating this the most important thing in your life right now.  Nobody who has been in the clutches of tramadol would wish you anything but wellness, peace and success, how ever that happens for you.  Hang in there.  I TOTALLY feel your pain.

Tonight I have already taken one bath and soaked my feet on another occassion to ease the foot pain.  Is there nothing that can be prescribed to help us withdraw from this addictive insidious drug?  As evidenced by the late hour right now, I have been unable sleep.  Exactly when does the peace come?  When can we declare the war to be over?  I have no desire to take more tramadol, but the withdrawal is DREADFUL.  I totally sympathize with those who give in and take this drug tonight so they can experience blessed sleep.  But for me, tonight, right now, I am choosing to stand and fight.  

More questions:  When our good doctors recommend tappering off this drug, do they actually know what they are asking?  Do they know how painful the withdrawal symptoms are, even in reducing our dose, sway from 8 to say, 6 pills/day?  Emily, you have indicated that in fact doctors do know about this medication, but can you explain how it is that you know that they know?  Like so many others, the doctor who originally prescribed this for me told that this was not a narcotic and he sure didn't explain what withdrawal would be like.  And Emily, if you are sure most doctors who perscribe this know all these things, why would they prescribe it?  I have never been addicted to other prescribed medication, but how does kicking this compare to kicking other prescribed drugs?  I can't imagine anything being any worse.

And don't you love it when a doctor gives you idle trite advise like, "be careful", "these could be addictive".  No **** doc!

From the postings I have read, I would judge that most of us are caring, hard working, highly motivated, professional folks, who came by this  addiction honestly.  And if we who have stumbled upon this site are finding some hope, some guidance, and some encouragement, what is available to those who those who continue to suffer in silence?  

I am sure that a tramadol user will read this post one day and like many of us, will deny that he/she is addicted to tramadol.  To that person, I would Take none in the morning, none during the day, none at night and none until you wake up the next day.  If you had a pleasant sleep and felt none of the withdrawal symptoms you have read in these postings that others of us have experienced, I guess you don't have a problem.  Lucky guy/girl.  Still, I suggest you test this every few months, because my guess is that if you keep taking this evil drug long enough, you will find that you need more and more of it to put you in that lovely theraputic state we all once enjoyed.  AND IF YOU WEREN'T ABLE TO SLEEP  THAT NIGHT AND YOU FEEL LIKE **** THE NEXT DAY,  come back and visit this site again.

Hoping to one day be FINALLY FRED again, but tonight it's war.  

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by FinallyFred, Dec 03, 2008
Day 2...cold turkey.  Hello all.  I made it through the night again without resorting to terrible T.  I cannot stresss strongly enough, how important that I think it is that anyone considering stopping this drug plan their assault around an extended time away from work or a week or more of  vacation.  I slept only a few hours last night but plan to pick up some of the
HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS in my travels today.  I am not expec ting things to be any easier ove rthe next few days, but I can't even begin to think about tomorrow...only today.  

Thanks to all who have posted to this site.  And Emily, thank you for hosting this long after you wer eable to kick this addiction yourself.  You are helping the rest of us newbes emensly.

Hoping to once again become FINALLY FRED starting in this precious moment I have been given in the present.

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by J435, Dec 03, 2008
I was prescribed Tramadol back pain, 37.5mg tabs up to 4xday.  I found that I got better relief when I took 2 at a time (75mg) which is what I have been doing.  I have been on them for a couple months now and am scared because I know that when I don't take them I just feel like hell.  I get this headache and achiness in my neck and back.  I feel sluggish and no energy.  I am so sensitive to hot and cold....one second I'll be freezing and the next I'm sweating.  It's terrible, I just can't function with out them.  I have more pills and another refill of 120 tabs to pick up this week but I am really battling whether I should take them or quit.  I'd rather wean off them slowly....but the withdrawl symptoms are so bad I don't know how I will function.  I am a mother with a full time job, and can't afford to take time off work to detox.  It almost seems easier to just keep taking them but I know that's not the right choice.  They just make me feel so much better, it's like an instant mood lifter and all the pain and discomfort just melts away. Not to mention that I have all the energy in the world when I take them and feel like I can accomplish anything.  I also have lost weight because they supress my appetite so much that I usually don't even care to eat much.  I know all of you have battled this drug and I am reading all your posts thinking..."I need to quit this".  I know thats what needs to happen but why is it so hard?  This just seems like such an evil little pill....and when you have an md telling you that you should take them its so much harder to quit.  I almost with the md would just take me off them so I wouldn't have a choice.  I am so scared!

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by FinallyFred, Dec 03, 2008
Hello J435, Be gentle with yourself.  There aren't any good guys/girls and bad guys/girls here, only people who want to be rid of the T.

I was reading Emily's jounal entries this afternoon and came upon her comment on about day 16, in which she noted, " You wouldn't believe the amount of Tramadol the Internet offers you when you type in "Tramadol withdrawal support." It's pretty amazing."  

If the trtuh were told, when I was seeking help for withdrawing from T, I too came upon those nasty ads.  What's more, as much as i wanted to stop a week or so ago, I was scared to death of not being able to make it through, so I rationalized thta i would order a 180 pill supply, "simply as a back up plan".  It's rather funny to me now, but when I was making my order, (and I have only gotten T through my doc in the past) I filled out of of my credit card and order information  EXCEPT THE CREDIT CARD ACCOUNT #.  By the time I had found this site, I thought I had just ordered a motherload of "back up" drugs, just in case, and I wasn't particularly proud of or happy with what I had just done.  The point I suppose is that this isa a very fragile success that any of us may accomplish in our personal WAR on this drug. I would NEVER pretend to tell someone else what they should or should not do for themselves.  However, I am well versed on what it's like to be on tramadol, to find that it takes an ever increasing amount of the drug to attain "theraputic levels", how terrible it is to drop below what that level is for you and the accompanying withdrawal we experience, even when we try to reduce (and not cut out entirely) this drug.  

I an finding that there were a greata deal of things that I glossed over during my firts read of this site that i need to go back and reread.  Emily's journal has lot's of practical advice too taht i need to read carefully.

I did paick up the Hylands Restful Legs today and I will get some immodium IB and vitimins tomorrow.  

I can also see the wisdome in starting my own journaling, which I plan to start later tonight.

FINALLY FRED


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by Organica, Dec 03, 2008
J435.. it is seductive, isn't it? But honestly, it doesn't last, that wonderful "I can do anything" feeling. If you are unable to just stop, a slow taper really is very achievable.  I have gone from over 200 daily to less than 50 and, while it wasn't wonderful, the sense of achievement, of beating this thing, is actually significantly more tangible than the 'high' of Tramadol - one is false, the other very real and empowering.  I know that very soon I'll be Tramal-free.

FinallyFred - go for it! Great to read your posts :-)

Peace and strength to us all,
Sue

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by emergee, Dec 03, 2008
fred,  i just sent you a note.  for some reason i missed that people were posting here.  i see you are duking it out.  great.  i kept reading and reading emilypost.   last night i read for hours.   it truly helps and when you get into that stuporous state in the 3rd and 4th day , it's a great thing to do.  especially as you aren't good for doing much else anyway.   i watched entourage.   i loved it , totally into it.   but something about the toxicity of this experience wafted over onto the tv set.   i hate entourage now because it got tramadol on it.
okay,  so i am ending my 7th day.  yesterday s u c k e d.   this morning i had a meltdown .   raging and crying.  well, my computer broke.  and i had to spend hours with TECH SUPPORT.   and the first tech guy pissed me off so much he hung up on me.  effing control freak.  ( you have to leave some room for insanity in this period)  he i am sure could feel the anger seeping out of my voice even though i was trying real hard not to let it.
but THEN,  i felt better.  i felt almost normal.  like i wasn't even really suffering.  i went out for coffee and read the paper in public and walked for 30 minutes.   so that's possible real soon for you, to feel almost okay.    it is random though.   you never know when it's going to come back and hit you.
oh, and i think tyrosine is essential.  one of the top three things.  i bought everything and take everything but tyrosine is very obvious in its benefit.   restful legs and tyrosine.  
emergee

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by FinallyFred, Dec 04, 2008
I apoligize in advance for all my rantings/postings recently.  Beating this addiction has, for me, become all consuming at the moment.  It is all I can think of, it is all I want to read about and it is all I want to write about right now.  

emergee asked me tonight how much "time" I had.  What I SHOULD have told "e" is "not enough" or maybe "just barely a glimpsing, grasping, I'm trying anything now" response.  Technically, it's still the evening of my second day of going cold turkey.  And I must say, the five days before I stopped entirely,those days when i tapered from 8+/day to 1-2 pills/day hurt worse than the last two of COLD TURKEY.  I am about as patient as I am addictable. (is that a word?)  The wierd thing is that I have those sweet little white pills in my "drawer" right now and while the physical symptoms are still kicking my ars, I can chose to not take the,m.  And it's actually already becoming less awful.

Kicking this evil addictive drug has become all consuming to me, just as making certain that I had a righteous supply of my DOC (drug of choice) had become all consuming these past six years.  My wife sees me at this computer for hours on end and I don't think she "get's my obsession with getting off this T.  Then in the evening after she goes to bed, I read and reread the postings you have made previously again.  You all have become as a "higher power' to me.  Mercifully, I planned my withdrawal to coincide with a week off work, so this is my "tramadol vacation", you see!

And why not have a little levity on a subject that is otherwise, so dreadfully serious.  It's no big deal...it's just a matter of life or death.  

I had to chuckle upon reading a post from last week by someone which read, "I've been up until 5 in the morning every night because of the restless legs symptoms, but other than that I feel fantastic!"  Other than "that', Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?  But sadly, I DO know EXACTLY what that person was going through.  

I want to address what I think may be a misconception of some first time guests to this site, and frankly, a feeling that I had when I first visted you all.  To wit, how can these people make postings of success, when there must surely be more people like myself, who feel so defeated over this addiction?

Fair enough.  

As Emily once noted, the people who log on (like me seven days ago), who are genuinely  looking for help, but who are finding it impossible to take that first step, sadly don't post.  I know I visited here more than once  without posting and I thought you were all hypocrites or do gooders or liars at first glance.  But as I ventured back to this site again and again, is search of a hope to take a first step, what I found was a bunch of sick puppies - just like myself.   We are seeking to do battle with  this terrible subtile, sneaky how it get's you, DENIAL wrought  disease.  You all just happened to be a day or a week, or a month or six months ahead of me in the fight.  And hopefully, our postings will give the strength for other poor puppies like myself, to do battle with this drug once and for all.

The notion that my first TINY steps toward recovery could be something I am proud of, is laughable.  Are there any sports fans out there?

Hello Sports fans, welcome to the big show.   Tonight we find FRED, once again  waging battle against TEAM TRAMADOL.  The two have matched up previously TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND NINTY SEVEN TIMES.  And the score leading into tonights contest stands at:   ...TEAM TRAMADOL 2,190.  and TEAM FRED 7.  

I have seen some sports franchises with some terrible win/loss records.  The Washinton Huskies, for example, here in Seattle, this year  are a dismal 0-11 this season.    Go Dawgs!  :(   But I can't recall EVER recall seeing a team with a win/loss record as dismal as my own.   7 wins and 2,190. losses.

Yup, that's how proud I am of myself.  I have succeeded EXACTLY  seven times in the past 2,197 days in my fight with this terrible drug.  WHOPPY!!!  So please don't anyone reading this think I have overcome anything.  I just got tired of being dependant on something more powerful than myself.  Tired of waking up each day, telling myself that THAT day would be different FROM ALL THAT HAD BEEN BEFORE, only to require more and more tramadol to achieve what I felt was a "necessary" pain free existance i REQUIRED in order to lead  a productive work and home life.  So i get that, "I can't afford to go off tramadol" reasoning.  I said that 2,190/2,197 days in the past myself.  

Heck, after dinner, I had so much energy on T and I felt so good that I would be known to go outside in the dark and plant bulbs in the garden.  Or I would log on to my work computer in the evening and work productively until the wee hours of the morning.  I HAD TRAMADOL POWER.  So make no mistake, the drug made us feel very very good. That is, until we required more and more of it to work it's magic...until it turned on me and actually caused pains in places I didn't even know could hurt.  Here's the really crazy thing.  As I am coming off this, my hips (original complaint six years ago) don't even hurt any more.  

So we come to the point where we are trapped rats.  Trapped by a doctor who doesn't fully understand that the same amount of this drug will not continue to produce the well being that it did in the beginning.  HINT:  M.D.s won't typically prescribe more than 400 mg/day. if I had really gone to "non traditional" online methods of attaining this drug, I am unsure what might have happened to me.  I would probably stil bne spending lots of $$$ on way too many pills/day just to feel "NOT unwell".  

It's odd that I was never able to apply what I know from other 12 step programs to beat this disease. Once again, I didn't have a problem, OK?  These were harmless, non-opiate and SUCH pretty SMALL white pills, harmless by the hand full, it seemed.  I am certain that i have been in denial and have comparmentalized this addiction for a long time.  

Question:  How many of us shared with our siblings, cousins, parents, or even children that we tatke T?  I for one did not.


So where are we at?  We have denial and we have guilt and we have hiding behavior.  This isn't sounding too alright to me by this point.  Houston, we have a problem.  

I don't know why anyone else stopped, but for me, it came down to this, did I want to constantly face withdrawal symptoms EVERY month at the end of my "allottment", when I had consumed well more than my daily dosage  on the front end of a "cycle", so that I was sweating, aching, tingling everywhere ONE WEEK out of every month, or did I want to make my best effort to do WAR this time and be done with this?  

You all have provided such loving advice for someone like me.  Today I picked up and am using some Hylands Restful Legs, B-12 and Imodium AB.  Thanks to all for the advice, it does help.

In closing, I have a pretty darned dismal record of defeating TEAM TRAMADOL.  It isn't pretty where I sit.  The score the past 2,197 days stands at 7 days of wins and 2,190 days of losses.  Certainly nothing to be proud of.

But for some crazy reason, about a week ago, I admitted I was powerless over Tramadol and I conceeded that my life and my constant cyles of failures had become (for me) unmanageable.  And after visiting this site several times (and at first thinking you were all a bunch of pollyannas), I came to see your small successes as a sort of power greater than myself.  It hasn't been easy and it hasn't been fun, but WITH YOUR HELP and example, I am determined to beat this terribly, addictive, largely unregulated,  over-prescribed, seldom understood, terrifying to quit drug that has been part of my life for over six years.   7 - 2,190 isn't a pretty record, but guess what?   I am determined that tomorrow that win loss record will read:

FINALLY FRED 8, TEAM TRAMADOL 2,190.  And that my friends, is worth living another day to see.  


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by EmilyPost, Dec 04, 2008
Finally Fred ... I so heart U! :D

I told my husband and my Momther (who no doubt told the rest of my Family) ... I did not tell anyone where I work.

I'm smiling about your first perception of us as do-gooders, liars ect ... One message in the very beginning was a message that accused me of being the same person, writing posts back and forth to myself! !!!!! This was in early early withdrawal from me and the thought that I would be able to do such a thing was both amusing and confusing and made me mad, but was hilarious.

I LOVE a good rant. As you can probably tell!

I think it is important for me to post when I can not to rub my "non-tramadol-ness" in people's face, but hopefully to give them an idea that it really can be done. It's very easy when you are hooked, lined and sinkered on Tramadol to dismiss this entire really long ranty journal. Excpet for the fact that it is true. You can read teh desperation and fear and you can also read the triumph and fight of the human spirit against an enemy aka Tramadol; the life sucker demon pill. Truth gets under the skin.

But hopefully, it gets under the skin. Because there's no one stopping people from taking this drug. It's really the candy of chronic pain.

How do I know that the MD's know Tramadol is a bad drug? There's many studies mixed in the journal. These were studies I could find as a layman. They have access to much more information, so of which is posted. The fact that I could discover it was causing neuropathy in cases where the person used the Tramadol for over a year, is scary and ultimately ridiculously wrong.

The thing is no MD can get into any trouble for handing out Tramadol in case of persistent pain. But they can for opiates, muscle relaxants and so on. You do not need to search far to find cases of MD's who are having the DEA invade their clinics because they are accused of over prescribing pain medications (most of which work and most of which are less horrifying to quit than Tramadol.) ... I do not blame them for not wanting to risk taking on long term pain patients. BUT in my case; Tramadol increased and even CAUSED my pain.

It's a viscous circle.

But we can all help each other!!

Love and healing,
Emily


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by newbie6, Dec 04, 2008
Hello All,

I am currently planning my "tramadol vacation" as Fred so wittingly put, and trying to stock up on things I am going to need to get off this drug while not feeling completely horrible.  From what I have read, some things that help and that I have ordered are Clonidine, Kratom Powder, Hylands Resftul Legs, and Immodium. I also have Wellbutrin which is an anti-depressant which I hope will ease some of the withdrawel symptoms.  I also have a supply of Hydrocodone just in case it gets really bad.  My concern is this:  When I stop taking tramadol and start the withdrawal process, then start covering it up with other drugs to feel better, will it all come back when I try to get off the cover-up drugs?  I don't anticipate getting addicted to Clonodine, Kratom, or Hydrocodone after using them for only a week or so, but I really don't know.  I don't want to have a week of hell, covered up sporadically by other drugs, and then when I stop the other drugs I don't want to have another week of hell without the cover up drugs.  Does anyone have experience with this?  Did anyone else try to cover up the symptoms with any other drugs?  I just want to make sure it is not a huge mistake, but I can't afford to feel horrible for 7 days or more, I just can't, so I am trying to think of my contingency plan in case it gets really bad.

I am back to feeling normal again after 2 days of hell from my attempt at a taper.  I had to stop the taper because I can't be like that at work.  At this moment I have the "theraputic" feeling Tramadol gives me, and it is great, but I don't need it.  I can't even remember how it feels to not be on it, if I felt better or worse. I find myself looking at others who I assume aren't on Tramadol and thinking, "they sure look happy and at ease with life, they are so lucky to not have this horrible addiction."  I remember that I actually liked to do things before - golf, play tennis, excercise, none of which I do anymore.  I can't even imagine having that energy and desire to do those things again, I just want to lay down and relax all the time.

Ok, I will stop with my rambling, you are all right, it does help a ton to do this, and to read other's experiences.  I am interested in your story Fred because you were similar to my dosages (even though I have been on it for only a year) and you will probably just be finishing the process when I am beginning it on Dec. 23.  Please don't apologize for posting, it is helpful, especially for me because I will be doing it very soon.  Keep posting every day if you can, describing what it feels like, what helps, and what to plan on.  Especially when you go back to work next week, I want to know how you perform without it, etc.

Thanks everyone for their support,

Matt

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by FinallyFred, Dec 04, 2008
Indeed, it's a new dawn.  And the score, tadah, FINALLY FRED 8, TEAM TRADADOL, still ONLY at 2,190.  A sadly unproud  pathetic win loss record, but I seek progress not perfection.  I am more determined today to beat this than when I began 8 days ago with my fake "tapering" I hve talked about.  I call it my "fake" tapering, because, while it was in fact a tapering, it was mercilessly WAY DRASTIC.  In fact, the drastic taper I began 8 days ago, was far more painful than what I have experienced in my now 3 days of cold turkey stoppage of this bad boy more recently.  Which leads me to conclude that the pain of withdrawal has more to do with the NET quantum of one's reduction, than it does with whether you have any of this bad boy left in your system or not.  

Matt,  You have a great attitude and desire to quit.  Stay focused on the prize.  I admire your preperation for the planned "work stoppage" later this month on 12/23.   ha ha ha.  I for one, see nothing wrong with anyone else giving their decison the utmost thought before launching a full frontal attack on this beast.  I see nothing wrong with doing WHAT EVER IT TAKES to kick this, whatever it takes for YOU IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.  

I was thinking of you Matt, when I read in a post somewhere back a ways, that they didn't mind actually FEELING like S**t during withdrawal BECAUSE that pain was a constant reminder of the distance they WERE putting between them and tramadol.   I am not sure there IS an EASY way out of this problem.  IF THERE WAS an easy way, I'd be first in line, I'll tell you what.  

My mother in law has a saying that I generally have felt to be bogus and meaningless, and trite.  But it just might apply to our battle here.  That saying is this, "some times the easy way is the hard way and the hard way is the easy way.".  I can't tell you how many times I have  LOL after hearing my mother in law spout such nonense.  But she just may have a point which is germaine to our fight 4 kicking this nasty drug.

The agony is lessening for me, my friend, agonizing moment by agonizing moment, it is getting better.  I am using all the remideis everyone has posted and they do help.  I am emensely grateful to all who have posted.  And I continue to read and re-read all I can get my eyeballs on.  Today, the way seems brighter than it did yesterday.  I know that you know what must be done.  Whenever that might happen for you.  I am NOT so sure you will be a good house guest this year Matt.  Maybe THIS YEAR they don't expect you to be marvelously funny, and charming and HELPFUL.  Maybe this year, they would recognize that your primary goal for the week long visit is to detox?  Maybe this year, you will need to decide whether it is more important to be the charming son in law that I am sure you are, or whether the week in time must be used for a higher purpose.  

There isn't a pretty way to candy coat this.  Withdrawal will be hell.  You will be disruptive all night long as you the lovely BK mom in law prepares.  They will worry and wonder about you.  You'll be curled up on a couch in agony and you will run to and fro to the bathroom.  Sadly, i just am unsure there is any easier way to do this and quite possibly, no higher calling for the use of your time away from work.  If someone has a better answer, please let me know and i will be all over it.

None of us is an expert here.  I can only share my own experience, strength and hope.  

Now you bring up a very valid question, just how will I do when i return to work on Monday?   The fact is, I am scared to death about finding out.  My guess is that if my job were folding seweaters at Macy's, I might fair better than in my own job, which seems to require concentration, focus, decision making abilities.  All things that will no doubt be more difficult without the wonderful aid of tramadol.  I know I am not out of the woods here.  And that scares me quite a bit.  Still, I must take hope in putting another moment, just now, between my addiction and being able to do the next right thing.  

I am about to test out how this boy might actually function doing something besides reading and crying and blogging, and BEING.  I told my mom I would help her do some "sonny do" chores around her house today.  And while I am on vacation this week, I actually do have work to do on some files before I REALLY go back to work next Monday for real.  I'll keep posting.

Read my story about Ivan in my journal entry today.  

COURAGE and strength my friends.  

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by emergee, Dec 04, 2008
fred, matt, emily and all,  
    I am so relieved that others are keeping this place alive.   i had actually had the ridiculous notion that i was done.  i was okay enough to resume life and i didn't need to be glued to the computer reading this thread every second.   this is day 8.   i thought this morning that i wasn't suffering.  ha.  when i try to function then it hits.  weird,  just weird.  i can't even describe it and i don't know if the strange non-functioning of the brain then makes me anxious or whether the psychological aspects of the drug are now hitting me.  i just read an old post of emily's that i hadn't seen before ( my apple computer is down and i am back on this dinosaur thing i had- but the good thing about that is that somehow it found all sorts of old T posts that i had never seen)  and she said something like ,  " i feel frightened and alone".   exactly.  I AM SCARED.  and she(you) have a nice husband!   i haven't seen anyone but strangers in the street for 8 days. i think i am going to have to cancel a social thing for saturday ( 2 days from now) because what if i feel like this that day?   i could not function in public.  the apple computer tech help guy is supposed to call  and i am anxious about that!  is this like a withdrawal thing?  is this a seratonin thing?  
   here are some quotes i pulled off:

Once the fog rolls in, my mind and body begins to move with all the speed and grace of a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

oh well, the other ones didn't make it.  one was from scott fitzgerald ,  so good. i'll find it and post later.  

thank GOD this forum is here.  thank god for you fred for doing long and rambling posts ,  i love it.  
emergee
.


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by emergee, Dec 04, 2008
"I feel so alive.. ..Speaking with my adult children WOW I will never trade what I hear in their voice today compared to what I heard while on drugs.. Tears fill my eyes as I write for the appreciation I feel that they loved me enough to remember who I was before this last round with drugs.. My husband is having a little harder of a time as I'm not so easy to comply as I was on drugs with money and opinions :) Although I know he is happier having a partner back who cares enough to argue the point.. The love I feel inside is overwhelming drugs have never bought tears to my eyes of happiness... "


this is a quote i pulled off an old thread.  i am sorry i don't have her name .i think it is an amazing statement of what is possible and also what a weird thing we did to ourselves taking this drug.  

" in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning"  f. scott fitzgerald

i had read this before,  but when i read it on emilypost at 4 in the morning,  i really understood it.   and it was hilarious.    

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by madtram, Dec 04, 2008
Dear Emily & fellow fighters of the good fight, I wanted to post this update just in case anyone else has this experience & it's also turned out to be a good news story.  Firstly tho, Em, I want to add my appreciation of your true talent for expression. You have a future as a writer, should you so desire.  Your idea of "organic change" really summed it up for me & I believe is also biologically true for many of us long term tram users.

Just a short digression on the "how long" question.  Everyone's biochemistry is unique &  I don't want to minimise the withdrawal experience of anyone with shorter periods of use.  However, the longer the drug is used, the deeper the altered brain circuits are rewired.   Thankfully, the brain is plastic & new circuits will replace the drug powered old ones but you have to allow enough time for these changes to become locked in.

It is now more than four months since my last pill, after fiveish years of daily tramadol intake.  I had a fairly standard withdrawal for the first six weeks or so, then got dealt what felt like a knock-out blow - sudden, bed-ridden chronic fatigue complete with all the symptoms of extremely low blood pressure, (couldn't stand without fainting, when I had never fainted in my life before); extremely disrupted sleep; couldn't walk to the end of the drive when a month ago, I ran 10kms daily.

The diagnosis of several doctors was post-viral fatigue, (it's true that I while I was on the tramadol I had a bad virus & was still showing viral antibodies).  However, I am more inclined to blame the tramadol.   One of the tests they administer for chronic fatigue is a sleep test where they measure your sleep waves. To be healthy, you need to have enough delta wave sleep which is when all the good healing & cell maintenance takes place.  People with CF, (as did I for this period), have minimal or disrupted delta wave sleep & feature alpha waves instead. Alpha waves are present in relaxed states; day dreaming listening to music etc & have a positive role in wellbeing but are not enough on their own.

Studies have shown that completely healthy people will develop full blown chronic fatigue symptoms if their sleep is disrupted to remove delta wave sleep.  The point being that for some of us, the sleep disruption caused by tramadol withdrawal will cause the extreme fatigue symptoms & in my case turned into a syndrome.

Now the good news, one night I went to bed & fell asleep within half an hour instead of six hours to never.  Since then I have been sleeping close to normally & no surprise getting my life back.  I am still so grateful for this every day & I am going to work at retaining this gratitude as it's so easy to just reset your expectations back to pre-illness levels when in the depths, I would have been so happy to have a few functional hours a day.  I have so much sympathy for people with long term CF; it tested my sanity to the absolute max.

Hopefully, no-one else will have this experience but for those in the "wiped out" phase, know that it will end, even if not to your preferred schedule & when it does, don't forget to celebrate every tiny weeny achievement for a bit.

Best to all,
Michelle

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by Organica, Dec 04, 2008
Madtram.. I have had CFS, fibromyalgia and a couple of autoimmune diseases for many many years. The Tramal was prescribed for the fibromyalgia, which was getting way out of control.  So the sleeplessness that comes with the withdrawal just really exacerbates the withdrawal, which is why I choose the slow taper option.

The sleeplessness is really difficult, isn't it?  I am finding that, on Tramal, I was developing a real self-loathing.. it was quite dreadful and felt very very real.  Now I am down to under 5 daily, I can feel myself rise up and be OK about myself - not just OK, but a sense of my inherent talents and ability.. SUCH a breakthrough!  But the d**n sleeplessness - that is the tricky one.

I'm taking whatever I can get my hands on to sleep, now - I am very unused to such things so it doesn't take much - 1/4 valium knocks me for ages.  I was being very precious with the 'no drugs' thing, but the Tramal issue is the one I am going to beat, whatever it takes.

Despite the pain, the agitation (mine is not so much restless legs as restless upper-body with heart palpatations and mini panic attacks), it feels very very very good to feel the old me... probably even a better me for the strength and will we all gain from this process.

Thank you for all your insights... they are blessings.

Sue

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by emergee, Dec 04, 2008
michele,
   that was very very helpful.  thank you.
emergee

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by Organica, Dec 05, 2008
Whoops... I said I was down to 5 daily, which is really wrong... I am down to under 50mg daily - today 25mg.  I know it isn't much, but it feels quite huge to me!


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by FinallyFred, Dec 05, 2008
In the BEGINNING:

emergee, madtram,  Organica and you all,  Your words tonight breathed encouragement into me.   I hang on them and it matters.  Michelle, special thanks to you for the encouragement to celebrate the teeny weeny victories.  It's too easy to look ahead.

This morning marks the beginning of my 4th day without any tramadol.  I have come to believe that it is the change of quantum (amount we ingest)  in tramadol that gives us the withdrawal symptoms and not entirely whether we are zeroed out yet or not.  I know I felt far worse going from 8-10 pills a day down to 1-2 pills a day (my grand idea of a tapered plan!)  THAN i ever felt going from 1-2 pills/day to ZERO a few days ago.  Imagine if i had tapered properly.  

Congratulations to you, Organica,  you are doing it right. By the time you take your last pill WHENEVER THAT IS, you will already have been through the wost of it I think.   I  wish I had that kind of patience, but I know I don't.  And don't let my wild and crazy ways of kicking this thing pull anyone else from another more well reasoned plan of attack.  

And my hat is off to guys like you, Matt, who know what they need to do and are planning a course to do it.  Be strong and of courage.

I thought I was the only person on the planet with such a problem with this freely dispensed non-scheduled RX.   You guys showed me that I was not alone you each inspire and educate me  in ways you'll never know.  And dear Emily, thank you for leading us to you so we could find help for this terrible nasty addiction to the pills we thought were non-narcotic candy pain pills.   For  just as in the story of Hansil and Gretill, you spread the  bread crums on the internet machine so we would know where we could find you.  SERIOUS SOB SOB FROM THIS GUY.  

So keep sharing YOUR experience strength and hope.  Maybe one day, I will help someone else, as you have helped me.  You are all the angles of mercy to me.  

Shifting gears, I was feeling pretty grogged out yesterday evening about six hours ago or so,  I had a fairly active afternoon yesterday trying my hand at some light yard work and running some errands.  After supper, I felt like my butt was falling off.  Extreme chills, fevers, and achy flu like symptoms - suprised me actually because I slept WELL last night and felt good this a.m.   Glad I had been warned that this isn't necessarily a linear progression recovery plan we signed up for.  

I took a long  HOT bath, some B-12, Immodium AB and some NSAIDS I had laying around and I am actually feeling well again now after reading some posts and seeing a little time elapse.  Emily said it would work this way sometimes and thank goodness for people who stick around so the rest of us newcomers have an example.   Emily, you will forever be my angel for showing me a way out of this dreadful addiction.  Lesser humans than you would recover, take the check and go on to the next new thing in life.   Thanks for hanging for those of us who follow.  And like I said yesterday, thank you for knowing how to wire all those tubes in the computer machine  and for knowing how to lead us to you.  Cause just like in the story of Hansil and Gretill, you spread bread crums in the Internet machine so we would know where to find you.  

Promise now not to  breathe a word about all my HOT baths of late, or people will think I have turned into a girleee man with my bathes that are hot, the covering up in the blankets, and the packing of the body with ice and the heat.   Humpth, I say whatever works.  

Iv'e also been thinking tonight about the difference between (1) facing uncertain withdrawal symptoms in the future, vs. (2) "relapsing", which I mean putting tramadol into our bodies again .  I think I worry more about (1), the ongoing uncertain withdrawal symptoms that will be coming my way than I  do about relapsing or ever using again.  Here's why that is so for me:

I am no big strong tramadol giant killer.  I get that recovery is fragile.  Yet, I know what I have gone through to get me to this place, right here tonight.  It's not easy and it isn't fun.  But having fought through a few little days without tramadol I WOULD NEED TO HAVE MY FREAKIN HEAD EXAMINED to permit myself to repeat what I have gone through these past few days EVER again.  So even in the HEAT of my withdrawal, I feel so much better than I did the last several years on the tramadol train.  

Nope, for too long, we have been controlled by a drug that takes more and more from us while giving us less and less in return.  It isn't a matter of IF we would eventually stop one day, but rather, HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST  before we would stop.  And DEATH clears the boards baby.  In that moment, all choice in the matter is gone.  This was a haunting thought I had many times in the past - that i would/could never get off the trramadol train, until death do us part.    

If I am arrogent, I am arrogent ONLY  in thinking that I sorta would kinda like to control the HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST part of this tramadol experience on MY terms.  There are lots of good reasons for kicking this drug, but one of them has GOT to be to regain some control in one's life.  

So if you asked me right now whether I will relapse and willingly put tramadol back into my body ever again, I'd say,   "Holy Mother of God, I sure hope not".  It took me too long to begin.    And for this addict, beginning is what was difficult to bring myself to grips with.  

I suspect that there may be a certain "esteem" in achieving a given # of recovery days. However, I'll bet if we were to ask folks with far more "recovery" than my measly pesky piddily few little days of QUIT time, which day they felt  the most IMPORTANT DAY was, I'll bet you WOULDN'T  hear  the 3rd day or the 11th day or the 35th day or the 125th day or EVEN the five year mark being offered up as the most important.  Nope, I am pretty sure that if we asked the TRAMAMASTERS,  most would agree that the first day of recovery was the most IMPORTANT  day in their own recovery.  It is after all, the day that we all put off and avoided - it seemed like forever in my case.

Here's what else I have been thinking about tonight... while I would like to THINK that I won't relaspe and take this evil pill again, IT COULD HAPPEN.  And while I may have another relapse  left in me (which I am defining as putting tramadol back into my body again) the really scarry thing is that I REALLY am not sure that I will have another FIRST DAY OF RECOVERY LEFT IN ME if I relapsed again now.  THINK ABOUT IT!  

I must be the biggest cry baby on the  face of the planet.  Cus, ever since I typed the above line, I have been crying uncontrollably like a baby.  I am so grateful that MERCIFULLY, I was given a chance...at a first day.  The planets must have lined up perfectly for any of us to have been willing to come to the place, where we take that first baby step...to determine the time and place and cost of our taper or quit, to start the first day  in a life without tramadol.

WHAT SORT OF MIRACLE IS IT, WHERE someone like me, could go thousands of days on tramadol and continuously choose the drug, feel uterly defeated and then SUDDENLY one day realize that they have a choice?   HOW COOL WAS THAT?  How could I have gone from feeling UTTERLY helpless and out of control, to believing that I might actually have a chance to kick?   I'll tell you what, when that fleeting moment of clarity came into my pea brain and I realized that i didn't have to live like that another day on the tramadol roller coaster, I jumped.  (thus my "fake taper")  So I am crying like a baby tonight because unmerited favor and grace was bestowed on me, such that  I really GOT that moment of clarity.   I'm crying at the realization that the choice for HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST  I stop taking this terrible drug, has been placed into my hands to decide, one moment by one moment with the help of a higher power, which right now I am choosing to call YOU GUYS.  Pretty flipping miraculous I'd say.  Pretty flipping MIRACULOUS.  Cry your heart out GREAT flippin miraculous.  

Stay close.  

Courage and strength and compassion

Fred



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by Organica, Dec 05, 2008
Hey Fred... I had a little weep with you.
Oh, alright, a BIG weep.
The trigger for me, absolutely, was Emily's post. There is something really special about people from all over the place getting together to fight this.
Bless you all!
Sue

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by thethirdwiseman, Dec 05, 2008
I HAVE BEEN USING TRAMADOL FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS NOW AND I TELL YOU WHAT WITHDRAW FROM TRAMADOL ARE THE MOST TERRABLE THING I HAVE EVER INDURED. I HAD AN INCCEDENT THAT REQUIRED ME TO HAVE A SCRIP FOR PERACET FOR 6 MONTHS AND THE WITHDRAWAL FROM PERC IS NO WERE CLOSE TO TRAMADOL.
THE ONLY THING I HAVE FOUND THAT COVERS UP THE WITHDRAWALS OF TRAMADOL IS ACCAHOL. I KNOW THAT NOT A CURE BUT I THINK IT’S THE LESS OF TO EVILS. I BELIVE THAT AFTER THESE DOCTORS FIGURE OUT WHAT TRAMADOL REALLY DO THAT IT WILL BE CLASSIFIED WITH VICIDON AND PERC. EVERY ONE STAY STRONG AND JUST REMEMBER THAT THERE IS ALWAYS SOME ONE ELSE OUT THERE THAT HAS IT WORSE OFF THAN YOU DO


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by FinallyFred, Dec 05, 2008
Third Wise Man:  I read your recent post and TOTALLY agree - we are in all out WAR for our souls my friend.  I wouldn't venture to guess at how withdrawal from this compares to other "real" narcotic drugs.  But when you hear of people tapering off tradadol by using something like vic, perc, etc., it sort of makes one wonder.  WHAT is going on here?

I also totally understand wanting to cover the withdrawal with alcohol, but I have been there for myself and done that and I can't go back to that "cure' either.  The main point is that you and I are committted to making this thing work and whatever is working for you, let nobody talk you out of.  

Stay strong and of good courage.  Fred

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by emergee, Dec 05, 2008
this is an amazing thread, simply wondrous.  it really needs to not vanish. it is this PARTICULAR thread that got me to quit and this thread that i have found the most support.  
end of DAY 9.  it hasn't been such a bad day physically.  i am beginning to try to get some easy stuff done.  still no real brain power or decision making ability.  very emotional.  still pretty removed from the rest of the world but not bad,  not bad at all.  i feel like i am waking up slowly.
i wonder if i need to go to NA?  it sounds sort of grim but i am not ruling it out.   i have gotten into using stuff in my life but i always get out of it.  stop before it gets too destructive.  
did anyone have horrendous irritablity on tram?  i seem to be the only one that has mentioned that.  i also had a terrrible sensitivity to sound, to noise, and to music i didn't like.  i could tell when i needed a dose when i totally melted down over something.  god, it is good to be leaving that behind.  

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by EmilyPost, Dec 06, 2008
Hello Tramadol Warriors!

All of you. All of you. Hello dear ones :D

(((gentle hugs))) I am so proud of all of you. Going off the T, tapering the T ... It's all so good.. Thank you. Thank you. Even considering stopping ... thank you.

I don't actually feel any "esteem" in a number of days off of Tramadol. Maybe that is because I don't crave it. It never ever made me high. I don't remember it feeling good, I just remember it not feeling bad because I had forgotten to take a dose. Truly. Tramadol dependant. Physically dependant. Addicted. Yes. The Reluctant Addict. The Addict who is Addicted to the Pill You CANNOT get Addicted to. *rolls eyes*

*kicks Tramadol in the head!!!*

For me the most important day wasn't the first day that I did not take it. It was the day I looked in the drawer full of pills and thought, "This is crazy. I am going to die if I keep doing *this.* I'm going to stop. No matter what; this is insane and I'm not doing THIS any more."

So in a way, even though it was not the first day of me no longer having the Demon Drug, it was the first day for me. I really didn't realize (because I was living in the FOG by then) that the Tramadol was the problem. I really believed them when they told me that it was HELPING ME. Thus; the resultant BITTERNESS and ANGER (anger is justified and helpful, because it is the direct opposite of fear ... cultivate anger while fighting the good fight) at the drug itself and the system of medicine that disregards chronic pain patients, and sweeps them under the rug.

Do I have another first day of recovery from Tramadol left in me? No way. Not a chance.

I don't know why I was lucky like Fred and suddenly realized I had a choice. I certainly wasn't guided. I spent such a long time trying to find anyone out on the intrawebs on the computer machine (still laughing Fred!) to at least tell me the story of how they succeeded.

Fred you write, "Nope, for too long, we have been controlled by a drug that takes more and more from us while giving us less and less in return.  It isn't a matter of IF we would eventually stop one day, but rather, HOW, WHEN AND AT WHAT COST  before we would stop.  And DEATH clears the boards baby.  In that moment, all choice in the matter is gone.  This was a haunting thought I had many times in the past - that i would/could never get off the Tramadol train, until death do us part."

Yeah. I could pretty much picture what the inside lid of my coffin was going to look like. It was very scary. It was not part of my perfect plan. I didn't have a job that I could afford to take time off, I didn't have anyone to help me.

I remember very well on day 2 ... needing water. My DH was at work. I needed to get downstairs to get the water and I sat at the top of the stairs and after awhile I realized I was too weak to get down the stairs without falling ... and I crawled back to my bed. Crawled. And this is important. Like a baby. A toddler. But with way way way more pain. Too much pain to even scream or cry.

Crawled. Covered in dirty sweat, freezing inside, shaking, freaking out. The important thing to know about days 1-3 or 4 is that Tramadol is a mental head trip ... it will tell you YOU ARE GOING TO DIE unless you get more pills.  Personally I was at the point where I knew I HAD to stop. No matter what; I was NOT going to take more Tramadol. Which is amazing considering that when you search for recovery boards for Tramadol you get Internet offers to sell it to you ... FED EX ...

At the point I was at it was not even tempting. I knew I was going to die if I kept taking it. No matter which Doctor told me it was safe and blah blah blah ... I remember now, thinking ... "How could they know?" They seemed so crazy and weird if it came to other drugs, but Tramadol was jelly beans!! Perfectly happy to tell me to take more ...

Fred I'mma fight you on the crown for biggest cry baby ok? I mean, I have to wear waterproof mascara on my BEST days! (betting Cash Money you don't!!) But yes, the gratitude and the mystery that I suddenly KNEW that TRAMADOL was poisoning me and NOT helping me at all ... is profound. In my case, I had to have a suicide wake me the he-$$ up. If Kimmie hadn't thrown herself off a building in France would I have KNOWN? I kinda doubt it. It shook me to my core. So disturbing, and yet I knew I was on my way there. If I didn't quit; I was going to die. I see that now so clearly. When i was on it and doing the "run out of pills taper" I only saw it for a minute with complete CLARITY. But yes, I saw it. I knew it.

When I was writing all the early journal stuff ... I barely even remember it now. That is why it is there, to help me remember. To help other people. Even if I don't know them; I KNOW THEM.

We all know each other.

I know about the, "But I don't have the time ..." I know about the, "I can't just STOP." I know about the, "Oh my god I am out of pills and now what?" Yes I went into forced withdrawal many times. In my case always because I was in denial about NEEDING Them. Always in denial about the physical dependency.

For the last couple of weeks I have had the flu and now I have a bronchitis type condition. It's very common in the first year if recovery to have a crashing immune system. Infinite patience and calm acceptance. The 12 steps, what i know of them ...have served me well. This drug, this dependency or addiction, is bigger and stronger ... cunning, baffling ... it's a killer.

I realize that I have to give up, resist the struggle, and join the winning side.

The winning side doesn't always fight. Sometimes you lay down and rest. You get shelled and bombarded by the withdrawal? Take shelter.

This thread, these people, are your comfort, you shelter. They know what you are going thru. They can help. Let them.

Love and healing,
Emily





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by FinallyFred, Dec 06, 2008
Ahhh yes, the thread that binds...

Let's pretend I slept well and am just up early.  Sounds kinda nice hey?

Regrettably, I must go back to a VERY demanding full time job staritng on Monday.  But I have enjoyed the largess of time this week, learning from you and coming to care a great deal for each of your recoveries in the process.  It's funny how a few stories bind us together.  A few stories on the core of what I am about at this moment.  Getting well.  

Endulge my rants yet a few more times and then I my posts will become fewer and shorter.  Know this however, even when I am not posting as much this next week,  I am DETERMINED TO KEEP UP the FIGHT to KICK THIS DEVIL DRUG IN THE HEAD.  You see, this isn't an interest of mine I have "developed".  For me, it has become a matter of LIFE or DEATH.  And I am engagd in the fight of my lifetime.

You and I will probably never meet.  Each of our lives contain facets, backgrounds, colors, vocations, interests and foibles that we will never come to know about one another.  You might see me on the street, or on television and never know I am THAT GUY Fred.  I could be the soldier returning from Iraq or the next economist retained to support Joe Biden.  Yet our lives have become inexplicitly intertwined like the waters from many oceans, crashing together on the sandy shore.  So, yes, I do know you and you know me.  Because while each of our lives is FAR more than our fight to conquer our common addiction, I would venture to guess that the MOST important part of our lives right now, is that FIGHT we need to put forth, to rid our bodies of this innocently takenn rat pill we have been taking.  

It has been said, and it's worth repeating, that I suspect none of us were seeking altered states or thrills when we began our journey into the tramadol jungle and haze.  We took this supposedly harmless drug, only to feel "less unwell" than we were before our good doctors prescribed it for each of us.   And now we must EACH find our way from the addiction which has subtilly found it's way into the core of each of  our beings.   Like an unwelcomed weed quietly entering in the gardens as we slept, tramadol has sunk it's dirty teeth into us as we slept. As we lived,  As we loved.  And now  we must find a way to remove it from our lives today and forever.  

I am beginning my 5th day of cold turkey - EXCIZING the "non-addictive, synthetic opiate", tramadol  from my body.  THAT ONE which I can buy without a prescription and have sitting in my driveway via FEDEX in the morning.  THAT ONE must now go.  THAT ONE which my good family doctor, who knew I was a recovering alcoholic, glanced over the brims of his wire rim glasses from, to read about this tramadol in his journals, as I sat across from him ...and then declared that it was suitable for my chronic hip pain.     And it's THAT ONE that I would rather STOP now cold, even if it means enduring the pain, than for me to take THAT ONE ever again.  

I simply cannot describe the joy that comes with knowing that THAT ONE will no longer control me.  So what happened anyway?

>>>I suppose I ought to have known that I could become addicted to this little white pill.  
>>>I suppose that I ought to have "limited' my intake to the 1-2, 50 mg/day that he first told me would help.
>>>I suppose I should not have told my doctor, that 100 mg was no longer working for me.
>>>I suppose I ought to have raised the red flag, when over the years, it took more and more of the drug to make me  feel "less UNWELL".  (I never craved the drug, i only took it to make my chronic pain feel less "unwell".
>>>I suppose I should have known that more and more if this drug would do less and less for me and that it would take  take more and more of me in the process.  

>>>I suppose I had my share of "less unwell" days over the six years I knew this tramadol.
>>>I suppose when I wasn't withdrawing from the pain it created, I had some "less painful" days over the years.
>>>I suppose I could have ordered online to "make up the difference" toward the end of each RX cycle.  (see my journal entry describing MY  monthly withdrawal jollies)

But guess what?

I didn't.  I didn't.  I didn't.  I didn't.  I didn't.  I didn't and I didn't!!!

And here we are - in a fine kettle of fish.  Now WHAT ARE WE WILLING TO DO ABOUT IT NOW?  To what lengths are each of willing to go to eliminate the power that this drug has place over us?

There won't be any points scored in this game of RECOVERY  gazing backwards at the mistakes of the past.  Blamming our mothers, the FDA , a doctor, or ourselves won't add one lick of progress toward our recovery.   (I am with you though, Emily.   One day, when my aches and tingling and fevers and foggy mind becomes a distant memory, I  WILL get to the bottom of this.)   I will use the same passion I NOW use to kick this drug-  IN ORDER TO unveil "how" and "why" this drug isn't better controlled and more cautiously prescribed.  

THAT FIGHT, HOWEVER, IS LEFT FOR ANOTHER DAY.  Today it's BYE  BYE little devil residuals.  So sad to see you go!!!  

Over a week ago, I found the PATH via some bread crubs Emily had left on the Internet machine, and like in Hansill and Grettil, I was lead to this site.  But I  nearly missed the chance to hear your stories.  I nearly missed the chance to read your journal entries describing both the addiction I knew too well.   I nearly missed the path out which you had DISCOVERED AND are now fighting with me for.  

If I hadn't saved the PATH to my favorites, I may never have found my way back to you.  And the REALLY CRAZY thing is that every time I searched about recovering from tramadol addiction, six more sites offering to sell me the beautiful little white pills pop up.  So freely do they provide what we want?

Someone asked recently about attending NA (and I suppose treatment centers) are another option for recovery.  I have experience with both.  (sorry to burst your bubble gang, but Fred is not a virgin here :))  I'll admit it, I was a daily drinker for years and while I never got arrested, I never lost my job, I didn't loose my house, or my wife or my dog, alcohol was a problem.  And I had my last drink on June 26, 2001.  I thought long and hard about sharing this, but I concluded that it does you MORE good than it does me harm to break my annominity, so there you have it.  

So it is with some experience that I offer my take on the Treatment Center Option:  If you have $10,000. laying around or an insurance plan that will cover it AND if you either don't need to work or can take "sick leave", please, log off now and arrange to go into treatment.  

This is what you will get:  You'll learn about your disease, you'll eat great food, you'll play volleyball (whahoo!), you'll do a "challenge course" with your new friends, you'll draw  pictures of your disease on 48" x 36" butcher paper and explain what you drew, you'll attend lectures on your addiction, you'll have a few individual counseling sessions and did I mention, you'll eat some really great food?  Oh, and you'll get good drugs to address the symptoms we are all complaining about here.  And if you are really really lucky, they'll take you to some actual NA or AA meetings and you can decide whether a 12 step program is right for you.  

Now, as to NA and AA programs, it's fair to say that any of us here would feel welcome at these.  I go to an AA meeting every Friday night, as sort of an insurance plan against taking that first drink ever again.  You will find people just like us, who have made their own battle with their DOC (drug of choice)  the most important thing in their lives.  And you would be warmly welcomed and I am quite sure assisted.   But instead of via Emily's wires and tubes, you would be face to face.

So why am I here with my fellow warriers right now and not in an NA meeting?    Well, for starters, it's the middle of the night and except for our Austrailian friends, we ought to all be sleeping now.  I am still not sleeping well, but you know what?  I am using this time to learn all I can about MY addiction to this non addicting drug and taking the time to read about what you guys have gone through.  

The reality is this, I knew that there isn't anybody ELSE gonna save me from MY addiction, except me.  Want a REAL reality check?  The success rate for most  treatment programs is such that less than 1 out of 3 people who go through such a center will be clean and sober in one year.  Do you like those odds?  NOT me.

After reading posts from people like Emily and Cadillac Jack, I lcame to believe  that there is no easy way out of this S**T hole EXCEPT and unless I am willing to work for it.  Oh we can take vitimins and drugs to help lessen our pain during withdrawal, STRAIGHT TALK:   there isn't a program, plan, meeting, leather jacket, spouse, loved one, or friend that can do for me, what I CANNOT  or WILL NOT do for myself.  

>>>there isn't any GROUP or RANCH or HOME that is going to do for me, what I cannot do for myself.  There is no other pill I can take, no plan I can enroll in, no coat of armor I can put on, no destination I can travel to, THAT WILL DO FOR ME WHAT I CANNOT DO FOR MYSELF.  It's just me, us, the demon pill and time that will refresh us in recovery

I see folks exploring their options as they begin to realize the gig us up for them.  I have begun to get questions about this tramadol by wifes, seeking to save their husbands.  SADLY, recovery falls directly on you and me.  And hey, I suffered thru years and years of this addiction before I came to the point where I was so tired of counting how may pills I didn't have left and how painful that PARTIAL  withdrwal was month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month after month.  This sweet little non addictive synthetic opiate  drug that is easier to buy and/or  use than a pack of smokes.    Am I sympathteic?   Heck yes.  I am one of you.  I know you.  I get it.  It *****.  And it will probably suck more month by month until you are either free or dead.  

I CHOSE LIFE.  I CHOOSE FREEDOM.  

So the choice is really simple for me.  I choose to endure the pain, believing that better days will come.  And indeed, for those keeping score at home, I actually feel well right now at the beginning of my day 5 of NO tramadol.  

**************************

I have been rambling on long enough, so I am turning the mic over to Emily.  Below is a portion  of one of her journal entires from last summer, THAT I FOUND MEANINGFUL TO MY RECOVERY.   She was quite the fighter in her day too.  And would we actually that we might kick this drug without being upset?  

I think not.   So enjoy the read and take strength.

*************************

I mentioned it before, but I want to mention it again. Tramadol was declared a NARCOTIC in May of this year by Sweden. Go SWEDEN! It's kind of interesting how your mind can go from; "I want to die." To "When will this withdrawal end?" To;" Why is this drug being Sold to Innocent People?"

I really am freakishly strong for a woman. With No Insurance and no one to really support me I can't go into some rehab. I don't think I would want to anyhow. I don't want another drug to get off this drug. I want freedom. I want my brain back. Preferably without the massive headache.

What I was looking for when I arrived here was; what is the most painless way to get OUT of this mess?

Truth?

Just accept that it's going to be painful. Don't resist. There's this thing we do in Bikrams yoga. It's a form of breathing. Try it. You breathe IN to the count of say 5. Then you breathe out to the count of ten. Repeat. You will feel your heart rate drop. You will feel your central nervous system being forced to calm itself. All I can say is if God has a plan; this whole thing was part of his plan.

Without my yoga training. Without my determination NOT to be a chronic pain patient; I wouldn't still be here learning as fast as I am. Good thing about time slowing down? There's ALOT more you can learn about yourself. If I hadn't had all that yogic training I think I'd be in some crazy uninsured "we'll accidentally KILL you if we can" hospital rehabs ...

LOL! EXCEPT they wouldn't actually LET ME IN because see; Tramadol isn't supposed to be an OPIATE! Ahhhhhhahahahahahaaa! It's kinda funny. In a dark demented way.

There's nothing wrong with pain. The resistance of it only makes it increase. Feel the pain. Let it tell you its secrets. Let it instruct you. Pain hides nothing. Pain is not a liar. The resistance of pain IS a Liar. So you breathe and accept that withdrawal takes as long as it takes.

The Tramadol it's here in my house and I could give a rat's patootie. It seriously became like little capsules of rat poison to me. A build up for the big day when these idiot doctors would actually kill me. You have to ask yourself; how culpable are they? I was the one swallowing the "perfectly safe pills!"

**************
I have a few left over pills here too.  I intend to keep them as a reminder of what I am fighting against.   And if I want to start em up again.  GOD HELP ME.

courage and strength fellow warriers, Fred

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by shaffekl, Dec 06, 2008
Kyle, day one having extreme withrrdrwal pains,  This is not my first attempt.  I keep putting myself in my own hell. This time I was up to 20-30 a day.  Its cold turkey or nothing for me.  I have hit rock bottom.   My Girlfriend of three years have left me this time, we got engaged three months ago.  My parents have come and picked me up our place.  I have broken her trust for the third time.  I know what is in store for me and I don't think I can make it.  I really want my life back! what should I do?  

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by FinallyFred, Dec 06, 2008
shaffekl,  This site ought to be more accurately be called, "the guide to the terribly difficult, hard road to recovery through home withdrawal" site.  You may find a kinder gentler way to beat this addiction, but I don't know what that is and this one can be efffective if you re willing to work for it.  I hope you will read on.

You will see my posts around this place recently, because like you, I came to the place recently, where I KNEW I had to find a way to kick this thing.  So I have been making journal enties, researching withdrawal symptoms from tramadol, and writing like a mad man - totally determined, consumed, and focused to try and make this work for me.  And guess what? -it is working for me.  I just am wrapping my 5th day without taking any tramadol.  And only today, am I able to sense SOME kind of normalcy in my life again after six ROCKY years on the tramadol train.  

I totally respect and admire you.    Most seeking recovery wouldn't have the nerve to inquire, "what shall I do".  Frankly (and i KNOW this from my own personal experience until just days ago) it is easier to simply take another handful of pills than it is to inquire about getting well.

Let me turn your question around:  How badly do you want your life back?   I would hesitate to even begin the journey of recovery until you are really SURE that you are committed to making this work for you.  I am not trying to be flip or unkind.  God do I know what you are going through.  I just know that the battle cannot be won with half measures.  You see, I tried those month after month after month.  And I was not even able to able to limit the tramadol I was prescribed let alone stop entirely, no matter who wanted me to stop.  

If you are willing to do WAR with this evil drug, you can succeed.  I believe you can make it.  But it won't be easy.  And unless you determine that this is the most important thing you have ever done in YOUR life, I am afraid you'll never make it.  It may be important to your parents and/or to your girlfriend for you to stop, but unless/until it becomes IMPORTANT TO YOU, you don't stand a chance. (my opinion only)   Your body will scream out in pain, "make me not unwell" again.  It's a pathetic last ditch effort to keep you taking these little jewells.  Pain or pills?  I opted for pills 2,190 days in a row because it was the easier thing to do.  Why make life difficult?  And yes, we all have jobs to do and places to be without pain.  I really really get the choice.  And I chose pills 2,190 days consequetively until I found this site and realized that recovery IS possible if I am willing to do war with this drug.  So are you?

I have very little PROSPECTIVE.  My own recovery is too near the beginning to say for certain what tomorrow will bring.  But I know this, today was easier than yesterday and yesterday was easier than the day before and so on.  But as I read Emily Post's journal I found that this battle can be won, if we are willing to make this the most important battle we have waged.  ( I STRONGLY encourage you to find and click on Emily Post's icon to go to her journals) you will see that it is possible to overcome this terrible nasty wicked drug.  Sadly, the fight will consume you.  But it IS possible to do if you take things moment by moment and day by day.  

So talk to yourself.  Ask how badly you really want to overcome this drug.   There won't be any remedy to take away the pain that I know you will must feel right now. See the pain as a reminder of the struggle you are in.  That pain means tramadol is leaving your system and it won't go without a fight.  There are however, some things you can do to make the tough journey a little lighter.  

(1) Keep posting - it helped me firm up my own resolve.  (2) Keep reading other's posts - it will help you see that it is DOABLE  (3) pay attention to the things others have written about to lighten the burdon - inability to sleep and freakishly terrible foot pain would be tops on my list to find a remedy to ease during your first few days.  

There are medications a doctor could prescribe to address sleeplessnes and foot pain  But if you are like most of us, the last thing you want to do is to admit to your doc that you have become addicted to tramadol, for fear that he/she may not renew your order any longer.  And if your addiction is ANYTHING like mine, you want a place to go to order your next RX.  Of course if you were taking 20-30/day, i suspect that you have already found a way to order online, cause my doc never prescribed more than 8/day for me.  And i thought he was being unkind for limiting my drug of choice.  

My addiction told me to hide my problem from my doctor.  What would I have said, "I am addicted to these pills doctor, prescribe more of them for me please?"  In retrospect, I have to admit that it is at least possible that he could/would have prescribed things to have made these past five days easier. So if you do have a relationship with a doctor, I would tell him straight up about your troubles and see if he can help prescribe something to make coming off this hellish drug more bearable.   The down side of course is that you probably fear that he will never write another script for you.  Frankly, I wasn't willing to risk asking because I didn't know how this would end up for me.  Maybe that's you as well?  

I DO know you.  We know one another.  I know the pain you are going through.  I know how hard it is to say "no" damit, when a hand full of little white pills could make you "not unwell" again in under an hour.  

This addiction is no respector of persons.  I may be the man that pours you coffee at the coffee shop, of the one who takes the keys to your car when you ask me to park it for you, or I may be your banker, or your lawyer, or your librarian, or your hairdresser, or your mechanic, or the one who instructs you at the voc/tech school near your home.  I could be the man who sits on the tractor, or the baker who turns dough into bread, or the bass player in a group you have a CD of, of I may be the greenskeeper at the course where you play golf... or the model on the runnway (well, okay, I guess we could rule THAT one out!) , or the guy who writes an estimate on your car, or the mechanic who drains your oil, or the congressman who passes the laws governing your taxes.  No ethnic group, race, sex, age, vocation, education, financial status or religion will make you immune from tramadol addiction.  

The fact is, I expect that we all got into the mess we are in honestly.  I suspect that we didn't begin taking this drug to get high.  If we did, wow, did we bet on the wrong horse!  To the contrary, we are generally good people like yourself, who find ourself in the middle of the biggest fight of our lifetime.  

You asked, "what should I do?"    My response:  take some time if you aren't sure yet what you really WANT to do.   Take some time to think about what cost you rte willing to bear to overcome this addiction.  And if YOU really want to do this thing now, hold on, buckle up, and get ready for the ride of your life.  Because you are about to do the most difficult thing you can ever imagine.  I'd like to candy coat this, but that isn't possible.  SORRY, really i am.

I look at it this way, there are worse pieces of medical news I could get besides "I am addicted to tramadol.  I could have just been told that I have terminal cancer.  THIS ONE I can do something about. THIS problem can have a happy ending if I am only willing to work my *** off.  Regrettably, some bits of medical news won't have a happy ending regardless of how much we work for them.  

The question is, what are you WILLING to do?  If you want a kind gentle ride, the circus should be in town next Spring and ponys will be there to take on riders..  Cold turkey isn't for you.  

But if you are as fed up as I was, if you are as tired of the lies as I was, if you are as sick of the repeated partial withdrawals we all go through on this drug MONTH AFTER BLOODY MONTH, if you are tired of staying home waIting for the FEDEX man - then you have your own answer.  And if you do decide to take on the challenge, people who post on this site will be here for you.  

So with the utmost compassion, understanding and love, let me ask you...what should YOU do?

Courage and strength to all who enter this rooms.  Fred  

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by shaffekl, Dec 07, 2008
thanks fred

The second day has been far worse.  I can not sit still and I can get up to move around.  I am doing my best to stay hydrated.  My skin is crwaling unbearabley.  I cant sleep a wink.  There is no relief.  My focus has become more of the battle mind frame.  I know I my wordage is really bad but I can barely see straight.  Has anybody every had tremors in their sight.  I wish I could be more expressive like you Fred,  but I do appricate the words of encouragment.  I wish i could do more to help with your recovery.  But, man, your words have helped me today.  I know what I want and its my life back even though it will never be he same.  I lucky to have family to help me through this. I need do do this for myself and not anyone else, which is extremely hard for me since I am a giver.   Day three will be better, right?    

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by FinallyFred, Dec 07, 2008
shaffeki,  I am SO proud of you.  Yes, day 3 will be easier than day two, but it will take a few more days before your body stops feeling like you have the flu.  No worries about your wordage, NONE of us will be making any money at this.  :)  

Have you started to make journal entries to record your own struggles and reasons for quitting?  Did you read Emily's journal?  As much as possible these past several days, I have tried to learn as much as I could from others AND at the same time, recording my own struggles.  (as I mentioned once before, i think my wife thinks I am spending FAR too much time on the computer, but nothing matters to me more than beating this.  And writing journal entries helps keep your mind off of the pain I know you feel right now.

The first step is the hardest and you have taken that one.  Just a few more days and you will be out of the jungle.  You have come TOO FAR to give up now.  CONGRATS.  

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by EmilyPost, Dec 07, 2008
Hi Shaffeki;

That's exactly right. Approach it like a WAR. Beat it to death before it kills you. The amount you were taking is high, but you have detoxed a few times, so alot of this won't be new. But please, allow us to help in any way. Mainly I think just knowing that your life can and will be better without this drug is encouraging.

I'm very sorry to here about your girlfriend and the loss and broken heartedness of that. I was really happy to hear that your Family was coming to pick you up and care for you.

There's temporary relief offered by distraction techniques. Watching comedies, taking baths with mineral salts. I found in the beginning I was too weak for baths so I would use Batherapy Lavender (which has a crazy high amount of minerals in it) as a scrub in a hot shower.

Clean clothes helped alot cause of the sweat. Comfortable.

B-12 sublingual tablets were invaluable to me. They didn't give me energy, they helped calm me down. I assume this was because stress made my system depleted of B Vitamins.

Emergency C packages were great in water. I could not drink straight water. They also now make a pre-prepared vitamin drink. I also drank alot of apple juice.

Imodium AD (specifically the AD) tablets or liquid will calm down the withdrawal. It works with opiates and with this c-r-appola.

Honey helped when I thought I was about to die, or when the Fig descended.

It's amazing that you can not sit still. This is one weird drug.

A heating pad and ice packs are invaluable.

Sleep. Benadryl or Tylenol PM or passionflower, valerian root, hot chamomile tea, listening to calm iPod meditation music helps. I used to strap an ice pack to my right leg (nerve damage) and foot and lay a heating pad across my belly. I remember using all kinds of crazy pillows to prop myself up and try to get comfortable.

You ask, "I know I my wordage is really bad but I can barely see straight.  Has anybody every had tremors in their sight."

Yes, for me in early withdrawal I could not read magazines or books, I could barely see the computer. But I am lucky cause I have a laptop and a tray so it was close. I did alot of writing and ranting and there's a bazillion misspelled words, run on sentences .. and so on. It was just; I was so determined to get off the pills. I knew it was going to kill me.

I think it was and is amazing that no one else said anything to me. It was, in retrospect really obvious something crazy was going on with me. I wonder now if anyone thought I was just suffering from chronic pain or if I was on drugs. That's the incredibly annoying part about Tramadol. It's considered so "safe." PPfffttt!!! for me (I speak only for myself here) it was so much easier to get off codeine than Tramadol. Part of that was just that the source ran out. Cause codeine is considered "dangerous."

It's so awful now for me to hear that anyone is taking Tramadol. One of my Girlfriends is taking it for cramps. She gets it from her mother, who is on worker's comp for a knee injury. So unsafe. I can see that Tramadol change in her too when she takes it. It's so awful. And just last night I had someone at a party ask the group what medication they took for back pain.

I stayed silent and two of the women went on about Tramadol and I literally just felt sick to my stomach. It is funny cause one of those ladies had a mild ... nervous breakdown about a month ago. It was probably her running out of Tramadol actually! Sad. I didn't and won't give anyone the Tramadol is a Dawg from He$$ opinion In Real Life because it's a useless endeavor. They are too busy quoting doctors at me. Telling me how wonderful it is. It's too irritating to have to listen to that nonsense when I know that eventually they will be hooked like I was. They'll probably be HERE reading this soon enough ...

You say, " know what I want and its my life back even though it will never be he same.  I lucky to have family to help me through this. I need do do this for myself and not anyone else, which is extremely hard for me since I am a giver.   Day three will be better, right?"

You life will be better. Not taking the evil demon pill will help you.

You are a giver (I am too) but learning to accept love and compassion and help is part of a balanced life.  

Day three will be better :D

Do you know how you got hooked? I ask cause I know I bought the whole chronic pain thing hook line and sinker! But it was a lie.

Love and healing,
Emily

Fred I salute you in spending so much time here and helping yourself and other :D ... find the people wo have success and do what they did ... a good way to win a war ,,,



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by Organica, Dec 07, 2008
Oh (((shaffeki))),
I read your post and FEEL for you.  I have little advice to offer as the others have done it so well, except to
agree absolutely with the diversional ideas - LOTS of videos. I also listen to recorded books, which takes very little effort if they are light and 'a good read'.  And if you have a dog or cat, cuddle them lots!  In my bad times my cats snuggle round me and it feels lovely.
I am battling physically due to my chronic illness as well as withdrawal, but am down to under 50mg.  The BIG one was coming down from 200mg to 100.  It really is all downhill from here.
I took my unused 100mg tablets (all 60 of them) to the pharmacy this morning, for disposal (we are encouraged to do that in Aus, rather than just chuck them out).  It felt like a ceremony.  
Celebrate the achievments... despise the drug!!!!
Peace and strength,
Sue

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by FinallyFred, Dec 08, 2008
Okay, I am up early for WORK today.  Took EP's suggestion to allow extra "coffee" time before facing my job, so what the heck, I may as well rant while I drink my java.

I slept really well last night - Yay.  If you are in early withdrawal - there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Those sleepless nights and phantom pins and needles in the limbs will pass.  Don't give up or you will miss the miracle.  

THAT miracle finds me this morning WITHOUT ANY pain in my surgical site...or in the VAST other areas of my body that sweemed to increase over the six years I was taking tramadol regularly.  

How could THIS drug CAUSE pain?  Truth be told, while I was on tramadol, I actually thought that my entire body was going down hill fast AND that tramadol told me that it was saving me from what I considered to be a really high # of areas of my body that were going painfully ballistic.  And as those wierd pains increased in number and multiplied, I simply complained about my hip pain to my M.D...cause THAT pain was real (I thought)...forget all the other places in my body that were mushrooming in pain.  I kept it simple when talking with my doc.  More tramadol please for the hip pain.  

But over the years, I was requiring more and more tram to combat what I thought was not only an increasing hip pain, but to all those other pain sites, which had developed throughout my body.  Truth be told, I thought I had developed fibromyalgia...and the drug told me that I was SO LUCKY to know it...so lucky...that it was on my side...so fortunate to have tramadol to cover all of these new painful areas in my body.  

EACH of us thinks we are terminally unique.  That our experience is unique to ourselves.   But I believe that if we stick around long enough, we will hear someone else's story and realize it is identical to our own.  Someone read my story recently and shared that it was EXACTLY her story.  Down to the counting of pills, the monthly withdrawals, and the searching for pills in places one tiny 50 mg pill could have hidden.  

FAST forward to today...

FAST forward through that terrible physical withdrawal I have experienced over the last week.

FAST forward past telling tramadol...that it had to go.

FAST forward through the sleepless nights and pins and needles and the FLU like symptoms all throughout my body.  

FAST forward past the "I can't bear this another minute" thoughts.

I nearly missed the miracle.  Withdrawl is so ugly and hard.  

Tramadol tried to keep me and didn't want me to know...

...the LIE it held over me all these years

was just a lie.

The MIRACLE is that all those places in my body - where tramadol told me I had GOOD reason to to continue my relationship with THAT drug - no longer hurt today.

The MIRACLE is that my body is getting well again.

The MIRACLE is that I no longer have the pains that tramadol told me were reasons to increase the # of pills i needed through all those years to feel NOT UNWELL.

I use the phrase, "not unwell" a LOT.  I know that it's a double negative.  I know that NOT UNWELL really could be construed to mean "well".  Except taht I really never felt WELL on this drug.  When I consider how my body cried out for MORE AND MORE tramadol over those six years I was "on" tramadol, I can't bring myself to say that tramadol made me well.  Cause that would be giving "credit status" to something that IT does not deserve.  Tramadol did not make me WELL.  It made me unwell.  So the best and highest praise i can offer is that I thought it was making me "not unwell".  And even that is FAR more credit than it deserves.

Indeed, tramadol did NOT make me well all those years.  Indeed, it told me I was going to the dogs, that I could not possibly endure the mounting pain while on the drug if i did not take more and more if it.  And so the best I can say is that I thought it was making me NOT UNWELL.  And that is the BEST product endorsement I can make...I thought it made me NOT UNWELL.  

So warriors, if you are fighting today - just fight a little longer and peace will come.  Just a little longer and your body will know the truth - that THIS drug has been lying to you all these years, for fear you will leave it.

Don't give in to it's lies.  Yet a little longer and you will know the truth.   THIS drug did you no favors.  It only wanted to possess you.  And as my body is becoming RID of this EVIL drug, I can now see now that there are a whole lot better things to be possessed by - or rmaybe none at all.

Emily talked yesterday about friends she knows "in real life" who still think t is the cats meow.  I know some of those people too.  And my breathe won't be wasted either on attempting to convince them that tramadol is anything but the miracle drug they think that it is.

Nobody arrived at this site because they thought tramadol was still working for them.  We found it because we KNEW it was turning on us and we sought help by doing searches with sweet descriptive phrases in the "search machine"  (for you Emily!) like "addicted tramadol" , "withdrawal tramadol", "painful tramadol" and "cold turkey tramadol" .  

SAVE this site as a favorite.  You have arrived at the last house on the block.  You need to find yourway back.

Talk about how you are feeling here.  Even if you think we are raging crazy, tell us about that.

Share your victories and defeats.  

Now I am off to try my NON-tramadol brain at work.  Wish we luck.  It's still frightening to put my yet foggy slow brain up against those who have not known this EVIL.  But others here tell me it can be done...and so far, I have no reason to doubt how others found their way...from the last house on the block, to a brave new world.  

Courage and strength to you all.  Fred

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by newbie6, Dec 08, 2008
Fred,

Good luck to you at work today, I am anxious to hear how the day goes and how you feel.  I am trying to time my "tramadol vacation" so that the day I come back to work is as painless as possible.  This means I am going to move up my start date to accomodate that first work day.  Since the week of Christmas is usually pretty light around the office and my boss will be gone, I am thinking about taking my last pill on Friday the 19th, making Saturday the 20th day 1.  I will go back to work on Monday the 21st through Wednesday the 24th, which would be days 3-5.  Is this a mistake?  I want to make the time at my in-laws as pleasant as possible, which means I will be on days 6-9, returning to work on Monday Dec. 29th, which would be Day 10.  What do you think about this plan Fred. (or anyone else out there that wants to weigh in)  I am both scared and excited at the same time.  Scared because I am feeling really good right now because I am back on my T cycle, but excited because of all of the posts on here recently saying how wonderful it is once you are off.  I have purchased everything I need for the withdrawals I think, but still would like to know from people that tried to cover up the symptoms with other drugs if they then had withdrawals when they stopped the cover-up drugs?  I know it would be best to not use any drugs but I just cannot do that unfortunately.  I am hoping my plan is a good one, once I set the course I know I will stick to it because that is just how I am.  But I want to make sure it is a good plan before I begin it.

Thank you to all who are so wonderful and supportive on this forum,

Matt

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by EmilyPost, Dec 08, 2008
Hello Tramadol Warriors!

For me Matt. days 1-3 were the worst. BUT if you have an office slow down, your boss will be gone, it sounds solid. If you can basically do your job by looking busy, and maybe people will think you have the flu, it would be good. Because then when you come back to work, you will be thru a very rough spot.

Does everyone know that you're coming off Tramadol or is it a secret? You Family, your wife I mean? Obviously not your coworkers ...

The cover up drugs. You asked once before if you would experience the full withdrawal from Tramadol after you stopped the xyz? I doubt it. The Thomas Recipe aka The Thomas Detox calls for a Benzo. Usually klonopin. I had klonopin because they gave me klonopin to deal with side effects from Tramadol. This now seems completely crazy, but the whole experience was a nightmare. I am tapering off Klonopin very slowly (as you have to with a Benzo or you can have un pleasantries like death ...)

Anyhow I had meds that were supposed to "ease" Tramadol withdrawal. They might have helped? Soma, and codeine. Did I get addicted? No. But I am tapering klonopin. I really can't imagine doing it again. I thought I was going to die. The things you need for withdrawal will help you.

It's GREAT that you have a plan and have executed the plan. For me Imodium AD didn't work against w/d pain unless I took a sizeable dose. Way more than is recommended. And I'm a woman and small ... so ....

There's really no easy way. No kinder softer way.

I don't know if you'd get addicted to the other opiates or things you use to make a Tramadol withdrawal easier .... I think deep down, you probably know the answer to that question.

Yes, life w/o Tramadol is soooo much less painful. I just did not realize how much time, energy and $$ this little devil was stealing from me. The amount of havoc and discord it caused is amazing. It stole from me and wasted my time.

I never ever bought into the idea that I would need an antidepressant to treat post Tramadol depression. It seemed like ... in my bones ... my being itself rejected the idea that I was in a depression that was brought about by anything EXCEPT the Tramadol leaving my bones, my joints, my brains ... I waited and the depression vanished. I'm also not saying that my way is the only way. It was just; my way.

Ok Matt you asked, ..."....but still would like to know from people that tried to cover up the symptoms with other drugs if they then had withdrawals when they stopped the cover-up drugs?"

As I mentioned I used Soma and Codeine and klonopin. I didn't find them amazingly helpful except the klonopin. What I did find helpful was Excedrin Migraine when I had to go to work. And regular Excedrin helped with pain. I was a bit amazed an Over the counter helped more than any narcotics or muscle relaxants. Physical medicine, heat and ice and muscle rubs. Hot tea, hot baths, Epsom salts ... Biofreeze ...

Just knowing you'll have the time set forth to do this Matt comforts me alot and makes me think you'll be a success.

Fred really is right. Tramadol doesn't help. It actually causes a whole miracle of NEW and more horrifying problems ... while being told by everyone around you that it is the Bees Knees and not addictive... blah blah blah ....

Anyhow Matt I am so proud of you for enacting a Tramadol Vacation! Seriously I promise your life is about to get a whole lot better!!

Good job FRED! Good Luck today! I'll be sending you happy healthy vibes ... hoping yu have lots of stuff with you to help you thru your day. I will say this; my brain was all whacked out bit once I was around people; it did help me ...

By the way I am still laughing about the extra 10K laying around for going to rehab. I mean, laughing in that sort sick and wrong way. What this country has done to people amazes and disgusts me. The heathcare reform ... needs to come asap.

Until then; let's help one another with compassion and understanding.

Love and Health,
Emily



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by FinallyFred, Dec 08, 2008
Matt,  Okay, so you are going to laugh at this, but I work in the office at the other end of our house (I generally telecommute).  So I "went to work" at 8 this morning after spending a longer than usual "wake up" time per Emily's suggestion.  I saved this site as a favorite on my "other/work " computer as well, but since I work for a large corporation, I am reluctant to post using it, if you know what I mean.  So after noticing your and Emily's notese, when lunch time rolled around, I walked to the otther end of the house, and logged on to my personal computer in our kitchen to write you this note.  Hey,I do get a lunch break (wink wink).

Before getting into the "work affects" of withdrawl I do want to affirm that based on my singular experience with this withdrawal stuff, if you are planning your visit to the in laws on days 6-9, you will be the "perfect" son-in-law and what a great time to vist them.  You shouldn't be loosing sleep by day 6, you shouldn't have any gut wrenching stomach pains, you shouldn't have those lovely "pins and needles" n your feet and your body won't feel like you got hit by a Mack truck.   So you will feel GREAT, albeit foggy, but you can simply smile and move about as they instruct you.  You will be the PERFECT house guest - no physical ailments and no brain either!  (I am kidding you a bit here)

You would be the best judge of how lousy you want to feel going to work on the 2nd day of withdrawal.  Oh I suspect I could have sat at my desk, told people I had the flu, called clients, sent work emails, etc., but I would not have been effective or efficient in anything.  Basically, the amount of sleep that I operated on those first days made me entirely worthless.

I read Emily's note posted recently, where she said, "BUT if you have an office slow down, your boss will be gone, it sounds solid. If you can basically do your job by looking busy, and maybe people will think you have the flu, it would be good. Because then when you come back to work, you will be thru a very rough spot. "  I would probably agree, with the wild card being that you really need to get SOME sleep the night before working or you will feel like...you hadn't sleep (I have a treemendous grapse of the obvious  heh heh heh.

I didn't take Klonopin but I did have some Gabapentin, which I mentioned before, which a doctor had presecribed when she reduced the 8 tram/day that i had been on for years to 6 pills/day last month.  AT the time, I thought she was cold and heartless for expecting me to reduce the tramadol I was on, but they did come in handy as I began my silly drastic "taper" five days before I stopped.  Of course, I'm not a doctor, but I think you are wise to use something or your feet will have you up and down from bed like the woman who reported being up 47 times a night!  

For sleep, I just used Tylenol PMs plus trazadone, which is technically an anti-depressant, but which I have been taking at bedtime for five years to knock me out.  

In summary, I like your plan to detox/withdraw while @ work first, given what you said about the office being slow that week and then showing up at the in-laws feeling much better for Christmas.  But if you think you expect yourself or if others are expecting you  to be productive trhos efirst few days and if you think you will be ANYTHING more than a pretty face sitting at a desk, forget it.  (You didn't like my idea of detoxing at their house and being the misserable son-in-law, huh?  I can't blame you.)  


I have already mentioned that I am feeling great today, so I won't rehash all that now, except to say that all of that pain which I used to feel IS ENTIRELY GONE.  

But the work thing this morning...arrrrg.

You probably wouldn't have known it, but I expect a great deal of myself.  I am WAY TYPE A.  And I was off for over a week (withThanksgiving) so I had hundreds of emails to begin to review as well as all of the other correspondence, phone messages, PROBLEMS that came in while I was away.  

So how did I do?  Well, for starters, my vision is pretty blurry.  I hadn't really paid much attention to that when I was on my "tramadol vacation", but with the pressure on one's work,  my vision thing is a problem.  

The other work complaint is that my mind is in a bit of a fog and I often find myself reading something and realizing that I couldn't recall what I had been reading.  NOT good.  But I was hearted by your note and Emily's sweet, "I'll be sending you happy healthy vibes" comment.  

I might try and get back to your quesions tonight after work Matt.  I know that this is important to you and I sense you will succeed.  You are wise to plan ahead.  

Hi Ho Hi Ho back to work and all that.   Cheers.







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by Fireman50, Dec 08, 2008
Hi, I just found this journal by typing "Tramadol Withdraw" into Google. A quick background with myself and Tramadol. I have been taking it for about 3-4 months. I know, that's not a very long time but the last 2 months I was taking hi doses at or around 8-10 50mg instant release tabs a day. I finally realized last week that I was addicted to Tramadol. I realized this when I didn't take any at all one day and the next day I had hot flashes and vomited. After I vomited I took 4 Tramadol and a hour later felt better. This past Friday I broke down and told my Fiance what had happened. I actually cried to her because I was so depressed and felt so lonely. She immediately comforted me and told me that we would get through this together. Just by her saying that made me feel better for a split second. I am also in the process of weaning off Benzos which I was only taking for 6 months at most 1.5mg a day of xanax. I am down to 2.5mg diazapam in the morning and 2.5mg at night. We went to GNC on Saturday and got some vitamins including. B12 sub-lingual tabs, Saint Johns Wart, Multi Vitamin and a 7 day flush. Each one is helping just a little bit in there own way. It is now day 3 and I still feel like **** but finally mustered the strength to go out to my doctor and tell him my issue and he believed me that the Tramadol is causing this withdraw. I told him I did not want any more medication that would help me with depression because I do not want to be on medications anymore that were forced down my throat by a previous doctor. I told my Fiance I wanted to go to church with her this past Sunday, in which I haven't been to in about 3 years. I was looking for something to believe in. The withdraw has taken over my past 3 days. While in church I felt normal for 1 hour. It was great. When we left my Fiance looked at me and said. " I prayed for you the whole time while we were there". That brought a tear to my eye and I told her I am glad she is there for me. I am a athletic 27 y/o male who is a Firefighter in a big metropolitan city and felt that I was invincible to dependence. This experience has shown me that I am not.

I am glad I found this website because it has shown me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it gets here in time for Christmas.

I would also like to contribute some helpful information my Dr. told me. He said that in the winter months some people can feel worse than in the spring and summer because of a deficiency of vitamin D3. It is a vitamin that is absorbed through UV rays. He told me to go lay in a tanning bed for 15 min. after I left his office. Well I did and I came out feeling a lot better. I even had enough energy to take a 1/2 mile jog around the neighborhood.

Is there any advice anyone else can give that I am already not doing? Also how long do you guys think these withdraw effects will last? Your information is greatly appreciated.

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by Fireman50, Dec 08, 2008
I know nobody has replied yet but I just wanted to add a great find my Dr. just called me about. It's a vitamin called L-theanine. you can read about it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theanine

It increases brain serotonin, dopamine, GABA levels.

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by boomoon, Dec 08, 2008
this is such an inspiring place!  i've only posted here once but read often.  at the worst i was taking 20 - 50mgs a day.  all of the time i spent thinking about my refills and what if i run out, etc etc.  i went the taper route and the last time i took a tramadol was 5 days ago.  got down to 5 a day for a week, then 3, then 1.  i never thought i'd be free of it, every time i started cold turkey i couldn't function well enough to work.  

i can't even imagine the thought of taking that ever again, it sickens me.  i'm angry at all of the $ spent, all of the time lost and how apathetic i've been!

i have been taking l-tyrosine daily and that seems to help alot.  i know i'm not myself yet but every day i feel a little more of me coming back.  i am so grateful for not having that ball and chain hanging on to me.  such a heavy weight off the shoulders.  

thank you to everyone here who writes, it's been a real inspiration for me to do this.  what an evil, evil thing that tramadol is!  i even dislike typing that word!!!

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by boomoon, Dec 08, 2008
Haven't heard about the l-theanine but it sounds like it would help, i'm using l-tyrosine, it seems there are a number of amino acids that are helpful.

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by boomoon, Dec 08, 2008
buggyboo,

i don't know, but i'm not sure how safe cold turkey is if you're pregnant, i'm kind of surprised your doc just told u to stop taking it.  i'd think he would want to closely monitor your withdrawal and maybe have u taper quickly but taper none the less.  

wishing u and the little one all the best :)  stick around here for inspiration!

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by emergee, Dec 08, 2008
fred,  i have been wondering how you came out today.  glad to hear about the home office.   i tried to be officially in my home office as well and failed miserably.  you have been sounding so chipper that in comparison i thought you were in much better shape than me.  the good news for newbies is the extreme horribleness is pretty much gone by day 6,  the bad news for me is that i can't think.  no brain at all.  can't function on the mental plain of reading and absorbing and making decisions.  i am going to have to back waaay off my expectations of myself.  i would like to be working actually.  not working,  besides the money stress,  gives me too much time to think about my life and my mistakes and etc, etc, etc.  so i guess you could say there is a depressive factor here.   i found my jigsaw puzzle in the kitchen very comforting today.  on the way in there to get some more vitamins i would pass it and stop and spend 30 minutes resting my personality.  just go nowhere for a while.   this was day 12.   i did go to the gym.  it wasn't too bad.  doing that makes your symptoms go away for about an hour i have found.  
someone told me that hylands did not work for the restless legs.  she said she followed the instructions on the bottle.  well, i really was remiss in not saying that you have to keep taking them every few minutes until the rls leaves.   just chew away, take half the bottle,  take the whole bottle.   mine left that night and did not come back.   its homeopathic so its not a drug.  completely safe.  
and i think  NOT UNWELL is a perfect discription of what a good day is like for T withdrawal.   not unwell is great.  
fireman,  that is so much better that your fiancee is in this with you.  yeah,  exercise is your greatest help in withdrawal if you can force yourself to do it.  
emily,  is your brain back?  when did it come back?
this is the last house on the block.  yeah.
i am so glad you guys are here.

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by emergee, Dec 08, 2008
every time i think that i am over this thing and i can go on with my life,  i am brought up short,  and turn back to this forum to touch base with the only people who truly understand.  it is truly a profound thing that we are doing,  or have done.  i got a note from phantomgirl who is freaking out , in overwhelm and discouragement.  it tried to direct her here but it isn't exactly easy to describe how to find it.  
fred,   i never thought to check comments on my posts here.  can i find that somewhere?

i realize i went through this detox last january and i didn't even know it.   i had surgery and was taking opiates.  the doctor couldn't understand why i had so much trouble with pain.  the whole experience was nightmarish and now i know why.   of course i innocently got back on T not realizing what i was doing.  starting up the addiction again.  jeeeeez.  

for me ,  there is a nightmare quality to this wd .  not just the physical symptoms but it's like an aura.    there is hope too,  and good stuff , like i am not just disintegrating and going down the tubes,  it is the T doing that.  

you guys,  try to contact phantomgirl.   she sounds like she needs support right now.  

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by FinallyFred, Dec 09, 2008
Fireman,  I am sorry this is so late getting to  you.  I know first hand how important it is to hear back from someone else in those early days.

WELCOME to our world my friend.  I will get to a couple of your questions in a moment, but I do want to make a couple of general housekeeping suggestions.

First - if you haven't already saved this to your favorites yet, take a moment and do so now.  I had such a hard time finding it the second time when I tried to get back here - and as you know the WAY back is litered with dozens of sites that none of us needs to look at.

Let me explain why I seem a bit compulsive about making sure people can find their way back here by saving the site to their favorites.  

TRUTH:  Before I had decided what I intended to do about my addiction, I had visited but not posted to this site once  two weeks ago.  A few days later, I searched for "tramadol withdrawal" again and dozens of sites offering to sell me pills without a prescription popped up.  I was unable to locate this site right off again.  While in over six years I had never bought tramadol on line,   I was running low (go figure!) and I thought I ought to cover the bases and  seek both help and at the same time make sure I had a nice supply of this evil drug on hand.  SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT MY BEST THINKING not doing me any favors?

So I filled out the on line order and then arrived on this site.  Some minutes later, as I began pouring over enties at this site I had my first sense that recovery MAY be possible.  I have to admit, by that time I was having mixed feelings about what I had just done moments before I found this site for the second time.  

As I was reviewing these posts, I noticed I had a new email in my inbox.  I toggled over  and I found an email from the the on line supplier I had just placed my tramadol order with.   They wre notifying me that my request for 180 pills because in my tramadol stuppor, I had included everythign but my master card account # and my order was being REJECTED!   Over the next day, i receivfed three phone calls and two more emails letting me know tht they watned to fill my order despitee by taht time, I had told them verbally and emailed them that I (by taht time) was no longer interested.  Looking back now, I see this as the first miracle that in a way, has lead to my recovery.    So if I seem a little preoccupied with making sure that new folks here save this site to their favorites, you now have the rest of my story.  

Second:  I have concerns that some people new to this site are missing the "meat" of the message of hope and battle, by not checking out Emily's journal enties.  She has great links to oteh sites as wll as a list of supplies to help in your recovery.  Click on her ICONnext to one of her posts  and you will be redirected to her journal entries.  I am certain she doesn't mind us reading these and in fact, they have proven INVALUABLE TO MY RECOVERY.  

Third:  Consider beginning your own journal entries.  Distraction:   I did this when I began this fight myself and if nothing else, it kept me busy so my mind was not fighting with it's self and it helped time to pass.

I'll get off my dime soap box and I will try to address your post.  You said, "I have been taking it for about 3-4 months. I know, that's not a very long time but the last 2 months I was taking hi doses at or around 8-10 50mg instant release tabs a day. I finally realized last week that I was addicted to Tramadol. I realized this when I didn't take any at all one day and the next day I had hot flashes and vomited".  

Well Sparky, all I can say is that I am terribly GLAD that you realized that you ere addicted when you did.  The warnings about this drug HIGHLY understate how physically addictive this thing IS.  For your sake, I am glad you found out when you did.  I went through six years of monthly withdrawals to this drug as my prescription wound down each month.  And month after month, I would tell myself, never again will I take more than my prescribed daily amount.  But over time, the drug builds up a tolerance in your system, such that it would do nothing but get more difficlt to (10 stay on teh damned drug and (2) harder to STOP over time.  

I have heard people taking this for only a week, who get addicted and who go through withdrawal.  But the pill contineus to be sold without a prescrition nad many people believe that this is far more addictive than many opiates.  Go figure!

You also mentioned, "This past Friday I broke down and told my Fiance what had happened. I actually cried to her because I was so depressed and felt so lonely. She immediately comforted me and told me that we would get through this together."  You are definately a lucky man with a Finance' who is willing to help you and not condemn you for this addiction.    How great is that?    And you are doing great guns if you have made it through 3 days.  One more day and it will be downhill.  I wrote a journel entry today on "counting the days" that you might find interesting and another a few days ago on "higher powers", which based on what you have said, may interest you or not.  Oh, and don't worry about the tears.  I can't recall a week in which I have been so emotional or when I cried so much for no good reason as I have this past week or so.  I think it's a drug thing.  On Saturday, fifth day of withdrawal, I was walking around a wedding  reception crying after a wedding we had attended.  I mean REALLY rediculus sobbing and telling anyone who woud listen about how wonderful the wedding cerimony was.  I have always been "sensative'  but that crying jag WAY over the top, even to me at the time!!!  Fireman, my adult sons kept asking me why I was crying.  THAT was fun too!  

There are others here who know a great deal more about the chemistry of beating the addiction than do I.  I pretty much just gutted it out until it stopped killing me.  Emily had some good resources in her early journal entries.  I pretty well struck to LOTS of B-12, immodium AD, HYLANDS RESTFUL LEGS (TAKE LOTS AS NEEDED), some NSAIDs I had and sleep aids of OTC tylenol PM.  I may have spared myself some pain and gotten better sleeps in if I had better prepared, but when the opening arrived, i walked through and wanted to get started.  I didn't want to mess around going to see a doctor.  Pretty much for me, when it was time, it was time and I just got busy.   But I REALLY admire people who methodically make preperation for and then execute their planned withdrawal week.  I am not just one of those guys.  

I tried to keep busy writing in my journal, devouring anything i could find on tramadol,  and posting to this site and reading over and over and over what others had done.  My only other advice is never start until YOU are ready and don't STOP before the miracle happens.  But you are WELL on your way.  And in grand sceme of things, a four day WAR isn't such a great price to pay to be normal again, huh?

After you get past the 4th day,  you wil lhave other less severe symptoms like sneezing and walking into walls and dizziness and lack of concentration and burry vision and some report depression, though I haven't experienced that.  Oh and I am warned that the withdrawal is not linear, and that random symptoms can return at random times.  And if this paragraph didn't scare the **** out of you, you ae a better man than I.

Finally, you said that you were glad that (you) "found this website because it has shown me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it gets here in time for Christmas".   Before responding to that one, do you mind if I ask "which Christmas" you were asking about - 2008 or 2009?  MY SICK ATTEMPT AT HUMOR MY FRIEND!!!   Seriously if you stay on the path that you have begun, you will be doing marvellously well by later this week.  Try and write to let us know how you are doing.  

Wishing you strength and courage.  Fred


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by FinallyFred, Dec 09, 2008
emergee, I agree, Phantom Girl sound like she is dying out there.  I know "dying" and wish I could do more.  She sent me a note too and I THINK I gave her the website address  here, http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/20035.  Appatrently you contacted her through another "addiction" website and I agree, it would be helpful for her to log on one set up to address tramadol addiction.  

I have beat this like a DEAD horse, but it is important that people save this website to their favorites so they can rejoin us easliy.  See my own story on the subject in my previous post.  

My tech savvy is not going to earn me any money, But the way you can check and or send messages here is by clicking on that person's icon and then "send note", etc.  To view enotes from otehrs sent to you, click on your own ICON.  That is where you can ALSO begin your own journal as well, so PLEASE CONSIDER BEGINNING YOURS once you are there.  You can record your thoughts, fears, complaints, tips, victories, etc etc. there.  I regret not beginning my own until I was a couple days into withdrawal.  Not thinking to well I guess.  Oh well.  

Did you ever read Emily's journal of her early recovery?   Now I am beginning to sound like an "ad man for EP, but I don't mean to sound like that"!!!  There is just so much good stuff that you really must read and this would be excellent for PG too.  

I spent my first few days rereading those entries .  So click on her ICON.  I  benefited greatly from EP's spirit displayed in those writings.  Truth be told, I seriously doubt I would have had the courage to come this far without her example as a warrior leader.  We are dealing with some pretty terrible misunderstood stuff here in TRAM.

I will continue to fight through whatever comes my way, because  in no way do I want to repeat those first few days EVER again.  MOMENT BY MOMENT, we keep doing the next best thing and with one another's help, we can berat this thing.  

Courage and strength to all  I mediate on each of those words (courage and strength) and will them your way as I conclude here.  Goodnight emergee and all.  Fred

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by boomoon, Dec 09, 2008
You're such a hoot Fred :)  I'm thankful you're able to pour it out because it's been invaluable to me, seriously.  Emily's posts are miraculous and so are yours.  

I'm in the sneezing phase now.  Minimum of 3 at a time, no more no less.  I'm also awake alot more.  Did everyone here find that you could sleep ALOT taking the devil's pill?   I also noticed that my appetite is getting back to normal and my eyes are starting to have depth to them again.  For a long time they were just there, no one home sort of.

Oh and the online resources... I DID place orders online.  They're MAJOR pushers, they send constant reminders that you are now ready for your refill.  And then started getting phone calls too.  You saw how they wanted to keep you in their claws after you forgot to add your cc info.  

I'm wishing that my fellow warriors have a good day today.  Every minute without gets you closer to yourself again.

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by chelseafan15, Dec 09, 2008
Hello guys,

I'm new here. I was reading this blog for a while now and decided to finally post. Emily is such a great character, well done Emily, you my lady, are a star. I live in the good old UK. My story in short...

I have been taking Tram for around 4 months. I've started with prescribed 3x1 a day (50mg) but eventually I got to around 5 a day. I have decided to stop 5 days ago. Today is the 5th day and I feel pretty good to be honest. The biggest problem is RLS (restless leg syndrome), strange how no-one mentiond restless arms too :)  Anyway, I found a good way to deal with this. For the first 3 days of withdrawal I didn't take ANYTHING (needless to say it was HORRIBLE) but I got so angry with myself and the notorious Tram that I decided to quit. No more online orders EVER. So to deal with the RLS I've ordered some diazepam 5mg ( same as valium). It helped immensley. I could finally get some decent sleep. I try to take it only before I go to bed. If you take it during the day, it will be more difficult to fall asleep at night. So postpone it as long as you can.

I would love to help anyone on here as you all seem to be nice people.

P.S. I conveniently forgot to mention that I was hooked on Tram 5 years ago with a pretty high dosage (up to 10 pills a day). I have a lot of experiance and if anyone has any questions I would love to help.

Stay strong!!!

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by Fireman50, Dec 09, 2008
Fred, thanks for the replies my friend. All of you were right. After day 3 it is down hill from there. I am already feeling better. I already feel like I have my life back.

Chelseafan15, you got through those first 3 days. That to me seems like the biggest step to climb. Just flush all of those pills down the toilet and don't look back. Look forward!!!

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by Mercedes175, Dec 09, 2008
Hi, my name is Mercedes.  I have posted alittle on the other boards but found this site.  I need some advice.  I want to stop taking Tramadol but have been avoiding the actually "doing it" part because I have a trip coming up on 12.23-12.27.  I have to fly and stay with family.  From the little experience I have had so far with Tram withdrawals (my mornings) I am really, really scared.  I am not sure what I have done to myself as I am not even starting tapering or anything..just the mornings are the longest I have been since my last dose and I literally feel like I can barely make it to the bathroom.  I have really, severe body aches and listnessness.

Can someone give me a status check on where I am at.  I started taking tramadols (I think) some time in September.  So I am going on 4months..  I take 8 50mg tablets a day.  Usually 2 in morning, 2 in afternoon, 2 around 5p and then another 2 around 7p - 8 tablets.

Should I be feeling this bad in mornings at this dose?  I could probably get away with 6 tabs...that last 2 is just for peace of mind in evening.

Should I quit this next w/end or wait till after Christmas. I was thinking 12/27...through end of year since work should be slow and daughter will be with my ex husband.  I atleast then have no more commitments, family and can be alone.

I also heard Clonidine helps. Was thinking of going to my doctor to get that prior to when I stop.  What I thought was to slowly taper until that w/end then jump.

Has anyone been taking about 8 pills a day for about 4months..can tell me what I can expect?  I am just way scared as I am all by myself.  My family is out of state..my ex can't do much for me.  Nobody knows.  My doctor is the one that gave me this stuff. I havent been back yet to ask for the Clonidine.  He told me this drug was not a problem. I know I will need to battle that when I go back but wanted to know what to ask for in terms of anything "he" can give me to help in the first 4 days.

I am also very concerned about the post listnessness. What I experience in mornings is a nightmare...I can only think it will get worse, right>?  Can I do this by myself?  Usually that morning episode is about 13hrs after my last dose. Any advice would be appreciated.  Lastly, if I did this before the vacation..I just fear that flying and being around family..I will need to do shopping, and helping..will not be able to veg on couch...I can't be sick around family and my daughter..that is why I would think..although I would be beyond the infamous 4 days I will still be way listless to be social.  

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by emergee, Dec 09, 2008
mercedes
    i am going to have to make this short.  i am on day 13 and my experience is the wds come back in waves.  there can be whole days where it is pretty good and then it comes back.   my take is the better thing for everyone is to have time to devote to this project.  maybe try to taper as much as you can without making yourself feeling terrible during your trip.  i am alone too by the way.  there are a couple of people who know but they don't really get it and they think i seem fine.   i am not fine.  tram makes you feel bad.   it gives you pain and health problems .  it makes you think you are falling apart and it is the only thing that keeps you going.   the listlessness is still present in waves but i promise you ,  when you do jump off ,  it is not as bad as being on the stuff.  you will go through withdrawals  and you should be prepared to suffer.   but it just isn't as bad as either tapering,   or forgetting to take your pill and you are out of the house without them and it hits.  it is oddly better when you quit.   i was on 6 to 8 pills,  tapered to 4 for 3 weeks.   i took them for a year and a half perhaps.  being scared is good,  it will get you to stop this poison.  it is a poison.  very rapidly the fear will turn to determination.  
emergee

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by shaffekl, Dec 09, 2008
Day 5.  The symptoms are still present but lesser than yesterday, which is a positive.  The lack of sleep is really starting to get to me. I am struggling with the depression in the mornings.  I have also cought a cold.  But, I am still excited to get my life back.  I know it will never be the same.  My life with my fiance was blurred by the devil pill the entire two years.  I know I love her so much, but I don't even know what life would be like with her without tramadol.    Everything I did was for her and tramadol.  It seems I countinued the abuse of tramadol to be a different person to please her.  I am excited to find myself, since I have been a substance abuser since I was 16 and now I am 28.  

All of your comments have been inspirational I thank everybody.  Fireman is right, you can't look back.  I am now doing this for myself!

Mercedes, wait until after Christmas, or start a slow taper.  That is if you want to be a productive person during Christams.  Take the time to pre-pare yourself mentally.  This is nothing to be taken lightly.  I am almost thankful my life has been flipped upside down.  I am able to lie around and be miserable thanks to my family.  I am removed from my tramadol life, forever.  I am in a different city around caring people who know what I am going through.   I still have the stressers of what the hell I'm going to do now.  But what ever it is it will be without tramadol.

Any Ideas on how to fight the depression.  Or are there any creams that can help the leg pain?

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by FinallyFred, Dec 09, 2008
Hello Fireman, Shaffeki, Mercedes,

Saw your posts from my "other" PC so had to trott back to the kitchen to post this at coffee break!  I know first hand, what a bummer it is to be struggling, scared or otherwise consumed by the affects of this nasty drug, so I had to post NOW.

Shaffeki,  You in a good groove it seems.  You amaze me.  Stay connected, work this one day at a time, and (while it is easy for me to say this) try to not get consumed by what "might have been".  Take today today and worry about tomorrow when it get's here.  I know you know this!

It is amazing to me that we can live with someone and they know we are taking this prescribed med for years and they think nothing of it.  In my case, my wife of course knew what I was on and she knew why I was taking it (chronic pain) and she even saw me go through monthly withdrawals that we have all come to know and hate.  Yet, with all that, she doesn't really GET why I have gone off this, what exactly it is like withdrawing from this stuff or why I am so wrapped up in caring for  others who are struggling like I am/have.  She'd asked regularly how I was during withdrawal and she was sweet and supportive, but frankly when would ask "how am i doing", it got rather old (for us both) for me to say EXACTLY  how I was doing...cause it wasn't pretty and it wasn't anything she really could relate to ...so I reverted to saying simply FINE.  Fine.  And frankly, no matter how much someone else loves us, unless that someone has sufferd as we have, I think it is impossible  4 us to expect they COULD feel the pain we go through.

But you know it is not FINE.  It is not easy and you know how taking another handful of pills would deliver short term relief.  STAND and FIGHT yet a little longer.  We can do this one day at a time.

For us all, yet a little longer in this fight and those things which we now fight now against will begin to fade.  Trust me when I tell you that I would rather be doing this now, after taking these demon pills for six eyars, than two years from now.  So Mercedes, if you are worried now, if possible, don't do to yourself what i have done to myself.  The addiction does nothing but get worse over time.

I recall the first few weeks that I took this stuff, I said to myself, "wow, what a miracle"  no pain.  But it doesn't take too long for this drug to get it's hooks into you and desire to keep you forever.  It will not let go easily.  And the NOTION that this drug is addictive ONLY to the weak, is LAUGHABLE.  I mean think about it, what the hell does it mean when the literative say it "works on our brain receptors"?  I have no flippin idea what a brain reception is.  But if I have one, so do you.  And if it works on your "receptor" the way it works on mine, heaven help the person who thinks they are immune from this drug taking them over.  Cause I am fairly sure that "receptors" or the effects of this drug are no respectors of people.    

Looking back, I  think there are just two kinds of people taking tramadol.  Those who admit they are addicted and those who do NOT admit they are addicted.  But the drug works on us ALL, whether we choose to admit it or not.

Looking back, I probably wish I had consulted my MD, but I didn't because I suspected that he wouldn't undertand what withdrawal is like, from this supposed harmless little pill.  But if I had a relationship with a doc who I thought might understand withdrawal, ((forget the fact that he was prescribing these for me) AND if I had the guts to tell him my plans and fears, it would certainly be of benefit to do some preperation, i.e. get some drugs lined up to address the withdrawal symptoms one certainly will feel.

So if you are as compulsive and impatient as I am, start the WAR now.  And if not now, when?  I am duly impressed by the number of folks here who are preparing for day 1 at a "yet to be determined date" .  We each must know our own selves and make decisions we each are comfortable with.  And I have not known any addict who stopped because someone else told them to do so.  

In my case, I simply wanted to jump off and start putting time between myself and my last dose.

Finally ( and I need to get back to work!) what has helped me a great deal during withdrawal has been to recognize that I DID THIS DAMN WITHDRAWAL THING REGULARLY.  Mercedes, you talked about this today re: how you feel in the A.M.   So for me, when I hurt really bad last week, I took comfort in knowing that THOSE withdrawals, would very soon be put to DEATH.  So I took comfort in knowing that the pain that I went through last week, meant that befoer too long, as lousy as I felt, as sleepless as I was, as much as I hurt, that irf I could kick this for just a little longer, I would NEVER THOSE need to be controlled by this drug again.

I apoligize for mis spelled words, no time to review before posting this mess.  Emily, where is the spell check on this monster!  HA

Gotta go for now...Fred

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by emergee, Dec 09, 2008
shaffekl,
   do you have a heating pad?  i consider that essential equipment for the leg pain and chills.  i found your post very profound.  i have this sort of naked feeling.  like i have had my skin torn off.   that is so true for me as well about taking the pill to be okay for others. and i am taking sam-e which is supposed to help depression and your liver too.  i have read great reports on sam-e.  good to hear from you.
emergee

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by Fireman50, Dec 09, 2008
I will post my extensive vitamin regiment later on when I have more time. Just to let everyone know, I am on day 4 and I feel great. I woke up at 8:30 am, took some vitamins, ate breakfast and then went to a Golf store to see if they had my clubs I want in yet. I then met my mom for lunch and after that I took her across the street to a Vitamin Shop where she spent about $200 on Vitamins, amino acids, herbal teas, and weight gain powder for my little step brother. After that I went to the grocery store and bought all healthy foods being that I am going to start working out again. I gathered up everything at the grocery store that had OMEGA 3 on the front and piled it in my cart. Right now I have to put all my grocery's away then meet some friends at the high school field for a game of football and on my way back pick up some flowers and a card for my fiance for supporting me through 2-3 days of hell. I feel like a new person and I think the vitamins and good diet have a lot to do with it.

Yes a heating pad works great for the chills and leg cramps. Trust me I know, I used one for the first 2 days. =)

BBL with the list of Vitamins.

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by shaffekl, Dec 09, 2008
Fireman Im glad to hear you had such a good day.  getting to the computer has been a struggle for me.  The depression fades as the day goes on.  The fact that that I was taking such a large amount daily make me  realize I'm going to suffer for a longer period.  I wish my fiance would have supported me but I chose to keep my relaspe a secret from her.  It was a bad choice.  The trams have had control of me for to long.  I kept my addiction from everyone I care about.  I don't understand why I have to keep running myself through the ringer.  This is the last time.  I think I am ready to accept my problem.  Fireman don't be suprised If something may trigger a feeling that It would  be alright to take a tram because you have gotten through the hardest days of your withdrawl.  Be strong the fight is not over and never will be, but each day is a small victory over the devil pill.

Fred, I understand the feeling of not wanting to express the real feelings of paiin with the ones who care so much about us.  My mother keeps asking me how I feel.  I want to say the truth that I am completely miserable but I know it breaks her hart.  So I say I feel better but, its not true I still feel sick as a dog.  Fred I am so empressed with your ability to continue to work and go on with the daily activities.  I know if I was not removed from My life I would have relasped by now.  And without the support that I have recieved here I probably would have done something drastic to get more tams.  I am slowly feeling like I too could get through the worst of it.  I also have a problem explaining to others the importance of sharing these feelings with peolple who are also suffering.  I also went throuhg the w/d symptoms regularly,  It scared me to think about not having enough trams to get me through the day.  Have the month I would spend time worrying how a was going to my next FedEx pakckage and pay ofr it without anyone finding out.  I am sick of them feelings.  Im getting my life back one day at a time.  

Please keep posting!  this has helped me so much.  

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by Mercedes175, Dec 09, 2008
Fireman50, can you please send me your list of everything you took the first 3 days?  And what times/how much of each/brand name (if you have it) so I can duplicate?  You mentioned L-theamine?  Do you mean L-tyrosine?  I heard that helps..but honestly I have only had negative experience with vitamins..they usually give me headaches..but worth it to try if it works for you.  Please tell me how much you are taking too..I went to GNC the other day and was overwhelmed..they have all different dosages..I had no idea how much to take, when, etc.

Any advice would be appreciated.  thanks.

BTW, did you take any sleep aids or anything prescribed by your doctor?

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by Fireman50, Dec 09, 2008
OK..before I get to the extensive list of vitamins, I would like to say "If at all possible stay away from prescription sleep aids, benzodiazepines (ie. xanax), SSRI's (ie. prozac) or any other prescription medication that helps with anxiety or depression."  In my opinion you may end up dropping one addiction for another. Trust me, I know from experience benzo withdraw is pure hell. OK, on to the good stuff.

I will call it "A quick recovery for Tramadol Withdraw"

-First and for most, if you can take off work for 3 days.
-Do not just stay in bed or sit inside and mope all day. Set your alarm for 8am and force yourself out of bed. Get out of the house and take a walk. Do things that take your mind off of the withdraw.
-The fallowing vitamins and food will be posted in Morning, Afternoon and Night.
-Morning
.Eat a light breakfast, preferably a Banana (it will help increase GABA levels in your brain) and wash that down with some pomegranate juice. POM juice is brain food.
.Daily Multi Vitamin
.l-theanine (increases brain serotonin, dopamine, GABA levels) in layman's terms it increases happy feelings in your brain. dose: 100mg
.Sub-Lingual B-12(gives you a lot of much needed energy) dose: 1,000mcg
.B-Complex Sustained release (helps maintain energy throughout the day) dose: B-100
.Saint Johns Wart (promotes a positive mood) dose: 300mg
.GABA sub lingual tabs (increases GABA levels in your brain) these help with anxiety and depression. dose: 125mg
.Vitamin D-3 (helps support a positive mood) D-3 is absorbed through UV rays from the sun. If anyone ever wondered why they feel down and out in the winter time, its because your not getting out side enough to absorb the UV rays from the sun. Also if you can go tanning twice a week. Tanning beds will give you tremendous amounts of D-3. I went tanning on my second day off of Tramadol and came out feeling a lot better.
-Afternoon
. Eat a healthy lunch and drink a little bit of caffeine. (coke or some tea)
.Sub-Lingual B-12
.Saint Johns Wart
.l-theanine
-Night
.Pig out on whatever you want. Eat a lot, a full belly makes you tired =)
.Saint Johns Wart
.GABA sub-lingual tab
.Vitamin D-3
. 30 min. before bed or while watching TV in bed drink 1 to 2 cups of calming, relaxing or any other herbal tea that is marketed to produce a good nights sleep.
.50mg of diphenhydramine 15min. before you want to go to bed. (helps you fall asleep)

I think I got everything.......

I heard some of you mention l-tyrosine. Yes this is a good amino-acid however it does not readily cross the blood brain barrier and cannot morph into it's last know forms of  Epinephrine and Norepinephrin without the aids of Vitamin C and Vitamin B3 (Niacin). l-tyrosine is also one of the vitamins in the sub lingual GABA tabs I mentioned above.

Try and stay away from teas or extracts that contain Kava or Valerian root. These 2 substances can give you a opiate like high and can cause relapse with Tramadol. Only use these two substances as a last resort if you cannot fall asleep with the above method.

There you go..I know it's expensive but trust me!!!! The $100 dollars spent is worth every penny.

Good luck to everyone and myself =)

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by Fireman50, Dec 09, 2008
I almost forgot....Get a heating pad too help with the leg cramps and chills. Get some bath minerals and soak yourself for 20 minutes at night time. Then get up from the bath and stand in a HOT shower for 10 min. Your skin is the biggest organ in your body and the more your pores open and the more you sweat will help get rid of those nasty toxins left behind by the medication. Also if you have a sauna available or know where one is go get in it and sweat your brains out. =). If you can afford it crank the heat up in your house to 78 deg.F if your in a cold climate. It will help keep you warm and help avoid some of those chills.

Thats it....................................I think!

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by shaffekl, Dec 09, 2008
I cant stop thinking about the relief a hadfull of trams would brng to me.  I want to sleep to night!  I havve taken three baths and still my skin is crawling.  My mindset is not as strong as it was this morning.  I feel that I am losing this balltle.  I try to get angry but it fades as the ideals of relief come to mind.  I am lucky that I have no trams on hand or I think I would have lost.  I need to get my strenght back.  The demon is fighting me as hard as it can right now.  I do want my life back but the fear of failure has come over me.  I am lucky that I am away from my normal setting.  I need to stay strong.  I think I may be having my first anxiety attack from tramadol w/d.  does anyone feel, um its hard to explain but when I move my eyes side to side I feel an tinggling throug my body and into my hands that feel like an electric shock.  I accpected weird fealings but not this intense.  I could use a benzo but have no access.  

I feel so alone, should I coonsider calling a hotline or something.  Does anybody feel this way?  

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by madtram, Dec 09, 2008
Shaffekl you are not alone, you have all of us here & I guarantee you this will pass.   I came off a five year habit, five months ago, then developed chronic fatigue syndrome but finally it all washed out.  Try everything that has worked for others, especially follow the Thomas recipe.

Sleep was the longest hold out for me. The not sleeping freaked me out so much, I resorted to Lunesta which did work, but I have to say that it didn't provide the restful normal sleep I have now & overall I think it delayed & complicated my recovery.  Maybe try a sleep med for a few nights just to get past the worst.  Staying with natural day/night rhythms as much as possible is helpful to reset your body clock & also helps you feel more like a normal person than being awake while everyone else is asleep.  Get out in the early morning sun whenever you can manage it.

Re the anxiety, in addition to L-theanine, I found mega doses of Inositol, (just plain inositol, not IP-6), very helpful.  I took 6-8 grams, yes grams, twice a day.  It doesn't build up in your system & there are plenty of studies of these mega doses with no recorded side effects or overdoses.  St John's Wort is also great for depression & anxiety.  You can take all three of these together.

Hang in there, there will be more encouragement when the people on your side of the world are back on-line.  It's only lunch time here in OZ.
Michelle

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by Fireman50, Dec 09, 2008
Shaffekl, get up tomorrow and go out and get the vitamins I listed. Trust me they will help you tremendously. In your case I would go ahead and recommend you get both Herbal Teas that contain Kava extract and Valerian Root. They will help with your sleep. TRUST ME FRIEND.....I did extensive research into each and every one of those vitamins. You will feel 20 times better within 2 days of fallowing my regiment.

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by suzipen, Dec 09, 2008
Hi all.......Been reading for entries for the last hour or so. I feel compelled to share.
First-to shaffekl...PLEASE hang in  there!  I have had panic and anxiety for most of my life, and YES it was worse going thru w/d.   For the first few days I had the same "electric shock" feelings. I am assuming this is the antidepressant part of w/d from tram.    Also, it is very common to feel tingly thru out your body prior to the onset of a panic attack. I know you want your life back, and you will get it back.  This stupid drug makes you question yourself soooooo much, but you know deep down that you are stronger than this little white pill. WE ALL ARE!  or we wouldnt be on this forum.

You are not alone......I felt exactly like you are feeling now, and I know it is hard to believe, but it will pass.
I am on day 19, and although I still struggle with anxiety, I feel so much better than in those first days.
I have alot to say and ask, but I want to respond now  to you shaffekl.  I know its been awhile since you posted, so let me know if your o-k.
Sincerely-suzi


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by shaffekl, Dec 09, 2008
To all, the panic has passed.  Thanks for the responses because I no longer feel so alone in this battle.  The w/d can get so darn intense.  Each minute seems like an hour.  It is 11pm and I cant sit still and I'm to weak to move.  My mother has some melitonin has anybody tried this for sleep.  I am back on track.  I have avoided the strongest counter attack from the demon pill.  I never want to feel this way again.  I have taken immodium on a 4 hour cycle, should I lay back?  I want to be happy and start a new life with out the trams.  Fireman since mylife has been flipped upside down and have no income coming in at this time, what would be the most important vitimans do you think are the most important because i must steal to get anything, joking.  but really i have little money. thank you all so much and god bless

I feel stronger!

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by suzipen, Dec 09, 2008
Hello again- I am soooooooo amazed at the people on here.
It is very helpful to have this site to go to any time day or night.
  Like I said, I am on day 19, and for the most part, dont feel too bad. It comes and goes (depressive thoughts tend to stay). I just read about the tanning bed!  I am in the skincare business so I have avoided tanning for a while now.  BUT, now I have an excuse to go tanning Yea!!!
I am still experiencing some major stomach distress however. I am sooooooo bloated all the time. yuck!! my belly hurts to touch it , and I look pregnnant (I'm not).
I have also gained 12 lbs. from the last day I took tram. Thats a lot in that short of period. Anyone else dealing with weight gain?
Now for my ramble.......As I was tapering, my husband was happy to see me doing so, and then when I took my last one , he was even happier. He couldnt wait to get his "pre-tramadol" wife back.
He was so excited to get back to normal after 5 years of living with an unpredictable, moody, unaffectionate person.
Well. as we all here know, it doesnt happen overnight.
By day 4 or 5 (cant remember)- he just couldnt understand why I wasnt completely changed, and ready to jump into bed(yes, our s**life was practically non existent while on tram)......etc.etc.   It was very difficult to make him understand just how awful I felt, and still do to a degree.  I was watching celebrity rehab on t.v. today, and he made the comment that I couldnt really be an addict because I didnt act as crazy as some of those people, nor did I shoot up.
Lets see- I was taking 3 times my prescription, lieing to people etc.....you guys know what an addict is. But it can be very difficult when your trying your very hardest to NOT take pills, and your spouse just looks at you like "oh honey, you'll be fine, it cant be that bad"
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
It is that bad!!!  And then its worse. and then its better. and then its worse again.
For 5 years I was unpredictable, moody and unaffectionate.  Now I am still all those things but with a clearer mind. I now KNOW I am all those things and am ever so slowly changing.
Like Emily has talked so  much about- the fog is lifting. I see things differently, I feel things differently.
I guess I wanted him to be proud of me for stopping, but after I stopped, he started dwelling on the last 5 years of so-called he**  he has lived with.
WOW-I didnt realize it was that bad, but like I said, the "fog" is lifting.  I actually thought the pills were making me a better, funnier person.  And we all know what a lie that is. The big tramadol hoax.
Anyways- I never thought about this part of recovery.
The Aftermath.       I dont hear a lot of people talk about it. Now I feel like I have to make up for 5 years, and thats a lot of pressure.  I know I can only move forward, and be the best I can be today, but I still carry lots of guilt.
I am trying hard everyday to make a diference. But ya know, somedays you just dont feel like it.
I can picture how I want my life to be, but lack the motivaton to get there.  
I dont want to give someone struggling the idea that it doesnt get better because it does. It gets way better!   And nothing
is worth going backwards.
I just wanted to share, as Emily helped so much early on and still is. Thanks to the rest of you as well. Fred, your posts are incredible. Thank you.

Hopefully Goodnight to all,
Suzi
































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by FinallyFred, Dec 10, 2008
shaffekl - So much has happened here the past 24 hours that I have spent the past houror so, just catching you with your progress.   I applaud Suzi's encouraging words and it sounds from your most recent post, that things may be settling down for you.

But if you haven't put any tram into your system in 4-5 days now, the worst should soon be behind you.

So three baths tonight so far eh?  

By now, it should be clear to anyone reading these posts that I am not the "guy" to see about the chemical analysis of the latest and greatest products to help in this withdrawal thing.  BUT I AM A BIG BATH GUY, so you got my attention.  I don't take baths on a  regular, normal basis, but for medicinal purposes, I'm all over it.  TMI?  They helped me tremendously last week when the creepy crawly zapper painful feelings had me going nuts.    

Here's the REALLY crazy thing about this withdrawal, if you were addicted to this bad boy the way that I was for six years, it seems fair to say that we either had: (1) a really steady online supply and never experienced monthly withdrawal, or (2) we experienced withdrawal on a monthly basis.  As in, take the first three week's supply of t in the first two weeks and then withdraw as we "tapered" duing the later part of the month.  (Geez, I don't think that I ever thought of what I did in the later part of every month as "tapering" before.)    

I guess my point is that I knew the joys of withdrawal LONG before I decided to quit on my own terms this time.  Part of what got me though the last part of nearly every single month during the time BEFORE I went cold turkey last week, was BATHS.  And Shaffekl - my record  is SIX baths in one night.  So you best grab a handful of towells, take a bath tube toy in with you and get back in the tub.  Because by my count, you STILL have four more to go tonight if you want to beat my record!  

Seriously, don't give up before the miracle happens for you, OK?

Fred

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by FinallyFred, Dec 10, 2008
Suzi,  You have raised some VERY valid and interesting issues regarding "the aftermath" or the "family afterward" type stuff.   I had prepared a fairly lengthy response, but I did something silly and *poof*, I lost it.  Maybe it's just as well that it went *poof* or I  might be banished to some other MedHelp site dealing with things other than addiction (TO DRUGS) !

I suppose if I am unqualified to render advice on which vitamins to take to assist in one's withdrawal, I have no business offering advice on the impact of tramadol on our relationship with our spouses.  Suffice it to be said, I DEFINATELY do concur with your thoughts and concerns here.

OK, I am winding up again... I too must confess that this drug made me unpredictable, moody, and an unaffectionate person as well while I was on it.  And I think it would be fair to say that the affect on men goes well beyond the emotional mood thing too.  Definately not gods' gift to  sexual health and relationships to be sure.  (did I  do OK so far in the discrete category?)

I think we all do need to be gentle with ourselves.  In this area too, the key is progress not perfection.  And I have never been a big proponent of guilt.  As far as I am concerned, no good thing ever came about as a result of attempts to make someone else change their behavior by "virtue" of guilt.

I seriously doubt that anyone who has never been addicted to a drug such as tramadol, GETS what it was like for us, how miserable it was to get off it, or possibly on the ongoing impact of our past use on current relationships.  And that would include doctors, friends, and spouses.   This is not to say that our doctors, friends, or spouses do not care a great deal about these things, it is just that too often, they didn't get what it was like while we were using it, they didn't appreciate what it took to get off it, and I am not altogether sure they realize that  recovery is more than the 4 days of "hard time" it took BEGIN our recovery, yet just a day at a time.

It is probably incumbant on us all to eventually sit down and have a heart to heart with our loved ones IN OUR OWN TIME...I suppose...  

Possibly someone else has a better idea on some of these things...but we do need to be a bit discrete here I think.  

Oh, and the weight gain?  I was thinking of bath tubs, so I just stepped on the scale and indeed, I have gained six pounds in 8 days.  YIKES!  I heard discussions about weight gain before, but I pretty well blew it off.    Now I suppose I'll need to join another MedHelp website for overweight people if i can't get a handle on it.  Thanks for calling these things to my attention - I think...

Fred

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by Fireman50, Dec 10, 2008
Shaffekl, I would say the most important vitamins to get are:

1. B12 Sub lingual Tabs.
2. l-Theanine
3.GABA Sub lingual Tabs.

Also you mentioned one of the vitamins I forgot. (MELATONIN). Yes it will help you sleep. You don't have to buy it since you already have it. Try to drink some sleepy time herbal tea and take a couple Tylenol PM's. Unisom is a over the counter sleep aid that works better than Tylenol PM if you want to go out and get some.

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by shaffekl, Dec 10, 2008
I am actually feeling better today.  The night was bad, but once i fell asleep I slept for about four straight hours.  This is huge for me.  I really hope todays continues you t be a little more pleasant than the last 5.  I feel that I could get out of the house today.  to do what I don't know yet.  probably get these vitamins that fireman has mentioned.  

I have personally not gained any weight yet.  Then again I havent had the strenght to eat.  

One day at a time!

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by doomfrog, Dec 10, 2008
So today is day 7 for me.  I slept last night from 11:00 until 5:30 this morning so I feel fabulous.  I took a yoga class last night that I haven't taken since my back started bothering me in May.  This instructor is so hard that I actually swore out loud in class the first time I took it.  Not very "yoga" of me.  I managed to work all day yesterday, went to school and dropped off a final, went to the class from 7:30-8:30 came home and ate a tortilla with some cheese.  Watched a CSI with the husband, then took a shower, the 2 Arrested Developments then bed.  I did take the lowest does of carbidopa for my pre-existing RLS, but I one day would like to not take that either.  

I stumbled upon this site while trying to find out if my doctor was correct that "my dosage was too low and was taking it for too short a time to experience any withdrawal symptoms."  The resounding response from everyone was, "You are not crazy!"  You have no idea how hearing that can just make me feel better.  I handle mental stress very well, but if something is not right with my body I go into complete panic mode.  So feeling like this compiled with the fact that I still have a job to do, finals this week, my mother is visiting tomorrow and I have a craft show this weekend, made me completely lose it.  When my doctor suggested that I go back on and then taper, I sort of thought, "Well, this isn't a really good time for this.  Maybe that is what I should do."  But if not now, when?  Is it ever a good time to feel debilitating sickness?  And for me, really, what a better time?  Sure I have finals, but as my husband has explained to me, "Even if you just completely phone it in, you will still pass the classes.  Calm down.  As long as you get credit, that's all that matters."  My mom is coming but I have 5 days in a row off of work.  And plus, sometimes when you don't feel well, it's nice to have your mommy around.  This means I'll be able to get fresh air and sunshine (well as much sunshine as you can get during December in Portland).  

For those of you who don't know my story, here it is.  My affair with Tramadol has been brief.  I injured myself in a snowboarding accident in February.  It was a head over heels fall and I injured my ankle which is pretty difficult to do in snowboarding boots.  I was given Vicodin for the ankle injury which healed by April, but the back pain soon followed.  It was probably a combination of the fall with being on crutches for several weeks.  I worked through it to the end of May, but I was unable to exercise, which is unacceptable to me.  I also try not to drive when I don't have to and even walking around the neighborhood was causing me pain.  So I went back to the doctor who referred me for PT and prescribed more vicodin.  So I took that from May unitl September when I asked for a non-narcotic.  Enter Tramadol.  I was taking 100 mgs 2 x per day.  Occasionaly 50 mgs mid-day if I had a rough workout or something.  I did not feel "addicted."  I wasn't ordering of the "interwebz."  I was just taking it as prescribed.  My back stopped hurting so I stopped taking it.  I took one pill last Thursday morning as a "test" to make sure my back really was well and didn't need it that night so I didn't take it.  By Friday afternoon I was shaking and sweating and couldn't stop moving.  Day five (Monday) was by far the worst.  I prayed for death a million times.  I had to call my husband to come home from work to help me.  My doctor suggested the taper and that was the breaking point for me.  No more!

For those of you out there doing this, I got through yesterday, Day Six with little incident.  I even managed not to cry even once.  I slept last night.  I am now having "brain zaps" similar to what I had when I stopped taking Effexor, but those are bearable.  What is bad for me now is the anger that I feel.  I almost feel like it would be less anger inducing if I really HAD a serious problem.  I'm not saying that any of you out here who have an actual mental addiction to this drug have a choice in the matter.  Addiction is a disease and should be treated as such.  But as someone without a mental addiction problem, it would have been my CHOICE to pick up more medication and take more of my recommended dose to get high or even just feel normal.  It is the fact that I thought I was being a compliant patient and doing what was best for me that makes me the most angry.

To those of you out there who are still actually in pain and are doing this, I am amazed by you.  You all seriously are my new heroes.  Emily, even though I have not posted on this previously, know that your journal entries have been a great inspiration.  Your dedication to kicking your habit after so many years, while still in pain, is simply awe inspiring.  So is your ability to write so eloquently about your experience.  I don't think this is the end of my struggle, but I just want to give a big thank you to all of you out there who have been strong enough to get through this and find strength in others.  Thank you for never dismissing my concerns by telling me that "I'm not a real addict" and that I should get over it and that other people have it worse than I do.  After 7 days, I feel like a veteran who call tell those out there on Day 3 or 4, that it will get better.  It might get worse before it gets better, but once it does it is worth it 100%.  

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by Fireman50, Dec 10, 2008
Frog, your situation was similar to mine. I am no longer in pain from anything so it made it easier for you and I too quit. Your words were very inspirational. I'm lucky being I noticed I was addicted to Tramadol after 4 months and not 4 years. I think the short length of time I was on it considerably shortened my withdraw symptoms big time. Even though I was taking 8-11 50mg pills a day, my withdraw was short and not as bad as some others described. I also think the vitamins I took had a big part in the healing process. After getting off the Tramadol, all I want to do now is get back into the gym, eat healthy, put my weight back on and just live my old life. I am almost there!

GL to you and remember....................... stay away from the Tram =)

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by FinallyFred, Dec 10, 2008
Lunch time means I can get back here with my friends...

PHYSICAL ADDICTION:  This drug is PHYSICALLY  addictive.  Why does anyone of us have such drastic PHYSICAL withdrawal symptoms, when, Frog, as you so beautifully/accurately  described,  "I was shaking and sweating and couldn't stop moving.  Day five (Monday) was by far the worst.  I prayed for death a million times".  NOPE, if this drug was ONLY mental and not physical, nobody would be experiencing such DRASTIC PHYSICAL symptoms, as those you have described.     I felt these withdrawal symptoms every time I cut my daily dose down at all.  "Tapering" is no picnic either.  I know.

TOLERANCE:  Our bodies build up a tolerance to the drug, such that the longer you take this medication, one finds that the same amount, no longer keeps the user feeling "not unwell"  I like that phrase, "not unwell", because I never did feel well in all the years that I took the drug.  The best I can muster to describe how the drug made me feel, is that it usually made me feel..."NOT UNWELL".  

So over time, regardless of the dose you are taking, eventually the body builds up a tolerance to that amount of the drug.  In other words, that amount, no longer makes you feel NOT UNWELL.  

SOOO, what long term patients who are preseribed the drug like me did, was to take more of the drug when I had it, to overcome the tolerance that my body had developed over the years.  So instead of taking the prescribed 8 - 50 mg pills/day, I took say 10/day when I had them (EARLY in the RX cycle).  So by the end of the month, I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms like the ones so abptly described on this site.    And I thank God that I never ordered online, cause I SERIOUSLY DOUBT I WOULD BE OFF these today if I had gone there.  ( I told that story some days back)

And the doctors do not seem to understand "tolerance", they aren't about to increase your dose to account for it, and frankly they lack any understanding of what withdrawal off this evil dug is like.  I know.   I asked my ortho surgeon about this two weeks ago and she confessed she did not know anything about what withdrawal from this drug is like.  

I have heard from people who become physically addicted after just one week on tamadol.  They stop taking it and WHAM, they are shaking, sweating, aching, not sleeping, and they can't figure out why.  I have someone  I deeply care about - who is taking tramadol.  This person has been taking them for OA for six months and taking only 5 pills/day...and there is not a chance in HELL that any amount of advice from me will convince her that she have could have developed a physical addiction to the drug.  

I don't recommend this lightly, but the best way for a person to see whether they have formed a physical addiction to this drug is to stop taking it for 48 hours and see how they feel afterwards.  If anyone were to tatke that simple "test", I am fairly sure they will be looking for help.  

BUT SADLY, WE KNOW THE TRUTH.   And yes, I get anry when I think about how this pill is prescribed as the "non-addictive" alternative to narcotic drugs.  One Sunday night, we will turn on 60 minutes, and Scott Pelle will be talking about this problem.  

It is a good thing that we have one another to help OVERCOME our common physical addiction to tramadol.  I haven't had the time, but I really want to investigate/reasearch  more about the history of this drug, what studies have been done, and why it is that this thing is so available and unscheduled.

And Shaffekl,  after my blabbering last night about baths, guess what?  For the first time in several days without having "pins and needles" in my feet, when I went to bed last night, those symptoms returned.  Must be the random nature of this recovery some have spoken off.  I was so sure I was past that after nine days off tramadol  So I couldn't sleep (again) and I resorted to a soak in the tub at 2 a.m.  

Focus/Concentration:  For the most part, my attitude is that I just need to keep pushing and plow through my work.  I expect a great deal of myself and on a good day, I rarely accomplish everything that I set out to do.  So when I returned to work on Monday, I left the "victim" cloak in the closet and determined to plow through work as usual.

But I am finding that it is harder to read, focus, analyse, and pull the pin on big decisions at work.  I am finding myself talking more and accomplishing less.  So the work piles up.  But I'll just keep taking THAT aspect of recovery one day at a time too ...just like you guys are teaching me to do.

Fireman,  thanks for sticking around and sharing.  We need you.

Mom won't recognize the neighborhood the next time she logs on.  The place is EXPLODING with a great number of meaningful posts!!!  Keep em coming.  Fred


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by suzipen, Dec 10, 2008
Hello all-
I would like to apologize if I offended anyone with my straight talk about side effects I experienced while on tram.
It was late last night, and It felt good to vent somewhat. sorry, I  will be more discreet next time.

I also wanted to respond to some comments about tramadol being a mental addiction only.
I ,too, took tram as prescribed for 1 year, for chronic endometriosis. The pain became overwhelming, and tramadol was the only SAFE drug I would take. I thought I was being a "good patient"as well. Had no intention of taking it to get high at first, but that turned into a perk for me.
When the pain started getting worse, it made sense to me and my dr. to raise my dosage. So we did.
Well, then that dosage didnt work any longer either, so I raised it myself.    
(I did resort to the internet, of which I am not proud) At this point I was taking the drug so I wouldnt feel the side effects of NOT taking it. I will be honest, however, YES it did make me feel good when I would raise my dose, but that "feeling" is very shortlived. Then it became a battle just to try to feel normal and get thru each day. I have 3 children, and that is a 24 hr. job. As we all know.

I think ANYONE who manages to get off this drug is a HERO!!

EVEN THOSE WHO ARE NOT STILL IN PAIN OR NEVER WAS IN PAIN TO BEGIN WITH!

I still live with the original pain I have had for 20 years, and the only way to get rid of that is to have surgery, and that thought scares me..............because what will they give me for pain after surgery????

To Fred- you make such powerful statements, and I thank you once again.

Good luck to everyone fighting this battle- no matter the reason you started!

Suzi


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by doomfrog, Dec 10, 2008
Suzipen,

I hope you didn't misunderstand my comments.  Of course I understand that this is not a mental addiction!  That was my whole point.  It is obviously physical.  Now that it is nearly out of my system and I am not in pain, I don't feel any compulsion mentally to take the medication.  It was simply a means to an end for me to feel in less pain and my body developed an addicition.  I just meant that I might feel less angry about it if I DID have a mental addiction.  I know that isn't exactly rational.  I think that because I'm not a person who is prone to addiction I would have somehow had a choice in the matter.  Sometimes I just find it easier to blame myself than anyone else.  I feel like I have more control that way.  For people who have addiction issues, I assume that the choice is less clear and most times, not a choice at all.  Anyway, sorry if I offended you.  To say that this is "all in our heads" was certainly not what I meant at all.

DF

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by suzipen, Dec 10, 2008
DF,

I really think I can relate to you as I have always prided myself on being in control of my life. It was extremely hard for me to admit that I was not in control anymore, and eventually that was what led me to stop taking it. This is actually my second time around . I got off a around 2 years ago, and was fine for a few months. But then WAM, I thought I was strong enough to just take one. Thats how easily it started again for me. So, I have now admitted and resigned myself to the fact that I am not in control when it comes to this drug.
And yes, I am angry too. Angry with myself for not being strong enough, angry with the drug companies who lie to the dr.s, angry with the dr.s who dont take the time to research a drug before prescribing it..............and fearful that I will want to take it again, and I wont be strong enough to resist. Even tho I know firsthand the really awful w/d, and the veil that it ever so gently lays upon you, fooling you into thinking you feel better taking it.
You are right. It is a choice, but for some people (like me) that choice becomes very unclear.

Anyway- no offense taken, I hope I didnt offend either.
We are all here to support each other and to learn from one another, and CONGRATS on making it thru day 7!
Thats a whole week, and I know it feels good to say that.

Sincerely, Suzi



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by shaffekl, Dec 10, 2008
The idea that you could quit for anybody but yourself is a mistake.  Thats what I did the first time I went through this with norco.  We all have different stories but were all here for one reason and that is to win this war against the devil pill.  Its a war to regain ourselves from the overbearing power of this drug, physical and mental.  I said I felt better this morning but now the aches, pains, guilt have all returned.  I have to spend all my energy fighting these withdrawl symptoms.  This is it now or never.  Like I said before I lost my fiance, my job and my apartment all because of the tram.  This is a fight for my life. And you all have help me so much.  I care so much for everyones recovery.  One day at a time.

Fireman, I did get the vitamins you recomended and look forward trying them and letting others know how it helped.

Fred,  is tramadol going to be on 60min for real?  

Please, keep posting this has been the best thing for my recovery!



  

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by doomfrog, Dec 10, 2008
Hang in there Shaffeki.  I have to say I feel fantabulous this evening.  Another final exam down.  One to go.  I can't believe this but this coming off of this has made me a little more low key.  I found myself calculating the grade I needed to get to get a C in the course.  A C.  I am an aim for the sky kind of girl.  Anything less than an A has me in the fetal position for a full hour.  But after this, I just kind of have a little more perspective.  I graduate with a C or an A.  It doesn't matter.  Very few employers ever ask for a transcript.  Besides, I'm 30 freaking years old.  I have a job, it pays well.  If I do this for three more years or 20, it doesn't really matter.  I love my husband and my free time and my friends.  I'm not saying that this has made me a "slacker," but like I said.  I've gained some perspective.  I need to take care of number one.  I am no good to anyone if I am not healthy.  

I have been eating an a$$ ton of food over the past couple of days.  I don't know if this is because I generally eat a low carb diet, but all I want is bread.  And cheese.  And maybe gummy bears.  Oh, and today I wanted a root beer float.  But whatever, a few weeks of eating whatever I want isn't going to make that big of a difference if it gets me over the hump.  

I went and got some I-theanine and at Fireman 50's suggestion and took some this afternoon.  I can see where it might help eventually.  I felt a little more even keeled.  However it make me feel a little bit like my internal thermometer was broken.  Like my insides were cooking or something.  But that could have just been the completely unpredictable office thermostat.  I got some 5HTP which was already on my list at the suggestion of my aunt.  She was a 20 year alcoholic and checked herself into rehab 4 years ago.  She was told it was a medication free rehab and when she found out she was being fed Ativan with her supplement she walked out.  She went home and did it on her own and has been sober ever since.  Anyway, I'm going to take some tonight.  I'm about to lay down for the watching of the Netflix, so I'm going to try some of the Haydens Restful Legs.  

Have a good night everyone.  Hang in there!  It truly does get easier.  There is an eventual normal.  Even if it is a new normal.  

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by FinallyFred, Dec 11, 2008
Shaffekl, Sparky, Frog and Suzi,  I SURE LOVE YOU GUYS.    

I poped in late this afternoon from my work PC to read the posts and AM NOW following up on your streams.  

WOWIE WOW WOW!  

I am impressed by how you guys HAVE GONE out of your way to be careful with one another's feelings and to clarify things said.  For a bunch of recovering addicts, we are alright! :)  I also really applaud how everyone is working together on our common addiction to TRAMADOL.  Beautiful.

The reality is -  regardless of HOW we GOT HERE, WHY we got here, WHAT our doctors told us before we got here,  whether we have attempted to quit  BEFORE we got here,  or WHERE be bought or drug before we got here...we are all here now with an addiction that EACH of us is working to KICK.  With the truly hellish withdrawal that is involved, joining together makes a great deal of sense.  YEAH you guys.  Reading your posts kept me clean today - thank you.

If anyone is in day 1-4, you have my sympathy AND admiration.

It's a bit troubling however, to consider all of the people who either have no idea they are addicted, or who are unable to get help.    One of the things I am most curious about is the amount of "trafficing" or sales if you will, that takes place online in the USA and/or around the world.  I would never judge someone for buying tramadol ANYWHERE  but I do get upset at how easily it is pushed at the unsuspecting public online.  This drug seems to be America's dirty little secret.  Nobody talks about it, nobody objects, and apparently, nobody cares.  Imagine how many people are hooked on this stuff RIGHT NOW?    When one considers the # of online sites making MILLIONS from which to purchase this drug, the potential for a REAL health care crisis involving tramadol seems enevitable....eventually.    

In the 1940s and 50s, "thalidomide was a drug used regulaarly  in the treatment of leprosy. Thalidomide was also prescribed to expectant mothers to treat morning sickness, anxiety, and insomnia. A DECADE later, the Food and Drug Administration took the drug off the market after more than 10,000 babies exposed to thalidomide in the womb were born with severe adverse thalidomide birth defects including serious malformations and limb deformities.   I am old enough to have had some of those people in my school and it was SAD SAD SAD.  That stuff was horrible, yet after seeing babies born without arms, legs, etc. -   it took the FDA over a decade to pull it from the market!   Which brings us to Shaffekl's Q.

Shaffekl, you asked, whether "tramadol is going to be on 60min for real"?  Well how about this, if I have anything to say about it, it will be one day.  But I have no knowledge as to whether CBS plans to run a story about this on  60 Minutes any time soon.    Wouldn't it be great though if it was EXPOSED  on National television?  I guess what I meant to say before was that it NEEDS to be exposed.  

I have seen FAR less provocative stories told with a whole lot less IMPORT being aired on the show.  The problem is, someone needs to make a credible case for the abuse that is happening with this drug.  And they'd probably want to interview someone and have someone to be in front of the camara.    I'm not those guys either but I would like to one day at least put together a credible case to substantiate the abuse and horrors that are going on involving the drug.  But like I have said before, my battle TODAY is a great deal more personal.

Quitting for Others?   Frog, you put it so well when you said, "I need to take care of number one.  I am no good to anyone if I am not healthy".   I TOTALLY agree with you.  It is hard enough quitting for myself.  I wouldn't stand a chance trying to do this for ANYONE else.  

I am still cracking up over Suzi's signoff last night, when she declared, "Hopefully Goodnight to all".  After  my "flare up" of foot pain last night my teasing you, Shaffekl about your BATHS...I think I'll just slide out quietly tonight.

Warm Regards, Fred

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by shaffekl, Dec 11, 2008
Fellow warriors,  this is day 7 and I feel a little bit better everyday.  I actually slept more than 3 hours last night.  I eally think the vitamins fireman told us about help me relax a little and sleep.  The flashes of w/d still come but not nearly as intense.  I find myself wanting to some more things than just lay around.  I am done feeling sorry for myself and the situation the tramadol has put me in.  I know there are hard days ahead but I'm trying my hardest to look ahead and not backwards.  Fight on!

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by doomfrog, Dec 11, 2008
I have to do my final "fake" press release for my class and have found myself just staring at the screen.  I thought I would try a little writing here to see if I can "jump start" my brain a little bit.  I was thinking of writing my PR on Tramadol being declared a narcotic by the FDA.  Our specific assignment is to write our "fantasy" press release.  But then I thought that might make me a little obsessed and also raise some eyebrows and this professor is someone who will likely provide some decent professional contacts at some point so I don't want to raise any "addict" flags.  

I had a rough night last night.  I was up at 3:30.  Mostly because my neighbors upstairs were listening to floor pulsing music for several hours for no apparent reason.  Our apartments are too small for raves, so there is no reason for techo music at 3:30 in the morning...on a Wednesday.  Wait, do people even go to raves any more?  Did I just date myself?  I took a bath.  I felt a little better and took some 5htp to see if that would calm me a little.  Hot damn did I have some weird dreams!  But I guess that means that I slept, so I won't knock it.  

I was talking to my husband this morning and posed the question of whether or not I now have to consider myself an "addict."  If your body is physically addicted, but you are not mentally addicted does that still make you an addict?  He says no.  This is what wikipedia says about addiction (hey!  it was on the internet!  It has to be right!):

"In medical terminology, an addiction is a state in which the body relies on a substance for normal functioning and develops physical dependence, as in drug addiction. When the drug or substance on which someone is dependent is suddenly removed, it will cause withdrawal, a characteristic set of signs and symptoms. Addiction is generally associated with increased drug tolerance. In physiological terms, addiction is not necessarily associated with substance abuse since this form of addiction can result from using medication as prescribed by a doctor."

So by that definition, of course I was addicted even if I didn't feel the mental compulsion to take the medication.  I don't know.  Maybe I am over thinking it.  I don't smoke, I rarely drink, I eat well, I don't do "illegal" drugs so I am still not able to get over the fact that I was able to be addicted.  Is this annoying everyone?  I'm not passing judgement, I'm just trying to understand the mechanism of addiction and I clearly do not.  Heck, I'm in college.  Maybe I'll take a class as an elective.  Maybe I should just look at it as "I don't have an addictive personality, but my body is prone to addiction."  But maybe I do have an addictive personality?  Before the back pain, my drug of choice was exercise.  Pretty square of me, I know.  It isn't a weight thing.  As a matter of fact, I'm actually overweight.  I have lost some weight and did a little dance when the Wii Fit said, "That's overweight!"  rather than "That's obese!"  Granted, the Wii Fit's grasp on obese is tenuous at best. Oh and it didn't make my stupid little character any smaller, so she is still all puffy.  Grr...  At any rate, there was something not right with my day if I didn't exercise.  Addiction?  Perhaps.  Maybe I just traded one for the other and now I will just go back to my other albiet healthier addiction.  Which will probably be good for a few weeks or so while I get this "I only want bread and gummy bears and root beer floats" thing out of my system.  

Well, I think I have the creative juices flowing now.  I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be.  I'm sorry about my obsession about figuring out WHY.  I know that regardless of our situations or our reasons, we are all in similar proverbial boats right now and I take comfort in that.  I hope everyone is well on their way to discovering their NEW AND IMPROVED normal and that it brings you comfort.

DF

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by Fireman50, Dec 11, 2008
Sheffekl, I'm so glad to hear that I was able to provide some information that helped someone out. I don't expect to make a difference with everyone's situation but it feels good being able to help at least 1 person. After 2 more days of the vitamins I suspect you will feel almost as good as new and you should be sleeping more than 6 hours a night. Keep us updated.

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by Fireman50, Dec 11, 2008
Doomfrog, just to let you know I had some of the craziest dreams I ever had after stopping Tramdol. I still have a lot of dreams but as time goes on they become less wierd and are few and far between. I believe it's because while we are sleeping our brain is working hard to get back to normal without relying on a pill to increase DOPA, GABA and Serotonin levels for it. So in a way I guess the weird dreams are a healthy sign of your brain working hard to get back to regulating itself.

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by EmilyPost, Dec 11, 2008
Ok super crazy busy at work and I have missed class ....

Crazy economy and out of control $$ and stress and OMG ... seriously. No wonder I was on drugs DOOD! ACK!!!

Someone asked me if my brains were back. Yeah. My brains are back. Both sides. Feels like 100 years since I took Tramadol ... devil drug ... (insert many swear words)


Fred writes to Fireman ...., "Finally, you said that you were glad that (you) "found this website because it has shown me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it gets here in time for Christmas".   Before responding to that one, do you mind if I ask "which Christmas" you were asking about - 2008 or 2009?  MY SICK ATTEMPT AT HUMOR MY FRIEND!!!   Seriously if you stay on the path that you have begun, you will be doing marvelously well by later this week.  Try and write to let us know how you are doing.

Ok that was just freakin hilarious Fred!

By the way, I am sure I have never mentioned this. I love the name Fred. When I was very small, my parents finally decided I could name one of our cats. It was a black and white kitteh; female; and I named her Fred. I thought it was hilarious!! (I still kinda do) ... and she lived a very long life and had many feline babies ... so I am doomed forever to automatically like people named Fred. It's just ... a fact.  

(an aside)

Michelle .... completely not amazed that you came down with chronic fatigue after Tramadol withdrawal and I will stand y your side and kick Tramadol in the head over and over and over again for CAUSING IT. Suckosity!!

Michelle you write, "Hopefully, no-one else will have this experience but for those in the "wiped out" phase, know that it will end, even if not to your preferred schedule & when it does, don't forget to celebrate every tiny weeny achievement for a bit."

I love you! I <3 you! I less than three you as we say ... :D That made me smile Michelle ((((HUGE HUGS)))) Just loved everything you wrote.

Sue writes, "Despite the pain, the agitation (mine is not so much restless legs as restless upper-body with heart palpatations and mini panic attacks), it feels very very very good to feel the old me... probably even a better me for the strength and will we all gain from this process"

Yes, exactly what I had. Yes yes. LOL ... restless upper ody sydrome with a side dish if panic attacks.

Oh man .. panic attacks ....

Organica your taper is seriously impressive and I am so proud of you! :D (((((Sue)))


Fred I already hired an aeroplane to write, "FRED TAKES HOT ATHS" over West Hollywood! DARN IT!!

:D

Also I really needed to talk about the random freak wthdrawal ... cause no one in real life has that much patience. Not even DH!

I don't think I did anything extraordinary beyond make a journal public. Of course, in the beginning I had a bunch of "I-am-worse-ff-that-you-addicts write a bunch of silly nonsense to me ... but easily solved with a delete and BLOCK button ... even had one idiot create a screen name called "YOURATOTALLIAR"  (emmm yeah ok ..)... and luckily I was so dizzy and unable to read well that it freaking took me forever to figure out what the screen name meant and then MedHelp deleted it before I could read whatever "THEY" had to say to me. Probably the secret of life and the phone number directly to GOD! DARN IT!!!

I think mainly people do not believe Tramadol withdrawal could be "THAT BAD ..."

*rolls eyes*


Fireman! L-Theonine and amino acid I still take is wonderful stuff for super mellowness. I love it. It is also natural to green tea!

L-Tyrosine is one I could never tolerate which makes sense since I am more on the anxiety level than the depression level. It is/was/remains too "speedy" for me. But I support the use of all aminos ... you can look up amino acid recovery thru a link here called ... prolongued withdrawal? Something like that .... it's a great bit of info and is inked in other spots in this journal ..

Be back with more ... gotta chill with my homies (the cats) and wait for DH ... maybe watch a movie and do my nails ...

Be back LOVE YOSE GUYS!!!

oh and i just skimmed and saw doomfrog having crazy dreams ... so common to Tramadol withdrawal. I had Horror Film Dreams for weeks ... lotsa blood .. lots of demonic kinda dreams ... par for the course supposedly ...

IDIOT TRAMADOL!!!

Love and healing,
Emily

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by FinallyFred, Dec 12, 2008
Emily,  I appeciated hearing your (aside) about your cat, Fred.  We have a cat named Georgie and another one, Kiggy too, but Georgie IS all boy...  One of the things that centered me last week, was to invite our big old 22 lb. female Kiggy up on my lap and give her the attention she deserves.  She is like a great big therapy/museum cat and she loves to be "mauled".  So I did and it took my attention of my withdrawl.

Oh, and I laughed upon reading  your "aeroplane" line.  I say, rent the plane, because I am about 1300 miles north of you and as old as I am, I doubt any of my close friends have "that" good eyesight to see the banner from Seattle.  But I am as serious as a heart attack when I report how many of these darned BATHS I have actually  taken every month in the waining days of each RX cycle.  I just wish people could appreciate that RECOVERY means to don't ever need to repeat the monthly agony any one.  Once and done seems to work for me anyway.  

During my monthly withdrawal, I got a little tired of bathing, towelling off, going back to bed; bathing, towelling off, going back to bed; bathing, towelling off, going back to bed;  bathing, towelling off, going back to bed; bathing, towelling off, going back to bed; and then there is always bathing, towelling off, going back to bed.  

I know that I didn't do as much tapering as I should have and I probably caused myself more pain than was necessary,   But when you get sick and tired and you can CHANGE FEAR INTO ANGER (I borrowed that from one of the early posts here) AND if you can either figure out a way to either sleep or get by without much sleep during those days 1-4, and if you develop the mindset that this truly is WAR, it is definately doable.  

Which brings me to this - the withdrawal I went through last week was terrible, but  WASN'T it TERRIBLE every single month toward the end of our RX cycles?  Each month, by the time I got to "counting pills", I was washing off my favorite yellow duckie, because it was a fair bet that I would be up and down and in and out of the tub countless times.  Nope, I won't miss this drug.

It is UNFORTUNATE that any person ever has to go through withdrawal.  But for my way of thinking, ya may as well push through four days of hell and be done with it, as opposed to revisiting it every RX cycle for month after month after month after month, etc.

If you get the chance, check out my journal entry this evening and let me know whether you think I am thinking way too hard or not?  

I keep vasilating between thinking of ways to "giving this drug the attention it deserves" TO  keeping it simple and just being available to people who are looking  to kick this thing in the head.  I know KISS works, but sometimes, I just want to do more to tell our story.  

Sweet dreams to All, I hope!  Fred

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by Fireman50, Dec 12, 2008
Emily, in regards to L-Tyrosine being to speedy for you, I think it would still benefit you greatly however, It sounds like what you need is a super low dose. Try to find 25mg of L-Tyrosine. It will lift up your mood without being all speedy like.

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by Organica, Dec 12, 2008
Hi Emily and all... going well at this end.. still slow taper, but working well.. 30mg or so  a day (it isn't an exact science as I have to empty out the powder from a capsule and divvy it up...)

I also had a wonderful cat, called Fred, when I was a little girl.  It was, however, male.  I now have two that just love the days when I find it really hard to get out of bed...

I've been using a Zen machine .. you lie down, put your feet on it and it gives you a good shaking for 15 minutes... stirs up the system and helps to motivate. (Not so popular with the cats..)

Super positive thoughts everyone,

Sue

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by roddy132, Dec 12, 2008
Hi Everyone,  My names Rod from the England and i to am fighting the demon drug Tramadol.  Presently i have reduced my dosage to 4- 50mgs a day one in the morning, lunch,dinner and bedtime.  Even though i have reduced the dosage i still have real problems with the waves of anxiety that lead to depression and the suicidal thoughts.  This drug is so complexed as to how it does affect the central nervous system. When you get the better time feelings where you think you are beating it and then suddenly you can feel the initially subtle feelings of anxiety that eventually takes you over again, this i have been having for the past 7mths to the point where you feel you are going crazy and have no control whatsoever over how you feel.  My thoughts are with all my fellow sufferers and wish you all every sucess in this daily nay hourly battle with this terrible drug


PS As in the States the Docvtors over here in the UK  know so little about this drug and that is so worrying in its self.  Hope to hear from some of you soon  Very Best Wishes Rod


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by FinallyFred, Dec 12, 2008
Rod,  I just read your post where you said,  "I still have real problems with the waves of anxiety that lead to depression and the suicidal thoughts.  This drug is so complexed as to how it does affect the central nervous system."  

I think that I could probably encourge/coach you to eventually working off this drug, but I have concerns for you if you are having suicidal thoughts right now.  Man, I would consult a medical doctor pronto bean FAST.  It is impossible for someone (unqualified) to judge what is going on so I would see my M.D. right away.

Addiction to tramadol can be beaten, but not if you aren't around.  I totally agree that many in the medical profession is sometimes not aware of the potential problems this drug can create, but we are complex people with complex histories/backgrounds and I wouldn't want to see you get into trouble by not getting the medical attention you may need right now.  

Fred

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by roddy132, Dec 12, 2008
Hi Fred Many thanks for your post.re concern  I initially did go to see my Doctor who didnt seem particularily concerned regarding the Tramadol and all he could say was increase the dosage to 300mgs a day, i came away feeling despondant but also angry that he could be so complacent regarding a patients wellbeing.  I decided to see another Doctor in the practice and she originates from South Africa where she had heard of the probs with the drug and her attitude ws so very different.  She listened and showed real concern for the way i am feeling and is helping me with the Trams prob.  Dont worry even though i have had these suicidal feelings i have noted quite a few other people saying the same thing on the forum and i have got to much to lose ie Sons Grandson etc i couldnt do this to them but sometimes it is so so difficult as you know.  Chatting to people like yourself does give me hope and strength and i want to thank you for that.  It help a great deal to know that you are not alone and there are many people feeling the same **** things your feeling  I do know i need the forum to help and encourage me to continue the battle and like i said i do take solace from all the other posts i read  Hope we can keep in contact it does help   Thanks Rod

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by shaffekl, Dec 12, 2008
Roddy, you need to remember your not alone.  trams addiction can make you feel so alone.  Does your family know what you are fighting and how you feel?  When I was keeping my problem a secret, it made me so alone. Maybe if you share your feelings with a loved one their support can help you through some of the worst of tramadol w/d.

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by EmilyPost, Dec 12, 2008
Hi Rod;

Suicidal Ideation is what I had. Meaning I had repeating thought; "I wish I were dead." It went on and on and on and not even EMDR (which is amazing with PTSD) stopped it because it was being caused Biologically By The Tramadol.

Once I stopped the Tramadol, the suicidal ideation stopped. That exact though however comes BACK if I get overwhelmed with pain, stress, or am triggered. So, it helps alot (I hope) for you to know that Tramadol is the CAUSATION of these Suicidal Thoughts.

Also, of course I am glad you saw a Doc, two Docs and told them about it.

The cycle ... you describe it so well Rod.

You write, " Presently I have reduced my dosage to 4- 50mgs a day one in the morning, lunch,dinner and bedtime.  Even though i have reduced the dosage i still have real problems with the waves of anxiety that lead to depression and the suicidal thoughts.  This drug is so complexed as to how it does affect the central nervous system. When you get the better time feelings where you think you are beating it and then suddenly you can feel the initially subtle feelings of anxiety that eventually takes you over again, this i have been having for the past 7mths to the point where you feel you are going crazy and have no control whatsoever over how you feel."

The cycle of pain and anxiety leading to depression is so awful. But I assure you, in my case, that totally scary suicidal ideation went AWAY. It was caused by the TRAMADOL.

*kicks Tramadol in the head again*

So anyhow, the Samaritans have a really nice email program in land where you email them if you are feeling suicidal and they email you back with in 24 hours.


***@****

I had years of suicidal ideation. It scared the holy **** outta my Mother and my Therapist and yeah, it scared me. But I never had a PLAN. I never thought I was going to commit suicide. It was the thoughts. Actually in my case, ONE thought. Repeating. No variation. Talk about a way to drive someone crazy!!!

There's also alot of people who are terrified to talk about Suicide or suicidal ideation. They do more harm that good. They invalidate a person. They tell you it isn't "That bad" or they tell you how to feel. Instead of listening, the word SUICIDE freaks them out so much  that they shift into a mode where they harm the suicidal ideation person speaking and make them feel more alone, scared and flipped out. BAD! But not really the fault of anyone who hasn't studied suicide and what to do ...

FIRST thing you do is ask

Rod, do you have a plan to kill yourself? Do you have the pills or a gun or a time and place that you have planned to commit suicide?

I'm pretty sure from what Rod has written that he is suffering from Suicidal Ideation.

Right Rod?

Also, it makes people who are having these thoughts FEEL better that you cared enough to ask. Avoiding that question is a mistake.

I recommend a book called "How I survived When my Brain was trying to kill me."

It is a great book about developing coping mechanisms ... which is what saves you. When PAIN is greater than the persons ability to COPE with the Pain .. suicidal thoughts can become the result and even attempts. I am not by any means making light of this subject.

I think that of course you should get off the Tramadol because in my case, it caused the suicidal ideation. It was the NUMBER ONE CAUSE ... and yes, I am REALLLLLLLY angry about that. It pisses me off that Tramadol did this to my BRAIN!!!! It really makes me angry!

Rod, what's going on with your health? In my case the Tramadol itself made the pain worse. Getting off it was the best thing I ever did for my lower back and my mental well being. I am not saying I am healed ... is but it not at a level 10 like it was when I was on Tramadol.

Of course i think you should see someone who will help you with Suicidal Ideation. A therapist or person specifically works to stop the cycle of anxiety. Merely suggesting you take more Tramadol seems like a huge mistake.

Love and healing,
Emily

Please write back Rod ... I wanna make sure you aren't sitting there making plans for your own death or anything ..........!!!!


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by roddy132, Dec 12, 2008
Hey Shaffekl & Emily,
                              Thanks so much for responding to my post.  Emily your absolutely right regarding the suicidal ideation, i really dont think i would carry it out its an irrational response to all the lousy physical and emotional feelings that Trams put you through. The physical  side is really uncomfortable but manageable ( only just ) its the emotional rollercoaster ride that i find incredibly difficult to handle. When the anxiety kicks in i can only describe it as being claustrophobic like you want to walk out the room and leave the feelings behind but as you know they follow you everywhere and its the feeling of having no control over the fear thats in your head.and being trapped.  You asked about my health, being a nurse for several years i developed back pain and so my Doc prescribed Trams as the safe wonder drug with none  or little side effects and non addictive, as us victims know is a total b---s----

I have been reading through your journal and have found it really helpful and in a way reassuring to read your progress.  You sound to be doing really great even though i know it is a constant battle, keep it up Emily. Needed to give a quick reply to reassure you i am still here ( i think ) and not ready to elevate myself onto the next spiritual level.  So many things i want to do in my life yet lol.  I suppose there is a plus for being in Trams hell and that is meeting genuine,  caring and lovely people on here.  Anyway i will post again re my progress and my love and thoughts are with you as we battle on   Rod

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by IzzWizz, Dec 12, 2008
Hi everyone

Ive been reading your stories for a couple of hours now and I think you may have saved me from having myself commited!

I have only been taking Tramadol for a month or so for back pain and sciatica. Ive been having physio which has been helping so about a week ago I decided to reduce my dose..only taking it when I had to do something that would normally cause me pain. The night I reduced my dose I think I slept for 2 hours and then at 20 min intervals every hour or so. It was truly awful. My sleep is interrupted anyway because of the pain in my leg so I just thought it was down to that and took some more Tramadol (good job huh?). Ive been feeling miserable and tearful. my head has been pounding and I generally feel like I've been beaten half to death. The sleeping is by far the worst..I think I've had about 8 hours in the last 3 days. I finally took my last Tramadol at 4am today and since lunchtime I've been feeling absolutely freaked out and like I'm bouncing off the walls. Also..I just cannot get comfortable. I was finding this really hard to understand as the pain in my leg and back has been steadily improving. After about my 6th round of tears I decided that just maybe it was something to do with the Tramadol and started searching on the net for some answers. Then I found you guys and I am eternally grateful.

I am also an RN in the UK and not only do I feel completely stupid for allowing this to happen to myself but totally cheated that nobody saw fit to warn me that this might happen to me if I took this ****! I work in a surgical ward where they prescribe this drug to alot of patients for post-op pain. I find it absolutely disgusting that nobody is warned!

I was really frightened and depressed..now I feel stupid and completely miserable. I can only hope that it will pass quickly. You guys are amazing..my story pales in comparrison :)

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by doomfrog, Dec 12, 2008
IzzWizz,

Hang in there.  Your story is very similar to mine.  Taking the medication for pain and thinking you were doing the "responsible" thing by not taking a narcotic.  Yes, you and I have it better than a lot of people.  Our addiction was short lived and physical.  But it is still no fun.  I'm on day 8 now.  Getting better and better but sleep is still illusive.  These people all know a whole lot of stuff so keep hanging around.  Take care!

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by Organica, Dec 12, 2008
Hi Rod and all,

Boy do I understand the suicidal thing... it isn't so much thinking about how to do it, but certainly the wanting to be dead.  I kept thinking that the dreadful symptoms I was having meant a terminal disease, and I would have welcomed it with open arms... In other words, I longed for a passive suicide, for something else to do it for me.
Please, Rod, follow the advice here.  I am a slow taper person, but many here feel cold turkey is the way to go.  Whichever you chose, please DO IT!  This drug completely changed my nature, my goals, my emotional, spiritual and physical well-being. That is what it does.

Doomfrog - good going! And IzzWizz. Even though I still take a very small amount of T now, sleep is a major issue. With my health issues I just cannot go without rest, so I use small amounts of valium.  I was trying to do without anything, being somewhat anti-drug right now, but at the moment I feel the end justifies the means... whatever it takes.

Much strength,
Sue

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by kevzx81, Dec 14, 2008
I'm going to start tapering off Tram soon but I have been prescribed capsules not tablets. Anyone know of any way to take half a capsule?


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by roddy132, Dec 14, 2008
Hi Kevzx81,
                 I too am taking capsules og 50mgs you can open the capsule and reduce the contents, i know this isnt an exact science but it can be done this way. All i can also suggest is start to do it now, i kept said tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow and  putting if off.  You can do it its not easy i know im still fighting the fight but it can be done, take heart from all the stories above especially Emilys journal  Best wishes Rod

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by kevzx81, Dec 14, 2008
Many thanks Roddy and DamnTram, I'll do exactly that. I'm also going to give the Doc a serious piece of my mind for giving me ZERO information on what Tramadol is and does.

Is there no legal recourse here? Don't doctors have ANY duty to inform?? Any thoughts on this anyone?

I am utterly devasted to read here how many people have been effectively robbed of their right to executive decision both through omission and outright lies.
In my coming battle I will reflect on this when I need some anger to combat the depression.

Thanks again good people.


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by IzzWizz, Dec 14, 2008
Hi everyone :)

This is my problem with it..I am a nurse, I look up every medication I take extensively and I never found anything that eluded to what would actually happen to me if I took this drug. Yes, docs do have a duty to inform..every patient needs to give informed consent for any treatment they accept. I feel so cheated..but in all honesty I don't think my doctor knows what Tramadol is all about. On the info leaflet that comes with the tablets it says 'may experience minor withdrawal symptoms including restlessness and discomfort on discontinuation of this medication'. It doesnt talk about possible addiction or habit forming or anything! The thing that disgusts me the most is the complete omission of any information about Tramadols SSRI qualities that fact that it behaves like an antidepressant! A while ago when I was doing some research about other medication I read something saying that Tramadol shouldn't be taken with Amitriptyline which is also an antidepressant, this confused me and I couldn't find any concrete reason for it. When I asked my Doc he just told me 'because you shouldn't mix too many pills' (thanks very much). Thinking about it now I should have known but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

On the upside I'm on day 3 no Tramadol and I actually managed to sleep for 3 hours straight! I woke up sweating and uncomfortable but its a start :)

Hope everyone is doing ok :)

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by shaffekl, Dec 14, 2008
this is now day 9 and the physical pains have improved greatly but the emotional aspects have worsen.  I can sleep a few hours straight but start to cry out of nowhere.  I'm not sure what is worse the emotional ups and downs or the physical pain from the w/d.   I have been off the trams for 9 days now .  Is it still to soon to start taking st. johns wart supplement.  when i was going through the physical pains it was so intense that i couldn't think about the other aspects of my emotions. now they are out of control.  i want my life back the way it was before the trams but its all gone now.  i cant get past these thoughts?  should i go talk to somebody?

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by emergee, Dec 14, 2008
i am glad to see that the all-tram , all the time, channel is still going.  i could not have made it without it.  my first day free was thanksgiving so i don't know exactly where that puts me.  i am currently desperate about bloating and gastric pain,  does anyone have experience with this?   it's really beyond belief how intense it is.


shaffekl,
    i am still having emotional stuff too.  take anything you can , i think.  my philosophy is take everything, try every suggestion.  i am taking all the anti-depressant aminos,  theanine, sam-e ,  and i am not crying all the time.  my impression is this stuff actually helps your brain heal.  

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by kevzx81, Dec 14, 2008
shaffekl/emergee
watch out for the emotional symptoms on waking up, we're especially vulnerable then and can get drawn off on a rollercoaster before getting a chance to mount any mental resistance/defence.
During my first (disastrous) attempt to quit I left post its around the house to remind myself- "Its the Tramadol talking!"
This really helped in the mornings.
Good luck brave people......


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by suzipen, Dec 14, 2008
hi emergee
I am still fighting with awful stomach issues as well. I even posted on another forum, but havent got any answers yet.
I am so bloated that I actually look pregnant by night time . Morning is better, until I start eating........then its bad.
I have had my stomach checked by dr. and they cant find anything. (catscan).  I have been taking miralax, but it doesnt do anything at all. I just took dulcolax, and hoping for some relief soon.
any ideas?

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by Fireman50, Dec 14, 2008
shaffekl, what do you mean is it to early to start taking St. Johns Wort? If someone told you you had to wait a little bit after discontinuing Tramadol, they are dead wrong. Start taking this vitamin right away. It is essential for a positive mood and will help you out with your depression problems.

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by Mercedes175, Dec 15, 2008
Emergee, I am no nutritionalist but if you are taking so many vitamins (aminos, anti-depressant, sleeping aids) that in itself (to me) would cause me to bloat.

One of my issues against the Thomas Recipee (for me)...and again I say this for me inparticular is I have always had bloating problems when I take vitamins.  Maybe it it the horse like pills that you are supposed to digest...its just not natural to take for instance 5 gigantuous horse pills in the morning in one take but some of the doseages are just that.  In my case I had bad gastric issues on just normal 2 pills a day.  My body just doesnt process it like food.  

Try cutting back alittle on some of those pills.  Just a thought.  The other thing it might be is the Klonapin?  and/or at the very least just a symptom of your body re-adjusting ?  But when I first read your post my thought was the vitamins.  

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by emergee, Dec 15, 2008
thanks for the feedback, guys.  suzi,  morning is better for me also.  so maybe its a digestion thing,  but why would tram affect your digestion?  i have tried acidopholus and also glutamine.  i just picked up boiron's gasalia.  i wanted the hyland's product since it worked so well for rls, but cou;ldn
t find it.   the boiron
s does help a bit ,  it really does.   i am going to reasearch the origins of gas and bloating.   my stomach looks pregnant. i'll stop vitamins for a day and see.  my computer is getting squirrelly, sorry.    this problem is OUTRAGEOUS.   . there is this gross burping thing that i have to every few minutes.  disgusting.  

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by IzzWizz, Dec 15, 2008
All opiate based medication and medication that behaves like opiates...ie morphine, coedine, tramadol blah blah affects the digestion by considerably slowing it down. For a long time coedine used to be given to women in labour to stop them from pooing while they were giving birth (charming!).  Lots of long term users suffer from chronic constipation and are laxative dependent. Also, alot of people suffer from awful diorrhea once they stop using. Once you stop taking the drugs it will return to normal but it will take a bit of time for things to recover. Make sure you drink lots of water and eat loads of fruit and vege and that should help.

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by emergee, Dec 15, 2008
thanks so much izz wizz.  i so like to have the fundamentals explained.


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by emergee, Dec 15, 2008
this stomach thing is definitely a late onset symptom.   i was not having these problems the first two weeks,  in fact i gained weight,  eating was a distraction from everything else.  
you know what i hate?  i hate that LIFE throws CURVEBALLS at you right in the middle of something reallly really big like withdrawal from the Tdrug.   a big big problem , just smacked me.  it certainly focused the mind,  but then i crash with the physical stuff still happening from the withdrawals.  life on planet earth .  jeeeez.
i just reread shaffekl's post on the emotional swings.  i experience it as a sort of nightmarish cast on everything.   i know my negative thoughts are my normal ones but exaggerated.   being with people who know all about the wd and accept you is very helpful.  people who don't demand anything from you... distraction is helpful.    i went to the movies and saw MILK and cried my eyes out.  i have no idea if this a super emotional movie or not but it was a blockbuster to me,  and in a good way.  
i talked to a healer on the phone that helps you let go of stuff.  he works with animals and people.  he is so sweet. i felt so much better and i swear that my brain started working much better.  he is an empath and can tell what you are feeling and that is incredibly healing in and of itself.
and i just had an acupuncture appointment.  my stomach was so bad i thought anything anything please help this agony.   i will report later if it did any good.
thursday will be 3 weeks.  today i thought that maybe tapering slowly would have been less disruptive .  oh well.   keep us posted organica.

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by IzzWizz, Dec 15, 2008
No problem :). Also I forgot to say earlier, peppermint tea can really help to reduce bloating and soothe an irritated gut.

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by EmilyPost, Dec 15, 2008
Oh I remember Day 17-22 as being horrifying gut pain.

That is when I used Immodum AD.

Yes, I spent a couple of days curled around a heating pad in a fetal position. The gut has millions of oiate receptors which react to not having Tram5dol.

Normal; but unpleasant. Hang in there Huney Bunny; it passes.

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by roddy132, Dec 16, 2008
Hi Emergee and all my fellow sufferers,
                                                      In response to your post re stomach pains which i also suffer from like many others on here.  This is  very common when taking painkiller due to the effect on Enzymes in the stomach.  The Enzyme Cyclooxygenase comes in two parts C1 being the enzyme that protects the stomach lining, helps the flow of blood to the kdneys this is the useful enzyme.  C2 the unhelpful enzyme has an influence in creating pain, swelling, inflamation etc.  When we take painkillers the painkiller blocks the unhelpful enzime C2 but unfortunately the good enzyme C1 can be affected and malfunction causing the stomach probs.  I hope this explains things ok, im no expert, and reassures you that this is a very common physical side effect of taking painkillers.  The most important thing is to be Hydrated drink plenth of fluids, water, peppermint tea as Izzwizz suggests  Take Care and hang in there Rod







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by FinallyFred, Dec 16, 2008
Tramadol Warriors - Plopping in a note to say to those activie in the fight - I think you are doing just fabulous.  Some of the complaints about stomach bloating and pain are concerning to me and I am so sorry.  

I have no experience with these things, which frankly, is why I haven't been posting as often lately.  Today is day 15 for me of life without taking tramadol and from the sounds of things, while the majority of pain/symptoms have subsided, I'll be on the lookout (thanks!) for stomache concerns and the random return of other symptoms.

Is there just no "receptor" in the body that this lousy drug doesn't glob onto?  

Fred

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by emergee, Dec 16, 2008
roddy,  
    does it come back all on its own?  the enzyme?  can i help it come back?   i had some iced diet coke which i do not recommend.   bad bad bad.  acupuncture truly did help.   i'm going to stick to hot tea from now on.  on the drive from las vegas to st. george i heard on npr a segment about tea.  the british still drink more tea than any other country.  even more than india? amazing.  
     i am travelling ; and i'm whipped.  just annihilated.  still the rat poison is affecting me.
thank you so much for the comments , all.

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by emergee, Dec 16, 2008
i started to taper,  okay , it wasn't that slow,  but it was so crystal clear that the stuff is poison,  that i just had to get out of my body asap.   i think now perhaps it would have been better to taper.  i believe i read someone here when i first started,  that had finished tapering and jumping off was no big deal at all.  could be...

something else,  you start to realize that your personality has changed.  i was super irritable and harder.  i didn't really know it.  i thought i was in a bad mood all the time because of my divorce,  but it was the rat poison.

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by IzzWizz, Dec 17, 2008
Hello All :)

Emergee, those enzymes will recover as soon as you stop taking the particular painkillers that cause them to be inhibitted. Also, if you are taking cox inhibitors (ibuprofen and other non-steroidal inflammatory drugs) long term it might be an idea to ask your doc for a specific cox 2 inhibitor like celecoxib or rofecoxib because this will cause much less irritation then a general inhibitor that affects cox 1 and cox 2 like ibupfrofen (i believe you call it advil?). Celecoxib is rare in the UK since they are expensive and the government is mean but you shouldn't have any problems changing if that is your problem :)

Hope your poor stomach gets a break soon...hang in there!

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by EmilyPost, Dec 17, 2008
Evening Tramadol Warriors!

"We're surrounded ... that simplifies our problem."- The most decorated Marine ever, General Chesty Puller

(((hugs for emergee)))

It is abundantly clear when you finally reach the end, that you're ingesting a poison named Tramadol. You did what was best for you. No one has the right to say that THEIR WAY is the RIGHT WAY. Or guarantee that what they did or claim to have done is the only way to do it.

(talk is cheap baby; walk the walk ..)

You're walking the walk and at the moment the Tramadol is leaving your intestine and giving you problems. It will pass.

I'm still not sure which is better with Tramadol, a taper or a jump off cold turkey or somewhere in between. Everyone's withdrawal will e very different. It doesn't seem to matter if you are freakishly strong or in a weakened state. Everyone reacts differently because of different body chemistry.

KevZ you write;

"watch out for the emotional symptoms on waking up, we're especially vulnerable then and can get drawn off on a roller coaster before getting a chance to mount any mental resistance/defence.
During my first (disastrous) attempt to quit I left post its around the house to remind myself- "Its the Tramadol talking!"
This really helped in the mornings."

IT'S THE TRAMADOL TAKING ... no kidding!!! I love this so much because it is so true. Yes, the early morning wake ups, I had to jump out of bed and move before the darkness of Tramadol descended.

I love theanine ....

I was bloated and it was painful. It went away. I tried not to panic. But I panicked, it's all ok. Just know you are in a WAR ... fear is useless ... making a plan and getting good and pissed off helps a great deal.

I cried alot. I think that was ok. I think that in all the years when I took Tramadol, I wasn't crying over tings I should have been crying over, you know?

Cellular Build up and so on.

Fred, dear Fred, yep. I agree, Tramadol gloms onto some unusual places. It really is amazing what the withdrawal can and will do.

Know this. Some times you have to lay low, crawl in a fix hole, waiting out the shelling. Sometimes you fight. Sometimes you rest.

Above all, you will find the right answers. Someone or something will remind you of who you are without the Tramadol. Someone will lend a helping hand. Not a lecture. Not a do as I say. You all know in your hearts what has to be done and in your time, your own time, I believe in you. You will get off Tramadol and stay off Tramadol.

I remember MANY times saying .. I don't CRAVE it. I don't. I really still would rather go to the grocery store, sit down in the middle of an aisle and spoon RAT POISON into my mouth than take Tramadol ever again.

It made me unkind, uncaring, not sexual, no happy. It made me "Not UNWELL."

And in the end it stole years of my life from me and increased my pain 100 fold.

I'm so proud of all of you tapering and coming off it. SO proud!

Love and healing,
Emily



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by FinallyFred, Dec 17, 2008
Dear Damn Tram,   What I am about to offer is stickly  my own views and opinions.  Something about your posts have bothered me, but I couldn't put my finger on it, until a few hours ago.  Taken together, I find that must now respond to  the body of the posts you have made since 12/14 here.

I read your initial posts of 12/14 with compassion and best wishes for you.  I held my peace until  a some  hours ago, when you once again asked why ANYONE would EVER want to stop taking tramadol cold turkey?  Regrettably, I am afraid that I am not so charitible as dear emergee, who responded to you first a few hours a ago this evening.  This note if filled with rhetorical questions.  That means I don't really expect an answer to them from you.

But in response to your question, "why anyone would want to stop cold turkey", here is my answer:  I stopped taking tramadol and I did so suddenly, because when I had the moment of clarity and saw what this drug had been doing to me for six years, I wanted to immediately start putting days between myself and my last does of tramadol.  Having responded  to YOUR question, please allow me to ask some of you.  In particular, what is your motive in  posting to this site?  

If you are seeking help, saddle up and receive it freely.  If you are struggling, please let us help you.  But please sir, don't pretend to offer help before you decide to enter into the fray...not until you come to the place where beating this addiction is IMPORTANT to the life you live today.  Because the comments you have offered and the flip manner in which you speak about your TUBS of tramadol - do little sir, to assist in MY fight today against this drug.  

By way of review, this site was founded by a woman who appeared to stop taking tramadol cold turkey after a rapid taper.  I am not Emily's apologist, and I don't think she needs one.   However, you may have noticed the title, "Day 45 again! Tramadol Withdrawal - Cold Turkey" as you came through the door.  And as far as I can tell, the website was started in order to help others to rid themselves of this drug.  

Emily Post has told us that she tapered quickly and then stopped COLD TURKEY, but she added that "her way" is not the only way.  Likewise, we have seen some beautiful examples of people DESIRING to get off tramadol by tapering off slowly as well.    What sir is your desire?  Because as I read your posts, your apparent efforts to rail against other posts on this website, is akin to rushing in to A Jewish Synagogue and hollaring, "Jesus is coming".  So what is your point sir?

On 12/14, in your first of several posts, you told us that you were taking 200 mgs/day and...putting off the inevitable with tramadol.  Fair enough.  I think we all put off battling with this addiction for a very long time before taking the plunge. But you sir, are the first person I have ever seen here attempting to give ADVICE based on past performance - rather than on a conviction you hold dear today.

You next told us that you "went COLD TURKEY from 2-300 mg per day once and slept all night after taking Kava"  Is that so?  Did you once find that COLD TURKEY was a viable option and only more recently decide to rule it out?  Then there was your comment about your doctors prescribing tramadol to you by the TUB.  And your point was?   Even the notion of "tramadol by the TUB" is disgusting to me sir.  

On 12/14, you also shared with apparent glee that "instead of toughing it out, you recommend giving in" to the desire to take more tramadol.  What good might you expect to see accomplished by recommending us to "give in"?   Same question sir, what is your motive?  Why are you here?  

At 12:25 p.m. that same day, you posted again.  You remember that, right?  That's when you gave us the "just a pinch between the cheek and gum" suggestion.  R E A L L Y ?  In that same post, you admonished those here to "not be in such a RUSH to get off this stuff."    R E A L L Y ?  When would you have us begin this fight sir?  

Next you added the most ENLIGHTENING thing you have offered thus far when you admitted that you were not only taking tramadol, but that  you were still HAPPILY taking it.  Happily still taking tramadol huh?  How about this pal... come back and offer advice when it is no longer working for you?  Because the way I see it, the others here have begun the fight of a life time against a drug we no longer desire to have TUBS of around.   You see, for me, this fight is no big deal.  It's simply a matter of life or death.

But here is the REALLY BIG problem I find in your posts.  When I found this site, I cherished it.  I saw the kind of recovery that others had achieved and with every bone in my body, I applied what they had done to the best of my ability.  And about two weeks ago, I entered into the most serious battle of my entire life.  I read what was being posted on this site and found encouragement in the battle.  And when I posted, I tried to report my victories and defeats so that what was given to me, might be extended to somebody else as well.  But let me ask you again sir, what is YOUR motive in the postings you have made here?  What points are there in calling into question the very methods that this community was estabhlished to fight?


I held my peace until tonight sir, when ONCE AGAIN you raised the question "why anyone would want to stop taking this drug COLD TURKEY"...and then you uttered something flip about understanding why someone would want to "pop a couple to enjoy (THEIR/your?) Saturday Night".  So sleep on these things a few days and consider what your intentions are in making such statements.  

I may regret taking on your intentions when I wake up in the morning sir, but for me, this addiction is just too serious to go to bed tonight without speaking out against.  Please FEEL FREE come back and post again when defeating this devil pill becomes something more than an academic past time.  Because for this person, it is deadly serious.  

Fred




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by EmilyPost, Dec 17, 2008
Bravo Fred!

Well Said.

As I have said above, Talk is Cheap. Walk the Walk.

Never regret such Passion Fred, there are people out there who have never even posted, wondering if they might be able to fight Tramadol off, and Win. The above post, is so compelling.

Because it is a Fight For Your Own Life Back.

You did it. I did it. So many here are.

Bravo!!

Love and Healing,
Emily


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by shaffekl, Dec 17, 2008
Day 11 and the fog is begining to fade.  I woke up this morning with a bit of energy that I had not had since stopping tramadol COLD TURKEY!  The feeling that everything is going to work out.  This battle to regain my life has just taken a turn.  I know the random symptoms will return but today I feel strong enough to take them head on.  

Thanks for all the support!

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by EmilyPost, Dec 17, 2008
So proud of you shaffekl! Good Job. I know how hard it is and I remember (how could anyone forget) that first day of feeling like it is going to be ok.

You have battled, and you have regained control. Stopped the poison. HOORAY!!

It's wonderful.

Those of you who were caused anxiety or made to feel bad recently here, I hope that now we won't have more abuse. I have reported it to MedHelp and my hope is that we'lll not have to deal with it again.

One of the biggest dangers in wihdrawal from Tramadol  is that a person suddenly alters their tramadol use and after a period of a few days of no tramadol, takes their dose back up to a "normal does." That's when you have a danger of seizure. My opinion (and it was a shared one) was that recent posts encouraging the use of a drug we are all trying to kick forever were dangerous foremost, and abusive ... secondarily.

There was an elephant in the room, and it is better to just talk about it,

Love and Healing to all,
Emily



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by kevzx81, Dec 17, 2008
I would be most grateful if anyone could share with me any info on what to expect during a tapered withdrawal.
As I write this I have been on Tramadol for 8 weeks.50mg x 3 per day.
Last week my body seemed to start demanding more. I am now waking up with mild sweats and shivers, finding it difficult to eat and having bouts of anxiety. I also feel sick in the mornings and have lost 26lb in weight in just 8 weeks!
Right now my my inner child is VERY SCARED and would like nothing more than to pop 1 extra Tram a day!
I am due to see my Doctor tomorrow to request a reduced dose.
I appreciate that all cases are different and that ultimately I must take responsibility for choosing my own strategies.
Any info/opinion/experince shared will be treated in this spirit.

And....Well done everyone for staying strong anfd fighting this thing, I am a long way behind most of you but there is real encouragement in knowing you are there.





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by Organica, Dec 17, 2008
((Kevzx81)).. I am tapering off Tramadol after 5-6 years on 200mg.  I am going to have a guess here, and it is just a guess, but I don't think your symptoms are related to the need for, or physical addiction to, Tramadol.  I think it may be the drug itself.We all have a different physiological make-up, and this drug has so many aspects to it, that I truly believe anything is possible!  It certainly changed me.
If it were me, I would be reducing my dose.  Wait and see, also, what the others say.
And keep posting to let us all know how you are going!
In support,
Sue

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by kevzx81, Dec 17, 2008
Sue..thanks for your input.
It did seem strange to me that I started having trouble so soon with Tramadol.
After taking it for 2 weeks I stopped because I didnt know any better and even after this short time I was immediately thrown into the flu-like symptoms of withdrawal that are so often described here.....prolonged nausea,sweats,vomitting.
I thought I had a flu bug or similar but after 3 days it was obvious that my symptoms were'nt following any usual pattern associated with flu. I started taking the Tram again and all the symptoms vanished. That was about 5-6 weeks ago.
My reaction to the drug seems out of all proportion to my limited use of it and I find this worrying; is it possible that some of us are hypersensitive  to it?
I have read all the posts here and can see that, by general comparison, my use of Tram fades to insignificance against most other peoples experiences.
I only hope people don't think I'm exagerrating my experience. I really was in a complete mess after only 2 weeks!


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by Organica, Dec 17, 2008
Kevzx81... No of course we do not think you are exagerrating!  All of us have a story to tell, all a little, (or a lot) different.. The thing we are all agreed on is that this is a bad drug!  
I think that there is every likelihood that you are hypersensitive...this drug works in several different ways and any one could, and eventually it seems, does, cause problems.  
Please don't compare yourself to others - your situation is your situation - yet another in the gradually unfolding saga of Tramadol.
Since you had such a reaction when stopping completely, please consider tapering.  If you find it difficult, do it very very gradually... I have extreme reactions too, and the tapering is definitely working for me..  I am now just steady on about 35mg daily, and once the reactions subside, I will go lower.  Others will offer their way.  
Please do come here for support - it really is such a great service that Emily provides.
All strength to you!
Sue

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by emergee, Dec 17, 2008
wow,  that was strange about damntram.   it went right over my head.   well i have complained about brain fog,  i guess you didn't get brain fog ,  fred.   way to go.

and emily ,  it so so kind of you to keep checking in with this thread.  i can't believe you do it.   on the long scroll down here i passed an early one of mine that you answered ,  and i remembered how much it meant to me a that stage that someone knew i existed and was suffering.

i thought to post about these hylands nerve pills,   and this may seem silly,  but  i take them all day long.   i pretty much think they work.  i am a high strung type and i have not needed to take clonapin during the day.  i don't feel jumpy or anxious.  i do take clonapin at night to sleep and have for ages.     the hylands  are so cheap .  the  homeopathic rls remedy worked and the gasalia worked,  its just that you have to take them and take them and take them.   a bottle of 500 costs 7 bucks.  i just know some who have posted about anxiety.  another thing to try.  

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by emergee, Dec 17, 2008


lois wrote me about aspartame:



HI,Benefits from refraining completely from aspartame were instant which makes it easy! I no longer suffer from joint pain,body stiffness,sharp jabbing,shooting body pain,brain fog,depression,mood swings.I lost 12 lbs. the first month. I have a much better sense of smell also. Fountain diet coke has saccharin and aspartame which contains methyl alcohol which converts to formaldehyde. Its no wonder i felt 100 yrs.old.  Stop cold turkey,and drink lots of water. Keep in touch and good luck.



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by FinallyFred, Dec 18, 2008
Emergee and Sue, your ways are golden and beautiful to behold.  If I had 1/2 of the patience of either of you...well, I'm not exactly sure what I would do.  

No emergee, I have had my share of foggy days since coming off this tramadol, but I guess it lifted there for a micro second.  :)  You crack me up!!!

Kevxz81, I have been reading your posts and want to assure you that it is unlikely that anyone here would think you are exagerrating (your) experience with this drug.  I have heard from some who say that they experienced withdrawal symptoms like the one's you describe after just six days of taking tramadol.  YUP, this drug is wicked.  Whether your body is hypersensative to this drug or not, it's hard to say.  But you are unbelievably wise to be concerned about this so early on.  In my experience, dependancy and tolerance do nothing but get WAY worse over time.   (fireworks go off)

You mentioned that your body was screaming at you (my paraphrase) for more recently.   Yup, sounds like the same drug I was on.  This is my UNSCIENTIFIC formula for the degree to which one might experience "withdrawal symptoms".

MGs your body thinks it needs - MGs you take in = degree of withdrawal symptoms one has

This is based strictly on my own experience over six years with the drug (increasing, decreasing amounts) and my theory of acquired tolerance over time.  This may explain how it was that I actually had more "flu like symptoms", the kind you describe, when tapered/reduced my intake as compared to what my body felt it needed/wanted, than when I stopped entirely.  But my kinda taper is not anything I would model anyone else's after.

I guess my point is that I think you are SO wise to be concerned now, because it will do nothing but get worse with time on the drug.  Good for you.

Some days ago, you asked,  "Is there no legal recourse here? Don't doctors have ANY duty to inform?? Any thoughts on this anyone?

I am utterly devasted to read here how many people have been effectively robbed of their right to executive decision both through omission and outright lies."

I expect that at least to some degree, your questions were simply expressions of understandable outrage, and not truly begging to be answered.  Nonetheless, are my thoughts on the questions you raised.  

FIRST, don't let go of  the anger and rage, it will continue to serve you well as you focus  your conviction to get off this stuff.   Truth be told, that's how I made it this far.

Next, I have no knowledge of the legal system in UK.  But medical malpractice lawsuits in the US are NEARLY impossible to perfect (collect on).  To begin with, a plaintiff (injured person) seeking damages would need to demonstrate what the standard of care is in prescribing this drug.  That feat would be accomplished by bringing in other docs and experts to establish what the "reasonably prudent doctor" would do.  NEXT, you would need to establish that your own doctor deviated from the above "standard of care".   And with the commonly held precautions and warnings woefully lacking, that would also be extremely difficult to prove.   I don't know about the UK, but it is nearly impossible to find doctors to testify against other doctors in such cases.  NEXT, one would need to demonstrate that the patient (you, me) bore no comparative fault in how the drug was prescribed and used.

At this point, they would drag out my wife, my litlte sister, my cats, and anyone else they might choose to subpoena to examine EVERY aspect of why you took the drug, how you took the drug, whether you disclosed every pertinent detail of your health history before you took the drug, and so on.  Not anything I care to go through.

And if one got by all those hurdles, then you would be required to prove how you have been damaged.  What additional medical costs have you incurred asa result of the negligent medical care you received?  Has this caused you/me to loose work?  And then we would be faced with demonstrating what sort of pain and suffering we have incurred as a result of the doctors malpractice.  Somewhere along the way, they would depose your employer, your neighbors, your friends and your gold fish.  

So while it would be a beautiful thing to see one of these perfected, my guess is that it would tear you up and spitr you out pittifully before you or I were to able to recover one penny.  And unlike most litigation, doctors have the right to continue fighting these med mal cases without offering even a penny for "settlement".  But I SO TOTALLY understand the spirt in which I think you raised the questions.  UNBELIEVABLE, HUH?

Nope, I am pretty sure that we both would both be better served by simply using that emotion and rage we sometimes feel to getsimply work to get  OFF THIS DARNED DRUG.  

I will be most interested to hear what your doctor says when you tell him that you want him to "reduce" your tramadol RX.   I'll bet that will be a first for him/her!  :)  

Take care all.  Fred

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by IzzWizz, Dec 18, 2008
Malpractice suits are also impossible here unless you have video footage of a doctor randomly sawing your leg off for no reason. The minute malpractice is mentioned they all ban together and close ranks. Also, because 99% of people in the UK are treated by the National Health Service (ie completely for free at the expense of the government) they normally have complete government backing too. Its sad unfortunately but true.

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by roddy132, Dec 18, 2008
Hi All,
        Not posted for a while so here is my update hope you dont find it too boring.  I have now reduced my Tram intake to 150mgs daily from 300mgs a month ago.  Still have that, this is not my body feeling, anxiety, stomach probs etc but a little bit more tolerable.( only a little ).  Still think you guys who go the CT route are incredible not sure if i could do it i have tried in the past and ended up caving into the demon. ( weak ).lol.

Im so glad the unpleasantries have ceased, really do think we all have enough to deal with fighting this addiction and need to pull together and give as much support and information to each other as we can.  I can imagine Emily pulling out her hair reading some of the posts  Not that im criticising anyone i need to go on record saying this.

Kevzx81 regarding tapering down you can as your doctor to prescribe soluble version in 50mgs, this makes it easier to taper to 25mgs ie dissolve and only consume half the fluid, this is a little more accurate than splitting capsules and if it helps with getting off the stuff and hopefully reducing the side effects its worth a try, it has helped me. Regarding redress in UK izzwizz is so right regarding the closing of ranks when there is a sniff of bother i have seen it from first hand being in the proffession. IE  a lowly RN.   There is something you can do if you feel strongly enough regarding the situation with this vile substance.  In the UK we have the M.H.R.A. this being the Medicines & Healthcare products Regulatory Agency.  Their purpose is to to be responsible for ensuring medicines & med devices are acceptable and safe.  You can go online to their website and fill in a Yellow Card to report the problems you have been having with a particular medicine.  Now the problem with this is that it is a Government Agency and i do tend to be a little tongue in cheek regarding such organisations connected to any government, but it is something you can do, I HAVE.  Anyway hope your all doing well whichever route you have chosen  Take Care  Rod

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by Ultrapest, Dec 18, 2008
I've been held ransom by Ultram for several years now. Currently I take 500 mg/ day. At this point I need it just to feel normal. I decided to get off Tramadol after losing my job 2 weeks ago. Today is day 1. I know the last time I went without my drug I would get major twitching in my arms and legs. I would feel like i was crawling out of my skin. I couldn't take it and I resorted to the Emergency Room.
Can any of you help me to cope easier with the withdrawal symptoms? I heard that a series of vitamins, and Dextromethorphan help, as does antihistamines. Does anyone have any experience with cold turkey withdrawal and how to make it easier?
I can't be out of comission because I have 2 young kids who need me while my wife is working. I have to be done with this aweful drug. It's taken over me, and it's so easy to get on the internet, overnight. I don't want to order anymore. Please help my sanity come back. I'm so irritable. I can't sleep. I can't do anything except not be able to sit still for a minute.
Thanks to all--- Dom

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by EmilyPost, Dec 18, 2008
Dear Dom;

I'm so happy you are going to stop.

YES, everything works to soothe you a bit. For me; the big winners were B12 sublingual tablets. Honey for energy, Chamomile Tea or sleeptime. Lots of EmergenC which is powdered vitamins in water. The forst 3-4 days were bad, but it gets better after that.

Baths with mineral salts. Or if you can't tolerate a bath; a shower with mineral salts as a scrub. I like Batherapy Lavender.

Tonic water with quinine (mix w/ apple juice) to help Restless legs. emergee mentions the nerve pills above; they work.

Tylenol PM, benadryl. I used Excedrin Migraine during the day. Thomas recipe or detox. Ice packs, heat packs, clean clothes.

Read the whole journal if you can. so many tips.

I was up to 10 pills at the most at the end. That's 500 mg. I tapered FAST (rn outta pills on purpose) and then cold turkey. It sucked but NEVER as badly as being on Tramadol *****.

You will recover completely if you stop. It takes time and yeah, it's not fun. But you will be ok.

Love and healing,
Emily

I know how hard it is. But it is worth it. It is a few days of pain (which you can make more tolerable)

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by FinallyFred, Dec 19, 2008
Ultrapest - Welcome to the " recovering from tramadol club".  Glad you found us, because when I got here 16 days ago, I was sure it was the last house on the block and NOT at all sure I could be helped.  Like you, i was a 4-500 mg per day user for six years.  How could I have known THEN that the people who post here would be able to help me through my own COLD TURKEY withdrawal from this demon drug...until it happened!  I believe it can happen for you as well Dom.  

I must tell you that I have SOME concerns about stopping it now if you have responsibilities for your two young chikdren while your wife is at work.  You would know best about what sorts of needs they have and/or your ability to care for them on very little sleep and feeling "fluish" for 4 days.  

There are many others here who can give you better advice than I can about what things can ease the pain of withdrawal, including Emily, some RNs from the UK, and a fireman who post here regularly.  I'd suggest you begin reading at the top of this journal and see what other's used to reduce the symptoms.  But make no mistake, it won't be painless.  So let me ask you, how badly do you want this to work?

These are the conclusions I reached as I began my journey right where you are today.  (1) There isn't any painless way out of this mess, (2) the sooner I could begin to put days between myself and my last dose of tramadol, the better.  

I probably spent 6-8 hourts a day in front of this computer those first several days, reading and re-reading what worked for those who had made it out.  I began recording my own progress with this battle, initially here, and then, when it seemed I was blabbering WAY too much here constantly, I started making my own journal entries.  Click on your ICON and you will see where you can post these for yourself.  If nothing else, spending a lot of time reading these posts and starting your own journal helps pass the time and keeps you focused on the WAR of beating thisthing.

You will read lots of opinions here as to whether it is better to tapper slowly or to stop cold turkey.  The folks here are pretty gracious in realizing that my way may not be their way or vice versa.  Stopping COLD TURKEY doesn't imply that you are stronger than someone who tappers over time or vice versa.  In fact, in my case, it was in part because i knew I was WEAK, that I decided to start going cold turkey.  Because if I had embarked on a slow taper, I am fairly certain that I would be right back to my old ways in no time flat.  


Sometimes the heard way is the easy way and the easy way the hard way.  My mother in law actually to mumble that
al l the time and I found very little use for this rediculous statement until i saw it's application to stopping tramadol.  

So consider what needs your childen will have to be met in the next three days.  If your wife can be home this weekend, and she knows about your plan maybe you can tough out another day of cold turkey.  Tomorrow won't be any worse (and no better either) than today was for you.  If your wife can "spell you" this weekend, you should be feeling better on Monday.  

Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing OK?  Fred

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by FinallyFred, Dec 19, 2008
Day 17 OFF this drug and I have a return of RLS pain tonight.  Oh my.  Can't sleep.  Needles and pins telling me the tramadol isn't done with me yet...Bath and Hylands...come on.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The only thing that is keeping me sane tonight is the thought that this too is just the RANDOM non-linear part of the recovery we hear about but don't hear really.  The aftermath.  Like fog.  Like crying jags.  Like unbalance.  

Very humbling.

Very madening.

Very troubling.

Disturbing...very

The mind wanders and considers whether neuropathy in the feet can/will be permanent?

If it wants me this badly, it won't HAVE me.

I want me FREE from tramadol.

I WILL be free from tramadol.

Fred


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by Mercedes175, Dec 19, 2008
Kevx, I dont think you are exaggerating at all. When I first started Trams I took for only a few days (sore throat) and I experienced signifiant withdrawals..after a few days had horrible head fog and at night I had "restless body syndrom".  Then a year later I only took it for 2 days (bought some over the internet)..this time it was straight Tramadol (before I was using Ultracet which is less doseage of tramadol)...I felt guilty buying over the internet and felt sick after the second dose of it so flushed them...however that weekend after only 2 days (no lie)..I was so listless I thought I would faint...I remember this distinctly as I had my nails done that w/end and could barely sit up straight in chair...this lasted a good 2 days. Now I am taking them much longer (going on 4months)...I plan to stop after Christmas (traveling next week)... but agree with these pills you get hit immediately. That is why I feel they are really more intense.

We could both be more sensitive but doesnt matter...we react to this drug..it is intense.

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by kevzx81, Dec 19, 2008
another day another chapter.....
Organica/Fred/Izzwizz/Roddy/Mercedes, thanks for your input over the last 48 hours.
I am not surprised to hear that legal action is next to impossible and I will be saving my strength for the battle I CAN win, ie against the Tramadol.
Mercedes, I was reassured to hear I'm not the only one this sensitive to Tram. Thanks for that.

I saw the Doctor yesterday and asked for a lower dose to start tapering off.
And yes, he WAS surprised.....denied any knowledge of any withdrawal/tolerance problems around Tram, but WAS gracious enough to concede that long term heavy use MIGHT cause mild addiction!!
I expect you've all heard this before.
He did prescribe soluble Tramadol (Zydol) which the chemist did not have in stock, but it will be arriving monday so now at least I can do a precisely controlled taper.

Many thanks for the soluble idea Roddy, I'm not sure the Doctor would have suggested it if I had'nt known to ask!
(he obviously believes 'pro-active' is a reference to a hooker clocking in to work.)

Sorry to hear its a bad day for you Fred, hang in there we're all rooting for you.

Keep up the good fight everyone, and thanks again for the posts.





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by newbie6, Dec 19, 2008
OK, the dreaded/glorious day has finally come for me!  After a wonderful vacation filled with snow, Christmas music, concerts, and skiing, I am now back and ready for the battle.  Today marks Day 1 for me, since the last Trams I took were yesterday at around 7am.  Normally when I don't re-dose sometime during the day I start feeling it throughout the night and the next morning is miserable.  I don't know what is going on this time but I slept great last night and I feel fine this morning.  Maybe I am going to have a delayed response and it will hit me hard tonight and this weekend.  I have no doubt I am going to get hit hard, I just don't know when.  I think I timed this well, as today is an easy work day, and after lunch we are taking our staff ice skating and to a movie.  So I really only have 3 hours of work today, then the weekend is here.  I have nothing planned tomorrow (Day 2) except golf with some friends, and a Christmas Party we are hosting at our house tomorrow night. (I am sure I won't be any fun but will blame it on not feeling well.) Sunday (Day 3) is also pretty laid back, just watching football all day. Monday (Day 4) is another easy work day, and my boss won't be there, along with Tuesday (Day 5) and Wednesday (Day 6) which is only a half day and then we drive to my in-laws for the rest of the weekend (Days 7-10).  I return to work needing to be ready to go on Monday Dec. 29th (Day 11).  I am hoping that by Day 11 I am feeling good and normal, but time will only tell.  

I have not really purchased anything yet, but am planning to tonight on my way home from work.  Some things I already have are Kratom Powder, Wellbutrin, and a supply of Vicodin from a recent ankle injury.   I know I am going to need more than this, so I will stock up at the local pharmacy.  From what I have read I should plan on buying some B12, Hylands Restful Legs, L-Theanine, and all those others that the Fireman so graciously provided for us.  

I am both excited and scared at the same time.  Waiting in anticipation for the time when it hits me and takes me down for the count. My wishful thinking is telling me that maybe I won't experience any of these things, but I know that is unrealistic and I will expect the worst.

Thank you all for your words and advice.  I will be referencing this forum constantly throughout the days ahead looking for some comfort and help, and I am grateful you have all provided this already for eachother.

Buckle down, cause here we go!

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 19, 2008
It was meant for me to come across this site!  I have been on tramadol for a few years.  I was on it four years ago but was able to wean off of it when I became pregnant.  I was taking maybe 8 at the most per day.  I then got back on after the birth of my child.  BIG MISTAKE!  I continued to increase my dosage.  Embarrasing to say how much I was taking per day.  I am down to 10-12 per day and continuing to wean down.  The reason I have started weaning down is becuase I experience a grand mal seizure.  I was driving.  THANK GOD no one was hurt!!  God was totally on my side!  So nice to know there are others out there battling this drug!  THANK YOU ALL!  Congratulations to those who have gotten off of this med and I pray to those continuing to battle this journey!!

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 19, 2008
Newbie,

I just read your post. Good luck!  I will be joining you real soon!  I will keep you in my prayers!

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by IzzWizz, Dec 19, 2008
Hello all :)

Awesome news newbie! Its really nice that you are so excited about giving up, you sound so positive! I wish you the best of luck and my thoughts are with you :). I am on day 7 now and my sleep is still terrible but I feel quite good all in all apart from the random crying and emotional outbursts. I wish you a speedy recovery!

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by emergee, Dec 19, 2008
bummer fred,
   just remember to keep taking the hylands every few minutes until you can sleep.  i have also been taking a few every night when i get the merest hint of crawling.  i never had a full blown attack again after i starting taking hylands.   i hope you're surviving.  
   i basicly never know what i am going to feel.  sometimes it's okay ,  sometimes it's just super exhausted , even to the point of chills.  sometimes headache.  

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by needhelp4me434, Dec 19, 2008
i have been posting somewhere on this site. the people that helped me, one suggested i go to this one. i've been sitting here reading ya'll's post for some time.

i write these words to those of you who are trying to taper off this devil of a drug.

i'm on day 5. i did'nt take this drug for a long period of time nor did i ever go over 200mg's a day. no one is safe from this drug . it does'nt matter if you take 25mgs a day or 600mgs. the first pill grabs you.

i do believe had i not come across this web page i' would be abusing this drug and i know i would have continued to use this drug

someone upstairs must have been looking out for me. and i'm very thankful. and thankful for all of you and your honesty.

now for the withdraws.

because i did'nt take this on a regular basis, it was hard for me to figure out a taper plan. so for 1 week i took the 200mgs like i was told, then the next week 150mgs, by now i was taking more that i had taken before i decieded to taper and figured i'd made a real mess of things and i had. but i pushed on. i finally got to 25mgs a day. at 50mgs i began to feel the withdraws. my worse symptom was sever depression, never have i experienced an emotional fall like this. but i pushed on. on mon i took my last 25mgs . that day will live in infamy. had i not had the knowledge from these posts i do believe i would have found a way to end my life, then the flu like symptoms hit. chills then hot flashes, extreme anxiety or the restlessness ya'll talk about, then the nausea  the aches the headache..

what did i do to ease these withdraws. i acknowleged them for what they were, i believed that this would pass.
i increased my ativan does to 2mgs 3x a day. i took ambiem in the middle of the day, i called my dr and was given 2mgs of abilify to help lift the depression, i forced water down siped chicken broth, and milk shakes. but i still suffered the terrible depression. and i cried and cried and cried. monday and tues are a blurr , by wed night i began to feel the rebirth of myself. this morning i knew i had recieved the miracle. i did not give in to the withdraws and take the little devil of a pill. i beat i. i'm not 100% yet. i'm so so tired, a little depressed no motivation. but i'm just going to take it easy. no one recovers from the effects of withdraws on the emotional or physical  level in just 5 days. i'm drained. but i know it now that the healing begins

i tapered wrong, i did'nt picked the best time in my life to attempt such a struggle. my father just passed away. i loved my daddy. i miss him so so much, maybe i should have waited a few more months and maybe i would'nt have fallen into that deep hole of depression. i did this alone. no one was here with me. i should have had someone here to help me someone to talk to.

i hope this problem with this drug goes public one day. i'll be the first in line to tell my story.

i pray for all of you that are trying to get off this, i give a high 5 to those of you that have beaten this little white monster
i thank all of you for your post and your respons to mine. without ya'll i could never have managed this. thank you again

colleen



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by HOPEreturns, Dec 19, 2008
colleen

So sorry about your father.  It would probably be so easy just to take some of the pills and feel better.  You are very strong and am proud of you for hanging in there!  Just think.... if you would have been continuing to take these pills, your grieving process would have been put on hold.  NOT HEALTHY!  These pills cause one not to feel or deal with emotions the way one is supposed to.  You keep going.... you are almost there!



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by emergee, Dec 19, 2008
colleen,  
    your post is very moving,  i so feel for you, and admire your courage.  it seems like perhaps the depression wasn't just classic old depression but it was perhaps grief,  and you had a very very good reason to have it.  my father died in 1982 and i could cry everyday about it  still if i let myself.  what i have noticed is that the emotions i have are very extreme.  mine have been for some time and i attribute that to the tram.  i cry buckets at a movie,  i went to milk ,  and it was embarrassing.  it brought up my past ,  i lived through those times portrayed in the movie,  it brought up all the ways i have ****** up my life since then,  and how i could have lived differently and better.  i talked to an old boyfriend today that i loved a lot, and i thought i was going to die of grief.  it does seem exagerrated yet the emotions are real.  it's not that grey depression where you are sinking into a pit of nothingness.
    i don't know if you have bought the support aminos etc.  honestly i don't know how well they work but i do take them .   i am into the homeopathic remedies right now since i noticed they worked for the rls.  so today i bought one for depression.  i'll post if i think it works.  
    congratulations on an amazing journey .  things will be getting better and you will start feeling that you are yourself again.

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by emergee, Dec 19, 2008
colleen
    and this is stepping into your business in a nosey way but i have read about people having a horrible time getting off ativan.    i just encourage you to find some alternatives if you can.   i think it is another horrible horrible drug.  it may sound really stupid ,  i mean i thought they were slightly stupid,  but i think homeopathic is worth a try.   i thought they were for people who were so healthy and pure that they could feel the slight subtle influence,  in other words,  not like me.   but i was shocked to find it cured my rls in one night and so i tried the nerve tonic.  i am super jumpy person,  i mean if someone says hi to me behind me ,  i jump and scream;  i've had insomnia my whole life,  but these stupid little pills are keeping me unanxious.   so many people who are detoxing complain of anxiety and i am pretty okay.  i just take these pills all day long all the time.  
    so sorry if i'm butting in,  what ever gets us through this nightmare is not to be sniffed at so if you need it,  you need it, i understand.

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by Organica, Dec 19, 2008
emergee.. What are the homeopathics you are taking?  Sorry if you've already listed it - can't seem to find it.
((best))
Sue

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by emergee, Dec 19, 2008
i have been doing hylands nerve tonic, which works but you have to take a lot and often.    i just bought newton blues and mood support .   and i took boiron gasalia for stomach bloating which helped but didn't cure it, but when your stomach is as bad as mine was helping was huge.    acupuncture cured it.    i noticed there is a formula for detoxing also but i haven't tried it.
also there is calms forte .

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by FinallyFred, Dec 20, 2008
emergee, Have you got a distributorship for Hylands going on there that you haven't told us about?  ((big smile))  Fred

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by FinallyFred, Dec 20, 2008
Identification - it's magic

Matt, Coleen, Hopereturns, and others:  I have been reading through your posts tonight and I was touched by how each one of your stories is SOMEWHAT different, yet each one is oh so similar.  Each of you have laid out your plans to rid yourselves  of this evil drug - tramadol.  With your determination - the victory is certain, even as the path for each will not be painless.   But you know this and already doing battle with this drug.  Good for you.

As one book puts it, "We thought we could find an easier softer way.  But we could not.  With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.  Some of us have tried to hold on to old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely."

As I read each individual story of people becoming "fearless" in their personal battles against tramadol, I was struck TONIGHT by the fact that while we share a common enemy, how much different EACH of us is - one from one another.  

Consider this -  we see tramadol warriors who are grandmothers living in Florida and 30 year old snowboarders living in Oregon.  We see old men, young ladies, and middle aged persons of nearly every walk of life.  Some working and some are unemployed, yet all addicted to this lousy drug.

Some are married, some are single, and some  divorced.  Some are blessed with supporting spouses in the fight and yet there are others whose friends have left them over this drug.  Some hve concerned and some hafve been forthright.  Some of us suffer from depression and some are happy as clams.  Some of us have been suffering for many years and others became hooked after only a few days.  Some bought this drug off the internet and others had tramadol perscribed by their physicians.  Some suffered monthly withdrawals regularly and others never experienced the "joy" of running low.  Some took the prescribed dose as though they were a saint, while others swollowed it like candy by the handful.  The drug takes us ALL down one and the same.   Nope - it's the drug not our uniqueness that is the problem.  

Some are moderate in all their affairs and become addicted to this drug anyway.   Others of us must own six if we own one thing at all - and we become addicted in the same way.

Some of us are aquanted with other addictions, while some are fresh as the snow that falls.  Yet tramadol afflicts us all.

Some took 20-30 pills per day and others took as few as 2 or less/day.  And yet ALL became equally acquanted with the woes this drug provides.  We have tramadol warriors here from Australia, the UK, Canada and several states in the U.S.A. , yet this addiction knows no borders.  But as each of us offers up our own story, others may see something of THEMSELVES in the stories we each share.  And that is straight up MAGIC.

Webster defines "indentification" as "putting one's self in ANOTHER'S PLACE, so as to understand and share the other's feelings, thoughts, problems, etc."  

As each of us shares our story here, we are not only taking ACTION to become WELL ourselves, but we mark the path for another to identify with.  

When I got here three weeks ago, I identifed with someone quoted in Emily's earliest posts by the name of Cadallic Jack. He told me by his words, that the only way to beat this drug was to be willing to go to any length to do war against tramadol.  His words got me though more than one sleepless night because I IDENTIFIED with his STORY and his words.   That's the magic.

Izzy's story, Organica's Story, Emily's story, or Coleen's story may not resinate with each and every reader of these posts.  But as we continue to tell our OWN stories, as day upon day we share our victories and setbacks in OUR fight, together we will turn our words into STORIES for others to read and IDENTIFY WITH.

And as enough stories become told, someone one day will read your story or mine, and IDENTIFY with our story - as though they were reading THEIR own story.  As if they had WRITTEN it themself from the very beginning.  That's identification.  And when that sort of **** happens, it's magical.    

Fred

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 20, 2008
Fred,

You put words together beautifully!  You are so right!  We all in here have some common ground.  I am sometimes in total denial about my addictive personality.  I don't want anyone knowing and try so hard to hide it!  My husband tells me that I do something 150 percent or I go to the extreme on the other side of the spectrum and just don't do it at all.  I have been this way ever since I can remember.  At the age of 13 I was obsessed with washing my hands constantly~  At the age of 22 was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa- At the age of 38, I am a prisoner to these pills!  Each day is a battle, but I try to use every issue of mine with my career.  I am a mother of two, fulltime RN.  These tough experiences have helped me not to judge others as much.  I try so hard not to show my problems to my children.  I am the type that wants to always be upbeat when around people.  I don't want them to see my depression or anxiety!  For some reason I am sharing with you all alot more that I normally would with anyone.  I don't like to talk about myself, but this has been really therapeutic and I thank all of you for being so supportive!  

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by FinallyFred, Dec 21, 2008

Hope:  You shared some very interesting personal attributes, many of which I CAN identify with.  

Like you, I too tend to the extreems in EVERY in every  way.  I am also what I will describe as a "frustrated perfectionist" in nearly all areas of my life.   I want things perfect, but I am usually frustrated when they are not perfect.  I tend to be very hard on myself.  Regardless of what others may say, I am my own worst critic.  In my professional life, I push push push and regardless of the outcome, I  could have done  better.  

I enjoy landscaping and gardening.  I take a week or two OFF each year,  just to do "yard projects".   But regardless of what work I COMPLETE, I only see that which I didn't get to.  I built a rock rose garden for my wife ten years ago.  People compliment my work, but I see just the one stone that I set incorrectly.  

My lawnmower instructs me prime it 3 times before pulling the cord.  I wouldn't begin to pull the cord without priming it 11 times.  Whether or not less "presses" would do the trick, I wouldn't know.  I may never know.

Yep, I have an addictive personality all right.  Impatient - yep, that's me too.  

I guess that is why - when I came to this site - I found hope in knowing that tramadol didn't have to continue to be a part of my life.  I learned here that  this addiction could be defeated, if I made it the most important thing in my life to accomplish.  For some people, a common sense taper may work.  But for this person, it could never have worked for me.  You see, I am a REAL addict of the worst kind.  And I am so grateful to have STOPPED this drug before it stopped me.

I KNEW that I could never use tramadollike a gentleman - ever again.    Which is why, for this addict,  I HAD to quit COLD TURKEY.

Ten things I don't miss about taking tramadol:

1.     waking up in bed at night in a cold sweat.
2.    scraping food from the dinner dishes into the garbage can, not aware I had dumped out the silverware as well.
3.    those bouts of HICK-UPS, which seemd to go on forever, after popping too many tramadol at one time.
4.    starring into space, oblivious to another person's existance or questions being repeaatedly ask of me.
5.    riding my bike, making a left turn against traffic, and not realizing I had nearly been hit until the HONKS occured.
6.    walking into a room in the house, and not remembering why I was there or what I intended to do/get there.
7.    experiencing old pains INTENSIFIED and discovering NEW pain which I did not know B4 I started the tram.
8.    discovering that our flatware set has almost no knifes and forks left in it.
9.    being moody and sometimes angry with the world.
10.  being content for life to pass, while I contended for nothing.


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by roddy132, Dec 21, 2008
Hi People,
              Came on here to read all the other posts to try and gain my inspiration as i am really struggling at the moment.  Have reduced my intake from 300mgs to now 150mgs but those familiar feelings are trying to grind me down you know the ones, that flu like feeling that seems to happen every month, anxiety, crying like a child feeling so lost and fearful.  Must admit i sometimes wonder if CT is the answer. Tapering is ok but i do sometimes feels im just fuelling the withdrawals like throwing logs on a fire. Feeling a little better reading all the post again does help to regain that motivation and realize that you are not lonely but surrounded by good empathic people who know exactly where your coming from.  Anyway if i dont find the time to post again due to work, NHS in UK really stretched to breaking point at this time of year, i would like to wish everyone of you a really peaceful festive time and every success in 09 with the fight from the clutches of this demon drug  Best Wishes Rod

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by FinallyFred, Dec 21, 2008
Alright fellow TRAMADOL warriors I FINALLY have some idea as to which States now list tramadol as a controlled substance in the USA.  Those states include:  (1) Kansas, (2) Kentucky, (3) North Dakota, (4) Ohio, and (5) Wyoming.   And I have found some indication that at least two other states; Georgia and MA have listed this as a dangerous drug.  If any of you know differently, please let us know.  

If any of you wish to research these issues yourself, I can now at least offer some sites which will at least get you PAST the all too familiar "buy tramadol online" sites.   Some include contacts to write to.  But I have written to dozens of contacts in the past few weeks, and have yet to receive a single response.  Possibly one of you will have better luck than I have to date.

http://www.deadiversion.usdoj.gov/drugs_concern/tramadol.htm

http://www.1800petmeds.com/Tramadol-prod11064.html;jsessionid=R753rpn1A4NkjN77JMbGkA**.worker2   An unusual source of information, but it would appear that Arkansas, Kentucky, North Dakota, Ohio, and Wyoming ALL classify Tramadol as a controlled substance.

http://law.onecle.com/georgia/16/16-13-71.html   Georgia lists tramadol as a “dangerous drug”

http://www.kyma.org/content.asp?q_areaprimaryid=1&q_areasecondaryid=0&q_areatertiaryid=0&q_articleid=32   An article by the Kentucky Medical Association on the scheduling of tramadol as a class IV controlled substance on 12/05/08.

http://www.kcnpnm.org/news_viewarticle.html?id=0   Article by the Kentucky Coalition of Nurse Practitioners and Nurse Midwives on the States' recent listing of tramadol as a controlled substance


http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/161/12/2326


http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/search/allsearch?mode=quicksearch&WISindexid1=WISall&WISsearch1=tramadol  You will need to subscribe to this site in order to obtain their information - and I haven't done that YET.

http://www.nascsa.org/

http://www.nascsa.org/Folder5/statecontacts.htm   This is a list of the state contacts within the National Association of State Controlled Substance Authority.  (I wrote to the gentleman from Georgia listed as the contact but my email was returned as undeliverable.

While the road to recovery MUST be a personal decision for each one of us, it is at least  encouraging that there is a heightened awareness happening that this drug came onto the market as inadequately labled and the physicians grossly underinformed.  

I am fairly certain that this is of absolutely no interest to many of you.  But  I just happen to think that a public awakening concerning  this devil drug WILL occur one day.  And the better we can be informed, maybe that day will come sooner rather than later.  

Maybe one day the public awareness will be such that our physicians will no longer prescribe us this stuff as relatively harmless.  In some states, teh warnings are already being changed.  Maybe people like us will one day know at the beginning what we are getting into to.  Not today, but maybe one day.  And when the public awareness takes hold, the online "services" such as pills.com will be regulated as well.   At least I hope so.  At least that's my dream.

In the meantime, be of courage and have strength.  Determine to begin putting days between your last dose of tramadol and the rest of your life.  It is possible.  Fred

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by emergee, Dec 21, 2008
roddy,
     a couple of thought.  i imagined i would taper,  that that was a more reasonable thing to do.  so i went from 200 to 100 and became so ill i couldn't bear the idea of tapering.  i decided to do ct after that one day taper and it seemed too big for me and took one pill.    i went back to 50 2x a day for i think two days,  then chose the thanksgiving holiday to jump off.   somehow the jumping off was easier than the dickering i had been doing.  i had been trying to semi-function which i obviously gave up completely.   there is a psychological thing that happens when you have a little plan and give yourself space to fall apart.  the thing is ,  for a long time ,  i had been incredibly irritable,  and i had thought it was just my being crabby about my divorce , just not getting over it.  since i didn't realize i was addicted ,  i stayed on my dose of 200/day.    i was getting joint pain and depression and anger,  not putting it together it was tram.  and immediately that i ct-ed i was less irritable.  so already it was better than being on the drug.   tapering makes a lot of sense in many ways, but one thing i think might happen is that a person may fear jumping off.  i can't describe why but the day i jumped off was better than any day of the last two months that i had spent in my life,  being irritated by everything,  feeling like i was falling apart and heading towards death and old age.   way to early i might add.  i had been crying like a child for two years having no clue that it was tram,  feeling like my life was over.   when you jump off,  you are too sick to cry for a few days , and then somehow i am emotional but its not BLACK,  because you know you are doing something positive.  
     well those are my thoughts.   i am also incredibly fascinated by what you say about the nhs.  everyone here thinks it would be so wonderful if we had a nhs.  do you have any opinions?

Avatar_m_tn
by FinallyFred, Dec 21, 2008
One more site to check out.  

http://www.erowid.org/pharms/tramadol/tramadol_law.shtml

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by EmilyPost, Dec 21, 2008
"If it wants me this badly, it won't HAVE me." -Fred

Exactly. *insert many bad words here while throwing grenade into Tramadol Headquarters*

DIE DIE DIE TRAMADOL DIE!!!!!

Fred, love the references, Thank you.

So Georgia is more concerned about it's population than any other state? Does this astonish anyone else?

Dangerous drug; I'll say.

Fred I'm over here laughing cause um ... I would say about three years into the great chronic pain fight using Tramadol I suddenly realized ALL MY FORKS were gone?

Never ever connected the hiccups before! WOWZA! Good job!

Wha? I went onto eBay and bought forks. I got a message from the seller ... she had spoons and knives would I like those too?

No thanks. Just the forks Ma'am. Just the forks. Just Gimme the forks.

Anyhow for days now, since you wrote that Fred, I have been thinking about how badly TRAMADOL wants all of us. The accusations that it is simply a reformulated drug that was yanked by the FDA a number of years kind of haunts me.

Tramadol; The Ignorance without Bliss. The suggestion that "You can just stop." How many Weasels in white coats fed me that line? Great ... THEN YOU TAKE IT DOC!!! See how it feels to go off it.

See if you aren't convinced you are about to freaking die! See if you don't end up in the ER or frantically searching the computer machine and intertubes ...

More to say but computer keep freezing up ...

Some Rumi for you Tramadol Warriors ... strengthening words for the battle ahead


"If you can’t smell the fragrance
Don’t come into the garden of Love.
If you’re unwilling to undress
Don’t enter into the stream of Truth.
Stay where you are.
Don’t come our way." -Rumi


Love and healing to all,
Emily




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by HOPEreturns, Dec 21, 2008
Fred,

Thank you for your reply.  The brief time that I have been in this room, I truly feel you all have helped me in so many ways.  Being able to relate to you all has made me feel validated in some sort of way.  I am continuing to decrease my TRAMADOL dose.  I am going to try to decrease my dose by 1/4 of a tablet per week.  I know it will take a while, but I will try this little experiment.  I am also going to start taking some supplements.  

Gosh, how I sooooo relate to the things that FRED does not miss about the TRAMS!  I can't wait for the day when I can say that I don't feel those symptoms anymore.  Like EMILY, I have never experienced the hiccups either FRED........ However, I almost choked to death from taking several at a time! :)

ROD, you hang in there!  I hate that you are struggling.... the support in this room in amazing, these people will help see you through it!

Someone in an earlier post referenced how the little pills made them feel sooooo good at the beginning and then after a while they started feeling awful.  That person is so right.  The longer I have taken the pills, the worst I have been feeling.  I didn't realize this until I was forced to decrease my dose due to the horrible seizure that I had.  I do think that I needed to have that seizure to knock some freakin since into me!  Okay, I am ready to admit how many I was taking per day.  I am ashamed to say that I was taking anywhere from 25 to 30 per day.  Was I asking for a death sentence or what?  I hope that I have not offended anyone that may be taking this many.  If it was someone else that was taking this many, I would not think bad of them AT ALL!  I continue to beat myself up though!  In a very small way I feeI like I have accomplished a little bit by taking 12 per day now....... and continuing to decrease.   With the support of you all, I think I can continue with this battle!


GOD BLESS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!
Hope

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 21, 2008

wanted to add something...... I do have a concern about my job.  I am known at work as energetic, enthusiastic, and always smiling.  Once I am off of tramadol, I am scared that those characteristics will leave!

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by EmilyPost, Dec 21, 2008
Dear Hope, Sweetest Hope;

First I am glad you told us how many you were taking and I really hope that you ditch the guilt. I am 100% sure that you did what you could until you could do better. It's human nature to try not to be in horrible pain. Emotional, Physical or Spiritual pain.

I also am glad the seizure did not kill you. Thank God you are here today.

I also want to say that I really had the impression that the Tramadol was helping me appear more outgoing, peppy ect .... BUT IT WAS A LIE.

As you taper, they may think you have a virus. But if you plan this correctly ... it'll be ok Sweetheart!

I think what Fred said about the way you rebuild your life after Tramadol is not discussed enough. That's partially because people leave after Stage 1-2. Recovery means you start to see what a LIE this drug really was. Beyond losing all YOUR FORKS! It made me into someone I am not. And recovering and rebuilding specifically from THAT horror and injury is a one day a time thing.

But it can and will be done.

Tramadol loses.

Love and healing,
Emily


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by HOPEreturns, Dec 22, 2008

Yes... it is now 2:40 something in the A. M. !  Thank you TRAMADOL.  My how you have affected my sleep cycle!  But you know what?  Normally when I wake up in the middle of the night...... I am usually thinking about how wrong my little Tramadol secret is and then start feeling pathetic.  This is the first time that I realized I had an alternative.  I could read, share and discuss something that ties me to others.  So now I am here.  

EMILY..... Thank you, Thank you ,Thank you!  You will never know the magnitude of how your message has touched me!  Your compassion and empathy just flow from your words!  You truly have a gift.  I have always been the one that has tried to encourage others, but seem to have trouble asking for encouragement or help.  There are some really remarkable individuals here.  YOU, EMILY..... along with others in here have made it easier for me to finally surrender.  It has been a very long time since I have felt a little "lighter" emotionally.  I will enjoy this feeling as long as it is here.  I do know that I will be having some tougher days.  However, I'm thinking that these "tougher days" will be easier because I now feel I have help!!!

Hope

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by 1113, Dec 22, 2008
ok all,

i have been reading this post for awhile now and i want to hop in.....   i have been taken tramadol for about a year now.  started off at 150mg per day then up to 300 a day, but i have tapered back down to 150 a day over the past 2 weeks..

I have been trying to come up with a good taper plan, but one thing that I don't want to do is start taking this drug during the day.  

You see I have never once taken this drug while i was working or during work.  I usually wait until i get home and then I take 50mg around 5:30, and then take 100mgs around 7:00.  

I noticed that this was becoming a problem when I realized that i was getting very anxious about getting home to take my first dose.  So i decided to get online and start doing some reading.  I found the journal entry somehow (thank God) and have been following it.    Since i have been back down to 150mg per day i have been feeling alot stronger mentally then i was at 300mgs per day so that does make me feel good.

I know now that it is time to stop taken this medication, but have been scared to face the unknown (WD's).  I have never been in full blown withdrawals and it worries me, but i also know that it is something that I must do for myself.  

I have aprox. 25 10/325 hydros from an old script.  I have considered just taken 1 50mg tramadol and start with 2 hydros for a couple of days.....  Drop the tramadol and then drop the hydro all together when it's done.  I don't know if that will lessen the withdrawals any.  I won't have to worry about picking up another habit b/c I have no way of getting hydros after this little batch is gone.  

Please chime in on anythoughts that you have.   This is my first time sharing this so I feel stupid, but that is just me.  

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 22, 2008


Good morning to my new friends.  My how I feel pathetic today.  Just a brief warning.  I apologize ahead of time for my whining today!!

SO HERE GOES THE FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF!  

This is very difficult..... always feeling like I have to apologize for being a pain in the behind!  

Ahem...... I am feeling quite shaky today.  I realize coming down from an extreme amount of pills down to 12-13 is going to cause this.  I must go out with my husband today to finish Christmas shopping at our PATHETIC mall!  I do not feel like spreading Christmas cheer and if someone smiles at me today, I may send daggers at them with my eyes!  I wish I was one that had all my presents purchased, wrapped and placed under the tree!  I am actually doing good to have gone out and purchased a real tree on my own and have it decorated two weeks prior!

I am feeling very touchy today..... can you tell?   My mother is coming to my house to watch my "toddler" and "tween" while I venture out today.  I guess I must warn my husband about the personality that he will be co-existing with today.  Very sensitive to noises as well.  UGH!  He is trying to be understanding through all of this.  I am very lucky to have a wonderful, honest, and hardworking spouse!  Uh-oh, I am being positive..... was wanting to continue with my "buh hum bug" attitude.  ANYWAY..... I hope I have not brought anyone down by my pessimism, but this is the only place I feel I can truly vent my feelings.  I do not understand why anyone enjoys shopping!  Maybe after I shake this, I will.  Uh,  everytime I here someone talk today, I wish I had a remote to turn the VOLUME DOWN!!

Thank you all for being in this room today!  Because of you all I have actually mustered up some positive energy and am smiling to you all!  


Much Love,
Hope

P.S.  I am planning to withdrawal "COLD TURKEY" soon.  I have to plan when I have several days off together, and will be stocking up on vitamins, etc.  I work 12 hour shifts 3x's per week at hospital...... so have to plan it just right!   I think I will talk to my mom  and maybe plan on her watching my children (hopefully without me feeling guilty!!)  Haven't figured out a date yet, but it will be soon!   I HAVE ALL OF YOU TO THANK FOR THIS DECISION TOO!   I think I am just about ready for COMBAT!!  In a strange sort of way, I am excited about this!   HUGS TO YOU ALL!!



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by HOPEreturns, Dec 22, 2008
1113,

Just read your post..... FIRST AND FAR MOST..... of all things, do not feel stupid.  You are absolutely not stupid.  You are strong for realizing the horrible effects of this pill so early!!  Thanks to you you have all of the sudden turned my horrible mood around!  I thank you for that!  I relate to you totally, as others in this room will to.

Sit back and take in some of the suggestions that these wonderful people in this room will give you.  I know I have been blessed by their support.  

CONGRATULATIONS for finding this room!  Thanks to these people in here and your strength, you will find peace again!

Hope

Avatar_f_tn
by emergee, Dec 22, 2008
dear 1113,
      i have some experience with vicodin vs.  tram.   i ended up taking it the first two nights after i jumped off.   i was not able to tolerate the restless legs which meant no sleeping and i found it allowed me to get good rest.   if you quit the tram ,  then you have 5 hydros per day for 5 days,  5 days being the worst of the withdrawals,  then you are done.   i think the hydros will really help you get through the most severe part.  it will not be easy.   i am probably close to 30 days and i am still dealing with it.  mostly low energy,  malaise,  headache in the afternoon.   it's not terrible at all now.   if you take the hydros and the tram at the same time ,  my feeling is that you will be "wasting" the hydros .  the whole point of the thomas recipe is to get you through the intolerable part.  some real drugs during that time help alot.   after that period, otc stuff,  aminos, vitamins,  homeopathic  get you through.
    
hope returns,  
      i want you to know that noise makes me INSANE,  people talking loudly make me insane,  i would not DREAM of going to a crowded mall,  or anyplace i can't escape quickly.   and as i said above,  i am getting close to 30 days.   the best thing you can do for yourself is be in surroundings where you can be entirely yourself.   in meltdown mode even.  i find for short periods having something i must do,  is a good thing,  as i have to concentrate and it takes my mind of my symptoms,  but in my experience you don't want to be stuck somewhere enduring something dreadful.   oh , and exercise, even if it is the last thing you want to do.  it will relieve symptoms for a time.  baths,  stupid movies,  rereading emilyposts.   and yes,  do write and complain,  you certainly must have noticed others doing it.  its wonderful really,  you never know who you will help,  someone will read it and feel better that you have gone through what they are going through.  

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by 1113, Dec 23, 2008
all thanks for the response....


emergee,  I have naver taken 5 hydos in one day that is way overboard for me :).  There have been weeks throughout this year where i have not taken the trams for about 3-4 days at a time and took 2-3 hydros instead.  Do you think that if i take the hydros that my body will be able to tell the difference between the two.   What i mean is will i be purging one chemical from my body while i am putting one back in.  i don't think that 2-3 hydro's a day will about a week will cause to much of a dependence, but what do i know.....   i have never been in this position before.

thanks for the advice.  i will begin this on the 26th.  i will not be back at work until Jan 2nd.  so hopefully by then i will be coming around.   thanks.

Avatar_f_tn
by emergee, Dec 23, 2008
1113
     i agree that taking the hydros for a short period won't create much dependance ,  at least in my experience it did not.  the sniffles,  maybe.  it can be overcome with exercise and distracting yourself.  but tram,  tram is another matter.  it is much more toxic to the body,  and has a wider reach throughout the brain and body.  it  creates much worse withdrawal and sickness.  so i am advocating using the hydros to get the past the suffering.   obviously take as little hydro as you can .  i am not recommending you take them ,  don't take any ,  if you don't need to.  i guess my point is,  to mix them both won't be getting you anywhere.  at least in my opinion,  and you have a terrific resource by having a stash of them,  that if you must go to work or function and you feel absolutely trashed,   you can do it.   it takes away some of the fear of suffering.  yes,  they are both opiates but i think they are so different and there is something in the tram that is poison poison poison.  hydros are practically organic compared to tram .  so the main thing is to get the tram OUT.   also i have said this before,  so forgive me if i am repeating myself,  but somehow i felt better jumping off than i did the days i tried to taper.  i think this is common.  it is difficult to explain.  for some reason i assumed you had a large habit and were experiencing terrible withdrawals .   that is why i said 5 hydros a day.   i was just kind of giving you a perspective.  
keep posting.  stay in touch. and read the thread when you jump off.  it becomes very interesting then!

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by Sweet_Daddy, Dec 24, 2008
I came across this site last night while I was looking to see if anyone else had problems with this b.s. tramadol, and wow, I can't believe everything I had read here.  I'll just start out by saying that I first took Tramadol 50's in April of 2007 and have been taking about 200mg or more every single day since then until last Sunday when I ran out of my script a week early, so gee, I wonder if I was taking more than what the Doc prescribed me (wink wink).  Well, I just have to tell everyone here that since 2000 I have done just about every illegal drug except for Meth or acid.  I use to snort heroin and cocaine together on a daily basis, I guess to self medicate my depression, I took Effexor during this time which made me want to kill myself anyway, I took ecstasy, drank alcohol for breakfast, and I quit ALL of that without the help of anyone and never looked back......the point is.....believe it or not when I say this, Tramadol is the absolute WORST withdrawal I have ever suffered through.  In my case, the last 3 days has been worse than stopping cocaine, heroin, alcohol, ecstasy, vicodin, percocet, oxycontin, norcos, effexor and anything else I tried, combined.

The first night I laid in bed sweating and shivering and kicking my legs around to alleviate the feeling of needles poking into my skin, and then at times I had to STOP kicking my legs as if to stop myself from hitting the needles that surrounded my body (if that makes sense) I changed my shirt 6 times after soaking them with sweat, I felt like puking, I laid in bed wondering how I have led such a useless life, scared for my future, the anxiety made me want to kill myself, but I have a 6 month old daughter that I love too much, I laid there kicking and sweating and suffering through the dizzy spells until 7 am when my baby woke up, and then all day I was so tired and irritable that whenever my daughter wanted something, I was angry, and it broke my heart and kicked off a severe depression.  The next night I was feeling the same anxiety and being scared and wanted to stab myself to alleviate the pins and needles and sweating and I took sleeping pills to MAKE me sleep and it didn't work, I stayed up all night again and during the day was irritable and depressed and angry that my little baby wanted something as little as to be fed or changed, and typing this now I want to go pick her up out of her crib and hug and kiss her sweet little face and tell her I'm sorry.  It's almost Christmas and the last two nights honestly felt like they were the last nights for me on earth, and I NEVER felt that coming off anything else I ever did. Anyway..... Tonight, December 23rd is gong to be the 3rd night, and I am happy to say that so far, the worst of my withdrawal seems to be over with for the time being.  Yes I am VERY dizzy when I stand up, like that of coming off an anti-depressant, but the sweating is gone, the pins and needles so far aren't stabbing my body and I actually am going to go down stairs and work out tonight.  I am very much into fitness, and when I first started with the Tramadol, it put me in a place where I felt like I was invincible at the gym, and slowly over the months it turned me into a lazy, profusely sweating all the time, worthless person, but I loved the high feeling it gave me even though I had to take more than I was supposed to.  I know I am hoping for a miracle to wish for the worst of the withdrawals to only last me a couple nights/days, but when I read some of the people here taking 10-15 pills a DAY, I feel like maybe it is possible for me to beat this thing.  If I can at least feel NORMAL the next coupld days, I won't be tempted to go refill my script on Friday, which is something that I have lost at in the past, I told myself I was done with Tramadol so many times before, and yet still it beat me and I refilled.  I just wanted to share my story with people here.  It comes in waves sometimes, but not nearly as bad as it was since Sunday.

Avatar_f_tn
by emergee, Dec 24, 2008
sweet daddy,
   wow, what a great post.  i love knowing that i kicked the baaaadest drug around.  i also love knowing all the gory details of all the different permutations of symptoms.  but i am so so sorry about your daughter,  that must be the worst of all,  not feeling like you can be a good, loving parent.  well, you probably know from reading all these posts that the T drug distorts your perceptions of yourself and generally makes us  really thrash ourselves.   i am still doing it at day 28.  the emotional symptoms are wierd and can go on for a while.  the good news is that there is stuff you can take to make you feel better.  i am sure you have seen all the lists of products.  the aminos do help.  i know i have always been sceptical of over the counter stuff , or homeopathic stuff ,  but i have found i was wrong.  oddly the most powerful thing for me was the homeopathic treatment for restless legs which it sounds like you have.  i was out of my mind with desperation and some angel posted it at 5 pm ,  just in time to run to the store and get it before it started hitting me .  working out is golden,  and so are hot baths , and the heating pad i used for several weeks for aches and chills.  keep posting.

Avatar_m_tn
by FinallyFred, Dec 24, 2008
22 Days TRAM-free - REALLY!

I know there are some right now who are planning to step off soon now.  Be brave and of good courage.  You will make it.

Today for me isn't all that remarkable an "anniversary" really, except that this evening, my deliverance hit home when I called in some other prescriptions...and tramadol wasn't on the list.  And that got my attention.

My health insurance  allows me  to call in prescriptions and then pick them up after 1 p.m. (two days later).  Tonight I called in my BP and statin prescriptions which  I  routinely take and I heard that familiar recorded voice instruct, "if you need your perscription filled before 1 p.m. (two days later), press 1"  My old nature thought, HELL YES...but I didn't  have to worry about pressing one tonight...for a change.  

Like so many others, my M.D. "started me out" on 1-2 50 mg tramadol/ day as a painless way to taper me off other opiates I took in the first weeks immediately following my surgery.  (THANKS DOC, ah... what's that phrase, "from the frying pan to the fire?" ).  I guess I ought to have paid closer attention to my doctor's phrase,  "START YOU OUT with 1-2 pills/day".  Because within a few years, I was taking well more than 8-10 pills a day.  Lovely thing that TOLLERANCE to this drug.

My doctor "approved" every refill, which is interesting considering I could have secured a mother load of the drug ONLINE without his blessing.  I am not REALLY sure why I never thought of that, except that I am fairly sure I wouldn't be here today if I had ventured OUT that way.  I guess is my higher power was watching out for me even before I knew I needed help.

My hip pain actually INCREASED over this time and I was finding that I had pain in multiple sites that never hurt before. (feet, legs, back, neck and arms)  WHAT?  I really thought at the time that I had "contracted"  fibromyalgia and the lying drug told me that it was mercifully HELPING ME by masking all these new pains for me.  THANK YOU TRAMADOL!   And all during this time, I never ONCE called in my tramadol prescription LATE.  Of course I would have called it in sooner, except taht I knew my doctor wouldn't approve it any sooner.  Yep, a glorious "on time record".  I ALWAYS needed it the next day.  I recall reading posts here from people who planned vacations around their supply of tramadol supply and when their next RX would be available for pick up.  That was definately me too.  

Tonight calling in my BPs and statins reminded me how dreadfully wrapped around this tramadol I was - only days ago.  But today, I didn't need to press "1" and tell the pharmacist how badly I had to have my drug ready for me in the morning.  Tomorrow, I won't need to call the pharmacist every hour to see whether the approval came in.  Tomorrow, I won't need to drive to the pharmacy and worry whether my tramadol prescription has been "approved" or whether it will be there waiting when I arrive.  Tomorrow, my doctor could be out on vacation or jut plain busy and I won't worry about it.  Tomorrow, I won't need to worry about standing in the middle of the pharmacy and making a scene if it's not ready.   Tomorrow, I won't need to explain to the "on call nurse" why I can't sleep without my drug so I can get an "emergency supply"  and neither will I get to turn around and go home without tramadol, to face a night of forced withdawal.  I did ALL of these things MANY MANY MANY times during my  six year "love afair" with this drug.  Maybe I am the only person here who led this crazy tramadol life,  though I suspect not.

AND THEN just a few short weeks ago,

I realized that I have a CHOICE.

I REALIZED - that which seemed * IMPOSSIBLE*

SUDDENLY seemed *POSSIBLE*

Because others here  showed me that this POWERFUL drug need no longer hold it's sway over me any longer.  And I wept.

In one of my EARLIEST POSTS here I remember talking about my WIN-LOSS record with this drug over the last six years.  I estimated that @ 365 days in a year, over the six years I had been on tramdaol, my win-loss record wasn't great.  I recall including some days of my "drastic tapering" to beef up my stats.  Even so, my record over the six years was exactly 7 wins and 2,190 losses.   Unimpressive to be sure.  But I became convinced that my "today" need NOT be connected to the past.  And yes, I wept at the possibility.  

My plan was pretty simple and if it worked for me, it could work for you too:  (1)  I read what others who have kicked this drug have done and I DID WHAT THEY DID (for me, that meant POURING over and over ever word that others here had written, (2) I determined that this was going to be a short term, painful process akin to WAR and I did what Emily suggested, I saw that pain as bringing me one moment closer to the drug FINALLY leaving my body, (3) I posted like a mad man to keep myself busy and to focus my resolve, and (4) I didn't put any pills in my mouth between postings.

That's the no frills plan.  You can dress it up or strip it down.  You can try to make it less painful.  You can try and taper and hope you don't start back up again before you quit. (and God bless you if you can make that work).   And honestly, I am sure some here have REALLY good ways to make this less painful.  But I just don't think you will get out as easily as you got in.  And if you are looking for a painless way to beat this thing from the start, ...well, I think you know in your heart where I am going with that one...

My win-loss record still isn't wonderful.  If I were a footbal team, I'd have been laughed out of the stadium long ago.  But tonight, a day at a time, my record is Fred (about) 30 - Team Tramadol  (still ONLY) 2,190.   And every day I don't put tramadol in my mouth - it's a great day.  

So  I'll keep hanging out in this room and telling you things you already know.  

I love you guys.

Fred

Avatar_m_tn
by FinallyFred, Dec 24, 2008
sweet daddy,  I just read your  post.  I think that it is helpful for people to hear the relative difficulty getting off this drug compared to others you mentioned.  

I can ABSOLUTELY relate to the withdrawal you have been feeling man.  Yes, unfortunately it's not until we run out of our script that we find out what a powerful drug this this is. And to imagine the doctors pass it out as the  the "kinder gentler" alternative to other opiates. HA  but we know better.

Sweetness, I would STRONGLY encourage you to hang in there for just another few days and you will get through the wost of this thing.  I am not certain that it is all down hill from here for you, but it certainly won't get any WORSE than what you hvae already gone through.   You have gone through too much already since Sunday to throw it all away and be left only to start all over one day down the road, when your tolerance and probably dosage, and length of time on the drug will do nothing but make it more difficult to withdraw from - down the road.  

Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.  You will find a great deal of helpful loving people posting here, who know what this is like to get through.  Fred



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by EmilyPost, Dec 24, 2008
Sweet Daddy;

You wrote,

"I laid in bed wondering how I have led such a useless life, scared for my future, the anxiety made me want to kill myself,"

and

"The next night I was feeling the same anxiety and being scared and wanted to stab myself to alleviate the pins and needles and sweating"

Yep. I read those words and have an acute steady memory of days one and two. Yep. I remember it. It was the worst withdrawal I have ever experienced and made me HATE Tramadol wth a red hot fiery passion. I really would rather eat rat poison than ever take Tramadol again. There's just no way i would ever be able to get thru it again.

Unlike many people here, I didn't try to quit purposefully because I HONESTLY thought it was safe and it was NOT the problem drug. Which is why I did things like taper off everything except the Tramadol ... and then wonder ... "wth?" .... It did not occur to me that I was keeping the ONE drug in me that was killing me because I could NOT find anyone who told me it was dangerous.

Yes. It is. Dangerous

You also wrote,

"If I can at least feel NORMAL the next couple days, I won't be tempted to go refill my script on Friday, which is something that I have lost at in the past, I told myself I was done with Tramadol so many times before, and yet still it beat me and I refilled."

I know I am chopping you all up here. But really this will be your third night. By Friday I am hoping you remember things like wanting to kill yourself from anxiety and stab yourself in the legs  .BOTH of which I went thru in spades in early withdrawal. It was almost ultimately exhausting.

I think it is so crazy that it even occurs to a human being that stabbing themselves will make it feel better but ... there it is.

I noticed you named yourself Sweet Daddy and I know that the best thing you can do for your daughter is never have to go thru Tramadol withdrawal ever again. Don't refill. Walk away from your own certain death. This drug is a killer in a cup of cherry koolaid.

Also of course your story ...

You write, " Well, I just have to tell everyone here that since 2000 I have done just about every illegal drug except for Meth or acid.  I use to snort heroin and cocaine together on a daily basis, I guess to self medicate my depression, I took Effexor during this time which made me want to kill myself anyway, I took ecstasy, drank alcohol for breakfast, and I quit ALL of that without the help of anyone and never looked back......the point is.....believe it or not when I say this, Tramadol is the absolute WORST withdrawal I have ever suffered through.  In my case, the last 3 days has been worse than stopping cocaine, heroin, alcohol, ecstasy, vicodin, percocet, oxycontin, norcos, effexor and anything else I tried, combined"

It's unbelievable to most people, but  know you are telling the truth.

For me; Stopping codeine, Darvoset, Percoset, Vicodin. soma, the other useless muscle relaxants, the Xanax, the Ativan (which honestly had no effect on me at all, It was like taking a placebo) and even the two months it took me to stop taking Klonopin the first time ... morphine, the antidepressants, the trigger point shots, the tranquilizers, the steroid 5-7 day tapers. All of what I have gone thru since I started trying to manage "chronic pain." all of it was less horrifying that Tramadol.

Tramadol took my name, kicked my butt and honestly I don't have it in me to do another 3 days of that intense withdrawal. I am certain it would kill me.

I hope you know people name themselves here in really interesting ways. You want to be a Sweet Daddy to your little girl. I know you do. I actually think that you'll make it. You quit all the other stuff cause you figured out it was b.s.  

I think Tramadol is the King Pin Pill of b.s.

I hope you do know how much telling us your story helps us.

And I hope you post more.

Love and Healing,
Emily

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by Sweet_Daddy, Dec 24, 2008
You guys are awesome to answer my post so quickly.  Here's the update: It's Christmas eve at exactly 8:13 am as I'm typing this.  I haven't slept at all since my last post, but it wasn't because of the withdrawals this time.  I actually took a 5 hour energy like a moron at 10 pm and then got on my elliptical at around 2 am or so, whenever it was after my first post, and I felt so damn good after that, I went outside and took a shovel to the entire driveway and got it perfect and ready for the next snow storm  we're getting today.  I got a few hot flashes, but the only sweating I got was from the excercise.  Now, I don't want to jump the gun and make the claim that I'm cured, because I know damn well that I'm going to get the urge to sit down at my keyboard (I'm a musician) and want that good feeling that I used to get when I first started taking these damn things in the first place, but I really think that my last few days of agony is finally going to keep me from going through with it.  This morning, my little baby woke up and I went upstairs and fed her and hugged her, brought her down with me, put her in her jumperoo, watched a winnie the pooh Christmas special and now she's taking a nap already, ha. No irritability, no anger, nothing, just a little tired and weak.  I wish I could fall asleep, but I have an 8 hour drive to Michigan to see my mom for Christmas, so I don't see a nap in my future.  I'm glad I was able to workout again, my avatar is a picture of me at the gym at the beginning of my days of Tramadol, before it slowly turned on me.  I still look pretty decent, but now I'm hoping to actually feel good again, and not hate myself and hate everything I do.  That might be a different story tho...

I feel like after going through this and reading about other people, that there was someone's *** that I could kick...but sadly, there are probably way too many ***** responsible to be kicked efficiently enough to make me happy.

More later....a big thanks to you guys, I'll give more updates.

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by 1113, Dec 24, 2008
sweet daddy....  good for you man.  keep your head up and keep truckin.  I think that you are going to be all right.  Just remember this in a few weeks time from now when you've been clean for a while and your mind starts trying to play tricks on you.....


all,  last night I only took 100mgs of tram.  am i still on the drug.....   YES.  Have I cut my dose by more then half.  YES.  do i feel a hell of a lot better.  YES.  i don't have this pressure type fog feeling in my head.  As a matter of fact I haven't had it for the past couple of days.   Did i use any hydros last night.  NO.  

I am so ready to get back to the way that i used to be without drugs, but i have made up my mind that I am going to not rush things, but i am going to get off of this drug on my terms, which is tappering.  Hell if this keeps up then maybe i won't even have to take any of the hydro's.  

I'll just stock up on the Hyland's leg cramps and go from there.  I don't like the anxiety either, but i think that I can handle it.  


Good luck to all fighting the tram fight, and May God Bless us and show us his presence in our time of need.  

Merry Christmas.

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by FinallyFred, Dec 24, 2008
Sweet Daddy,

You said it so well, "I know damn well that I'm going to get the urge to sit down at my keyboard (I'm a musician) and want that good feeling that I used to get when I first started taking these damn things in the first place, but I really think that my last few days of agony is finally going to keep me from going through with it".  

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't like the affect that tramadol had on me.  I don't play the keyboards, but I do play guitar...and I love to garden...and I take pride in my ability to practice law.  And YES, I felt that my ability to perform any of these things was ENHANCED by the drug tramadol.   Hell, I took it for six years.  But looking back, I think I was always restless, irritable and discontented unless I could again experience that sense of ease and comfort that tramadol promised me...yet never seemed to deliver unless I took MORE AND MORE of the drug.   Lying rat poisen tramadol.

This is a progressive disease.  It will continue to take MORE AND MORE of you over time and it delivers less and less in return.  I know that I may come across as way to zealous at wanting to see people STOP.  I only know that I have put myself through far too many partial withdrawals from this drug over the years, to think that withdrawing becomes any easier if I resume taking  this drug ever again.   Like Emily has said, (parphrase) I don't know if I have another quit left in me.  So yes, try to hold on to the agony you are experiencing now...and may it serve notice if/when you may begin to think that this drug can EVER AGAIN be tolerated to enahnce and not destroy your life ever again.  

113, you said, "I am so ready to get back to the way that i used to be without drugs, but i have made up my mind that I am going to not rush things, but i am going to get off of this drug on my terms, which is tappering."   BRAVO.  You have determined to beat this addiction and that DETERMINATION is the key.  I know full well that cold turkey doesn't work for everyone.  Your goal is to be done with this drug and that is what's important...determination.

May the miracle of Christmas continue to empower us all with the belief that POSSIBILITY can rise from the ruin and ashes of our lives as a phoenix to better days ahead.  

I was thinking just a few days ago that we have just now PASSED  the Winter Solstice...the darkest, shortest day of the year.  I pray that the sybolism is not lost on any of us...longer, better days are ahead for us all, as we are willing to work for what we must have, FREEDOM.  

Fred

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by kevzx81, Dec 24, 2008
Well folks, day 3 of my taper, down from 3x50mg a day to 3x35mg.
Fairly plain sailing so far; just some mental fuzziness (I've corrected several mistakes already while writing this!).
Early days still, fingers crossed......



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by kevzx81, Dec 24, 2008
and to Fred, well done. any team managing 20some straight wins deserves some front page praise!
Go team Fred........

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 24, 2008
Sweet Daddy,

I have to say congratulations for making it thru the worst of the withdrawals....... don't look back..... keep on going forward!!  You are being so strong!!!  The individuals in this room can attest that you will not regret ditching the trams!!  I am weening from an enourmous dose because I had a horrible seizure due to my "self medicating".  (Sorry for those who are hearing this again) I want to be off of the horrible things NOW!

YOU are doing the right thing!

It was meant for you to find this wonderful site that our "ANGEL" Emily has started.  WELCOME ABOARD!

Your baby girl is lucky to have such a loving and strong Daddy!  

EVERYONE......... I hope you have a very Merry Christmas. The caring support and suggestions you have given to me is the best Christmas gift I could ever ask for.  

Love to all,
Hope

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by IzzWizz, Dec 24, 2008
Day 13 for me and all is well. I think if santa was to climb down my chimney tonight he would be sorely disappointed as he would find me awake and waiting. Sleep is still a big problem for me but that problem pales into nothingness when up against the dearly deparated symptoms of withdrawals.

I send highest regards to everyone and wish us all a peaceful and clear christmas. So much clearer then last year for many anyway. 2009 will be a good year..plenty of winning!

Love to all :)

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by suzipen, Dec 24, 2008
Hi Everyone!
I havent posted here for awhile. I have had a lot going on (like all of us, I'm sure). My moms health is bad, and my husband got laid off work. Yuck.   BUT......I am keeping a positive attitude. Someone sent the Serenity prayer to one of my journal posts, and it was a great reminder.

It is Christmas Eve, and I am waiting to go play Santa, and put all the presents out. (I have a 6 & 7 year old who have been trying to go to sleep, but keep waiting to hear the patter on the roof)  Oh, wait, I think they're both asleep!  My 14 year old loves to help me.

   I have spent quite awhile catching up on posts here. Wow!  There is so much greatness in this room. It  brings me comfort to know you guys are here, whenever.

To Sweetdaddy-  
Welcome, and congrats on your progress. If you make it thru the beginning, then you will be fine.
I understand so much about your baby.  My children have been my biggest concern thruout all of this.  I always thought I was being a better , funnier, nicer, more energetic, blah blah blah person while on tramadol. But as you've heard, it is all a lie.   My kids suffered thru my addiction. My mood swings, irritability, laziness(sometimes) all took its toll on my family. NOW- I am giving us all a fresh start. I want to be the person I was 6 years ago. And i will be!   And you will too.
Your baby girl is getting a fresh start too, so cherish these times with her. They grow up so fast, and you should feel happy you are getting off this "horrible life stealer" while she is still so young. I wish you the best. Keep us posted!

To Fred-
When I was younger, my passion was to practice law. It never came to pass, but it was a dream along time ago . Just thought I'd share that. Also, I love reading your posts. They inspire me so much.

To All-
I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. We all deserve to enjoy this wonderful day.

For those tapering-  STAY STRONG, and know this will be your last Christmas with the demon drug!

To those off of tram-  WOW! Wont it be nice to not be worrying about your next dose?  I, personally, wont have to sneak off to get my 2nd and 3rd doses out of my purse without anyone noticing.  That feels good.
                                                  NO TRAMADOL on CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

Merry,Merry Christmas to all of you special people here!

sincerely,suzi







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by HOPEreturns, Dec 25, 2008
Just completed my "Santa" duties.  Cannot sleep. Very irritable.  It's frustrating to have these little mood fluctuations!  I have decreased my dosage a little more.  I talked to my Mom this evening and arranged for her to keep my children on January 28th - 31st  That is when I have my next four days off in a row.  I have already purchased my "Thomas Recipe" supplements.  My mom is aware of my issue, but doesnt know just exactly how many tabs I was taking.  I will continue to wean down, but on Jan 28th....... no matter how many I am at...... COLD TURKEY DAY!  I am dreading this day and anxious for this day to get here at the same time.  The only problem is Day 5, I go back to work.  I can't be feeling like ****.  I have to take care of patients.  I am hoping the supplements are going to help me do okay at work.  I feel guilty that I will not be around my kids for that long, but I know this has to be done!  I have also told my husband as well.  

Again.... MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!

Much love!
Hope



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by suzipen, Dec 25, 2008
Hi Hope-
I wish you much luck on your "jump off". I can soooo relate to feeling anxious and scared at the same time. Thats  how I felt.  Youre going to go thru a transformation, and while it can su*k for a few days, it will be soon be a positive thing.
You are blessed to have someone taking care of your kids for you during that time. (I would have loved that)  And dont feel guilty- you're doing this for them as well as yourself.
Just KNOW that all the yucky stuff will pass, and you will survive it.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,
suzi  

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 25, 2008

Suzi... was thinkin about the comment you made.... "sneekin" off to your purse for another dose.

I completlely understand that one!  I am ashamed to say that I have even put my pills in a "travel size" TYLENOL bottle, and carried in my purse.   This way, when I was around people, and needed my fix..... I could complain about my "nagging" headache, and take a few tylenol... wink, wink.

I have always been disgusted by people that were sneeky liars!  This drug has caused me to become this way!  I cannot wait to be rid of this disgusting DEVIL DRUG!

I so appreciate your prayers.  How did you do coming off of this stuff??  I am happy for you.... that you are FREE from this!  Thank you much for being so thoughtful!!

Hope






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by kevzx81, Dec 26, 2008
Day 5.
The anxiety and emotional outbursts got worse yesterday, but nothing like as bad as when I did CT.
Not a great nights sleep, twitchy and a bit nauseous but all in all I think I'm winning so far.
Other than the horrid anxiety I'm coping ok.
I put my post-it notes up around the house again yesterday....ITS THE TRAMADOL TALKING!
Hard luck Tramadol; this time you wont catch me off guard.......

Keep up the good fight everyone, I really hope everyone here was able to take some joy in xmas despite being in a war zone!



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by FinallyFred, Dec 27, 2008
I survied the crazy relatives over Christmas, wheew!  Done for another year!  And just in time because I feel a SLIGHT rant coming on.

A paragraph in Emily's first post here keeps catching my eye, "Tramadol is more complex than other opiate and opiate-like medications because it also appears to have actions on the GABAergic, noradrenergic, and serotonergic systems in the brain. This may cause some people feel additional withdrawal symptoms or intensified psychological withdrawal symptoms when discontinuing tramadol".    

Yeah right. It's all that "psychological withdrawal" that caused me to stay up for the better part of four days as I tossed and turned in pain.  And it must have been a MENTAL DEFECT that caused those lovely "pins and needles" in my FEET  and every single person I have known, who has gone through withdrawal from this drug.  And the alternating chills and FEVERS? - I guess that was also caused by my addictive personality and not the potancy of tramadol itself.

NOT!

And the other flu like symptoms like nausia,  gripping stomach aches, indegestion, loose bowls, headaches, and overall physical weakness were caused by my weak mind too I suppose.  Except isn't it odd that regardless of where we live, who we are, what sort of personality we have, what vocation we may have, how old we are and even how long we took this drug, our SYMPTOMS ARE NEARLY IDENTICAL one to another?  

It is also odd that for most of us, a "craving for this drug" wasn't what made withdrawing from tramadol tough, but rather it was the constellation of the above symptoms which made each of us feel like giving in and taking tramadol again, to stop the suffering we experienced when we tried to get off this stuff.

We haven't even begun to discuss the so called psychological symptoms (being emotional, that foggy feeling, feeling unbalanced, etc.), but those symptoms too seem common during withdrawal from this drug.  

Nope, I am not buying any of the warnings about this PSYCHOLOGICAL withdrawal stuff...it's physical withdrawal period.  I suppose it is just too much to expect honesty in advertising or even warnings.  

The GOOD news is that these withdrawal symptoms won't last forever, or even much past 4-5 days.  And for this boy, it was worth going through a few days of hell to be done with this bad bad drug.  

The Close Call:

We REALLY do need one another here though.  A few days ago, I discovered a comment to one of my journal entires, that another member  had posted 3-4 days before that.  I had made a comment in a journal entry about keeping some of my remaining tramadol around to remind me of what I had been through.  Or maybe I just thought I might get in a really bad auto accident and need them again one day.  WHAAAT?  So a friend here suggested that I may want to flush them.  

If I had read her post when she posted it, I am not certain how important it may have been to me.  Except that 3-4 days after she posted that message, I actually had a fleeting thought that maybe it would be OK to take 200 MG of tramadol just one time.  Well, the thought passed without taking action on it, but when I read her post a few hours later, it sent chills up my spine.  So I went directly to my medince cabinet and FLUSHED those suckers.  (Thank you Suzi)

Now I am wondering why the heck I didn't flush those down the toilet a long time ago.  But looking back, I can see great wisdom in not keeping any of these rat pills around for any reason.  So I suppose that NOW, you all will just need to put up with OLD Fred talking not only about the value of cold turkey withdrawal, but about the importance of flushing as well.

:)

Regrettably, MOST all of what I have learned in life has come to me by the mistakes (or in this case, a near mistake) that I have made.  Our sobriety is indeed so very fragile.

Courage and strength to you all.  Fred

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by Organica, Dec 27, 2008
Hi Fred.. Not sure what you are saying about psychological withdrawal... the drug has a huge effect on the psyche... I am finding that, with tapering, the physical withdrawals are much, much easier, but the head stuff is still agony.
I'm not writing more now, as I am really, really ill - have been for about a week.. it is the virus from hell and I can't shake it. Also way down on the T's. So not up to writing much.
love, everyone,
Sue

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 27, 2008
I know what psycholigcal withdrawal is..... and I know what physical withdrawal is..... THIS DRUG has some big times physical withdrawals..... The phsycholical withdrawals are so familiar to me becuase I have battle depression as far back as I can remember.  I do experience depression as I decrease these little suckers!!  I can remember being 12 or 13 yrs old and just being sad......  for no reason as all.....I thought this was normal for everybody.  After the age of 18, I realized that maybe this wasnt normal for everyone.  I hate it when I depression episodes because.... My logically my mind tells me that I have a very good like and I should be enjoying every minute of it!  There are people out there that have things far worse than I could even imagine.  To me... depression would seem more logical.  LET ME TELL YOU.... this is a depression that no matter what I tell myself, it DOES NOT GO AWAY!  I haven't been that way for about three years now.  THANK GOD!  I had times where I could not get out of bed.... But I cope and try to realize that if I didnt have the depression... I probably wouldnt appreciate my "Happy" days.

SUE... I hope you feel better soon!!

LOVE AND SMILES
Hope

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 27, 2008
SORRY to all of you trying to read my "mess" of a post.... MY 2 1/2 year old was screaming as she was climbing all over me while I attempted to type.

Hope

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by kevzx81, Dec 28, 2008
Hi everyone. Not a great day for me toady, the chemical anxiety is still following me around and I'm feeling  worn out by it. Also its spoiling my sleep. DOUBLE WHAMMY !!

Fred: I think I hear what you're saying? Use of the word ' psychological ' to describe the symptoms we are having is misleading given this words common usage. There is an inherent implication that it is our minds producing these symptoms and not the Tramadol. ( as you rightly assert.)
This makes the word ' psychological ' an invalidating term in this context.
Thanks for that Fred, it is'nt something I had noticed until you mentioned it.
Once again your lucidity has benefitted us all!

Brain fog is making this hard work, its taken me nearly 15 mins to type this in!!!

Hope: If I had a 2 1/2 yrold climbing  all over me this would not have gotten written at all!!
You must have awesome patience, awesome typing skills, or both!!

Where was I ? I CANT REMEMBER !

Make tea...summom memory......

Keep up the good work everyone, thanks for ALL your posts.When its 4am and I cant sleep and the anxiety is nagging me its a  great source of comfort to log on and hear what everyone is saying.

Still lots of strength and courage in the room...WELL DONE TO US ALL.......




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by HOPEreturns, Dec 28, 2008
Hi Kev,

I am praying for you and your strength to continue!  Try to remember.... tomorrow will be here before you know it.  A new day.  That's one more day that you have "under your belt".  

As far as my 2 1/2 year old..... that is why I am having to decrease my intake of trams slowly.  If I went cold turkey I would have a big mess on my hands.  I have a twelve year old as well.  She is at that vulnerable age!  I am always worried that I am going to do something that will negatively effect them for the rest of their lives!  UGH!   My body would probably go into major SHOCK if I didn't put so much pressure on myself!  

Like I said... I was taking an enormous amt of these pills. I guess I thought I was invincible.  My body sure told me otherwise!  I wish I could say that I became addicted just physically by accident.  I liked myself in the beginning on Tramadol..... I didn't worry so much about being perfect and I felt I could just get sooooo much done.  I felt like I could concentrate better while under the influence.  YES, these suckers turned on me!  Having the personality traits that I have, I thought if one made me feel this good....MORE WILL BE BETTER!  Lets add another.......... and another...... and another.  

I have so many things to be thankful for.... a wonderful husband.  He doesnt drink or take drugs.  He doesn't have any addictions that I know about......... I have two wonderful stepsons, and two beautiful daughters....... ( UH OH!  My two year old has entered the room!) HA!..........Anyway..... I have to add that I LOVE MY JOB.  I feed off of the energy of others and its sounds sort of cliche', but I love helping people.  That is why I get so aggravated that I have suffered from horrible depression as well as addiction to meds.

I give thanks each and every day for having each of you to talk to.  I send many many prayers to you all!  

LOVE TO ALL!
Hope




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by shaffekl, Dec 28, 2008
Three weeks tramadol free!  The withdrawals are pretty much gone but the emotional swings.  I am still having problems with my eye sight.  I always though it was the trams that were causing blurred vision but I am still having problems with my sight.  Has anybody else have any thoughts about the effects tramadol might have on ones sight.  I have never had problems with my sight until now.  Wierd, I know.  

One day at a time!  

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by Organica, Dec 28, 2008
shaffekl, My eyesight went down badly. I went to the optometrist who said my eyes are very, very dry. This could be a side effect and could be ongoing as I seem to have developed sjoren's disease - an autoimmune disease that dries the eyes and mouth, and can effect the organs.  See if using eye-drops helps you - I use the 'gooey' ones that feel odd at first but last a lot longer. I put them in first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

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by needhelp4me434, Dec 28, 2008
hello all, it's coleen

i found another withdraw symptom. loss of memory. i guess i posted somewhere else. i finally found my way back to ya'll. thank god.but i'm still not sure how to get to this post. do i just go to emily's journal.

i'm still tramadol free. it's been about 2 weeks.maybe 3, like i said my memory went somewhere.

i'm confused about a few things.

did any of ya'll suffer from insomia.
organica, i think i got the animo acid cocktails from your site. one that was recommened was l- trysine or something. it's the one that gives you energy. anyway, can that one cause insomia

also. i'm having trouble finding post about abilify does anyone know if this can cause me to have trouble sleeping.

the strange thing is i don't feel tired. i think abilify can cause hypomania. could i have this problem

or is this all a part of the tramadol.

i tried ambien, did'nt work. i just took 6mgs of  melatonin..

outside of not being able to sleep,i don't have mech of an appitite

so here i sit tonight trying to figure out this mess i'm in.

my depression has lifted. this was the worse expierence of my entire life. the dr told me to take abilify to lift   the depression. so here i am wondering if i stop it will the depression come back

at the same time i started that one amino acid. if i stop it will the depression come back

or is this all to do with comming off tramadol.

tomorrow i'll call my dr and tell her i want stop the abilify to see if that's what is causing the problem, then not take the animo acid. the worse case would be the depression comes back and i'll just start back  on those pills.

something is helping with my overall mood.which again is hard to figure out what has helped, is it the pills or simply just being off tramadol.

maybe it's a rebound from the ambien. i quit taking it cause it did'nt seems to help and 1 less drug suits me fine.

something inside of me says it's the tramadol.

i have so much anger over tramadol. it's almost like a rage. i'm thanking ya'll and a higher power for helping me thur the worse of it all. and am thankful i don't crave this flipping drug. but i have to work thur the anger. this must be another withdraw symptom.

outside of all this. i'm ok.

i feel the loss of my father as

the memories come floating back.  but at least i let myself feel the pain and work thur it. i suspose having dealt with
death and dying for 20 years i just got used to stuffing the grief

my father was creamated and buried at my mother's gravesite. she passed away in 68. my father sold his plot when he remarried.my father is a ww2vet. this entilted him to a miltary burial plaque. the cemetary was kind enough to allow us to place him with my mom and said they would place the plaque at the foot of her site. so the other day i decieded to go check that the plaque had been placed and see how it looked. i get over there and there's no plaque.  i was headed to the office to ask about it when my eyes caught site of an area that had recently been cleared, i walked over and they had placed my dad's plaque with some one called harvey. i could'nt help but laugh when i siently said to myself self, daddy is this some kind of joke, what are you doing hanging out with harvey, who is also a ww2 vet when you're suspose to be over there with mama. how can the next generation of kin find you if you're down here with harvey. i have no clue how this mix up happened. we're polish and have a very polish last name. how could they miss that. but they said they would fix it. and i'm sure they will. i know if there's a heaven and i believe there is , my father was laughing like crazy when i found his plaque down there with harvey. that's the kind of humor my dad had and that's what i miss most his humor.

i know i'm rambleing on, but i can't sleep. it's 1230 here in o town fla. can't call anyone, hubby is asleep. he's back from overseas. it's helped having him back. being alone after tramadol is not a good nor safe thing to do.

another issue is the same as some of ya'll have. blurred vision and dry eyes, but then again, abilify can cause this.

my shoulder and neck pain is back 110%i'm sure this is also rebound.

my head feel funnysometimes like i just got off a fast merry go round. the headaches are bad. but i'm still thankful i don't have to take the little  white demon today

and if there's any truth to life being all about learning lessons then i got an A  in this lesson. .

for those of you trying to stop this drug, my heart goes out to you, to those of you, who like me are struggleing with the aftermath of this drug, i'm there with you. i know we will be winners in this war with tramadol. we are blessed to have found one another and are sharing the same common ground as we all expierence the miracle of recovery.
i hope i can remember how to get back to this site. if i put it in my favoriate place would that be easier and what is this site called.

i'll be back coleen


.






Avatar_m_tn
by ultrapest2, Dec 29, 2008
First I lost my password for my former username of "Ultrapest", so here I am as Ultrapest2. I also couldn't link back to this page, the URL is huge. Thanks to Finally Fred for sending it to me, and thanks to Emergee for asking about my wellbeing. I would have sent a reply, but apparently I needed a password to do so, and that went MIA for a week. So, now I think I'm good.
I found this page last week accidentally after looking hard for help with my Tramadol addiction. It's so easy to get online because it's not classified as a narcotic, but we all know it should be. My first post was rather short, and didn't quite explain how I got to be where I am, so here goes my story. Bear with me folks, but I think I need to share me secret with you as i never told anyone.
     Back in 1995 I was 26. I got so sick with Bronchitis I went to see my doctor. I remember him saying I'm going to give you a narcotic for your cough. I figured it would be Phernagan, but it was Hycodan. I filled it and took it for my cough. I got up off the couch and the Hydrocodone hit me. Holy **** I was high, not wasted but nicely buzzed, and it was a hell of a-lot better than a few beers. I had 4 oz left, and a refill. I was immediately addicted. I'd take the cough medicine only after 8 or 9 pm, never during the day. When that was gone I dipped into my percocet that I got from my dentist months before. I always could get Vicoden, Percocet, Percodan easily through doctor friends of mine, and that lasted until early 1999. I got into some trouble (nothing illegal) and stopped narcotics all together until I hurt my back a few years later andI was prescribed Percocet again. I asked for a non narcotic pain reliever because I wanted nothing to do with them any more. Well, Dumb Dumb gave me Ultram. His exact words were they're not a narcotic, and I will not have any problems. He gave me 90 with a-lot of refills. I think I got addicted in a few weeks but didn't know it until probably a full year later. I ran out. I remember having the feeling I was crawling out of my skin, my legs and arms were jumping around all night, and I couldn't stop urinating all night. I didn't crave Ultram but I knew what was going on. I think the next day I had them overnighted to me, and have been taking them increasingly ever since. I started with maybe 2-50mg tabs at night only, and over about 18 months increased my dosage to 300mg at a time (6 pills). The maximum per day is 400mg (8 pills). I've taken 19 pills in a day a few times. I rrealized I was getting out of control, so I've become accustomed to 600mg (12 pills) for a long time. Now I'm down to between 6 and 8 per day, and I can sleep, function etc.
     8 Ultram per day isn't good enough. I want to be done with these things forever. I originally wanted to go cold turkey on December 18, but I knew what I was in for. So I tried 200mg early in the day which was fine, but they wore off, and i didn't have any more, and I withdrew like crazy. The next day I researched more and learned that Kratom could help with withdrawal. Well that was a waste of time as all it did was make me nauseated all night, and I still had the spasms in my arms and legs although I did sleep maybe 2 hours.
     Did anyone out there ever try tapering? How do I do it, and for how long? I just took 400mg an hour ago. I know I'll sleep for the next 6 hours until the kids wake up. I look at others and I'm so jealous that they can sleep and function without any addiction controlling them. I'm so grateful to this active forum. Too bad I have no idea how to navigate the page. I didn't know that so many of us are in the same situation. Heck, if I could quit smoking I could do this too. Smoking was walk in the park compared to Ultram. Unfortunately right now is the perfect time for me to quit. I just lost my job last month because they said they couldn't afford me anymore. Well that's what I get for doing a good job and actually helping that place make a few $$$ in this nasty market. Any help would be appreciated. I have every intention on being a regular contributer to this site. I can't express my gratitude that it exists. A belated Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah etc to each of you. May y 2009 become a success for each and every one of us, and may it be our best year ever.
Sincerely::: Dom


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by emergee, Dec 29, 2008
ultrapest,
   it's really late and i'm falling asleep but i wanted you to know you are heard and taken seriously.   there are a couple of people who post and are tapering.  many who post jumped off ct.  perhaps it's a personality type.  honestly i think the best therapy is reading this whole thread.  then going to emilypost first journals and reading all of it.  there is a ton of information on all sorts of different angles.  there are different ways to quit and different things that help people.  but information is power i find.  the more you find out the better able to deal with your situation you will be  you will deal with it,  you know that already.  the fact you don't have a job benefits you in terms of quitting.  you can devote yourself to it.   i did.  i don't know how people work and have children etc while wd-ing.   sorry this is short .  keep posting.  it helps everybody.   i am so glad you found this thread again.  

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by madtram, Dec 29, 2008
Deari Colleen,
Insomnia is a very common problem with tramadol withdrawal.  It was by far the worst side effect I had.  Lunesta did work to put me to sleep when nothing else would.  I tried melatonin, passion flower, valerian, chinese herbs, 5htp & meditating, none of which helped at all although they have worked for others in withdrawal.
I suspect that taking the sleeping med delayed my recovery as it acts on the GABA neurotransmitters which may also be altered by tramadol, however, I just couldn't cope with being up all night.  
I became obsessed with not sleeping & was terrified that normal sleep was gone for good but eventually one day I fell asleep in less than an hour & have been fine ever since.
If I had to do it again, I think I would try to take a week off work & try to get through the worst of the insomnia or only take sleep meds for short period & taper off them.
Tyrosine helps to form the stimulatory brain chemicals so I would only take it in the morning.

Avatar_n_tn
by anon303, Dec 29, 2008
My advise....try to taper. If you are going cold turkey because you ran out and cannot find a legal way to get it or if your illegal way is too expensive, go see a Doctor and come clean. Tell them you are in withdrawal, just do it. No decent Dr. will let you suffer. I know they are the same dopes that told us we would not be addicted but if you come clean, they will help. I did cold turkey for about 3 days and it paralyzed me. I am a 35 year old guy in great shape and it reduced me to a puddle of mud which I think made me feel even more like a peice of garbage then I alreday did for being in this mess to begin with. Trust me, I cant tell anyone about this, no family, no friends, nobody. So I know how you feel. If you want to do cold turkey because you don't want to prolong the agony, why? Why when you can feel "normal" and slowly get better. If you ran out, I can understand not wanting to get more but trust me. Each day take less, just a little, deal with some symptoms for an hour or two> When it gets bad take some, try to get an extra hour out of it. If you used to take a pill every 4 hours, now try to get 5 or 6 hours.  Few days later, try and get 6-7 hours in between use. So on and so on. I now take one every 14 hours which is miles away from my 2 pills every 3 hours round the clock. I hasnt been a picnic but it is a trillion times better then when I did the cold turkey thing. Im still agitated, I still can't sleep at night and I still feel tired. But, no shakes, no nausea, no headaches and I can actually smile and hold a conversation without wanting to just shut the lights and hibernate. I guess the point of my rambling is, go to a doctor and confess. You do not need to torture yourself. BUT, do not abuse the help. Do not take what ever they give you and use it for recreation or because you are having a bad day(other than withdrawal) We all have **** that gets us in a bad mood. When you finally realize you do not need to suffer, it will make it easier. NOT EASY, easier.......I would wish you luck but if your reading this forum, you don't need it....you are well on your way......now go walk around the block!

Avatar_f_tn
by emergee, Dec 29, 2008
btw ultrapest,  
   the thing about the log in is exactly the kind of thing that just flipped me out about wd -ing.   actually i think i was spaced out, forgetful, and incompetent ,  the whole time i took the T drug.   it's beginning to get better, and it has been 30 days at least i would say.  at about two weeks or so i went nuts because my brain was so fogged over.   someone said,  a turtle swimming in mud.  i also had melt-downs when things went wrong.  actually that still may be a bit true,  but not as true.  
on the ct  vs taper ,  i am a ct person,  just because i want to get it behind me.  almost everyone has said that when they do jump off it's better somehow then the withdrawing while tapering.   i mean they feel better.   i know it sounds weird.  but i also had clonapin to sleep.  i did sleep every night and not sleeping might have pushed me over the edge,  i don't know.  

colleen,  i loved the story of your father ending up with harvey.   that is so fantastic!  thank you so much for writing it.
i hope you get some sleep.   yeah,  memory becomes a running joke.  about sleep,  all i know is that clonapin works,  whether you want to get habituated to another drug is another story.

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by Organica, Dec 29, 2008
I am interested in the tapering vs CT.  Most of you know that I am definitely a taper person.  I really cannot agree, emergee, that "almost everyone has said that when they to jump off it is better somehow than the withdrawing while tapering".  Most people on this site do - so I imagine a lot of people, like myself, who really believe in the tapering process, feel disinclined to push their point - there is a feeling of being a bit of a wus.

I am now down to 15 to 25 mg daily.  I was on T for about 6 years, never missing a day. My dose was 200mg - less that a lot of you, but over a long time.
  
We all react to drugs differently. I am very affected by them.  I also have several medical disorders ( I was on Tramadol for severe fibromyalgia pain, and have cfs, a blood disease and a couple of auto-immune disorders).  Since the jury is out on what causes auto-immune disease, and because my whole way of being is to 'take the middle path', I chose to taper.

Initially the tapering from 200 to 100 was extremely severe - I had many of the symptoms expressed by those going CT... so I slowed the taper.  I am very glad I did, and am very happy with my progress.

I think there are instances where CT is definitely indicated.. if you are young, strong, and particularly if you were taking the drug for non-medical reasons; if there is a history of a need for drugs, any drugs, to create a feeling of well-being, then tapering can be tricky, as the temptation would be huge to just down a few when it becomes too awful.
I imagine the sense of acheivement with CT is huge, if you can accomplish it.

But for my situation, I'm really glad I'm tapering, getting stronger every day, with a sense of a gradual process that will not throw my body into an antagonistic state.

May we all find our way to be rid of this thing..
peace and strength,
Sue


Avatar_f_tn
by emergee, Dec 30, 2008
organica,
   i certainly did not mean to say,  in fact i meant the opposite,  that everyone should taper because it is "better".   i did mean that word "better'  in any value sense.  i meant that there is for some people,  an odd experience when you actually jump off , even through the sickness,  there is something that FEELS better, than what you FELT while  tapering.   the intuitive thing is that you will only feel worse.   i didn't ,  and it seemed quite a few people agreed with this.   it is meant as an encouragement to people who are afraid that all the moaning and groaning we do  , means it just gets worse and worse.   i honestly felt sicker while i was trying to taper than the first day off.   this is in no way saying that everyone should do it this way.   tapering is valid and right for some people.  i could not possibly tell anyone what to do ,  only tell my experience.

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by livingwithAVN, Dec 30, 2008
Hello all, Wow this blog has been lets say more than a trip to read. It brought all my suspicions about tramadol to life.
I have been taking Tramadol for close to two months since I was diagnosed with Stage IV AVN in both hips. I was on percocet for the pain before the dianosis of AVN. The docs before said I had Bursitus and prescribed prednesone witch could be the main cause of my AVN. It was prescibed to me many times over the years for allergies and hives etc.

I am a bit out of it at the moment its 5am and i haven't slept.
OK  

Back to the tramadol I was taking 4 to six pills a day for about the first month. I find they are weird pills. Some times 2 pills can make me loopy as hell, other times I feel nothing.A couple weeks ago I ran out for two days and I was out of my mind in pain.
I got more ASAP!

last weekend the 21st I knew I was running low so I tapered down 2 pills then one pill a day for the last 2 days untill i ran out. I was doing better than the cold turkey I did before but still wanting the pills I called the Doc and they called in a script for 60  more 50mg. I felt 100% better 20 min after taking them. I now am taking 6-8 pills a day.

I am scared to death


I really wanna get off these evil pills

Avatar_f_tn
by needhelp4me434, Dec 30, 2008
i think tapering is the best way to go especially if you've never had to withdraw for anything else. i believe cold turkey would scare the h--l out of a first timer.

i tapered down for about 3 weeks, going from 200 -300mgs a day down to 25mgs for 3 days then just quit.

it was awful. the worse being severly depressed

i knew this withdrawing would pass, that the symtoms would pass.

i read alot of these post, it's each to their own i suspose. for me i don't think i could have just gone c/t. the pain of the withdraws would only have forced me to 'TAKE THE LITTLE WHITE KILLER PILL AGAIN."

i was in such a fog when i was w/t that i don't remember how many days ago i took the last pill

in most ways i feel so much better. in other way i'm not so good. i still can't sleep and the headaches are a killer. but i have an underline problem with my neck and i think that may have something to do with it.i'm eating better. i lost 7 pounds during the w/d phase. i'm thin ,too thin and it'll take a while to gain this weight back.

as my head clears i feel more anger that a psyc dr would even subscribe this drug knowing i was already on an anti depressant. that she would she would advise me to take 5-htp for sleep.

i know that should i ever be advised to take any medcication i will research it first.

hope everyone has a fun and safe new years.

coleen

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by HOPEreturns, Dec 30, 2008
Hello to everyone.  Haven't been on in a few days..... been working!

ULTRAPEST.... tapering has been the best way for me.   I have been off of tramadol before and I tapered then too.  You can taper by 1/4 of a tab per week.  It takes longer to taper, but it saves you from COLD TURKEY withdrawals.  Tapering depends on one's personality....... Addictive type personalities seem to have more trouble tapering.  I have that personality.... HOWEVER, when I tapered the first time, I was pregnant (this gave me extreme incentive!)..... I was scared about being on them, so I tapered carefully.  

I unfortunately am back on them...... 10-12 per day.  Embarrasing to say, but I am currently taking HALF of what I used too!  It definitly takes massive self discipline to taper.

I tend to want to take more when I am upset or stressed, etc...... I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.

Today I went to San Antonio to see my grandmother....... She is in a nursing home by herself.  Widowed as of two months ago.  I didn't want to leave her and was trying not to let her see me cry.  The nursing home was making feel so depressed.  I could have easily popped four of those little babies!!  However, I began thinking, this feeling is temporary.  I will feel better in a couple of hours.  I DID!  Since I am taking less of these pills, I have felt sooooo much better.  I didn't realize how Crapp y  I had been feeling.  I can't wait until the day when I say..... I am TRAM FREE!

Take care.... EVERYBODY...... CHINS UP!!
Keep up the good work.  Tomorrow is a NEW DAY!!

HUGS
Hope


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by Organica, Dec 31, 2008
Tomorrow is a NEW YEAR, HOPEreturns!!
May we all be T-free and very, very contented
Sue xx

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by kevzx81, Dec 31, 2008
Day 10/11

Dropped down to 3x20mgs yesterday.
I've been following the taper vs c/t debate with interest. I dont have an opinion myself, it seems obvious that there are people here succeeding by both methods. Going c/t scared the hell out of me ( it turns out I'm very sensitive to Tram) but taper has proved more doable.
I envy and admire all of you doing c/t, I know it gets you off the evil Tram quicker.

For me,finding this site was key in helping decide how to get off this drug.
We all want the same thing(freedom from Tram) but have different lifestyles, addiction levels etc.
BUT....we can all pull together to fight the common enemy!
So lets keep doing just that and hopefully we can all be Tram free soon!

May we all enjoy a healthy and fulfilling 09.



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by EmilyPost, Dec 31, 2008
Hi Tramadol Warriors :D

This thread is now 304 comments long which means it crashes my computer every single tme I come on t try and reply.

Let's MOVE one day over ok?

I'm going to reply HERE ....

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/20327?personal_page_id=142

Just copy and paste and it will send you to a new day ok?

New Day, New Year. New Starts, All positive. If someone posts under me, will someone lead them to Day 47 aka
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/20327?personal_page_id=142


That way none of our newbie w/d Trammies will get lost in the Interwebs? Thanks! I'll write my reply on that Day 47 ..

Love and Healing,
Emily

again ... move on over Chica-Booms ....

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/20327?personal_page_id=142


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by HOPEreturns, Jan 02, 2009
Good afternoon FRIENDS!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful and happy new year!  My.... there have been alot of posts while I was offline.  I am so glad everyone is continuing to stay in touch!  SO HEALING!  

EMILY!!  YOU are..... as I have said before..... an ANGEL!  I must address something that you said in one of your recent postings!  You were mentioning that maybe I grew up in an alchoholic home.  YES..... along with family that was and still is very much co-dependant!  Amazing that I really hadn't thought about it until you mentioned this.  I have always blamed myself for the way I am.  I can remember as a child, that I was always told that I did everything half-a ssed.  When I was in my teens ( when everyone else was doing things with their friends), my mother always make me stay home with her if my dad was at work.  If I had plans.... she would complain to my dad, and I would be made to feel guilty and MADE TO STAY HOME.  Life was one big emotional rollercoaster.  Never knew what the mood was gonna be!  It's a little better know as I am an adult...... but still occurs.  The difference is.... I can leave if I don't like it! :)  I was 22 when I went to a counselor and she was so good to me!  I do not ever remember anyone telling me that they were proud of me.  She is the first one that told me that she was proud of me!  Sounds silly, but changed my life and probably saved it at that time!  I could go on and on about the alchoholism, emotional abuse, etc. but I'm sure there are several others in here that have experiences this sometime in their lives.  

EMILY, thank your for acknowledging your observation.  You really and truly listen to each and everyone of us as individuals in here!    This is soooo benificial to all of us that are continuing to battle our own demons!  Thank you for your caring and kind words Emily!!  BIG HUGS TO YOU!!

If anyone is having a bad day today.... I SEND A BIG HUG TO YOU too.  Anyone having a good day today.... I throw out a high five! :) (Okay.... the high five might be a little "cheesy", but you all get my point!) LOL

Love, Hope

Hope


Avatar_f_tn
by needhelp4me434, Jan 04, 2009
hello everyone.

how do you paste something.  i counted to 420 before i finally got to the end of this orginal post.

how do i get to the last post instead of the first


thank you


coleen


hope everyone is doing ok.


i've been busy trying to help a friend  taper off all her drugs. she got thur morphine and is now on benzo. i advised her to go to the susbance abuse thread. i have'nt had to w/d from these drugs, thank god. tramadol bout kilt me trying to get off that.

it's  strange about tramadol. for whatever reason using tramadol crossed my mind the other day. i was in so much pain from my neck and felt off balance and for some reason i thought. i'll just go re-fill my script and take a few till the pain is under control. good thing i know myself cause i had called the pharm and told them to stop my re-fills and list tramadol as a allergy.

after all i've been thur with this flipping drug, and having been free from it for almost a month, the thought passed to me to go refill it.i was a little taken back about all this. but i guess it's just how are minds work.

talk to ya'll later

Avatar_n_tn
by Krista915, Jan 07, 2009
Hello everyone,

This is my first time here.  I want to say that I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday and a pleasant New Year.

My Tramadol story began on January of 2008 when I went to my first doctor's appointment in a very long time. But  before that, I was a pain killer abuser for a whole year because I suffered from arthritis and back pain for a long time.  I just never went to the doctor because I was getting the pain killers through friends. And plus, I hated going to the doctor.  

Well, now that I was taking all these drugs, my pain had increased and I told the doctor about my body pain hoping she'd prescribe me some pain killers.  She wrote me a prescription for Tramadol.  Now, at this time I had never heard of Tramadol and was a bit disappointed it wasn't a pain killer but then I read up about it and when I took Tramadol for the first time, I felt great!  I was so glad that I was able to take this and that it was prescribed for me and I didn't have to depend on friends or others to feed my habit.  I had it right here and under my own name.  It was legal.  

After a few months you can say my tolerance began to build.  Instead of taking 3 a day, I started taking 6-8 and then 15-20 a day using up my 30 day supply in just 2 weeks.  I was always running to the pharmacy left and right to pick up my refills.  It was pathetic.  But who cares?!?!  I was feeding my addiction.

A whole year later(January 2009), my doctor caught on.  She noticed how many times I was coming back to her office to get a prescription refill.  She sat me down and spoke to me and of course, I flat out denied that I was hooked, addicted and dependent on Tramadol.  But no matter what I said, she didn't prescribe me the Tramadol.  Instead, she wrote me a prescription for Ibuprofen and I was so angry. I tried to argue and beg but it was no use.

Today marks my 4th day I've been Tramadol-free and it's HELL!!!  I've never experienced withdrawals like this.  Not even with the other prescription drugs I used to take.  But now that it's dawned on me....I'm relieved that I'm getting away from this horrible addiction.  I know I won't be able to get anymore Tramadol again and I don't want to.  I'm glad my doctor was able to save me from getting deeper into my dark hole.

But I'm being honest....the withdrawals are really bad.  I've had insomnia for 3 days straight.  I've got depression, the tingles, shakes, cold/clammy hands and feet, dry throat, diarrhea, restless legs and I haven't been able to get out and go to work for two days.  I've prayed, cried, complained, cried some more and prayed some more but I know no matter what, my addiction won't get fed.  And I don't want it to.  I don't wanna go through this again.  I'm begging for my normal life back and I just feel like it's never going to be normal.  I'm feeling a bit better today but I'm still depressed and want some Tramadol or any other pain killer.  I'm in so much pain!!  I hate Tramadol now but at the same time I want it.  URGH!!!  I don't want this anymore!!!!!  I want to be normal!!!!  I want the withdrawals to be gone and I don't want to feel like this again!!!!!  I feel like I should go to detox but then again it isn't that bad.  I don't know...I'm just still very confused and sick from my withdrawals.  Like I said, I wish I had some Tramadol now but what good would that do?!  

I'm trying my best at cold turkey and reading everyones posts has really helped me out.  

Thank you for reading,
Krista

544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Jan 07, 2009
(((Krista)))

I would like you to come (and anyone else who is lost) to the end of the current thread, Day 47.

Click on this link and it will take you there

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/20327?personal_page_id=142

If you can't figure it out click on my picture and go to my Journal. The List will show Day 47. Lots of people there there to help.

I will drop you a not and hope to see you there.

Love and healing,
Emily

We're all over here ------> http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/20327?personal_page_id=142

673432_tn?1226031779
by butterfly925, Jan 07, 2009
There are sooo many posts on this forum. It's amazing how many people have the same problem.

Anyways, I was taking tramadol for about 2 to 2 1/2 years and decided in November that enough was enough and found a psychologist using turntohelp.com. I found a doctor in my area, but not too close to where I live and he has been great. I chose a doctor a few towns over to be sure I wouldn't see anyone I knew while in the office. He put me on suboxone and coming off tramadol was surprisingly easy. So easy, that when I accidently found a new bottle of tramadol hidden under my bed, i decided that I would just stop the suboxone and have a few tramadol.
Stupid idea. I've been able to keep off tramadol for the psat 4 days, and the suboxone makes it so easy to go back and forth. Whenever I'm feeling REALLY low, I know where to turn.

I don't have it in me to tell my doctor about my slip ups, but I did tell him how depressed I've been and he's trying me on some anti-depressants. I hope this works. it's only the 2nd day for lexapro and he told me I should see some improvement in about 4 to 7 days. We'll see.

I was wondering how many pills people are taking or have taken in a day. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone taking as many as I used to take. At my lowest, when I realized I needed to do something I was taking 30 to 35 pills at once. Sometimes i would throw up, and sometimes I was fine. Just curious to see if anyone else uses that much.

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by EmilyPost, Jan 07, 2009
We're all over here ------> http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/20327?personal_page_id=142




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by grandma75, Jan 27, 2009
To everyone who has posted their pain from Tramadol withdrawal,

It snowed today, and I couldn't go to work.  It is a true blessing, because it gave me time to research and find this site.  

Two years ago, I was prescribed tramadol for leg pain.  I couldn't even walk in the grocery store without having to hold onto a cart.  I could do certain movements, but walking caused horrible pain.  The doctors attributed the pain to my back, so I started getting shots in my back, which didn't help. I didn't have a problem getting prescriptions for tramadol, because it wasn't addicting!! Yeah, right!!  A year later, a doctor that actually did his job found out that my pain was not from my back, but from my hips!  I had to have two hip replacements!!  Bdfore surgery, the  prescription included tramadol, along with other pain relievers.  I suspect this was to keep the dosage in my system to a level that helped the medication during surgery.  After the first durgery, I was given a prescription fro tramadol, and took it only once a day.  This is whan it occured to me that my mood ewas much better and that I was more sociable and seemed to get more done after taking the tramadol.  After the second surgery, I told my doctor my concern, that I really liked the tramadol, but I really felt that I was addicted to it.  She said that "yes, it will make you feel better, but that it wasn't as addicting as other pain meds.  BS.  I was also given percoset, which was easy to not take, because it made me loopy, but the tramadol had an effect on me that is so hard to describe.  I have never been an out going person, but with the tram, I was so talkative and happy and could focus.  Wow!  What a deception.   I now find myself going to the doctor, just to get a tramadol refill, and there is no problem  He gave me 3 refills!!!!  However, I now find that one a day is no longer enough so I start taking two and find a depression when it wears off that I can not handle.  I look to my grown children and others to help with the depression, but am too embarresed to tell them that I think I am addicted to a medication that is not addicting??!!  I am now on day one.  No tramadol.  I need to start being me again and start being able to focus my thoughts with out the support of a pi;;.  I made an appointment with a doctor for depression, and he gave me Wellbutrin.  I AM NOT DEPRESSED, I AM ADDICTED, YOU ARE NOT HEARING ME!

Anyway, this is day one and all I want is to feel like I can think on my own, without the help of a narcotic, and I want to smile at other people from myself, not from a pill.  

Thank you for this site.  I am going to beat this addiction and maybe be able to focus enough to be the one in my family that people come to instead of the one needing help.

Starting again!

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by sleeplessinwarrington, Jan 30, 2009
I was prescribed Tramadol after having a knee replacement operation, I was just told that it would help with the pain, now 8 months later taking 8 x 50mg tablets per day I am well and truly hooked.  I decided to go cold turkey last Monday, it is now Friday and this has been the worst week of my life.  I havent slept for more than 1 hour at a time and then in total only 6 hours since Monday, I am exhausted but cant stop moving, I have runny nose and flu-like symptoms, I am shaky and nervous.  I want to give in and start taking them again just so that I can feel normal again, but if I do that then I will have wasted all this week.  I just hope and pray that it wont go on much longer, how much longer do these withdrawal symptoms last? does anyone know?   I would like to see this drug banned because none of the Doctors who prescribe it seem to know that it is in fact very addictive.  I swear I will never ever touch the stuff again, in fact I dont think I will ever take any pain killers, I would rather have the pain than suffer all this withdrawal.  I feel like the lonliest person in the world.
From sleepless in Warrington.

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by madtram, Jan 30, 2009
Dear Sleepless,
so sorry for your suffering but u are so right not to waste the week you have endured.  The first week sux for almost everyone & odds are good u will start to feel better very soon.

Check out the Thomas recipe on

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66

for a list of vitamins & amino acids that can help u through detox.

This thread got too full so come over to the current thread on

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/16650?personal_page_id=142

to get more support.  Emily's journal is also  worth reading right through.  Her powers of expression & total refusal to give up have inspired us all.

Please keep posting

Michelle







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by momma918, Feb 01, 2009
  my name is mandy. i am 31 years and been taking tramadol for over 3 years. i am tryn to quit taking them not doing so good. i have been tryn to take only 6-8 a day from taking 25-30 a day for over a year. i just started tryn to wean myself off this past week. i am NOT doing so good. i am going through major withdrawl. how long will this last? does ne thing really help at all? please HELP. i dont want to give up.

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by madtram, Feb 01, 2009
Hi Mandy, you have had a major reduction in your dose so your body is in shock.  I would stay at your current dose until your body stabilizes again.  You must fight the temptation to go back to your old dose as there is a real risk of seizure if you suddenly increase tramadol levels.

Once you get through this stage,you will probably do better if you taper off much more gradually, say one quarter tab per week.

What are your worst symptoms?

Can you get hold of some valium or sleep meds, it's a big help if you can at least get some sleep.

Post your reply on

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/16650?personal_page_id=142

we have moved as this thread got full so you will get more help on the new thread.

If you can make it through this nightmare stage, doing a slow taper should be a lot less painful & there are definitely things you can do to help the process.  Please keep posting

Michelle

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by SunshineSioux, Feb 02, 2009
I am glad I found this journal. I have a guy that I buy Tramadol from in Thailand (I bet some of you know him) but anyway, my shipment I guess is stuck in customs and I'm stuck waiting at least another two-three weeks before getting it. When the day that I was expecting the shipment came and went I panicked and went into emergency tapering mode. I went from 7 pills a day to one pill on days that I didn't have to work and two on days where I did. That lasted two weeks. And now I'm completely out. So now I'm faced with trying to survive until I can get more. The last time I quit cold turkey I was in so much pain that I wrote a note to my family in case I died from my pain and anguish. BTW I've been taking tramadol for about 8 years and no I don't have a sappy story about how I got duped. I tried it and liked it and since I was married to a pharmacist it was not a big deal getting it. We're divorced now and part of me knows I could ask him to get me some more but it would be so humiliating that it would be considered "hitting rock bottom". I just need to be strong. That shipment may never show up. Then what? I will hate myself if I spend hours in an emergency room just to get tramadol or even worse steal my mother's supply. I almost hate myself for even considering either of those options. Tonight at work (I wait tables) I could barely function. Smiling hurt. I dropped a couple of plastic forks on the ground and it made me almost cry. I told everyone I was coming down with the flu and it does actually sort of feel like that. But I can't tolerate this feeling for long. I think I'm going to try the whole potassium vitamin thing if nothing else. The RLS is maddening. Obtaining valium is not really an option because I think if I were at a doctor's office I would probably get nervous and tongue tied and feel like he'd think I was a valium addict looking for valium. Sorry for the rambling nature of this post but I know you understand and I'm not sure anyone else does.

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by newhope4me185, Feb 05, 2009
Well I have started day 2 of trying to stick to 2 (50mg) a day for the next few days then go to 1 (50mg). I tried to stay busy yesterday in order not to think about just have one it will make you feel better. I cleaned my whole house and went for a long walk. I talked to a friend who I know has had her share of pill addiction and she could not believe how hard the w/d is compared to tons of what she has took. I am very proud to say that I turned down her offer to "help" me. I knew I would just end up where I am right now.
Today is a little better. I woke up twice to bad sweating and just prayed. Today I woke up at 7am and had coffee then excedrin and waited until 9:am to take my 1 pill of the day. I hate that I count down the minutes!! My mind is playing tricks on me big time. I am feeling like I felt better when abusing the pills. You know the burst of energy and the way I functioned. Now I just keep trying to listen to myself and get through this to the other side.
My fiance asked me if I need to go to the doctor b/c of the sluggish self and night after night sweating. I feel really bad. I could tell him, but am not ready for the disappointment and he would guard me and check for pills everyday just to protect me. I really do have a keeper. I just hate that everything got bad quickly, you know the addiction.
I am looking for work out of state right now b/c we are short selling our house. I have too much time on my hands and am trying my best to stay busy.
I wanted to let you know how I have planned the tapering. I knew I had just one prescription left which I picked up on Sunday. I only took 3 (50mg) on Sunday which made monday the worst day. I kept the dosage to 3 on Mon and Tue which again I felt like I was going to die. I finally felt a little better yesterday and started the decrease to 2 a day.
Please keep telling me I will quit the nightly sweats and feel whole again. Right now I keep feeling like it would feel much better to take more to feel good again. I don't know how I felt before the pills, therefore I keep thinking I will never feel good again. I really wish I would have never taking these devil pills!!
Plus, I am eating hard core healthy!! I guess I think that if I put as many vitamins in my body with exercise it will make these w/d symptoms go away.

I really need you reassurance today!! God Bless you for all your help!!

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by madtram, Feb 05, 2009
You are doing great Newhope, at this rate u will soon be done.  If you are finding the withdrawals unbearable, u could try tapering a little slower.  Say reduce your dose by half or even quarter of a pill, let that settle, then move to the next lowest dose.

This thread is full now.  Come to:

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/16650?personal_page_id=142

for more support from others.  U are doing the best things to support your body.  Tramadol dulls everything & it is natural to doubt your feelings but they too will return.  Taking more is just the road to more of the same, then worse.

Keep posting, on the new thread

Michelle

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by newhope4me185, Feb 06, 2009
Hi guys..Day 6

I guess my body has adjusted to the 2 (50mg) a day. Since Nov I was at 8-10 (50mg). I did not sweat as much as usual during the night and did get some sleep due to an ambein. I have been drinking green tea and a "get going" tea with senna. I told you that I have been eating very healthy!! It seems like I eat too many blueberries.

Anyway, I woke up feeling like I had more energy and my thought process clear. Or at least today I feel better then I have in a while. Now the hard part starts b/c I was at this dosage from the start. I would increase the pill intake on on Fri and Sat night then decrease to one on Sunday. Then I would start the cycle all over on Monday.

I am going to stay on this dosage until Sunday then do a 1.5 dosage next week and hopefully 1 the following until .25 then 0.

I have been praying much more then ever in hopes the next day will be better. I never had the RLS when trying to stop in the past. Does that happen once you stop completely?? I am just trying to process how I can feel really good in only a weeks time. Then I get scared b/c I am not completely off the devil pills. I just want to keep taking in one day at a time. I just keep telling myself "I feel better then I ever had" strength from all your postings have me focused to be free of this drug.

I will keep you posted...

Thanks again my many angels

XOXO

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by kittyhoney, Mar 03, 2009
Early 2006 I began taking Tramadol. It made me not care that my back hurt or I had cramps and it even took away by ferocious appetite. When I ran out  I would have no energy and feel like I was very sick with the flu. I didnt put 2 and 2 together, I just thought I was run down and ill. Then it happened, without the Trams I would immediately become Achy. Worse than I had ever experienced in my life. Fatigue like I had never known. So to get me through, I have been using them like a Heroin addict just to get through the day and feel ok. Now its 2009, and instead of getting ready to order yet another 180 pills to get me through another month or two, I am down to one a day from about 6 a day. I tried today to see if I could go completely Tram free with the help of 5-HTP, Gaba Calm and a good Multi, but by 5pm, the fatigue and body aches came on full force. I had to pop one and still felt **** so I had a half of a Norco (Vicodin without Tylenol) I feel ok now and look forward to the day when all of this will be behind me. It has made me weepy, unable to orgasm, and the worst part completely dependent.(waking up after a few hours sleep to have another) Counting pills, wondering if I can stretch them out.
The fact that even on Wikipedia, it says Tramadol isnt addictive. Its the worst drug I have ever read about or experienced personally. (That includes Vicodin, Demerol, Valium,Xanax, Codeine) The physical withdrawal is HORRIBLE. Thank you for this space to tell my story.  ~Kitty

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by EmilyPost, Mar 03, 2009
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/66246

Here's the current thread Kitty

if you come there, there's a bunch of people coming off tramadol ...

(((((Kitty)))))))

once more; glad to hear your story ...

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/66246





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by pfcpremosgirl, Mar 04, 2009
I thought I was the only one. I've been on Tramadol for a year or a little over. Who knows? I started taking it right, realized it felt good, would run thru my prescription, then just buy more online. I don't even know how many I was taking a day. My doctors just kept giving me more. I have legitimate pain issues, and OTC's don't help. My shoulder pain gets so bad I can't move it at all. I don't know what to do! I am now out, due to get a refill Mar 18, 09. I took my last one yesterday morning, and today, I am dealing with being a mother, running a house, and other daily activities, and I can't stop crying, shaking, feeling like my skin is crawling. I hate this, but I hate pain too, and I am so confused.

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by EmilyPost, Mar 04, 2009
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/66246

Can you copy and paste your message nto our current thread?

They can help you pfcpremocgrl

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/66246

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by pfcpremosgirl, Mar 04, 2009
I live in GA, its not controlled here, and FedEX delivers with no problems. It is controlled in KY, my fellow Army wife friend is stationed there, and cannot get it online, as FedEx won't deliver it there. I was reading earlier the state listings. I don't even know about the "dangerous drug" thing. I was getting my refills at an onpost pharmacy, never once had to sign for them. Just an FYI.

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by Sandyjo151, Mar 09, 2009
Thank you for eveyones comments!  I am on day 7or 8, and can really relate to the bordom, depression, and the numbness in my legs and arms is the symptom that has really been bothering me.  Any drug or help for this?  For those of you that are just starting to quit, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER< AND YOU WILL GET YOUR LIFE BACK!  It has only been 7 days for me, but I see progress.  Have to run, but will check back later - thank you to everyone!!

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by JLO2112, Mar 11, 2009
I`ve been reading this forum for awhile now and I finally quit tramadol last week. I tapered down and thought I was through the worst but today I really feel screwed up. My face feels like its on fire and I have no get up and go. I have a bottle of tramadol left but I`m thru with them. The reason I quit now is I`m on temp layoff, no work around here at the time. My wife died from lung cancer this past December and I am really numb. This is by far the worst year of my life and I`m 42 yrs old. My question is when will I get my energy back or am I really just depressed? Also has anyone else experienced the burning face and hands thing?

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by edman4u, Mar 17, 2009
Curious, my wife is weaning off Tramadol and like many of you, she says this is much worse than weaning off Oxycontin.  Do any of you have sinus issues when you weaned down or quit cold turkey?  My wife just got her first cold in 5 years, or least it feels like a cold.  She has spent over a year weaning off the pain meds they had her on, and none of it has ever caused these symptoms.

Hang in there folks, I can only vaguely feel what you are going through from having watched my wife go through hell.  I personally think all medical doctors should experience intense, long withdrawal before they are allowed to prescribe these things.

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by cali272, Mar 17, 2009
Hello Emily and all fellow friends.

I found this forum for the first time today.  It has been the most strange and wonderful experience.  I was a tramadol addict for 5 years, before last week, and spen t my time searching on anything Tramadol.  Sometimes things to help with the withdrawals which I could never manage more than 18 hrs of (I never found anything I could relate to), sometimes the 'benefits' (ha) of the drug, and - shamefully - most of the time where I could buy it on line. I dread to think how much time and money I wasted over the years. I guess I will ramble here in my first post.  I am so touched by such a kind, gentle and accepting forum that I find it hard to resist pouring out my experience from day one of my addiction.  I will, in time, I guess, but for now I want to limit my words to inspiration for those about to give up the drug that robs you of every quality of life and disguises it as making you feel wonderful (ie 'high' - but let me get onto that later -, bloated, financially poor, waiting for your next mail delivery from rip-off pharmacy or thinking of ways to convince the dr or pharmacist that you 'lost' your script and need more) or those in w/ds right now.  Please believe me when I say I had tried to give up for years, and never succeeded.  The withdrawals would send me back in deeper every time.  I was using about 500mg every single day.  I would put off things - making calls, tidying my flat, taking a shower, until I had had my next fix. My life revolved round it literally.  All aspects of my life.

In all of this, I am almost ashamed to say that I was not even expecting to give up the drug last week.  I was going to con my dr into giving m e extra yet again.  However it wasn;t my usual doctor and this one saw straight through me.  No more trams.  But what about the withdrawals?  Can I have some more to see me over the weekend?  No.  So I left the surgery sick and scared.  I had noone to turn to as noone knew of my addiction.  Like a lot of friends on here I led a life of hiding my addiction,  I did not know how I would get through the weekend.  I can only describe the 5 days as the worst I have felt in a long time.  I don't need to go into details to anyone on here.  Just to say isn 't the restless legs just the worst ever?!  Then on Monday I awoke, and, while it took a lot of effort to get anywhere fast, it was like a great cloud has lifted.  It is no exaggeration to say that when I ventured out into my garden it was like being born again.  I noticed the smells, the sky, how I felt.  And most importantly, my thoughts were not on my next fix of tramadol, and I have not craved since, which to me is a miracle.

I hope to maybe add some more insights from my addiction, and withdrawal weekend as the week goes on, in the hope to encourage others.  But for now I will say please please don't give up.  The high you get when you know you're not craving your next tramadol is a million times higher than anything the demon drug can give you.  And from someone like me, that is a miracle.

Love to all.
Claire x

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by Hope91171, Mar 19, 2009
Hello Everyone,

I have taken tramadol/ultram off and on since 1999. Like everyone else on this site my first experience with tramadol was great!  After the first 20minutes of nausea I was so energized and amped up I felt like I could do anything- pain free. Because I work in healthcare it was easy to obtain or get a script from one of my friends. I think the problem really took of around 2003 all my problems with work, marriage,  and motherhood were easily solved by taking 2, then, 3 trams. Similar to other stories I became dependent on the trams just to get oob and be "normal"  whenever I was stressed, or angry I would pop 2 trams then all was well with the world. My hubby realized it was a problem before me. by 2005 I was ordering of the net- couldn't wait to see fed-ex (hopefully he came before the kids got out of school). On so many occasions I would deny my addiction to my hubby and use medical literature and collegues to tell my hubby he was over reacting. I usually go through 180/50mg pills in 3 weeks. I can take a bit from everyones story and identify with your actions. I cried and I laughed (more of the first) while reading the posts. Today is day 2 of cold turkey, I am sweating like a pig and my stomach is cramping like he--. I have already showered 2x's, tonight I will admit my addiction to my husband. I curse the day I ever took one of those pills. Shortly I will go out and by some of the mentioned things to help with withdrawal. I hate the fact that I allowed a pill to take over my life. I will not live like this anymore. I am appreciative of all the stories shared.

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by Purple_Banana, Mar 21, 2009
Hello! I am a fibromyalgia sufferer... I've been on Tramadol for about 5 months now. I want OFF. I've dealt with the between-the-doses withdrawal, and I'm tired of it. I have slowly tapered down from 200mg a day to 50mg a day, and today was my final dose. I still have about 13 pills left, and there will BE 13 pills left when I am finished with this ordeal. I am a college student, and this is my spring break... Shame I have to spend my time of rest during a busy semester withdrawing from this stuff, but it has to be done.

My mom is an RN, and a very experienced and helpful one at that. I told her I am ending my dosage today, and she's so supportive- we went to Bath and Body Works for bath salts, aromatherapy oils, etc... I'm ready to do this.

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by Sleepygirl760, Mar 22, 2009
I was told by my Dr. that Tramadol would only be additive if I took more than I was supposed to. Buy was she wrong. I take it for severe fibromyalgia, I take 6- 50 mg pills per day. It just so happens that when i go back to the Dr to get my new script, there are 3-4 days that I have no pills. During these days, my family has gotten used to staying away from me, because I am so miserable and agitated. I can't breathe normally, my skin crawls, I get so much anxiety, headaches, sweating and an over all feeling of wanting to curl up into a ball and die. Not only do I get the withdrawl sysmptoms, I have double the fibro pain because my body makes me have so much pain so I will take the pills. Please, if your Dr ever wants to put you on this for anything, just know that one of these days you will want to go off and it will be a total nightmare. I am stuck because it has been the only thing that works for me. I wish I had never been put on it. I am not any better off than I started.

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by Sleepygirl760, Mar 22, 2009
I forgot to mention in my last post that I have been on Tram for 5 years at this dosage. Luckily I also have a medication called Xyrem that is prescribed for narcolepsy, it puts you to sleep and that helped me through it a little. I tried to sleep it off.

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by madtram, Mar 22, 2009
Sleepy, please post on the current thread so more people can read & respond

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/69988

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by sososo, Mar 22, 2009
hi everyone
i have read every post here and i thank u all.   i have tried to tamper down this last week as i can not go on like this.   i lasted 48 hrs. and then the family was getting confused and  there is no way i can let them know what is going on.   And as we know this drug is easy to get.
I also suffer from fibromyalgia and it took only a phone call to get more.
I really tried u guys but i have been on this drug for years and it won't let go of me.   This is the longest i have tried to detox and my family needs me.

so after 18 pills since 4pm i can now start taking care of my family.  
All i can do is sometime in the future try again.

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by sososo, Mar 22, 2009
need to clarify that after tampering down i then went cold turkey for the 48 hrs.  and it was all u guys have said it was.  but there are too many people depending on me and i will not let them down


thanks for letting me vent

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by franken, Mar 28, 2009
hello,
So glad I found this post by googling "tramadol withdrawal" .I've been a recovering addict for the past 9 years.
I went into treatment in 1999 for addiction to pain pills, xanax and alcohol. Since then I've had some relapses.but until august of 2008 I had 5 years clean.last august i had surgery on my sinus and was given percocet for the pain.
I knew the risk involved but felt I needed something for the pain.After a about two weeks of recovery after the surgery I quit taking anything for pain other than otc meds. The doctor had told me it would take about 8 weeks to feel normal again after the surgery.After the 8 weeks had passed my sinus issues seemed much improved,no more horrible sinus infections,but i was having jaw pain and headaches.
after going to several doctors and two dentist they seemed in agreement my pain was from grinding my teeth.I was given tramadol for the pain.I was told it was non addictive and not a narcotic.I was glad to hear it,I had struggled so with my addiction after surgery I knew I could not handle being on a narcotic without abusing it.
I have been active in narcotics anonymous for years,and know that "one is too many and a thousand never a enough".
I also knew my old addict behavior had resurfaced during the time I was taking the percocet.I can rationalize insane behavior when I have narcotics in my system,I've lied,cheated and stole to get drugs in the past and I knew I was dangerously close to going to those extremes again if continued taking narcotics for the pain(one dentist gave me vicoden  for the jaw pain.)So I was hoping tramadol would be the safe alternative the doctors claimed it to be.I certainly can't blame it all on the doctors.I knew pretty quickly that I liked the way it made me feel way too much for it not to be addictive.I found that if I took 7 or 8 50mg pills at once I would feel the same kind of euphoria as i f taking a narcotic.I would feel pain free and have more energy as well,all without the guilt I felt when taking something I knew I had no business taking as a recovering addict.
  It did not take long for my tolerance to build up till I was taking up to 24 50mg tablets a day.I knew I was in danger of losing everything i had gained in sobriety.I also knew that I could overdose and die or have seizures with the amount I was taking.
  When I tried to quit taking the tramadol I went through the worst withdrawals I've ever been through.It's like the flu from hell,much worse than trying to kick xanax ,valium or any other narcotic.the psychological aspects are horrible.I've been a emotional basket case.crying one minute then breaking into a fit of furious anger the next.Or just unable to even function at any emotional level at all.I am so glad to have the answers I've found here because I really thought I was going crazy.I'm at day 6 cold turkey,I'm in pain but I know now it's just the withdrawals.
Even the clenching of my jaw was more than likely just a symptom of the withdrawals from the percocet and vicodan I was taking after surgery.Then the doctors give me tramadol for that pain,and the whole problem just gets worse.
I tried tapering down before but I'm sure I did it too fast.I ended up getting a refill after about 10 days.I agree that this drug stays in your system for a long time and that the withdrawals are very random.the first 5 days were the worst,but I found the body aches were still around at the 10 day mark,which was part of the reason I gave in last time and got the refill.I know now if I can tough it out,it will go away eventually. I was on the phone to the pharmacy yesterday when I found this post,and I know It saved me making the same mistake again.Knowledge is power and the truth will set you free! I agree with the home detox link info,but I also feel a lot of prayer,and good support group such as N/A can really help.I know it was a God thing that I found this site yesterday,If the pharmacy had not put me on hold and a friend from N/A had not called I would not have googled tramadol withdrawal yesterday.And would be starting the whole viscous cycle all over again.
  thank you emily and god bless you


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by victoreahhh, Apr 02, 2009
My sister was up to 25 - 30 per day and started taking them 7 years ago.  Now, her quality of life is near zero.  She finally decided to quit " cold turkey" and told me about it on day 3.  I got her into an inpatient treatment program who did not understand Tramadol, AT ALL!  They actually told her that Tramadol is not an opiate and after giving her two days of Suboxen, took her off.  She was discharged and has been at home withdrawing miserably ever since.  That was 10 days ago.  She is miserable!  She talks about her legs and how they wont stop moving.  She complains of shortness of breath, and dreads the nights the most.  She can get NO help from any medical professional because nobody understands it.  She is trying so hard to make it through this and refuses to use again.  But quite honestly, I dont know if she can make it.  She also has anemia, and she always blames the anemia for these symptoms instead of withdrawal.  I don't know how others on here are able to function after a few days, because i don't see her able to function for weeks or maybe even months.  All because of a knee surgery!  As a family member of an addict, I am so frustrated and helpless.  I wish I could help her but I don't know what to do.  I have encouraged her to come here and read for support, but she's simply just too sick.  Can anyone help?  Does anyone else also have severe anemia?

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by FinallyFred, Apr 06, 2009
This site has moved six times since December 2008, because as you have discovered, all of the posts/traffic crashes our computers.

Come on over to http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/77252 and post over there.  Nobody is actively monitoring this site, so move on over to http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/77252.  ;

There is hope and healing from tramadol.  You'll see.  

Fred

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by BASSMAN66, Apr 06, 2009
RANDY  Q.   FROM NC.
I HAVE BEEN ON TRAMADOL OR ULTRAM FOR 5 YEARES ,AND I MUST SAY WITHDRAWS FROM THIS DRUG ARE WORSE THAN MORPHINE OR OCYCONTTIN / I WANT TO THINK I AM A FOOL I WANT TO GET OFF OF THESE DEVIL PILLS FOR GOOD I GO TO A PAIN CLINIC FOR A INJURY / I HAVE WENT THRU WITHDRAWS AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH FOR 2 YEARS ,BECAUSE I COULD NEVER MAKE /OR TAKE THEM LIKE I WAS SUPPOSE TO I TOOK 8 A DAY AND THEN 10 OR MORE AND MY SCRIPT WAS FOR 8 A DAY 1-2 TABS EVREY 4 HOURS
SO ABOUT FOUR MONTH AGO A PAIN DOCTER PUT ME ON[ ULTRAM 3OOMG ER] EXTENDED RELEASE...NOW I CAN "TNOT WIENG MYSELF OFF THESE DEVIL PILLS SLOWLY I AND I AM WANT TO STOP AND AM VERY SCARED !
LIKE I SAID EARLY I WAS ON OXY 20 MG FOR A WHILE AND THEN MORFINE PATCHES AND UTRAM WITHDRAWS ARE FAR WORSE FOR ME IT IT LIKE DIYING SLOWLY .THE JERKY LEGS AND ARMS ARE UNSTOPABLE MY LEGS AND ARMS WILL JUST FLY UP IN THE AIR WITH NO CONTROL AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS CRY IT IS TROCHER AND I MEAN TO THE 10TH POWER !!MY PAIN DOC SAYS THERE IS NO WITHDRAWS FROM ULTRAM IT IS ALL IN MY HEAD .
LAST TIME I RAN OUT THREE DAYS EARLY I FOUND MYSELF OUTSIDE AT 3;OO AM RUNNING AROUN MY HOUSE TRYING TO MAKE  THE AWFULL FEELING AND JERKS STOP .
I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND I CAN LIVE WITH MY PAIN, BUT I CAN T LIVE WITH THE THOUGHT OF A LITTLE PILL I WAS TOLD WOULD NOT HURT ME RULEING ME IF YOU HAVE NOT HAD WITHDRAWS FROM ULTRAM THAN HOW COULD YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE !BUT HERE I HAVE FOUND PEOPLE FROM EVERY WALK OF LIFE AND CAN SEE I AM NOT ALONE I WILL BE OUT IN 2 DAYS AND I HAVE REFILLS BUT I REFUSE TO GET THEM I WANT THE DEVIL PILLS OUT OF MY LIFE BUT I SCARED TO DEATH OF WHAT I KNOW IS COMING WITHDRAWS FOR ME ARE THE WORST THING YOU COULD THINK OFPOSSIABLE I NEED ALL THE HELP AND INPUT I CAN GET FOR THIS BATTLE LAST TIME I HAD TO COME OFF THEM COLD TURKEY WAS 2 YEARS AGO BECAUSE MY DOC WAS OUT OF TOWN /AND I WENT TO HOSIPITAL ER AND THEY PRETTY MUCH LAUGHED AT ME AND SAID IT ALL IN YOUR HEAD !!
I FREAKED OUT ON THEM I NEED HELP AND THERE WAS NONE THERE!
SO PLEAS ANT HELP ON THINGS TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS WILL BE SO HELPFULL AND THE NAMES OF WHAT I CAN BUY AND WHAT IT WILL HELP
OH YAH AND LOT OF PRAYERS
MY FATHER IS 70 YEARS OLD AND HE TO TO IS ON ULTRAM AND SAIN HE COULD STOP AT ANY TIME ,HE FOUND OUT ,I SEEN HIM CRY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN HE WAS ON HIS SECOND DAY OF TAKING THEM AND I ASK WHAT WAS WRONG AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID I DONT KNOW IA M SO DPERESSED AND DONT KNOW WHY I THINK I AM LOSEING MY MIND  AND FOR NO REASON .I LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID DAD IT IS ULTRAM WITHDARWS AND HE SAID WE WILL SE HE TOOK A 2 PILL DOSE AND A COUPLE OF HOURS HE SAID IT WAS ALL GONE THE DEPRESSION  TWICHYNESS ,AND THEN HE WENT ON TO TELL ME HE COULD"NT SLEPP THE NIGHT BEFORE BECAUSE HIS LEGS FELT LIKE HE WAS RIDING A BYCLE / THIS BROKE THE ICE AND I STARTED TO TELL HIM THE HORRA STORIES ABOUT ULTRAM SO IN 2 DAYS /HE AND I WILL STAT THIS DETOX TOGETHER I HAVE TOLD HIM TO PREPARE FOR A LONG HARD BATTLE !! SO PLEASE HELP ME I AM 43 AND HE IS 70 WITH ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GIVE !FOR ANY OVER THE COUNTER HELP WE CAN GET !!
WE WILL HEN THIS WAR ON THE DEVIL PILLS MY FATHER IS SO MAD AT HIS DOCTOR FOR GIVING HIM THIS AND TELLING HIM IT WAS NOT ADDICTIVE !! I TOLD HIM TO JOIN THE CULB THAT WE ARE 2 OF GOD KNOWS HOW MANY HAVE FOUND OUT THE HARD WAT ABOUT ULTRAM
BUT LIKE I SAID WE WILL WINTHIS WAR ON THE DEVIL PILL !
BUT I AM VERY SCARED OF WHAT IS COMING I HAVE NOT TOLD HIM HOW BAD IT IS GOING TO BE PLEASE HELP AND PRAY FOR US !!!!
THANKS FOR HEREING MY WORDS
RANDY Q

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by biker_grunt, Apr 09, 2009
I'm about to walk out of Hospital TOMMOROW moring after 4 days here w/out Tramadol.

I had been taking up to 2500 mgs (up to about 50 PILLS) a DAY for months!!

What has really really helped is "Ativan" which is like valium I believe.  It has been much easire getting off of it with that... I would highly suggest anyone trying to get off at least get a small amount of a med like that, especialy to use at night because when I tried to kick it in the past, it was damn near impossible due to the discomfort.  

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by FinallyFred, Apr 10, 2009
This site is CLOSED.  Move on over to http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/77252 to join in the discussion there.

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by FinallyFred, Apr 21, 2009
This site is CLOSED.  Move on over to http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/82229  and join in the discussion there.


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by andreea13, Apr 22, 2009
hello there my fiance after getting off methadone after 6 years of use has come off it abruptly and was taking morphine and now is taking 2000 mg a day of tramadol. Ive been ready on the internet about this medication but havent found much help how can he come of tramadol if his on such a high dose? please help

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by curvybrit, May 08, 2009
hi everyone

i had been taking tramadol for just over a month to help combat constant headaches. i had been having them every day for over 6 months.
i took my last 2 tablets on wednesday and jeez do i feel bad! i really didnt realise how addictive they were. last night i had about 3 hours sleep in total. had to go to work and dont know how i have survived the whole day there.
my skin is currently crawling, i feel anxious, one minute im hot then cold and still have a headache.
was just wondering how long im going to feel like this for.


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by td188, May 08, 2009
how many have you been takn in a day? I am on my second day of detox from oxys. everyday you will feel a little better. i am still tryn to get more info from others but from what I hear the worst withdrawals are anywhere from 3 to 10 days.

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by merfz, May 12, 2009
I'm so glad I found this topic... I have been wondering if I'm detoxing from Tramadol and now I see that I am.  Of course, my doc said its not addictive and there are no side effects, its pretty mild.  CRAP!  I immediately became addicted and took it even if I wasn't having my (back) pain.  I have been taking 1 about 3 or 4 times a day (not sure of mg) for about 4 months.  Doc said it was better and less dangerous than Oxidocone, which is what I was previously taking for pain.  Anyway, I ran out of tramadol day before yesterday and feel like total crap.  NO energy, can't move at all, everything hurts, skin crawling, hot and cold at same time (literally sweating and goose bumps simultaneously), severe nausea, can't eat anything at all without feeling sick and sometimes vomiting, losing 1 pound a day.. i'm down to 102 pounds!! (I'm 5'2").  The nausea actually started about 3 weeks ago though.. can that symptom start when you're actually still on the drug?  When will this end??  Uuugg... trying to get down kids vitamins when I can b/c I can stomach it, trying to eat a few crackers and water/gatorade.

Oh, and i did not know it has an antidepressive quality.. I'm bipolar and cannot take antidepressants and the doc told me this drug did not interfere with bp... that is such a lie.  

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by 12Stepper, May 21, 2009
I am truly grateful for this discussion. I didn't understand what was wrong--I quit Tramadol about 10 days ago (from 4-8 daily for 6 mos.) not realizing that I might have withdrawal effects. I wanted to stop the Tramadol because it kept me awake at night. But since I stopped, I've been depressed and fearful. There has been a pressure around my eyes, as though I'm going to cry but can't. I thought I was becoming clinically depressed. I've been taking benedral, an antihistomine in order to sleep and thought that was the problem. And I am tapering off that. But this explains the psychological symptoms, fear and depression. It's too late to taper off Tramadol, since I quit without knowing what my problem was, but I have been greatly encouraged by those who talk about feeling normal again and will keep reminding myself that this state will not last. I really wish I'd known about the withdrawal effects before going cold turkey. Thank you all for sharing and getting the word out there.

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by FinallyFred, May 22, 2009
***This thread was closed some months ago because it got too long.***

Nobody will respond here.  

Jump on over to http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/91016
and join in the current conversation.

Fred

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by toproud, May 22, 2009
hello emily thanks for all the info you have helped a to proud man face his fears or at least i have mustered the courage to admit i have a problem

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by reformedshayne, Jun 17, 2009
WOW. I only took around 30-50 50mg pills total, and i experienced the most horrible anxiety/depression of my life when i stopped taking them. This was about 2 years ago, and there was zero on the web about it, so naturaly everyone told me i had an anxiety issue, and i needed an anti-depressant. well, i listened to my body, and just coped with it for 2 weeks, and it slowly went away. I didnt think that it could be withdrawl, especially after only taking it for about 3 weeks. The last night I took it, i felt like something exploded in the back of my lower head, literally. the next day, i woke up and all i could do was cry in a ball on the floor. everything was wrong. i couldnt think. it felt like nothing was real.

brutal stuff.

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by hmr08d, Jun 25, 2009
I am literally shaking while I am writing this but I am addicted to tramadol and have been for 2 years now. I have never spoken a word about my problem. I found this website and it brought out 2 emotions. 1. relief that other people are experiencing or have experienced it before and 2. terror because I don't know if I can quit. I have epilepsy and am scared to death to quit. It's not even necessarily that I can't stand the withdrawal pain, it's that my body won't let me experience extreme pain without me having a seizure, which is very scary. I want to stop so bad! I feel so alone. No one else knows about me and I want to quit but I am so scared. I have seen on here that people have tried weening themselves off of this little by little and I want to know how I can get off this without having a seizure. I can deal with the depression but I am terrified of having the sweating, shakes, and seizures. I don't want to see a doctor and I don't want to do this alone but I know I have to. Please can someone out there help me? I know it's going to be hard emotionally but I am scared of dying from having a seizure from withdrawal symptoms. I know I might sound like a big baby but I feel so incredibly alone and scared. If anyone could be a friend, it would help a lot.

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by mrcrump, Jun 25, 2009
To my Fellow sufferers. My little story began about two years ago. I got Ultram from my friend who is an Orthopedic Surgeon. He said to take it for pain in my hip that I have had for years from riding horses. So when I first started taking it I felt like I had energy. My husband (at the time) would take some with me on our weekends and on trips so we could relax. Well, he never seemed to crave more, but I did. So for the first year I was actually calm with it. Only on weekends I would tell myself. Well I began to take  them in the morning before work, and it was pure HEAVEN!! I was running circles around everyone at work. I eventually quit my job so I could start full time at school. This was May of 2008. I would wake up soar and tired. Like every part of me ached. So I would take two pills as soon as I woke up. Like clockwork I would take another two just as my prescription directed......two by mouth every four hours. Around December of 2008 I was up to 8 pills a day with one in between every four hours I would take the two, if that makes sense. So essentially around 13-14 a day.
       I left my husband in Jan. 09' all the while I was thinking about stopping because I have been in the medical field long enough to know that your Liver and Kidneys, as well as your stomach could be irreversibley damaged from filtering the Ultram. Yet, I would always put it off. I never even attempted it because I was too afraid of who I would be like without it. I frankly really really enoyed taking Ultram. My house was cleaner than it had ever been, my skin clearer than it had ever been, and my weight!! Not an issue at all. So in May of 09' I had been dating THE LOVE OF MY LIFE for several months. He was the only person I could confess my recently admitted addiction to. He threw my pills away and we smiled thinking everything was done and behind us....Wrong again!!   Later that evening after not having my 10-11 pills by then I was getting a severe feeling of anxiety and nausea. That same evening my Cousin killed himself. This sent me into a psychological trauma. For the next five days I ate nothing, and did nothing but vomit, cry, scream, make friends with insommnia, nearly chop my legs off from tingles, and make a trip to the emergency mental health clinic because of serious suicidal thoughts.  
      About five days later I began to feel better. I still felt tired and uninterested in life, but i was clean like I wanted and my boyfriend was very proud. For the next several weeks, I put on fake smiles for my family (which knew what was going on) and fumbed my way through the days and weeks. Well the craving was ever-present, as well as the knowledge that I had another refill at the pharmacy...... : O      So, one day when I was having one of my lower days I decided to pick up the Rx. In a week I finished a hundred pills. The first day without one (because I had no time to get another refill), I had a panic attack and felt all the old symtpoms come back to life.   Needless to say, I was f-ing scared-to-death!! I immediately called my mom, and told my boyfriend what I did. I have finally came to grips that I do not want this stupid freakin lying coniving pill to run my life anymore. I called the pharmacy and let them know I was changed to a new Rx and to erase all my refills. I felt like I was alone in all these symptoms. This morning is my second day without an Ultram, I know that's nothing to brag about, I would rather be saying it's my fourtieth day but atleast it's a day without. My savior has been positive things, like watching my favorite up-beat goofy movies like: Father of the Bride, Step Brothers, and Revenge of the Nerds.  Also a huge help is caffeinated iced tea. OMG the caffeine will bring your zombie ass back to life I swear. No one has posted on here for several months, but I found this site today and I feel like it's a sign. To let me know that I'm not alone. It's not all my imagination, and yes I will frickin survive.  I am curious to see what I am like off this White Devil. I haven't seen myself for a long time. I hope I will recognise me......

My thoughts and prayers are with anyone who suffers from this. You are important. You are not alone.
Love, KS

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by mrcrump, Jun 26, 2009
So today is day three of no Tramadol. I was thinking that writing down my symptoms of withdrawls last time this happened would have been a great idea. It's hard to compare with my symptoms this time. In my last comment I didn't really focus on my symptoms, so symptoms from two months ago when I quit for the first time, cold turkey...   1) severe insomnia 2) panicking about going to bed 3) panicking about getting up in the morning 3) severe fear of being alone 4) The ridiculous restless legs 5) scary thoughts of suicide that seem to come from nowhere 6) the feeling of being in a fog, just staring into nothing 7) nausea and diarrhea 8) sensitivty to smells 9) couldn't stand watching anything depressing or non-happy on t.v. made me want to vomit.      
      So, there is a list of the main symptoms I felt when I stopped cold turkey. In my opinion, tapering is just not right for me or really any other person who's addicted. The White Devil (pill) has the powers to keep you on it. I just had to flush my pills and deal with it.  I can also say that there is no possible way I could have made it this far without my wonderful boyfriend and family. My parents have a long line of drug abuse in their family, so they have been through this themselves and with my brothers already. My hats off to the men and women that went it alone. I feel that the fear of being alone in my first withdrawl was worse than anything else.
     Like I mentioned, today is day three. It's 9:45 am I just woke up after a terrible nights sleep. I didn't fall asleep until around four this morning, I also had to leave the cooking channel on because I was afraid of being alone with my own thoughts. My heart pounded all night, accompanied with hot/cold sweats, it was really fun!!!    Yet, I'm awake and moving. My suggestions to the fellow victims of the White Devil: first things first, buy a box of caffeinated tea (if you can't drink it, buy the fancy health food energy drinks) make a jug of the tea by microwaving 2 teabags in a full mug of water for 2 minutes. Then, fill your tea jug about 2/3rd's of the way full with water, doesn't have to be cold or hot. Remove the tea bags from the little mug and empty into the tea jug. Add sugar with your glass, don't put it directly in all the tea. Caffeine is a perfect replacement for this pill.   Anyways, first thing in the morning is to get your bum out of bed. The second thing is to tell yourself OUT LOUD, It's a new day, I'm alive. I'm going to beat this, this pill will not control my life, I will control my life. I'm going to take this one minute at a time, and I am all I need.       Say this OUT LOUD!!! I mean it.   This White Devil made us feel good and happy the same way we can clean. We have Serotonin and Norephinephrine naturally in our brains.  Stay positive, get up and run around the block, or simply do laps around the coutch. Get your blood pumping, it's the best thing, trust me. Get up say your morning speal, make a big glass of tea and thank God your alive. I also don't care what anyone says about it not getting better one day at a time, even if you don't feel well some days, the fact that your progressing towards total independence of this crap drug that's a huge hurdle you've made it over. I'm here to talk, I'm right in the middle of it too. I'm lookin' forward to day four tomorrow.       Love, KS

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by EmilyPost, Jun 26, 2009
Hi KS,

I read your story! ((((((((((KS)))))))))))))

Click on my picture and go to my journal. It'll say List and then there's a current thread, the palce where everyone can encourage you. We're in Part 11 right now.  This thread is inactive, so copy and paste your entires into the current thread and people in the same boat can reply!

I'm over a year off Tramadol and I take zero drugs now and everything is so much better!

Please join us!

Love and Healing,
Emily

PS send me a message if you cannot find your way to the current thread! I'll try to help!

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by turnin_it_around, Jun 29, 2009
Hello all!

Thank you for sharing all of your stories, on my 3rd day of withdrawal, they have been a great help.
This isnt the first time I have gone through withdrawals, I have had many failed attempts, as many of you have described. I have visited many sights where others have come together to support eachother, yet this is the first time I have decided to contribute and tell my story.

I was never prescribed tramadol, I am a healthy 24 year old. I found the pills which were prescribed to a family member, looking for a high to cure boredom (sad right?) I looked it up online and saw that it was used recreationaly and decided to give it a try. I was off and on for awhile, not a full blown addict, and never felt withdrawals. Some time later, I began taking it daily, I found that it made me more social (i had always been antisocial),happy, had more energy, and actually DIDNT MIND going to work. I would eventually take from 100 to 50 mg a day for about 1 year.

What is so different now? why i am reaching out and telling my story? That is also a sad story. Since the tramadol wasnt mine, I eventually ran out. I looked and looked for more....nothing. I know you can get them online, but I refuse to, I decided to make the BEST out of the situation and stop altogether.  

It sux, I feel really tired, and lame... like I am no fun. But after reading about Emily and all of you, I know I will be me again, even if I have forgotten what "me" was like...

Good luck to all of you... It pains me to see society be hurt and sick becuase the pharmaceuticals companies need profits.

LETS DO THIS, LETS TURN IT AROUND!

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by BingoKeane, Jun 30, 2009
Fair Emily it is I Bingo from CM. I to suffer from severe pains in the Cilla area and have being taking " Trammies" ( as we from CM call them) for months. Have to admit I was a bit sceptical as to the whole withdrawal lark but Mabozar from CM very kindly put this link up and i have read it thouroughly. Mabozar suffers from a dodgy Cilla himself. That and a fair few other symptoms that we will refrain from going into on here. Anyway, i digress...what I'm pacifically trying to say is I'm giving these things the hipsway and suffering as well. It's no easy doll getting off them. Worse than coming off Asda chocolate. A lot worse. Keep the tips coming in. Ghod bless you.

Hail Hail

PS PM me doll!

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by infectedgenetics, Jul 03, 2009
Hey everybody.

I'm here because I'm in here with the rest of you. Today, I started my cold-turkey (not by choice) withdrawal and recovery from my Tramadol addiction. For the past three years, I've been taking tramadol 6 times a day (about 100 mg at a time) for chronic pain from a back injury and pain caused by uterine tumors. Alongside that, I've been taking about 25 mg of hydrocodone at the same time. I've been taking so much for so long because I'm not well off financially, and haven't had enough money for more than just my pills at any given time. It would have been much easier if I'd been able to see a chiropractor and a REAL OB/GYN and endocrinologist like I need to... but because of bad circumstances, I haven't had insurance since I was 17, and I'm almost 23 now. My future In-laws have been helping me pay for this. My future FIL is also the doctor that's been prescribing it to me. It's been hard doing this whole painkiller thing because most of the pharmacists know that I'm somehow related to him, and that is is in certain instances a conflict of interest. My future husband is also on the same exact medication/schedule as myself for other ailments. This evening, I was informed by my regular pharmacist that another of hthe meds my fiance takes has a bad interaction with the Tramadol (and it's one I take on a sporadic basis, Amitryptilene), and that we needed to get off of the Tramadol immediately basically. He wouldn't fill the prescription without talking to Dad first, but Dad isn't available til tomorrow. I talked to him though, and he said he wants us to quit taking it anyway..

Now, I know that's all random BS, really, but I need a little moral support. I admit that I'm addicted. I have no qualms about indicating that. It's been going on for a long time. I'm addicted because the pain I normally have without it (even before I was to the point of addiction) is far worse than most withdrawal. But I'm at a point where if I don't take at least one pill  before bed, I wake up with horrible nerve tremors and pain in my legs and arms... and the headaches I get from even mild sleep-time withdrawals is menacing... and to be quite honest, I'm scared absolutely sh*tless to do this. I've read most of the stories in this thread, and it gives me hope that I can probably function again in a few days.

I'm going to continue taking the hydrocodone for the time being because there have been no contraindications on that one, and I'll need something to take the edge off of the pain. Eventually, I hope to get off of the hydrocodone as well, but for right now, I can't do both at once. It would be too hard on my body. I'm terrified of what the next few days are going to be like because of this.

Sorry if I rambled on a bit. Thanks for listening :)

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by baum714, Jul 06, 2009
Well...  I really don't know where to start.  I have never had any issues with pain medications.  I consider myself to have a highly addictive personality.  My wife and I have been on Tramadol for about a year.  Ironically, both of us had had pain surgery and have been prescribed Tramadol after the Percocets, and Vicodin.  

I completely ran out of pills on the 1st of July.  I am not eligible for a refill until the 9th.  On the 1st I thought I was going to die. I was in a lot of pain from surfing so I went to my primary care physician.  He prescribed me with 20 Vicodins.  I figured I would take 2 twice a day to try to get over the pain and withdrawals.  I seem to have found myself with three of the withrawal syptoms posted on here.  I first started with severe back pain.  Pain much worse that before I started taking the pain.  I then noticed that I was sweating for no reason.  But the worst sympton of all has been INSOMNIA!!!  I can't f... ING sleep.  My legs just want to kick and scream.  I have hit the treadmill and it seems to help.  I feel like a million bucks while I'm running.  I feel even better for a while after.  Then night time comes and I go out of my mind.  

Tylenol PM laughs at me.  It doesn't even take the edge off the leg issue.  I can probably get a refill tomorrow, and I plan to!!!  

I think the most important question here is should I stop taking it.  I feel great when I'm on it.  I think people on here are calling it a demon for the withdrawal syptoms.  How does it hurt when you take it?  So what I plan on doing is taking it in much smaller doses to start.  Then maybe i'll quit.  I'm just looking for a reason to stop taking it if it's helping me.  To beat a dead horse.. what is it doing to people that makes them so interested in getting off?  

The cold turkey thing is  not a smart move.  I can't see any reason to do it.  To me the most annoying thing is now officially knowing that i'm hooked on a pain killer.  I will eventually stop taking it all together.

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by greenbird321, Jul 07, 2009
how long does one usually take Tramadol to experience these withdrawal symptoms? I have a week's worth prescription(for an ovarian cyst combined with excruciating menstrual cramps), and it is a no-refill prescip(that I have no desire to refill).

My question is: should I stop taking this week's worth of 50mg pills now and deal with the pain? or will I be safe from any withdrawal symptoms if I'm only taking these for a week?

thanks!
greenxbird13@yahoo.com

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by madtram, Jul 07, 2009
Hi Greenbird, people have reported some withdrawal after very short periods of use, so there is some risk but I wouldn't expect you to experience major discomfort after only a week.  If it's possible to get a script for a "straight" opiate instead, I would go that way as the antidepressant element of tramadol can complicate withdrawal.

If you want to post more, the current thread is-

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/100973

Best wishes for your recovery,

Michelle

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by greenbird321, Jul 07, 2009
thanks so much!

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by endofthetunnel, Jul 07, 2009


Thanks to all who have shared their stories.  These have been a great help to me in accurately diagnosing my problems and symptoms.

I have been using Tramadol since 2003 when my doctors at the V.A. Medical Center switched my arthritis pain medication from Lodine to Tramadol.  Contrary to what you might think, I am not upset with them for this.  It was a choice between Vicodin and Tramadol.  I always hated the way Vicodin 'dumbed me down' so I counted myself lucky to have encountered a medical tech who prescribed the Tramadol as a long-term alternative.  However, I do blame the VA  and ultimately, the government for not allowing patients to receive effective medications.  
They offered me Lodine and when it didn't work, I had to buy Vioxx out of my own pocket (hundreds of $ sent to Canada).  As a matter of policy, the VA regularly dispenses drugs and treatment based upon their budget and, like some other drugs I needed, the more effective ones were off limits.  For as long as I took it,  I hated the side effects of Tramadol - sweating, pinprick itching, and as I know now, the physical pain when 'it wanted more' and a psychological side-effect of never feeling well.  Until read the blog, I didn't know about the depressing 'antidepressant' properties.

I realize that, for many of you,  Tramadol ruined you health in more dramatic ways than it did mine.  Again, part of what they say about this drug is true.  It does affect people differently.  Since 2003, I have had 3 major surgeries (Lung resection and bilateral total knee replacement) .  While in the hospital, I was always given the Lortabs and, of course, other more short term pain killers.  But, I always went back to my maintenance dose of Tramadol (4 to 6/day) between surgeries because I believed that it was for my arthritis (mainly severe back and knee pain). Since I have completed rehabilitation for my second knee, I expected certain things to be better -  and initially, they were just because I was so happy to be able to walk normally again.  I launched into various repair and remodeling jobs around the house and accomplished a lot until I had time to sit down, relax, and think about my new reality.  I had been hobbled by my knees and recuperation from the lung resection so long, that I was in a do or die survival mode and I didn't have time to think about feeling decent or normal like everyone else.  I came to the conclusion that I still had a ways to go because I still didn't feel good.  I went to a Neurologist last October and had a brain MRI and EKG.  Everything checked out.  One thing he told me was that I my nasal passages and sinuses showed a chronic condition.  By myself, I began to explore that avenue.  My assessment had been that I somehow felt I wasn't getting enough air or oxygen.  My complaint was that I always felt tired and I had so much pain in when I woke in the morning that I had to take my medications and just lay in bed for an hour while the drugs took effect (TRAMADOL and Tylenol).  Then, I could go about my business.  But, the lack of energy and sometimes dark thoughts, was plaguing me.  Then, I went to a sleep specialist.  The result of my sleep test was that I had a mild to moderate case of Sleep Apnea.  This condition can cause lots of problems and symptoms of the kind I was experiencing.  Even my doctor at the VA (I stopped going there in 2005), had offered Apnea as a possible problem but I never had it checked.   So, last month,  I got the CPAP machine and noticed an improvement in my mental acuity right away.  BUT still, I had to face the day when I awoke with pain throughout my body and I needed to take my Tramadol and Tylenol just to get out of bed.  Finally, I thought I was on to something!  I began googling and reading the blogs and message boards.  I found this one and read EmilyPost.  When she talked about her reactions, I said "Bingo!"  I decided to stop the Tramadol and started on Naproxen (NSAID arthritis medication).

In the last three weeks, I have steadily reduced the Tramadol.  I have not had a pill in two days as of 7-6-09.   I am still experiencing withdrawal symptoms but I no longer have the 'all-over' pain when I awake.  I can just get up and go about my business.  I have more mental and physical energy too.  I believe that, if I had found that the Tramadol connection a year ago, I probably would not have figured out that I had Apnea.  I would accepted the relief from the drug's effects to be 'as good as it is going to get'  but thankfully, I can count on additional improvement in the future when I get into the habit of sleeping normally.  This will have positive effects on other aspects of my heath and longevity also.  I am 65, 6'2" and I weigh 210.  I am counting on knocking that down to at least 190 or so in the near future.  I no longer feel listless!  

God bless all who have suffered the negative effects of this drug.  It is true that the doctors do not tell you enough about it.  I have asked both a Neurologist and a Pulmonologist and both have said it is not a 'real opioid'  and it is not the problem.  I will tell them what I have learned when I see them next month.  They will have a hard time denying the results.

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by FinallyFred, Jul 11, 2009
This thread of comments closed last December after it got too long and slow.  There have been probably 13 more recent threads since this one closed seven months ago.  

The current thread/formum can be found at http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/104822

Come on over and join in the CURRENT conversation.  Nonbody is monitoring this one, so if you choose to posta comment here, it is unliekly thatt anyone will find your note.  

Again, come on over to http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/104822 and join in the current conversation.  It's pretty darned active.  ALL TRAM TALK - ALL THE TIME.

Fred

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by grateful4life66, Jul 12, 2009
Hey everyone, I have read many of the comments on here and they make me feel much better. I am 23 and was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago, through surgerys, chemo and pregnancy I have been on MANY medicines. Oxycodone, Oxycontin, Methadone and Dilauded are just the main pain medications I have consistantly been on the entire time. My Sig Other has dealt with addiction throughout this whole time because of the stress of the situation and the easy access to narcotics. After a very long struggle with many, many diff drugs, he had finally gotten clean. But he injured his back badly and the last month it has been horrible trying to get him into a doctor that will even take him without insurance muchless prescribe him any treatment that is more than just a bandaid to hold till they can pass him off to someone else. He decided to order Tramadol online as he and I had tried at a couple of years back and remembered it somewhat working without being an "I need it!!" drug. It took longer to get here then we thought it would and he was in a lot of pain, so I (very stupidly) decided to give him some of my medicine in the meantime and use some of the tramadol myself when it got here if I needed it to hold off withdrawls and pain until my normal prescription came through again and I could get back on course.

Through more stupidity on my part I gave him more then was able to part with and was going through pretty bad withdrawls when the Tramadol came, I took it throughout the day and waited for relief, but didn't get much. So at night time I took 200mgs along with some diphenhydramine (which I take every night to help me sleep) and went to bed feeling normal. I woke up at 3am in my bed with my sig other standing next to me, 2 fire fighters, 2 paramedics, and my entire family standing over me in my room with the lights on. I didn't know what was going on, he told me that I had had a seiziure and then I was unresponsive for 20 mins or so, but I didn't remember anything (I still don't).  So after a little while I was able to convince them that I didn't need to be taken in to the hospital and that we would dial 911 the second anything felt weird and they left, I took 1 pill in the am and in the pm the next day and then completely stopped taking it and now I will never EVER touch them again!!!  The problem I have now is that my sig other is coming off of 1000mgs a day (over the last 4 days) and does not want to ever touch again either, but is going through terrible withdrawls while having to work. Every second is a huge fight for him to not take the easy way out and take one of my pills or smoke pot and so far he is doing really well. I was wondering if anybody had any advice or knew of anything I could do to help make this easier on him or provide even a little relief? I got the B-Complex with B-12, niacin, pantothenic acid and B-6 in it, and I found the Queen Helene bath minerals, I have magnisium, valarian, melatonin, diphenhydramine to help him sleep... Is there anything else that is natural (and hopefully not too much money :/) out there to help him get through the next few days?


I also wanted to make sure I wrote down somewhere what happened to me, because it is so scary to me to think that because of 20 hours of a bad decision I could have died, its scary that I can't remember any of it, and its scary that you can even get something that is so scary, online.  I have fought for my life over the last 3 years and so far the cancer is losing, and it makes me very angry to think that after all of that, after fighting to save my daughter while in chemo, after the torture and the pain, after nearly dying twice.... that this stupid, HORRIBLE little pill could have taken everything away from me.Please don't ever take this pill, I can promise you it won't be worth it.  

I am so grateful for all of the posts, thank you emily, everything you say is very encouraging. Good luck to everyone!

---grateful4life---



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by Louinpain, Jul 16, 2009
Hello everyone,  I have weened over the last 6 weeks off of a 50 Fentanyl patch plus about 30 miligrams of opiates a day. The fentanyl patch is an awful withdrawl and because its 24 hours of opiates you have extreeme night withdrawls.  I live in constant pain although I am still only in my 40s.  I am currently down to just one PERCOCET a day and am very proud.  I go to NA meetings every day. However the physical pain has returned in full force in my back.  My Dr suggested a take a non narcotic called Tramedol!!!!  And you all have totally scared me to death!  THANKS!   I have only taken it for two days so I am not worried about withdrawl but if what I read is true its just as bad as what i was on!  Maybe worse!   Not sure how anyone lives in chronic pain but I need to deal now.  because I will not take this tramedol drug and ever have to go through this again.  Is there anything that is non narcotic that helps?  Well thanks for these posts and goodbye to Tramedol!

Lou

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by FinallyFred, Jul 18, 2009
Guys PLEASE, You are killing me.  Nobody will read anything you post here.  This thread is SO long it crashes my computer every time I venture over here to fish new people out.

Please move over to http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/104822 and join in the CURRENT conversation ALL TRAMADOL TALK.  24/7.

Again, move to http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/104822  ;

Fred

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by tflemi2, Jul 18, 2009
wow, i diddnt realize so many people were oing through what i am

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by tflemi2, Jul 18, 2009
my ex got me into these pills again. i was on other pk's a long time ago for a broken tailbone and decided that taking tram would not be a huge problem for me. it made me feel like i had a reason to get up in the morning... it ws ambition in a bottle. now my only drive in life is to make sure i dont run out. i even have dreams about pills!!!!!!! i was laid off my job as a professional painter for a very famous artist because of them. im sure my addiction had become transparent and thus i became expendable (long story). Now i feel like i cant paint or make my music without them. when i run out i cant sleep, (the restlessness is killing me) and i dont want to so much as take a shower. my motivation is completely shot!!!!

sooooooooo.... i ran out of pills 2 days ago and now i am not only suffering the symptoms you all have mentioned, but i have to face the real world again (which is worse). The severe emotional distress is the worst for me. i think in terms of colors, shapes and notes and when i cant create i am completely lost.

i am blessed to have an amazing boyfriend who is understanding and will do everything to take care of me... but i still feel alone. my pills come in 2 days (i get them online) and im planning on weening myself off. lol i tried to cut off completely and there is no way i can do that!!!!! i cant believe people say these are non addictive. I have not prayed in a long time and i just did.... please, if anyone out there can, please pray for me to have the strength to get through this and to pick my life back up again. pray for me please even if you have no faith. this stuff has destroyed the life i built for myself!!! i worked so so hard to get that job..i gave up everything in chicago to move to nyc in 2 weeks time. i threw away all my things. i gave up everything for my art and my dreams and now i have been putting all that effort and passion into feeding my addiction. please pray for me. i promise i will add something good to this strange world if i can just fight off my demons.

thank you so much for this journal!!!!!!!
taylor fleming taylorflemingart.com

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by madtram, Jul 18, 2009
You need to move to  http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/104822 for the current thread.


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by Randall1600, Jul 29, 2009
Hi i had a serious motorcycle accident in march 2005 i have now been on Tramadol 400mg sometimes 600mg per day for 4 and a half years. I have just started or rather decided enough is enough and im coming off these things, its murder i cant cope its driving me insane. I have never in my life experienced anything like this , the withdraw syptems are worse than being ran over by a bus. has anyone been on them this long ? and how long did it take to get back to being normal? someone please help with some imformation.

Kind Regards Paul Randall EASTBOURNE

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by lawgirl_7, Jul 31, 2009
I just went cold turkey, flushed the whole 180 tablets down the toilet. Of course, it is day 2 and I am regretting this rash decision. I am so tired that I can barely move, I feel like I have the flu, I can't go up and down stairs, and I can't stay awake! What the hell is wrong with me? I never felt like this on days when I didn't take Tramadol, I have been taking low doses for a few years now for unexplained body pain post cancer. I was told it was better than other drugs because it works on the brain different than narcotics, they didn't tell me that it would do this when I went off of it. Damn, makes me want to stay on it, I still have plenty of prescriptions, but my husband doesn't like the way it makes me act. Who knows, day 2, and counting.

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by findingfarrah, Aug 06, 2009
by findingfarrah

I was hoping you could shed some advice for me, ... I have taken Tramacet (tramadol 37.5mg with acetaminophen) for about 1 year (for chronic pain, muscle tension in my neck), and just over the past few months I have been taking it once or twice daily. I had missed two days of doses and felt horrible (shakes, chills, sweats, diarrhea, nausea, extreme fatigue), however the pharmacist told me it was not withdrawal, but rather a flu. When I took my next dose I felt better, and actually slept much better, without the sweats etc. Is it possible to suffer withdrawal when on a low dose, for a relatively short period of time? I am also wondering how to taper this medication safely, as the pharmacist said it is fine to stop it, but I am afraid of suffering, but would like to discontinue use of this crazy stuff!!!!! Please help, and thanks for sharing so much useful advice on this post.


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by MIKEHELP, Aug 11, 2009
im michael im 21. in august 08 i started to diet and run to gain fitness. i discovered i had nerve pains that felt like the neves was burning and really really itchy. i then realised just walking had a little pain. the physio thought she diagnosed me. it is now august 09 a year later. last month i had a mri scan and a nerve test ( nerve test conducted in my legs).
i have to wait till september 9th to see a neurologist as the last specialist didnt know what was wrong with me. anyway. i started on some useless anti inflammatory. i went back and got put on tramadol.At first it was heaven. id get waves of drowsyness that felt a little pleasureable. ( i take 8 x 50 mg a day ). this kind of helped ease the pain. As of now i get nerve pains in my feet up to my legs my back my hips my hands my wrists sometimes rarely in my jaws when i eat.i been on them about a month or two. one night someone rang my mobile and that night i couldnt sleep. ( ive had seriously bad sleep since doctors gave me ritalin and then dexedrine ( DEXAMPHETAMINE)  because they thought i had adhd. So
my sleep went seriously messed up and  because of this i suddenly dropped taking the tablets initially until i  sorted my sleep out. 2 days clean i was living in pure hell.
i was cold and hot and had the most disgusting sweat. i felt sick and had flu ish type conditions i new immediatyl why i am not stupid. the doctor has actually made my intial problems worse. the stress and anxiety has made my neck and shoulders fill as stiff as concrete. ive realised a really hot bath with clary sage sea mineral bath soak ( radox ) fixes all my problems although i started getting nerve pain a hour after the bath. i felt in heaven in the bath. im considering have about 2 or 3 baths a day now.
i have just thrown away all my tramadol they are not beating me. i havent been to bad until yesterday
i tried to describe to my mum wat i was going through she blocked hear ears and made loud noises.  i went to my room and cried and rang my dad saying i cant live like this anymore. i felt like taking all my tramadols like 100 and just sleeping for ever. dont worry i am not this stupid. i actually was so tense and so sad in pain i threw up last night.
i feel totally alone now. not only have i been at home for the last year doing pretty much nothing its so depressing being 21 and not be able to work go to the gym , play football.
i think stress from my mum and other contributing factors brings back the  cold turkey feelings. JESUS the sweat is un bearable. i can live with the pains of my nerves and back. it has been a year now. its half as bad as dealing with coming of tramadol. i actually think a hot bath works better for my nerve pain then the tramadols. why do i keep thinking about death? whats up with all these random thoughts jumping into my head. my whole body right now feels like a giant bag of sweat. my left leg the nerve is on fire. my back feels like someone has hit me with a sledge hammer. welcome to  a day in the life of mike.
please if anyone has gone through similar things to this or has any ideas for help please tell me. i feel very alone on this subject.

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by madtram, Aug 11, 2009
Hi Mike, all of what u r experiencing is unfortunately typical for tramadol withdrawal, you are not alone at all.

Tramadol is partly an antidepressant which seems to cause suicidal feelings in some people when they take tramadol or withdraw from it.  The sudden change in your brain chemistry when u stop taking it also often causes depression until your brain sorts itself out.

This thread has closed, please copy your  post on to the active thread

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/111239?personal_page_id=528316

There is lots of support & we will get u thru this.

See u on the new thread,

Michelle

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by kelaltieri, Aug 24, 2009
hi everyone. i've been mulling around this forum reading everyone's story and i've decided to post the short version of mine.

i was in a car accident 3ish years ago. i was prescribed tramadol and/or ultram ER on and off for a while. i quickly became addicted. my doctor then stopped prescribing it to me and i detoxed. it wasn't that bad from what i remember, but i wasn't taking it for all that long either. and i've also detoxed from heroin in the past and it wasn't all that different from that.

so, some odd months after that, i started working for a veterinarian and they had tramadol on hand . as much as i wanted! so, i started taking it again .. alot. i was up to 12 - 50mg pills at a time .. a few times a day. then, i had a complication from my gastric bypass surgery and was hospitalized for almost a month. there, i was receiving IV pain meds at regular intervals, obviously. so, i comfortably detoxed from tramadol.

more recently, i started taking 750mg tabs of vicodin and became addicted to that. the person that i was getting the pills from gave me her doctors name and i started getting tramadol again, on top of the vicodin .. and 300mg ryzolt (extended release tramadol), which i was breaking in half and taking 3 of them a day, instead of the 1, as directed. i wasn't as bad as i was in the past, but i got up to 6 or 8 - 50mg tabs again, if i didn't have the ryzolt or vicodin, which i was taking at 3000mg at a time. i don't have the willpower to taper myself off these pills. so, i decided enough was enough and decided to get some professional help. i decided that an outpatient methadone clinic was best for my life style and financial and personal situation. so, i went there, filled out paperwork, saw a nurse and they did a urine screening. because tramadol isn't an opiate, my urine came back clean and i was told that they couldn't help me. but, the director told me without coming out and telling me to go get some narcotics and come back. ethically, he couldn't come out and tell me that .. but, i read between the lines and swallowed a handful of vicodin and went back the next day. i've been on methadone 40mg for 7 days. besides making me tired, i feel NORMAL. finally. i haven't decided on maintenance or detox yet. i'm taking it one day at a time.

i just wanted to share my story.

good luck to everyone.

tramadol is the devil.

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by pattibelle, Sep 05, 2009
I was perscribed Tramadol for my neck about 3 years ago. Physical thereapy and 1-2 pills a day did the trick. I was told to take it only if experiencing pain, but I  liked the euphoric feeling I got so I took it everyday. (It's okay- it's not addictive). Then I gradually developed excruciating pain in one foot and ankle. so eventually I was taking 200-300 mg daily. Due to my genius I was left with a friday and a three day weekend and 3 tablets.  I took 1 pill friday morning, checked in with you guys to see what to expect and waited. I started to experience flu-like symtoms that afternoon and last night was horrible. Night sweats, trouble breathing and NO sleep. I tried Tylenol PM--nothing. I swore I was just going to tough it out--I'm a recovering alchoholic so it's nothin' new. I finally took one of my precious pills around 3 am and eventually fell asleep and woke up about 9. What a horrible night!! I feel pretty good today-just a little anxious. I think my alcohol experience actually helped with withdrawal but I am not looking forward to tonight. The really great part of this story is that I have been using crutches since January. There was no way I could walk without them. This morrning--NO CRUTCHES. I'm thinking Tramadol may have caused my foot pain. I specifically asked my doctor if that was possible and she said no, although swelling is listed on the insert as one of the side effec Oh, I hope my lack of pain is not a fluke! Has anyone else experienced swelling from Tramadol? I know I will not be picking up my subscription.

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by CTP1956, Sep 07, 2009
Hi everyone,

I am really thankful for this forum. I have learned so much about this drug (Tramadol) from all of you. I was prescribed Tramadol after about 6 weeks of Hydrocodone for a very bad broken wrist. The Hydrocodone gave me no problems when I stopped taking it but just recently I have reduced my intake of the Tramadol down to two 50mg tablets per night (I was taking up to eight per day). I am trying to completely stop taking this drug but I discovered that when I don't take it I go through a night of anxiousness, tossing and turning, and no sleep. I am surprised that this can happen with such a small dosage. I figure that I am going to have to reduce my intake gradually to get off this Tramadol or just go cold turkey. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cp

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by semanticslanting, Sep 18, 2009
CTP: A small dosage.... hmmm. That's what I thought I was taking. I started on about 50 mg once a day maybe three times a week. Not even daily! For about three months. One day my pain was really bad so I took 100mg at once and it was all down hill from there. I didn't even realize that slowly I was taking 50 mg daily instead of on a random schedule or that some days I might even take 150 mg in a day to relieve a sort of dark presence that wasn't even really pain. Thankfully this only lasted for about two weeks until I started to limit myself to 50 mg a day again. That's when I started to feel the horrible pain and thought I was getting really sick or something. I would have

Shooting aching pain all up and down my legs (worse than the pain I am taking the stupid drug for)
Profuse sweating for an entire day at a time
Jitters and shaking
And worst of all, anxiety, impatience and downright meanness

My husband observed (he kindly waited until we realized that it was withdrawal I was suffering) that I seemed like I used to back when I was manic depressive.

Now I am tapering my dose down and today I took 25 mg. But I'm up on this forum at 3:45 AM because I was laying in bed rolling around clenching my jaw, shaking, flailing and not able to breath. Now the stomach ache is coming on and it's going to be a lovely morning spent in the bathroom. Reading this post, I can't even believe how snippy and sarcastic I sound... this isn't me at all! This weekend is detox weekend, no meds, and I am terrified. I have a 9 month old daughter and I don't think I will be any use to her.  I think I am going to eat alot of chocolate (if I can keep it down), read my bible and pray.

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by madtram, Sep 18, 2009
Semantics, please post on the current thread so that we can all respond to your posts.  Come to this page:-

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/121261?personal_page_id=142

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by nascarfan2488, Sep 20, 2009
I am on day 6 off of this ****!!!  I went through some rough stuff.  I have a day where I have a good amount of energy, and today not too much.  My Dr. said I will be back to normal within 7 days? I think he might be right. I have down times but no more withdrawal pain.  I do get alittle antsy at night. Any tricks to stop that?

Good Luck to all

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by CTP1956, Sep 26, 2009
Well here it is September 25th (18 days since my last post) and I am still working the Tramadol addiction out of my system. This week I have had two days where I took no pill at all and the rest of the days I took only half of the 50mg pill. I still toss and turn and feel anxious when trying to sleep at night but not as severe as before. Non the less, trying to get a good nights rest is still not happening and it has been very difficult trying to function during the day with the minimal sleep that I've been getting. I will not be taking any pills this weekend and hopefully by Sunday night I can be totally off of this horrible stuff. I long for a good nights sleep!!!

To nascarfan2488,

From my personal experience the antsy (anxious) feeling you are having is still the withdrawal effects of that Tramadol so you are not out of the woods yet. As far as any advice to stop the antsy feeling, I have none other than to take a Tramadol pill which I don't recommend.

Good Luck to everyone struggling to get clean of Tramadol

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by CTP1956, Sep 29, 2009
Hi evreyone,

Well, I believe I am finally free of the tramadol addiction. I have actually had two nights of good sleep without tossing and turning and that awful feeling of anxiousness.

Cp

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by FinallyFred, Oct 03, 2009
This particular thread (forum) is no longer active or being monitored.

Come on over to the current site where you will find 24/7 tramadol experience, strength, hope, and chat.

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/121261

Again, if you post here, nobody will read what you post.

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by elvador, Oct 16, 2009
If you have Tramadol Capsules  Pull the capsules apart and tip a tiny amount out of the 50mg each day. Then put the capsule back together  I would recommend 1 in the morning and one at 6PM. Then empty them as you go even down to the last granules. (do not inhale them and wash hands afterwards.) I take not Responsability for your actions but this is what i did as no one told me to do this.

Obviously if you are on a massive ammount come down one tablet a day until you get to this point. If you are having trouble getting to the 1 x  50mg twice a day (then applying the emptying trick)  Go to the Doc and Get some Zydol. Slow Release. these will take the withdrawals away but also stop the tramadol High. Which you may find you are looking for.

I find that all the tramadol does is keep you at a constant of what you use to be. So Coming down will be hard at first. You lived your life without them so do it again,

Remember you have to WANT to get off them.  If you find yourself getting happy getting your new pack of Tramadol then please try this.

Once you have your last granules (and dont rush it) you will find that you can actually wake up and not even think about it,

I did this and didnt feel and withdrawals.

I took them for years and this is the only thing that works.!!!!!!!!!!!!  (after trying about 10 different things.)

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by nicetobeme1, Oct 17, 2009
Hello...

I discovered Tramadol 1 yr ago, i was sitting at home and iv gotten a headache so i was looking for some tylenol instead i found some Tramadol that my mom was using...So i took 1 Tramadol and in minutes my headache was gone but not only that, i was a completely different person, i felt happy (For no logical reason), i felt strong, my attitude was boosted up i was ready to meet the president and just have him listen to what i had to say, i felt itchy (which felt good for some reason i kept itching and it felt good), anything i would do that night seemed so interesting, i watched a whole episode of sex and the city!! I WOULD NEVER EVER BE CAUGHT DEAD WATCHING THAT ( NO offense to fans, just not my kind of series), but what im trying to say is that that night i took the tramadol everything around me was so interesting and fun, and i was alone home?!!! Watching TV was exciting like never before..Anyways that was the first night that i experienced Tramadol.....

So next day i woke up normal didnt feel any symptons or anything i just remembered what a great night i had last night and allready thought to take another one the same night just for fun!  (And i am not a drug person, i have never ever at that point in my life taken any kind of drug)...So i took it again and again for 3-4 months, but i noticed that 1 PILL didn't give  fme that nice itchy,exciting,happy,wonderful,superMAN-feeling ANYMORE! So what do we all do then? Yes,moreand more and more and more , so i was up to 13 14 pills a day but i refused to think that im addicted to the damn pill....

Luckily for me my mother noticed someone was stealing tramadol and FAST! So we had a talk and she told me i need help and stuff so she hid the pills from me and i never saw them again until a year later....But during that period without tramadol i felt like a ZOMBIE , i was the complete opposite of what i was while on Tramadol, i couldnt even talk to a 5 year old and feel smart when i wasnt on Tramadol let alone what i said earlier.(The President)...So i started having pain in my stomach, i started sweating and the sweat would stick to me and it was so cold i would start shaking and shivering from my own sweat, i lost my job, lost my Girlfriend at the time, my friends kind of disappeared because i was nowhere to be found, i was at home having the worst time of my life, i couldnt get any sleep and so on, basically iv had the same symptons you guys have had....

After about 7-9 days of torture , depression, hell zombie like feelings, anxiety, insomnia, cold sweats, shaking and shivering istarted to feel like my old self again, the healthy person that i always have been, i dont even smoke, or drink alcohol, i was training kickboxing and playing soccer be4 Tramadol, i was sexually more active but when i was on Tramadol you could have brought Pamela Anderson over naked to my APT and say "SHES ALL YOURS!" I would probally pass..i donnt know why but i had no sex drive while on them....ANyways its a long story and hard to type it all, its much worse than what i m able to write here since im using a real ****** computer....

A year later i came actoss some Tramadols and i took them in my hand, must have been like 6 or 7 pills, i thought about taking them AGAIN( This is a very dangerous drug and while taking it, it will try and make your brain believe that its actually OK to take these pills) Anyways , i did NOT take the devil pill again, instead i CRUSHED THEM and FLUSHED them down the TOILET where they belong, i seriously hope the rats dont get a bite on that ****, !!!


I am done with TRAMADOL 4 ever and it was a huge mistake on my part to even take that poison, i even got my mom to STOP using that devil little PILL...I quit cold turkey but i was in pain and felt horrible, thought about suicide etc..At the end it all paid off i am clean and the happiest person in the world, and i am ready to meet the president once again but being my oldself...I hope you guys can understand what i wrote here, i know its not the best english.......

I wish all of you  the BEST and please stop while you can and while youre not up to 20-30 pills a day....If i can help anyone i WILL e-mail if you have questions......***@****

God bless you all and dont worry, YOU CAN DO IT! PLEASE DO IT!

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by KeithTram, Nov 01, 2009
My first post, I need advice on my situation!
I got a prescription for Tramadol for back pain and restless nights and slight anxiety about a year ago.
When I first took it, it was like, WOW, I feel NORMAL again. My muscles no longer were tense.
Unlike other drugs and  alcohol for me, taking more did NOT make me feel better!!!
I even found I can break the pills in half !
I have been taking 1/2 a pill spread out about 3 times a day and feeling normal.
I RECENTLY HAD MY BACK WORKED ON AND IT FEELS GREAT SO I STOPPED TAKING THE TRAMADOL.
But now I am fidgety, antsy, tired and don't feel like doing anything. My outlook on life is worrisome and my skin feels like I am getting the flu.
Advice?
Is my low dosage appropriate?
Things to try besides vitamins?
... Keith




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by DrStop, Nov 05, 2009
Hi. This is my first post.
Grandma used to take percocet, and I robbed her a couple. They were wonderful. Everything made sense. I had strength, happiness. Opium, yes.
Grandma died, so I figured a way of getting what I thought was the next best thing and eventually bought trams on the Internet. Huge mistake.
I actually stopped using them last year, after having used them for about a year. I never had more than 150mgs a day, and mostly had 50-100. My eyesight was sore, I was moody, and I just hated to feel the craving and the urge to satisfy this stupid low addiction. So I tampered and went cold turkey after reducing the doses to 50 mgs. Two days of hell, and about a week of mild suffering.
But I bought more trams on the Internet, a couple of months later, for no reason whatsoever.
I have a full 90 pill box, and I know I have to throw it away, but I can't go all crazy with work and family around. There's no way I'm telling my family. They rely on me. I've given them so much support and advice and counseling while passing a tramadol high, it's ironic as the Mr. Beelzebub.
You are all lovely, and I beg of you, pleeeeeeease, after narrating the voyage to hell, share some good news with us, so that we can get the courage to quit this damn pill. PLEASE share some good news and anecdotes!!!!!!!
Love.
AC

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by EmilyPost, Nov 05, 2009
AC

Click on this

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/134691

That is the current thread, this one is very old! See you there!

Emily

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by SaraLee472, Nov 09, 2009
This is my first post, glad I found you guys.  I've been on the Tramadol for over a year  and I'm up to sometimes 800mg a day.
I take 8-50mg tabs in the morning (JUST TO FUNCTION) and then maybe 5 or 6 in the late afternoon to take away the headache that usually results from the mornings "dose".

The history is irrelevant right now, but seeing as I am again faced with withdrawal (because I ran out and I don't think the doctor is going to refill them, despite him knowing that going from 800mg a day to nothing will likely result in the worst withdrawal imaginable. So I ran out Saturday night, but left myself 3 pills, thinking, it might help the W/D a little to have SOME.

After I Took those last 3 Tram, got ahold of some Vicodin, and basically since Saturday night have been taking Vicodin in smaller doses (well smaller for ME, 6-5/500 tablets) when the withdrawal from the Tram starts kicking in.
(funny how Vicodin is so much easier to get... they prescribe it like candy...folks must be getting the message about Tramadol)

Seeing as  they work in a similar way, I've been trying to trick my body into thinking it's getting Tramadol with little success.  I've managed to keep the withdrawal at bay for a bit, but am starting to panic since now the Vicodin will be gone by the end of today.

I went through Vicodin w/d when the doc switched me to Tramadol, but it was nothing like the Tramadol w/d.

Just in 18 HOURS with no Tramadol, I began to feel like a caged animal, pacing, restless, agitated, crying jags, sweating.....I don't want to do it again. EVER. Not even a little bit.

It's very commendable that a few of you have gone off and herbed supplemented and yogaed and suffered through, and you're all better than I am.  

My questions are these:
#1 HOW LONG DOES THE WORST OF THIS W/D LAST
#2 HOW MUCH ATIVAN WILL I HAVE TO TAKE TO GET THROUGH THE WHOLE W/D
#3 WILL THE VICODIN ACTUALLY TRICK MY BODY ???  Will I be able to take Vicodin to ease the Tramadol W/D for a week, then just leaving me with the task detoxing of the Vicodin?



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by maggie66, Nov 09, 2009
WOW! I can't believe that there are soooo many people besides myself addicted to this stuff!  I have been taking tramadol for about 6 years, 3pills of 50 mg a day (150mg daily).  I was told that it was  non narcotic but started to question that when i would get very moody if i missed a dose.  1 week ago i started to to taper off of the drug, I am now taking 25mg -3 times daily.  I keep getting the chills my heart seems to be racing, with some shortness of breath.  tomorrow i was to taper to only 25mg per day but am little worried with the W/D's i am having.  Should i drop to 25mg or or let my body adjust to this 75mg for another weed or so first?  It is good to hear others going thru the same situ. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. I AM going to get off of this stuff and am pretty excited about that fact.  

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by never_again14, Nov 10, 2009
I have read many comments for many months and finally i am posting because i really feel like this is the time i am going to get myself off this horrible drug they call tramadol. I was in a car accident about a year and a half ago and i was originally put on percocet by my doctor and i weined myself off percocet witch was very hard and began to take tramadol (bad move). I did research on my pc before i began to take the drug and for some reason i found websites just like this stating that the drug was great because there was NO withdrawl symptoms. That was definitly the work of the devil because these withdrawls are way worse than percocet withdrawl and i was on 80mg of percocet a day for over a year. It is 2am on day 2 and i am writing a post wtf!!!! How long do the physical effects really last? i have been on tramadol for about 5 months and i was up to 15 50mg pills a day. I have the option to get more pills and i really dont want to go that route. My life has completely gone in a downward spiral  because of the meds and i just want my life back. Any info or encouragement will help.

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by madtram, Nov 10, 2009
You can do this, it might be one of the toughest weeks you have ever had but things should start to improve noticeably after that.

This thread is full so please copy/paste your post above onto the current thread at:-

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/134691

There are others who have gone cold turkey or are tapering off doses as high as yours & you can get pretty much hourly support at most times of the day.

See you on the new thread.

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by Overcast, Nov 17, 2009
You guys wondered if this helped anyone or if it would - or that people would listen to you over a doctor?

I have an incurable skin disease - called Hidradenitis Suppurativa - it *****, it's massive amount of pain.
I've been on Tramadol for maybe three months now.

Prior to finally getting able to get to a doctor, all of my Medical 'care' was self-help. I also 'self-medicated' - EG: Smoked Green stuff, lol. I've been off that a while - to be honest; kicking the 'pot habit' was cake. You might end up irritable for a couple days - then on with life. It's all in the head.

Tramadol - sometimes; even after three months I can feel a bit of a 'pull' from it. And when you mentioned the 'anxiety' it was like a board hitting me in the face. I had an unusual 'bout' of anxiety the other day, never had anything like that in my life. I wasn't thinking too much - I popped a Tramadol and you know - now that I look back, it went away after that - mostly.

So... I'll be talking to my doctor and see what he says. After 15+ years of pot; and dealing with others in the 'black market' end of drugs - I know what addiction can do; and I know when something's 'pulling' a bit more than it should. I've never been on anything hardcore, but I've taken care over the years to 'keep myself' in control. Heck, I've even seen people so 'addicted' to pot, they just can't go without it - they can, but the need to realize it.

I took many 'breaks' from anything and everything to insure to myself I was in control.

So - even after 90 days; it's possible for this addiction to start it's 'pull'? It seems light - but I can 'feel it'. I don't think it's "just me" either.

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by Overcast, Nov 17, 2009
Oh and - yes, indeed you probably have helped me tremendously. One thing I have come to realize over the years - more so seeing other people.. Is to NOT tell yourself you are not addicted - be very critical of anything and everything you take.

And then - back off yourself - see what happens.

But anyway - this is a big help. It's the very best information I could have possibly gotten - other's experiences with this.

Luckily, the pain comes and goes with me. But I was taking this when I didn't really need to.. Time to 'evaluate' it, did a Google search - and here I am - glad I did too :)

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by MsBuckeyeBabe, Nov 19, 2009
Hi everyone,

I am so thankful that something like this exists and to know that others are going through the exact same thing as I am right now. I guess it doesn't matter how I got where I am right now but it would at least help me to finally verbalize something that has plagued me for the last year or more of my life. I'm married, have a 3 year old daughter, and am also working on a Master's Degree. So needless to say, its a busy time for me to be going through something that monopolizes my entire being. At first I started out 1 a day, long story short, ended up at 8 per day. The bad thing is I knew what I was getting myself in to. I had a friend who was addicted to the very same pill but was taking up to 14 per day for almost 2 years. I actually helped him go through the horrifying withdrawal, all the while ashamed of myself for having the same secret addiction. There have been about 4 times over the past 1 plus year that I have run out of pills for 3 -5 days at a time. So I've got through the beginning part of withdrawal more than once. And yet I still picked up right where I left off time and time again. And now I'm in a much worse spot. I purposefully ran out of pills because I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I wanted to have one more child but I consistently put it off because I wasn't ready to quit Tramadol. I was beginning to taper off of the pill when we started to try to conceive. I didn't expect to get pregnant after only trying THREE times. I did not time that whole thing with quitting the drug and conceiving a baby at all. But the fact of the matter is, whats done is done. So my tapering went VERY quickly. From 8, to 6 to 5 to 4 to 2 to 0 in the matter of 2 weeks. So now I am 6 weeks pregnant and I will soon be on day 5 of no Tramadol. I'm so miserable physically, but even moreso mentally. I keep thinking that my unborn baby is suffering right along with me. I feel such guilt and immense shame. My intentions were good, but that's about it. So now I have withdrawal symptoms on top of pregnancy symptoms on top of severe mental anguish. However, nothing close to suicidal thoughts or a very deep depression. So that is a bit of good news. I'll take what I can get.
On the topic of withdrawal: it f***ing blows. I haven't slept the past three nights. I'm currently working on night four of the joys of insomnia. I have cold chills running up my body and yet my legs and feet feel so warm, I also have some unexplainable chills in my chest area that can be best described as the pins and needles feeling that one may feel in their legs. So just in case I can't get enough of that feeling in my legs, I get the added bonus of feeling it in my chest AND arms. Restless arms? Only Tramadol would be evil enough to come up with that one. I dread with every fiber of my being when night time rolls around because I know what lies ahead. But no matter how badly night time goes for me, I think the morning hours may be giving the night time a run for its money. It is a living nightmare to drag myself out of bed, and not because I'm sleepy and comfortable. That couldn't be further from reality. I can't get myself up because I feel like absolute hell. I feel like a loser, I feel like every one else is normal and I'm a weak little girl that can't handle life or something. How do I do this? How do I DO this?!
How long does the insomnia last? The insomnia is the worst part for me. I got into Tramadol in the first place because I was a terrible sleeper. Tramadol enabled me to sleep and to look forward, rather than dread, going to sleep at night. It made me feel normal in more ways than one.
Any encouraging words, or honest words, about what is to come for me and this horrible journey? I am so grateful I have so many posts to read and relate to myself and what I'm going through. Thank you for that opportunity.

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by Melissa1973, Nov 27, 2009
Hello there,

You're probably all going to think I'm completely insane for what I'm about to say but this seems to be the place for answers.
I have just come off Tramadol myslef, I was using it because I have a misaligned pelvis that was putting pressure on my spine and causing the most awful back pain. I have had chiropractic work done and because it worked so well I was able to come off the Tramadol, which I did completely 36 hours ago. Since then I just don't feel myself at all. I'm sleepy, very anxious, snapping at my children and panicky and my mind just doesn't seem right! The reason I feel insane and such a fraud  for writing this is that I was only on 1 x 50g tablet a day for two weeks! Do you think it's possible to have withdrawal symptoms from such a small dose? I'm so sorry to have to ask...I just feel like I'm going mad here. Thanks for taking the time to look, Melissa.

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by jinniecho, Nov 27, 2009
Omg, it's so good to know that there are other people going through the same things that I am. Melissa, I've been experiencing the same things you have. I've only been taking Tramadols for two weeks except that I've been taking 2 x50g tablets a day. The reason why they prescribed them for me is because of some pain I was having from abdominal cramps. The doc told me that they weren't addicting, and that I merely had to be careful when driving. Well the first couple of days were amazing... I felt pain free and my attitude was at ease. Everything about the world was grand. But then I had forgotten to take them one day and omg...I thought I was going to kill someone. I figured it was merely because I needed to finish them all...so I took them regularly from then on...now I'm out of them...and I feel like i'm going to die. I'm paranoid about everything, I'm having horrible body aches...especially my arms and neck, I feel cold all the time, and I'm just overall feeling ******. I know that I'm just having withdrawls but I feel so frustrated because I wasn't told that any of this was going to happen.

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by Sophie304, Dec 04, 2009
I am too very happy to have found this board. My heart goes to all of you, and I hope we all feel better soon.

My story: I suffered a complicated tibia fracture that was undiagnosed for 9 days. It was very very painful. I was given tramadol which did little for the pain and discomfort. Then they gave me vicodin which I continued after the surgery. I was in a full extension brace and in a lot of pain and discomfort. I had to go to work, on crutches, by commuter rail and through a very busy city. I resumed the tramadol after I ran out of vicodin. I was feeling better and better, did all of my work, had a lot of energy. 3 weeks after the surgery I was out of the brace and into physical therapy. The therapy is painful, but let's face it, a tylenol is sufficient. But in the past two weeks I took the tramadol because I liked it, 70 mgs a day.

I went cold turkey on Wednesday. Thursday morning at work hell ensued. Anxiety, some chills and aches. Since this afternoon (Friday), it's been just anxiety - crippling and scary. I am having a hard time focusing on my work, so I took the day off. I really hope the weekend is sufficient, and I feel better on Monday. A friend of mine, who is a psych. social worker, told me I will be like new in 3 days. I really hope so. For now, the only thing that helps is reading here and writing this. I helps so much to know I am not alone.

Feel better, all.

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by madtram, Dec 04, 2009
Sophie, well done on figuring out that tramadol is a problem so early on, (compared with many others).  This thread is full so please come to the current thread below & you will get more responses:-

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/138903

Best wishes.

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by zmbl, Dec 12, 2009
Greetings, my surgeon prescriped me tramadol 50 after having hardware installed for four fractures in my leg.  I never had the prescription filled at the time.  Yesterday I had all the metal pulled from my bones and I have this tramadol bottle here (I recently filled all my on hand pain prescriptions in preparation for this surgery) or Hydrocodone APAP 5 MG or Hydrocodone 7.5.  I don't know what to take, but I am reading all of your horror stories Oh my!  I never had any problems with the Hydrocodone, I could usually took it minimally and stopped it within a week after taking it.  

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by fixn2winawar, Dec 15, 2009
hey everyone, the reason that your noses run and the back door trots or any leaking spot is because opiate type drugs or opiates, bind to your sphincter muscles and when you stop taking these meds,BAMM BAMM, these muscles loosen there grip and hence the leaks. i took tramadol for years for pain and everytime w/d hit, i never new why i lived in the bathroom, people keep asking and that is why

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by rexcirex, Dec 27, 2009
When I first get into a Tramadol, I was in other opiates (oxycodone, hydrocodone and even oxycontin).. and Tramadol did help me to get rid of the  other opiates.. Till then, Tramadol its ok. I can't even believe Tramadol was not a controlled substance.. but when I quit Tramadol cold turkey, it was the same hell when I tried to quit the percocets.. Exactly same withdrawals! I was abusing of Tramadol. Im very surprised ti find here the higher dose found on this forum is 400m mg daily. one day I could get easy 10000 mg of Tramadol (20 50's pills a day) a day...

Im lucky I just use it for two months, but when I quit, the withdrawals were there... Today is my day 7 without any medication (except 1mg Clonopin for sleep) Iand Im feeling ok. I started to take multi-vitamins, and extra B-12 for energy.. the very first 4 days are the worst, thej you will get better... The only thing Im dealing right now is the "depression" I have an apoimtn to the doctor and explai n it all, but I think am out of tramadl, actually, I have no pain, whn I was usin painkillers (including tramadol) pain just get back every 4 hours, and when i quit tramadol day 1 my pain waas... very big, like if I was weighting 5000 hundread pounds..

but anywone can quit Tramadol with deterination (just take a week off of work and go cold turkey).. some people do the slow taper wich is good, but for me cold turket" even is the most painful, is the most effective method because opiates (tramadol is a synthetic i know but works the same) in cold turkey you are NOT gonna die, is not like benzos quitting cold turkey on bezos can affect you big way!

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by rexcirex, Dec 27, 2009
Melissa
if you are only one that one small dose, get rid off it.. it takes te day Tramadol gets out, so 50mg a day is no difference at all.. tried one day and you will notice, if nothing change get rid of them and tried to  stay in home at least 3 days.. if for some reason start to feel a little bit better., bo on without them

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by martinmjm, Dec 28, 2009
I have been taking Tramadol for over two years in looow dosages.  No more than two pills a day.  How long will the withdrawal be?

Marty

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by hilldiz, Jan 03, 2010
I have been taking "Devil Pills" for 3 years. Up to 16 a day. They make me super mom, The house is clean, kids are taken care off, crafts are done, dinner is made. I have been off of them for 3 days and I feel like dying. I guess the worst is I do not feel like doing anything. Not a craft, no cleaning, no dinner nothing.  I have Occipital Neuralgia( headaches ALL day long) so I have a reason to take them. I felt like it was a mirical drug. No headaches and the energy of a toddler. Withdraw from tis drug is worse than any opiate. Hope to feel better soon. I should quit but I just can't . This *****!

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by TRunner, Jan 04, 2010
I finally kicked this weekend.
I started taking Tramadol June 2008 - wow longer than I thought.  I had lower back pain for several years and could barely bend over to pick up my golf ball after 18 holes, or walk after getting out of the car after 18 holes.

I noticed this on the internet where I was buying recreational ED pills.  It worked on the pain, I was able to lose weight due to increased running and weightlifting. Dropped a lot of fat.

Finally even the pills would not end the back pain and I had some steroid shots for herniated disc which had gotten worse with the increase activitiy.  Pain was masked by Tram.

I stopped running and slowly pain lessened and I took about 400 mg Tram playing golf and for the 3 days after to relieve pain.

No doc prescription. Just online purchase.

I'm a recovering alki so I probably have some diminished liver/kidney function from that.  I started getting pain in my elbow, then my fingers at nite and big toe a little.  The end for me was pain and stiffness in my hips when I got up after sitting for as little as 5 minutes.  Things started tasting and smelling like urine.  Do I need a doc to tell me I have gout.  And this stuff is killing me.  I felt the new pain and future pain was worse than my back that was getting better as each month went by I did not run.

Got down many times to as little as 50-100 mg per day.  Was doing that till last week when I played golf and took at least 400mg.  I had ordered more cuz they ship overnite but they screwed up my order and none shipped last week.  Thank you Jesus!.

I had 3- 50 mg left and nowhere to get more before New Years weekend.  Took 2-50mg Thurs morn.  Held out till Fri nite before bed and took last 50mg.  I slept a lot Fri/Sat and had little energy. Sunday was better.  Struggled with nite sleep. It's Monday now, I am at work wasting company time, and I feel "normal" I think.

Look folks, I'm not saying it was easy.  I've practised it many times.

I have sporadic pain shooting from my herniated disc.  When I had trouble getting to sleep I used a vibrator on my lower back till it numbed from vibration.  Then I could sleep.

Besides the sporadic sharp back pain which is better than the Tramadol induced pain which has already subsided, I can feel the internal discomfort on my right side that was masked before.  

I hate pain I don't induce thru physical activity.  I can't control it.  

Since stopping drinking I love life and this was not life!

As Huey Lewis says, "I want a new drug, one that won't ...."  

I'm going to do more rational body exercise, stretch, and use of my mind.

It can be done.  It's like quitting drinking.  You have to want it more than death.

With love,

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by kmgreeneyes, Jan 06, 2010
All the info above has me realizing my venture two days ago to stop Tramadol cold turkey is not going to work.  I have not slept in the past 48 agonizing hours.  I have anxiety when I try to sleep. I have missed two days of work from lack of sleep.
   I have been doing about 8 to 10 50-mg pills per day for about two week and before that did about 5 to 8 pills a day for a year or so. So the info above is basically saying I should ween off, is that right?  I cannot miss much more work.

Please help..... this is driving me crazy.

Karen

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by drummer_40, Jan 08, 2010
I've been a Tramadol addict on and off for almost a year and a half. I've done my WDs from this crap about five times, including once in a rehab where they botch