Sabotage

Apparently I self-sabotage any progress I feel I am making -- at least that is what my therapist is telling me.  I don't disagree... it makes sense with all of what she said about that topic.  However, I am still unsure how to go about stopping the viscous cycle.

I am now taking a handful of pills in the morning and afternoon, and a smaller one in the evening.  It becomes tiring... and not taking my meds makes me more tired.  I know I can't continue like this... but I am slowly slipping.  Slipping back into that helpless state.  A state I no longer want to visit; however, it seems that taking my medication consistently is still a chore, when at first it was not... because I was seeing results... progress.

To add to my collection of medication of Adderall, Abilify, Ativan and Resotril, is now Wellbutrin.  As of right now, when I was taking my medication consistently, everyday, I did feel as if it made a difference -- a positive improvement of who I am... can be.  This is one reason why I believe it is so hard for others to understand the trials that Bipolars go through.

Sorry to all who I have neglected on here.  A lot has been going on... a lot of changes, and more to come...