Jun 13, 2010
I've been living with bipolar for a long time. I've never really talked to other people with the same problems except from my blog. Today, I'm starting a new leaf - try and be social. I'm trying to lose the pounds I have gained on all the medications I take. I'm going to fight them with a low calorie diet which I started here on MedHelp. I love this site.
I use to be the life of the party. I could walk in a room and light it up. Why can't I now. I have done a big 360 in my life. I don't go any wear to be around people. I'm afraid I'll embarrass myself. My memory has started to deteriate.
I wonder why I was given all these problems. I'm a recovering Alcoholic but I have been slipping because of stress. I discovered I had Hepatitis C early 90's. Then I discovered I drank because of Bipolar to stop the pain and stop my mine from racing with thoughts. I also discovered I've had ADD for a long time. I ask myself - Why? I'm not a bad person. I was dealt a bad hand and I don't know why. As I'm writing it brings up a long of memories like when did it start. I know I received Hepatitis in the early 90's. I was told I may of gotten it from the blood transfusions I received in 1989 during surgery. I almost died. Is that when it started. I wonder if it was from the beatings I received from my x-husband who I married when I was only 20 years. Maybe is was the rapes.
That's my big question - what causes bipolar. Will find the answer?
I have to each my low calorie tuna sandwich.