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Manic is the only word

Jun 14, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

racing thoughts

,

mania

,

warped mind

,

eyes

,

creepin

,

ice cream

,

HANDS

,

lying

,

successes

,

culinary finals

,

herb garden

,

Pip the Guinea Pig

,

Eating

,

confidence

,

smarts

,

happiness

,

irritating brat

,

names

,

Crying

,

anger

,

jealousy

,

Fran

,

devra

,

Cyst

,

Acne

,

Pain

,

punched in the face

,

dime size

,

misery



For me today. Recently, actually. I mean, I can just feel it. That warped part of me that sees manic as my better half is still here, but I can see it happening. Mania isn't creeping up behind me with a blindfold and an ice cream cone to keep me from screaming this time. It's coming up to shake my hand. Maybe this is better. I can't lie and say I don't enjoy my recent successes. I now have 2 jobs- one paying minimum and one paying 8.50 (oh my goodness), and I'm on high honor roll. I work and I'm not tired, I have a spring in my step. I'm exempt from my finals, and I'm confident in my grade on my culinary final. My herb garden has got the message to stand up straight, I know I'll get Pippin through these mites. I'm eating and confident. And talking as fast as I ever did and my goodness everyone just things so slow, you know? I know that's called racing thoughts, but to me it's called SMART. And I know that's called grandiose (sp?), but to me it's called HAPPINESS. Who are you to take my smarts and happiness? I just wish I wasn't an irritated little brat. I'm so paranoid I almost cry when I see the name of a person whom I have no reason to dislike, because maybe she's trying to take my girl away from me. Probably. Well I know she is. And I'm in deep poo poo when she does. Yes when, not if. What will I do?

Devra will never believe me and I won't see Fran for her to point it out. I'm on my own path now and I'd like to see you tryin catch me.

Bad news is, I'm getting a cyst on my goddamned nose. Well, right under it. See, I rarely (if ever) get anything worse than a small red bump for acne. But when it happens bad, it happens BAD. I get cysts. The size of dimes. I have pictures that would convince you I had a tumor on my nose. Chin. Etc. And  they hurt like hell. Literally like I walk up to you point blank and shoot you in the face with an airsoft gun. Without the bruising. All the pain. Everytime I move my nose or lip. Oh my goodness, I'm burning the **** out of it with rubbing alcohol. This will not surface. The pain I'll deal with, but not the full picture. No, no, NO.

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