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Silence is Golden

Jun 19, 2010 - 4 comments
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silence

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Hepatitis C

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Hepatitis

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Weight

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family

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lonely

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friends

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treatment



I've been living in a world of silence until I moved in with my parents to take care of them.  Both have Altzhiemer's and it's a hard job.  I live in a cracker box in the back room.  I trip over everything because it's so small.  I had to quit my job, break my apt lease, and file bankruptcy all to move in with my folks and take care of them. Then I had a wreck because I forget to pay for my insurance, which I thought I had paid.

To this date no one appreciates my help.  Give but not to be given in return.   My brother's hurtful comment "Well, you get to live scott free."  That was not nice.  I had to give up a lot. I felt God was telling me what to do and I followed.  But now, I've grown tired and ill.  The Hepatitis C I have has gotten to the point where it's making me feel really ill.  I take naps all the time, I itch all over, my stomach is enlarged and have gained weight for no reason.  My mind is actually going.  I'm forget things.  I couldn't even remember that I wrote in this journal.  Or, I forgot to fill a prescription because I thought it was Wednesday and it was Friday.  

The only time I feel alive is at night after everyone goes to bed then I right.  It seems my mine works better then. I don't know why.

Pretty soon I will be going to Wilmington to see my son, grand babies and I'll be staying at a beach house looking over the ocean.  It has a big porch where you can sit and write, draw or just meditate.  My plan is to see if they will let me stay there for about 3 months at a reduce rate.  I have to come home on the 8th because I have some test I have to go to.  Then, I'll just take a bus back.  I want to live my dream life before it's too late.  Especially with my own family, my son.  He's the only Child I have.

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by littleme48, Jun 19, 2010
Seems like you are going through alot...so sorry about your parents and your own health. I beleive you did the right thing to move in and care for your parents. I commend you for being such a compassionate and caring daughter...takes alot to do what you have done not too many people would have. Now, you do need to take care of your own health and sanity because if you don't then who will look after you or your parents. As far as your brother's comment about living scott free maybe he should do all you did and take your place and then he will realize that you are not scott free as he says. You should feel proud of yourself for bring there for your ailing parents. I hope you get to stay at your son's beach house for those 3 mths and have some time with your son and your grandbabies I know those angelic beings will lift your spirits. I hope you health gets better and you have a GREAT time, which you so direly deserve. Always put your faith in God.

Peace and God Bless,
Angie

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by vickie5989, Jun 21, 2010
Thank you Angie, sorry it took so long.  Your words were were very encouraging.  I work hard at everything and I believe my writings (blogs) really help me.  Yep, looking forward to my trip.  I leave next week - can't wait to tell everyone about it.  Maybe a dream will come true while there.

Bless you,


Vickie

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by bearwoman, Jan 11, 2011
Sad, very sad.  
Your remark about the itching.  Aveeno lotion is good.  And flaxseed oil capsules and milk thistle capsules eased my itching nightmare greatly.  I wish that this helps you too.  The itch deprives u of needed rest, and you are decidely not getting good quality sleep.  Good luck with this suggestion.  You are in my prayers.

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by James10500, Jan 12, 2011
Sorry about your Hep C itching is not a typical symptom of Hep C.  Itching is typically caused Ribavirin in Hep C patients treating  the disease.  Are you taking meds ( peg and RIBA ) now.  What genotype are you, what was the result of your last liver biopsy.

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