Jun 19, 2010
I've been living in a world of silence until I moved in with my parents to take care of them. Both have Altzhiemer's and it's a hard job. I live in a cracker box in the back room. I trip over everything because it's so small. I had to quit my job, break my apt lease, and file bankruptcy all to move in with my folks and take care of them. Then I had a wreck because I forget to pay for my insurance, which I thought I had paid.
To this date no one appreciates my help. Give but not to be given in return. My brother's hurtful comment "Well, you get to live scott free." That was not nice. I had to give up a lot. I felt God was telling me what to do and I followed. But now, I've grown tired and ill. The Hepatitis C I have has gotten to the point where it's making me feel really ill. I take naps all the time, I itch all over, my stomach is enlarged and have gained weight for no reason. My mind is actually going. I'm forget things. I couldn't even remember that I wrote in this journal. Or, I forgot to fill a prescription because I thought it was Wednesday and it was Friday.
The only time I feel alive is at night after everyone goes to bed then I right. It seems my mine works better then. I don't know why.
Pretty soon I will be going to Wilmington to see my son, grand babies and I'll be staying at a beach house looking over the ocean. It has a big porch where you can sit and write, draw or just meditate. My plan is to see if they will let me stay there for about 3 months at a reduce rate. I have to come home on the 8th because I have some test I have to go to. Then, I'll just take a bus back. I want to live my dream life before it's too late. Especially with my own family, my son. He's the only Child I have.