And it's only Saturday. Yesterday? I went to school , presented, left, and went to Steve's! Hung out their, read, napped, drove away to hang out with alex- called her and she was busy. Oook, went back to steve's. Read more. He plaed guitar. I get a call from my mom saying alex is looking for me. In a bit I head home. She borrows my shoes. I hand feed Pippie.
I get ready for work, drop steve off, and go. I miss graduation. I truly do. But no turning back at that point. I get to work and have forgotten my papers. ****. mom brings them for me. I get to work. Hayley shows me around. Im rather bad at remembering recipes for salads or desserts. It's slow for a while, till when we would close on a slow night, then it gets busy. Isn;t it always that way? I like the hussle though. I feel GOOD when I'm working fast. It was still a long night. But good. I'm intimidated. I have an actual SCHEDULE. How awesome is that? I went home and finally showered and then fell asleep sitting up at the computer, crawled to bed. Explaining my lack of update last night.
Today: Woke up and mummy made chocolate chip crepes! They were wonderful. I was playing sims when steve got out of work and picked me up. I took a while to get dressed. We went to his house and he cleaned the rats cage, and we gave them a bath. Then he took a little nap, and we went back to my house. I bathed the ferrets and clipped their nails. They're still mad at me. I then thought I'd feed Pippie and give him a little scrub down. But he wasn't doing well. I felt like everytime he moved the slightest bit he was in pain. He had this heartbreaking, weak little squeak, I just wanted to hold him and rock him but he wasn't comfortable. He was too warm wrapped up. I tried to feed him, he choked. I tried plain water, no go. He wouldn't chew. I was so scared when he started to sputter. I felt like the worst person in the world. I rocked him and then handed him to steve when he started to mildly seziure. But only so I could run and find a box and put his towel and bedding into it to keep him confortable. He was siezuring so badly he'd completely stand up when it happened. I laid him down on his bedding and tried to make him more comfortable but I think I was only making it worse. I let him be still and just rubbed his back. My sweet boy. He siezures got more and more severe and I just rubbed his neck, my sweet baby. Then it got a bit better, but we all know that's not good. And he got quieter and quieter, till there was no breathe, only twitches. And then those stopped too. And he was still. And I knew it was over. And I was crying. And steve cried too. And I kept rubbing my little guys neck. And then I got a box, and I made him a bed, and I tucked him in bedding and left him some vitamins to make him strong again, and some timmy grass because it's his favorite. And I closed his box and I wrote the date, and My Pippin, and Goodbye, My Baby. I dug the hole myself, till it got deep and then steve helped me. We put him down there and covered him up and put a tomb stone and I surrounded his bed in rocks and he's ok now. I know it. I know he's ok now. He isn't sick, he's better. He's a happy little man again and he's eating so well and the mites are all gone. He's got a happy little guinea pig family and he's with his parents and brothers and sisters and happy. I just hope he's happy. I miss him. I miss him so much. My room is quiet and feels emptier. My baby is gone. I lost a baby. But he's alright now. That's what I need to hold onto. Because I don't cry anymore. I need to be strong.
I cried some more and then just stayed quiet. I went to Shei's house with steve and we went on a quest to find a cross cookie cutter. I tell you, nothing else could have cheered me up but those kids. Not to mention that baby. I was reading quietly and eating grapes and pretzels and we went in and out of stores and steve carried me alot because I'm so slow. We rolled, cut, cooked, frosted (ate), decorated, a million cookies. We had a frosting fight. It was so much fun. And that's what made my day ok again. I can't be selfish. He's better off now. I love you, Pippin Joy. I love you so very much, my baby, goodbye.