Jul 21, 2010
OK I'm going to just write.......So if anyone reads this don't think I have went Nuts I'm just writing. I'm letting feelings go in what ever way I find I want to....So Just keep that in mind...ty..
Life seems to take you on a Run if you don't keep a hold of your self...If you don't check to make sure you are centered in life. Things will spin out of control and take you by surprise..You will find when things are going well that you should keep your eyes open. It seems every time I let my guard down that life spins out of control. So maybe if I hold on to it tight, Maybe if I stand back and let things just pass me by..Maybe if I just be still it will miss me..I'm scared to live again and let cancer come and take me away again. Oh the pains that have come and gone and the feelings that I have Running threw my veins and I want things to change so bad and I work so hard, Maybe that's the problem, May its not to be work? How would one know? I don't know which way to go any more. My mind does not stop any more. The worries that I have seem to be endless but at the same time I won't give up. I won't give into the things that scary me. If I do that I am choosing not to live. I have to go on and face things. I need to live my life. I have to feel the pain and the Good things along with everything in between. Oh and I can't forget I am learning to talk again. I'm getting my voice back. I gave it away a Long time ago and I have been scared into thinking I could not speak up for myself or anyone else for that matter. Now I'm letting that go and I"m standing on my own feet. I want to shine...I want to have my family and friends and give to life again and if you want things back in life you have to give and the more I put myself in a box makes it so I don't get to have friendships or love or a voice....So that is what I'm doing I'm learning to use my voice....and Give it my All...