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Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 36

Jul 28, 2010 - 241 comments
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tramadol

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ultram

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Recovery

,

Healing



Good Morning Tramadol Warriors!

Gorgeous sunny day. And people who understand.

Welcome.

We're so glad you found us!

Love and Healing,
Emily

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by booba77, Jul 28, 2010
Badshadow~I am listening  I went cold turkey from about 20 trams a day, and the first 9 days are rough.  You will have recurrent insomnia for awhile, but it will dissipate in time, and you will find yourself sleeping better than ever.  I suggest staying off the trams.  They are horrible.  I used sominex to help with sleep in the early stages. You will need to stay hydrated, get some immodium, etc.  The withdrawals when coming off tram are much worse than other pain meds.  How is everyone?  not much activity lately on here.  I hope that means all is well.  I miss you guys.  Wonder how Pat's trip is going?  Keep your chin up shadow.  It gets better.

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by LBTRAM, Jul 28, 2010
After 3 years using tram, up to 15 a day. I went cold turkey about 24 hours ago. Don't know how long I can go through this hell...

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by Onedaynow, Jul 28, 2010
Badshadow and LBTRAM hang in there, you can do this! There are many of us here who have been through it and come out on the other end and yes, it is hard, scary, frustrating and physically absolutely exhausting but it is doable and worth it. I was able to wean rather slowly but some just cannot do it this way and go cold turkey. My advice is to go through this journal, if you can, start at the beginning. You will find a story that resonates with your own, you will find suggestions that help you to get through the withdrawals, and most of all it will give you hope. Know that you are NOT alone! We are here, and we have been there.
Diane

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by EmilyPost, Jul 28, 2010
(((((LBTRAM))))))))

It really is a hell

But you can do it ... you can stop

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by Onedaynow, Jul 28, 2010
Emily, so great to see you. I can never thank you enough for this site and hope you are doing well!

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by MyFreedom, Jul 28, 2010
Hi everyone ~

I have been a lurker here for a long time. I've decided I want to share my success story with hopes that it, along with the many others, can help encourage someone else to take their life back.

I took tramadol for the better part of 7 years. At my peak I was probably taking around 14 a day. I blame myself for continuing to take them, but just as much, I blame the doc for continuing to refill the Rx for me month after month without question or concern. I tried once to stop cold turkey (about 5 years ago) and failed miserably. I only got to about day 5, I think, before grabbing that bottle again. Ever since that time I was scared to try it again.

Finally in the fall of last year I'd reached my breaking point. I'd finally decided that I was tired of this damned drug running my life. I got tired of always having to make sure I had some with me and making sure that I called in my refill before I needed it. And like many of the long time users, it was no longer doing for me what it did very early on. So, this past fall I went to the doctor for a sinus infection. I had to see a new doctor that day since all the others were unavailable. This changed my life. She asked me why I had been taking tramadol for so long. I hesitated and said.... "I don't know anymore". She said "so you don't need it anymore?" I explained that I wanted desperately to come off of it, but after my cold turkey experience 5 years ago, I was terrified. She told me to just wean myself off. Wow...I never expected her to say that. I just assumed that she would tell me to stop cold turkey. From that point forward, I slowly lowered my doses. I had to at that point because I'd already sealed my fate by telling her that I wanted to stop therein beginning to cut off my supply. Soooo....to shorten the story, she allowed me to lower my dose as I wanted. I kept her in the loop by letting her know how much and how often I lowered it. Once I was clean, I told her thank you....for her help and support. Although she doesn't completely understand addiction (from our point of view) and like many doctors, she doesn't understand how nasty tramadol is....she still helped me make that leap by being supportive and understanding. Well it took me a while, because I'm a chicken, but I took my last dose on March 24th 2010. I'm now 4 months (126 days) tramadol free.

I'm happy to share any details if anyone would like to know any thing. Just ask!

I have some questions for some of the people that are further out than me. First....does the need to stretch EVER go away? Granted it's not what it used to be, but I still feel the need to stretch after sitting for a little while. Second....My energy level is still pretty low. Anyone else still struggle with no energy at more than 4 months out?? It just seems like I would have a marked increase by now. Third.... when did the diarrhea finally end? Or does it? It still randomly shows up for me. Nowhere near what it used to be, but still about once every ten days or so....sometimes more, sometimes less.

Like I said, I've lurked around here since last summer. I decided I should jump in and share my success story. Thanks to all of you for your stories. I started reading them last summer and now  because of all of you, I have succeeded and I will continue to take my life back.

Lastly, I just want to say thank you to Emily. If I hadn't found your story I don't think I'd be where I am today. You gave me the courage to finally do it. The most profound thing in your words was when you said not to be scared...but rather be angry. That changed it all for me. I no longer feared tramadol....I was angry at what it had done to me and what it had taken from me. Thank you, Emily, from the bottom of my heart.

:)

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by LBTRAM, Jul 28, 2010
I'm glad I found this place. It's been about 30 hours of hell but reading the posts here gives me hope to keep on riding it out. I hope for some kind of relief soon. Thanks

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by booba77, Jul 29, 2010
MyFreedom~Thanks for sharing your story.  We can all relate.  I had quit and before I relapsed at 5 months clean I experienced the sae lack of energy.  It is like the energy never fully came back.  Now I am almost 2 months clean from quitting the last time.  I take B-12 and a multivitamin whuch helps with energy, as does exercise if I had the energy to do it....lol.  Just whatever you do, stay positive and stay off of the tram.  The diarrhea is fairly normal for awhile, i still have it sometimes too.  It may take a good 6 months before we heal our bodies entire, but keep faith, because if you are in early stages of withdrawal, the worst of it will be over in about 10 days.  Thanks again for coming out and postingm  There is strength in numbers.  Have a great day.

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by barbie27, Jul 29, 2010
Hi, I am new to this site and am 14 days in from stopping tramadol cold turkey I was prescribed tramadol 2 years ago for chronic stomach and chest pain my doctor said it was not addictive and as I was suffering panic attacks he prescribed lorazapam which I took but I now find out that these tablets should not be taken together and I have now stopped both and it has been absolute hell. Days one to five were the worst pain ever and I nearly gave in but I found this site and realised what everyone else was going through and that it was withdrawel symptoms. My doctor was no help she just stopped my prescription and told me to take paracetamol and said it was all in my head, I told her the pain was real and that I was not imagining it so I have not been back and I am getting through this on my own (until now) I am so tired as I do not sleep and I am now going through terrible stomach pains and heartburn and back ache which I have never suffered from. Has anyone else experienced this? Please please  when will I feel better each day seems to bring a different pain and a new agony I know its the dreaded tramadol but I will not give in to this drug although everyone around me tells me to take one. I was only on three a day and if I new 2 years ago what I know now I would never have put this tablet into my mouth let alone swallowed it it is EVIL make no mistake, how can the doctors who prescribe this so readily not know.
I wish everyone who is trying to be rid of this evil positive thoughts it is so hard and I am only 14 days in but everyday I say to myself another day without it although my pain is bad. I hope I can post thisand maybe continue to let anyone know how I am doing I will have a go now. Barbara.

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by Karen2010, Jul 29, 2010
Hi, I am not sure why I am writing to you all but was hoping maybe someone could give me some words to help me get over this hump...

I have been taking Tram for over 2 years now at 20 50mg a day.  This is actually a stable amount for me since I used to take more at all times of day.  I take 8 in morning and 12 around noon. That seems to get me through till next day.  Since I have stabalized on Tram I have noticed several behavioral issues on the Tram:

- I have absolutely no willingness to date (I am a single Mom);
- I used to regularly go to AA (stopped drinking steady 2 years ago but been sober almost 3 years).  I love AA meetings and have been very active in past.  Still love them but Tram numbs me out so much I just am too content at home or tired to get in shower.  It is hard to explain.  I just dont have the motivation to get there.
- On the occassions I do go to my AA meetings, I have noticed a significant decrease in sharing.  This is not my imagination but my thoughts are fairly gone.  I forget words and lose sentences in my head so am mortified to share thinking I will sound like a child trying to speak for the first time.  I have always been blessed with sharing.  People have told me they have been so moved by the way I share and that my insight was so mature and insightful.  Now, I cant seem to get a sentence together.  My passion is there but not in feeling just in fact.  So it is hard to motivate myself.  I also seem to get very tired sitting there.  This has led me to not want to go.  I feel I am not participating and I am not enjoying the meetings anymore as well as benefitting from them.
- I have basically shut off myself from all friends.  I rarely call anymore and aside from my daughter, work and the one thing I still do and love..hike - that's it.  I have a trail I take my dog on every weekend that I still do.  But usually this is right after my afternoon dose so I am well pumped and have alot of energy to burn for that 2 hours.

Ok, my issue is I want to stop.  But then I start thinking if I tell my doctor who prescribes me Tram for depression, then my one (leg) of supply that is paid by insurance will be  cut off as he will never prescribe me this anymore.  Dont' misunderstand, I still buy from internet as there is no way he prescribes enough for 20/day - try 6 a day..but atleast that curbs the cost some what when I use that prescription part of the month.  

I also am convinced I need Suboxone to get off this.  I can't afford withdrawal being a singl working Mom but also I have horrendous withdrawals.  Im sure all of you know this..who doesnt but maybe it is just the fact that last time I tried to quit cold turkey..at 3 weeks I was still going through withdrawal with heavy chills, body aches where I couldnt get out of bed.  That was on a lot less dose too over a year ago.

So, what am I waiting for.  I have gotten use to the morning and afternoon ritual..atleast i feel good those 2 times..for my coffee/walk in the morning to my afternoon.  Its just all around that I am in a haze.  I dont want to lose my friends at AA and feel my life has become so isolated it depresses me.

Why can't I make that phone call.  I am scared doctor will not allow me to use Sub as he still believes Tram is not an opiod and harmless.  Atleast that is what he said 2 years ago when I went to him to get off this.  At the time I was only taking 4 a day and he told me it was to weak a drug to use Sub with and I wasnt taking that many.  

Anyway, I am mainly afraid I will not be able to take the Sub which I need to get off this.  So I dont want to say anything to the doctor.  I thought about going to another doctor first.  

Anyway, just venting.  

Trying to get motivated to make that decision once and for all. Thanks for listening.

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by booba77, Jul 29, 2010
Karen~you may want to try a slow taper if you can.  That way you can allow your body to adjust to the smaller doses.  I cannot believe a doctor would prescribe tram for depression.  It does have an AD in it, but should not be taken for depression alone.  Try going to AA and telling them your story.  Be brutally honest, you will feel better, and someone there may be able to relate or help in some way.  Keep your chin up.  I was up to 20 or more a day when I quit, and it can be done, but I have a little one as well, so I inderstand you not being able to be incapicitated for any length of time.  A slow taper would be best for yiu I think.  I could never taper, If i had them, I would take them, but it can be done.  Keep your chin up.  We are here for you.

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by Karen2010, Jul 29, 2010
Thanks Booba.  I honestly am afraid to mention this at AA.  Because it is "AA" and not "NA" I am concerned some folk's would get annoyed.

I am a firm believer EVERYONE on ANYTHING can utilize the message in AA but when I first came I remember someone talking about drugs and that made me mad.  There is this one guy in some of the meetings I have gone too that has an on-going addiction to percoset and he shares regularly but have heard the murmurings from others.  I also do not want people to start me on day 1 again with the alchohol because I have been on this.  I guess the truth will be when i stop this Tram if I go back to drinking but I feel the success I have had with Alchohol should not be confused with this.  this is different and there have been plenty of times I could have drank with this drug too but I didnt because of my commitment to sobriety.  I know this commitment will be ever tested when I stop this drug but am confident that God will get me through.

I guess I need to do what is best for me and not worry about those ignorant, insensitive people, right?  I have no idea where an NA meeting is.  We have AA all over the place here.  We are very blessed in this area with AA meetings.



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by booba77, Jul 29, 2010
I would look for a NA meeting and give it a try.  It couldnt hurt.  I can see why people in AA would be upset, since it is mainly a meeting regarding alcohol.  You can do this.  Be proud of your accomplishment with alcohol because it is hard to quit.

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by MyFreedom, Jul 29, 2010
Karen

I agree with booba....do a slow taper. After I tried to stop cold turkey (and failed), doing it again was out of the question for me. Thankfully, my doctor allowed me to do a slow taper. I think she could see in me that I was truly ready to stop. I had already begun tapering before I mentioned it to her.

When I began to taper down, the first thing I did was to regulate my doses and times. For instance, before my taper I was taking 3 when I woke up and 3 more several more times that day at random times. I began my process by setting a schedule for myself (setting an alarm to wake me for a dose if/when necessary). I decided to start my process on an 8 hour schedule. The first day (I stuck with 3 tabs) and took them strictly at 8am, 4pm and midnite. After a couple of weeks of this, I reduced to 2 and a half tabs every 8 hours.....about a month later, I reduced to 2 tabs every 8 hours.....etc. Now, once I got down to 1 tab every 8 hours I increased the time to 9 hours then 10 hours. Rarely did I do a dose reduction at the same time as a time increase. It was just easier that way. I would only make my changes when I got over the side effects of the previous change. I didn't really have any major withdrawal throughout the process.....Granted, I did have some, but NOTHING like my CT experience. I had to put up with diarrhea a few days after each change as well as randomly having sleepless nites. I had gotten down to a quarter of a tab every 12 hours once I'd decided to stop them completely. I had very little *bad* withdrawal. Unlike with my CT experience, this time I didn't have the sweats/chills, nausea....sleeping issues and diarrhea was probably my biggest issues. Thank goodness for immodium! For sleep, I would take a half of a flexeril tab...ONLY if I hadn't slept well for several days. Normally I just took sublingual melatonin at nite along with an L-Theanine. Those seemed to help me.

I hated having to even do a taper, but in my mind, I had no choice. I would get frustrated throughout those months, but when I would get frustrated it allowed me to renew my anger for this drug and in reminded me of what it was taking away from me. Thank goodness, this time around I have no cravings for it. I think I solidified my anger so much that I wouldn't go back. When I finally stopped taking them I think I still had a bottle of over 80 tabs left and a refill at the pharmacy...not once have I had a craving. I'm too angry at what it's done to me and how it's changed me. I will not allow it to do it again.

Anyway... If you can, start yourself on a schedule. Pick an amount of time (maybe every 8 hours) and a dose to start with and begin your journey!! You may want to consider not even telling your doc yet. See how far you can get without his/her help.

:)

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by Onedaynow, Jul 29, 2010
MyFreedom, thank you for coming out of "lurking" and posting your story. I have no doubt it will help someone else out there who wants to get out of the tram nightmare.

Karen, I really agree with MyFreedoms suggestions about a taper, as long as you make a plan and really stick with it. I also could not go cold turkey, tried it and thought I would rather die or was dying so ended up taking tram to make it stop. I think it really depends on personality type....an all or nothing type of person seem to do better psychologically with stopping cold turkey, at least from my observations.

Barbie, many of us experienced stomach issues after stopping, I still continue to have occasional issues after being off 3 months. However, I never had the heartburn or a backache, just extreme weakness, breathlessness and leg pain. I think it is always a good idea to get a full health check after being on these meeds as they can certainly mask symptoms.

Booba77 thanks for being around and offering your support and great wisdom.

Pat I hope you are almost home and your trip has gone well! You have been in my thoughts.

To all of you out there, may this evening be peaceful and as tram-free as possible.

Diane

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by howcouldiknow88, Jul 30, 2010
LBTRAM, it does end. For me, the trick was getting through day one. Then my brain started to get the picture. I was still feeling very, very ill, but for some reason I was getting the hang of it. After day 2, everything got better each day.

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by Onedaynow, Aug 01, 2010
So is everyone all right out there? Not much going on here. Hopefully all is well and everyone is enjoying their summer weekend!

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by booba77, Aug 02, 2010
It is extremely quiet around here.  I am still kicking around.  How is everyone doing?  I am 66 days T-free today.  I feel good for the most part, but still a little lingering depression.  I still haven't seen the doctor about trying Wellbutrin.  I am a little doctor shy since getting my hospital bill from having a gallbladder attack.  It seems that having insurance doesn't help that much.  It doesn't pay to be sick, that is for sure, and I feel for people with real health issues, because for the most part, I am extremely healthy.  I hope everyone is ok.  I wonder when Pat will be back from her work trip.  I miss seeing her on here.  Post people.  I miss seeing everyone.  Hopefully that means everyone is healthy and happy, or just too unwell to post.  Lurkers now is your time to come out and post.  I need someone to advise....lol. Just kidding.  Please though, if you feel up to it, share your story.  Have a great day all.

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 02, 2010
Hey Warriors....back from my trip..I'll be straight up...im also disheartened at lack of posting out here...especially when i think of how many are suffering..  Thanks to our sweet Emily for coming out...and reassuring that this site is still here.and there are those of us who are here to help ..listen..do what we can.  and thanks to all my friends..Diane, Booba, LeeAnn, HowCouldI...and welcome to Karen, LB Tram, My Freedom, Barbie...To all out there..all the friends I havent seen for a while..just praying you are all ok ..and living your lives Tram free..wouldl be so good to hear from  you no matter what is happening..
So I was in Southern Calif. on business..staying with a dear friend who broke her leg..I was ablel to share with her my addiction issue with Tram..and she said..wait, I think that is what my dr. prescribed to me last week ..got the bottle and sure enough..a full bottle of Tramadol right there in her hand..she said she took one and it made her sick THANK GOD!! .so here is how my addictive head works..when she was gone to work..i went to her pill drawer and just looked..i think part of me wondered if she would hide the bottle.but as i was opening the drawer..my head said.."what in the hell are you doing" ..i just wanted to look at it..never did i think i would take one..but i guess it's the addict in me that was curious.  so there i was in that house for a week with a bottle of Tramadol..wierd.
My Freedom..congratulations on being 4 months out and thank you so much for coming out of lurking to share your story. You are so right!!  you really do not know that someothing you may say can really touch someone..help motivate them to make their move away from this crap.  
Karen honey...I am sober just 37 days from alcohol..but 97 days out now from Tramadol..and I too want to share about this..but so far all i do is say im alcoholic/addict.. my intent is to try and find an NA meeting and see how it goes.
To the new folks..I am a product of taper..that is only way I could get off this drug..and I did the same thing..I shared with my Doc..made myself accountable to him and my therapist..we lowered the dose so that each time i got refill it was 1/2 of what it had been..that was every month..started with 120/month - down to 80 next month.  40, next time..etc..  it was uncomfortable in every way..mentally, physically, etc. but not near as much as a CT would have been..
I would be dishonest if I didnt tell you that I occasionally desire a Tram..just to give me energy..my energy is really slow coming back..and i do suffer a bit from depression..but Im on an AD..occasionally i get the fog brain..very annoying..but not anything like it was at the beginning..
LBTram - how are you doing????    Please let us know...We are here for you...
I miss this site so much when i travel..i usually am so busy and not able to come out.. very grateful for my sobriety today..from Trams and alcohol..  
Thank you all from my heart for being here and posting...as I said previously..my continued recovery depends on the sharing you all do..so today my friends...please take heart...it will get better and you CAN  reclaim your lives..your emotions..your relationships...your piece of mind...truly you can. Just keep coming out here and talk to us..and it does not matter if you've had a slip...we say.,..this is no shame, no guilt, no judgement zone..all those things can keep us using and back into secrecy.
So much love, hugs, and wishes for courage and strength to you all
Pat
  

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by Onedaynow, Aug 02, 2010
((((Pat))))), so glad to see you back. Yes, very quiet around here and I can only hope things are well. It sounds like you had a good trip. I understand the reaction to seeing the tram bottle. I have found a couple of pills here and there from my stashing days and have had a very hard time getting rid of them. Spooky. The last few days my energy has been down and boy does the Tram call to me at times like this. It is like I forget the pain I went through; and that is one pain I never want to forget. I definitely come back here when I feel that Tram pull, that quiet voice that says "just take one, it will not hurt" or the temptation to find out if I am capable of taking just one every once in a while. Now, intellectually, I know the answers to these questions but emotionally I don't think I believe them. So going back, reading posts, even my own posts, when the pain was present, really helps to remind me not to make a huge mistake...

It is so strange the stages we go through. How different acute withdrawal is emotionally from post withdrawal. I also wonder if there ever comes a time when the idea of taking a pill does not even enter my mind. Perhaps when new coping skills are fully implemented?? Time will tell I suppose.

To all of you, wherever you are in this process, I hope this day finds you in peace!

Diane

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 02, 2010
Gnight dear ones...we are here and we love you...
The Porch light is still on...
Blessings.
Pat

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by giannasmomma, Aug 03, 2010
Just checking in. Today is day 28 tram free for me.  I am still struggling a bit sleeping.  It’s really strange, I slept better the first week off of tram than I am now. I still have the restless legs, but not half as bad as it was a week ago. They finally settle down around midnight and I can sleep – which is better than not settling at all.

I am back at the gym, so I hope that helps too.  Just taking it day by day right now.

Tiffany


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by LivingnPresent, Aug 03, 2010
((((Tiffany)))) Congratulations on 28 days!!!!  I am sure that the exercise will help a lot...thanks for  checking in my dear...stay strong...you are doing awesome....
love & hugs.
Pat

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 03, 2010
Ok..so maybe im talking to myself ..but that is ok..glad i still have a place to post...and talk about what is going on..
tired, depressed, lonely...no energy...bit spacey brain..but im not using or drinking.. grateful...
Hope everyone is doing good...or better...it's a process,  to be sure..
Blessings.
Pat

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by Onedaynow, Aug 03, 2010
Nope, not talking to yourself!

Pat it is definitely a process; I felt very low energy yesterday and like I would take anything to have that energy back. Today is much better. Always helps me to have this journal and read and read and read. I think you are doing GREAT!!!!

Tiffany congratulations to you. It took my about a month to start sleeping again and once I did; I never slept better. Although I do remember on those long sleepless nights thinking I had done permanent sleeping damage and a good nights sleep was forever gone. It will come back, hang in there. I also think the exercise is really helpful, even when it is really hard to do. It seems to get easier and easier with some back sliding from time to time (my yesterday).

I think even as postings slow, this journal is such a tool and resource. And Pat, like you said, even if we are only journaling our own thoughts for ourselves. Although, you never know whose eyes will make it here and what help it may bring to someone else.

Hugs to all!
Diane

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by Chloe2010, Aug 03, 2010
Pat, Diane, everyone else,

Must introduce myself as yet another "fan" of yours. Amazing people you all are, just amazing. I want to tell my story and will,,,, once my energy allows me too. Typing hurts right now and my vision is blurry from a lack of sleep (withdrawals, big time). My fingers are sweating for goodness sakes as I'm typing (night and day sweats). I am extremely empty and exhausted, like someone squeezed my mind, body and spirit like a lemon. Just "wring, wring, twist." Through you all, I know this will get better. I work, have children and just pray that I can keep putting one foot in front of the other and make sure my world, one that balances precariously as it is, doesn't all tumble down to the point of irrepair.

SO, THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH. I wouldn't be on day 7 now if it weren't for you guys, especially Diane and Pat but so many others it is difficult to describe. You are all my inspiration and the reason I could go one more minute, one more hour, and one more day. Truly.

Will post soon, the bigger story behind all I've been through this past week and before as trying to get off these horrible pills.

Chloe

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by Onedaynow, Aug 03, 2010
Chloe,

So glad to help; it is definitely the "pay it forward" thing as I feel my life was saved here. Day 7 is great; the worst is mostly over so congratulations to you and I look forward to hearing your story.

Diane

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 03, 2010
Chloe...dear one..you've just made my day and confirmed to me how important it is to keep on showing up out here.. thank you for your kind words..but please please give yourself credit for being at day 7 is NO SMALL ACCOMPLISHMENT!!  You obviously are one strong woman...thank you for coming out to share your experience...and know..that we are here for you.whenever you are ready to "post the bigger story"...
much love, hugs and lots of positive thoughts for strength to continue down this treacherous road called recovery
Love,

Pat

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by booba77, Aug 04, 2010
Chloe~Day 7 is huge!!!!  You should be so proud of your accomplishment.  We are proud of you. ((((PAT)))) I missed you.  I am still here lurking.  My daughter has been sick so I havent been posting much.  How is everyone?  I am so proud of you Pat for resisting the tram while on your business trip.  My mom has some in her drawer but there is no way I am going through this all over again.  I feel just exactly the way you ladies do~lacking the energy, depressed, and a bit of brain fog.  Will we ever be 100%? That is what I want to know.  When does the PAWS end?  I am so ready for more energy.  I am taking vitamins and B12, no time for exercise as a full time working mom with a long commute.  I am much better though.  Chloe~ you will sleep again, and better than before.  The sweating will stop.  Day 9 is usually when the really bad withdrawals stopped for me.  I love you guys.  Keep fighting.  Chins up!!!!

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by Petermac, Aug 04, 2010
    Well,here it is day 5, I finally got some decent sleep last night,
Probably close to 5 hours, more than I got the entire 4 days previously. I regret not keeping a in-depth, blow by blow account of the battle I've fought since taking my last tram Friday night.
    I will say it was the toughest thing I've ever done, hands down.
I also know I will always have to be on guard against this Demon drug that took over my life 4 years ago, I will not lie, at first I felt I had found the perfect pill, take two and I could feel better than I had ever remembered feeling. I had energy, I became sociable, work was a breeze, I didn't need to eat, my depression was completely gone, and when I laid down at the end of these glorious early days I slept better than I had in a looooooong time!
What was not to love?
   Fast forward 4 years: I now am taking between 6 to 10 pills a day, not to feel good, but to not feel so bad. Tramadol ruled my life now. I needed a dose every 3 hours to maintain. I always had my iPod and watch with me so I could keep track of when I could take my next dose. (it was medicine to me now, medicine I HAD to have)
  I felt trapped and saw no way out! I wanted so bad to be free from this tramadol train I was on but was powerless to stop or even cut back. Between legit scripts and Internet purchases I never ran out, believe me, not running out of tram became job 1. But the thought of N.C. Changing them to a scheduled drug that would prevent me from being able to order them was always in my mind.
   I just hoped to be able to keep getting them until I turned 55, then maybe I could retire and be able to quit them. So glad I took advantage of this 9 day vacation to bite the bullet. I took a trip this vacation, I took a trip to my inner Hell where I've done hand to hand combat with a Demon that calls itself Tramadol, and I've won! (even though there will always be skirmishes, the big battle is over!
   THANK YOU GOD! I know you were beside me during this.      
 


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by evanrude, Aug 04, 2010
hi all,

i successfully--and this may sound counter-intuitive--tapered and stopped a 3.5 year tramadol dependency last february by using "real" opiates, prescribed for the sciatica for which i was originally rx'd tramadol.

somehow, i don't know, but i've always been able to take a month--or two months--of daily vicoprofen, vicodin, norco, etc., and stop "cold-turkey," without the slightest of side-effects.  and i do realize that these are synthetic opiates, too.  but they're not as novel, perhaps, as tramadol.

anyway, the whole thing was followed by a crushing family event that i am still enduring, so...  i basically didn't care about my health or anything much, and actually ordered more tramadol, thinking that at least i'd be able to sleep better.  i suppose it had been about four months without, which seems like a lifetime, and i didn't crave them--not physically, anyway.  i just figured i had nothing to lose anymore.  when i resumed the pills, it was very different.  i expected increased effects, and i experienced them, but only the bad ones:  extreme urinary retention to the point where i'd have to sit down (i'm male) and wait for up to ten minutes to pee at all; significant constipation, requiring daily laxatives, and, of course, the stomach upset/lethargy/ennui when i'd go too long without.  

i suppose i am writing this to warn others--it's NOT worth it.  even in a situation where you feel nothing matters anymore (and that is always debatable/temporary), they, at least for me, gave me none of the good and all of the bad upon resuming.  they didn't even effect the analgesia for which i was partly resuming them for sciatica.  if this isn't a total indictment as the uselessness and dangers of this evil drug, i don't know what.  

so now i am on, i suppose, day three? of total abstention.  i'd been absentmindedly tapering for weeks, thinking that if i pretended it was no big deal, it wouldn't be.  and to a certain degree, it has worked.  that is, i have not had the zaps or extreme lethargy i had when i'd try to stop or missed doses during my 3.5 years.  but i find myself writing this, also, for comfort, because i know that the acedia, indifference, and sighing indolence i feel now--and can't seem to beat--is part of giving this crap up again.  

happily, i had b12 sublingual drops, and all the other remedies i ended up not needing when i tapered i february.  on that note, i am NOT recommending usage of vicoden/norco/etc. as a sort of "methadone" for coming off of tramadol.  as i wrote, that almost sounds ludicrous.  but it did work for me--very well.  indeed, i stopped 3.5 years of ~10 tram/day, sometimes more when pain was bad, cold-turkey, and the 7.5mg hydrocodone norco/vicoprofen tabs seemed to completely replace or block or otherwise remedy any tram withdrawal that was going on--to the point where i didn't have any noticable withdrawal symptoms.  then, as i wrote, when i stopped the vico/norco rx'd by my ortho surg. i, as usual, had *no* withdrawal from those drugs.  

i am still facing a seemingly intractable and very sad family issue--but i'm not ever going to turn to tramadol for help again.  it just is not worth it.  for the record, i am not of the opinion that all recreational or "self medicating" drug use is wrong or bad.  i place self medicating in quotes because that term implies that non-physicians are too stupid to possibly know what might make them feel better--and how to handle such a regimen without harming one's self--and that just isn't true for some people.  especially for  us "lay-pharmacologists" :)  

will close for now.  thanks to everyone who posts there experiences here; it is such a comfort and refuge for all going through the phenomenon of tramdol dependency, which doesn't usually doesn't seem "serious" enough for most others to...take seriously--but is, for the dependent, a special hell.

e



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by LivingnPresent, Aug 05, 2010
Petermac...Wow...amazing post...amazing...how incredible that you dedicated this vacation time for a journey to hell...speaks to your resolve to finally be free of this crap..to your strength..i know that we dont feel strong when we look back and see how we've been a slave to this drug..but im convinced that the strength it takes to get off the tram train is more powerful than anything i've ever experienced in my life..So congratulations to you my friend...Hang in there..im sure you are aware of all the aids suggested out here to help get you thru this??   Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing...sending over hugs and thoughts for continued strength & courage.

Evan...I've seen you out here before?  You articulate so welll this journey...and thank you from my heart for coming out here to share...I relate to your story...i also had big, sad family issue when kept me on the trams...until they just stopped working..period...and like peter said..i just kept taking them not to feel good but to NOT feel bad.. honest to God..the pain, courage, strength, mental, physical, emotional fortitude it takes to start "thinking" about getting off...let alone actually doing it..is mind boggling..  as you say  "special hell"..  I feel such a connection to you and the others out here .....and yes..it helps more than I can say to know that I am not alone. Thank you for your post..sending you virtual hug and positive thoughts dear one..keep on..tomorrow will be 100 days for me..and im experiencing ...still..some residual withdrawal..odd chemical smell that comes up from time to time..and lack of energy..but I am SO much better today ..because I dont have to count pills..and depend on them to get me thru the day..so grateful...
So much love and gratitude for you Peter and Evan...and all my friends out here...
Pat



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by booba77, Aug 05, 2010
100 days tomorrow?  That is awesome Pat.  I am so proud of you.

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by james22778, Aug 05, 2010
hey their hope everyone has a great evening i am about 65 days free now and feel so so much better and thank you all very much for your help

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 06, 2010
(((Booba)))) Thanks dear one...
James..Congratulations!!!  that is so awesome..You are just plugging right along!!!!  keep it up..
So I saw a psychiatrist yesterday for med management..first time ever..interesting experience. i wanted advice on antidressants..since my doc (one who put me on tram to begin with) did not know what to recommend. He was a no BS kind of guy..who's now got me on a taper for xanax..which i've been using to help sleep..only 1-2 a day..put me on Remeron..said it should help with depression, sleep and anxiety. but, i've  "heard" that most common side effect is weight gain..that makes me incredibly anxious as this is issue for me to begin with. but i am willing to give it a go ..if i can get help with the depression and help getting off xanax..then a few pounds may be worth it. when i told him i was 100 days out from tram and 42 days out from no booze..he told my i was gutsy!!  i took as an offhanded compliment..i guess it does take some guts & fight to get off the tram..especially the tram.. I also need to realize that not everyone responds to the "by the book" anticipated  side effects that could happen with drugs..praying tht i may be one of the exceptions with Remeron.
think i'll act as if i already am exceptional.  dr. also told me tht even tho the tramadol has left my body..my brain chemistry takes a while to get back to some kind of normalcy..in particular when im also in recovery mode from alcohol...so i dont feel so bad about the stuff im experiencing this far out.
big trip next week..almost 2 weeks on the road ... could use a lot of prayer and positive thought..as my body is in a bit of chaos right now with the adding/withdrawing of meds..
Thanks Warriors..hope you are all doing well on your journey..I will try to check in while Im traveling...
Love n hugs.
Pat


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by iamanumber, Aug 06, 2010
I am still coming off tramadol after nearly 5 years..yes 5 years..its been just over a month since i started my descent..im down to using simple easy to acess over the counter meds to help with withdrawl..i wake with a cracker headache EVERY morning..i get the neon sign zaps every time i move or even if i just turn my head.I alleviate these symptoms by using an over the counter pain med, a combination of paracetamol and codiene.it works for me.makes life workable at this juncture. doing this has saved my *** financially, mentally and physically..drink lots of water.


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by iamanumber, Aug 06, 2010


I took a peek through a pipe to bypass the peripheral, was curious to recal an altered state, altered via
the act act of abstinance..although i always noticed the actual physical sun in any zone i visited.
i decided i was missing and the shackles where rusting,
leaviing sores on my legs, rubbing them i looked through my dusty
tool kit..hmm.
..im no stranger to self abuse so i engaged my anger aimed at stolen self reliance and dusted off my artillary ..my arsenal is far from average.
..lets say im well educated, well read and experienced.
..I like a challenge, i see the whingers sobbing wailing how will i survive..how will you survive i ponder??? any way you can and the rest is irrelevant..get on with it..thats survival.
the head jumps the mind jolts **** bring it on 10.000volts.when your bigger then the doctors pen, the world outside loses once again.

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 06, 2010
Good God...that's quite a piece of writing   "iam"... yes you do appear to be well educated, well read and experienced..
love   "10,000 volts when your bigger than the doctors pen, the world outside loses once again"    Yikes!!    ok..is this a song already written or is this you...sorry had to ask. (forgive my ignorance if it is obvious)  andi dont know where you live..but where i live..you cannot buy any combination of anything with codeine over the counter...
thanks for the share..and one month is big
Pat



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by LeaAnn807, Aug 06, 2010
Hi guys!  Just wanted to pop in and cheer you all on in your fight!  I am 153 days clean from tramadol today, and I feel great!  I do not crave them anymore......well, occasionally, but not in a long time!!! : )

I have been very busy with a sick child, but I want you all to know that you are in my prayers, and I'm sending you positive thoughts!!!

Hugs!!!

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by iamanumber, Aug 06, 2010
@ livingnPresent no i wrote that this morning, ill post it again ive added since.cheers.


I took a peek through a pipe to bypass the peripheral, was curious to recal an altered state, altered via
the act act of abstinance..although i always noticed the actual physical sun in any zone i explored.

But i decided i was missing in action.. and the shackles where rusting,
leaving sores on my legs, rubbing them i looked through my dusty
tool kit..hmm.
..im no stranger to self abuse so i engaged my anger.. aimed at stolen self reliance and dusted off my artillary ..my arsenal is far from average.
..lets say im well educated, well read and experienced.
..I like a challenge, so i see the whingers sobbing, wailing amongst the misdirected blame asking how will i survive..how will you survive i ponder??? ..any way you can and the rest is irrelevant..get on with it..thats survival.

From my god i summon my general, I stood up tall in the mirror, the bugle playing.. the cavalry's arrived, i shine my badges, pin on my purple heart and medals gained of different types, on the shoulder of my uniform i realise.. my stars and stripes.
The head jumps the mind jolts HAHAH **** bring it on 10.000volts.when your bigger then the doctors pen, the world outside loses ..once again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE1huPYerp0&feature=relatedsent, no i wrote that this morning. here is the ammended version i added another little portrait to the idea.

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by iamanumber, Aug 06, 2010
and yer i live in Australia, here we can easily buy codeine/paracetamol tabs over the counter, now days one must simply give a name to print on the box sticker..anyones name is good enough..its stupid but thats another story, the ones i been using are a combination of 500mg of paracetamol+10mg of codeine..i been using 10 daily, the paracetamol is toxic in large doses, this is a government hairbrain scheme to apparently stop abuse of the codeine content..but all they are seeing is pple in hospital with liver complaints..you can cold filter the codeine out if you are not a moron..but then abuse is likely when one has an endless supply to filter and consume..but for me..just a few tabs are alleviating my withdrawl from tramadol which is great.

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by iamanumber, Aug 07, 2010
ok dont get me wrong im not implicating any of the people on this site who are airing thier frustration with tramadol and its withdrawl nor in a sinister manner dubbing anyone a whinger..its a tough road and it is hard as all ****..alls im saying or wanting to achieve with the above passage of words is hopefully an injection of power, empowerment of youself, recalling your strength..find it..use it..get on with it..good luck and see you at finish line.

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 07, 2010
Thanks "iam"...frankly i was annoyed at the ..shall we say..tad bit of sensitivity in that statement..hoping that others would not take it the wrong way...from my viewpoint..the tramadol can leave us robbed dry..completely empty..ravaged..without hope..without strength..so ..yes, we do need to summon back the strength, anger, courage..whatever it takes to get on with this battle or race, if you will.  but this is tough  enough without having to label ourselves in any manner..whingers, failures or whatever word you want to assign....
having said that though..your portrayal of the battle in your writing above..is stunning..
thanks again for sharing..keep posting...
i am claiming a victory today.i've passed the 100 day mark ...and feeling ...just for today...that im bigger than the enemy..
Gratefully.
Pat


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by james22778, Aug 07, 2010
hey their congrads on the 100 day mark i so hope i can make it their myself but congrads to you keep it up

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by iamanumber, Aug 07, 2010
well i wasnt actually thinking too much about the idea of whinging here on this website, I am part of this tramadol merry-go-round and im complaining ..its hard..in fact my mention of whinging really regards another situation here close to home i was thinking of the time of writing yesterday...but having said that there is a lot of blame swapping in the world..
i cant blame anyone any doctor for my past habit.I was the one swallowing tramadol on a daily basis..it was me..no-one forced me..the world hinges on supply and demand whatever the product..i know this and thats life..buyer beware, its always been.i chose to get me some painkillers..sure i was offerred..but I accepted..and continued accepting.
so i was in a bad time of life, recently divorced bla bla, sure..my ex was making my life hard and hell..but still she was not putting pills in my mouth ..i was..i am bigger then her ****...so i failed at that time.
i started to enjoy them after i was introduced..i knew it..i kept getting more..and lets face it..its not hard to pull the wool over a doctors eyes to get what you want.The doctors are just people..hell i had a few in my travels that where certainly not the sharpest tools in the shed, and/or just didnt care, they where just living out thier life dreamily writing scripts thinking of the family farm, red wine and the weekend..I guess a few pple will jump on me now in some way to justyfy that tramadol was not thier fault in any way, some will reject any responsibility in any way and to this i say, i dont know your situaion and i wont nor am interested in commenting, im simply being honest to everyone here about my personal battle and my role in it..its therapeutic for me to clean out the closet and hold old junky things up to the mirror to look at them in the ligh..t and decide its rubbish ive been hording in the closet and i dont need it...it gets a shake and into the bin across the room..for ME this is the case.please dont be offended by my openness.

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 07, 2010
no offense taken iam..at least by me anyways...i get the blame game...i do...it's easy to point the finger at someone else and relieve myself of any responsibility..but fact is..i am responsible..buyer beware?  hard for me to do when i was in such incredible pain..i rejected the oxycodone, oxycotin, and hydrocodone..i didnt want the heavy duty opiates..they made me feel stupid..i hated that.   enter tramadol..and i was hooked from  day one..took away the pain (physically, emotionally, psychically, etc) , took away the blues,  and gave me a shitpile of energy, and my brain worked pretty damn good. ...what's not to love? so this buyer did not take time to research the tramadol.. yes, my responsibilty...do i wish the doc had cut me off a few years sooner? hell yes I do..but it is what it is...we both share the responsiblity for my continued drug use...bottom line because had he stopped the gravy train..i dont think im clever enough to have found the drugs elsewhere (internet) .so i would have been forced to stop.  on the other hand..i knew i was addicted and i chose to stay addicted..until i got sick & tired of being sick and tired...(when the tram lost it's magic).. so im pretty clear about my part in all this.
I still think it takes a boat load of strength ..courage, resolve..to face this and if i want to have some bitterness toward my doc.then so be it...anger is good...and needed to climb out of this.
thanks again for sharing.. please continue..sounds to me like you are well on your way to claiming a victory over tramacrap.

Pat




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by iamanumber, Aug 07, 2010
yer spot on pat i agree, and yes tramadol was marketed on false claims..buyer beware for me means this..yes they say this and that.. yes they claim this and the other BUT..do i believe all im told? is it my experience that the world is just and fair and honest and or even knowledgeable enough to claim such outlandish claims, particularly when it come to well..money, shareholders and drugs the pharmacutical industry in particular are renoun and unscrupulous aside from all thier bullshyte red tape and legalities..but for me, i knew they where addictive as all hell within a few weeks.and like you said..i also kept coming back for more..it is a common story, i think the tramadol does lose its magic, the hookline for tramadol is that it does alleviate depression..id assume a lot of us took it for this purpose mainly..but as you say originally supplied for legitimate pain purpose.I have the same story..same thing again for me..the energy was amazing..problems shrank and the motivation tramadol gave me was fabulous..but like most things it fades..and for me turned into large unmanageable doses that dont not much else but staved off withdrawl.

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by iamanumber, Aug 07, 2010
Interesting thing i noticed a few years back regarding tramadol pat, i had scored a box somewhere i cant recall, but it was a brand i didnt see often, im not sure if it was a fly by nighter company who bought the rights temporarily or whatever, but this box of tramadol had a little logo on the box, the logo was a little person with thier arms up, like on a roller coaster if you can imagine.. the logo was half black half white with a lighning bolt through it..is hard to explain it in detail as im working off old memory but i clearly recall staring at the art logo and im almost certain it was referring to what we speak of..i couldnt for the life of me find an interpretation regarding medical or pain relief conontations..the energy and black and white is subjective but surely represents something about change in the status quo of a person..its subjective but i would think most would come to a translation in the same area, when i came to this conclusion it was like i was once again avoiding the obvious..the marketplace is always going to be the same..where money is concerned.

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by EmilyPost, Aug 07, 2010
*blink*

*stare*

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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by madtram, Aug 07, 2010
Buyer beware is all very well but we all live in countries which purport to have strong regulatory regimes to protect us from the flat out lies of pharmaceutical companies.  The nanny state in Australia doesn't even give us the freedom of choice to take substances that have years of science establishing them to be harmless, such as dhea & melatonin, yet tramadol is prescribed with gay abandon.

There is already mounting evidence of the liver damage caused by acetominophen/ paracetamol, yet this is freely available in supermarkets.

When Emily & I came off tramadol, the only info available from googling was how to buy more of the cr*p from internet pharmacies.   If not for Em's diligent research, I would not have appreciated what I was dealing with & I have a biochemistry degree.

It's true that we are the ones stuck with the consequences & being angry doesn't change that but by speaking out against tramadol, we can at least given other potential victims fair warning.

To all tramadol troopers & those who have taking on the coaching of newbies, here's to continuing to fight the good fight.  I have had a series of personal challenges this year, (husband had a stroke, then my alcoholic sister was in a coma for weeks), but nothing compares with tramadol's random infliction of tortures.

Every day you are closer to your body & mind being of one purpose & eating right & exercising will start to pay off again instead of feeling like an exercise in futility.  Yes it does take time, (possibly longer for those of us 50+), but at 2 years out, I am still seeing improvement, so look what you have to look forward to.

Best to all,
M

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by iamanumber, Aug 08, 2010
Hi M,
        So can i ask, you are two years off tramadol? and still not 100%? if this is the case what are the lingering symptoms and can you recall which syptoms where the first to go?

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by madtram, Aug 08, 2010
I am pretty much free & clear of tramadol related symptoms, except for periodic insomnia which I had never had before I was prescribed tramadol, (bearing in mind, I was on tram for 5 years).   I also complicated things by treating the insomnia with the prescription sleeping med Lunesta, (eszopiclone), not appreciating that it was a benzo which needed to be tapered off in the same way as valium etc.

I took Lunesta for too long & when my script ran out stopped cold turkey only to find myself in full blown benzo withdrawal.  These symptoms took many more months to abate & I still have the occasional bad night but these are definitely decreasing.   There are of course many people who have never taken tramadol or benzos who suffer from occasional sleeplessness but I had never been one of them so I still don't cope well with it.

In early withdrawal, I had trouble getting out of bed & an irrational fear of answering the phone & door or opening my mail but the insomnia was the thing that took me prisoner.  I can't tell you how long before it passed naturally because I just couldn't stay the distance.  I am full of admiration for those who do tough it out because adding sleep meds just further confuses the heck out of already scrambled neuroreceptors.  (I did try every known alternative remedy including valerian; chinese herbs; 5htp; antihistamines; meditation; deep breathing & cbt, before resorting to the meds).

Anyone with a clean withdrawal from tramadol, could expect to be well clear of any lingering symptoms by now, with the possible exception of rebound depression which the tramadol use was masking.

I have never been philosophically opposed to better living via pharmacology but now believe that we still just don't enough to significantly mess with brain chemistry without creating undesirable side effects which just create the need for more drugs.


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by MyFreedom, Aug 08, 2010
Wow.... 2 years off tramadol?! I cannot wait to accomplish that. Kudos to you. I'm a mere 4 and a half months out...and I so long to be "normal" again. Because of my long, slow taper I managed to avoid most all of the acute w/d symptoms that I had when I tried to quit cold turkey years ago. But because I was on them so long (7+ years, I do believe) I certainly do have the long term stuff....mostly in clusters really. Like, this past week I've have had a terrible time sleeping...which I thought had already passed. I have never lost the urge to constantly stretch (particularly my mid-lower back)...albeit nothing like the cold turkey experience, but still a nuisance. I still have bouts of diarrhea...again, nothing like I had during the end of my taper and first few weeks off the tramadol. Most frustrating for me is having zero energy. I do feel like the real me is trying to return, but it's a painfully slow process that just can't get here soon enough. Then there's always the random headache or other kinds of aches that just show up out of no where, but those are tolerable.

I have always had trouble falling asleep, even well before I ever met my first tramadol. Most of my family members do as well. They all seem to take ambien. I was offered it by my doc and refused when I was told it was habit forming (totally glad I refused it now). So, instead of an Rx, I've always used melatonin to help me get to sleep. I don't know what I would do without it...however, when my w/d sleeplessness starts up occasionally the melatonin doesn't help that much and I will resort to a 1/2 of a flexeril (a mild muscle relaxer)....but ONLY as a last resort. My doc gave me 15 tabs last November and I'm still working on those!!

I struggle a bit with depression...only mildly in my opinion....so I will avoid trying any anti depressants. I don't wanna go down that road unless it's a last resort. I agree with you, madtram, that our poor brains are confused enough as it is! So, now the only things I take are melatonin for sleep (again, I have taken it long before I ever took any tramadol), multivitamin, vitamin D & calcium supplement (doc says my vit D is low) and omega 3 fish oil capsules. The only Rx I take now is for high blood pressure. Doc put me on it about 8 months before I was completely off tramadol. I do wonder if the tramadol was causing the HBP....She says it wouldn't, but I'm not so sure. I also wonder if it (the possibly un-needed HBP med) is contributing to my lack of energy?? Anyone with any experience in this area??

Well....I feel like I may be rambling a bit. Just wanted to check in. I hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there!!

:)

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by iamanumber, Aug 08, 2010
i would agree M, natural polypeptides/endorphins beat polypharmacy hands down any day of the week..i think one staple we tend to sideline is that the addition of ANY exogenous substance will create a natural deficiency and further massacre the natural axis already in strife & its fairly safe to say that at this stage of the game we dont often know what deficiencies we are causing as in indirect modes of action and the domino effect.its very hit&miss patch and tear.

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 08, 2010
My Freedom..thanks for your post...I am out 102 days today..so it looks like i can expect to be having the withdrawal stuff pop up for a while yet... I also have major problems sleeping even before Tram (5 year use)...What is really strange to me..is that before I started using Tram..I was not using any drugs...even anti-depressants at that time (though I've used in past).. it seems that the Tram started me down a road where I started using the xanax to help bring me down from my Tram high..so I could sleep..then my drinking increased  - I had never has any issues with drinking or xanax use  prior to Tramadol..I think when the drug stopped  working for me..i was reaching out for ways to deal with stuff.. So honestly.I blame the Tramadol for catapulting me into every day xanax and drinking...and the hard real fact is  ..that I am an addict...period!  The Tramadol really gave me opportunity to acknowledge this fact (though using the words Tramadol & opportunity  in same breath is kind of like an oxymoron).  So now Im on taper plan to get off the xanax..drinking gone for 43 days now. after the xanax withdrawal, i'll stop the antidepresant...I will say this..my blood pressure was on high side when I was on the Tramadol...so much so that Dr. gave me Hydrochlorothiazide..water pill basically.  This last time i checked in..my BP was normal..so I can leave that pill behind..which leaves me with just my thyroid medication. I dont know if your BP med contributes to lack of energy...but I can tell you that the depression and lack of energy are my biggest issues right now. I am grateful that brain function appears to be coming back...though I do have my days.  The psychiatrist I just saw told me that brain chemisty can be out of whack for some time after the drugs (& alcohol in my case) leave your body. I wonder if the brain..in its attempts to return to normalcy ..can impact our energy level?  I can't help but think that it can/does.
(((MADTRAM))) ..  i remember reading your posts in my early stages...thank you for coming out and for your words..I am so sorry about your personal circumstances.. & going thru all this without the benefit of a drug.. Thanks for giving me some hope that 2 years out will be better - I understand that occasional, residual crap may happen.. and I am over 50..so i suspect it may happen more often. But it is so good to see you out here... and you are right.  I've said this many times..I will say it again.  This forum is the reason I  was able to get off the Tramadol..i started here.  I did not start with my Dr or my therapist ..NO ONE  knew about my Tram addiction. (my daughters told mewhen they found out that they had no idea)  it was only til i was able to come here and not feel shame and self loathing that I was able to start the process.  So for our Emily...who did all the groundwork..I am so so grateful.
I do have langer toward the relationship between doctors and drug companies..my daughter was a pharmaceutical rep and she saw a lot...  this is not to say that all docs and all drug companies are out only for themselves...I realize there are good drugs out there saving peoples lives..but I think you all know what I am talking about.  Pharmaceuticals..big big business in this country today. and big at the expense often of  individuals who's drs freely write scripts rather than doing some research to find a better solution - and pharm companies kicking back all kinds of things to the docs to get them to continue to write the scripts..
okay..i've said enough..sorry ..i do go on..
I just want to thank you MadTram and My Freedom and Iam  for contributing to this discussion..
I am hopeful..and I need that hope...and the information and encouragement I get here..gives me just that!!
So much love and gratitude.
Pat
p.s. omission above with fact that psyche started me on Remeron to help the withdrawal from the benzo.. it is not addictive (or is it?) once that is gone..i will have to deal with sleeping on my own.


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by laneybc, Aug 08, 2010
I was prescribed Ralivia which I believe is the name brand here for tramadol. After reading everything here i am terrified. I was on morphine and wanted to get off it because I felt it was zoning me out. I was taking it only as prescribed and was told I would not get hooked on it. When I quit taking it I had withdrawal symptoms but no craving. I thought that this tramadol was supposed to be better but now I really am not sure. I am taking it as prescribed for moderate to severe pain. I really am concerned that I have gone from the frying pan to the fire. I so need to get my energy and drive and will to live back. If I am taking it as prescribed am I going to go through withdrawal if i quit? WHEN I quit!
Any thoughts would be appreciated?
Elaine

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by EmilyPost, Aug 08, 2010
Hi Elaine,

Aw, no need to be terrified.

Yep. Ralivaia (canada?) is Tramadol which is ultram ... How long have you taken it and ... what kind of condition are you taking it for? How long have you taken it? How much?

And yes, anyone who has to go off tramadol will get some withdrawal.  Becoming more comfortable  ... it depends so much on chemistry and what method you use. Have you gotten thru your condition and want to quit?

Em



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by bigbrotherfan, Aug 08, 2010
Hey everyone.  I am a newbie here.  It has been educational and relieving to read through everyone's posts. I was taking about 300mg a day for 2 months without a prescription.  I am very ashamed for my actions, but I know now that I have no desire to be on this drug any longer.  I have been taking 50mg/day for the past 4 days and the only withdrawal symptoms I have had so far is anxiety and lack of sleep.  Both have lessened over the past couple of days.  Last night I slept for about 3 hours in 3 one hour increments.  Other than that, I feel better than I have felt in a long time.  How long should I expect this sleep pattern to continue, and will it get extremely worse after I take my last 50 mg tomorrow?  Keep in mind that I have been down to taking 50 mg for 5 days at that point.

I have tried taking hot showers right before bed, exercising for about 30 minutes during the day, and removing caffeine from my diet.  What else do you recommend to help me get better sleep until I beat this?  I started on multi-vitamins today.  I also purchased melatonin to try.  

I could really use as much support and advice as possible.  I do not want to go to the dr since I went behind their back to start using the drug.  I am also too ashamed to mention anything to my family and friends about it.  Thanks in advance!

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by madtram, Aug 08, 2010
BBF, you are doing all the right things, the best one being your decision to quit after only 2 months which means your rough ride should be over fairly quickly.

Melatonin works well for some people, other things to try for sleep are valerian root, (try for a higher quality supplement, apparently Gaia gel caps are good); 5htp or l-tryptophan; kava, none of which usually cause too much of a hangover.  Antihistamines, (phenergan; nyquil, restavit) can be effective but often do take a while to wear off in the morning as they have longish half lives.

Pat, thanks so much for your kind word & big kudos to you too for your ongoing presence & coaching of others.  Thank heavens for tramadol, the key to compulsory self development.

Elaine, the tolerance effect of tramadol is different to the addictive effects.  I never craved tramadol, never increased my dose much but still had significant withdrawals as it is generally not a good drug for long term pain maintenance.  For many of us staying on a steady dose over more than a few months meant that we were in constant withdrawal as we developed tolerance to the opioid component of the drug.

Once these side effects kick in, there is a tendency to reach for other drugs, (anti-anxiety meds; sleeping pills etc) to counteract the negatives caused by the tramadol.  If you find this becomes true for you, I would discuss other alternatives with your doctor.  Tapering off a milder pure opiate may be a cleaner way to go.

Best to all,
M

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by tdpill, Aug 09, 2010
Hi All,

This has been great reading through everyone's posts.  In a nutshell, I have been taking tramadol for a little over 7 years.  I had gone to a back specialist and was diagnosed with degenerative disk disease and a bulging disk.  As with everyone else - I immediately fell in love with the drug.  My back felt good, I became more sociable, had energy, etc.  I kept things in check the first few years but then I found the internet and realized I didn't have to wait for my doc to write out a script anymore. : )

In a nutshell - I went from about 9 50/mg a day up to 20-30 + as late as even last month.  There have been times when I finished a 90 tab bottle in 2 days!  Somehow I managed to get married during this time, and actually hid it from my wife for over 2 years.  I had tried a few times over the years to quit, but it just became this up and down game.  I was convinced when the time was right I'd just stop.  I would go from 30/day to about 10-15 day, then back up, then repeat cycle.  During my worst times I would take up to 7-8 in the morning, and continue with blocks of 4-5 tabs throughout the day "as needed".  And boy did they seem "needed"! I didn't even know what I was taking them for after a while.  I absolutely loved gobbling a few before reading, surfing the net, talking on the phone, etc.

Luckily - I never had a seizure ( I even took these high doses along with Wellbutrin for a time..)  During these times of high doses I had little interest in ANYTHING.  No emotions, interest, sex drive, etc.  I was afraid to stop because I actually felt the withdrawals mildly after forgetting to take them when I went on a 4 day trip very early in my usage.  That feeling never left, and I have been scared to stop ever since.

Well, a little over a week ago I had enough and confided in my wife and family.  I was tired of the games, waking up early to order on the internet before she woke up...trying to intercept the packages from Fed-Ex before they delivered...driving across town to pickup the packages when I needed to be somewhere else...hiding the multiple vials in our garage...and charging to two credit cards I had prior to us getting married.  I became good at excuses and justification.  

Well, this first week hasn't been easy.  My wife has been very supportive and we started on a taper beginning at 4 pills 3 times a day.  Today, 7 days later I am at 2 50mg, 3 X day.  My worst time of the day is the nighttime - I hate even getting so much as a twinge of that anxiety/restless legs/jumping out of skin feeling.  I have managed to do OK this week - actually been more social than I have been.  I just know that it gets harder from here.  I am doing a 10%/day taper and feel it may be a bit fast.  I feel like I've made a lot of progress from over 30/day 2 weeks ago to 6/ day today.  Today was tough and somehow by next week I am going to be down to 3/day.   We have confided in a doctor to monitor and make sure there are no complications.  I am no way taking the rest of this for granted and I dread the stop date.

Best of luck to you all -
SS



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by Tripper_, Aug 09, 2010
"To see the world in a grain of sand, and to see heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour".
I feel like it's been ages since the last time I posted anything here. An hour for me these days passes like a hundred years. Nothing new actually, the same old story, doctors prescribed this drug for me and after that all hell broke loose. So now I'm quitting tramadol cold turkey, God only knows how many times I did before. Nevermind succeeded or not at least I know or maybe I think I know how it feels like to cold turkey this evil drug.
After watching an adidas commercial, I saw Muhammad Ali saying that impossible is nothing! After thinking about that for a while I realised that it's very, very true. Then came to my mind a question that is impossible to answer -for me at least- what do I actually want out of this world?!
So my fellow Tramadol victims whether your doctor prescribed this THING to you, whether you are abusing it or misusing it or whatever you want to add, beware.
God I feel lost, I swear that I can't even remember if this is my 2nd or 3rd day since I took the decision to quit!
To my sisters and friends out there, I hope that you're all still strong and committed like I left you.
Tripper

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by booba77, Aug 09, 2010
Tripper~good to see you on here.  I relapsed...again, but only for 2 days.  I guess I longer for energy so badly and desperately needed something.   Have no real excuse.  Took 7 in 2 days.  Hope I don't have to go through horrible withdrawals again.  They actually made me feel sick, so needless to say I am starting over again.  I feel like a straight up loser.  I had been doing so we, I knew my mom had some, why did I take them?  They made me feel heady and nauseous, and now I am totally ashamed and mortified.  I was about 2 months T free too.  I am bound and determined not to ever relapse again.  They didnMt make me feel better or whole, and didnt really give me  energy.  I just feel numb and I hate it. I am so done with all of this.  I am my own biggest disappointment.  Lord I hope 2 days of 7 tram dont equal withdrawals for weeks, but they shouldnt right?  or maybe they should.  the hell I went through shouldnt have been enough for me to never relapse again.  Im sorry warriors.  I have let myself down, and I feel like I let you guys down too.  I am so sorry.  

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by bigbrotherfan, Aug 09, 2010
I am on day 1 of no tramadol.  I took 50mg a day for the past 5 days, and the last pill I took was 21 hours a go.  Prior to that I was taking 300mg a day for a couple of months.  I actually feel pretty good except for the lack of sleep over the past week.  I am getting 2 or 3 hours of broken sleep a night.  I am to anxious to sleep and not sleeping is making me anxious. How long should this keep up before I start getting a few hours of constant sleep?  I finally broke down and made an appointment with my doctor tomorrow afternoon.  I was hesitant because I was taking tramadol without a prescription, but  just want to get over this and move forward.  

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 09, 2010
Hi Everyone.. First person I want to address is  ((((Booba)))))  Honey you yourself have uttered these words:  This is a no shame, no guilt, no judgement zone...Remember this???   Don't dwell on your slip..focus on fact that you are back at it..and out here being honest with us and with yourself..that is HUGE!!!!   You know that this oftens goes.. 2 steps forward, one step back. It would be easy to just not admit that you've slipped and try to rectify on your own..but you need help and support..and honey...we are here for you in a big way!!!!   Listen..I was in a house last week that had a bottle of Trams sitting in a drawer..and it was more than tempting..but for the  grace of God..I did not do it..but my addict head already had me into that bottle.not only taking the trams but stealing from someone to do it!!!  So so easy on yourself..and honestly..i am out here about everyday..send me a msg or note..if you need some support or whatever...sending you lots of love and hugs.

Big welcome to Elaine, BBF & TDPill...welcome to all of you..many of us can relate to each of your stories.. so you've come to the right place.  This is not easy to be sure...but is it doable??  damn straight it is!!!  Others on this site have likened this experience to doing battle..getting angry enough at the Tramadol to take it on with a vengeance..  I also recommend..(just my opinion)  that if you can find someone in person to share with..a doctor, close friend, therapist, whatever...it truly helps...there is a saying in 12 steps..."we are as sick as our secrets".. in my experience this is true..when I was able to share my addiction...i became more accountable...and a bit of a weight was lifted...and some of the shame was removed.  sometimes the isolation, shame and self loathing keeps us from moving forward ..
You are all welcome out here...you are reaching out for help..that is so big..we are here for you..just keep posting and sharing with you are going thru..

Tripper??!!!  brother when are you coming back down to earth and join us???   we are missing you for that virtual cup of tea... love u and hope you are ok.

Sending heart wishes to all of you for the strength ..and courage and resolve ..that you need to get off probably the nastiest drug out there...(my opinion)...and believe me when I say..you will feel better...I drove down the road yesterday and just broke into tears about memories i was having..I did not cry when i was on Tramadol..this was so freeing!!

Pat


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by shelliAS, Aug 09, 2010
I am so glad I found you guys - Some people on the general addiction site suggested that I read Emily Post, and I was not sure what they were talking about!  I stumbled across this, not positive how I got here, but hope I can do it again.  I am on day 32 of stopping hydrocodone and tramadol CT.  The weakness and general fatigue are getting worse by the day (the other symptoms - RLS, rebound pain, etc. are not so bad; still have insomnia).  Is this normal after 32 days?  At first I thought all this was due to the hydro WD, but now I am starting to wonder if it has been the tramadol!  I am now experiencing, in addition to the debilitating fatigue, constipation, don't seem to urinate much, and I am gaining weight and my jeans won't fasten.  Is all of this normal?  It seems that Tramadol has destroyed so many lives, from reading these posts, I feel very discouraged.

Thanks to everyone for posting,
Shelli

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by MyFreedom, Aug 09, 2010
Hi Shelli

Unfortunately, yes....it's normal. The good news is that with each day you are free of tramadol, you will improve little by little. From experience, I can say that you most likely stopped feeling the effects of the hydrocodone within about 10 to 14 days after stopping it....which means that yes, what you are experiencing now is mostly ALL tramadol withdrawal. I am personally 138-ish days out from stopping tramadol and while it certainly isn't an easy road, I am happy to be where I am. Even at over 4 months out I still have random rebound pain, random bouts of insomnia and most of your same symptoms (with the exception of constipation....usually with tram w/d it's quite the opposite). Thankfully with each passing week, they seem to lessen a bit. The lack of energy and general "blah" feeling is what I find the most difficult....but again, it will improve.

As for the weight gain... ***sigh***  While I was on tramadol for my 7+ years I was slightly below my "idea" weight according to my height. Between the time I started my taper and now, I've gained 12 pounds and gone up one size. Thank goodness it stopped at 12#. It's most certainly the tramadol that kept my weight off and now that I'm done with it, the weight has come back from my pre-tramadol days. I've struggled mentally with that part, but have just decided to accept it. I'd rather be clean, drug free and 12 pounds over my preferred weight than be just the right weight and be dependent on tramadol (or any drug for that matter).

Hang in there - Better days are ahead of you!

:)


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by laneybc, Aug 09, 2010
Emily,
I have been on Tramadol for about 3 months. I am taking it because I need to have a knee replacement and I wanted off of the morphine so the doctor offered this. Might not be any better from the sound of it. Getting off morphine after being on it one year wasn't too bad even doing it cold turkey. Once I understood it was withdrawal not me losing my mind. I am also on anti-depressants and want to get off them too. Just so tired of being sick and tired and in pain. Gotta get off the anti-depressants in hopes of getting the weight off so I can get the knee surgery so I can get off the pain pills so I can get off the stomach meds. haha Vicious circle here.. Thanks for listening.
Elaine

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by madtram, Aug 09, 2010
Hi Elaine, what antidepressants are u on?  There is a risk of serotonin overdose if tramadol is combined with an SSRI.  I ask because it appears that some docs still don't know about tram's AD component.

Booba, it's completely understandable to crave having your energy back but now u have another reminder that tram is done for u & how fortunate is that.

Shelli, I think that I read that u are also on klonopin.  Tramadol & benzos seem to be a particularly toxic mix & withdrawal from one can trigger cross withdrawal in the other even though you are still on the benzo.  Emily & others, (me too), had a prolonged withdrawal due to also being on a benzo.

BBF, no doubt insomnia is the pits & I hope that your doctor can help. Your chances of a rapid full recovery are very good after only 2 months of tram, just bear in mind that adding drugs like ambien at this point can prolong withdrawal for some, although others  do fine, it's a game of chance.

SS, great job on the taper.  Not everyone has a tougher time once they reach the lower doses.  If u do, u could slow up the taper by holding at the same dose until your symptoms stabillise again.

Myfreedom, I think the weight loss effects of tram are just another part of its evil twin nature.  It causes us & general society to approve of our new perky trim selves while at the same time slowly killing us like a cancer so good on u for exposing its true side.

Pat,as always, u are an inspiration.

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by forget_me_not, Aug 09, 2010
Good evening, Warriors!  I've been away for a little while due to illness and a bout of "rebound depression"...but rest assured I've been keeping up with the posts here and I'm AMAZINGLY proud of each and every one of you who are fighting your way to a tram free life.  You're all my heroes.

My goodness.  So much is going on here.  So much good is happening here.  I'm somewhat in awe.  Pat, 100 DAYS!!!  What an awesome accomplishment!  Congratulations, my sister.  You truly are an inspiration, not just to me, but to the entire community.  Madtram, I can't count the number of times I've thought about you and prayed for your wellness.  You, Emily, and Fred were the Voices of Hope when I found this place over a year ago, still in the clutches of the worst nightmare I could ever fathom.  It's so good to have your expertise and sensitivity here again.

At 11 months free...my reflections on this crazy, very tumultuous journey.  One thing that always stands out in my collective experience over the past three or four years as the importance of understanding what it WAS that made you vulnerable to tramadol in the beginning.  Was it physical pain?  Depression?  Chronic low energy?  Boredom?  Because I really believe that, in the long run, resolving/overcoming/finding a way to cope with that factor will be CRITICAL in your long-term recovery.  If it was physical pain, there will come a time when you simply must find other ways to deal with that pain.  If it was emotional pain or depression, as I surely know, it's still going to be there when you get off this drug.  It may even be (in my case) worsened, at least temporarily, as the brain regains its own balance of neurotransmitters.  (Did I know about the SNRI properties of tramadol?  No, and my GOSH, I was in for it when I discovered that there was a tiny white pill that would TOTALLY obliterate my depression, make me normal, and give me tons of awesome energy and inner "peace" almost instantly).  If it was chronic low energy, CFS, or something similar...there will come a time when you must find a better way to cope with that, one that doesn't involve taking tramadol every few hours.  While it works, it's great.  Or is it?  When it stops working, the walls come tumbling down.  And that is a bad, bad place to be.

It strikes me as just about the most cruel prank that the pharmaceutical companies could play on people who have exhausted themselves and their finances to try to live with debilitating health issues, only to come across this vicious trap of a drug, and then have to claw their way out of it amidst a "health care system" that STILL doesn't even recognize tramadol as an addictive drug in many cases.  WTF????  The people here on this board, Emily and others, who are pioneering the path to freedom are HEROES.  Because they (we) did it without support from the people out there who are supposed to help care for our wellness.  Because we did it DESPITE the snickers and jeers from doctors and nurses who assured us it was "all in our head" when we went to them in the throes of tramadol WD asking for help.  How many others out there make a trip to the doctor/ER thinking they are dying on day three, only to go home with a Rx for MORE tramadol, and even less than no hope??  How many people are there who never make it to this site, the only site I know of dedicated to the utter hell that tramadol causes?  People, it's important to be here, to share your story, to help light the path for those who come after.  Because if we don't, nobody will.  If Emily hadn't, I would have had exactly NO hope.  And I seriously doubt I would still be alive one year later.

It's a waiting game.  Will the energy come back, Ever??  Will I ever sleep like a somewhat normal human being?  When will the RLS stop?  Will the depression ever go away?  Time.  Simple, straight up time.  Yes, your body and brain will regain that precious equilibrium.  But there's no way to that point except time.

And if you need incentive to stay the course?

I used to be so moved by the sight of fresh snow blanketing the ground at sunrise that I would actually cry.  The tiny crystals were like prisms splitting light into a million tiny flashes of color.  Breathing in the icy air and feeling the cold wind on my face brought me to tears.  I was just to grateful to be alive.  For three and a half years, while I took tramadol, NOTHING moved me.  Nothing broke through the layers of insulation, the layers of numbness.  I wasn't moved by life, or death, or suffering or need or celebration or grief or poverty or accomplishment or basic human kindness.  I was wasted life.  For more than three years, I showed up everyday but that was the extent of my involvement in this world.

Tonight I watched the sun set over the mountains, in a dazzling explosion of red and pink and purple, over the hazy hills and rolling farms and little houses with families experiencing all of that life and death and joy and suffering and need and celebration, and I was literally overcome with emotion at the mere thought of being here, right now, at this moment in time.  At the thought of being part of all of the turbulence of life.  I could pause and actually feel what it means to be a person in this world, with all the responsibilities that entails.  One of those responsibilities is to really SHOW UP.  To really be there.  To agree to partake of this thing called Life, maddening as it is, and difficult as it is.  Because you know what?  As hard as it is, it's even more good and beautiful and worthwhile.  Every second of it.

I may have missed far too many snowflakes, but if I notice even one because I stopped wrapping my brain in emotionlessness, then all is not lost.  There is wonder in just that one.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by the difficulty in life and to want to just bail out.  Lord knows I've been there, I've done it.  I'm not judging anyone who does.  I am simply saying that, coming out the other side, the colors are richer, the hues are deeper, the notes are more resonant.

A song came on the CD player in my car tonight.  It was Ray Lamontagne, and these lyrics stuck in my head.

"And all these things will change
But the memories will remain;
It's green to gold, and gold to brown
The leaves will fall to feed the ground
And in their falling make no sound."

A moving passage that reminded me of something important.  Whatever is, is transient.  It will change.  But yes, the memories will remain.  What that meant to me, and still means to me, is that the person you WERE, the person you feel is lost, is not lost at all.  No, instead you'll find that person is still alive and well under the layers of pain and fear.  You'll be that person again, the person who marvels at snowflakes at dusk, at sunsets over rolling green hills, at birth and death and rebirth and the crazy, beautiful miracle of it all.  You're still that person, only a lot wiser.

Sometimes I don't feel worthy to be here among such an awesome bunch of people.  Thank you all for bringing me into your fold a year ago, and for keeping me alive and breathing when I couldn't do it for myself.

Love, and peace.

LeeAnn

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by EmilyPost, Aug 09, 2010
LeeAnn writes, "It strikes me as just about the most cruel prank that the pharmaceutical companies could play on people who have exhausted themselves and their finances to try to live with debilitating health issues, only to come across this vicious trap of a drug, and then have to claw their way out of it amidst a "health care system" that STILL doesn't even recognize tramadol as an addictive drug in many cases.  WTF????"

Exactly.

Exactly.

It's obscene. They should be ashamed.

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by EmilyPost, Aug 09, 2010
Tripper ... Ali is a huge inspiration.

As the ecstatic poet Rumi says, "If all you can do is crawl, start crawling. Even if you have broken your vows a thousand times, come come again."

You can do it. I'm proud of you.

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by forget_me_not, Aug 09, 2010
Yes, Tripper...few of us made it on the first attempt!!  Start from this point in time, and let go of any bad feelings about past attempts.  They were trial runs to prepare you for the break.  

I'm so glad to see you here, and I hope you'll stay with us through whatever comes.  Remember, whatever it is, if you hold out, it WILL change.  Just hold on to that knowledge, and realize it does end. Better life is coming you to you, my friend and brother in arms.

Peace,
LeeAnn

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by Keyser_Soze, Aug 09, 2010
Hello again warriors. Like so many, I have hit a bump in my road to recovery.

Last November I was able, with the help of so many here, to eliminate Tramadol from my life and to begin the healing process. While the severe withdrawal symptoms were much more than I ever expected and consumed me for 3-4 weeks, eventually the shades of grey began to fill in with color and I was both pleased and humbled by the experience. I felt like I was beginning to take control of the wheel again. Don't misinterpret this as my saying that after a month of no pills I was cured-no, far from it. After a couple of months the depression, anxiety and insomnia still had their sharp little claws in my soul and had welcomed one of their friends to the party-chronic tinnitus.
I sought help for the depression/anxiety issues through the appropriate avenues .  Random memory #1-My mental health professional that was assigned by my insurance became fixated on the fact that I have been on more than 25 cruises and was hell-bent that there was some link between my need to cruise and the depression/anxiety that I was feeling! I started cruising when I was 17 and am now 47. I live in Florida. 25 cruises is less than 1 per year!  She saw little if any link between my issues and previous Tramadol use and recommended Benzos as my savior. No thanks. For now anyways.

The depression was completely new to me and for me at least, it was the most difficult to deal with by far. I thought that the further away from Tramadol I was the better it would get. It did get better, but it never went away. Given a choice between pain and depression I will take the pain. The depression made me want to hurt myself, badly.  Random memory #2-While flying in to Tampa (about 60 days after being Tram free) we could not land as the weather was too severe so we circled, and circled, and circled. Until we had no fuel so we were forced to land at nearby Orlando airport to refuel and wait for the Tampa airport to clear. Sounds nice but they don't pull up and let you off to stretch your legs or get a cold drink. No, they park us on a remote area of the tarmac and fuel the plane and we wait, and wait, and wait for 2 1/2 hours on the tarmac. My anxiety level peaked during the time on the tarmac as we weren't moving and I could not get off the plane. I blacked out, and since we were sitting in the front row the nice Southwest girl saw me black out and came with cold water and oxygen. Everyone was freaking out but I assured her that I was healthy but that I dealt with blood sugar issues every now and then so she brough me snacks and I regained my composure.

I eventually learned to somewhat deal with the occasional depression as it did subside to a level that I could mostly deal with on my own. The tinnitus has been diagnosed as Cochlear Hydrops, atypical Menieres Disease. I am getting the constant buzzing and fullness in my ears but have to miss out on the vertigo. Guess this gives me something to look forward to as I age.
Solution for Cochlear Hydrops? Clonazepam twice a day every day until you die...

The insomnia, which was not being helped by the tinnitus, was killing me so I asked my doctor what she could do and she offered me a wonderful little drug that everyone knows as Ambien-10mg per night every night until I die...

So now I have two weapons in my war chest Clonazepam(KLONOPIN) and Ambien.

Fast forward to July, 2010. The back pains that started it all are becoming worse and I seek alternative treatments including all types of massage and steroid injections and anything else that wasn't addictive My car was hit by a train when I was 19 and my back has not been the same since. As the back pain worsened I began to remember the dark days of Tramadol and how easily the pain could be dealt with, even if it was temporary. My back doctor game me Vicodin and pretty much let me know that with my situation all I had to do is ask. The funny thing is while the Vicodin numbed the pain, it didn't finish the job. What about the depression and the anxiety and the noises in my head. Only one lady could handle all of that and once again I fell under her spell in July. I danced with Tramadol for about a month and quckly felt the anxiety and tinnitus leave. But the depression and insomnia were still there. As the depression continued to worsen I knew that this mistake had to be corrected and I once again ended the relationship on August 4.

Divorcing the Dame of Death has not been as difficult this time as I only danced with her for a short time. The tinnitus has returned as has the insomnia. The depression has actually been somewhat manageable as has the anxiety. But of course I am back to dance with my old partners Ambien and Klonopin. I am 100% sure that the need for Ambien and Klonopin are a direct affect of my prolonged use on Tramadol. I need to get off of one then the other to see how much of me remains.

Right now I know that I have allowed Tramadol to steal years from my life. I'm too old to lose anymore. I have to move forward and start eliminating the Ambien and Klonopin to really be free.

Has anyone on here dealt with Trams, Klonopin and Ambien together or seperately?

Thank you all. Your words give people hope and sometime that is all they have.


Scott





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by madtram, Aug 10, 2010
Dear LeeAnn, so sorry to hear you have been unwell.  Thank you so much for your thoughts & prayers & may I say right back at you.
As for finding a cure for what ails us, the irony of the thing is that since being off tram, pain, the thing that admitted me to the club no-one wants to stay a member of, has been present but has been far the easiest thing to deal with.   This is not to infer anything at all about anyone else's pain but I do find it funny that for me pain is clean & reliable & hence bearable.  The randomness of the insomnia; the blood pressure swings & the palpitations are are what would have drawn me towards the mirage of pharamaceutical relief.  Thankfully, all potential drug cures are so much worse than the symptoms.

Emily, thanks for the Rumi, & your presence in the world, especially the www.

Scott, you poor dear.  If a therapist had suggested to me that delving deep into an enjoyment of cruising was the key to future mental health, either hysteria or violence would ensue.  Although, I am rather fond of a good cruise myself, perhaps that's what I have missing in therapy.

You have reminded me of a similarly weird shrink related incident.  When I was in my late 20s, I saw a p.doc to try to deal with the fact that my then husband had developed a serious addiction to cocaine & was spending all our mortgage money, (among other things).  I was working as a corporate lawyer & I used to wear these sleeve bracelets to keep my jacket sleeves back for ease of typing; eating etc.  This very esteemed "uptown" doctor wanted to spend a session discussing the relevance of my need for the arm bands & when I demurred, accused me of resistance & not wanting to get to the bottom of the issue.

On to more serious matters, if you go back in journal dates around a year or so, you will find many entries from our journal host on her Tramadol/ klonopin very unexcellent adventure.

I did the tramadol/ lunesta, (another z drug similar to ambien but stronger), thing & the conclusion I reached, (after researching Dr Ashton who really knows her stuff), is you are much better switching to valium which has a long half life & very slowly tapering off that.  The problem with the sleeping benzos & klonopin is that they are short acting so you are thrown into withdrawal earlier & more likely to develop tolerance.

Dr Ashton's tapers & how to switch from other benzos can be found at:-

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzsched.htm

Be kind to yourself & take it as slowly as you need.

Best to all,

M



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by lookingforhealth, Aug 10, 2010
DAy 2 of no  Tramadol!!!  And feeling better then I thought.  I had weened to 1 -1 1/2 a day.  I never thought I could go 24 hrs!!!

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by Tripper_, Aug 10, 2010
Booba, I'm really sorry to know that you are suffering like me.

Pat, my dear sister, when you say down to earth it makes me wonder about the nature of my days now! I'm not only lurking for that virtual cup of tea but I so much need it. However, making a cup of tea is a luxury that I can't afford now!!!

Emily, the poet does say that but what if your crawling doesn't even work because of the pain that not only comes from withdrawal but from a broken soul that refuses to believe that it can function again without the pill?!

LeeAnn, brothers in arms, Dire Straits, one of my favourite songs. Only God Knows Why, that's another song that is playing now somewhere in the background of my head that is making me question everything...

Tramadol warriors, forgive me, for adding the following quote to this post that I wrote in a frenzy: "The Caterpillar cannot understand the butterfly" Timothy Leary.


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by forget_me_not, Aug 10, 2010
Scott, first of all I LOVE your name!  One of my favorite characters from one of my favorite movies.  Cool :-)

Your tale just about made me cry.  I understand.  I, too, experienced the depression to the point of having um...desires to self-harm.  I won't get into that too much here because it can be triggering for others, but I will say it's not uncommon when discontinuing a powerful SNRI/opiate combo.  As to the other facets of your experience, did your doctor feel that there were any other treatments for the Meneire's?  I had a coworker who suffered from it, and had a surgical procedure that made it much better (cochlear implant, I believe).  She still had some symptoms, but nothing that couldn't be tolerated. Did you get a second opinion?  I'm sure you did, I'm just having a hard time accepting the fact that you have to take Klonopin forever and ever.

As Madtram and others here have mentioned, benzos and Ambien, Lunesta, and other benzo-like hypnotics can amplify, prolong, or even induce tramadol WD symptoms.  My heart goes out to you, my friend.  I hope you will continue to explore different treatment possibilities and that something other than the Ambien/Klonopin combo will help you.

((((Keyzer_Soze)))

Booba, dear, no worries!  You slipped but you didn't fall into the hole.  I'm sending you lots of love and hugs and support, and I am SO glad you're still with us.

Hang in there, warriors.  It can be done.

Love,
LeeAnn
(11 months tram-free on August 5!!)

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by forget_me_not, Aug 10, 2010
(((((Tripper)))))

Love, yours isn't the only soul that has been lied to by the tramadol to the point that it believes it can't go on without the pills.  I was there, too, just a short time ago.  I believed with all my heart and mind that I would die a very young woman, still on the pills, still broken beyond repair.  It's part of the cruel torturous abuse this drug wreaks on your spirit and emotions.

But see, there IS some part of you that believes something else is possible.  Or you wouldn't be here.  I see it in you, and I know it to be true.  This drug has beaten you spirit to utter brokenness, but it cannot take away the core of hope that you still have.  There MUST be hope, even if you can't see it or feel it, otherwise why would the rest of us be here promising total strangers that there is good life after tramadol?

I wouldn't lie about that.  If it weren't true, I would never, ever say it was.  I don't know you personally, but I know myself.  I know that I could put my hands on not even ONE shred of hope when I was at the jumping off place.  But something told me, "it's either this or die."  And the survival instinct took over, and I did what living things do.  I hunkered down, I sheltered myself as much as I could, and I prayed.  I waited and I hoped.  

My two favorite words in the entire history of words:  "Yo espero."  Spanish, translated to both "I hope" and "I wait".

There is a rebirth for you, Tripper.  The process of rebirth is painful.  But you will see the world with new eyes, just like a newborn child.

Be strong and trust us.

LOVE,
LeeAnn, who also madly loves every Dire Straits song

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by Petermac, Aug 10, 2010
Day 11

   How do I feel? I guess I feel better, I wish there was some way the depression and anxiety and desperation I felt the last months of my tram addiction could somehow have been preserved so that from time to time I could look back and feel how bad it was.
    Honestly, if I could have enjoyed the benefits of tramadol without the tolerance issues there would have been no need to quit, but that was not the case. Looking back at my iPod usage pages I was kind of surprised to see I was taking more than I realised. My average intake the last few months was about 8 a day! I was scared to go any higher because of the possibility of a seizure, but eventually I would have been up to 20 to 30 a day like so many others I have read about.
    It would have been so terrifying to me to have been taking that many and start having withdrawal symptoms like so many I've read about. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BAD! 
   I don't know how I would have handled that, it would have seemed like an utterly hopeless position to be in. Thankfully, I didn't get that bad, thankfully I had 9 days to w/d, thankfully I had Sandy here to help me. Thankfully I had the money to buy the supplies I needed to make my w/d doable. Thankfully I had a nice home to do it in. Thankfully I had the iPad and xbox to keep me distracted. Thankfully I had some weed to smoke. Thankfully I had no injury or pain to return to once the poison was out of my system. Thankfully I have not experienced depression, just a general malaise and lethargy which lifts from time to time.
   Would all these positives be in place should I ever relapse? I doubt it. With God's strength I have to stay this course whether it feels better or not. The alternative is unacceptable. Things are getting better every day, even if it's just a few minutes or hours a day. There is such deep satisfaction in knowing I'm not a slave to it
Anymore. That will have to be enough if that's all I have.


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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
I have a partial answer now..the xanax is helping prolong this withdrawal process...i never connected those dots...i've begun the taper off benzo..hoping this will help the process ... so grateful for the activity out here now..thank you all so so so much..
Tripper honey...forgive me if what i said seemed that i was minimizing what you are going thru when i said come back down to earth".. - i would not do that.. ever..
Love to all warriors...
Pat

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by laneybc, Aug 10, 2010
Well I have made the decision to get off the tramadol plus cymbalta and perhaps trazadone and buspirone. I will see the psychiatrist tomorrow and may have to see my GP to get the tramadol RX in smaller dosages. My health is going to become my top priority. I have raised four terrific kids and now it is time for my husband and I to enjoy a little more us time but I am too darn miserable because of meds etc. I hope I can do this without too much grief and that I can stay off of the antidepressants. I am starting to put my plan together and I wondered if anyone had suggestions for ways to cope with the withdrawal or things that might help like the hot baths etc. I will be making up a book with my plan in it so I can try the different things as I may need them. Thanks so much for listening and for being here. I wish you all every success in this battle and in your lives
Elaine

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
Petermac....beautifully stated...gratitude can cause a shift...very subtle at times..but a shift that brings us peace.
wishing peace to you..
love,
pat


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by forget_me_not, Aug 10, 2010
Elaine, Yes!  There are things that will help.  I'm curious though, are you planning to go off all the meds at the same time?  Particularly the tramadol and Cymbalta concern me since they are both SNRIs.  

Things that were helpful to me:

Hot baths with epsom salt for the RLS and body aches.  This was really, really helpful.  Some days I took three or four (or more) baths per day to help ease the thrashing legs and aches.

Ibuprofen liqui-gels for the body aches.  They sometimes helped significantly!

Bananas, baked potatoes, and other foods high in potassium for the RLS.

Quality proteins like lean meats, beans, and Slim-fast Optima products to help stabilize your blood sugar.  This helps keep blood sugar steady, which helps prevent fluctuations in serotonin.

Yoga!  This was such a major factor for me.  Check out or pick up a book or dvd and practice some of the poses and breathing exercises, as they REALLY help.

Distraction.  Read, watch movies, listen to music, do anything that helps keep your mind off the discomfort you might experience.

Also, it's SO important to keep everything in perspective.  Realize that EVERYTHING you go through during WD is temporary, and WILL change.  Just keep your focus on the day in the near future when you're going to feel MUCH better.

Stay with us, we'll do anything we can to help you!

Blessings,
LeeAnn

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by howcouldiknow88, Aug 10, 2010
My god...I have relapsed again. Will I ever be able to stay away from tramadol for good? I'm on it right now! When I'm not on it, even after the WD has passed, I just feel like something is missing. :-( I'm not sure how long this relapse will last. Until I get mad at tramadol causing dependency again I guess.

My fiancee and I have had some relationship problems as well and the tram has made me more patient. I do not want to lose this relationship. I love her. And we have a daughter together. Who will be turning 1 year old on the 15th btw :)

Just wanted to let you guys know I relapsed (again). and I don't want to beat myself up too bad.

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by booba77, Aug 10, 2010
How could I~I relapsed as well over the weekend for a couple of days.  I am staying away from them now, and I had been doing so well.  Don't beat yourself up.  It doesnt help at all.  Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You can do this. People relapse a lot but it should be making us stronger.  I feel listless and mad at myself.  It does feel like something is missing.  I wish this would jus all go away.  We have to keep going and keep staying away from it.  It is so hard I know.

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by oldmominor, Aug 10, 2010
I just found this sight and it has given me a lot of information.  I have been on Tramadol for 1 yr.  Started out at with small amounts that seemed to help a lot....to the ending of the tramadol 8 -50mg tabs that landed me in the ER after having a seizure in my home...Thank God in my home and not driving or caring for the 4 small children I watch during the day.  Thankfully the ER doctor is the one who told us that tramadol could cause my seizure threshold to lower.  My blood sugar was 80 when the paramedics got here and I was really coherent until they gave me dextrose...which then my BS came up to 155.  I had a Thyroid test yesterday and need to schedule a contrast MRI, due to a small mass that was found on my brain...that the ER doc didn't bother to tell me about.

I am Day 9...which has not been good but much better then Day 1-5.  Saw the neurologist yesterday and thankfully she is willing to look at the fact that it may be due to 4 different medications I was on. Tramadol and Soma being the biggest culprits. Since I had two seizures when I was in my late teens, I am now on dilantin until we can sort this all out.  We are also slowly decreasing that.

Emily...thank you so much for starting this journal.  I hate Tramadol and am kicking myself for ever asking for pain meds.  

BK

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 10, 2010
I am now about to hit the 48 hour mark.  I have to say the w/d is not as bad as I thought since I weened to 1-1.5 pills.  But all of a sudden I just realized,  I was happy on them.  I have no idea who I am without them.  I feel like someone just died.  Is this going to get better?  Reading all these stories have made me feel so much better but I am so scared that I am always going to be this damaged person.  I'm sorry I just had to vent.

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
How could I...i'll tell you what i told Booba.. stop beating yourself up..the fact that you are out here talking about, acknowledging what you did is really big..take it one day at a time dear one..one hour if you have to...I've read about many out here who relapse..it's pretty common...frankly, i dont know why i havent yet.. been days lately where i found myself wanting them..primarily for the energy.. But for today..I won't give in.. Do the best that you can today..you are the one in control..though the tram would have u think otherwise..when you are ready to kick to the curb again..we will all be here for you..Happy Bday to your precious little one...i have a grandson who will be 3 on the 15th!!  and my youngest grandson just turned one..such a tender age. One thing that helps me actually is thnking about my grandkids..and wanting to be authentic when i am with them..otherwise I think that i miss a lot (just my own experience)
Love n hugs to you ..keep posting..
Pat

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
Looking.. Yes I totally get that..i mentioned in a previous post how i feel im in process of reinventing myself. because of that very fact....How long have you been on Trams?   as you have probably read..those of us out a bit..especially Em, Madtram, LeeAnn and others will tell you  ..it most certainly gets better..but not necessarily in a linear way..ups and downs...can get discouraging..that is when i would come out here for support.. You are NOT a damaged person dear one...your body, mind and soul will recover.. Please believe that and keep on going.
Love n hugs.
Pat

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
pls forgive me everyone..i want to address as many as i can and may do it in individual lposts..as im leaving town for almost 2 week business trip and want to check in with as many as i can ..
Scott - I love your expression "Divorcing the Dame of Death"   truly i do feel like my life would have ended much sooner had I chosen to stay on the Tramadol..my liver enzymes were elevated ..dr. said that the trams (as well as xanax & alcohol) were wreaking havoc on my poor liver..-  a psychiatrist put me on remeron to help wean me off the xanax.. I just started last week so I can't give any legit feedback just yet..but it is supposed to address sleep issue, anxiety and depression.but supposedly more benign than Xanax..  im hoping that my withdrawal symptoms from the tram will lessen as i wean off the xanax...Thank you for sharing your story. please keep sharing..as i've said..there's someone else out there who may relate and can come to terms with their own tram use and reach out for help..
I havent see Sasha for a while..but her sign off is beautiful..

"All is well, you are loved"
and you are.
Pat

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 10, 2010
3 long years!!! I met and married my husband on them.  What if I he doesn't even know the real me???  I was with him earlier and I had nothing to say to him. He had to go out with clients and I was relieved!!! I know it's still really early in the process but it scared me.  I guess that's it I am just really scared.  I was able to make anything I wanted go away with those opills.  If you hurt my feelings pop a pill, if you were mad at me pop a pill,  if i was bored, alone, stressed, tired.  I could go on and on.  

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
BK ..you have a lot going on there..to be 9 days out from the Tram after having the seizure..and coming out here to post..amazing...that alone shows incredible strength. Hang in with the docs til they give you some answers..and hang in with us out here...ask for what you need..many here will have the answers...
Courage and strength.. to you dear one.
Pat


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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
Looking...listen honey... my daughers gave birth to 3 grandchildren and i was on the Trams.. one of my grandkids got diagnosed with a serious cancer..and i was on trams..i lost my brother and sister within 6 weeks of each other...yes while I was on trams...did not cry..did not grieve..i was just there...my tram use goes back 5+ years.. i was a functioning zombie. I too popped the pills at every emotional turn..God forbid I should feel ANYTHING....i really do understand what you are feelling.  my sense is that you are pretty amazing..that perhaps the person your husband married will turn out to be more incredible than he realized!!  as my therapist always says..feelings are very temporary..and they are just that..feelings. they change..they go away.....but at the time we are experiencing them..it seems they will last forever..hang tough dear one..feel them..move thru them without the little white football.. talk to us..shout, cry yell..whatever you need to do..you can post 100 times..we are here..and we know what you are feeling.  the more we feel..and the more we move thru these feelings without depending on  "T"...the stronger we get..  i know i know..i hate it..really hate it..but today im 104 days out..and it's getting a bit easier..it really is.
if you have access to a dr. or therapist..someone you can see in person and talk to about all this..that helps as well..
we are not bad people...we are good people who were given bad advice..
sending a big hug over.
Pat


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by lookingforhealth, Aug 10, 2010
Thank you so much Pat!!!!  I will not give up.  Even if I find out the person I really am hates ice cream but loves brussel sprouts!!

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
Y'all getting sick of me yet??  ok dont answer that.. just needed to send this out
((((LeeAnn)))) how you grace us all with your presence out here....the exquisite writer/communicator that you are...I cannot imagine this forum without you honey...When you described the sunset.. make me tear up...i could see it, smell it, feel it..so beautiful..

This is from Lee Ann's Post:   "What that meant to me, and still means to me, is that the person you WERE, the person you feel is lost, is not lost at all.  No, instead you'll find that person is still alive and well under the layers of pain and fear.  You'll be that person again, the person who marvels at snowflakes at dusk, at sunsets over rolling green hills, at birth and death and rebirth and the crazy, beautiful miracle of it all.  You're still that person, only a lot wiser."  

Oh Dear God..does it get put any better than this???!!!    looking for health:  ..this is what i mean..peeling back the layers of pain and fear as Lee Ann refers to...and finding yourself again...only to is through it..see what i mean??    can growth occur when everything comes easy?  i think not...

I love you all so so so much...you are my family and fellow warriors in the huge battle we all undertake.
one more thing - Mad..you talked about benzo withdrawal and Dr. Ashton..Thanks to Emily i visited the site
www.************.com  and got some great info..met some great folks. if anyone needs help with the benzo withdrawal I would recommend that site as well.

Ok..i will shut up now dear ones...
I will miss you all a lot..please keep up the fight..  Em says..it can be done...and it can.
Gratefully
Pat




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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
Looking honey..you are a sweetheart...i think you are going to uncover/discover a really amazing woman!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxox

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 10, 2010
that line from Lee Ann's post gave me a great idea.  I am going to pull out a pic of me when I was a little girl.  When I had a huge smile and my worst thought was getting into a fight with my sister over our dolls!!!  I will keep it with me wherever I go from now on!!  Freekles (SP) and pigtails!!!!!!!  

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 10, 2010
Yes..that was the real you...that's who you are my dear...the girl with the huge smile (guessing a  huge heart as well )...she is so worthy and deserving of this fight!!!!!  Fight to get her back...


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by laneybc, Aug 10, 2010
I think that what I will be doing is a slow taper off of the Cymbalta and Tramadol as well as trazadone and buspirone. As I taper off I will take vitamin and mineral and amino acid supplements. I have also written down everyones suggestions for coping with withdrawal. Nothing like advice from those on the frontlines of the battle. Your wisdom is invaluable. I will be seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow and then the GP if needed. Any thoughts on a safe pain reliever for moderate to severe pain from joint deterioration?
Thanks to you all and best wishes,
Elaine :)

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by forget_me_not, Aug 10, 2010
Lookingforhealth, I **love** the idea of getting out an old picture!!  I'm going to do it, too.  And I'm going to post it in my photos in my profile here as a reminder.  THAT is truth, my friends.  Look into the eyes of a child and you will see an unadulterated, uncorrupted spirit.  You'll see pure essence.  That is what this journey is all about.  Stripping away the layers and finding and recognizing what remains as the truth of who you are.

What a wonderful challenge!  To all of us.  Warriors, look into your own eyes as a child.  Find yourself there.

love, warriors.  You all humble me, strengthen me, make me a better me.

LeeAnn

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by Keyser_Soze, Aug 11, 2010
Good evening warriors. It feels good to be amongst friends.

madtram---Your shrink story made me smile. How any professional could feel the need to put a patient in such an awkward/defensive position over such meaningless angle is beyond me.

Our first session started something like this---  As we introduced ourselves she(the shrink) asked me many trivial questions including "What do you do for a living?" I responded truthfully with "Nothing, I'm retired".
She seemed very taken back by this fact and then asked "Aren't you bored?" To which I responded that "Everyone that I know works hard so that they may someday retire before they die. Since this depression and anxiety that I am feeling seems to be killing me I decided to retire in preparation for the inevitable." She didn't find humor in my statement. The meetings went downhill from there...

I made copies of the taper schedule and will offer it as my best solution during next week's visit with my doctor. She will almost certainly work with me in any way possible to help.  During my 1st shot at getting off of Tram last November I simply stopped taking and was blindsided by what hit me. After two days I knew that I had bitten off more than I could chew so I called her at home and explained what was happening(I hadn't told her I was stopping Trams). So at 11:00 PM she is calling me in a script for Restoril 30mg and Clonidine! She is an angel and has went above and beyond to help me stay the course. I have let her down. But I am going to make it right.


FMN---The doctors treating my Meneire's are still trying to understand what is causing it (could'nt be Tramadol withdrawal, right?). I get tested every 3 months so that they can measure pressure in my ears. Seems that just want to keep me sedated until they have a solution (could'nt be Tramadol withdrawal, right?).


Tripper---Only God Knows Why---My 'go-to' song when things are really bad. I'll be playing it once a day in your honor while you're in battle.


Booba---I recall you getting off the Trams about the same time as I last year. Seems we relapsed together too. You will succeed Booba, somehow I know that for sure.

Thanks to all for your positive thoughts and words. They mean a lot.



Sleep well warriors. Tomorrow will be better than today.

Right after my Ambien fix I'll join you.


Scott

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 11, 2010
Hi all. 3 days!!!!!!!!!!! I posted my childhood pic!!  I woke up this morning with a hangover!!  But took some advil and water and feel OK.  So for no depression but it is only 8:25am.  I didn't mention on here that I have a 6 month old son.  I looked at him and felt such stronge love this morning.  Pure tram free love!!!!!!!!

I know this is going to be hard but so much better then hiding behind the drug.  Thanks for all the support so far!!  I really need every bit of it

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 11, 2010
By the way no alcohol just feeling of a hangover I guess from W/D's

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by Tripper_, Aug 11, 2010
Dear LeeAnn, at this point in my life, you are like a very small light bulb trying very hard to light an entire dark tunnel. God, I truly love every word you say. There is no proof yet that I entirely lost hope, however, what I can yell you is that not a second in my life now passes without thinking about that small evil pill.

Pat, sis, don't worry none of your words ever offend me. It's just that some times I feel so f*****g unworthy of being here among people like yourself. You see Pat it's not only being an addict that makes me ashamed. No, hell no, it's something else. Believe me when I say that I don't know what exactly it is! It's like a bundle of things. All dark, all black and all extremely vicious. That's how I feel sis about each and every reason that pushes me to take this pill again. Whether it is for energy, to kill pain, to be able to survive in this world or even just to converse with a thick headed doctor who doesn't understand what I'm going through! Don't worry sis, just keep on posting and helping people including me. You are our angel.

Scott, what a truly nice gesture form you. True brother, the song comes in handy when things are severely bad. Especially when he says I take too many pills, it helps to ease the pain. It feels like he is singing to me, you know...

I don't really want any of you tramadol warriors out there to feel like it's that hard to quit. It's just the fact that each and every one of us is a completely and entirely different story. You see to me quitting is not the problem, no. The problem is that I'm no doctor to understand exactly what on earth is wrong with me!!! Now, I feel like I wrote a very depressed post. Partially because of withdrawal and partially because of losing a pill that deceives me each time and makes me feel like it's my one and only friend!!! So, I hope this quote by Martin H. Fischer, Fischerisms will bring a smile to your face like it did to mine: "Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window except that the birds might eat them". Don't think too much about that quote, you might end up crying!!!

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 11, 2010
Tripper I can understand what your saying.  Like why do we want them in the first place.  Why can't we fill the void they fill on our own??  Why would we be totally pissed if a bird got our pills and not us!!??  

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by bigbrotherfan, Aug 11, 2010
I am on day 3 of no Tramadol.  I feel great other than I am very anxious and I have had a hard time sleeping.  I went to the doctor yesterday.  They started me on a 10 day supply of Ativan and Ambien. Last night I was able to sleep for almost 5 hours straight, which sure beat the 2 hours of broken sleep I was getting.  The dr told me to expect to have the anxiety and racing thoughts for about a week from the time I quit taking the Tramadol, which was last Sunday.  I hope they are right.  I wish everyone the best at beating this thing.  I am on my way.  I have no depression or desire to take any Tramadol.  I feel clear headed, and I actual feel emotion since I came off if it 3 days ago.  I just need the racing thoughts to stop so that I can relax and sleep.  The meds are helping for sure.

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by Onedaynow, Aug 11, 2010
I am sorry I have not been around; vacationing in southern california with no wireless connection! Anyway, hello to all. I am going to catch up on posts here but I hope you are all doing well in your battle!!

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by booba77, Aug 11, 2010
Tripper~I can relate to what you are feeling.  I have a great daughter and she should fill thr void.  I should not feel empty or half dead, yet I still do.  I still long for the  numbness and energy.  I don't want to long for it, but I do.  I just want to be normal again, whatever the he normal is.   LeeAnn your words are very inspiring.  You and Pat are such great assets to this site, and I couldnt do it without you.  I feel pretty good today, but I didnt sleep well at all last night.  I guess I will just have to go home and fill the void by trying to make the most of the evening with chores and try to spend some quality time with my little one.  We just have to relish the little joys in life, and be gentle on ourselves.  The exercise thing~I know it would help my depression, health, blah blah, but how does one find the time to do it while working full time with a long commute and raising a child?  I want to exercise, but have little to no spare time.

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 11, 2010
((((Booba)))))  love u sweetie..you are such a cheerleader for everyone else out here..your presence makes me smile and makes my day on many days!!!  yes, be gentle on yourself..i was just talking to tripper about the simple things..interesting you should mention that..it's the simple things that we overlook ..the amazing beauty in simple things that we overlook when spending all our energy looking for the big, complicated, fabulous overrated  "things".. we thought the Tram would bring us and, also, all the things  the media tells us will make us oh so happy!
u are on the right track honey girl..just look into the eyes of your little one....that will be your confirmation.
love
Pat

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by howcouldiknow88, Aug 12, 2010
So, I guess you already know the tramadol inventors, Grunenthal, have introduced Nucynta (tapentadol)  to the USA market.
They are also planning to market faxeladol and ciramadol for medicinal use. Why can't they just leave it alone? They did enough by creating tramadol.

I mean, do they have a giant, high-tech lab with tramadol analogs and derivatives just lying around?

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by ladylisa109, Aug 12, 2010
Okay I am finally able to focus enough to post.  I will do my best to keep this from turning into a novel.  I am currently on about 48hrs of no Tram. after taking it for over 5 yrs.  My original dosage started at one 4x a day as needed for pain.  I have Rhuematiod Arthritis btw.  At first like everyone else it helped great and some of the side effects were pretty good also, ie tons of energy, feel good mood, got a lot done around the house etc.  Then slowly my dosages increased and I would take it more often or sometimes two pills if I was feeling especially achey like in the morning.  Well, when you increase what you take that darn script doesn't last a long as its suppose too.  So I discovered how to get this evil evil pill on-line.  It was of course more expensive but didn't have to talk to anyone and they sent it straight to the house.  So now I was up to roughly 6-8 pill of 50 mg a day.  Tragedy struck my family and I lost my husband in a motorcycle accident.  Here I was a stay at home mom with two little girls and a widow.  But not only did I loose my husband I also lost my health insurance.  My children qualified for state sponcered care but I was on my own.  With social security benefits from my husbands death for me and my children it was enough for us to get by on and I did not have to return to work.  Now I wasn't even seeing my Dr. anymore just getting my meds on line.  At first I thought or lied to myself really and said it all okay...they couldnt sell it to me if it was a controlled substance.  Well, fast forward to now ... up until Thursday I was taking 8-10 50 mg trams a day.  I realized my script was going to run out before I could get enough money for another one.  I HAD to finally give up this damned devil drug because I simply could not afford it.  So I quickly did a taper of the dose and took 5 pills Fri. , 4 Sat., 2 on Sun and my last one Mon afternoon.  I knew it was going to be nasty and horrendous.  I had run out of them before for a day or two but I REALLY REALLY want to stop them for good now.  I can't go to a Dr for help with this because I dont have the money and I havent seen my family dr. in about 3 yrs because of the shame.  I can handle the diarehha, the upset stomach and most of the pain but this no sleep and the RLS are getting to me.  I know right now if someone handed me a script of pills I would be SO tempted to take them.  But at the same time I know I have to stop and I think this may have been Gods way of getting me here.  I have enough money I plan on picking a few things up at the store tomorrow if I can drive and if not have someone take me, like vitamins, benedryl and such.  I took benedryl last night and it helped for about 2-3 hrs with the RLS but discovered today I didn't have anymore.  I truely prayed and prayed hard for the first time today in years.  I have to stop this for my kids and for me.  I never want to feel like this again....ever.  Thanks for reading if you made it this far and I will try and update tomorrow to let you know how I am fairing.  Again  Thank you,   Lisa

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 12, 2010
bad bad bad night.  I was up for about 4 hours and my only thought was take the pill just take and go to sleep.  But I didn't and now I am tired and in pain and feel like crap.

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by ladylisa109, Aug 12, 2010
Argggggggggggggggggggggg this leg things is driving me CRAZY.  I can handle everything else okay but the RLS is just too much!!!!!   I am in tears just because I want/need it to stop if for just an hour!!!

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by EmilyPost, Aug 12, 2010
Epsom salt baths ... they help. benadryl and Immodium AD ...

Muscle rubs, heat packs .. ice packs

breathe in to the count of 5 ... out to the count of 10 ... drops your heart rate

distract yourself ... movies .. books anything

I'm sorry LadyLisa ... stay the course it gets much better after 3 days



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by lookingforhealth, Aug 12, 2010
Ladylisa,  Good luck and stay stronge.  HAve you tried the Hylands for RLS it worked well fer me because the benadryl makes the RLS worse for some.  It made me fidgity anytime I had to take it

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by Onedaynow, Aug 12, 2010
Wow, there is a lot going on out here! RLS almost killed me and maybe that alone should keep me from relapsing. Hylands was the only thing I found helpful and I had to use the full dose, which I believe was 4 tabs, which I often took 1 or 2 more than that at night. Those of us who have been there are with you, just hang on, and it is moment by moment. All of a sudden you will have a moment that is better, an improvement, and it does get better.

For those of you who have relapsed, no shame, no guilt!! The stats say we are more likely to relapse than not and I do know that feeling bad about it will only make the whole thing worse. Wherever you are in this tram mess, you have support.

I will never forget the first time I took Tram and my immediate thought was that I was certain my chemistry was missing whatever was in that pill. It made me feel great, energetic, happy and as if I could accomplish anything. Boy do I understand wanting to feel that again! Unfortunately, it does turn its back on you...in such a short time. Taking more and more to no longer feel great but just to not feel awful!

I still hold on to pills that I have found stashed. Why? I don't know. They are there "just in case". I am often tempted to just take one, to see if that initial feeling will return but then I come back here. I remember. I read the old posts. Nope, not worth it, at least not today. And that is it, that is all we have. This moment in time.

Thanks for all of the honesty and wonderfully written posts! Wherever you are today in this battle I wish you all the best.

Diane

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by Tripper_, Aug 12, 2010
Booba, on a scale from one to ten. One being I know nothing about your situation and ten being I totally understand it. I think that I'm somewhere at five or six. You see, Booba, the only thing that I find nearly impossible to do is convincing myself that going back to tramadol is 100% bad for me. Like for instance people who have high blood pressure have to take their medication, and by doing so their blood pressure drops. Now tramadol treats both my depression and my pain, thus making me always desire more and more and more... The push it gives me, you know this feeling that whatever is happening around me, I can carry on. Like I stop caring about all the bad aspects of my life. I suddenly am this person who is very optimistic and who couldn't care less about anything that normally makes me feel bad.
I really wish form the bottom of my heart that you beat this drug Booba.
Tripper

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by bigbrotherfan, Aug 12, 2010
I'm on day 4 of no tramadol. The few days prior to stopping i was taking 50mg/day. Prior to that I was taking 300mg/day.  I have felt great through the entire process except for not sleeping well and having racing thoughts in my hand of when I will be able to sleep.  I have yet to get depressed. I have experienced any nausea and diarrhea since day 2of no tramadol.  I just wish the racing thoughts would stop so I can sleep.  I started on Atavan on day 2.  I have relaxed some, but the racing thoughts have continued. The dr prescribed me ambien which has allowed me to sleep about 4 hours a night compared to 1 or 2 without it.  I hope this ends soon.  It is starting to affect my job.  I need good constant sleep, and I do not want to become dependent on ambien.

I wish everyone the best in their recover.  It is rough, but there is a way through it.

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by booba77, Aug 12, 2010
Tripper~I know what you mean.  It makes my depression totally go away too.  If Tramadol had not bankrupted me I would probably still be ordering online.  Whoa that was an honest statement.  I am flat broke, totally bummed, and trying to pick up the pieces of my life.  I had a major seizure whil on tram, and it almost killed me.  I have no willpower with it. Relapsing was horrible, it didnt even make me feel good or better so I feel like this will be it for me as long as I keep coming here and remembering the damage it causes.  And yes, the RLS is sooo bad I remember well.  the epsom baths helped me the most, but I tried the hylands too.  Good luck all.

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by ladylisa109, Aug 12, 2010
I am going to pick up some things this afternoon hopefully including Hylands and epson salts.  I have a friend that gave me a couple of muscle relaxers because I mentioned have muscle spasms in my legs.  Would they help any??  I don't want to trade one froblem for another and its only two they had left from a script of their own they had.  I have slept maybe 4 hours total in the past two days and like I said I can handle all the other w/d crap it just this dang RLS that really getting to me.  If it doesn't ease up some in the next week I can easily see myself relapsing when I have the money to again order some more and I DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT.  I truely never want to feel this horrible again.  I will keep praying and trying and praying some more.  Thank you so much for the encouragement and advice.  I feel like right now right here is the only place where people can "get" where I am coming from and going through.    Again Thank you, Lisa

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by james22778, Aug 12, 2010
hey their hope all is well today i know how you all feel i have been their many times dont know how many times i quit and went right back to doing it again and again the sleep is what killed me the most i need my sleep and an hour or two here and their just didnt cut it one reason i went back to taking them again and i always had a stupid feeling in my stomach  like i had lost something or was really missing something and i didnt know what i was missing another reason i went back but it was not the right way to handle it i should of stayed the course but i didnt but thats in the past this is the future and so far so good i know each and everyone of us can beat this drug just stay strong and know i am pulling for you

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by oldmominor, Aug 12, 2010
Day 12

I am feeling more and more like myself...the key is that I am also "feeling".  Seems I can cry at a drop of the hat...but really.. it feels good to cry, so I let it out.  So far what has saved me...lavender salt baths...and fruit slushies.  I am still dropping weight..not a bad thing. ;)  I am amazed at how my life has changed in 12 days...I am not as angry...I can actually feel love from my husband and enjoy being around him.  For the last year that has not been the case.

I am on my way out for physical therapy and a massage.  Now is the time to take care of me...I have been taking care of others most of my life, this is not easy for me.  I am angry...but not at others..this time I am anger at myself.  Angry because every medication I have ever taken I have always researched...have always known the side effects.  I didn't take the time to research this one.  My life has been turned upside down...and I have no one to be angry at except myself.  Within the last year I became weak...to try and do it all.  I was the one to go to the doctor and ask for these d**n drugs to help get through the day.

Still living in a fog....but living!
BK

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 12, 2010
Hello.
new here. I am hoping i am doing this right! Can someone tell me if i am doing this tram cut back  the right way. I am pregnant now and need to get off. My ob knows I am on it but he doesn't have much experience with it says if I am on a low dose during delivery shouldn't cause w/d in newborn and several doctors I have talked to says it causes no birth defects. I have talked to several mamas that have taken it and they had no w/d in their babies thank God. but.... I don't want to risk it as I know how uncomfortable they are.
I have been on tram for years. I have now cut back to 2 pills slooowly from 6 pills a day over like 4 months.
I have done GREAT! But now I feel in a slump and last week I was on 2 1/2 and now am on 2 for the last 4 days.
My issue is I am SOOOOO tired and out of it! My main thing is lack of sleep and depression. With little bits of anxiety in between. I just don't want to do ANYTHING. things are piling up in my house to the extreme. :(
So my dosage is 1/2 pill at 4:30 am (was 6 but I can't sleep so I take it earlier now) 1/2 pill at 9 am. 1/2 pill at 1 pm and 1/2 pill at 6. So that is 100 mg a day now.
I am on day 4 of the taper and feel TIIIRRRED!!!! and lack of interest in pretty much anything. :(
my plan is this:
today-friday- 2 pills divided in 4 doses of 1/2 pill each. I have been on this dose for 4 days now. From 2 1/2
Saturday-tuesday 4 days- cut back to 1 1/2 a day divided in 3 doses
Wed-Saturday cut back to 1 a day divided in 2 doses
Than just cut back 1/2 pill every 4 days until I am at zero. So it will take around 11-13 days or so.
Am I prolonging my agony? or is this the best way. I have cut cold turkey once (well tried and it was the WORST HELLISH nightmare I have ever experienced) I am not having severe RLS or severe withdrawls just feeling down mainly and out. With some anxiety.

Can someone tell me the best way to finish this off? I don't want to go into premature labor. Dr says its not good to quit cold turkey but wondering since I am on a lower dose if it would harm anything. The other issue I am having is MAJOR pain. Pain where I am crying at night/evenings because its so bad. :( so my pain isn't gone which makes it even harder to get off. I am taking tylonal 2-3 pills a day. But I swear thats a placebo.
He has offered t3 but I hate that stuff. Makes me throw up and it doesn't really work for my kind of pain anyhoo add that to the fact that I don't want to w/d from that too later and I hear baby can have w/d on that as well.

Someone? anyone? how can I do this faster without going into a depression/anxiety/lack of sleep!!! I have been up several times through the night andddddd...... get up for the day at 4 am.
Am I giving it reasonable time to w/d? How long will the anxious/depression total lack of energy last?
I am so used to being up and around and doing this and that because of the pills that I think my depression may be because I LOVE staying busy and without this drug I can't stay busy 1 becasue I have no energy 2 because my damn pain!!

Any words of advice or encouragement?

Anyone know you can do the thomas recipe while pg? l-tyrosone? or whatever that is.
I am taking rescue remedy and magnesium which actually does help.

Sorry so long my brain is foggy and I can't think straight so I am rambling.
PLEASE don't judge me about being pg on this. It was a birth control pregnancy and I am happy about it but not happy I am on meds.

I started taking 1 benadryl at night for sleep dr said it was fine! But I am still waking up several times.

Thanks

Mich



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by booba77, Aug 12, 2010
Good lord I have no idea on being onit while you are pregnant.  that is a tough one.  I think your tapering schedule is great though, and you are going about it the right way.  Lack of energy, RLS and depression are the main withdrawalsit tram, and the lack of energy tends  stay awhile. I would do some research on pregnancy and tram, but your tapering is great, and I would keep tapering.  

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by Onedaynow, Aug 12, 2010
Lisa, I don't think a couple of muscle relaxers will hurt you at all while getting through acute WD. Certainly better than buying more tram! I really understand that horrible ache, like your bone marrow is on fire, I will never forget it!


Oldmominor, good for you! Yes, self care!! It sounds like you are doing great. Feeling again is interesting isn't it? I remember crying at the drop of a hat. And, those feelings of love, how wonderful is that...I told my husband that I felt like I had fallen in love with him all over again.

Mich, your taper plan sounds great. I think you are right on track and your body will certainly let you know. I don't think you are prolonging symptoms, I think you are making symptoms tolerable but then again, I had to taper. I tried CT and ended up right back where I started. 5 HTP and Tryptophan would be great supplements for depression however, with you being pregnant I have no idea if it is safe. I think you should discuss this with your OB doc. I know Zoloft can be safe during pregnancy if you want to go that route. I think better a prescribed antidepressant than Tram while you are pregnant but certainly you need to do what you are comfortable with. No matter what, you have come a long way!


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by lookingforhealth, Aug 12, 2010
Also know that just the pregancy makes you TIRED all the time!!  So maybe try something that keeps your mind busy but not your body.  Like crosswords??  I know it sounds stupid but it helped me when I tappered due to my pregnancy!!

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by james22778, Aug 12, 2010
good luck to you i never could taper if i have them i will take them

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by ladylisa109, Aug 12, 2010
My third day off of Tram and I am well pretty much a mess but having a blessed decent moment right now.  I am so afraid that if I don't feel much better by Wednesday mainly meaning the RLS I may be tempted to order more medicine because I will be able to afford it.  I SO don't want to be caught in the grips of the horrible evil pill again.  I have to make myself get up this evening and do at least a little bit around the house.  Getting low on clothes lol.  My fiance who lives with me and my oldest daughter who is 13 have been extremely extremely understanding and helpful.  But I HAVE to get my act together by Monday somewhat.  I don't have to be 100% but I do need some funcationablities since I have to get my kids ready to start back to school in a week and a half.  My poor lil man my youngest who just turned 4 doesn't understand why he can't cuddle in bed with Mommy or have me come play with him and I feel so guilty.  I can't stand for anything to touch my legs right now aside from my clothes.  My fiance tryed to massage them for me and it was to painful and made the RLS worse.  I seem to be just rambling but this is the only place for me to go and spill it out and have someone who honestly understand what I am going through.  Please keep me in your prayers and I will keep praying myself and thank you everyone for all the support.  Lisa

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by james22778, Aug 12, 2010
lisa i wish the best for you i know what you are going through but remember if you buy more and take them all that you just went through is for nothing because you will gain tempory relief with them but you will run out again and buy more or get mad at yourself again and quit then all of these wd  start all over again and they could be worse than before but it you stay the course and not take anymore you already have 3 days that you dont have to re live again your already through the part you never thought you could do again dont lose what you have already done and have to do it all over again its just not worth it because i know i have done it good luck to you

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by forget_me_not, Aug 12, 2010
Oh, Lisa...My heart goes out to you!  At day three you're pretty much at the place where it's as bad as it gets.  Day three was the absolute worst for me.  Please realize that, if you don't take tramadol, you are going to feel significant improvements REALLY soon.  Maybe tomorrow, maybe over the weekend.  But it's going to happen.  All of a sudden your legs will just stop hurting for a little while!  And the RLS will give you a break.  And you'll find the depression lifts almost like a vapor disappearing.  All of those symptoms may revisit you from time to time during the first few weeks off tram, as the recovery is very random, not linear at all like with other opiates.  I wish it were predictable.  I wish I could tell you when to expect what, but in general, that's just about impossible with tram withdrawal.  What MOST of us experience, though, is hell for the first four to seven days, then a little clearing, and by day ten or eleven you should feel much better.

Please just distract yourself, stay focused on things outside your body as much as you can.  I know how hard that is, but if you can do it, it helps.  Listen to music, watch movies, read, do mild stretches and as much physical movement as you can to help disperse the tension in your muscles.  Eat regularly, and eat quality proteins to keep your blood sugar stable, as this helps keep serotonin from plummeting (which makes you feel even worse).  Give your body what it needs...lots of water, potassium for the RLS, and warm baths with epsom salt.  They made a huge difference for me.

Most of all, time.  It just takes time.  You will feel better very soon if you stay the course.  If you get the pills you're eventually going to have to do this all over again.

Stay with us, ok?  Keep us posted.  We will do ANYTHING we can to help you through!

Blessedmommy, your taper schedule sounds reasonable to me.  Just stick with it and make sure you eat lots of nutritious foods!!  You can do it.  It's hard, but you can.

Peace, warriors.
LeeAnn


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by Keyser_Soze, Aug 13, 2010

bigbrotherfan-Sounds like your body is adjusting fairly well considering what it is going through. Here's hoping that your road to freedom is short and manageable. For most it seems that the sleep patterns return slowly, but they do return. I can send you the entire season of BigBrother All-Stars on CD for those sleepless nights if you like )

lisa-If you have made it through day three then you have seen the worst of it and will start seeing small improvements very soon. I vividly remember day three as the day that I began making deals with God. He held up his end of the bargain. Make yourself stay busy and please listen to Leeann's suggestions. It will get better.

Tripper-Nobody here knows what all you've been through. But everyone wants to help. Where on earth can you get that, for free? You've got cyber fans living vicariously through your posts so just make sure everyone gets a happy ending. Not 'that' kind of happy ending...

          'People don't know bout the things I say and do
          They don't understand about the **** that I've been through
          It's been so long since I've been home
          I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long'

I was blessed with a pretty good day today. About a 6. Exercised hard this morning and ate lots of protein along with double dose of 5 HTP TR 200 mg. Stayed busy. Been lucky this 2nd time vs Trams. Klonopin and Ambien, you're next!


'Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on'



Goodnight Warriors

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by Tripper_, Aug 13, 2010
Scott, I think I know what you mean by making sure that everyone gets a happy ending. This was one of the main reasons why sometimes I decide to stay away. I'm also happy for that good day you had and I wish that you will have more and more days like that.

I think that now I'm at this point in withdrawal where the physical pain is at its least. While, on the other hand, the psychological pain and depression are at there peak. Anyway, I think that after reaching a dose of 1000mg per day, this is all normal! I think I now clearly understand David D. Burns when he said that depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem...

All the best tramadol warriors.

Tripper

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 13, 2010
LAst night was the absolute worst couldn't sleep, couldn't stop my body from moving and couldn't stop the dark thoughts from coming.  I wanteed to just make it stop and not even with just taking another pill.  It was, I think the lowest moment in my entire life.  But honestly I just wanted to be able to get online and post that I made it through.  I am now on day 5.  Since nobody in my life knows anything you guys are all I have right now who understand and know my darkest secret.  

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 13, 2010
Thanks so much for all the support ya all. It really is VERY helpful to go through this with help and not alone.

Last night I did better. It was night 4 of my taper plan of 1/2 pill out. Went from 2 1/2 to 2 on monday. yesterday I felt worse then the day before. not sure why as it was day 4. I am not have major w/d symptoms just depression and don't want to do a thing!! And a feeling of fever/chills or something. But all in all I DID It!!!! So today my plan is just 1/2, 1/2, 1/2, 1/2 at my usual times again and then tomorrow I jump the train again and cut out a 1/2 pill again. EEKS. I am scared!!! Seems like I will be going through the depression even worse?!!!! I can't believe how frightenign just cutting down 1/2 pill is for me. SILLY!!!!

Just wish there was something I could take for my pain!!!! As it is ten fold now. I couldn't even walk last night because of my chronic pain. What a cycle!! Pain but can't take more meds then depression because of pain and then more depression/anxiety because pain and w/d at the same damn time. UGHHH!!

I am going to get some epsom salt and see if I can walk again doing that.
Its weird I have no restless leg syndrome like I had when I tried to kick it cold turkey but.... I am taking a product called natural calm and rescue remedy. Natural calm is magnesium citrate and it works AWESOME!!!! just thought I would share. It also helps with stress. I divide my dose.

Thinking of all you out there that are suffering. wish I could just give ya a big hug as I know this is PURE HELL that noone unless they have gone though it can understand.
I am so glad I am tapering though. there is NOOOO way I am as brave as some of you out there. Keep up the good work.

lookingforhealth- day 5 now so how do you feel? any better? worse? are you tram free or just tapering?

best of luck to all of you,




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by lookingforhealth, Aug 13, 2010
TRam free 5 days.  Today is much better then yesterday.  Thank God.  I am going to keep myself busy busy busy!!  This weekend is a true test.  Husband home all weekend.  And house hunting as well.  I won't be able to log in!!  This support means the world to me.  

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by Petermac, Aug 13, 2010
Here it is, day 14! It' getting a little better every day, just like everyone said it would. Just the realization that my life is not being controlled by tramadol anymore has got to be one of the most liberating feelings I've ever felt. It's like a small pilot light that had gone out in my soul, but it is lit now, and I draw strength from it.
  I'm so thankful for these boards and for all I've learned about this w/d process. Accepting the fact that recovery, the good and the bad aspects will happen randomly and not progressively (for the most part) has helped me to roll with it and not give up.
     Like so many others, tram was for me almost a miracle, at first, everything good rolled into a little pill. The first 2 or 3 years were good, but it turned on me, and I became a slave to it, and had to have it, just to get up in the morning and get to sleep at night. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would need it till until I died, that life would be too hard without it.
     I went c/t from 8 or 9 50mg a day and the first 3 to 5 days are now just a blurry, hellish memory. But I made it through them and it was worth it. I'll never go back.
     I hope and pray this post I've written can help somebody.
    P.s.- google soap+rls for something that might help with the AWFUL restless legs

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by KRISTIN_59, Aug 13, 2010
Hi,  

This is my first post and I guess I'm not a lurker because I only found this site yesterday. I feel lucky because I was only takeing two 50 mg pills a day, about 3 out of every 5 days( for about a year).  What made me finally realize there was a problem was the horrible depression I would feel on those days off.  I started taking the pills for neck pain (it was much easier than doing all those exercises I learned at the physical therapist) but quickly realized I was taking it because it took my depression away and made me want to get up and do stuff!!  I have always had low grade depression that would get worse in the winter and worse if I quit exercising. When I noticed the horrible depression after being off the pills for only a day or 2 then I did some research and realized I was making my self go thru WD once or twice a week.

  Now my choice is between going back to being mildly depressed most of the time...or ok %50 percent of the time and profoundly depressed the other %50 percent of the time.  I say only "ok" because the tram wasn't working as well as it used to. I knew I wanted to up to dose and know enough about addiction to realize what was happening.

I am lazy and don't want to do the things I need to do to deal with my depression.  Before I got on the Tram I was planning on trying light therapy this coming winter.  I also quit riding bicycles 3 years ago when I got married...I could start that again with or without my husband.

This whole thing is about depression for me. Isn't this a wicked drug. To start taking it because it removes the depression...only to have it make that worse in the end.

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by howcouldiknow88, Aug 13, 2010
Welcome, KRISTIN_59!

And I am glad you have joined the community. You have only been on tramadol for about a year, right? And only 3 days a week? You may be able to get off lucky if you stop now!

Many people who have used tramadol to treat depression get weaned off and try Effexor (venlafaxine). Because venlafaxine and tramadol are almost identical on a chemical level. They are related. And many who go from tramadol to venlafaxine report great results in controlling their depression.

Be warned, Effexor (venlafaxine) causes dependency like tramadol does, when used for long-term treatment.

I'd be interested in hearing more of your story. I wish I found this community my first year in. I have been using tramadol since summer 2003. I quit cold-turkey twice since I have been on this community in December 2009, but have relapsed both times. I recently relapsed again. I'm not dependent again yet, but I'm still dumb enough to keep taking tramadol so I can be dependent again. :-(

Maybe I should get off the tramadol again and try out Effexor (venlafaxine). It could help prevent future relapse.

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by KRISTIN_59, Aug 13, 2010
Thanks for the welcome.

I will tell you a little of my story now as it pertains to addiction...because this is all about addiction for me. I am a compulsive overeater who has managed to tame that awful demon with the help of OA. I started the deal with food when I was a teenager and am 51 now. I also havd dabled in other things, various drugs and alcohol, over the years. Speed was one of my favorites in college because it got rid of depression.  I really have gotten better over the years, happier, healthier, and more aware of what addiction is and what it looks like. My sister is also in OA and my brother is in NA.  I new what I was doing from the start with tramadol, but since the only official addiction I have admitted to publically is food, and it was prescribed, then I was ok. But I really know better. I have sat in tooooo many AA and OA meetings over the years to deny it to myself. This is just another addiction to me.

And I need to look at what I just wrote..I was getting better over the years. I was healthier, happier. I was in a little dip with my depression because I quit exercising. I had a plan for how to deal with my depression for the upcoming winter (light therapy). And then I started with the tramadol. Now I feel my depression is the thing I am running from. But it really wasn't that bad...I had just become lazy.

I haven't had any for 3 days now. I feel low but suddenly don't think it is hopeless. Of course, I'm not going to start riding my bike until this freaking 100+ degree heat wave lets up. I am going to walk on my lunch break today.

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by james22778, Aug 13, 2010
hey their you are well on your way to getting better 3 days out might not seem like much to some but to me it was like a lifetime good luck to you

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by ladylisa109, Aug 13, 2010
Getting to the end of my 4th day Tram free and dare I say I am seeing improvement.  I wanted to post about it earlier but was afraid because I didn't want to jinx myself lol.  I actually slept some last night don't know if it was the muscle relaxer I took at 10pm or just the horrible drug getting out of my system but it was truely Heaven sent for sure.  I took the muscle relaxer around 10pm  and by Midnight wasn't seeing much improvement but took a hot shower got a little to eat and did some MAJOR praying and around 3:30 this morning I fell asleep and slept till 7am.  I woke up sore as all get out, that might be the w/d still or my RA flaring or possibly both but it was okay because my legs were NOT twitching for once!  I about started to cry I was so happy.  I was still pretty tired so I took some Advil and heading back to bed and slept from about 8-10:30am.  I HAD to get out of the house today and run some errands but luckily my fiance is off today and through Monday and he drove me and the kiddos.  I felt out of sorts still....the only way I can decribe it as feeling Raw, like my nerves were exposed some.  It wasn't horrible just uncomfortable but I over did it some.  We ran by Wal-Mart, a big mistake I realize now but its the closest and cheapest place to go around here.  We just picked up a few things and weren't there long but by the time we got out of there I was about ready to fall over.  Got home and rested and ate something and was just lying down a little then started get mild RLS  nothing like the first 3 days but enough to worry me and to kick myself for overdoing it.  But waking up this morning with the improvements I saw really did help to steal my resolve NEVER to take that horrible nasty monster of a pill EVER again.  My RA pain prior to taking tram had NOTHING on these horrible w/d's.  One decent effect from all of this is I have lost about 15lbs in the past 5 days lol.  But I would have much rather have lost some weight the normal and sane way.  Thank you so much EVERYONE for your suggestions and encouragement.  I really feel this message board was my life line through the hell of the past few days.  You all kept me reassured what I was experiencing was normal and would improve and I just kept holding on to that...again Thank you.  I will keep posting and updating.  I just feel like I can't keep saying thank you enough to everyone here ... you are wonderful people.  Blessings and hoping all have a quiet night, Lisa

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by ladylisa109, Aug 14, 2010
Seems like its quiet around for the weekend but that is okay, hoping everyone is fairing well.  Getting to the end of my 5th Tram free day and was not a happy camper last night for sure :o(  While it was nowhere near as bad as the first 3 nights that damned old RLS made it self known again.   Didn't finally really go to sleep for any amount of time till about 6am.  Thankfully my wonderful family just let me be and veg and sleep most of the day.   My fiance took the kiddos out in the yard to play in the sprinkler and eat watermelon this afternoon while I was resting.  I know he is doing the best he knows how and he is wonderful but I feel so terribly guilty for not being there and missing it.  My nerves are still feeling a bit raw and everthing seems a little too bright and too loud but not unbearable.  My stomach now feels like I pulled a muscle or something but after reading back in some of the older post I know its just another nasty little WD present and its tolerable.  I praying hard right now for little by little improvement the next couple of days because I unfortunately have a full plate next week getting my kiddos ready for school that I CAN'T put off or have someone else do for me.  I will keep updating and checking in and I hope this weekend finds your feeling a little better and little happier.  Thank you all for you continued support and encouragement.  Blessings, Lisa

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 15, 2010
Hang tough warriors...on the road...109 days today...i found a Tramadol in one of my old makeup bags out here..one little tramadol..no harm right???  WRONG...flushing it as we speak..
Love and strength to all ..will catch up when i am back...
Blessings.
Pat

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by LeaAnn807, Aug 15, 2010
Ms. Pat, you're going to catch me before long!!!  Congrats on the 109!  And way to go with the little devil pill!  I knew you would be strong.  : D

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by james22778, Aug 15, 2010
hey their congradts on making it this far keep going and you can make it congrads to you also ms pat you all are doing great

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by fightorfight, Aug 15, 2010
Hey guys, I'm baaaack.

I wish it could be on better circumstances.   I was prescribed Tram (same little white pills I spent a month battling in April) a month ago for a honest to goodness problem with my stomach (cyst).  I'm waiting on my employer to get me into their health insurance coverage before I can get the, minor, surgery to get it taken care of... and as I picked up the bottle today (Been doing good, only taking as prescribed, 2-3 50s a day.)--- I had the exact same feeling I did back in april.   That immediate dread that I was soon going to be without pills that made me functional.

I'm not going to refill this.   If my mind is already under the Tram spell again, I can only imagine that my body is there too. I'm sort of in a conundrum this time though.    While my dose isn't high, and I've only been on them a month, I'm sure my body will be more than happy to replicate my WDs again, considering it just got done with them.  The pain and bowel problems from the cyst are real, and I can't take over the counter stuff like advil anymore to help, as it aggravates it and causes bleeding.  I also have to keep showing up to work, downsizing and hour changes require that I be there (and on point) and basically interview for a full time job every day that I'm there.

I have an appointment with my doctor on tuesday, and I'll try to explain the situation then-- but just wanted to come back and vent.  How in the world I got here..again!  Ugh, I'm making myself sick.

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by james22778, Aug 15, 2010
hey their fightorfight good luck to you it is very easy to fall back into the trap and into the same routine we were in before we quit before so good luck to you i think your doing the right thing

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by E_Streete, Aug 15, 2010
Hello All,

Well, I blogged on here back in January 2010 about Tram and the hell it was causing me. I'm over 6 months Tram free and life has been back to normal for awhile now, so there is light @ the end of this hell tunnel. After the first week, my life was 85% of the way back. After the second week, I was back! After taking Tram anywhere between 5 to 8 50mg pills a day for 16 months for ulcers. I have a close friend who takes Tram once every week or so but when I see those little devil pills, I get the shakes just thinking about the W/D I went through. I rather deal with any pain that comes my way than to EVER take Tram again. Be strong everyone, YOU WILL GET YOUR LIFE BACK AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR REASONS FOR SMILING AT LIFE AGAIN, I PROMISE THAT!!!

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by ladylisa109, Aug 15, 2010
Okay here I am day 6 Tram free.  Feel quite a bit better than those first 3 hellish days but definately no where near normal.  Feel very sluggish and I wear out quickly when I try to do stuff and don't have much ambition either but I HAVE to get back to my daily routine some because I have a family counting on me.  I feel agitated from time to time and everything seems a bit magnified still like light and sound.  Also, some of the depression others have spoke of has come around too.  I have had depression problems from time to time since I was in my early 20's (I am 41 now).  When I started taking Tramadol I was also currently on a 25mg a day maintainence dose of Zoloft.  After a few monthes on the Tram I didn't feel a need for the Zoloft anymore and tapered off of them.  I had NO idea that the Tram. also contained an antidepressent nor did my doctor or pharmacy tell me.  Now I am worried the nasty depression I was dealing with before the Tram will return and I will have to go back on Zoloft.  I would really like to stay as drug free as I can.  I guess I will just have to wait it out and see.  Well I have some household things to get done so I will finish up for now.  Thank you all again for everything and I will continue to post and update.  Blessings all, Lisa

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by Petermac, Aug 15, 2010
Ladylisa I can relate to your concerns, I believe mine are similar. I'm on day 16, and it has been getting a little better, but I'm starting to have a rough time with the depression, it wasn't that bad the first 13 or 14 days, but it is really coming on me heavy at times. I had been taking tramadol for 4 years, I was averaging 8 per day. It amazes me I didn't get up to a much higher daily dose what with my very addictive personality and I am so thankful for that. I had nine days off from work and went off c/t. No need for me to describe how bad the withdrawals were, you already know all too well.
    So, to get to the point, I remember being depressed before I started taking the tram, but the depression lifted as soon as I started taking it. That's one of the many reasons I continued taking it. I wonder now, just how much better my days will continue to get? As the drug and it's effects leave my body, I've been told my brain will begin healing itself and I believe that. But will my healing stop when my brain returns to it's pre-tramadol condition? I hope not. But even if it turns out that way i'll have to deal with it.
     Im also hoping this concern is just another of this drugs many lies it had fed to me over the years and which I ended up believing. I want to say that since quitting I've found so many things that I was told by tramadol wouldn't be good or enjoyable without using have been very good and enjoyable. I hope this fear of returning to a depressed state is another of it's lies.
     In closing, I need to say that I've been smoking mariuana daily for about a year. (I'm 50 years old my wife of 32 years and I have been smoking it on and off, mostly on, since we got married in high school)  we both are ready to stop, I needed to stop the tram first though, and it feels good to be able to say I have.



                         Fellow tramadol compadres, stay strong and be easy on yourself

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by madtram, Aug 15, 2010
Glad tidings my brothers & sisters in arms. Looks like you warriors are well on the way to knocking down the enemy & winning this war once & for all.

Blessed Mommy, I would taper as slowly as you need to at this point, if you feel too much discomfort, just slow up your taper & hold your dose for a few more days.  This will be the least stressful for bub, as well.

I don't know what sort of pain you have but there are some natural remedies worth trying for inflammatory disorders like rheumatoid arthritis.  Have you tried any of the following: d-phenylalanine, (amino acid, not the same as DLPA); capsaicin cream; curcumin, (extract of the turmeric spice); or fish oil?  Each of these have medical research behind them & can be taken during pregnancy.

Petermac, at day 16, it's still early days for your neurotransmitters coming off tram but it's natural to be concerned about depression.  I'm sure you know that mj can cause/ exacerbate depression in some people & will also have had an impact on your brain wiring if you started smoking in high school.  You obviously have strong willpower, having quit the tram c/t but be kind to yourself; if you need to rely on an antidepressant to wean you off the mj, that wouldn't be surprising.

For those who have tried lots of alternatives to treat their depression & keep finding themselves back on the tram, IMO, there are worse things than using effexor.  As How could I, has identified, it's true that it's one of the hardest ADs to get off & needs to be tapered from but it doesn't have the complication of the opioid ingredient that leads to tolerance with tramadol.

Sometimes we just need a bit of a boost to get us going with the side effect free ways of treating depression, including cognitive behaviour therapy; exercise; meditation etc.  All of these are the way to go, but until you have enough drive to get off the couch, trying these therapies can feel like running a marathon.

If your depression is milder, I would encourage you to try a good quality supplement, (price is one guide but not an absolute one), such as St John's Wort or 5htp before going back to pharmaceuticals.

For anxiety, a study has just come out establishing that inhaling full strength jasmine oil, (very expensive & quite hard to get but you only need a few drops per day), is as effective as valium.  I am going to try this myself for sleep so will report back.

Fight, I hope you get let off the full withdrawals & you can get your surgery done soonest.



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by blessedmommy8, Aug 16, 2010
madtram-
thank you for the encouragement. I am still steady at 2 a day now. I had to decide if it was better to be depressed and in major pain where I am crying or lower my dose. I chose to wait until tomorrow to lower my dose again. I am thinking of doing 1/4 of a pill. I am not have severe w/d symptoms just some depression with anxiety.
I have disk degnerative disease in my back and scoliosis. Been on this stuff for ALONG time.
I am wondering if I can take 5 htp and st johns wort to word off the depression because honestly the TOTAL lack of energy, no sleep because baby kicking me and in pain and some minor anxiety every now and then is really all the w/d symptoms I have.
Does anyone know about those natural supplemnets. My doctor is on vacation for the next 3-4 weeks so I can't ask him until he gets back. shoulda asked him before.
I may call my kids naturpath and ask.

day 4-5 were nasty for depression. Day 6-7 were better. Today I had depression in the am but seems better now. so anyway I am holding out at 2 a day still. 1/2, 1/2, 1/2 and 1/2 divided dosages.
I have talked to a couple moms who were on this their whole pregnancy and their babies didn't have w/d symptoms at birth and they were taking up to 4 a day. So I am hoping the same for me. But I still want to break this as a just in case.

Then decide what to do with my pain control after baby. UGHHH.

Anyone know about 5 htp or st johns wort or how about the L-tyrosone that gives you energy?
Thanks all,



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by lookingforhealth, Aug 16, 2010
Bleesedmommy8,  I think your doing a great job.  Just do what you can!!  

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by Evie1029, Aug 16, 2010
Hi Blessedmommy, I'm pregnant too and in the process of tapering off of tram.  I started at 6-8 50mg/ per  day and am now down to 1 pill a day.  Your dosing schedule is about the same as what I've been doing except once I began taking less than 2 pills a day I cut the trams into fourths and gradually replaced the 25mg halves with the 12.5mg quarter pieces in my dosing schedule.  I thought the w/d would be less pronounced if I got my body used to getting no more than 12.5 mg per dose rather than taking 25mg/2xday or 50mg/1xday.  

Btw, I am a longtime lurker on this page.  I've been following since March after finding out I
was pg.  All the advice and encouragement on this site has just been incredible, I seriously doubt that I could've gotten this far on my own.  And you all are just meeting me now!  A big heartfelt thank you to all you regulars, your posts have helped me tremendously.

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by bethwillprevail, Aug 16, 2010
Hi everyone-

I am back and I hate to say it but back on the trams.  I will tell you my story and I hope that it will help just one person get rid of these pills from their homes- the flushing is very important!!  I was off for a while in May (posted here then) after taking them for 10 yrs.  The WD was terrible.  I was taking about 250 mg per day then.  My husband has also been taking them- we get them off the internet.  Being depressed, I decided one day to just take 1/4 of one to perk me up, thinking I would not take any more- what a joke!!  I just kept on taking them again.  I guess the only good thing about this is that I was only taking about 75 mg per day this time.  So now I am tapering again- at 50 mg and hopefully I can be at zero by about Sunday.  The real story here though is that my husband and I are splitting up after 30 yrs of marriage.  I truly believe this addiction has played a huge role in our issues.  If you can just take a pill and feel better and not deal with things that come at you in life- it's just easier that way.  Well, I am done with living that way.  I do not believe in divorce at all, and have tried so many things the last few yrs, but the addictions have destroyed things.  He is not willing to give them up.  I have many blessings and many friends and family who will help me.  But for now I know I must go to the MD and get an antidepressant to get me thru all this and to help me not go back on the trams.  I feel the antidepressant effects of the trams is the thing that I really need.  Thats what started me back again.  So I am humbled and will go get the help I need to get better.  Wow-  I dont want to depress everyone, but I just hope everyone realizes what this drug can do.  Deal with your issues- dont take pills!!!  They will destroy you and the ones you love.  It's not worth it.

Love to everyone here.

Beth

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by booba77, Aug 16, 2010
Beth~I relapsed as well, twice over the past couple of weekends.  I went to the doc today and got wellbutrin.  I too am really depressed and need something to get me by so I don't take trams.  Be strong.  You can do this.  I havent been on them regularly, just some last weekend and the weekend before  I sure hope the wellbutrin helps me heal so I dont crave the trams too badly. Good luck all.  Welcome Evie and Mommy.  I get so excited when lurkers come out and post.  there is strength in numbers, my friends.  Good to see you again Beth.  You can do this.  There is no shame in getting on an AD.  Anything to help keep away from the evil trams.

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by bethwillprevail, Aug 16, 2010
Thanks Booba for the encouragement.  Welbutrin seems like a good choice for many.  I have talked with others who say it really helped them.  I will try until I can get one that works well for me.  We will see what the doc says.  You guys are wonderful.  I am in awe of those of you who stay on this blog to help others.  You all are truly heros.

I wonder how I can find a doctor who will understand this problem?  Wish I had one.  I am going to go to my regular doctor, but I am not sure how he will react to my issues.  I am sure he will just give me whatever I ask for.  How weird is that??  He is a nice guy, but I always feel like he is asking ME to diagnose what I need.  

Beth

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by booba77, Aug 16, 2010
Beth~I think it is best to be honest with the doc.  I of course did not tell the doc about the trams, and I have only been honest with one doc about my tram use, which was after my seizure.  I am just so scared to tell anyone but you guys. You are the only ones that know.  Today is my first day of the wellbutrin.  I take one a day for a week then go 2 a day for awhile before my recheck.  We will see how it goes.  I know it takes a while to get into your system.  Good luck to you.  I am ashamed to have relapsed but I think coming back here and staying on this site helps more than anything.  I could not have done this without everyones support.  I love you guys.  Stay strong.

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by james22778, Aug 16, 2010
good evening everyone i hope everybody had a good day beth i hope you had some luck with the doctor today just do what ever you need to do to stay clean booba its really easy to fall back into the old ways of taking more and more it all starts with just one or a half a one like i did and it didnt take long to be right back where i was before but good luck to you i am pulling for everyone to beat this

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by gunitbot6, Aug 16, 2010
hi does anybody know what ever happened to anonguy2 he was on here until day 30 of his withdrawals then he never came back. i really follow his posts so im curious

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by gunitbot6, Aug 16, 2010
I am new here, and i just want to say im on day 31 of Tramadol withdrawals cold turkey. and this is not the first time. Last time i went 31 days exactly and the only reason i got back on Tramadol is because i  though no way the withdrawals should last this long, i though i was doomed to eternal pain that i was in from the withdrawals unles i took tramadol. Then i saw about 4-5 people whos withdrawals lasted from 1-2 months. So now i know it will probably go away , but not in just 31 days.Im expecting for my withdrawal symptoms to go away in 15-30 more days. I only have two withdrawal symptoms now that are really interfering in my life. #1 my lower back hurts, its like a restless back fealing This prevents me from falling asleep, i could never fall asleep before 3:00am, My pain magically goes away around that time. and i feal a piece coming over me  and fall asleep. #2 i am extremely tired throgh out the day, and getting through work is 5 times harder then normal.I haven't seen to many people on here whos withdrawals last longer then  a month, most people  get better within 3 weeks form what i have read. . i want  to go to college and i want to start working out but not with the systems i have and the lack of sleep, it will all be 5 times harder.

thank you for reading, i just wanted to share

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by ladylisa109, Aug 16, 2010
I am finishing up my 7th Tram free day and its going okay.  I still have stomache issues and some aches.  The RLS has settled down quite a bit but sometimes acts up when I am trying to sleep.  Most of those things are bearable and quite a bit better from the first few days.  What is getting to be most now is the depression and total lack of energy.  I am going to pick up the St Johns Wort and some multi-vitamins Wed. when I have the money and give them a go for a couple of weeks.  I guess if I don't see any improvemnt after a few weeks I may have to bite the bullet and go see my family Dr. about getting BACK on the AD I was taking before the Tram.  I use to take Zoloft before for moderate depression and it worked great for me but I was really want to try and get by chemical free for once.  I feel my old self still inside wanting to get out but it seems like the fog of depression is trying to keep it down.  While I have had fleeting thoughts of taking Tram again they are only fleeting right now thank goodness.  I am really tired out right now so I think I may try and get some rest.  Take care all and thank you again and again.  I will continue to post and update.  Blessings to all, Lisa

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by gunitbot6, Aug 16, 2010
lady lisa i know what you mean by tired and unmotivated, i dont want to scare you but ive been of tram for 31 days and every single day i feal weak , very tired. hopefully it will end quicker for you then its been going for me

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by harmony986, Aug 17, 2010
Does anyone understand why tram actually gives you energy?  I understand the depression part because of its effects on neurotransmitters, but do not understand the energy part.  

I feel that the drug had ruined my thyroid and am still in the process of figuring out my thyroid hormone dosing and wondering if anyone else returned their energy thru thyroid and adrenal support.

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by KRISTIN_59, Aug 17, 2010
I don't know why tram gives me energy. It is kinda of like speed that way.  I am still off tram now for about a week. It has been good for me to read these posts becasue I am still carrying my bottle of pills around with me like always. I hadn't really been tempted to take them because they were making me feel so bad as soon as the little high wore off. But I had, had the thought that I might use them in an emergency in the future it I needed them. So maybe I will flush them.

I have a delima. I will call it my Tram Garage Sale delima.  This past spring, I started planning a garage sale. I started collecting my stuff, my kids stuff, my kids stuff from their dad's house (they are both in college now). A girlfriend moved and she gave me her stuff.  Now I have all this stuff in neat piles, all over my house and garage....waiting to be sorted and priced. I kept putting the sale off because of one reason or another and now it is too hot.  Oh yea, and now I'M NOT ON TRAM!!! I don't have the will or energy to go thru with this.  My advice...don't quit tram until after the garage sale.

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by james22778, Aug 17, 2010
i dont know why the trams gave me energy either but i can tell you this i miss the energy i had while taking them

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by bethwillprevail, Aug 17, 2010
I would take all the Garage Sale stuff to a thrift store and forget it.  :)  Just get it out of there and move on.  The Trams do give you energy, but they also cause a lack of focus and for me a lack of concentration.  Somehow, we all need to get past the lack of energy issues!!  It's hard.  I think truly for me it is the depression that ***** out the energy.  Go to the thrift store Kristin!!  Goodwill will love you.

Beth

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by LivingnPresent, Aug 17, 2010
James..thank you for all your recent posts...I see you are sharing a lot..and I just wanted to say "thanks"...God knows we all need encouragement - and you are so encouraging to everyone..
Peace n hugs..
Pat

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 17, 2010
lack of focus and for me a lack of concentration....Exact same thing for me!!!!

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by LeaAnn807, Aug 17, 2010
Hey! I just got tickled reading the posts about energy.  I'm kinda weird about keeping my house clean.  Not like OCD clean, but I like it clean.  When I was on tram, it shined like new money!!!  Yesterday morning, I walked by a big lamp in my living room, and there was something on it that looked straight out of the Halloween Decoration isle!!!  Charlotte had been to visit, and I had not even noticed it nor cared I guess!!!  I'll take that over getting back on tram anyday!!!!!

The focus and energy and concentration come back.  You may have to "practice" for short intervals of time until it gets easy and comes naturally again.  Just decide to concentrate on something you need to do for a few minutes and then give yourself a break.  I did that with housework, laundry etc in the beginning!  It gets so much easier!!!

Hugs to you all!!! : )

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by madtram, Aug 17, 2010
The tram increases the noradrenalin circulating in your brain.  Noradrenalin is the fight or flight neurotransmitter in the same way that adrenalin acts hormonally.  This effect combined with the opioid does seem to give us extra energy until the tolerance kicks in  & then we need to keep taking drugs just to feel normal.

i was lousy at pushing myself through the slump so this is do as i say not as I did, but I have to agree with t-hater - your best bet is to act as if u have energy.  Maybe pretend u are in a movie playing the role of Angelina in tomb raider or whatever high energy super hero type works for u.  Yes I know it may take a lot of imagination.

No matter what, each & every one of you will recover your energy, although it's tough now, I can promise u that your day will come.

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by james22778, Aug 17, 2010
hey their thanks tram and mad i know it will get better and i know it takes time but dang it i dont want to wait lol your more than welcome pat i need all the help i can get also hope everyone has a great nite

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by amerra2, Aug 17, 2010
hi folks i was perscribed tramadol a few years back and i took more than i should of.On purpose not to top myself or anything just for the high.WELL let me tell you i nearly slipped into a coma i dont know how i stopped myself.I called an ambulance and could not remember my address i had to ask my 8 yr old son.it was scary never again that was enough not to touch them again.Take care

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by fightorfight, Aug 17, 2010
If you would see the list of all the things that Tram effects (subtly mind you), you'd be amazed.   The energy thing comes from the noradrenaline and compounded dopamine buzz that you get from the opiate side of the drug.   This is increased if you have a specific enzyme in your system that breaks down the compound into its metabolite, O-Desmethyltramadol.  Strangely enough, if your body has that enzyme You'll get more of the euphoria and drive.    You could think of it the same way as someone who would be on an amphetamine,  rapid dopamine release plus the addition of SNRI makes it pretty potent stuff.

Here is a tip:  There are a few medications out there that bind and use that liver enzyme, CYP2D6.  Three of the big SSRIs for depression (Prozac, Zoloft, and Celexa), beta blockers (Like Inderal, or Clonidine)  a few of the antipsychotics, and to a lesser degree Amphetamine and Cocaine(!?).  I've read a few places where people have used Prozac or Celexa after the initial acute w/ds (from Tram or Amps) to use that enzyme and prevent themselves from falling off the wagon.  Essentially its the equivalent of a suboxone for the antidepressant qualities of the drug-- as if there is no vector, the tram can't be metabolized and you're left with a less potent (and less addictive) effect from the drug.  

As far as energy, you're dealing with three different reasons (or more) that you're in the lurch.  1: General withdrawal malaise, which you can't escape-- you can tone it down, but nothing will heal this one except for time, or another opiate (which I can't  recommend).  2: Antidepressant withdrawal, which lasts longer but is less pronounced, its the same reason people have a huge issue getting off Effexor, anything that his serotonin and noradrenaline will essentially stop your body from producing these transmitters on their own.  Taking a vitamin that has more of those precursors (Biotin, Tyrosine, Vitamin C and B) and exercising (So your body starts to produce them again out of necessity) will help.  3: Poor nutrition.  I know what you're thinking, yada yada yada.. but when you were taking, when was the last time that you ate three squares? I know when I was I didn't eat much at all, Tram masks a lot of wrongs due to that bit of negligence.

In any case, time is the biggest factor, but spurring your body on to start acting right a little ahead of the curve certainly wont hurt.     I'm on Day 2 of my mini-withdrawal (I hope!) and aside from an unbelievably intense bout of hot and cold,sweating, and anxiety last night-- I'm doing alright.

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by ladylisa109, Aug 17, 2010
I am glad to see everyone seems to be hanging in there so far this week.  I am finishing up day 8 Tram free and holding my own.  Of course like several others here I am dealing with and getting frustrated with the lack of energy and depression.  I probably wouldn't be quite as concerned with it if I didn't have so much to complete this week.  Tomorrow I HAVE to take my 3 kiddos for school clothes and supplies....no way around it at all.  To be quite honest I am a little scared since my focus seems off.  My oldest daughter who is 13 is aware to an extent what is going on with me.  She knows that I stopped taking one of my medications for my RA and it is making me feel pretty rough getting it out of my system.  But I also explained to her that in the long run it will be better because hopefully her "old" Mom with be back.  She has been EXTREMELY understanding and helpful the past week and my fiance and I were actually joking this evening that because of how wonderful she is that we need to start saving now to buy that girl a great first car when she hits 16 lol.  I talked to her this evening and told her that my energy level was still major low so we were gonna have to try and keep it short tomorrow morning and then maybe come home and finish up in the evening when we can leave my 4 yr old at home with Dad.  I also asked for her help keeping track of him in the morning at the stores because I am terrified with my lack of focus of lossing him in a store or something.   Thursday I have to take my oldest to the dr. for a check up first thing in the morning then to her school for a mini band camp thing then pick up her schedule and that evening is my middle daughter's school open house when she meets her teacher.  Omg.....just thinking about it practically gives me a mini panic attack.  
This evening after dinner I was clearing the table and my back and knees were aching some and I absently thought "oooppss time to take some of my meds!"  Of course I reminded my self I no longer take poison anymore.   Well, everyone wish me a TON of luck tomorrow and some prayers couldn't hurt either that I make it through the day without falling apart.  Take care all and thank you to everyone.   Blessings, Lisa

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by gunitbot6, Aug 18, 2010
http://wwwbodyhealthcom/html/nrg/ingredients.asp this is a good webisght for energy from withdrwals

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by ihtp, Aug 18, 2010
I don't know what to do because I have RSD and orthopedic issues and I NEED pain control but I am sick of meds. I have never taken high doses....typically one 100mg ER a day. There was a period I was up to 3 (max dose) because I had to switch brands and the new one wasn't as effective...but I decided to reduce back down to one pill a day slowly and had bad withdrawal just doing that. I ended up in the ER because I couldn't stand the pain and twitching.

I am still taking one 100mg ER a day. In the past I could start and stop it at will with no problems but for some reason now I have BAD withdrawal with it.

So at this point I am on it half for pain control (it does work better than vicodin etc) and half because I don't want to have withdrawal.  I have tried all the other decent options for pain and nothing works without making me miserable in some way or another. My doc added one 10mg vicodin a day but after a month or so of it not really helping only making me high I stopped and am still having withdrawal from it (loose stools, insomnia etc) and I am STILL on the tramadol. So just adding ONE vicodin for such a short time was enough to put me into withdrawal when quitting. Everyone says it's impossible.

I have thought to try another SSRI and then taper off the tramadol....hoping to avoid the massive psych effects...but SSRIs never helped a whole lot in the past. Plus what to do about pain? It seems everything out there for pain is horrible. Even lyrica has sucky side effects and bad withdrawal often.

I am miserable.

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by madtram, Aug 18, 2010
Sorry that you have to be here, ihtp but it's likely that tramadol has turned on you in the way that it tends to do which means that you may find yourself increasing your dose just to feel normal.

Tramadol changed my body's reaction to opiates so that even now 2 years out from tramadol, I had withdrawals after taking 10mgs of codeine for a few days.

Have you tried the antidepressant Effexor which is structurally identical to the antidepressant in tramadol?  It can also require a very slow taper if you want to come off it but it doesn't have the tolerance problems of tramadol so if it suits you, it's ok for long term use.  Some people find  the NARI/SSRI combo in effexor helps with pain.

Lisa, sending you some extra strength for your schedule tomorrow.

James, glad you are keeping the faith.  Much of the time, I couldn't believe that one stupid lousy pill could cause so much havoc & thought there must be something else going on.    I think I worked my way through every known alternative remedy as I could keep my hopes up as long as there was something I could still try.

Best to all,
M

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by ihtp, Aug 18, 2010
Madtram yes I have tried SSNRIs in the past....never worked for me and make me miserable...usually totally wired.  SSRIs either did nothing or made me a slug or in the case of Lexapro made me a raging jerk. I was so quick to anger on it and only realized how bad it affected me when I quit. I stopped cold turkey and had bowel probs for a week and that was it.

It SEEMS like tramadol is the best option for me....and the reason I settled on it is because of everything I have taken it has the most affect for the least side effects. I take 100mg tramadol in the morning and 10mg ambien at night and have for 3 years or so. I tried higher doses but got no more relief but DID get side effects so I found my sweet spot. It only reduces the pain most days maybe 30% but again...better than anything else for the least side effects.

For some weird reason that I cannot get any doc to pursue the Ambien helps my pain a LOT. The problem is it is so short acting.

I probably wouldn't even be posting here if I didnt have the problem with the brand change and withdrawals....it scared me badly. But I don't know what to do about it. Should I just stay with what I am doing and if something better comes along deal with this withdrawal issue then?

I do not have and have never had cravings for higher doses. The only reason I regrettably increased it recently was the doctor said to since the new brand wasnt as effective and I cannot get the old brand anymore. Big mistake.

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by ihtp, Aug 18, 2010
Sorry I cannot edit posts....the "taking it for kicks" comment sounded bad when I reread it. What I was getting at is a lot of people here seem to be taking it at very high doses because they need it for how it makes them feel or to avoid withdrawing even though they don't have the prescribed condition anymore....I NEED something for severe pain. As miserable as the meds can be before I took it I was in more pain that I could ever imagine. Thats what I was getting at...not trying to belittle anyone because believe me I know how miserable the withdrawals are now.

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by madtram, Aug 18, 2010
Few of us here, (if any), would judge anyone else's assessment of their pain.  My only concern for you is that some time down the track, you will find yourself in a worse position because of the tolerance effect of tramadol.

Tolerance is different to cravings & addiction.  I was on tram for 5 years for trigeminal neuralgia & I never craved it or increased my prescribed dose over that time.  However for around half of that time, I was in constant withdrawal from not increasing my dose.  I regularly felt unwell & ended up on prescription sleeping meds, (another big problem I had to get over), to treat the tramadol related insomnia.

My story is more common than not, at a certain point, (when depends on individual biochemistry), tramadol tolerance seems to leave people staying at their prescribed dose & feeling unwell or upping their dose to avoid withdrawals.

If you read back far enough, you will come across people who have had severe pain, (including our journal host) & chronic pain conditions & have come to believe that tramadol made their pain worse.  People who have no history of addiction have had problems with tramadol.

It's very tough when you have found nothing else that works for you & if you have been on the same dose for many years, perhaps you will be one of the lucky ones who doesn't get horrible withdrawal side effects while still on tramadol.

Best wishes.

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by james22778, Aug 18, 2010
good luck to you dealing with your pain i have it also but i would rather fell pain then have to depend on a little wite pill day in and day out but i do understand i have had pain so bad i would of rather died than put up with it so i do understand i hope the best for you and good luck to everyone here good nite to all

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by ladylisa109, Aug 19, 2010
Justing finished up day 9 heading into day 10 Tram. free.  Feeling a bit better but sleep is still so messed up but that seems to be about status quo from all I have read on here.  I picked up 5htp, B12, a regular multi-vitamin and some St. Johns Wort today so I am going to give those a go and see how it works for me.  I survived my crazy day today barely lol.  By the time I got home I was ready to colapse.  Have a fairly busy day tomorrow and have to be out of the house by 8am so I am hoping the Excedrin PM I just took help at least a little with some sleep.  Right now I sleep for about an hour then  wake up and toss and turn for 2 and sleep another hour and well you get the picture.  Got home from all the running around and shopping and got the kids settled for the night and my fiance said well should we try and clean up a little since the house looked like a tornado hit.  I told him "It will still be here tomorrow....I need some rest" and he said it sounded good to him lol  he is a real sweetheart.  I feel like if I can get through this week and my older two started back to school on Monday I can take a little more time out to "heal" and adjust.   Any suggestions though for getting yourself relaxed at night to sleep besides hot bathes that is since I have the world smallest bathtubs?  I have read others post about having trouble sleeping due to racing thoughts and such.  Well the past two nights it seems to take me forever to finally fall asleep because I can't shut my brain up.  And if I wake during the night it starts all over again  blahhhhhhhh.   Also I am concerned about what to do if in the future I am faced with a need to take a precription pain med again such as injury, surgery or a major flare of my RA.  I will definately tell my Dr. that I have bad reactions with Tram so I wont take it.   I am just afraid to take ANY type of precription pain med now.   Well I think I may try and rest now and hopefully sleep.  Thank you all so very much for all the kinds words and encouragement and suggestions everyone have given me.  You guys have been life and sanity savers.  Take care and heres hoping everyone has a quiet restful night.  Blessings,  Lisa

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 19, 2010
How is everyone doing today?
HELP I can't seem to get past the 2 mark. I am taking 1/2 a pill 4 times daily and I am stuck.
The problem is my pain is so dang outa control that I can't do a thing and I have a farm and lots of children I don't have time to not do a thing. I cried yesterday morning my pain was so bad I almost threw up. What the heck!!!!!
I can't take advil because I am pg and it causes bleeding in baby tylonal is basically a placebo yet I am taking 3 extra strength a day I think it helps ever so slightly.
So today my plan is cut back by 1/4th in the evening when I don't have to do as much stuff.
So I will do 1/2 am, 1/2, at 9, 1/2 at 1 ish and 1/4 at 6 ish. That doesn't seem as scary for me. Do this for 4 days and do another 1/4. What do you think? I only have 5-6 weeks before baby comes and I want this crap outa my system 2 weeks before. Please tell me I can do it?!!
I am terrified to just go to 3 doses since I am so used to popping a pill 4 x a day. and am terrified of the depression as well.
I am finally coming out of the depression from like 9 days out of my last taper. Now I have to go through it again. EEKS.

Interesting thing though is I found a book at the library called The mood cure. It looks AWESOME and deals with pain pill addiction solutions too. Problem is I am pregnant so I probably can't take those things. UGHHH.
but when I am done looking it over I may have some tips for you guys to ease w/d and depression/anxiety. I am excited about it because I thought of going on effexor after baby but I may try this instead.
I have been on effexor before and it worked good other then the sexual side effects which REALLY sucked and nausea which is why I went off. But it did work good for depression/anxiety for me.

Does anyone know if you can take effexor while on small doses of tramadol? I thought of asking ob doctor for this but not sure about it and pregnancy and also since its related to tramadol would it be an issue.

I hope everyone is doing ok. I think of you guys daily as I SOOOO know the pain of this crap!!!

ps interestingly enough I have met a few woman on ultram in pregnancy and they were taking up to 4 a day and no w/d in baby at all. But I don't want to risk it. I would feel like crap the rest of my life. I wish my OB knew more about the effects of this. He just doesn';t have any patients taking it but me. :( Another doctor I talked to said its fine baby should not have any withdrawls. He said there was only one reported case. That surprises me. She was on 400 mg a day though. Any thoughts on this?

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by ladylisa109, Aug 19, 2010
Blessedmommy8 I was on Tram when I was pregnant with my youngest (he just turned 4).  My OB was okay with me staying on through out my preg. and I took one pill 4x a day then.  Granted I didn't know all the nasty stuff about it yet but to be honest I don't think I could have stoppped it totally then either.  He was born big and healthy with absolutely no WD or any problems at all.  While it would be best for you and your baby to get off of this medication as long as your OB is aware of it and your babies pedi. knows you had to take it through your pregnancy if your are not totally able to stop before your little one is born you shouldn't beat your self up about it.  I am no doctor but I would think you being on a small dose of it and being okay is better than you sick and in horrible shape because of the WDs.  This is just my opinion.  You know what is best for you and your family.  You seem to be just so hard on yourself right now and you shouldn't.  Take care and please keep your dr. aware of what all is going on because it could help you in the long run.  Blessings all!   Lisa

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by EmilyPost, Aug 19, 2010
Dear EmilyisPetty, (I think someone already used this troll name ... so I am assuming it's you ... AGAIN)

You will continue to be blocked and reported to MedHelp for abuse. So far you've created three different user names.

I'd advise you to stop before your actual IP address is blocked from the site.

But then, I'd also tell you to consider how much of your current behavior is Tramadol Related as well. As you were informed, we're not Doctors. We do not advise people as to which drugs to use. But it's incredibly apparent that you need help.

I will continue to block you and delete your comments, until Med-Help deletes your IP.


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by gunitbot6, Aug 19, 2010
Hi, can soem of you tramadol victims tell me how long it took you to get your energy back, i would really appreciate it, im on day 34 and still have same energy as week 1,2 and 3. Thank you

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by EmilyPost, Aug 19, 2010
I was doing really well by Day 78 gunitbot ... And if anything maybe you'll get there before I did!

Hang in there .... it's so worth it!

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 19, 2010
This board is sooo amazingly helpful!!! Ladylisa you made my day.
I am still going to taper however I WILL have to increase the tylonal at least as pain and functioning is important. I had a GREAT day in pain today. Probably about a 4 on the pain scale. YAY!!!!! I am pumped which makes me taper more today.
Its sooooo hard to taper when you are sooooo much in pain you are crying and can't function and get nauseated.

I wish my OB new more on this dang drug. He talked to someone about it but she only said its not harmful to baby but didn't say about addiction withdrawls in newborn.
Every woman that I have known that has been on it while pregnant baby had no w/d at lower doses. So that really helps me feel somewhat better. This is so hard. I beat myself up every stinkin day! GUILT is horrible! and shame!
I am so looking forward to being off this stuff although I am pretty certain I won't be able to be without some sort of pain med or something to teach me how to deal with pain. As I get older my pain gets worse.
I have a super high pain threshold most times.

Anyway you have noooo idea how helpful it was to hear your baby had no withdrawls at 4 a day. Did you take that all the way through to the end? or did you taper. I have been REALLY good about not going over 2 for the last I think about 2 weeks. Before that I was just at 3. Amazing how hard even cutting one pill back has been hell. :( I envy those that have the willpower to just not take it at all anymore but I think I would go into labor :D
I CAN DO IT!! RIGHT?!!!!
Tell me I can do it peoples. :D
This baby is so precious and doesn't deserve this!!!

Anyway ladylisa if you can email me privately I would love to hear if your lil one had any symptoms at birth that were w/d symtpoms? Crankiness? etc. ***@****
I have thought of asking my ob to switch to t3 or something but honestly vicoden and t3 make me so nauseated and even more depressed to be honest. Not so sure that is the right thing. So I guess I will increase the tylonal. I absolutely cannot go without some sort of pain relief. I would be a MAJOR wreck.

You guys/gals are amazingly strong people. I know the feeling of beating myself all to well. The guilt shame low self esteem because of this drug and I swear some of you are the strongest people I know. Keep up the good work and thank you so much for your support.

Hugs to all

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by madtram, Aug 19, 2010
Blessed, according to pubmed, the data base for all published medical research, tramadol is used for pain control during labour & also during c-sections, without evidence of harm to baby.

I found the case your doctor referred to where the mother had been on a long term dose of 400 mgs  & was tapered back to 200 in the last few weeks of pregnancy.  The baby did have withdrawals but they were able to treat them successfully & as your ob knows u are on tram, they will know what to look for.

The fact that there is only one reported case suggests that many babies do not have any withdrawals given the high rate that tramadol is prescribed compared with other opioid pain meds.

There is also evidence that the stress of quitting an antidepressant during pregnancy can be harder on the baby than any side effects of the drug.  Of course continue to check with your doctors but I would agree with Lisa that you are better off continuing your taper in a manageable way, especially since u have noted that the other pain  control drugs don't suit u.

A very slow taper can help to significantly reduce side effects, if slow enough, some have had virtually none so this would probably be the same from your baby's perspective.  You are doing really well & I hope u can feel a bit more relaxed after hearing from Lisa.

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by ladylisa109, Aug 19, 2010
blessedmommy I just sent you a message on here since your email didn't show up in your post :o)

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by forget_me_not, Aug 19, 2010
Blessedmommy, Effexor and tramadol are almost identical chemically, and have many of the same effects.  It's not a good idea to combine them due to the risk of serotonin syndrome.  Both affect serotonin levels, and while you might not have a problem, it's very risky from what I understand.

Fight on, Warriors.  As Emily said, it's SO worth it.  

Love and healing to all,
LeeAnn

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by Petermac, Aug 20, 2010
Day 21, 3 weeks, what can I say? It's been a long, rough ride, but this war I've waged with tramadol is going just as planned. Tramadol has been purged from my body and my mind, the effects from this poison still linger, but my mind and body are rebuilding receptors and neurones and whatever else that had become dormant after relying on an artificial substance to do their jobs.
     Theyre being helped by a steady supply of vitamins, minerals, time away from this evil drug that promised so much in the beginning, and delivered, for a long time. Looking back now, I realise that even though I was taking the max prescribed amount
( 400mgs-8 pills) a day, I was having withdrawal symptoms, like night sweats, depression, and extreme anxiety. I was headed to word being like so many I've read about, who had crossed the line and were taking 15,20, or more a day. If I'd had ever gotten online and read about how many were doing it, I'm sure I would have justified upping my intake, that's just the way I am. Where it would have ended, who knows?
    The biggest skirmishes I'm having with my enemy are with a lack of energy and a little trouble sleeping. Some minor depression and anxiety at times, mainly at work. 
    When this war finally ends, and I submit terms of unconditional 
Surrender to my defeated enemy, the only concession I, the victor, will allow it, is that I will never come near it again.
   As for work being a little more difficult at times, well that's just tough, isn't it? I guess that's why they call it work! I'm on track to be completely free of any drugs, this will be accomplished this year, my 50th year on this earth, I will NOT be a slave to ANY drug, I will be completely free, the way God designed me to be, the way ill feel best, save money, set a good example, and enjoy life more. I've always been envious of people who were naturally happy and contented. I will join their ranks. I have earned that privilege.

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 20, 2010
Thanks so much for everyones support. I do have a question. I cut back another 1/4 pill last night and I am having weird like 'stretching" feeling. LIke I have to tense my muscles almost to get comfortable? is this part of w/d even at cutting back 1/4? I am also experiencing nasal issues. Sneezing water nose etc. and hot and cold. Can't decide which one I want to be.
And some mild anxiety. Interestingly though I slept ok last night only woke up 4 times and was able to go back to sleep. I slept til 5 am. YAY! But what the heck are these symptoms? maybe its just my imagination.
Doesn't seem like cutting back another 1/4 would do this but since I am only taking 2 a day and now 1 3/4 last night maybe that is why? since the dosage is lowered?
I don't know.
My pain is under control today as well. YAY For that!!! Makes it MUCH easier to wean when pain is manageable!

My heart goes out to all you guys/gals. We can do this!!
Anyone that has gone through this is incredibly amazingly strong people in my opinion. :)
Hugs to all!

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by forget_me_not, Aug 20, 2010
Blessedmommy, those symptoms sound right on par with the WD experience.  The RLS/restless body feeling is just like that for me: I have to constantly tense and then stretch my muscles, and then again, and again, and...well, you get the picture.  It sounds like you're not having it too badly, which I'm thankful for.  The other stuff (runny nose, hot/cold teeter-totter, etc.) all comes with the territory.  The anxiety, too.  But you should find it much less intense with a very slow taper than you would going cold turkey.

Hang in there!  You're winning!

Petermac, WAY TO GO!!!!  Huge cyber-hug to you.  You've accomplished something tremendous, as you well know.  Hats off to you, my friend.

peace,
LeeAnn

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by bethwillprevail, Aug 20, 2010
Well this is day 2 off Tramadol and I actually dont even want to take a tram.  I have seen the damage it has caused in my dear family and I will not be a part of it any more.  I will live as God intended me to be and if I am tired, so be it.  The most danderous thing about these pills is the lie that they tell you- "a little more wont hurt"..."you'll feel better...tomorrow you can cut back"...."you can control the amount you take-it's OK"...."it doesn't affect your personality"....BUT the truth is real...a little more leads to a lot more....You'll feel better for an hour, then a lot worse...tomorrow you will need more to feel the same way....you will slowly take more because you want to continue to feel that way...it DOES effect your personality- makes you loose ability to focus and concentrate.  The effects Tramadol has on other people around you are subtle, but profound in the long run.  NO MORE FOR ME!!    

Hope everyone if fighting hard to win this battle.  It is a battle of wills to be free.  You can win.  

Blessed: that feeling you are having is the restless leg syndrome- yucky.  It is definitely part of the WD, along with  sneezing, "brain zaps", anxiety, foggyness.  The best thing for the restless legs is a warm bath.  I never could get anything else to help that problem.  I had it too last night.

Petermac: I am in total and complete agreement with you.  I am close to your age and have 2 great kidg with families  and 2 awesome grandkids.  I want to just be who I am.  

It truly is a war you are fighting!!  We all need to have courage and be strong and beat this evil devil for ourselves and for our families.

Beth

  

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by james22778, Aug 20, 2010
hey their good evening to everyone sounds like everybody is continuing to move forward in this campaign to beat this and i am very proud of each and every one of you its very hard for me not to take anymore i really crave them right now but i know if i do its right back at the begining again and i dont want to ever live through this again but good job everyone and good nite

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by ladylisa109, Aug 21, 2010
I am now 12 days Tram free and fairing pretty well.  Got all the stuff I had to get done the past couple of day but I will admit it was a little rough at times.  I don't know if it was because I was doing more and more active during the day but the past couple of nights RLS has raised it's ugly head and I have had a hard time sleeping.  Most of the more unpleasent WDs have seem to lessened or stopped.  Still not much energy but if I force myself I can get going pretty good.  The St Johns Wort seems like it may be starting to help with the depression.  One weird thing happened this evening I don't know if its Tram/WD related or not but probably is.  I was out to dinner with my family and was having a hard time focusing my vision.  My close vision would sometimes get a little fuzzy and then be fine but when I tried to look at a distance THAT would be fuzzy.  I normally have perfect vision and now a few hours later everything is fine it was just a little disconcerning.   Anyway I am going to TRY and get some sleep since I have mountains of laundry to climb tomorrow.  I hope and pray everyone is fairing well and resting well.  Thank you again and again all for all the support and encouragement.  Without you and this journal I really don't think I would have made it this far.  Take care and God bless.   Lisa

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 21, 2010
Lisa,
It may be the st johns wort what dose are you on? Also you may want to try 5htp I think that works better. My son is on it with st johns wort and its AMAZING! He has been on it for 2 months and is much much better. So you may want to try that in addition or just do the 5 htp. I think its more effective.
Also get that book "the mood cure" at the library. AWESOME as you can take amino acids for mood health and she even has chapters in there on pain pill addiction and how to help with it. My problem is I am pg so I am not sure if I can take any of that stuff. GEESH you would think it would be much safer then what I am on though.

So today is day 3 of my taper again. I am on 1 3/4 a day. I find that if I try to wait longer between doses my symptoms don't seem as strong. Its the hot/cold can't make my mind on on my temperature and the stretching that is driving me most crazy. And of course the pain that I have that makes me not be able to do a dang thing. But outside that my depression/anxiety isn't as bad as when I cut back 1/2 a pill. So I will do 2 more days of 1 3/4 and then go to  1 1/2.
I wouldn't have been able to do this without you.

Also a tip that is helping me. If you start having w/d symptoms (mine come and go) probably because I am tapering but when they come on I tell my mind that its not really withdrawl symptom and I try to go on and ignore it. It helps instead of focusing on every little w/d symptom which I was doing before. I am not able to completely ignore it but to some degree. I am definately not able to ignore the pain thats for dang sure. But the w/d are mildly ignorable if I put my mind somewhere else LOL.

You guys are doing so good!
For those that need pain management what are you going to do once you stop tram all together?
I wonder what would be a good alternative for me. HMMMM.

James remember why you are doing this. the craving ***** big time but you have come to far to give in.
You don't want to be back to where you started.
I want to recommend 5 htp to you too and some melatonin for sleep.
Magnesium also and also try Rescue remedy. I know it sounds weird but it does help some.

BLESSINGS to all,

We can do this!!
Mich

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by james22778, Aug 22, 2010
hey their everyone i hope everyone is having a good weekend i also took st johns dont know if it helped or not but i did take it mich i never have tried 5htp but i just might try it couldnt hurt right i usually take benadryl to help me sleep it does a pretty good job and thank you for your advice i will try it. hope everyone has a great weekend

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by ladylisa109, Aug 22, 2010
Day 13 Tram free now and doing pretty good.  Trying to get ambitious right now and finish up some laundry and get my kiddos ready for the first day of school tomorrow.  Its going to be just me and my lil man during the day starting tomorrow it sure is going to be quiet around the house.  I haven't decided if that is a good or bad thing lol.  I am holding my own pretty good with the left over WDs.  Mainly a little RLS at night and energy level is still low.  I have had a few fleeting thoughts about the tram now and then but the first few horrible days of wd are still very much fresh in my mind so that has taken care of those thoughts.  I hope everyone is hanging in there this weekend and feeling stronger.  Mich you are doing amazing!  I really don't think I could have done what you have when I was preg.  I am dealing pretty good with my RA pain with otc meds so far.   I still worry about what I will do if I ever need precription pain meds in the future but I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it.   Take care all and hope you have a wonderful Sunday.  Blessings, Lisa

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by james22778, Aug 22, 2010
hey their lisa i am glad you are doing so well i am proud of you good luck tomorrow on the first day of school

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by bethwillprevail, Aug 22, 2010
Hope everyone is hanging in there and winning the battle!!   Dont give up!!

Day 4 off for me.  Felt bad most of the day with a 2 hour window this afternoon when I felt a little better.  I flushed all the trams I had in my purse and in my med cabinet.  Did not sleep well last night either.  I expect it may take another week or so of feeling bad and then hopefully the fog may lift.  Yikes this is so hard and worse it is all self inflicted.  I am now heading for a warm bath and maybe watch a movie.  Hopefully it will be a better night and with God's help a better tomorrow.

Everyone have a restful night!!  Another day of battle is ahead....

Beth

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by howcouldiknow88, Aug 22, 2010
Beth! Thanks so much for joining the community. Day 4? If you're anything like me (and others on here) the worst is over, or at least coming to an end for you. I've always discovered that the real trick is getting through day 1. And then the symptoms (slowly) begin to fade on days 2 through 7. After that the physical stuff is pretty much over. Then it's time to deal with post-acute stuff. Like low energy, intermittent insomnia, depression, etc. Some people do not have issues with post-acute symptoms. So, don't be worried. It all depends on your own body and how long you used tramadol. The longer you were on tramadol, the longer post-acute withdrawal symptoms will be a factor.

You are doing pretty good with withdrawal if you can sit still long enough to watch a movie. During withdrawal I paced the floor with manic-like thoughts. Especially if I was alone. Constantly pacing the floor. Back and forth. And crying spells for no reason. It was bittersweet. As I used tramadol so long that true emotion just didn't exist for me anymore. They came back in full force and it was hard to handle without crying.

Have you experienced restlessness and that agonizing sensation throughout your body? Especially in the arms and legs? That will be over by day 7 more than likely.

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by tdpill, Aug 23, 2010
Hi All,
Just wanted to check in - I posted back on 8/9 explaining about how I came clean to my wife and family about my Tram use and was determined to taper and quit.  Was initially up to over 30 50 mg per day, quickly went down an stabilized at 12/day and began from there.

I have successfully gotten down to 3/day, one in morning, one in afternoon, and one in evening.  Did good for two nights at this amount and was having a really bad night tonight - took an extra 1/2 under the tongue just to hopefully salvage some sleep.

BlessedMommy - hang in there.  You are doing great.  I am close to where you are in the taper, you are a bit ahead at like 1 3/4 or 2 per day.  I know what you are going through...every 1/2 or 1/4 lowering is difficult.  Some days are better than others, but I am praying for you.  We are due our first child in Nov. and I am determined to be tram free so I can enjoy him and be the best father I can be.  

Before I started the withdrawals I saw a new doctor to have someone to monitor.  I did do a full blood test/EKG.  This is when I was on about 12/day (an much higher over the previous 30 days) .  The results came back surprisingly good - no real concerns.  Considering I had been taking relatively HIGH doses over the better part of 7 years, it was encouraging.  No evidence at all of any kidney issues/functions/etc.  Hopefully encouraging for those who have been taking for a long time.  The main issues that came out were: low Vitamin D, low DHEA, and low testosterone.  Any idea if these three results are related or expected with prolonged use?  Vitamin B was a bit low as well.   Doc prescribed 5000 IU Vitamin D and 50 mg (prescription strength) DHEA.  She also wanted to get me on a testosterone treatment (gel) but b/c my wife is pregnant we are waiting until after the baby is born.

Good news overall is that given the 7 years usage - many times at high levels, she was surprised to see how "normal" all levels of items were.  I know there is little data available for long term effects of usage so, at least on the blood/lab level, seems not too much damage done.

Anyways, hope you all are doing well.  I am still humbled by those who have stopped - either cold turk or after taper.  I haven't made the leap yet so I still know there is that battle ahead.  Hoping to be down to 2/day by next Sat.

Good luck and blessings to all -

SS

PS - A family member posted today at how much more engaged and personable I have been the last few weeks.  Feels neat when something like that happens.  Please post words by others, positive comments by others, or just things you notice about yourself now that are encouraging.  It helps!

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 23, 2010
Bad day yesterday! I went into a bad depression anxiety mode!! Cried a lot!
Several reasons I think!
1. Our stupid  septic is backing up and we haven't even got the funds to fix our head gasket that went out in my van. :(
2. tons on contractions all day so I was freaked I was going to deliver early and am coming down with a weird virus or something! Feel like crap! Fever feeling but no fever. Chilled and body aches. My poor dh was sick too so he was nooo help in the support arena. He slept much of the day so I was up and down a million times chasing my 2 yo.
3. Found out a friend just had her baby early at 36 weeks. She was on trams. Baby is perfect and healthy but.....I am terrified of going into early labor and not being off meds.

Not sure if the trams are playing head games with me or I am just having end of pregnancy fears and emotions magnified or what!! I haven't been able to nest much because of pain and then when I am not having much pain I am still depressed making me pretty much useless!

so last night because of the chills etc I upped my dose 1/4 pill.
Interestingly enough it made no difference how i felt so today I bite the bullet and go 1 1/2 pills. eeks, saying that freaks me out. I HAVE TO DO THIS!!!!
I have been wide awake since 2 a.m. weird since I took that extra 1/4 pill last night. I am soooooooooooooo tired!
Contractions have slowed still there but not as bad! My pain is under control too yay!!! Now just have to get over this virus bug. Maybe that is why I am so freakin emotional!! ughhhh females!! ROTFL

you are all doing great!!! thanks for letting me whine!

ladylisa you are doing awesome!! Cant believe you went ct. You guys/gals amaze me I wish I had that much will power!

keep on truckin' we will get there!


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by lyn38972, Aug 23, 2010
thx medtram for redirecting me to this site,
I had no idea how many were going through this awful stuff!

I've been taking tramadol for approx five years now...never more than 4- 50 mgs per day, and now down to two pills a day.   i can handle the aches and diarrhea, but I'm wondering how long the depression lasts?  I'm just sooooo down and feel like it's never going to end.  also extremely irritable which are bad combinations when I have a three year old and 11 yr old to take care of. I've tried to get off it before and got to about day four or five and had such debillitating depressionn I felt suicidal so started again.  I hate the feeling of zombie don't care about anything state of taking antidepressants, but not sure how to get through this.  If I knew the depression only lasted a few days maybe i could get through it?  My husband is aware of the problem and is supportive, but i still have to hold down a job and take care of three kids, which seems impossible without the ultram!  i've weaned down to two from 3-4 and already just cry all the time....no serious depression just can't stop crying.  i don't like emotions and my husband says this drug has kept me from feeling them for years.  It hit home when I read another post about a girl who took one b4 walking down the aisle on her wedding day...i did the same thing over five years ago.  and to be honest it's been more like 7 years since addicted, but was able to quit when i got pregnant.  i'm scared to feel again, and afraid my friends, family and husband won't like the REAL me.....I'm not as fun as i have faked for so many years!  :-0  I've mostly been on it for the mood lifting effects, not so much pain, although do have that issue as well.  My husband is worried about me withdrawing as well, bcuz I toss and turn all night and hurt (esp lower back and legs) and keep him awake.  he HAS to be alert for his job as he is a UPS man and works long hrs driving.  I have started L tyrosine and ordered that kava stuff?  I've tried the catopress but it makes me so tired I can't stay awake for my kids or my job.  Any suggestions would be wonderful, and thanks for the support...so glad I found this site!  (stayed up most of the night reading the posts....was up anyway! ;-(   Lyn

thx, Lyn


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by missmelanie25, Aug 23, 2010
Hi everybody i just wrote a big ole post on the room part 18 it was like the last one before me was in march, but i just now found that this is the one im supposed to write on i reckon lol, but i dont want to write that big ole book again, so ill just leave it at im right there with you all, going through withdrawals for hopefully the last time, im gonna have to crawl for a while towards my happiness that i deserve and i would rather be crawling towards that than running towards my destruction, know what i mean, im miserable and lonely as hell and sick as hell and ive been going through this every month for the past three years, went to rehab and did good for a little bit after that but relapsed and it was bad to say the least, real bad, but im on day ONE, again, and hopefully i can stay strong and stay off of these drugs because i hate the person they have turned me into, i want my sweet funny self back. No, i dont talk much but maybe thats okay, the pills make you so talkative and outgoing but is it really worth being this sick for half of my life, two weeks on them two weeks out of them and sick, that has been my life for the past three years, and all of the depression and sickness that goes along with all that, All of you know what im talkin about. Im a mother of two little kids, im 25 years old and i have the love of my life back in my life finally and i dont want to lose him again, and i want to be the mother that my kids deserve, not the mother and girlfriend that is too sick to cook dinner, and ill have you know im a regular betty crocker, lol, but seriously i get them used to all that good cookin, then im too sick to even cook so its down to pizzarolls and microwavable stuff, but if i am going to get better then everyone is just going to have to deal with me being depressed and sick in the head for however long it takes because i cant take living like this ANYMORE, and im pretty sure everyone around me is pretty sick of it too. They just want their melanie back and as much as they want her back I want her back a hundred times more, I cant stop crying i just feel so much shame and pain and everything is just magnified ten times more than it really is, my boyfriend sleeps on the couch every night bc he cant falll asleep in the bed but i just want him to hold me tight so bad bc i feel so lonely inside and i dont even have the courage to ask him to hold me tight, thats how puny and weak i feel inside, these pills are straight from hell ill tell ya that much, they seriously are. and the doctors do say they are not addictive and non narcotic, well if they are then why is it that i cant see straight right now you son of a *****. lol. anyways, i hope we can get through this, this certainly is the hardest thing in my life i have EVER had to go through, and wonder why i keep putting myself through all this over and over again. i get past the withdraws just in time to get a new bottle when i know where im gonna be 2 weeks from getting it. it makes no sense at all. That devil sure is working hard on trying to steal my joy. but the drugs make it easier on him to get ya all unhappy and weak, but ill talk at you all later on, thank you for all of the support and posts they have helped me through this day so much, im only on day one right now, but its a start and i have to start somewhere..again, lol
Mel

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by MyFreedom, Aug 23, 2010
Hi everyone ~ I hope all of you are doing well and staying strong.

tdpill ~ I too was on tram for over 7 years (tomorrow will be 5 months clean). I typically took 3 50mg's at a time and would normally have 9 or maybe 12 at most in a day. With my doc's approval and total support, I did a very slow taper and stopped back in March. Around mid taper (was taking about 3-4 50mg tabs a day total), she did my blood work and all was well with kidney and liver function. Funny....my Vitamin D is low too and she put me on a prescription dose of it. She didn't check my Vitamin B, but I started taking it on my own recently (which really does seem to help with energy). I wonder if it's just coincidence or if there is a link with long term use and low Vit D?? Interesting...

BlessedMommy ~ In reference to your chills and body aches.... It could just be the tramadol leaving your system (but then again, if your dh was sick too, then maybe not). Those could totally be withdrawal symptoms. This drug can certainly be playing head games with you...and unfortunately it will for a while. Just find your inner anger with this drug and let that and your new baby be your motivation to keep going.

lyn ~ Your husband is right, this drug has kept you from "feeling" and that's why your are so emotional. Instead of letting it get the better of you....try and welcome all those emotions. The thing that works best for me is to be angry...not at any person, but at the drug. Think about what it's done to you, what it's taken from you and how it has changed who you are. Then find your anger!! And let that be your motivation. Be angry about all the things that it's done to you and use that to your advantage.....it turn, welcoming the real you back! As for your lower back/leg pain and tossing and turning.. that's probably gonna be there for a little while longer. What worked for me personally (not sure about anyone else) is some stretching before bed time. I would just do some stretching with my legs for about 20 minutes or so in the evenings and that would really help. Also, I found that any extra potassium is helpful too...bananas, some cereals, almonds, etc. It seems like I read about the potassium thing somewhere, but not sure where I read it.

Take care all!!
:)



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by madtram, Aug 23, 2010
Dear tramadol warriors, I can feel your resolve all the way down here in Australia.

It has become known that vitamin D levels are low in the general population & more doctors are now testing for it so I don't think that there is any connection to tramadol intake other than to say that getting out in the sun is also helpful for mood & to reset your circadian rhythm, particularly if you get out in the early morning sun.

Long term opioid use could suppress hormone output & I have noticed that many people do report the return of their sex drive, (another very healthy way to boost endorphins).

Lyn, have you tried just taking the catopress at night?  Make sure you only take the l-tyrosine in the morning.

My Freedom, how slow was your taper? From what I have seen, for those who know they have the mindset for a successful taper, going slow does seem to reduce the withdrawals & somewhat avoid the slump in serotonin & noradrenaline.  Some people taper from tramadol's relative drug, effexor by getting down to tiny slivers at the end.

Not that there's anything wrong with emotional epiphanies but we don't always have the luxury of being able to take the time out from work, child raising & chores to process all the emotions that come up.

Mich, the best thing you can do for your baby now is relax.  You are doing everything you can to taper down & stress will only increase your cortisol levels which won't help the baby or your labour when it comes.

Love & hugs to all.



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by lyn38972, Aug 23, 2010
thank you "my freedom"  I am gonna try the stretching and more potassium.  i'm wondering for those of you that went through the debilitating depression (the kind that you think you can't make it through) how long does this last ?  days, weeks?  I truly don't think I could make it for weeks, and it hit me before about day four I think?  I'm sooo scared of that depression after my last pill!

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by madtram, Aug 23, 2010
Lyn,

epsom salt baths can also really help.

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by MyFreedom, Aug 23, 2010
madtram ~ My taper was veeery slow....Probably about 5 months. Had my doc not been on board, I probably would've had to do it quicker. She let me go at my own pace and in my mind, it made all the difference. I would first lower my dose and then after the effects of that wore off (usually 2-3 weeks) I would increase the time between each dose....then after a couple more weeks I would lower the dose again then increase the time again and so on. It felt like it took forever, but hey, it worked for me.

I had tried once on my own to go CT (about 3 years into my use) and couldn't get past 4 or 5 days. There was no info on the internet that helped at that time...and it was a few years before Emily ever showed up. Since I didn't make it CT, I basically just kept taking them 1) because my old doc kept giving them to me and 2) because I was just trying to avoid withdrawal. I'm just not one of those people that can handle a CT w/d. The one and only time I tried was enough for me to not want to go thru it again. I am so thankful that I found this doc and that she was supportive of my slow taper. I wish I could have gone faster, but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. Although I have gone thru all of the symptoms, I never really had any acute w/d once I stopped completely. I had already gone thru much of the general symptoms throughout the 5 months, but to a lesser degree. I think that since I was on them for sooo long and because of my very slow taper it is taking me a little longer than most to get my energy back. I'm doing better with each passing week though. I also have complete support from my husband. Our son (11yrs old) knows about the situation to a lesser degree. Both have been very supportive and have been very encouraging.

I think one reason why I was able to taper successfully is because in my mind, I was ^truly^ done with this drug. I spent the last 2+ years taking it simply to avoid w/d. During that time I grew to hate and resent that pill every time I took one. Had I not gotten to that point, I don't think I would've been successful. I was more than ready to be done with them. I have no cravings or desire to take it again. I pray that I continue to feel that way.

:)





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by Holden04, Aug 23, 2010
I was given a prescription for tramadol about 6 weeks ago for back pain. 100mg tablets. the slow releas formula. i found that if i took it at night, when iwoke up in the morning, i couldnt open my eyes coz they would hurt and go watery if i opened them. anybody have suggestions to help stop taking them?

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by tdpill, Aug 24, 2010
My Freedom -

It was actually your initial post that got me to post...it was a very similar situation.  Even down to the year and the amounts.  I too had been taking them for the last few years just to avoid any inkling of a w/d.

I do have a couple questions for you:
1.  What was your dose when you finally took the leap and came off totally?  Did you jump once or multiple times?
2. Do you use any other supplements (herbs, etc.) that you find help.
3.  What was your final jump like?
4.  Do you have any pain associated with no use? I assume you started using them due to pain...what has happened since?  

Interesting with the vitamin D - it was actually the lowest of all of the readings and the only one that was really considered "out of range".  Testosterone and DHEA were low...I am 44 and both were lower than doc would expect at my age (Test. was at like 425, she would have liked to see it at about 700 or so).  She actually prescribed the testosterone gel and then phoned back same day b/c she forgot my wife was pregnant and due in Nov.

I was also VERY scared at first b/c my wife got pregnant while I was on tramadol.  I am not sure if this is the same with you but I had VERY little interest in sex while on tramadol.  I found a website that dealt with different drugs and pregnancy and called them anonomously a few times to explain my situation. They assured me there is no risk whatsover based on a male taking tramadol and getting wife pregnant.  But I was very scared for a while.  So far we are in week 30 and baby is healthy & happy and all signs are a normal healthy baby! (Praise God! : )  

I'll let you know how things go.  Hoping to be down to 2 50mg/day by next Saturday.  I cannot believe I was taking 45+ per day a few weeks ago.  Craziness.  I just took them like candy b/c they were there.  Here, have a handful with lunch.

Glenn

PS - HOLDEN:  Best to do a slow taper down.  W/D especially at even a lower level can be difficult.

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 24, 2010
tdpill,
there is absolutely no way your tramadol intake can harm your lil unborn. I just want to reassure you of that. So rest easy. you are due about 4 weeks away from me. CONGRATS on your baby and on getting your life back. Just think you are going to be a daddy soon. there is nothing better. Well from a moms standpoint anyhow. LOL. I am amazed how fast your tapering. how are you feeling? I am curious about the questions you posted as well. I want to know what the final jump is like as well. Like when is it safe to just jump off. I am on 1 1/2 a day and I KNOW it would throw me in a tail spin even at that small amount. Ps my d levels were low too but...... I live in a very rainy state and so I think it has more to do with that then the trams. But then again maybe not. my son tested low however and he is only 9. We are on cod liver oil and extra d now.

Lyn: I am right there with you. I am on 1 1/2 a day now and dang the depression and emotional issues I just can't handle.
The physical symptoms aren't that bad its the SEVERE up and down for me. I swear I feel bi polar and I have never experienced those feelings before. One minute I am crying over stupid retarded things then the next minute I am happy (happy to get off this crap and it gives me motivation to be happy) but I am not sure if mine is pregnancy related or not. *sigh*. I am not a very emotional person (too busy to be emotional) but this is stirring up all kinds of uncomfortable emotions in me. I HATE IT!!!! I hear we will eventually pull through though. And read the book "the mood cure" My son is seeing success using some of the methods in there. I am going to try these methods as well when I get more energy and also am not pg anymore.

Madtram you are soooo helpful in your posts. I hope you realize that. You have a sense of peace and joy about you. And it shows through your caring emails. HUGS


Holden: at 6 weeks out from starting them you should have only mild withdrawls. I am not too familiar with the extended release but I would cut back slowly how many are you taking a day?
some say to cut back 10% of your dosage to ward off withdrawls. So you may want to get the regular 50 mg pills and cut back using those. thats what I would do. But get off this stuff NOW before you are like the rest of us and suffering for many years on this stuff being TERRIFIED of jumping off because the w/d are hell.

Myfreedom: I found a slow taper to be best as well. I tried cold turkey. OMGSH I wanted to DIE!!!! The almost suicide like depression was the worst part along with anxiety. I can handle all the RLS, stuffy nose, sneezing, diarhea crap but the depression/anxiety is the killer with this drug. I find I get best results tapering when I give it 2-3 weeks between each taper.
That is SOOO awesome. How long have you been off?

Missmelanie: You CAN do this!!! It is not the easiest thing to do but you will be back to yourself eventually. Just think what it would be like to be free!!!! :)

Lookingforhealth are you still here? ladylisa? how are you both doing?

I am like everyone else. When does this stinking horrible up and down moods get better. OMGSH I am driving myself batty with the ups/downs. I am PISSED at them. :) They are making me crazy. LOL.
As far as my day yesterday. I was really emotional until the afternoon. I got up at 2 am and was up for the day with little screaming grouchy blessings of children and so perhaps that is why. once they started to behave I became more level headed and actually felt happy and I had even cut back to 1 1/2 a day from 1 3/4. So far no w/d symptoms at all except I get stretching feeling at night and my nose is clogged. (those I can handle) :) I am going to do 1 1/2 for 3 days and then cut back again. My pain is under control as well. Which is a first. But then again I am not doing much activity *sigh*.

So for me the issues now are depression major ups major downs and then sleep or lack there of. I am averaging 4-6 hours of interupted sleep at night. Not good for the emotions.

My doctor ok'd me using St johns wort as he knows I dont' want to take antidpressants yet anyway. So I am going to take that soon.
Wish I could take 5 htp though and l tyrosone.

You know what *****?!!! Its the emotional issues that keeps us in this cycle of wanting to pop a pill. It is soooo hard emotionally to quit/cut back that that is what keeps us hooked and fear of what will happen if we cut back yet another dose. UGHHHH. I was on darvocet and it was no where NEAR this bad.

Hugs and love tram defeaters. We will do this. You have all been so wonderful. I want to cry (dang emotions again) with gratitude for how helpful and non judgemental you have been with this.

Another thing that is hard is convincing youself that you will feel better off these meds. I feel so crappy now that its hard to believe I will actually feel better off these.









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by mamakpd, Aug 24, 2010
Where to start.... been on this site since last thursday.... reading....knowing...feeling....agreeing....most of all HOPING.
This will be my second go around with tramadol. I have been taking the "evil crap" since somewhere around 2004?? It all runs together. I have no Drs to blame I was simply looking to replace percocet which was no longer available to me from a double neck surgury. Alas.... tramadol on the internet delivered to my door........ Famous last words...had I only known.I managed to kick tram oct 2008...with a taper down to 1/4 of a pill. I had some w/d symptoms but nothing as of late with my last go around. I managed to get back on this nasty pill when my dog got bit by a snack and my husband came home with a prescription of tramadol for him (the dog) last july it sat on the counter for days and then one night going to work I thought..... let me take just two of these and "kick" off my night. That was all it took. Never again will I even put ONE ONE half one quarter in my mouth.
Being a cardiac patient I had to carry the crap with the hosp secretely last dec so as not to have w/d symptoms while having a cath done. Now thats .........lowwwwwwwwwww..
Well as of today after having another cardiac event since the end of July I am 24 days cold turkey. The details of my event are mild compared to the feeling of let me rephrase this.... the reality of what my current symptoms are from the w/d which up until spending time on this site the last few days I didnt even relate.
The leg cramps....the unreal intestinal symptoms.....and bloated...I actually had myself beleiving that there was something gone wrong with the last cath. Well whats gone wrong I have done to myself. I have done this to myself. Each day gets a little better, and I have NO cravings just this I have done this to myself. But I have also made the decision by myself that I will never take this pill again so I try and find some solace in that. But my w/d suffering and my emotion state puts a certain damper on that right now..... If i could know anything right now it would be....how much more and how much longer.....  all of the post lead me to everyone is different but i find mostly each post had a I can relate to that sentence in it....
I will be here.... I will not give in...... I will continue to get better.....right????


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by lookingforhealth, Aug 24, 2010
I am here!!  Just reading alot.  I have been feeling horrible since being put on Effexor.  I think I should stop it but have an appointment tomorrow to discuss with the Doc.  The depression is KILLER.  I thought this would help.  If Ihad Tram I would probably be relapsing right now.  I don't know what to do!!!!!??????

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by lyn38972, Aug 24, 2010
tdpill,
wow, sounds like we have the same life here!  of course I've related to almost all these posts!  How old is your baby?   I have a three year old and the pregnancy was the only time I have been off them for about 7 years.  I didn't realize they were so addictive and caused such a dependence at the time, but looking back it all makes sense now as I was extrememly depressed and in so much pain and multiple discomforts during my pregnancy, esp the beginning.  All i could do many days was lie on the couch and cry, which didn't make much sense bcuz I wanted to be pregnant!  at the time i just attributed it all to hormones and discomforts of pregnancy , but now, looking back, it was my most difficult pregnancy bcuz of withdrawals!

I too have had crazy emotional outbursts of crying and anger, which is not like me either, as I am normally pretty stoic and don't like emotions (hence the "greatness " of the little pill). my poor three yr old is very worried and has been clingy and hugging me all the time and telling me "it's ok mommy, I love you"  ...just typing this puts me in tears!  lol  it's craziness, but thank goodness my husband is an emotional sensitive guy and seems to be enjoying my neediness and tears as he is able to get close and hold me and I'm all for it!  

But as you said Td, I am scared scared scared of the depression, esp after last pill!  last time I just couldn't get through that, after four days I said screw it, and took a pill , and within 30 minutes the cloud lifted and I could function again!  I wish we had a definite time period, so we could mark off  the days on the calendar, knowing there was an end in site!

Wondering how many of you out there had sexual side effects?  Wondered why i've had no sex drive for so many years now, and had all hormones checked over and over (which have been normal), and now thinking that problem was also related to this evil stuff, after reading a few other posts stating sexual stuff?  

also, have any of you had bladder issues from this?  I have had chronic interstitial cystitis for over two years now, along with kidney area pain and severe low back pain.  my labs have been normal, so I'm thinking this as well is related to the tram?  the fibromyalgia they say goes along with the IC, which of course, is neuropathy, most likely from this crap!??l

thank you all for your posts,and the time it takes to encourage!  hopefully I will also soon  be at a place to offer more encouragement to you others!

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by lyn38972, Aug 24, 2010
hey lookingforhealth,
just want to tell you , if you just started effexor, get off it asap!  I was on the crap for about six months and had similar withdrawals trying to get off of it!  i had to open the capsule and cut back by one little bead a day, so this took a LONG time to get off it as you can imagine!  i've heard that effexor and tramadol are related?  anyway, there had to be something else you can try!  For me, antidepressants make me feel like a zombie with NO motivation!  Have you weaned off the tram totally?  did you wean down to the smallest amt possible and take it every few days b4 quitting?  maybe you got off too quickly?  not saying to take it again, but I know that depression is a killer!  have you tried herbal supplements?  maybe celexa, cymbalta, or anything besides effexor!!!

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by lyn38972, Aug 24, 2010
that post of mine a few up was actually to blessed mommy, sorry!

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 24, 2010
I weened off tramadol.  Very low doses about 1 to 1 1/12 a day.  I have been off for 3 weeks.  I think I am going to ask for Cymbalta.  I have alot of random pain.  

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by lyn38972, Aug 24, 2010
yeah, cymbalta a good idea, i've heard it really helps many with pain issues, and hopefully it's a good antidepressant as well.  three weeks huh?  that's a long time for such serious depression!  I guess i was really hoping that after three weeks out that depression stuff would be gone!??  is it constant or intermittent?  sorry, won't ask you more questions after this as i know how difficult it is to even respond when you're depressed!  hang in there, I'm saying a prayer for you!!

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by bethwillprevail, Aug 24, 2010
In reading the recent comments, I wanted to comment.  I had been on for 10 yrs- at an ever increasing dose.  Got off several times for maybe 2 wks at a time, this last time was in May.  Since then- as others have also reported- I took 1/4 pill then 1/2 pill, etc and was going back up on my dose to relieve my depression.  I feel it has been the depression that has hooked me back on the trams.  I am on day 6 off the trams now and THIS time I got on Welbutrin to help with my depression and terrible sadness that comes when I have tried to come off before.  I believe that THIS time, I am understanding more about why I have been taking this stuff.  I also will never never even as much as sniff a tramadol again!  I know that even a tiny dose will put me back in a horrible place.  I want my life back.  I encourage everyone to identify what your trigger is and deal with that first.  Getting off the trams has been a little easier this time since I started the antidepressant.  Getting off trams is a very hard thing to do, but these pills are evil and will really mess up your life.
BE STRONG - it is a lie the pills tell you that you cannot live or be yourself without those pills!        

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by bethwillprevail, Aug 24, 2010
In reading the recent comments, I wanted to comment.  I had been on for 10 yrs- at an ever increasing dose.  Got off several times for maybe 2 wks at a time, this last time was in May.  Since then- as others have also reported- I took 1/4 pill then 1/2 pill, etc and was going back up on my dose to relieve my depression.  I feel it has been the depression that has hooked me back on the trams.  I am on day 6 off the trams now and THIS time I got on Welbutrin to help with my depression and terrible sadness that comes when I have tried to come off before.  I believe that THIS time, I am understanding more about why I have been taking this stuff.  I also will never never even as much as sniff a tramadol again!  I know that even a tiny dose will put me back in a horrible place.  I want my life back.  I encourage everyone to identify what your trigger is and deal with that first.  Getting off the trams has been a little easier this time since I started the antidepressant.  Getting off trams is a very hard thing to do, but these pills are evil and will really mess up your life.
BE STRONG - it is a lie the pills tell you that you cannot live or be yourself without those pills!        

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by WANNABMOTHER, Aug 24, 2010
Hello-So I had tapered my 20 + a day habit to 10 to 5 and today I took the last dose and tomorrow I start my clean, cold turkey route. I have been off of this for a couple of days but gave in and started up again. Except, this time, I REALLY want to get pregnant which I know HAS to be my light when it gets to the roughest point. I have weened off of Celexa successfully with no side effects and even Klonopin, I know I will need to take a Klonopin for the anxiety here and there for the anxiety and I have already stocked up on the Immodium for the stomach issues. I'm nervous but almost relieved that I WILL be free of this medicine that has really controlled my life for almost 2 years! My main question is, how long do I wait until this medicine is out of my system and I can try getting pregnant? I know I can't be on the Klonopin, but I know of the time frame with that one. Anyone know? My pharmacist says a week but I just wanted to ask people who really know.

NOONE in my family or friends know how much I depended on this medication because quite frankly I am ashamed. I was hit by a drunk driver 4 years ago and after 6 surgeries, I've been on some type of pain medication ever since. The pain I will feel from arthritis no longer scares me, the only withdrawal symptom that scares me is the twitching I have done at night in previous attempts. The anxiety, loss of sleep, loss of energy do not scare me either. My biggest fear I feel has been conquered, and that is making the decision to be free of this medicine. Being addicted to Vicodins, I know I will get through this, but, while I act SO brave, I know tomorrow I may have a different story so I decided to get onto this board so I can have the support of people who have been through this before.  Another question is-I was on Vicodin for two years and when I went off of them I was in REAL withdrawal for about 3 days-after that I didn't feel myself but the worse was over-is it the same with the tramadol?

Thanks in advance-it's good to know I can speak freely about this!

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by lookingforhealth, Aug 24, 2010
The depression is on and off.  I have a 7 month old now and I don't have as much time to be depressed as i had befroe.  Sort of a joke.  Anyway I have been depressed for YEARS.  I am finally at the right place to work on it.  I have a stable home life and insurance and the motivation  (my son)  So i do think the Tram has increased the depression but I think I started taking it due to the depression.

On a side note the effexor is also making me feel I have cotton in my mouth.  

WANNA i know what your going through with the noone knowing!!  It's so hard to do on your own.  Once I told the doctor I felt a huge weight off my shoulders!!!

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by blessedmommy8, Aug 24, 2010
lyn I relate!!
I am still pregnant so waiting for baby. I have several other kiddos at home though. :)
I am doing really well today. I have no clue why. I was up at 4 am though and so I am tired and earlier I was having hot/cold/chills runny nose and about 1/2 hour after I took my dose I felt better. So guess I am getting some w/d. GERG!
But my emotions are ok today and I am not craving them at all. That is a first for me. Maybe because my dose is so much lower its all phycological now?

bethwillprevail: do you notice a big help with the antidepressant? its it makign it easier. Forgive me I forgot if you are off cold turkey or a taper?

Does anyone know when I should just jump off the wagon? how low do we get our dose down if we want minimal symptoms (mine mainly being depression/anxiousness)? I mean if I am taking 1/2 pill which will be in about 1 1/2 weeks should I just cold turkey it then? Like I said the depression TERRIFIES me.
I am cutting back 1/4 pill every 3 days now. But at what point do I say the heck with it and just cold turkey teh rest? or do I?

Lookingforhealth I would talk to them about a different antidepressant if they are making you feel so crappy. They worked great for me albiet coming off them was hell for me as well. I had issues coming off paxil more then effexor though. Paxil REALLY sucked. It took me months of cutting my pill into 1/16ths that is crazy.
I know tram acts as an antidpressant but I don't think they are as strong as the paxil was for me. Maybe I am lying to myself I don't know lol.

Wishing we could all just be happy without the sucky depression. It looms like a dark cloud. Mine comes and goes which is almost more irritating.

Beth: YES these dang pills are EVIL for sure! I cannot wait to be free!
But I sure hope my moods improve or I am going to be tempted to take them again after baby comes. I HATE feeling so unmotivated, low energy and blahh.



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by lyn38972, Aug 24, 2010
yes, ditto to all that you said blessedmommy, except thank God I'm not pregnant! ;-) lol  I did take the tram early in the pregnancy but got off them ( didn't know they were so addictive at that time) and I think the depression and withdrawals i had (looking back now) was worse for my pregnancy/child than it would've been to stay on small dose. and BTW, i have been an OB nurse for many years , so if you have any PG questions, I'm here for ya!  ;-)  just say YES to epidural!!!

yes, I too am still trying to find some answers about the depression and how long it lasts...please all you who have been through this, let us know about the depression!  thx!

thank you Beth for your insight.  I may try an antidepressant (although in past i've hated the way they make me feel) but cannot go through that crippling depression again, like blessed says, it's sooooo scary to face!  like knowing when you go to bed you will have a horrible nightmare that you can't wake up from!

To Wanna:  if your husband is understanding at all, or a close friend or family member, you HAVE to tell someone for support and accountability!  I've told my husband (even tho initially he was frustrated and annoyed w me that we are going through this AGAIN!)  and have told close friends and family, so they know why I am the way I am!  And it does feel so much better letting go of that secret!  i am a nurse, and so feel like the shame is even bigger, as addiction is such a shameful taboo thing in this field, but such a huge problem as well!  but i can almost promise you that your true friends and your loved ones will be understanding and supportive, which is what we all need!


re: l tyrosine and 5 HTP, ....should i not take either one while still on the trams, or is it ok to take l tyrosine?  
had anyone tried cymbalta, or any newer antidepressants that don't make you feel zombielike, and blah?







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by lyn38972, Aug 24, 2010
and ps, i was also addicted to vicodin, but thought that was easier to get off, as there was no debillitating depression involved with stopping it....I hate this addictive gene I have !!!  just wannabe free!!

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by MyFreedom, Aug 24, 2010
Hi all! Today is my 5 month mark!! I have been free from tramadol for 5 months now!

tdpill ~ How long have you been on your taper? To answer your questions:

Q's 1 & 3 --- At 2 months before my last dose, I was down to 1/2 a tab every 11 hours. When I finally stopped I had been on 1/4 of a tab every 12 hours. I took my last 1/4 tab at 11pm on March 24th. I was prepared for worst and praying for the best and hoping to fall somewhere in between....it actually turned out better than "somewhere in between". I expected to feel like total crap about 18-24 hours out, but it never really happened. I had been experiencing mild w/d during the 5 /12 months that I was tapering, but nothing like a CT experience...it was tolerable (a nuisance at times, but tolerable). A few days after my last dose I was very drained physically, no energy, needed to stretch pretty regularly, and a little worsening of the restless sleep and diarrhea, but I had been experiencing all of these things already on a mild scale all along. So it wasn't anything that was significant. It all lasted maybe 2 1/2 weeks and faded. I still have random bouts of some things, but nothing significant anymore.

Other than my one CT experience, this is my one and only "jump". By the Grace of God, I'll never have to go through all this crap again!

2 - The meds I take now are:
---Daily Multivitamin
---Daily Omega 3 Fish Oils (doc wants my good cholesterol a little higher)
---A few times a week (for energy) Vit B12
---When I feel stressed out/anxious - L-Theanine
---When I can't fall asleep - sublingual melatonin
---Twice a week - Rx for Vit D
---Daily Rx for mild high blood pressure...doc put me on it just before my taper began. I'm not completely convinced that I still need it now that I'm off tramadol. Hope to discuss it w/ her at next check up.

My goal is to be completely drug free with the exception of the multivitamin and fish oils. We'll see how that goes!

I've read where many people take other/additional supplements and herbs, but I kinda worry about taking too many different things. I want to try and allow my brain and body to heal on it's own with as little extras as possible. That's just me, though. To each their own. We are all different in our situation and needs.

4 - When I was 16 (I'm 36 now) I was in a car accident that messed up my back (no bone issues....it was muscular damage to my upper left back and shoulder). Every so often the pain would return after re-aggravating it. About 8 1/2 or 9 years ago I irritated it pretty badly by overdoing it when moving some furniture around by myself. The doc gave me something heavy duty....don't recall what, but it was one of the good narcotics like a higher milligram of vicodin. I recall realllllly liking what it did for me. There began the nightmare. Well after about a year or so of trying to get the doc to keep giving them to me, she finally essentially said....here, you can have all of these that you want.....thus began the tramadol cycle. It not only gave me the unstoppable feeling and energy, but my shoulder and neck never hurt.

Fast forward a couple of years and now I wanted to stop taking them. So I did.....for about 4 or 5 days. I failed and started back on them.

Fast forward to now. What I found when tapering was that I was getting random pains as well as my shoulder and neck acting up. I thought that I was gonna be doomed to it hurting all the time, but in actuality, the pain lessened the further along I went in the taper. It did come back some within the first couple of months after I stopped, but it has faded. That's not to say that it doesn't still bother me. It does, but I've found that a couple of advil and some good stretching works pretty well. I also have a few mild muscle relaxers when needed (doc gave me 15 flexeril back in November....still have 4 left). Also, my husband is really good at massaging it when it bothers me.

I kinda think that the tramadol *creates* some of our pain....In turn making us think that we either 1) need to take more and 2) keeps us from stopping the drug. Once we stop taking it, the pain we originally had resurfaces (along with other random pain) and it is very much amplified by the w/d. I felt that if I could get past that part, I would be successful.

I know....I ramble....but I hope that answered your ?'s about my experience!!

Also, I don't doubt that tramadol could be a key factor in your low testosterone levels. I can recall reading quite a few posts about a returning sex drive post-tramadol use. After reading some of the other posts  about it, it made sense to me that tramadol affected my sex drive as well. I always thought it was the birth control pills that I took. I stopped taking them almost a year ago....around the same time that my taper began. So, I never really thought the tramadol could be involved. Such interesting stuff. Why is it that all of us know more about this drug than the doctors?

Alrighty....Gotta go get some last minute things for the kiddo. He starts 7th grade tomorrow! Sheesh, that makes me feel old!

Love and hugs to all!
:)



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by bethwillprevail, Aug 24, 2010
Blessed: When your baby comes you will be so busy that you will not have time to worry about it.  :)
The antidepressant has helped me.  I think the whole depression thing was one reason I kept failing to stay off the pills.  I did a fast taper, but I am thinking what you are doing is good- as long as you stick to it.  I actually went down to 1/4 pill total before stopping- is that crazy?  Does that just tell you what this stuff does to our brain chemistry??  It actually freaks me out a little.  Scary how powerful these things are.  I hate the power they have had over me.  I DO NOT want to be a slave anymore.  The antidepressant has made it tolerable.   Blessed you can try the taper as fast as your body will allow within tolerance.  Thats what I did.  If I felt like I could not stand it I took a little bit, but tried to keep the time span longer and longer at the end of the taper. My depression is the same- comes and goes like a very dark cloud.  

Most people around me do not know anything about this whole nightmare.  My son and husband know and thats it.  I have been hiding this for sooooo long.  I function well with the trams- as long as I make sure I have one to take at my next dose.  Its crazy to let a drug have such power over you.   Like someone else said- you need to get mad about the hold this crap has over you.  ANGERY!!  We all must use the anger to rid ourselves of the addiction.  

Beth

Beth





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by booba77, Aug 24, 2010
Beth~I am also on wellbutrin, and I started about a week ago, after relapsing for thr 5th time.  I think it was the depression thay got to me as well.  I am trying to be patient with the wellbutrin, but I havent really noticed a big difference yet.  I take 75 mg twice a day, so I am on a lower dose and I know it takes awhile to work.  I really don't want to try effexor.  I guess a lot of the depression now comes with just dealing with reality, since tram pretty much just masked all of the bad in my life.  Now dealing is hard.  I hope the wellbutrin works for us both.  Pregnant ladies~I commend you in your tapering.  It will be difficult, but you are doing great.  I love you guys.  Been a bit down lately so I havent posted much, but I am always lurking.  Love and hugs to all.

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by booba77, Aug 24, 2010
Beth~I am also on wellbutrin, and I started about a week ago, after relapsing for thr 5th time.  I think it was the depression thay got to me as well.  I am trying to be patient with the wellbutrin, but I havent really noticed a big difference yet.  I take 75 mg twice a day, so I am on a lower dose and I know it takes awhile to work.  I really don't want to try effexor.  I guess a lot of the depression now comes with just dealing with reality, since tram pretty much just masked all of the bad in my life.  Now dealing is hard.  I hope the wellbutrin works for us both.  Pregnant ladies~I commend you in your tapering.  It will be difficult, but you are doing great.  I love you guys.  Been a bit down lately so I havent posted much, but I am always lurking.  Love and hugs to all.

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by booba77, Aug 24, 2010
Beth~I am also on wellbutrin, and I started about a week ago, after relapsing for thr 5th time.  I think it was the depression thay got to me as well.  I am trying to be patient with the wellbutrin, but I havent really noticed a big difference yet.  I take 75 mg twice a day, so I am on a lower dose and I know it takes awhile to work.  I really don't want to try effexor.  I guess a lot of the depression now comes with just dealing with reality, since tram pretty much just masked all of the bad in my life.  Now dealing is hard.  I hope the wellbutrin works for us both.  Pregnant ladies~I commend you in your tapering.  It will be difficult, but you are doing great.  I love you guys.  Been a bit down lately so I havent posted much, but I am always lurking.  Love and hugs to all.

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by booba77, Aug 24, 2010
sorry to post so many times.  I hate my phone!!!!!

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by EmilyPost, Aug 24, 2010
:)

This thread is closed.

Please post on Part 37 ...

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/224304/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-Part-37

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by ladylisa109, Aug 24, 2010
Sorry I haven't posted the last couple of days or so but have been real busy which is actually a good thing....less time to dwell on some of the left over WDs that like to pop up unannounced.   I am on day 15 Tram free now and doing fairly well.  For everyone dealing with the depression that is so common coming off these nasty little pills for me I have found St Johns Wort and 5 HTP most helpful.  I am just taking them according to the instructions on the bottles and they have seemed to help.  Still have a little anxiety that pops up time to time but a big portion of the depression cloud has lifted.  Thats not to say I wont have "bad days" in the future just that right now its working for me.  Was having a rough night sleeping last night since I guess RLS is my cross to bear at least a while longer and finally got settled and fell asleep around 2am then at 3am my 4yr old decided to climb into bed with mommy and daddy and oh my that set it off all over again.  But was able to catch a little more sleep later in the morning.  On a more "adult" note I noticed someone mentioned something about sexual side effects of Tram.  While I have never been a sex maniac lol I definately see where the Trams cut down my drive significally over the past few years.  I can also say that two weeks out off of them I am seeing a definate increase in my libido and my fiance is quite happy  lol!  Also, its a great way to release those natural endorphins we are so lacking on when we stop this junk.  

Blessed: You are doing an amazing job right now hun and are so brave to be facing this esp. while you are pregnant.  If your Dr. okay it for you to take the St Johns Wort now I would definately try it.  I think it has really helped at least for me to ease the depression.  Hang in there lady and take care of yourself and that lil one you have on the way ;o)

Wannabmother:  I did a fast taper similar to you as I took 5 one day 4 the next then 2 then 1 then no more.  The first 4 days for me were pretty horrendous.  My particular torture that was hard for me was the muscle spasms and RLS I was fine with everything else but that almost ate my lunch.  Be sure and read back on some of the earlier post because there are several supplements and remedies that do work.  By day 5 I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and I am now on day 15 and doing pretty well I feel.  Be aware that WDing from Tram is different from Vicodin because Tram also contains an anitdepressent you will be wding from also.  Thats this pills dirty little secret.  Before I came to this forum I had no idea that it contained an antidepressent and I had been taking it over 5yrs.  Take care and hold strong because if you can make it the first 5-7 days everything greatly improves day by day from there.  

Well, kiddos are home from school and I am off to get dinner ready.  Hope everyone has a blessed and quiet evening.  Take care and God bless.  Lisa



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by ladylisa109, Aug 24, 2010
opppss posted after the thread was closed...just added it to the new one ;o)

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by WANNABMOTHER, Aug 24, 2010
Thank you all for your advice-I told my husband before that he might be seeing a "different" me for a bit and explained the situation. Although he doesn't quite understand how I'll feel, he was supportive and understands that I'll need to focus on myself and might not be the happiest person. Telling him did take a huge weight off of me because at least now he'll know why I won't be at my best.

I had no idea that tramadol had an anti-depressant in it! Definitely something I wasn't told. So, expecting the worse, tonight I start my way to being medicine free! I hope the first few days go quickly!! I'll keep you updated!! Thanks again!!

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by howcouldiknow88, Aug 24, 2010
WANNABEMOTHER, this thread has closed. Click on emily's link to the new one. The link is a couple of posts up :D

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