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Mess Up
Aug 13, 2008 02:17PM
- 7 comments
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I messed up real bad this past weekend. Nothing medical, don't worry.
I was at a party for my friend, Rachel, who just graduated high school. She's only 18, and she decided to get drunk at her party. There wasn't too many people at the party, about 9, including me. I really don't like to drink because it makes me crazy and sad. I had a few sips of my appletini, and watched the other girls play beer pong. I saw a girl that I used to hate drive by in a car, with a guy in the passenger's seat. She was dating this guy named Chris, and I automatically assumed it was him...because the last time I saw them, they were dating. Rachel started talking to be about the girl and I said "Oh yeah. She drove by earlier with Chris." and Rachel says "I doubt that. Chris is dating Tori (one of the girls at the party)." I said "Really? It looked like him...but I guess it couldn't have been." Rachel decides that she needs to prove to me that it couldn't have been Chris, so she goes and gets Tori and tells her that I said I saw Chris in the car with his ex-girlfriend. Tori flips out and starts threatening me, saying she wants to beat me. I was like "I never said..." but Rachel kept cutting me off. That pissed me off, but Tori had a shot of vodka and forgot alllll about it. Later, one of the girls, Stephanie, did almost the same thing. Stephanie is a hard-core partyer. She goes out and drinks almost every weekend. Rachel's parents are pretty cool, and I got to chatting with them (it got really hot and sweaty down in the basement where the party was because there was no air conditioning, so I needed to take a breather). Rachel's father started talking to me about drinking and he asked me how everyone was doing down in the basement. I said "They're fine." He nodded. He started talking to his wife about drinking, and then we started talking about underage drinking, and then we got into talking about alcoholics. Her dad said "I'm really worried about Stephanie. She seems to go out every weekend and drink." Then Rachel's mom said "I wonder if she's an alcoholic..." I chuckled a little and said "I know she loves to party hard, but I wouldn't say that Stephanie is an alcoholic." Apparently Rachel, who was pretty tipsy herself...and I guess had selective hearing, was listening to our conversation and she decided to go down and tell Stephanie that I said that I thought she was an alcoholic, even though I said I didn't think she was. Stephanie came up from downstairs and began to curse me out and say she wanted to strangle me. That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I was the only semi-sober one there, and it seemed like everyone was picking on me, and twisting my words to see what would happen. I got in my car, and drove around to the next block (I had a couple, and I didn't want to accidently hurt someone or get pulled over for DWI), and I sat there for about 2 hours. I hate when people get in my face and tell me things that they heard from someone else and expect it to be things that I said or did. I felt like an jerk because Rachel's dad saw my freakout and now she says her dad is never going to trust her again. I feel like it's my fault that Rachel's party was ruined and that now I'm down like 6 friends. Even though I really never said anything that I would think would hurt someone, I guess it did. I feel guilty and mad at myself. I have talked to Stephanie and told her that I was sorry and I know that she believes what Rachel told her...but she's still mad at me. I don't know what to do....and I keep feeling like such a drama queen...the one thing I vowed to myself I would never become.
I was at a party for my friend, Rachel, who just graduated high school. She's only 18, and she decided to get drunk at her party. There wasn't too many people at the party, about 9, including me. I really don't like to drink because it makes me crazy and sad. I had a few sips of my appletini, and watched the other girls play beer pong. I saw a girl that I used to hate drive by in a car, with a guy in the passenger's seat. She was dating this guy named Chris, and I automatically assumed it was him...because the last time I saw them, they were dating. Rachel started talking to be about the girl and I said "Oh yeah. She drove by earlier with Chris." and Rachel says "I doubt that. Chris is dating Tori (one of the girls at the party)." I said "Really? It looked like him...but I guess it couldn't have been." Rachel decides that she needs to prove to me that it couldn't have been Chris, so she goes and gets Tori and tells her that I said I saw Chris in the car with his ex-girlfriend. Tori flips out and starts threatening me, saying she wants to beat me. I was like "I never said..." but Rachel kept cutting me off. That pissed me off, but Tori had a shot of vodka and forgot alllll about it. Later, one of the girls, Stephanie, did almost the same thing. Stephanie is a hard-core partyer. She goes out and drinks almost every weekend. Rachel's parents are pretty cool, and I got to chatting with them (it got really hot and sweaty down in the basement where the party was because there was no air conditioning, so I needed to take a breather). Rachel's father started talking to me about drinking and he asked me how everyone was doing down in the basement. I said "They're fine." He nodded. He started talking to his wife about drinking, and then we started talking about underage drinking, and then we got into talking about alcoholics. Her dad said "I'm really worried about Stephanie. She seems to go out every weekend and drink." Then Rachel's mom said "I wonder if she's an alcoholic..." I chuckled a little and said "I know she loves to party hard, but I wouldn't say that Stephanie is an alcoholic." Apparently Rachel, who was pretty tipsy herself...and I guess had selective hearing, was listening to our conversation and she decided to go down and tell Stephanie that I said that I thought she was an alcoholic, even though I said I didn't think she was. Stephanie came up from downstairs and began to curse me out and say she wanted to strangle me. That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I was the only semi-sober one there, and it seemed like everyone was picking on me, and twisting my words to see what would happen. I got in my car, and drove around to the next block (I had a couple, and I didn't want to accidently hurt someone or get pulled over for DWI), and I sat there for about 2 hours. I hate when people get in my face and tell me things that they heard from someone else and expect it to be things that I said or did. I felt like an jerk because Rachel's dad saw my freakout and now she says her dad is never going to trust her again. I feel like it's my fault that Rachel's party was ruined and that now I'm down like 6 friends. Even though I really never said anything that I would think would hurt someone, I guess it did. I feel guilty and mad at myself. I have talked to Stephanie and told her that I was sorry and I know that she believes what Rachel told her...but she's still mad at me. I don't know what to do....and I keep feeling like such a drama queen...the one thing I vowed to myself I would never become.
You aren't the only one who ever had this happen. You say X, somebody hears it and repeats it to someone else and X turns to Y, etc. Things that you never said become ascribed to you. Like that game "Broken Telephone" we played as little kids.
I've heard that I: breed wolves to mug people and steal their money; have held up a number of gas stations; belong to a Black militant group, AIM and the KKK; am really a man ....
What happened to you was in real life (actually, it was real life that this happened to me). It hurts and you do the same thing I do (no offence) - you feel bad and blame yourself. That's not being a drama queen. That's internalizing the blame for something you didn't do. Your intent wasn't malicious. If Stephanie believes somebody else, you can't really do anything until she decides to talk to you about it. A real friend might get mad but eventually come to whoever they think has hurt them and talk about it. If she doesn't, she's not a real friend.
wolf
I've heard that I: breed wolves to mug people and steal their money; have held up a number of gas stations; belong to a Black militant group, AIM and the KKK; am really a man ....
What happened to you was in real life (actually, it was real life that this happened to me). It hurts and you do the same thing I do (no offence) - you feel bad and blame yourself. That's not being a drama queen. That's internalizing the blame for something you didn't do. Your intent wasn't malicious. If Stephanie believes somebody else, you can't really do anything until she decides to talk to you about it. A real friend might get mad but eventually come to whoever they think has hurt them and talk about it. If she doesn't, she's not a real friend.
wolf
It seems they werent your friends to start with. True friends are hard to find and when you do find one thats when you know what true friendship is ALL about.
It sounds to me like you need a new group of friends. They don't seem much like friends to me. Real friends don't gossip about their friends, or lie about their friends or try to make themselves look better than their friends. They also don't threaten to beat up their friends. I don't know. I think you sound a little higher class than this group. There's more to life than going to a party and getting drunk. And drunks can get mean real fast.
If I were you I'd think real hard about whether I still wanted to have anything to do with any of these people. If it were me, I'd ditch them in a heartbeat. Who needs that kind of grief? You can do better than that.
If I were you I'd think real hard about whether I still wanted to have anything to do with any of these people. If it were me, I'd ditch them in a heartbeat. Who needs that kind of grief? You can do better than that.
Why would you be hanging out with an 18 year old?
And why would Rachel's parents allow her to partake in under age drinking?
This whole scenario sounds like a bunch of typical high school kids, including your actions!
Sounds like everybody involved needs to GROW UP.
And why would Rachel's parents allow her to partake in under age drinking?
This whole scenario sounds like a bunch of typical high school kids, including your actions!
Sounds like everybody involved needs to GROW UP.
I think this was on The Hills last week, wasn't it? Sounds pretty familiar.
*shrugs shoulders*
Sounds like your medical career is going so smashingly well, you have time for some kick a$$ partying.
*shrugs shoulders*
Sounds like your medical career is going so smashingly well, you have time for some kick a$$ partying.
I find it very difficult to believe that a 28 yo med student is hanging out and drinking with 18 yos. You sound way younger than you say you are--seriously...your ramblings sound more like high school than those of someone in med school. Why are you hanging out with kids? Also, you should have left when you saw that there was underage drinking. I don't think that being convicted of contributing to the delinquency of minors or being caught drinking in driving would have done your medical career any good.
Yes, I really am 28. I lived next to Rachel and her parents for 10 years, before I moved out for med school.
I became close with Rachel's parents, and her dad invited me to her party. I had NO idea that they were going to be drinking until I got invited downstairs to the basement. Then when they stated drinking, I realized that they're only 18, and moderation is out of the question. I stopped drinking because I thought it would be the responsible thing to do....to make sure nothing bad happens. That's when they all started to come after me. There was no way I could take on 9 drunk teenage girls and tell them to stop drinking. I wouldn't have made it out alive.
Believe me, I know it was a mistake even staying there for the 4 hours I did. I was just worried about Rachel, and I know how alcoholism destroys people.
I got a prank call from Rachel and Stephanie last night telling me I was a ***** and a rat. I shrugged it off, I don't want to get sucked into the drama again.
Rachel's parents are really nice, and they gave her a little latitude for her party. What I didn't know then, that know now (I found this out last night) is that Rachel got her uncle to buy her three 24-packs of beer, on top of the vodka and 12 case of beer she already had. I think that even though I was trying to be the responsible adult, even taking part in it was a bad idea.
I think you all are right and I shouldn't socialize with drunk and crazy high schoolers. I think it is time for me and rachel and Stephanie to end our friendship.
Thanks for the input.
I became close with Rachel's parents, and her dad invited me to her party. I had NO idea that they were going to be drinking until I got invited downstairs to the basement. Then when they stated drinking, I realized that they're only 18, and moderation is out of the question. I stopped drinking because I thought it would be the responsible thing to do....to make sure nothing bad happens. That's when they all started to come after me. There was no way I could take on 9 drunk teenage girls and tell them to stop drinking. I wouldn't have made it out alive.
Believe me, I know it was a mistake even staying there for the 4 hours I did. I was just worried about Rachel, and I know how alcoholism destroys people.
I got a prank call from Rachel and Stephanie last night telling me I was a ***** and a rat. I shrugged it off, I don't want to get sucked into the drama again.
Rachel's parents are really nice, and they gave her a little latitude for her party. What I didn't know then, that know now (I found this out last night) is that Rachel got her uncle to buy her three 24-packs of beer, on top of the vodka and 12 case of beer she already had. I think that even though I was trying to be the responsible adult, even taking part in it was a bad idea.
I think you all are right and I shouldn't socialize with drunk and crazy high schoolers. I think it is time for me and rachel and Stephanie to end our friendship.
Thanks for the input.
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