Aug 12, 2010
I went to see the neurologist last friday. Unfortunately it was not the news I wanted to hear. According to the doctor I am suffering from Hyperventilation Syndrome and Rapid Eye Movement. Something to do with my body chemistry being all out of whack during hyperventilation. Apparently there's nothing he can do. He gave me a few tips and some breathing exercise instructions but that's about it. I was hoping it was a quick fix. An instant cure. Stupid me to think that it would be that simple. It looks like I am stuck with the facial spasms and the overall muscle twitching for God only knows how long. These maladies are taking over my life. I can't enjoy myself like I use to. I have almost rearrange my life around the spasms. I don't know if the doctor diagnosed me correctly or not. Maybe in the end it may be worth it if it would put an end to these darn spasms.
I've had a few more facial/neck spasms rock me out of my dream state. Yesterday I had a dream that I was stocking merchandise when all of a sudden I hear the Star Spangle Banner. I stopped what I was doing; perplexed on whether to honor or salute the flag or not. After much deliberation I decided to show respect to the flag. So I turned and looked up at the small flag mounted to the wall. I had my right hand on the top of my head for some reason. I seriously thought that it was the proper way to show respect. Then I came to realize it wasn't and finally put my right hand over my heart. As I did this two males (one older and the other younger) walked past me and the younger male wordlessly implied that it took me long enough to get it right. Like he was signaling that I was an idiot. That didn't settle well with me, so I went to confront him. I remember telling him that I know how to pay proper homage to the American flag because I was in the military and that he had no right to try and tell me how it was done. The older male was adding more fuel to the fire by telling the younger man to not take any of my mouthing off. That made me even angrier. The next think I remember, I had my hands around the young man's collar. We both were on the ground and I was really yelling at him. I don't remember what I was yelling but I know it wasn't pretty. Then I felt a pain on the right side of my face and neck and I snapped out of my dream into the harsh reality that I was having another facial/neck spasm. The spasm lasted a few minutes. Hearing went out in my right ear but returned after the spasm. This is my fourth dream in the past month that I have suffered a facial spasm. It's bad enough that I have them when I am awake. They have to plague me during my sleep to. I can't get any peace from these spasms.
I had a facial/neck spasm today also. They are becoming more frequent. I thought today was going to be a good day. I got off from work and was waiting for my ride to take me home. I was waiting by her car as she chatted with another co-worker. It was pretty warm outside and I was not comfortable at all. My face started to have all these weird sensations. It felt slightly tight around my eyes and wrapped around to my ears. Plus there was some minor twitching around both eyes. When I got home a few minutes later and stepped out of the car, the tightness around my eyes got worse to the point it felt like my whole face was going to spasm. Luckily it didn't. I got into the coolness of my apartment, the tightness calmed a few minutes later with very little twitching around the eyes. I thought that would be it for the day. NOPE. About an hour and a half ago, I got up from my chair to get something to drink and to check on my tv dinner in the microwave. Afterwards, I turned to head back to my seat. I felt a line of pressure from above my right eyebrow to the front of my scalp. I stuck the spoon I used to stir my tv dinner in my mouth and then the spasm hit. Once again I had little to no hearing in my right ear. I had a near spasm a few minutes after the full spasm. I felt the same line of pressure above my brow to the scalp before it happened. I experienced what seemed like twitching in my right nostril. I don't think that has happened before. I know I've heard some slight "popping" in my right nostril before. My right eyebrow was twitching like crazy before, during, and after both spasms today. A small area of neck muscle on the far right side twitched or bulged in and out for about 10 minutes. I felt a pressure in my right ear during the near spasm and it continued after the near spasm released. My hearing in my right ear was dimming in and out and still is as I type this entry. I hear a "crunching" sound in my right ear everytime I swallow.
This past year has not been good to me. Everyday I wonder, what else can go wrong? I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I already suffer from depression. Everything that is happening to me is causing me to fall deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. I don't know if I will be able to fight my way back up again. I just wish this will all go away.