I keep dreaming about the night that I saw my Dad holding a gun to my Mom's head. I keep thinking about the fact that my Dad raped (mentally, physically, and emotionally) her and that's why I'm here. I feel like I'm the one to blame for everything that's gone wrong in her life since 1986.
Maybe if I weren't here, that night wouldn't have happened. If I weren't here, she wouldn't have had to deal with him and his anger or abuse. If I weren't here, she'd be healthy. Maybe?