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Aug 16, 2010 - 10 comments
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Family Issues

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Pregnancy

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stress



Where do I even begin with the issues I have with my in-laws. OK so before I even told my hubby we were expecting his evil cousin holly badgered it out of me. I explained to her we were waiting until the 2nd trimester to tell anyone and I expected her to keep it in confidence which she agreed to and said she understood. Well this past Saturday was my first wedding anniversary. We wake up that morining to a text message saying that she actually told my hubby (jason)'s mom over a month ago and she is very angry with us for not telling. Let me start out by saying ourt pregnancy is OUR BUSINESS!!!! Not anyone elses and we absolutely have the right to tell people when we feel we are ready. On top of all of this she went on and told his whole family on his moms side leaving us with absolutely no choice but to make our round of phone calls as quickly as possible in order to atleast be able to announce the news to some people. I feel so robbed of my opportunity to be excited about this now. Especially with everyone all mad at us. We still have yet to talk to Jasons mother. We have decided since she already has known for a long time that whats the point in rushing to make the phone call now. She is up north camping anyways. It is just so utterly annoying that his family is like that. On top of all my horrible sister in law says "she wants nothing to do with me but she does want to be part of her neice/nephews life. Doesnt she realize the person she wants to be a part of is growing inside MY body!!! She will neevr be an aunt to my child in my opinion. What a horrible person. I have been under an incredible amount of stress due to this. Thank goodness my husband is so wonderfully supportive and I have a great family backing us. Sorry for all this and it may not make any sense but I just needed to vent...

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by Cassandrajane, Aug 16, 2010
What did you Hubby say about it??
I agree it is your business, I am sorry you didn't get the chance to share your fantastic news with everyone. It's just not the same when someone else tells everyone basically.
Have his family always had a problem with you?? I think you should dosh your SIL in the mouth. Why is it SIL's are always just ARGH! And GRRRRR.

Have you explained to her and things that you wanted to wait untill the second trimester incase of something going wrong and then you'd have to tell everyone bad news instead of goodnews and you only told his cousin to shut her up!!

I am sorry this has happened.. :(

x

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by lil_lady25, Aug 16, 2010
Aw hun, i'm sorry to hear that this has happened. I would call his cousin and tell her the stress that she has now put on you and now his family is all mad at you. What a B^&%$!!!!! I remember you told me a while back that you had told her unwillingly and you were nervous about her telling then. It just ***** that she couldnt keep her fat mouth shut. It's no ones business except for yours and Jasons!! So if his mom has known about this for a month now why didnt she have the guts to call and ask you guys if it was true? She was probably going to wait and see how long it would take for you to tell her. That's pretty immature of her in my opinion. I would say screw em all and just be excited about sharing the news with your family and your friends. His family just wants to suck the excitement out of your guys' lives and I wouldnt stand for it. Keep your head up hun, never forget kharma is a B&^%* and they will find that out. Haha i'm super fiesty today!!

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by rbohl01, Aug 16, 2010
Thanks for your support ladies.
His sister has always been against me but not the rest of the family. The issue is they have all been together on a camping trip for a week and we didnt go. Its like an army of his family against just me and my husband. His mom is a bit immature and two-faced. I will get over her being ticked off but I cannot get over what his cousin has done and the way his sister is. It makes me so sad that our lives have to feel so destructive because of them. I guess like Jason said we will just be our own little family and if they dont like it then they dont get to be a part of it. its funny when people show there true colors. I grew up in a family that is virtually drama free and very open-minded. This is still very new to me to have a family with so much drama and trash talking. Its really weird to because my husband is sooooo nice and sweet and sooooo not like the rest of them. I guess I got the prize =)

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by Cassandrajane, Aug 16, 2010
SIL's who needs them....

Just punch his sister in the face, I am close to doing that to my SIL....

It's lovely your husband is there for you.. Its not fair that his family are being like this. What are your family saying? I bet they wanna sock his family for the way they are... :(

try not to stress over it. Because like you said, You got the prize. And Maybe he's adopted if he is really nice and they aint?? LOL...

Just smack them...

xx

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by onyxangel, Aug 16, 2010
Omg girl Tell me about it. I cant believe that she would do something like that. Did you confront her or did your hubby do? I think you should It's not right. I am just like you I like keeping me and my husband's family unit just that me and my husband and I too come from a stress free family where as his family is like your husbands drama drama and if there is none they'll create it. At times like this You and Jason need to turn to each other because at the end of the end only the people under your roof are who matter. I had issues with my Sister in law, where she destroyed this family (my husband's side) making people turn against each other. Well needless to say now that the dust has settled everyone realized who was the culprit behind all this destruction and no one will talk to her.  

Do you think this girl is jealous of you. I think we all need to go with our gut instinct something told you to be nervous and this is what was happening behind the sence alway always go with your inner voice this B*tch was so wrong. At this point what is done is done. If they want to be mad let them wallow in their own self pity you are soooo above that garbage!!

Good luck hun, I know exactly what you are going through I had a fun time sorting out the drama last week ALL WEEK.
Chin up hunnie "this too shall pass"
((hugs))


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by ConnieG, Aug 16, 2010
ooohhhh I'd wanna punch her..... lol
What a jerk. I hate it when people force information from you anyway and then use it against you. That's so wrong.
My initial reaction would be to wait to announce when you planned on it.  And if anyone gets mad before just say that your plan was to tell people just as you did, someone decided to pull information from me I wasn't comfortable sharing yet and then told everyone else.  And I asked her not to tell but she did not respect my privacy. I'm sorry if this has upset you it certainly wasn't my plan.  
I'm just not sure if I would wait, or call right away.  You just never know how many people know at this point.
It will all work out in the end. I'm sorry she was such a jerk.  People just don't consider other peoples feelings enough these days.


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by rbohl01, Aug 16, 2010
We ended up announcing to Jasons dads side of his family yesterday and told the kids as well. I just wanted us to be able to announce to someone, ya know??? I just wish it didnt have to come down to this. I just dont understand why people cannot respect others decisions and privacy. Now if something goes wrong everyone is going to know again and it is going to be a whole big nightmare all over again. I am just not sure I can take that. Not telling people was our way of protecting ourselves. Thank goodness I have made it to week 10. I hope I can hear the heartbeat at my Dr appt Wednesday to put my mind to ease. God knows all the stress my poor baby has gone through already in his/her short existence. I am just going to take things one day at a time, try to relax, and remember that other people don't matter at this point.

Thanks for everyones support and agreement. Sometimes I wonder what have I done so terribly wrong to deserve this treatment and I am just completely blank...

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by Cassandrajane, Aug 16, 2010
Don't be upset if you cant hear the heartbeat btw. Because it can be hard to find before week 12..:) But everything will be okay. Cassie promises. Have some Pixie Dust. Far better than baby dust...

What are your side of the family saying or dont they know...
His cousin could have posted it on Faceebook... That might have been worse.

My SIL always has drama in her life. Some randomer on Facebook, says her Staus's have more drama and are more exciting than Eastenders.... (A drama thing on Tv)
Familys....


x

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by DollFacePR, Aug 16, 2010
So Sorry to hear you're going through this. This is a critical time for you and your baby, so turn the page, and be as your husband says, your own little family. Your baby is a blessing and whoever wants to be part of this blessing, welcome. Whoever doesnt is their loss...!

Just breath and feel the love of those around you that only want the best for you. This is your time to feel loved and pampered.

Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy ....!

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by bfromthed, Aug 21, 2010
Easier said then done but please dont stress I think that was a big issue with me worrying too much! Your husband is your biggest support and you finally got what you had been trying hard to get! The in laws are "second nature" and are on the back burner as you and your dh are procreating! That little being in you is the most important thing to worry about and know when you stress its stressed so totally not worth it. People try and steal your joy!

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