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August 2ww updates

Aug 30, 2010 - 6 comments
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august 2010

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2WW

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no symptoms yet

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no symptoms

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8dpo

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watery cm

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negative hpt



8dpo and nothing really....today my CM has gone for practically nothing to watery. Boobs are still a "LITTLE" sore but typical for pms symptoms. I am snack hungry 24/7..but again, very normal pms symptom for me. Broke out last weekend on my face :( Cant read ANYTHING from my temps. They are all over the place. I couldnt help the temptation to test...it was sitting there in the drawer STARING at me ...so I did a hpt..and it was totally bfn. The story of my life for 8mos now. Seeing just one line is such a letdown..:(

Found out today a friend is pregnant with her 2nd. She started trying a little after me :( Frustrating because you cant help to look at yourself and go "whats wrong with me? What am I doint wrong"

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790669_tn?1392994148
by Des_a_rae, Aug 30, 2010
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know exaclty how you feel and it's a misreable place to be. That one line, spotting and knowing that AF is right there in your face. It's awful!  
You're only 8 dpo so that's a good thing. :) This really is frustrating. I wrote a journal entry myself about feeling broke inside.  It's a shame but I honestly feel like I can't even pay to get pregnant. And like yourself, right now there are pregnant people all around me. It makes me so jealous and sad and then I feel guilty for being angry and jealous. My cousin is due anytime.  Then my other cousin on my moms side is WOW PREGNANT! Go Figure and now I find out today that a friend of mine is going to be an aunt again. She was so happy telling me and all I could sit there and think about was " wow really, and you're telling me this why??".  I felt sad, angry, jealous and now I feel bad for feeling that way. I'm happy for each and every one of them, there's no about that but I still sit here and feel broke inside.  We are allowed to feel this way and we honestly shouldn't have to but if that's what it takes for us to carry on then so be it!  I'm sitting here wishing you all the best in the world!  I would love to sign in on MH and see a post of yourself saying you're pregnant as well as all the other wonderful women on here!  I know we have struggled. And I'm not saying we deserve it more than the other women out there but I feel closer to you all than all the "other" women out there.  I had to explain to my cousin (who is due anytime) about how lucky she was. To get pregnant right off the bat. She says she understands how hard it is for me and she's always asking how I'm doing and what did the dr. say and things like that. I love her like she's my lil sister but I'm still jealous. It's okay for me to feel like that. She don't rub it in my face but she also knows I'm ECSTATIC about it. I can't wait to hold her beautiful precious baby. We all will have our time. :)  Some a little longer than others but we know we'll spoil them absolutely rotten!!  :P I hope you feel better soon!!! :)

Btw, that's some good signs!! :D

1339395_tn?1317267421
by Ricki128, Aug 30, 2010
Thanks Des_a-rae
Yep...everything you said above...exactly...Both my stepsisters (my age too 29/32) are both pregnant right now, due beginning of next year...and we were all trying at the same time. I have a good support system of friends but I feel like such a debbie downer talking to them about it all the time...(im sure it gets old to them)
pLUS my job is slow right now so I have ALL this idol time...to THINK...worry! lol

This month I TOTALLY thought I had it right on the head...Im trying to stay positive..but theres only so much you can do...

How long have you been TTC?


1217293_tn?1396839737
by Risa615, Aug 30, 2010
Desarae & Ricki,
Makes no sense why young women like yourselves aren't getting pregnant! You both have nothing wrong with you! I didn't even start trying until I got married at 38 and at 39 I found out I had a high fsh level and got all the bad news that goes with it.  Now I am 41.

So, I want to wish you both success real soon! You both found the right guy at the right time, so now a baby would just make it perfect!  What I can say is a girl on medhelp emailed me back 5 months ago wanting to know my story with trying to conceive and she was ready to give up, and she got her BFP two months ago! She is 39, so keep the faith!!

As for me, I am going to keep trying and praying I can get prego this cycle or next. I find myself having trouble planning for next summer since my dh is having a family reunion in Texas and I do want to go, but I am hoping and praying I have just had a baby or a baby on the way.  My mom go prego with me just after Sept 14, and she had me June 15.  So, I keep thinking it could happen for me.

Anyway, I was just at a family picnic and my cousins kids are have kids! It is hard because they are in their 20's and they had some cute little ones for everyone to play with.  I so was imagining what it would be like, and I am just glad no one asked me about my situation.  

Sending you both baby dust from CA!
Risa

1386249_tn?1303095696
by shuga1109, Aug 30, 2010
You are still young.  There is a lot of time for you yet.  I understand how you feel totally.  I have no children with my fiance, whom I love dearly.  Its difficult, I know.  I can't even look at pregnant women walk by me, or on tv.  I look the other way and my fiance knows why.  I don't hassle him, but he knows I hurt.  I feel your pain.  Be patient.  God will take care of you.  When you least expect it, it will happen!  I stopped taking HPTs because of the dissappointment every month.  I am sprinkling lots and lots of BD your way!

790669_tn?1392994148
by Des_a_rae, Aug 31, 2010
That's all you can do is try.  Keep your head up and try to stay positive. I know it's extremely hard but that's all we can do. :)  I've been married for 11 yrs and been trying for almost 7 of those.  It's a very stressful place to be. I always thought it would just be so "easy".  For some it is but not for me. I'm just really glad I found this website. I know the women on here truely understand where I'm coming from.  I love to read posts on here because it helps me learn and I really love reading the replies because sometimes those replies help me push on. :) Alot of wonderful women here!  I feel the same way at times on here because I don't talk to my family about it. They can't relate. My gosh I only dream of being as fertile as the women in my family are!!  lol. I'm not greedy by no means. I'd love to just have ONE!  :)

Thank you so much Risa!  I told my grandfather one day, he had asked me when was I planning on having children ( I was around 13 or 14 at this time and he was goofing around) and I told him when I got married and was around 25 or 26.  He was proud and said " that sounds like a wonderful plan".  Unfortunately I lost my grandfather 6 months after I got married and was never able to show him a great grandchild.  Although it would be wonderful to show him HERE, I know he's up there and he will see one day. :)  I took for granted all those yrs of trying NOT to get pregnant and sometimes I regret it. I often think that if I had tried then maybe I would be pregnant now or even have a child or 2 by now.  It's been hard dealing with that. If there IS something wrong, I wished I would've tried sooner and maybe they could've found and fixed it yrs ago.  I just regret it really. :(  Anyways, we do have to move on and hope for the best. That's what i'm trying to do and at times it seems as though it's never going to happen. I grieve in a sense and then try to pick myself up again. :)   We will be there one day!!  I wish you all the best of luck and send some of that super sticky baby dust your way!! :D   And Risa!! I pray you have a baby or at least pictures to take with you to that family reunion!! :)

1217293_tn?1396839737
by Risa615, Sep 01, 2010
Desarae,
Sounds like you had a good relationship with you grandpa.  You are lucky, my grandparents passed way before I married. Send me an email and fill me in on what you have been doing to get pregnant for the past 7 years.  I have learned so much on medhep, my REI office, and acupuncturist(Nancy), so I can give you some more tips on email.  I agree, I grieve too and the article I told people to read on Self.com really goes into our emotions with trying to conceive. No body really understands unless they have been there.  Nancy says we have to be positive, so keep the faith alive!
Risa

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