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Day 1

Sep 07, 2010 - 0 comments
Tags:

day 1

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Pain

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Depression

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chronic

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lathergic



After realizing that I am in the bowls of becoming, if not already, dependent on hydrocodone I have chosen to stop. Today I woke up around 6am with my normal body aches. I can't remember if I took a dose or not - I am a deep sleeper and my memory has only become more fuzzy since being on this ****.  Let's say I did.(which would be common.) I re-woke around 9:30 am, not wanting to get up, and feeling really groggy and depressed. I have been waking up a lot like this lately. I don't feel like myself and the pain only makes my mood more horrid. I told myself I was not going to take anything in the morning. Well, I did. So when the afternoon rolled around four hours had passed since my first dose and I started feeling incredible pain. To the point where I can't focus, concentrate and sometimes even read. It's really really freaking me out.  The back story is, I was hit as a pedestrian, three years ago, by a delivery truck. The accident snapped my femur and left me with a titanium rod, two screws in my knee and a pin in my hip. I chose to have the screws and pin removed last Oct. and have since had less pain.  During my post opt I stayed on perocet for 2 weeks and then stopped. No problem.  My pain started reoccurring in my lower back this past January. It was so chronic that I started experiencing depression to the point of finding myself passively suicidal.  I found a good physical medicine doctor at mayo clinic and started taking my treatment/hydrocodone/physical therapy in April.  

I worked with my internist prior to going into physical medicine and tried a slew of things from ultram ER, fentanyl patches, and various other NON NARCOTICS.  As much as I knew a narcotic would zap my pain I was determined to find an alternative and more healthier approach. Unfortunately, my pain became so severe that I need to start taking hydrocodone to function.  Now it's been over 5 months and I am noticing a huge difference in my behavior and psyche.  I am having a very difficult time concentrating and my judgment is always cloudy. I am also noticing that I am moving at a more latheragic and annoyingly slow pace.

After rubbing some icy hot on my back and brewing some green tea I started actively researching a detox plan - which led me here.

It's 4:11 right now and I have taken 2 10/650 Hydros. I usually take about 4-6 a day depending on my pain level. My goal is to not take anymore, at all, today.  Then either the same (2) or even shoot for 1 tomorrow and by Thursday be off entirely.



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