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Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 38

Sep 27, 2010 - 210 comments
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tramadol

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Recovery

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ultram

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Healing



Good Morning Tramadol Warriors!

Welcome! So happy to see all of you, and welcome new friends.

This is a good place to be if you want to get off Tramadol ...


You can do it!



Love and Healing,
Emily



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by bodegirl, Sep 27, 2010
Thank God for this place!

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by time2stop, Sep 27, 2010
Hi Beth,

Funny you ask as I had two reactions....I would get this warm, sleepy, happy in the world feeling and then it would move to a slight mania where I could do something.  Most of the time, I had no energy to comlete my work or house chores, or to even do day to day things.  It was like I was in a dream (granted I put me there!).  At first I lost some weight (about 15 pounds as sleeping was more important than eating).  I also was on Prozac (not a good thing to take with this), trazadone (really not good to take with all of ths).  I was over medicated for sure.

Right now I am in withdrawel.  I am trying to work and it is very difficult...heart racing, trembling, no concentration, weird body sensations...but I have to for my line of work.  I do have to drive in a few hours which is not a great idea but I cannot get off my shift and I can't take time off work easily.

I also can feel a great deal of anxiety creeping up (some realistic, some not) and I find myself very bored and like there's nothing in life ...hard to explain...as almost the drug put me in a non relaity thinking place and now, more clear headed, all the life's problems are here crystalized and it's overwhelming.

But, I have made a promise to keep going as I swear, the last two years of my life were just medicated away.  And I am not getting any younger!  :)

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by time2stop, Sep 27, 2010
Beth,

Sorry, I didn't answer your question:  Yes, Tramadol.  What I usually did is to take the maximum amount (400mg) at one sitting because the interval dosing never did much for the pain.  The maximum (8/50mg) would allow me to sleep and not feel the pain.  So, this aspect of the drug was fabulous but when it wore off, the pain was back and I was fuzzy minded and just useless.  I also suffer from insomnia so this was a very comfortable arrangement I had with myself.  The only problem is that all I would want to do is get off work early (or not work) and get in bed and sleep.  Great escapism, I know.  The reality factor is that I work for myself and I saw my work quality shift to lesser and everyday was the same:  sleep.  I stopped seeing friends, I had no interest in things I once had an interest for, and my healthy-toned-happy body turned into marshmellow.  OH!  And I forgot to add to my drug list that I am also taking Ambien (this is the only drug I will be on as everything else I stopped).  I know Ambien has it's own little issues but for right now, the Tramadol is the medication that I need to end.  

Needless to say, thanks for your response.  This forum is amazing as I never thought so many people would be having issues with this drug.  I do see that 2010 PDR has changed a great deal of information for doctors but it still is not enough if so many people are having serious, addictive problems.



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by ria424, Sep 27, 2010
Hi,   I just found this forum by accident.  I've just started taking Tramadol for my chronic pain from a syrinx in my spinal cord.  your comments scared the bi-jeezes out of me.  didn't know this was so addictive.   I stopped taking Lyrica cause it made me high all day  and totally non productive.  is this what i have to look forward to if i stay on Tramadol ?

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by mamakpd, Sep 27, 2010
50 days free............

A long history of abuse of tramadol behind me. Each day does come easier, although I still suffer from some RLS, and some anxiety. The history and length behind me may be the cause for that. All in all I would not turn back. I read the new posts and the majority of people that are being told this is non addictive just astounds me, how does this happen?
How are these prescribing DR's doing this? I didn't have a doctor I had a website of my own abuse, and they still haven't given up... always calling sending email It really makes me believe that the hammer is coming down on the dispensing of this medication. My energy levels have increased and I remember thinking please when will this end. But it does and some days you don't even think of it and some days well.....  I do know that in my begining post someone made me choose to believe mind over matter.... (thank you) and it really does help. As much as you don't think you have the strength to do this and do the things that will benifit you through this YOU DO, and then one day when you do it without even having to think about it  ...... the tunnel is finally behind you. I know that it takes a lot, and in the beginning you are thinking I cant do this but if you want to it can be done. Many years I fought with this addiction, and the past 6 weeks have been long and hard but SO worth it. I am not saying its over, but I feel like I have come a long way in taking care of myself. I feel relief , normal,  free,  the adjectives I could go on with including the negative.
Strength and hope to all out there.....
Mama K

PS   Thinking hard and wishing you the best delivery day Blessedmommy   can hardly wait for your next post....
        

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by Tripper_, Sep 27, 2010
Hi there everybody I miss you all. Hope everybody is holding up, stay strong warriors...
Trip

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by bethwillprevail, Sep 27, 2010
Congrats on 50 days Mama K!!   I am almost at 40 days, and feel the same as you.  It really is better all the time.  You have to learn how to live not thinking about taking another pill all the time.  It is a big change, and now I see myself starting to not even think about it for periods each day when I am busy.  My energy has ups and downs, but it is increasingly better.  It is sooooo worth it to get off those pills and live truly present in my life again.  I too was an internet purchaser and friend of the Fed Ex man who would happily bring my pills to my office for $18 extra (or more) .  I wonder how I got into this tram trap?? It happened so slowly that it just hooked me in over time and then....well the rest is history- of counting pills, making sure I had them with me, inability to sit still and work, undercurrent of anxiety all the time, searching for pills in all my secret hiding places (everywhere), waiting anxiously for the next time to take my next dose,  and feeling more pain than I had before.  Then after several attempts to quit I thought- when AM I EVER going to get off this stuff- will it be when I am 80??  Do I want to keep this up forever??  Do I want to waste the one chance I have at life taking these pills?? My answer was NO and I got very angery that these pills had taken over my life.  I planned out my taper and got things in place so I could get off.  Took a few days off work (I was lucky to be able to work at home) and now I am almost 40 days off!!  YOU CAN DO IT!!  I was on them a very long time.  No guilt- just be angry and start TODAY on your path to freedom from tramadol prison.  

Blessedmommy- I have been praying for your safe delivery today!!  Hope you and baby are doing well!!

BE STRONG TRAM WARRIORS!!  YOU CAN BE FREE!!  Start today on your journey!  It is soooo worth it.

Beth

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by Sweetstang, Sep 27, 2010
DAY 30............

Blessedmommy...hope you and baby are well!!! Congrats!!

MamaK-Congrats to 50 days!

Everyone else, there are so many of us, I wish you all the best of luck!

I wish I was that strong though, I can't stop wishing I had some trams to take. I have not yet reached that point where I no longer crave those darn things!  I work in 2 hospitals and am reminded of it daily. Even performing my job where prior I would have a horrid day, have a hard case, it was busy, whatever the reason and looked so forward to those trams as I "earned them"! Still struggling with the headaches, but my Neuro. MD wants to increase the Amitriptyline.  Still kinda low energy at times, but headaches are the biggie right now and the physical addiction I need to get past!

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by amberdylz, Sep 28, 2010
hi ve been on tramadol for nearly 4 months bu theyre not working on the amount of pain im in does anyone no of a good slighty stronger replacment that isnt fentanyl patches hav  tried them also for nearly a yr until they stopped working and the side effects got worse any suggestions id be most grateful :)

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by Tripper_, Sep 28, 2010
Amberdylz, why don't you ask your doctors for some co-codamol bro., I used it for my leg back when I was in London. It is really good for the pain.
Trip

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by coach1879, Sep 29, 2010
Day 25 here....starting to get a normal feeling...Headaches at 2:00 p.m. every day..Not sure if sinuses or WD...Anybody else with this issue? Energy getting better every day & so is attitude. Good luck everyone!!!!



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by Beckles73, Sep 29, 2010
Hello survivors, I have been reading everyones fantastic and insightful posts for 12 days now, and deceide to post something.  I have been under this demon pills charms for about 15 years now.  I was first given Ultram when it was so fresh & sparkling new on the us market, 1995, I was 22..I can still remember the doctor handing me the rx and saying how fantastic this new drug was, "non-addictive, not like other pain killers" (I have deg disc dis in L5-S1) b/c the usual pain pills made me sick, "so here you go young one, enjoy" wow, now speed up to now, age 37 and finally SICK of these monsters.  This is embarrassing to admit, but I know every single person here will understand, I have been arrested 2ce now b/c of this demon drug...I know I am to blame for going about in illegal means to obtain them, but the thought process in our brains while taking this poison is something so tragic and surreal.  I went cold turkey off of them, b/c I was in jail, so no taper for me, but do feel now ON DAY 14!!!!! that was the only way for me.  

For so long I have felt I would never ever be able to live without them, but since I had 3 days in the most horrendous conditions, and no choice but to go c/t, wow, what a eye opener(that is def an understatement) I had about pills 30 in my purse when I got home, but my mom found them and made me flush them down the toilet (ever want to drink toilet water, anyone? no, well I did at that fleeting moment) and that made me realize again, WTF? I want to drink the toilet water these demons are swimming in, I swore I saw one wave at me and say, Come on! The water feels fine! OMG, I have stooped to such awful and extreme measures b/c of this pill, that now at 14 days Tram free, I honestly do not know who that person was.  I do have to put in that in 2002, I did go to rehab, and was clean for about 4 years.  I then got sick and had to have major neck surgery, and of course, could not take the "normal" pain meds, so it was back onto round 2 of tramadol. When I first started them, I was taking ALOT! Prob 20-30 a day.  I slept my life away basically.  Then the 2nd time, I told myself, ok, these pills make me feel good, why is that so wrong? So did keep it in check with the max dose of 8 pills a day.  But it is all lies we tell ourselves so we don't feel like absolute crap about taking them, or starting yet again.  I know now, that for some freakin reason I cannot, cannot EVER again take this crap, my brain loves it too much, because then it does not have to WORK, I cannot believe how numb I was making myself, when you take them you think you are doing the exact opposite, it is nuts!

Onto my w/d symptoms, yes day 1-3 SUCK, my day 4 & 5 were actually ok, but then day 6,7,8 were worse then day 3 for me, I have no idea why, but they were.  I actually stopped taking Tylenol Pm &/or Unisom when stopped the Tram, b/c as we all know, if we took that tram too close to bed time, we would be UP, so had to take something to counteract that, to try and sleep, so none of that and no coffee.  my first days I was so hypersensitve to smells, I thought I was superhuman, that is no exageration either, but they were so overwhelming!  Also, super sensitive to caffeine, hence why I had to stop it.  On day 11 I broke out in HIVES all over my body, the strangest feeling ever throughout every limb.  Tried looking to see if this was apart of tramadol w/d, and guess what i found, it IS a symptom of Effexor w/d, which we all know is trams chemical twin (just no opiate)...the next day, I felt different, no more crawling out of my skin feeling FINALLY...Music and exercise and SUN help wonders.  luckily I live in Florida, where there is plenty of it and it is free...I walk everyday, and keep those earphones and mp3 player on, I am not sure why music you love works, but it DOES, just get lost in the music you love, it helps, or get angry with it, whatever works!  

well here it is DAY 14 Tramadevil free...I thought I would be taking this for the rest of my life, but I am finally seeing that it was all a figment of my tramadol mind & imagination...I could put in so much more behaviors this has caused, stories and the like, but honestly, I am so sick of even thinking about them, that I just want to think about the new behaviors and storis from this day forward being free.

Every single person on this fight is a true hero, to yourselves #1   this war *****, but you will I PROMISE see better days.  Not only are you physically w/d'ing, but the psycho crap is there too, at certain times of the day, I still feel like I have to reach in my purse for my UP dose, for whatever occasion that comes up, b/c you feel like you cannot do anything functional without a dose, GOD what a waste of human emotions and feelings! Keep strong everyone, and THANK you so much to everyone who even just posts a sentence, you are doing so much for everyone, and we all WILL DOMINATE this war.  Love and peace always

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by angelmoon, Sep 29, 2010
Hi everyone...yes coach, the headaches were a constant reminder of what I was going through.  I am on Day 57 and they are much better. Advil really helps. The fall allergy things are in full swing too, so I have found the kids dosage of the chewable claritin helped too.  One in the am and one in the aft if I had a headache.  I have not had the wd headaches in a while.  Yeah!   I had a bout with RLS just last night, but outside of that everything is feeling normal. I definitely am enjoying the freedom from the tram mania.  I did notice that caffeine in the afternoon contributed to the anxiety and the headache.

Hang in there everybody...the first few days are hard...the first few weeks seem endless, but they are not.  The depression lifts, the energy comes back and so does the wonderful feeling of really being yourself and realizing that for the first time in a long time you are thinking clearly and from a good place.  So blessed to have survived.  It is so worth it.  Even on day 23 I was feeling like it was day 5 but it turned a corner after that.  Don't give up!  Keep reading these posts.  They were a lifeline for me.  

much love and strength

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by blessedmommy8, Sep 29, 2010
HI ya all,
Carissah is here!!
I haven't had time to read through posts but I had a precious baby girl and all is perfect! She couldn't be more perfect and easy going! Alert, happy, content and so darn cute if I may say so myself!!
She was 7 lbs 5 ounces. My smallest baby but VERY healthy! Dr said she looks AWESOME!!
And I got an I told you so from my doc. LOL.
She is eating/sleeping like a champ.
Born Monday at 7:47 with an apgar of 9/9 and screaming! the ONLY issue we had with her is because she was csection she had alot of mucous in her lungs. I guess that gets squeezed out in the birth canal. so she was irpy the first 24 hours. I even got to go home about 27 hours after my csection. I BEGGED to leave because omgosh you cannot sleep there.
lol.

Doing awesome no desire for trams whatsoever! 29 days free!! WOOHOO.

Off to play with my baby and rest! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy and sooooo relieved!!!
And wishing all you new warriors the best of luck. It feels so good to be free. By about day 25 I felt "healed": for the most part!
Please know once you get past the first week it is mostly all up hill from there.

Love you all and thanks so much for rooting for me!!!

a very blessedmommy indeed!!

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by bethwillprevail, Sep 29, 2010
Blessedmommy- so good to hear that things went well for you and Carissah!!  I have been thinking about you and praying for your safe delivery!

Beckles....you are totally right on.  I was also ont hem for a long time.  You can read thru my journals, but after about 30 days or so, I have felt mostly better.  Still have an occasional PAWS symptom- just weird feelings, sneezing, anxiety, but now it is mostly gone.  It is a huge lifestyle change.  When you take pills for so long, you really have to learn so many new habits.  But it comes with time.  I am on day 42 (?) or so, and beginning to not think about it all the time.  Living my life now, not just thinking about when I can take another pill.  I am forever thankful for the people here who have shared their stories.  The thing is, we can NEVER touch trams again...NEVER!!  I believe if I took even a 1/4 pill, I would be back to where I was in a heartbeat.  Never go back there!!  Thats it really- we are on abstinence from trams forever.  Now do I miss the pills sometimes- yes a little, but even that is a lie the pills tell you.  Do they really make you feel better- NO!  they cause so much damange to your life and your relationships.  Use your anger at even that lingering lie to make you NEVER go back!!  

Coach- youre doing great!  Yes you will have this stuff some yet.  I am testing how I feel by the week now and I fell so much better STILL- every week.  Hang in there!!  Your headaches will soon be gone.

Angelmoon- I am right behind you.  I also found it took until just past 30 days before I felt pretty good.  I had heard that from several others.  Actually my day 30 was bad, but then after that I seemed to perk up.  

Be strong Tram warriors.  You can do it- one day at a time!!

Beth



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by Beckles73, Sep 30, 2010
Bethwillprevail - thank you for you words, and it is still so, i guess the word is astonishing, that it seems everyone that has had a devoted tramadol addiction goes thru the same BS with them...it is still amazing to me.  This poison is just that, and would have been the end for us if we just kept at it.  I so agree that if I took just some dust from one pill, I would be right back.  Just like alcoholics know they cannot even touch one drop of the stuff, or they will be right back, same for us.  It is strange that now my family and friends think I have to abstain from EVERYTHING, alcohol, benedryl or what have you, even coffee...they understand to a degree about the issue, but I have to keep telling them those things do not do what tramadevil did to me..now mind you, while going thru w/d, i have not touched anything else, except one night I took one benedryl to help sleep, that is it.  Vitamins, sun and excercie, I have to get my mind and body to function on its own again...but 6 months down the road, a glass a wine with dinner will be nice, but tell anyone that, who knows you are a tramadol addict, they think I will go right back to them.  so needless to say, a long road ahead just not for me, but for the people you do SUPPORT me, and thank god for that, but trying to get them to understand the true nature of tramadols evil grip is one to get worked out too.   Congrats on day 42! That is so freakin awesome, and cannot wait until I start seeing those higher numbers on my tracker - I WILL NEVER GO BACK, NEVER

Hope everyone has a fantastic Tram-free day, keep pushing forward, we will win!

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by Ashleywickers, Sep 30, 2010
I have to agree with you Beckles.... no one really understands the addiction to Tramadol except for those unfortunate ones such as ourselves, that had to go through it. My husband kind of laughs about it in a sense. I think he just thinks it ridiculous or something I don't know. To me and I am sure most of you this was serious to me, and it almost seems like everyone around me that knows me personally and knows about the addiction think it's some kind of joke. I don't know.... I don't really talk to people ( except on here ) about it anymore. So....anyways.... I am on day 12 ( I think ). My stomach pains have gone away, whatever they were from. I've heard talk about these brain zaps, and I am not sure what it is, but I have had this feeling, mostly when walking, and all of the sudden everything gets blurry for a short second with almost a dizzy feeling. Then my heart usually starts racing for a few minutes. Has that happened to anyone else? I don't know if that is related to WD or not, but it is the weirdest thing because my head almost twitches everytime AND it only happens when I am walking. It doesn't happen at all when I am sitting. WEIRD. My energy level is still a BIG FAT 0 ( ZERO, ZILCH ). I so wish it would return, I feel useless. I can't even keep up with laundry anymore, LOL. I used to do the laundry so often I would have a 1/2 load to do instead of 3 full loads at a time, LOL. I need my energy back please!!!! Ugh.... BUT overall I feel so much better, those first 3 days really are the worst. Nothing compared to the 1st day without one though. It was like my body knew I wasn't going to give it one that day and it was torturing me for it! I have never felt so bad, so sick, so much pain in MY LIFE as I did that day, it was a nightmare I couldn't wake up from, and I will never go back to that place again. That is just something I am not willing to put myself through again. Anywho... I am about to head out...I too Beckles am in Florida... and I don't know what part you are in but here in north eatern Florida it actually feels like fall and is GORGEOUS outside, no rain, and I would swear it's about 75 out there, nice and cool weather, and I am going out to enjoy it :)


Ok that will be it for now, I am just rambling at this point. I wish everyone the best of days and hope I can make it just as long as most of you have. One day :)

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by JennyP99, Sep 30, 2010
Hi Everyone - I found this forum today, and thought I would write my story for all of you to read, and of course for support.  I've had a lot of medical issues this year, they started in January when I passed two kidney stones (WORSE than childbirth for sure) then I had my wisdom teeth removed in February (painful complications), then I started feeling a LOT of pain in March and ended up being diagnosed with a bad gallbladder and had surgery to have it removed in April (months of internal discomfort).  Then I passed another kidney stone in August. While all of this was going on, my husband and I have both been unemployed, we had to file chapter 13 in June in order to keep our home, and are trying to raise our 16 month old BEAUTIFUL son.  I've been on and off several opiates over the past year, but a couple of months ago, I was prescribed tramadol.  I have addiction issues....so does my husband, over the past 5 years we've been on and off hydrocodone, and tramadol a handful of times and HARD withdrawals each time. With everything going on, we got sucked back into the dark world of tramadol.  We've both been taking them for almost 3 months, I was taking MUCH more than he was.  I was taking about 5 or 6 50mg pills a day.  And he was taking about 3 of them a day.  

Yesterday, something happened to me.  I have NO idea what happened, but it scared the heck out of me.  My heart started fluttering, i got really bad sweats and chills and became very weak.  I took my "normal" 5 pills, so i have no idea what happened.  The only thing I could come up with, is that the tramadol make me sick...that my body couldn't take it anymore.  I layed in bed last night, and this morning I woke up feeling like I was on my 3rd day of withdrawal.  What the heck is going on? No clue, but I've decided to stop taking them all today.  I took one this morning, because I was considering tapering, but it made me really sick again.  So after a heartfelt conversation (and lots of crying)with my wonderful husband, we have decided that we are DONE with them FOREVER.  We brought the rest of the pills into the bathroom and flushed them.  My husband put 6 of them aside, so that he can be somewhat functional (to take care of our son and dogs) over the next few days while I am going through the awful early withdrawal.  Then when I am somewhat able to function again, he is going to go through the withdrawal.  We made a pact...we are really done this time...for us, and more importantly for our son.  I can do ANYTHING for him.  I love him more than life itself.  I know this is going to be really horrible...but I'm going to try to be strong.  I really think it helps to read other people going through the same thing.  Power in numbers...the more people that can get of this awful drug the better.

I'm feeling awful already.  I can't regulate my body temperature.  I have a horrible headache, my legs are so restless and feel like they need to be stretched.  I am crying A LOT.  I feel very sad...sad that I got myself into this again, sad that I let this horrible drug take my life over again, I'm a parent now, my son deserves better than this.  It hurts me so badly to think of it.  I need to be strong, I need as much help as I can get.  I've been trying to drink a lot of water.  I'm crying now, so I'm going to try to lay down and relax.  Thank you so much for your support.  I appreciate any and all comments.  

Jenn


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by Beckles73, Sep 30, 2010
I am in tears after reading your post Jenn - I too have a a baby, she will be one year in 2 weeks, but going thru this w/d and being a single mom, she is the reason I move forward, all I have to do now is look at her beautiful face and know that I am going to be ok.  I am a single stay at home (for now) mom, and she has bascially saved me.  I too have no motivation nor energy, but she has to be taken care of, so I CANNOT just sit around and sulk, and that has been a life savor.  I am on day 15 of being tram free after a roller coaster ride with it for 15 years on, off, on, off, mostly on though.  I also have a 16 year old who knows everything I have done with tramadol, she has been through a lot because of her mama's addiction, and I cannot and will not do it to my little one.  I took tramadol while I was pregnant, not high doses, but I still did, and the guilt and shame I have with myself for that one is HUGE.  I am so scared that I have permenantly damaged her brain receptors as I have done to mine...luckily this is just my guilt issues, as she is healthy & just fine, but I will live with it forever.  I am doing this for not only me, but for my girls, and you should be soo soo proud of yourself that you have finally realized that enough is enough, as your husband too.  I really think you having your husband who understands this addiction, and is going thru it with you, will be a tremendous help.  ONe thing I do when I am at my lowest energy level during the day, is I take my little girl in her room, I lay on the floor and just let her play to her hearts content, even climbing me and pulling my hair, that pain actually feels soo good, b/c I am starting to FEEL again, so I will take the hair pulling any day over the numbess tramadol was inflicting any day.
Please take care and keep us updated - vitamins like B supplements, holy basil and drinking green tea all day have helped me, plus exercising and sun - you and your hubby can do this! Believe me, I was a hardcore devoted tramadol lover, if I can do it anyone can, trust me! Love and peace!

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by angelmoon, Sep 30, 2010
Jenn, there is a horrible sadness associated with the withdrawal from tramadol.  If you really read the literature it says "severe anguish" as one of the withdrawal symptoms.  That is exactly what I had.  I cried off and on for days.  Take hot baths if you can, cry, take vitamins, cry, cuddle with your little boy, eat whatever you want.  It helped me a lot.  The lack of energy was SO depressing...on top of the depression!  It does lift....hang in there. I started on 150mg of wellbutrin the day I quit  Read back on the history of all of the tram withdrawal posts and try to find someone who is on the same day you are on.  It helps so much. Don't beat yourself up...the poison of tramadol is NOT your fault. Day 26 was a breakthrough day for me.  Symptoms have returned less frequently and there really will be some good energy days soon. The withdrawal process is very non-linear; prepare for it. Think of the symptom days as storms.  Storms pass, the sun comes out. Count on it.

Ashlywickers.. I can so relate to the laundry thing, the dish thing, the vaccuming thing, the bill paying thing, the cooking thing...all that stuff that we do for our families.  Be gentle with yourself, that laundry will keep, girl.  Take is easy, be your best friend. I had tons of anxiety, shallow breathing and dizziness; none at all now.  Deep controlled in for a count of 5 out for a count of 10 breathing really helped those episodes. I confided in one close girlfriend, but not my husband.  I completely shut down for several days.  My hubby probably thought it was my hormones...oh well...we survived.

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by Beckles73, Sep 30, 2010
Ashleywickers - I am on the east coast, Melbourne FL - and it is absolutely gorgeous here as well - just got back from a walk, and I could of swore I smelled cinnamon in the air - finally fall weather.  Hopefully, this helps with the w/d, just go outside and breathe cool air is a great stress reliever.

Day 12, I must be honest, day 7,8,9,10 SUCKEd for me, day 3 was better, don't ask me why, but it was.  I get brain zaps, but I can only describe mine as feeling like you get the chills and your whole body shudders.  I have had no heart issues (actually I only got heart palpatations while ON the dang pills) I just can not get over after 15 days, I still feel like crap.  BUT i do see that my "good" feeling of normal, lasts longer each day, so that is a good sign.  I know I cannot expect full normalcy again in a snap, I did this to myself, and I will get thru it, we all will.  We all already took the first big step to stop, and what a huge giant leap that was in itself!

Your heart palpatating and dizziness worries me though, do you have a doctor &/or do they know you have stopped tramadol, or anything of the like? I would get a check up,, it could just be a panic attack or anxiety attack which I know is one symptom of the w/d's, I luckily have not had any of those, but I would play it safe.  Everyone is different and what certain damage these demon pills have caused on our bodies is unique to everyone I am learning.  Be safe and keep the fight on!

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by JennyP99, Oct 01, 2010
Thank you for your comments Beckles and Angelmoon.  Today is my first full day without tramadol... I haven't had one since yesterday morning so it's been 24 hours.  I woke up feeling god awful this morning and ended up crying for about 30 minutes.  Then I forced myself to come out and get a cup of coffee and visit with my son.  I force myself to NOT cry in front of him...I don't want him to see me like that, even though he's so young I'm sure he probably doesn't understand, I don't care though, I don't want him to see Mommy so weak. What is the worst for me, is knowing that this is going to get way worse.  I woke up feeling like i just can't do this...but I know I can.  My husband told me I can...I've done it before, and this is the very last time I ever will.  I just remember how weak I felt for how long, and how awful it was, and that makes me feel really depressed.  I feel like I don't have time to be so useless for so long.  I'm pretty depressed about this whole thing morning.  I just keep trying to tell myself that I CAN do this and I WILL do this...but it's not with a very strong voice this morning.  My husband is very supportive which helps a lot because he's been through this and will be going through this soon too.  I'm sorry I'm rambling so much, i just think it helps to randomly type out what I'm feeling.  Thank you all for your support it means a LOT to me right now.  

Jenn

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by MyFreedom, Oct 01, 2010
Good morning friends - I hope you are all staying strong and hanging in there!

blessedmommy ~ CONGRATS to you and your family on the new arrival!!!!! I am so proud of you!!! How does it feel to be over 30 days out?

To all the newcomers ~ Welcome! I know this is so tough for you. I have been there, too, but you can do it....I promise. I just passed the 6 month mark (191 days now). I have felt really good lately. It took me a long time to start to feel "normal" on a daily basis. I still have blah days, but not too many anymore. Just please allow your mind and body plenty of time to heal and remember, the longer you were on this crap the longer it will probably take you to heal. I was on tramadol for more than 7 years. I knew (and still know) that it's gonna take more than a few months to defeat a 7+ year habit. Also....Never forget how you are feeling right now. Accept it and trudge through it. Make sure you keep this experience close in your mind....that will help you to not go back to tramadol. I totally believe in finding your anger towards this drug. The anger changed everything for me. Before I stopped, I was scared of tramadol. I was scared of withdrawal, scared of living without it....but then I read Emily's words about getting angry with tramadol. From that moment on, I no longer feared tramadol.....I was ANGRY at it and what it had done to me!! I decided from that point on that it wasn't going to take any more of my time away from me!

I posted a verse a page or two back, but I thought maybe some of you that are in early withdrawal could use it...

1 Cor. 10:13
...God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Love and strength to all ~
:)

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by JennyP99, Oct 01, 2010
Well, here I am again, so soon after my last post.  I was doing really bad a little while ago...weak, crying, blaming my self, in the bathroom with the runs every 5 minutes.  I feel like screaming.  It seems to help me to lay down in my bedroom with the lights off when I get really worked up about everything and then turn on the TV in there and watch something i like on TV....like animal planet or NatGeo Wild.  If I do that for a little while, it usually puts me in a better place, where I can stop blaming myself for a little while and actually force myself to do something normal (like laundry or something) for about 10-15 minutes.  I actually forced myself to do a load of laundry and even put one away.  I poured myself a glass of Arizona Iced Green Tea and am laying down in the bedroom again.  The whole time I was trying to do the laundry, I kept saying out loud "I'm strong, I can do this, I can do this for my son, I can do this for my husband, I can do this for ME, I'm strong, I CAN do this"  I'm sure I sounded like a total lunatic, but it seemed to help me carry through for some reason.  I'm really dreading tonight...it's always so bad at night.  Trying not to think ahead...trying to just focus on now.  I said to my husband earlier "Ohhhhh god, I'm only 1 day into this hell..." and he said to me "no, you're ALREADY 1 day PAST it..."  He's so right...and I love him so much.  I thought that other people going through this might really take that outlook to heart, and hopefully it will help you through this too.  Love to all of you...i know we ALL can do this...

Jenn

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by Beckles73, Oct 01, 2010
Jenn, always remember the 1st day is hell...each day, even if just it seems like 1 minute of feeling better, each day brings a little better, and a little better - do you have a way to listen to music - I listen to my mp3 with headphones and listen to music that makes me SING and dance, that was the only way I got thru those 1st days - my neighbors must have thought I lost my mind, I was singing, and loudly all the time, but it made me feel so much better. YOU CAN DO THIS - this first day is the hardest, you know this, your body is craving, but only 2 more days, that craving subsides..yes, you will feel like crap, but like someone posted earlier, embrace this pain, endure it, let it make you angry, so you will remember what this tramadol has done to your brain and body to make you feel like this - you will feel better...inch by inch, you know you will sweetie - keep up the fight, everything you are doing is fine and don't feel bad if you have to just lay there and let the pain take you over, it is fighting its way out, and you are making it leave!!!!! Keep writing, it helps so much.  Positive vibes being sent your way, stay strong and YOU can DO THIS

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by JennyP99, Oct 01, 2010
Thank you so much Beckles...I'm such a disaster right now.  I can't stop crying...I wish I could make it stop.  I don't want to lay here...but I don't have enough energy or focus to do anything else.  I bought a photo album a few weeks ago to put all of my sons first year pictures in...I tried to sit here and go through them, but I couldn't even focus long enough to sort them, then I started crying hysterically because I can't believe I did this to myself with him in my life.  I just have no idea how I'm going to get through this.  Writing here, really seems to help a lot, so I'm sorry if I put way too many posts here.  I feel terrible, in the worst kind of way...I know everyone here understands.  I can't make the crying stop...I'm so incredibly sad.  I know the night is coming...and i'm so scared of that.  I am so angry that there is a drug out there like tramadol that is so easy to obtain...it's just not right, not right at all.  I'm going to try to get back to trying to watch my movie, even though I have to pause it every 10 minutes to cry hysterically. I'm in a really bad place right now. Thank you to everyone for your support.  

Jenn

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by jessamy88, Oct 01, 2010
I have so many questions. Why did these doctors tell me this was not an addicting medicine???? l have taken so many different pain medicines since l got sick, and have never in my life gotten addicted to anything, or abused a medicine.l don't even like how tramadol made me feel (major nausea) except way back in the beginning it did help the pain a little, and all the while l was getting addicted and didn't know it! How can the medical community do this to people? How can they do this to people? This horrible frightening intense anxiety! l never felt this in my life, and they told me l had a panic disorder and it wasn't from tramadol withdrawal because supposedly there is no such thing. Oh, somebody, somewhere please tell me this won't last forever!

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by Beckles73, Oct 02, 2010
IT WILL NOT LAST FOREVER, only if you keep taking the evil pill will it just keep going and going, never ending - You are going to make it to forever now b/c you stopped the pill ride -HOLD ON AND PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS INSIDE THE RIDE WHILE MOVING ONTO TRAMFREE-VILLE.

Jenn - just keep crying, that seems is your bodys way of letting it all go, that is actually good.  With the  depression I get, I cannot even force myself to cry, even when I know it will make me feel better.  So just sob and don't feel like your crazy b/c of it.  Just think of it was your body is finally being free, and crying for joy, now it can function like it used to!  Please stay strong - my 2nd day was pretty crappy, not trying to bring you down, you already know all this, I craved one tramadol so bad, but YOU CANNOT give in, you will just be starting all over!!! When I got to day 3, I knew that if I took one, it would not make me feel the way  I wanted it to, then I would have to take another and another, NO NO NO - You are doing great, and please keep us updated - All is going to be ok, you know it, your mind & sould knows this, your brain is just taking a little more time to catch up, but it will!

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by JennyP99, Oct 02, 2010
Last night was COMPLETE AND TOTAL hell....I have some low dose Xanax for anxiety attacks, never had a problem with getting addicted to those, I don't like feeling sleepy and that's all they do for me.  So, I took one last night to help me sleep and it didn't even help.  Up and down, up and down, up and down all freakin night. I did manage to get a couple hours of sleep...woke up this morning, had 2 cups of coffee and took 2 excedrin migraine which seemed to help make things a little more bearable.  Feeling very uncomfortable, but not crying hysterically, yet.  I even forced myself to walk down to get the mail.  The fresh air and sunshine felt nice.  I have an appointment to do outdoor family pictures this afternoon.  I made this appointment well before all of this...and pictures are SO important to me, so I'm going to FORCE myself to take a shower, get myself together, dress nice, makeup, all that good stuff and try with everything I have in me to look NORMAL and HAPPY for these pictures. I will feel worse if I don't go, and cancel the appointment, so i'm going to try with everything that I have in me to make this happen.  I CAN DO THIS!  I just want to be my normal self again.  It's funny, because I'm not even craving tramadol....not even a little.  I just WANT THIS TO STOP....and to feel normal again.  

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by angelmoon, Oct 02, 2010
Jen...it really is a desperate crawl out of your skin feeling.  Trying to stay busy when I could really helped distract me from that feeling.  Also, just giving up sometimes and laying in a dark room helped too. I also felt like a lot of real emotion was surfacing in the withdrawal depression. I prayed endlessly and kept telling myself I was going to win. I actually felt like I worked through some things during this.  It is a very raw place.  Your not craving right now and you are really starting to get mad at how you feel. That is a strengthening step. I vowed never to forget how crappy and sad I felt.

This drug is poison and it won't go without a fight.  You have survived the first 24 hours, congratulations!  Hang in there and don't give up.  I did take stuff to sleep...I found it helped and was a good escape and rest from the battle. That won't work for everyone but is did for me. Each day will bring more moments of feeling better.  It is real self love that you are stopping these things....that starts to really shore you up.  Be proud of yourself and be gentle with yourself.  When I felt helpless and hopeless I would sniff my little boys head and just look at him.  What an inspiration to keep going.  The worst really will be over soon.  Part of the lie of the drug is that you can't imagine ever feeling better again.  YOU WILL... and soon. Your soul and spirit are so resilient and want to be free.  Keep up the fight.  praying for you. much love and strength

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by jessamy88, Oct 02, 2010
Thank you Beckles 73! God Bless you, because when l saw "IT WILL NOT LAST FOREVER" it was like seeing a life preserver in the ocean. These doctors lie! And so do the drug companies! l wasn't an anxious, depressed ,crying,crazy person before this medication! How can they have told me it wasn't from tramadol? They made me think l was going crazy. l was on 8 pills of 50 mg a day. 2 every 6 hours for about 5 months. When will it get better? Does anyone know? Will l stop crying soon? l'm a mess. This site saved me. Thank you.

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by ImDONENoMore, Oct 02, 2010
Hi everyone,

I think its time I FINALLY post.  I've been lurking around these threads for over two months now, always holding back from posting.  I don't know why - I think probably because my husband would NEVER understand my need for this.  He thinks I should be all better by now and that I shouldn't need anyone's help.  He's wrong.  I do.

Yes, I have been tramfree for 67 days today.  I quit (the first time) on March 18, 2010 and promptly relapsed on May 17, 2010.  Stayed on both the tramadol and xanax for the next two months.  My second (and FINAL??) time quitting was on July 28th.

Everyone is right - it does get better, in some ways.  I do feel more like the old me in a lot of ways.  And the clarity - goodness - the clarity!!  I missed so much for so long.  I failed to mention that I'd been addicted to both xanax (for 12 years) and the tramadol (I think 5/6 years?  honestly don't know - was in a tramafog) and was a heavy user.  I know why I started - my father died suddenly of a heart attack on July 24, 1998 and my Mom was shortly thereafter diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.  She lasted another 10 years, slowly dying a little bit each day.  And I was the only child of hers (I have an older brother and younger sister - we were all adopted) that didn't walk away from her and her horrible battle with this debilitating disease.  I tried for so long to help her, to try and make her better.  Of course, I was kidding myself.  Nothing was going to make her better.  I could not stand by and watch what this horrible thing was doing to her without self-medicating -  I felt so weak and pathetic.  She was the strongest, wisest and most compassionate woman I ever knew and I was losing her.  It was the worst time of my life.  I felt like the floor had been removed from under me.  And I fell through.

I thought the only way I could deal with that pain was to numb myself out.  And I had myself convinced that it was working.  I was the "strong" one in the family.  The one everyone would come to to find out how my Mom, and our family, was doing.  They all relied on me to be there for them, and took for granted that they didn't need to help me help my Mom - that I would be able to do it for them.  Only no one was there for me.  My husband tried to be, but I was in too much pain to see it.

Anyway - now I'm rambling.  I'm sorry.  I just wanted to tell you all that in many ways, it does get better.  NOTHING takes the place of living in the moment, completely aware of your surroundings and being able to respond in a normal way.  Only, I still feel sad.  And restless.  Why???

60 plus days out.  Now what???  I still feel lost.  My Mom is gone and my mother in law just died about two months ago (right at the beginning of my 2nd attempt at sobriety.  Talk about being tested, huh?)  And I don't know what I'm supposed to do.  Now.  Help.

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by Beckles73, Oct 02, 2010
Jessamy - I would print out either posts from this site from the people that ARE GOING thru this imaginary tramadol withdrawal, that your doc seems to think is nothing...or research from the internet that Tramadol withdrawal is REAL and dibilatating - NO SUCH THING - wow, never wished something was more true than that statement. But know nothing is farther from the truth. This makes me so angry, I know what you are going thru, I have been trying to find a rehab center for myself, and EVERY single place usually has never even heard of tramadol, so how could someone be addicted to something they have never even heard of?!? It is mind boggling - they only recommend out patient services, where I would like to do at least a 30 day in patient - I was told the only way that that would happen is if I threatened to kill myself or injure myself, and then I would be baker acted. I am doing ok right now, and do see a substance abuse counseler on MOnday, but in patient is needed for a lot people coming off this drug.  More awareness needs to be brought to patients/consumers, hell even doctors it seems, about tramadol, this is insanity.  

I would go see your doctor first thing when you can, and bring along every thing you can find regarding tramadol and withdrawal from it.  Some people have freaking seizures coming off this poison, geesh! No such thing my arse!  Keep your self DILIGENT! I am going thru the Buddhist route right now to help, and this is one thing they truly believe, accept who you are, your faults, your greatness, just be DILIGENT in everything - man, how true that is - especially right now going thru this.  

I am on day 17, FREE!, I still feel crappy, but I see longer and longer stretches that I feel - level - is the only way I can describe it.  Get to that doctor and let him have it - he needs to help you!  Please keep us updated - you will survive, you know you will - this withdrawal will not kill you - make us stronger? maybe a long way down the road, but right now this second, at least it is ONE MAJOR MONKEY OFF OUR BACKS!!!!! <3 Becky

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by madtram, Oct 03, 2010
I have a collection of medical studies available if anyone needs to show their doctor some evidence of the problems that can arise from tramadol withdrawal.

Just message me with a personal email address that I can send them to.

Please know that none of this is permanent.  Your brain is very adaptable & will recover completely in time.  Take fish oil; eat good quality proteins; exercise; get out in the sun & stimulate your brain to speed up the process.

Best to you all,

M

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by Ronargus, Oct 03, 2010
First time posting..reading a lot of your comments. I have been using Tram for close to 5 years. Had a very severe auto accident which severely damaged my right hip. I have had 2 totals and 4 revisions on it in the last 25 years. I will always be in some kind of pain though with it. Was on a gamut of opiates to control the pain but my doctor at the VA suggested moving to Tramadol because it was severe and not addictive. I opted to try it. It seemed to help the pain but i also noticed a feeling it gave me of well being which i enjoyed. Unfortunately as time progressed i started to take more of it. Ended having a seizure and was hospitalized although the doctors didn't attribute that to the Tram but I found out that it was the culprit. My usual dosage is 400 Mg a day. I did try to stop taking for awhile but the damn withdrawal was as bad as the opiate withdrawal. At that point i decided to continue taking it but to be control of the dosage although at times i would take a few more if the pain got worse. Then I would run out before my next script and go through hell for a time until I could get the refill. It's unbelievable how long the withdrawal can last with this drug. I am definitely a slave to it at this point. I do want to stop taking it but i am deathly afraid of going through the long withdrawal time involved. I have a new doctor and I am going to see him this week and ask him if he feels there is anyway to get through the withdrawal of it with some degree of comfort. If any of you know a way this can be done please let me know.

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by yllopcat, Oct 03, 2010
Hello,
Im here again, I tried writing out my story and I am just to irritated to do it again. Suffice to say the sight I had to try like four times to get back on!!! Argh/..!!! So I am dabbling to the point I can only get to 30 hrs without ultram. I am trying to get to 48, I get lethargic, sweats, I cant believe Im here again. I am determined to give it up for good now. Its an eveil thing. I want my body back and who was I to think I could do it alone. I feel awful. its depressing. If I can get to 30 I want to get to 40 and does anyone have any suggestions? Im so scared and its so hard.

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by yllopcat, Oct 03, 2010
Im at a point where its barely tolerable. I dont want it to get any worse. I need to do this now. No matter what.

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by MyFreedom, Oct 03, 2010
Ronargus ~ Maybe you could talk to your doc about a slow taper. I've done it both ways and the taper was the only thing that worked for me. Some people are stong enough to do it cold turkey and/or they feel the need to get it over with quickly. After my cold turkey experience (only made it 4 days) I knew I couldn't do it that way. I tapered over several months with my doc's full support. She allowed me to taper as slowly as I needed as long as I stuck to it and kept her updated. By doing it that way, I avoided most of the acute w/d symptoms. Maybe you could do something similar??

yllopcat ~ Find something to do and force yourself to do it....take a hot shower/bath.....listen to music (my ipod was a lifesaver on bad days)....go for a walk.....watch a movie. Just do anything that will get you thru the each hour.

There are plenty of us here that have been where you are. You can do it.

Love and strength to everyone ~
:)

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by JennyP99, Oct 03, 2010
Day 3... omg, I'm seriously in hell.  I feel like I'm living in a nightmare that I can't wake up from.  I forced myself to take my son to the park to play this afternoon thinking that the sunshine and fresh air would help, but I came home feeling worse.  Then I broke out the jogging stroller and took my son for a short (felt like forever to me) walk through the woods and back, thinking that exercise would help, but I was just left feeling more horrible than when I started.  My husband came in from getting wood and took over taking care of our son, and I just went in the bedroom with the lights off, laid in bed, listened to music and cried my eyes out forever.  I'm in such a bad place right now...I just want to be me again, and I'm not a very patient person to begin with...lol  

Thank you for listening to my venting...I usually feel much better after typing out what is on my mind.  Even though every hour feels like 100 hours, I do have to say that I can't believe that I'm already to day 3...it feels like I was just here telling everyone my story for the first time on day 1.  

WE ALL CAN DO THIS...even though I'm feeling very weak right now, I know I can do this...I have to.  

Jenn

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by Beckles73, Oct 03, 2010
To everyone - I was a devoted tramadol lover for 15 years, these past 2.5 weeks have been hell, but today, my day 18 tram free, has been NORMAL - Please try to hang on, the one thing I can suggest it to make sure you do NOT have access or anyway to have access to anymore tramadol, that was the only way I was able to.  I called the 3 pharmacies I was using, and told them to never ever fill anymore of this poison under my name, even if my doctor says ok, calls it in and I try to get it, DO NOT LET ME.  Only 1 of the pharmacists had even known that tramadol was addictive, the other 2 were kind of "shocked" that this could happen.  Knowing I had no way of getting it those first 5 days, worked for me - if you really really want to be free from it, you can do it - I know how you are feeling, when I was made to flush the last of my pills down the toilet, i wanted to drink the water, and I would have if my mom was not over my shoulder, and that was day 3, so I know the pain you are feeling - I know everyone says "if I can do it, you can do it" you just have to decided that enough is enough.  I mean, come on, think what this stuff is doing to our brains, that the w/d's from it are so severe as they are and the length - our brains are trying to function on their own again, on many levels, that is why this drug is so harmful -ok, just keep at it, IT DOES GET BETTER, IT REALLY DOES please believe me on that one, I did not think on day 18 I would feel this much better, I know I still have a battle, but man, it is getting so much easier to fight, and it will for you too. Please, please don't give up on yourself, you can do this!

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by howcouldiknow88, Oct 04, 2010
JennyP, day 3 is a milestone. Withdrawal symptoms should begin to slowly decrease after day 3. HANG IN THERE. The pain and manic-like thoughts does end.

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by Ronargus, Oct 04, 2010
Spoke to the pharmacist this morning. If you are overweight it will take longer to get off the drug as it is stored in the fatty tissues of the body. This is why some people have longer withdrawals then others. I myself am about 30 pounds overweight so i need to get to my normal weight and gradually taper off the tram. She told me there is no alternative to get off the tram other than slowly taper yourself off and stay at a good weight so you are not storing as much of the drug. I'll also speak to my doctor this week about it just to get feedback from him.

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by jessamy88, Oct 04, 2010
Hi Beckles 73, l came back to thank you once again. l printed everything l could find and took it to my doctors. (l have two because of severe physical conditions) One ignored me..BUT the other  one said she felt she had been "sold a bill of goods" by the drug companies when she looked at the information l brought, and that she is going to reasserts how she prescribes tramadol. So l have to thank-you again and again for the advice because even if stops one person from being prescribed this poison, it was worth its weight in gold. l feel like l got out of those hideous first days where l just wanted to die, and now l am at least semi-functional. l just keep telling myself "it's not real..l don't really feel this way, this is not me, it's this poison trying to kill me for divorcing it." l can do it. l know l can do it. Do vitamins help, or herbs like St.Johnswort?

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by yllopcat, Oct 04, 2010
Ive been thinking alot about it, and Ive started my taper, I only have 9 pills including the 21/2 I did this am. Ive only been on these three or four days but with intermittent use I have some dependence built up. I tried only one pill -50mg but it was too difficult. I think i DID IT TOO FAST. sO i WENT TO 21/2.
iM HOLDING NOW NO MATTER TILL TOMORRW!!!!
I feel low energy and still have to work out of town all week so I guess I need to do a slower taper and really stick to the disipline-Ive got a book and have a sponser I also read that 10% is a dayly decrease so I am trying that since I havent been on it too long. Week tops. Im really wrking at the taper this time cold turkey last time I agree may have been what set me up so bad for relapse I was on my bed for two weeks and Im a marathoner!! So I am thankful to you all. Hang in there it soo helpful to have support. I think the slow taper makes the most sense in the long run. It will be hard no matter what but slower gives your body time to recouperate. I picked up my cat today. There are transitions going on. My ex has had her and we are sort of making changes. I feel better then last year but am still very dissapointed in myself.
Sincerely
Polly

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by Sweetstang, Oct 04, 2010
Day 37...

Doing pretty good overall, just kinda a faint headache most days lately and low energy sometimes. Worked a ton this past weekend at work, picked up a lot of extra hours and got no sleep, but did pretty good considering. Thought about how it would've been had I had some trams, would it have been better/worse? Not sure.

Still crave it though, think about it frequently, hubby trying a new diet with his co-workers, trying to be supportive and trying to do it too as I would like to lose these darn 15lbs, but feeling down because of it, no trams, no soda, no treats...have only cut down as hubby has cut out the bad foods and carbs, but I can't help feeling like something is ALWAYS missing....

well off to walk my dog, think I need some fresh air, maybe happier thoughts will come, congrats to all!!

Cindy

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by JennyP99, Oct 04, 2010
Day 4...I woke up this morning finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I was actually able to get up this morning and take care of my son, get him out of his crib, make him breakfast.  Yes, I feel very sluggish, but it seems much better than the absolute hell I was in yesterday.  Omg...day 3...nothing worse than day freakin 3.  To everyone else out there, if you can make it past Day 3...you CAN DO IT!  I was actually able to force myself to take my son and go to the pet supply store, grocery store, AND bank today!  I was going to try to take a walk, but the rain has started to fall, so I think I'm just going to veg out the rest of the day and hang out with my dogs and little dude.  My husband is on day 1 today...so I have to try to be as functional as possible, because he is going to be feeling very awful the next few days.  I'm very thankful that I had the first 3 days to just be in solitude and cry it out.  Pearl Jam and Eddie Vedder are my favorite musicians of all time...and I've found it to be so soothing to listen to their music.  Their one song "Come Back" really spoke to me for some reason...in one part of the song he's like "it's ok....it's ok.......Come back.....come back...I'll be here..."  I played it over and over yesterday, and it really seemed to help.  Watching movies really helps too.  Helps get your mind off of it all.  I am nowhere near 100% but I am a million times better than yesterday.  At least I can force myself to do stuff today, which I couldn't even do yesterday.  Hang in there everyone...we can do this!!

Jenn

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by yllopcat, Oct 04, 2010
Jenny out of curiousity did you taper or c/t? And how if you did taper?
Sincerely
polly,
And great post. It is helping to be back here alot. Im frightened again. But know I need to be here.

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by ladylisa109, Oct 05, 2010
Hey there all!! Sorry have been MIA for a while but have been busy with family and life in general which is a good thing :o)  I am currently 57 day Tram free and doing really good!  Still have the occassional blah day of low energy and on days I am not as active I have mild re-visits with the RLS but Hyland's takes care of it just fine.  Also have some cravings from time to time especially if my RA or Fibro is giving me some trouble like in rainy weather or if I over-do it physically.  But I can also honestly say even on my worst days now I still would NEVER want to be back on that poison.  For all of you just starting out hang in there because it is SO worth it!!   I am almost 2 months off of those horrible pills after nearly 6 yrs of taking them daily and though I may not be 100% yet I can say I am at least 85-90% there and I am not complaining.  Someone asked about suppliments and herbs and I can let you know what I am doing that has seemed to work for me.  Just a side note be sure and check with your Dr. about some of these esp. the St John's Wort and 5htp because they can interact with certain meds.  I currently take a good multi-vitamin, B12, St. John's Wort (300mg twice a day), 5htp (100mg twice a day).  I also take melatonin sometimes for sleep and Hylands Leg Cramps for the RLS when it acts up.  The St Johns Wort and 5htp helped me a ton with the depression and anxiety after the first week and I plan to continue to take them for rigtht now.  I have taken Zoloft several times in the past for bouts of depression and for post partum depression after the birth of my two oldest and the St Johns and 5htp have worked just as well as that did at least for me.   Just remember to hang in there because no matter how horrible you feel right now it truely is only temporary.  After the first 5 days or so for me I saw some improvement every single day.  After the first 10 days to two weeks I felt a ton better...not great but still majorly better.  

Beth:  I just wanted to let you know that you totally rock lady and you are doing amazing!  
Blessed : I am so proud of you and big congrats on your new precious bundle.  Enjoy your new little one and enjoy your life out of the tram fog!  I think of you and beth everyday and you guys are always in my prayers.

Well, I am off to bed and some much needed rest.  Blessings all and stay strong!  Gentle hugs, Lisa

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by JennyP99, Oct 05, 2010
Hi Polly - I went cold turkey...my initial plan was to taper, but to be honest with you, I found a reason every day that I still "needed" to take the 6 pills.  I just wasn't strong enough to taper, and either was my husband, so we flushed them all down the toilet.  It's super scary...but if I can do it, so can you! I'm sooooo weak when it comes to this crap, so I believe that you can do this too!  

I'm on Day 5 today...last night wasn't a good night, lots of tossing, turning, and damn that restless leg crap.  I'm tired this morning...and I'm feeling pretty depressed.  It probably doesn't help that it's raining and dreary outside.  I was crying quite a bit this morning, and have this unsettling anxiety feeling, as well as having some issues with trying to eat.  I feel like getting outside for a walk would help, but of course the weather has to be complete crap today.  I have to take my dog to the vet in a little while to get some staples removed from a cut he got 10 days ago, so maybe getting out of this house will help. My husband had to go help a friend with something this morning, but he should be back this afternoon, then maybe I will try to force myself to at least walk on the treadmill for a little bit.  I'm trying to be strong for my 17 month old son... he's so wonderful and beautiful, he deserves a healthy Mommy with her head together.  It really does help posting on here, typing out what I'm feeling and knowing there are other people out there that understand.  My husband and I know what is truly going on with each other, but we've lied to everyone else... as far as the rest of the world knows, we have the flu.  I find that if I'm crying when I start typing, that by the time I'm finishing up my post, I'm not crying anymore, there is really something comforting about knowing that other people understand.  

Thank you everyone, hang in there!
Jenn

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by Beckles73, Oct 05, 2010
Everyone on here is so freakin' strong, to beat this is NOT easy...I am on day 20 today! Yeah! Never thought I would get there, but DILIGENCE is my friend.  I still have my ups and downs during the day, yesterday I felt like my legs weighed 100 pounds each, kind of weird.  Today wake up with a headache, but it is a "functional" headache, if you understand.  I had my first session with a substance abuse counseler yesterday, it was awesome.  OF COURSE, he had never heard of tramadol, geez, what a surprise! He talked to me for an hour over my appt time, that is how good it went.  

jessamy- so glad to be able to help someone with this & am so glad that at least one doc has a brain! So now you can get some proper help as well.  Vitamins I take is B12 - B6, and 5HTP, and multivitamin...I drink green tea during the day, I know many people on here say they have gained weight since stopping the trams, but I have lost 14 pounds in the past 20 days, not too sure why, but I have been walking everyday, and eathing healthier, and sitting in the beautiful sun, helps me so much.  But yes, vit's do help, at least with me they did.  I still have to take ibruprofen for back pain, but only once a day, I used to eat that stuff like candy, not realizing the trams were making my pain worse, once a day works now, thank goodness and I take one benedryl before bedtime & drink sleepy time tea, and this helps wonders, I fall asleep no problems, and sleep ALL night! and I am not groggy at all in the a.m., which living on trams I was every damn day! Keep us updated, everyone pass the 3 day mark, only upwards from here! Love and peace Becky

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by yllopcat, Oct 05, 2010
Hi Jenny, Becl;es and everyone. I am tapering, I did that before, I just went from 5 to 4 to 3 to now like 21/2, actually this am I had the tingley icky w/d thing goin, but I think because of a taper it was alittle better than yesterday actually. I have to count on my ability to taper because I just cant drop two weeks doing nothing. So I have to be strong and not falter. The amounts are difficult, But Im trying to go by what drs. have said 10% per day. Then down as low as one, then half, then off. I even considered switching at the last two days, to see if it helps. Either way the end stinks. I know. Theres no way to avoid it. Thank you all for being here.
Polly

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by JennyP99, Oct 05, 2010
Congrats Becky! You're doing so awesome...I wish I could just fast forward to day 20.  Even day 10 would be fine...from what I remember, day 10 is going to be a real turning point for me.  Stay Strong!! :)

You can do it Polly! Stay strong and keep telling yourself you can do this! I KNOW this is not easy...it's so freakin hard, but you really can do this! I'm already on day 5...and I am semi-functioning.  Which is better than what I thought I would be feeling like at this point.  I am able to take care of my son, and do some minor household stuff...I even took my dog to the vet this morning.  I honestly didn't think I would be able to do these things this soon...of course I'm really forcing myself, but just the fact that i CAN force myself says something.  You're doing the right thing by getting off these nasty things, we all are!

I'm finding myself to be in quite a bit of pain this morning...which i haven't experienced yet in this withdrawal process.  My neck hurts SO bad, I can hardly turn my head and my middle back is SCREAMING.  I just took some excedrine migraine...hoping that combo will sooth some of the pain and maybe give me a little energy too.  My husband is on day 2 today...he is SO much stronger than me with this...he's actually out helping a buddy do some construction on a rental house that he has.  HOW he can do that on day 2 is beyond me.  I guess we all have our strengths and weaknesses.  I was able to quit smoking so easily 3 years ago...just stopped, and that was that.  Actually, I would rather quit smoking 10 more times, than go through this tramadol withdrawal once.  But my husband is STILL trying to quit smoking, and just can't do it.  But he can function through tramadol withdrawal.  It amazes me.  Hang in there everyone, every day will get better.

Jenn

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by coach1879, Oct 05, 2010
Hello everyone.....

30 days or so here....Let me tell you..feels great. no more fog and energy getting better every day. Still think about taking a little pill every now & then, but thank god I don't. Can't beleive I put myself through all those years taking that crap. I can't wait until the holidays to see what I have been missing......

Stay strong everyone!


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by yllopcat, Oct 05, 2010
Jenn,
I am on day 3 or 4 of my taper. Which I am doing, but I am experiencing some very low mood swings. The physical piece is going alittle better by tapering, as usual. But last time, I dont remember these low moods. Its hard because I took this week to do this. The taper, but even though I am pushing myself to get things done, my mood is so blah and low and well.. Um ridicuously depressing even though theres no reason except the w/d from the trams. Did other experience the mood swings too? I feel like throwing a plate or crying.??
Polly

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by JennyP99, Oct 05, 2010
Polly - Yes...my mood has been a disaster.  It seems to be getting worse actually...ugh.  I'm just HOPING to god tomorrow is a better day.  

Day 5 is not turning out to be such a great day.  I feel like the tramadol gave me the unbelievable ability to sweep all of my problems under the rug for months...and now today, all of those problems have smacked me in the face like 10 tons of bricks.  I feel very down and unable to really do anything.  I'm finding it very difficult to eat, I'm very very depressed.  It seems for me that every other day is bearable.  Days 2 and 4 were much better than days 1, 3 and 5.  Hoping very much that tomorrow is a better day.  I feel like such a freakin nutcase...I drove around for HOURS today...wanting to go walk around in stores or the mall, but I feel like I have some sort of social phobia or something, like i couldn't get out of the car and actually face people.  This is so not me, i just don't understand.  I feel overwhelmed at my house, but I can't go anywhere else because I feel almost afraid.  I don't know what the heck is happening to me, I just hope it's better tomorrow.  Has anyone else experienced this craziness?  Or is it just me??

Jenn

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by Beckles73, Oct 05, 2010
Jenn - YES, my day 6, 7,8 were worse than day 2 & 3 for me, I had that crawling out of my skin feeling so bad on 6,7,8, I thought I was going to go crazy.  I did the same thing, I put my baby girl in the car and just drove around for a while, but then luckily, my mom knew what was going on and told me to come to her house, which I did for day 8 & 9, and she helped me with the baby, while I got thru what I had to get thru.  On the evening of day 9, I broke out in hives all over my face and neck, kind of scary, but after that, that crawling feeling subsided, and has not really returned.  This just made me realize that how WHACKED out my body had been, to break out in hives? I do think there is something to your body expelling this poison, I am not sure, it was just weird.  You are going to have better days, I must say day 11 was the day I woke up UNFOGGED...and the fog has stayed away, now on toward day 21, So much better.  YOu will get there, I know exactly what you are feeling, and are like WTF? You will go up and down, but the down gets fewer and fewer, trust me.  I have had a worsening headache today, one I have never had before? Feels like so much pressure, but I am sure it is just another w/d symptom, and it will pass, just like the others. you are doing so awesome, you should be so proud, and just keep doing what you have to do, as you learn, it passes.

I just have to mention about your husband, jenn, how it seems easy for him to get thru these w/d's.  I knew someone like that a while back, we both took trams, and he just stopped cold turkey, and never really suffered any bad w/d's.  Still bewilders me, but he didn't.  We are all different. Go figure.  Everything you write makes total sense, onward and upward for you to day 6...and then 1 week, Go Jenn, Go Jenn!!!!

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by JennyP99, Oct 06, 2010
Thank you so much Becky.  I really needed to hear that.  Yesterday was baaaaaaaad.  Around 7pm though, I started to feel more normal...and was able to stop crying, stop feeling insane, and get some laundry done and make some dinner for my son.  Another not good sleeping night though.  Lots of tossing and turning....and here I am on Day 6.  I feel very jittery this morning...and have that awful crawling skin feeling that you talked about.  It's really awful, and makes me feel so useless.  I was able to get up this morning with my son again, and make him breakfast.  Did a load of dishes too.  I forced myself to take a shower and get dressed, but everything feels like so much work.  I also feel like i'm very impatient and everything is getting on my nerves.  I'm i'm just going to freak out and start screaming...or cry.  I'm sure it doesn't help that I woke up this morning with my monthly cycle...I'm probably hormonal on top of the withdrawal crap.  Ugh.  I'm pretty shaky feeling.  From what I remember...I really started to feel better around day 10 or so.  I'm REALLY holding on to that thought.  I'm only 4 days away from day 10.  I wish I could take a walk outside, I think that fresh air would really do me some good...but another day of HEAVY rain here.  I'm sure that's not helping my mood at all either.  Hang in there everyone...here's to normal days ahead.  

Jenn

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by jessamy88, Oct 06, 2010
Thanks again Becky. green tea and vitamins are making some difference. l feel sooooo much better just knowing these symptoms were from tramadol. l never in my life had that kind of an experience, and when they were telling me there was no such thing as tramadol withdrawal and saying l just had a nervous condition, l thought l was going to be put in a mental hospital. It's just such a RELIEF to know these symptoms were from that poison. And THANK you for making me think of ibuprofen! l use to get tremendous pain relief from that and you reminded me so l went out and got some. I have two conditions that cause debilitating pain and they put me on the tramadol...get this Becky...because all that ibuprofen was "bad" for me! Oh My GOD!  Well l just got a big ole bottle of that BAD ibuprofen, and put it in my little care package basket on the counter with the tea and the herbs and the vitamins, and screw them and their messed up opinion about the safety of tramadol versus ibuprofen. You gotta be kidding me.
If it wasn't for you, (and ladylisa getting me to the right site when l didn't know what l was doing) l don't know what would have happened to me. Thanks you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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by Beckles73, Oct 06, 2010
I am so happy you are getting thru this, It is so feakin hard, and no one can understand except the ones going/have gone thru it, and you know what, that is ok.  They don't have to understand - as long as you do now, you get it, and are moving ON!  And I must say thank you to everyone as well, because even helping someone helps ourselves, too - and yes, Ibruprofen has helped me, just 2 even - when I feel like my whole body hurts and my legs weigh 200 pound, just taking 2 takes the pain away, while on trams I would have to take 4-5 at once, and it still did not work, wow, imagine that?!? Too funny that they say ibruprofen is poison vs trams, unbelievable really.  It is time we take our health into our own hands.  

Day 21, 3 week mark for me - and I do feel sooooo much better.  I am working on the psychological right now, always seeming to want to grab my fix when something comes up - i have an issue with nerves and nervous stomach, reason I think I abused tram like I did (one of the reasons) but have realized, all they did was make me "think" I was better, DUMB. Now I just breath, and guess what? I get thru it SOBER! Wow, what a concept.

Keep up the fight everyone, everyday each of you seem an inch closer to "normalcy" and that inch is 10,000 miles for us.  Have a beautiful tram-free day, because they are beautiful - Love and peace - Becky

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by Ronargus, Oct 07, 2010
I'm just curious here about all the people that are trying to get off the Tramadol. Not one person mentioned the actual reason they were getting off the drug other than it's a nightmare quitting it. Went to the doctors yesterday. He's a young guy, went to Harvard Med school. I told him i was considering getting off the Tramadol. He asked if it was working to subdue the pain and i answered yes. The only alternative to the Tramadol for me would be to start taking narcotics again to subdue the chronic pain i suffer from and i won't do that. as long as i take them as prescribed (400 Mg/day) i won't have any problems with it which is true. It's only when i take more then i should i paint myself in a corner and have to go through the nasty withdrawals until I get my refill. I'm assuming that everyone in this forum was taking Tramadol for some sort of pain. If you get off the drug then what will you do to lessen any pain you may have. What's the alternative. Please let me know.

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by Beckles73, Oct 07, 2010
Good questions Ronargus, I will tell you, tramadol can turn on you, and can actually start causing more intense pain, it did for me, and for others i have talked to.  Guess what I take now? Ibruprofen, and it works - at least for me.  I quit taking it when I started to try and get the tramadol illegally, when you abuse it, and take more, then you have to take more and more, and so on.  Do I think there is no "safe" alternative to pain relief, if you have pain, debilitating pain, for some people, there is no alternative. They have to take pain meds, but I truly believe tramadol is not good for long time use.  It has other properties that are not needed for pain management.  I would stick with the usual pain meds, lortab, vicoden, etc, if you have to take something strong...but do not advise if you are an addict - b/c you will abuse any pill, period.  Even though Tramadol is not a scheuduled narctoic, it should be, it is an opiod, and will never understand why the FDA will not schedule it. But that is a whole other issue. I just hope you can find something that works and can take safely.

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by JennyP99, Oct 07, 2010
Day 7....I'm getting there.  I woke up this morning with this overall sense of extreme depression.  Like I had NO idea how I was possibly going to get through this day.  My legs felt like they were 5000 pounds a piece and I was just soooooo freakin depressed.  My husband helped so much today.  He made me eat something (I'm having a horrible time trying to eat)...then we went on a long 4-wheeler ride together.  It was SO nice to be in the sun, and get some fresh air.  And because we were moving it felt like we were actually doing something, helped me get through some of the day.  Then we decided to take a ride to the Gander Mtn. store.  I really want to start hiking... I think if maybe I focus on a new healthy hobby, it would be good for me.  So, we went there to look for hiking shoes.  I didn't really find any that I liked...but I found a great clearance pair of North Face pants... and a really cool Life is Good shirt! :)  When we got home, I made my son dinner, and did some housework.  It actually feel like I might be coming back to life again.  I'm seeming to have some serious ups and downs, but I'm getting through.  For the first time, I actually think that I AM going to be ok.  1 day at a time.  

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by ladylisa109, Oct 07, 2010
Ronargus:  I started taking Tramadol for a legitimate medical reason.  I have chronic pain due to Rhuematiod Arthritis and Fibromyalsia.  The first year and half on it I was taking the perscribed 4xday.  After that my pain "seemed" to increase and my Dr. bumped my dose to 50mg 6xday as needed.  That worked for another year then I would have bad days when I would have to take more and then of course my script didn't last as long as I needed it too.  Then I found out about how easy they were to get on the internet and the rest was history.  I would supplement my Dr. script with one from the interent so I wouldn't run out.  In the beginning they worked great for the pain and actually seemed to give me extra energy too (probably from their antidepressent quality I wasn't even aware of).  But after a while it took more and more to help the pain and instead of giving me energy I started to feel sluggish.  I have been Tram. free for 59 days now and have found my pain is actually much less now than when I was taking up to 8-10 Trams a day.  I can manage it with OTC meds and heat or ice when a joint gets inflammed.  I got off of the medication because I was tired of always having to make sure I had enough meds. or worry that my script wouldn't last.  While I had a real medical reason for taking it, I did not like what it was doing to me or my family since I was more or less becoming a tramadol slug that didn't have any energy.   I wanted to see if I could manage my pain without a narcotic pain med. and just because Tramadol is not scheduled as of yet it should be because it is addictive and is habit forming.   You need to consider your own medical history and your situation but I agree with others that this drug should not be used for long term pain management.  Hope this may give you some insight.   Take care!  Blessings, Lisa

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by JennyP99, Oct 08, 2010
Day 8...wow, I've made it to Day 8.  I must say that I am very proud of myself.  And of all of you for doing this too.  I don't feel as depressed today, but I feel pretty weak.  My legs and arms just feel like 10 tons of bricks.  I still think I will be able to force myself to do some stuff today.  I've been taking lots of vitamins and drinking some energy drinks, that has really been helping.  I don't feel as insane today...which is an awesome sign.  I have some errands to run today, and some laundry to catch up on... but I think i can do it.  My husband, son and I are going to PA tomorrow for his gram's surprise 80th birthday party.  I was afraid about trying to go when I was thinking about it earlier in this whole process, but now I feel pretty confident that I can do it.  Things are getting better...finally.  Those of you that are just getting into this whole withdrawal process, you CAN do it!!! :) Hang in there everyone and stay STRONG!!

Jenn

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by bethwillprevail, Oct 08, 2010
Hi Tram Warriors!!  

Day 50 off the trams for me.  I can't believe it's been 50 days!!  

Jenny-  I had bad mood swings for about 2 weeks and the quicksand legs.  It will get better.  The main thing to remember is that you should expect good days and bad days.  At first it is more like good hours and then younwill have a few hours in a day that you feel bad again with the sadness, sneezing, fatigue, weird feelings and thoughts.  Your good days/hours will increase over time, and energy will return.  Hang in there!  It is important to be gentle on yourself and plan to be sure you get good rest, eat well with plenty of protein, and not get too stressed if possible.  I have found being hungry or tired are a huge factor in how I feel.

Beckles- wow!  You are doing fantastic.  Really you are past the worst of it.  Keep strong.  You are so right about grabbing a "fix" when you have something come up.  I still think about the trams when I need a little energy or something comes up that I need to be "on stage" for.  But, I will not go back to that life.  I am so much better as the real me!!

Coach- glad you are doing well!  Great job!

Getting off this stuff is a really hard thing to do.  I thank God every day for helping me get free of these horrible pills that I took for 10 yrs.  Be strong!  Get back to who you are and get off these pills.  They will lie to you and tell you that you can't live without them, but in truth you cannot live with them.  The pills will eventually be your undoing.  Stay strong and make a commitment to be free.  Get your life back.  Start today!

Beth    

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by JennyP99, Oct 09, 2010
Thanks for the insight Beth! Annnd congrats on Day 50!! That is so awesome! :)

Day 9 here for me.  I'm getting through....the weakness is so horrible.  I can't wait for that to pass.  My thoughts seem to be getting better though, I don't feel like I'm so extremely depressed all the time now.  You're right though...it seems like there are good hours and bad hours.  I have to go out of town for the weekend with my family for a surprise birthday party...we are leaving in a few hours.  I'm hoping that I can make it through this weekend without being a total miserable basket case.  LOL!! Maybe it will help keep my mind off things.  Being distracted really seems to help me not focus on the way my body feels and the bad thoughts.  

Hang in there everyone and stay strong!! :)

Jenn

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by mamakpd, Oct 09, 2010
Hello all new and old....For those of you who have been with me, and those who have found ( I hope) some word or words in my older posts that have helped, I need some words of encouragement and healing.  I haven't posted for awhile. I haven't relapsed, but I have been put through a test. Last Wed I started having some severe left rib and back pain. I made it until early Sun morn with two absolutly sleepless nights to finally having to give in and go to the emergency room. My shame of tramadol addiction adding to the guilt of not being able to go for help sooner and knowing that whatever may be going on would requre some kind of pain medicine and not knowing how I would possibly be able to handle it.
Well I have gotten shingles. Painful unbearable shingles settled in the nerves of left rib cage and lower back. In all my abuse of pain meds I never wished more that I hadn't abused this because now I really need them. In fact I wouldn't have gotten much further without having to give in to a script of percocet.
I will tell you that EVERYTIME I put one in my mouth needing it more than you can imagine (unless you have had or know someone who has had shingles) I have guilt, worry, shame, anxiety, but pain that just won't allow me to function DEBILITATING unrelentless pain. I have seen my therapist and have her guidence. But still wish that I was just a normal person that could take this medicine and not have to worry about my future days to come.
I am doing better but still have this pain and this condition could lead me in so many different directions that may be lifelong.  I think I remember somewhere in older posts about a few people getting this disease ??  I go on day by day with sometimes a huge sense of dispair. Did I do this to myself, have I hurt my body so bad that it now is attacking me back.   I don't think about tramadol I don't want tramadol but I wonder when I get to the point, hoping I get to the point of no pain, how will i handle this. Will I find the strength to be able to walk away with no symptoms of W/D from the pain meds. Hundreds of normal people can but I of course am not normal, I have created a lifelong history of not being able to help myself without worring about being "addicted" and having these feelings of confusion and guilt while trying to help myself for relief of pain.
Do I give up my ticker for tramadol, can I still be proud of the last 60 some odd days of trying so hard to be clean from this disease of addiction. Will I suffer again for so many days of W/D when I can finally not have the pain to not take them. Every morning I open my eyes and think .. is it there .... is the pain still there...how long can I go do I have to take the pills ,,,, is it less... is it the same.... is it more??
Please reach out with some thoughts and ideas.... I have this site and of course my therapist once a week or more if I really needed it... but those of us that suffer from this disease of addiction have the best medicine quote unquote and this site has been my savior in the past ....
I am smart enough and strong enough to try alternate ways of taking this med when needing it, mixing it with over the counter meds, hoping just the process of putting a tylenol in my mouth would be enough for my mind to believe the pain would be releived so I can function. I feel the strength I need can only come from those of us who have been there and done that and know the feelings we all hold deep inside about what we have done and what we need to be done, especially if we have done it alone ..... abusing and recovering     I won't post my ticker .... my 60 days of hard work .... tested beyond my understanding



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by angelmoon, Oct 09, 2010
mamakpd, yes you are still free from tramadol and can continue to count it!  Keep posting your ticker!! I've heard shingles is unbelievably painful...take the other pain relievers till the episode passes.  If the pain is unbearable (like I have heard it is) just do what you need to do to get through and use the alternate ways you talked about.  This is not about your addiction, it is about coping with severe pain. You can't muscle your way through it. Take it easy, be gentle with yourself. You have not stepped backward...it probably is a a test.  Sounds like your passing it to me.  You have a new aware way of thinking and you are reaching out for support.  That is real progress.  Praying you will heal quickly. You are an inspiration to all who come here. much love and strength

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by ladylisa109, Oct 09, 2010
Mamakpd:  I had shingles about 15 yrs ago and omg yes it is extremely painful.  I would be suprised of hearing someone have it and not having to use some sort of prescription pain meds.  Do you have someone to keep you accountable on your pain meds though?  To be sure you stay within your Drs instructions and not go over your prescribed amount.  I had to have some dental work a couple of weeks ago and was prescribed a small amount of Vicoden for the pain for a couple of days after.  I had my fiance keep the bottle and just give me my doses.  I just wanted to be safe and not even take a chance if you know what I mean.  I will say that after taking them for two days that I had some problems with RLS (more than usual) for about 3 days after.  It made me wonder if I was having very mild WD's.  Just a little heads up in case the same happens to you.  I hope you get to feeling better quickly.  It took me about a week to stop hurting when I had shingles and I haven't had a problem with them since.  Take care and do what is best for you right now.  Blessings, Lisa

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by bethwillprevail, Oct 09, 2010
Mamakpd-  shingles is very painful and you may have pain for awhile.  Just us common sense about the percocet.  Use them as little as you can, but if you need one take it for the pain relief.  You have done all you can by getting close observation by your MDs.  My husband had shingles 11 years ago.  It took several months before he could get off pain pills.  He also used the lidocaine patches locally to help reduce discomfort- you might try that.  Then a hearing pad may help too.  The shingles is a chicken pox virus that is dormant and for some reason decides to flare up in a certain peripheral nerve- your MD probably explained all that.  It is nothing you have done to get it, except stress is a factor.  Shows up on one side of your body and runs along that nerve.  I can imagine your feelings of fear, but it is my thought that you will need to take something stinger for the pain for a while.  Just stay away from the trams and keep close to your MD for support and guidance.  You can't predict how your course of shingles will go, so don't try to over plan your situation.  It may be long or short, but you may not have the same WD experience as with the trams, and anyway you having severe pain.  As your pain begins to ease, just begin replacing the percocets with ibuprofen or Tylenol as soon as it makes sense and you can tolerate it.  Don't give up!!  You have done so well!  You can do this!   Just keep taking one day at a time....I don't know about you, but I am getting to be an expert at that, along with endurance, patience, and longsufferingness  ( is that a word?).  I do get sick of those feelings some days, but I feel it is the right thing to do and what God wants me to do.   Hang in there!!

beth    
          

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by mamakpd, Oct 09, 2010
Angel   Lady   Beth...

If you could only know how much your words mean to me.... Thank you all so much.
I just got home from work and I had to head straight for some pain meds and thought I am ever gonna get throught this and I laid on the bed and I looked over at my computer and thought ...please let me find just the smallest encouragement tonight on there. And from the beginning you all have been with me.  You are such a blessing.
I will take care of myself and I will be gentle from this night foward, and I WILL get through this also. I have to tell you it's been years since I have had this kind of pain, especially since I have no outward "markings" to prove it. What a nasty nasty disease  ??  Shingles....   who ever even came up with that.... herpes Z it all sounds as bad as it is.  

Thank you girls.... you have made a world of difference for me....
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers....



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by JennyP99, Oct 12, 2010
Here I am..at day 12.  For all of those out there that might be in the beginning stages of w/d...it really DOES get better.  Even though it seems like it never will, it does.  Even at day 12, I'm still having some ups and downs, but everyday it seems like there are way less downs, and more ups.  For the most part the days are good....evenings are still a little touch and go.  Mentally, I am doing MUCH better...I don't feel anywhere near as insane as I felt for the first 7 days.  Physically, I'm still getting these bouts of weakness, like I don't even feel like I can move.  Sometimes I'm ok... I even went for a hike on day 10 and on day 11....but then it will just hit me and I feel so weak, like I can't even function.  Last night was bad with that, a lot of times I start crying when I get the weakness spells, because it makes me depressed...but overall it is getting better.  I just can't wait to get back to me again!  Congrats to everyone out there who is getting through this.  Stay strong and don't let the obstacles get in the way of what we all know we need to do.  

Jenn

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by mamakpd, Oct 12, 2010
ahhh.. the days get better.... the left rib pain subsiding and thoughts of normal again. I do worry however about the re-attack of shingles. Therapy today gave me some insight on where to go from here. I am sure I will have some bad days coming not taking the percocet since my body has had some narcotics. MIND OVER MATTER though I will prevail.
I still have no want or need for tramadol , and I wouldn't ever want to face that W/D again, but I will stand ground that I needed the script for perc, and will try and prove to myself that in the future if this should ever arise again I will be strong enough and normal enough to be able to get the help I need without all the anxiety. I will never get over my addiction disease but I will be stronger than the little white pill of tramadol and all the chasing of it ..... how many how long fed ex drivers and so on,....
All of my support on here and my therapists support have given me the strength to get this far and I hope I have enough self control to go the rest of the way...Thank you all again, and all of you still trying to get foward I am so happy to be able to say you will make it, the good will outweigh the bad. If I can find the strength to do this then please look deep inside of yourself and know that better days are coming .... even if you are tested along your path.... you can make it .. do it and be proud of who you are and what you are doing... and most of all what you will be....
Much strength and hope for all those who are in need..
and thanks again for the incouragement and healing words you all have sent me..


Tramadol clean ticker....vs percocet needed clean ticker???? can I do that???

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by farrarrc, Oct 13, 2010
Hiya guys,

I have read a lot of your posts over the last couple of days.  I posted over in the forum and they referred me here.  I will give you a little background....

7 months ago I had a suspect lesion on my ahem.. ladygarden removed and biopsied and was diagnosed with carcinoma.  during the surgery to have it removed I slipped my L5/S1 disc, which was causing major pain.  I literally couldnt move.  I was on Valium, Codeine, Difene & Tramadol for a short time.  The Difene and tramadol i kept up with.  I was taking 4x100mg a day, which I eventually sustituded for 50mg tablets.  I worked my way down to 1 or 2 tablets a day.  I found out they didnt get all of the cancer and they had to repeat the surgery, so went to a pain specialist who injected steroids into my S1 nerve about a month ago.  The difference in pain levels has been dramatic so I started weaning myself off the tramadol and stopped taking the Difene.  i was down to about 1 or 2 trams a day but was always scared to stop taking that last one.  I tried a couple of times but always found an excuse to take it again.  Usually because of restless legs or just some random reason I created.

I had the repeat surgery just over 2 wks ago and started taking 4 or 5x50mg trams again to get me through the first week, which is pretty painful.  I then decided, right its time to get off these things & cut back again.  i took my last tablet yesterday morning and last night was pretty full on, not much sleep and lots of grrrrr type muscular twinges.  This morning I was in work and just felt like if anyone even looked at me I would burst into tears.  i have felt up tight and fluttery all day, but this evening I am feeling pretty calm and very tired (a bit emotional here and there tho)  Tomorrow I am going to get my results from the surgery.  My tramadol head keeps trying to tell me I need one to cope with the news, but my rational head knows I really dont.

I was hoping this was the end of it but from what I read it possibly isnt.  Im sure withdrawal is different for everyone, but can anyone shed any light on whether Im in for a rougher ride ?

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by MsCee, Oct 13, 2010
Hello to all that are here today, greetings from across the pond!

I stumbled upon Emily's posts whilst searching for help or at least an explaination as to what I have been experiencing today.. Ludicrously most of the hits that came up on google were "Buy tramadol here" sites.

Reading through these posts I am so relieved to see that I am indeed not going crazy, I did not wake up this morning in a foul mood, cold sweating, shaking and all together feeling poo, for no reason..

I have been aware in these past couple of months that I was gradually taking more and more of the stuff, usually 10-12 capsules a day toward the end, and when I had to put a repeat prescription in, i'd lower the does to make them last. I was aware that this was becoming a problem..

Yesterday I decided, no more, no thank you, I am 23 years old, yes I have pain from a RTA and from endometriosis, but the pills weren't even touching the pain anymore, and I was chucking them down my throat, more for other reasons.
So yesterday was my last 2/50mg capsules in the morning.
I have none left, I don't want anymore.

I have read stories of "tapering"
More power to ya if you can have that kind of control, me, personally, if they are there, and I feel lousy, I'm going to take them..

So this is day one for Cassie from the UK..
Today I sat and thought about why my body felt so bad, why my mood was so low, why I started crying for no reason..
Then I went searching for answers,
And here I am, and here I will be until I kick this drug..

The knowing that I am not alone in these effects and that so many people have come through the otherside, has given me more determination and a feeling like "Hey I can do this!"

So that is me for today, It's 21.15pm here, my knees are starting to ache, so I am off to get in bed and see how much sleep I can squeeze out of tonight...

Thank you to all of you here, past, present and future,
The information here is priceless, and hard to find, just glad I have found it...

Cassie



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by Perdido, Oct 13, 2010
Hello, good people. I had nearly 4 years on 2 X 150mg ER after slicing all the nerves in my right arm when I fell through glass. Tram seemed to work well reducing the pain but slowly I developed severe respiratory problems; did the tour of lung specialist, cardio, ENT and none of them linked my problems to tram. I live in New Zealand but my daughter is a medical journalist in London, UK and when I made a reference in a recent email to tram, she spat the dummy and told me it was almost certainly the cause of the respiratory problems. Tram is not commonly used in New Zealand and the pain specialist who prescribed it had never made any mention of side effects! After discussion with my doctor, I switched to 50mg capsules and began tapering but it got to the point where a capsule lifted me up for 2-3 hours and then dropped me with a huge crunch so I went ct instead and now I am on day 12; a fairly hellish week of severe headaches, mega "flu". diarrhea, blurry vision, poor sleep and really wobbly on my feet. No way could I go to work. But it is starting to get easier, thankfully. Of course, even after 4 years, the arm is still painful but I guess, if I want to live, then I have to learn to live with the pain. The sneezing has been unbelieveable and just wont stop.
Great to read all your posts and know I am not alone in fighting this.
God bless you all.
Perdido


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by DaynahBlake, Oct 13, 2010
Hello All!!  I too am amazed that this "non addictive" narcotic has generated such a mass interest in the "addiction" category.  I am new to medhelp so please bare with me if my story is redundant.  I am also learning how to navigate.  Any suggestions on how to make the most of this site is appreciated.

I told my doc I wanted a non-narcotic, non-addictive pain med.  My doc assured me that Tramadol was NOT addictive and very safe - he went so far as to advise it was designed for firemen, docs and lawyers and such - people who had severe pain but had jobs that were physically and mentally demanding... I am only taking 3 per day @ 50 mgs each. I take one around mid day and 2 at nite before bed.  On occassion I may take one additional in the morning if pain is too severe to manage.

After the 1st month I was amazed - I felt GREAT, had energy again, was sleeping all night... I think my skin even began looking younger - my husband said I was "aglow" like before my accident.  I was so relieved to have found a way to manage my pain and still function in society.  Then one day (about 3 months into script) I attempted to stop taking just to evaluate any changes in pain (piriformis syndrome/sciatica from car accident) and was very disturbed by my body's reaction.  Extreme restlessness, and intense hot flashes - felt like my muscles were constricting uncontrollably.  At night my legs would kick wildly and I would get up sweating like I had just run a marathon across the Sahara... only able to sleep after taking medication again (the Tramadol).  The hot flashes and mood swings were so intense I suspected early menopause but as soon as I continued the Tramadol the symptoms diminished with the exception of the hot flashes (which severity declined but they are still happening).  I am wondering: Is there a pain med that is truly non-addictive? If Docs are saying that Tramadol is not addicting and safe - What are the safety issues (because I no longer trust my doc to advise me properly about this med)? and What can I take to help with withdrawel? I want off but I don't want the pain.... Thank you all for your help in advance!  

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by jlbgirl, Oct 13, 2010
Can tram make you gain weight??

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by MsCee, Oct 14, 2010
I've never experienced any weight gain on the stuff, the past 2 years I've been taking it, my weight tends to stay at around 9stone4..

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by MsCee, Oct 14, 2010
Day 2 with zilch tramadol..

Last night was awful, restless wrists and arms, the legs were okay.
I think I got about 2hrs sleep before my 3yr old daughter woke up.
The sweats were horrendous, but I was expecting them and was prepared, countless journeys to the living room to sit on the cold leather sofa..
Today I still feel pretty rough, low and achey, but I know this is it for me, go through this, then get my life back..

I do not want a pill, I see it for what it is..

So fingers crossed, sleep will grant me a little more peace tonight

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by bethwillprevail, Oct 14, 2010
Hey tram warriors!!  

For those of you who are just now getting off this horrible stuff (MsCee, Daynah, Perdido, farrarrc) BE STRONG!!  you can get thru the Withdrawal (WD), but it is not fun.  I had major WD, including the sneezing, night sweats, sadness and crying and general very low feelings, mood swings, extreme fatigue, restless leg syndrome (RLS), brain fog- the whole nine yards.  the thing is, you have to just get really angry at what had happened to you because of these pills, and bear it until it passes.  It will take about 7 days to get past the really bad stuff, and then after 14 days you will be much better.  After about 21 days you will really feel the energy coming back.  Expect your couse of WD to be very up and down- very non-linear.  It comes and goes- you will have several good hours and then several bad ones.  For me it was the evenings when I was more tired I felt more depressed and fatigued and then the RLS at night.  If you expect the ups and downs and dont fight it too much it goes better.  Just be kind to yourself and take warm baths, take B vitamins, eat good, try to keep stress at a minimum (if possible).  Try your best to get enough rest.    

I took this stuff more for the energy and the antidepressant properties.  These are the reasons most people keep taking them.  But the problem is that you need more and more, and soon you have to take one to just feel happy at all- you want that feeling again.  The antidepressant part of the Trams make it so difficult to stop taking.  It is scary how the pills begin to rule your life.  You begin to worry if you have some pills with you all the time (just in case), you start counting them for vacation, I would actually hide them all over the place in case I needed them.  The problem is the pills, after a while, make you feel as if you cant survive without them.  But the truth is you can and much much better than when you were taking them.  the things I noticed while on the trams: poor concentration, poor focus on a task, underlying anxiety- sometimes severe, mood swings (esp if I did not take another one on time), felt horrible in AM when I got up (due to mild WD- until I took another pill), nausea, foggyness if I took too much.  I was RULED by these devil pills!!  and really I felt bad most of the time.

SO stop the madness!!  Get back to being yourself.  Be VERY MAD at what these pills have done to you and use that anger to commit yourself to being free again.  It is not an easy thing.  I tried several times to get off and finially made it- mainly due to harnessing my anger into commitment to get off.  Make a list of the side effects trams has for you and read it every day. Make an ANGER LIST or WHY I WANT OFF TRAMS list.  Keep reading it over and over.  The lure of the pills may try to entice you back, but just dont forget your list and your WD so you will never go back again!

Mamakdp:  Hope you are doing OK with the shingles.  One day at a time.  Its how I have learned to live now.  A good thing.  :)

Keep strong and dont give in!!

Beth  

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by farrarrc, Oct 14, 2010
Hi Beth,

I recognise the following a little too well:

You begin to worry if you have some pills with you all the time (just in case), you start counting them for vacation, I would actually hide them all over the place in case I needed them.  

Today I didnt get great news, I have to have more surgery, they didnt get all the cancer.  I wanted nothing more than to curl up under my quilt with a couple of tramadol.  I didnt though I went to get my little girl from school who of course cheered me right up.  I have also been to the health shop and got some B12, Valerian & Magnesium & Kalms.  I just need to get a bit of sleep.  This feeling reminds me of the sort of sleepwalking you do when you first have a child.



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by JennyP99, Oct 14, 2010
Hang in there everyone new to the tramadol w/d.  All of you CAN do this...and it does get better.  Even when you're in the worst of mindframes, it really does get better.  And it is SO worth it to get your life back.  It's amazing, because when you stop taking the tramadol, you feel like you need to take tramadol to feel "normal" again.  But just stick it out, because one day you wake up and are like "WOW...THIS is what normal is...!!"  And it's a great feeling once you get there.  :)  

I am on Day 14....and I woke up this morning like a new person.  I didn't wake up in a fog, I actually had energy, and I even woke up before my son woke me up!   Before I felt like I couldn't even get out of bed without taking tramadol.  This is so awesome.  I took my 17 month old son for a hike this morning...it was awesome just to be outdoors, doing something active and breathing in the fresh air.  This feeling is AMAZING.  When I was taking the tramadol, I thought it was giving me more energy, but I have to question if it really was.  Because here I am on day 14, feeling like I have natural energy again.  It's awesome.  :)  

I've been taking a multi-vitamin, B-12 and potassium supplements everyday...which i wasn't taking any vitamins when i was taking the tramadol.  I'm sure my body is just loving the vitamins.  I also picked up some valerian root.  I've been taking that at night before I go to bed, and it's really been helping with the restless legs and body and allowing me to sleep through most of the night.  

Evenings have still been touch and go...but I will deal with that knowing that my days are getting better by the day.  Stay strong everyone! We can do this!! :)

Jenn

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by gunitbot6, Oct 14, 2010
i got to day 50 and for some reason my neck started to hurt really bad like nothing i have ever experienced before, i couldn't move in any direction with out pain so i took a pain killer, since my brain was not completely healed yet i feel like this set me back 2 weeks i feel like i'm on day 30, has this happened to any one here?

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by Beckles73, Oct 14, 2010
Yeah Jenny!!! I know you were having a rough time, and to see that you are at 2 weeks, feeling good, is so fantastic! You did it and are finally realizing the craziness of tramadol addiction.  I am at day 30, and never ever thought I would feel this great either without my trams. I am finally getting to where I will go a couple days not even thinking about them, and after 15 years of taking them, that is mind blowing to me. Everyone here is so strong and fantastic, and it still amazes me that everyone goes or has gone thru the same crap from these pills.  I used to tell myself that it was fine to take them since they made me feel so good, but when you really think about it, when you stop taking them (heck, you have w/d symptoms even WHILE taking them) and what your mind and body go thru without having them, what exactly we were really doing to ourselves, making us less functional humans while you think you are making yourself MORE functional, it is just so crazy. I am free and feeling good, and am so so proud to be apart of this group and to see so all of you kicking tramadol butt, but most importantly, finding your REAL selves again.

Here is to us, and keeping it that way! Love you all - peace always - Becky

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by JennyP99, Oct 16, 2010
Thanks Becky! :) I'd say the turning point is probably at 14 days or so...because each day after that I've been feeling better. So all of you out there...put in your 2 weeks, it really is so worth it.  It's really nice to be getting back a part of myself everyday, I'm feeling HUMAN again.  It's also awesome to not have to worry about having pills with me all of the time, always thinking that I NEED them to function.  I'm finally realizing that I CAN function without them.  :)  I still have a pretty awful anxiety feeling...but I think that is more from the things going on in my life (unemployment, money issues, etc.) than from the actual withdrawal.  I've been trying to do more outdoorsy things, the fresh air really seems to do a whole lot of good!  What is really weird to me, is that I'm only on Day 16....but the first week of withdrawal hell seems like it was months ago.  Keep that in mind when you're in the beginning of w/d and each hour seems like 10.  It's worth it, because by the time you're 2 weeks through, it all seems like a distant memory.  

Hang in there everyone! Hugs to all of you!

Jenn

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by farrarrc, Oct 17, 2010
Hi,

i just wanted to post a positive note for those of you dealing with tramadol w/d.   I am on day 6 today and I have really noticed a big difference!!  I am sleeping at night now which is so great, I still get pretty down and think that will prob last a while, but I think once you are sleeping you can deal with most things.  

It really does get better & quite quickly too :)  

I know for sure I would still be doing my one or two tablets a day if it wasnt for this forum.  Thanks for your help guys it helped me through some tough days !!

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by JennyP99, Oct 17, 2010
Congrats farrarrc!! :) I'm glad you are feeling better.  This forum really is a huge help during the toughest days.  Just knowing that there are people that TRULY understand is so comforting.  

I'm on Day 17 today...doing better with all of the w/d symptoms, but last night I came down with a pretty bad head cold.  Talk about depressing?  I finally start feeling better and I get sick for real.  Ugh.  It's funny though, because being sick is a walk in the park compared to tramadol w/d!!  

Hang in there everyone! Stay strong! :)

Jenn

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by Evie1029, Oct 17, 2010
Farrarrc-  I'm very sorry to hear about the docs finding more cancer, but I'm glad the WDs are getting better.  I have no doubt that getting off the trams will help you to cope better with what's ahead.  You sound like a very strong person indeed!  Keeping you in my thoughts.

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by Ashleywickers, Oct 18, 2010
Gunitbot6- I also took a painkiller ( or 2 ) since I have stopped taking the trams and I wouldn't say it set me back any as far as my days go with the trams, however, I did and still kind of do...have a guilty feeling. I mean if your in pain that you can't handle there really isn't much else you can do really, I think.

Anyhow.... I'm not even sure what day I am on as far as being Tram free. I guess I'll know when I post and my ticker thing comes up. I know I still have NO ENERGY and it is driving me bonkers, because of the no energy ALL THE TIME, I find myself thinking about the Trams more then I want to. I even requested a refill ( I can't believe I did that ), but haven't gotten it, I can't actually bring myself to do it knowing I've made it this far. Part of me says "You don't want to go through that again" basically start over, and then the other half says "Well was it really THAT bad?" almost like the further away I get from Day 1-3 I forget about how horrible it really was and it doesn't seem so bad. I don't know. I'm just talking at this point really. It's aggrevating. All of the WD symptoms are GONE and have been GONE for a little while now, EXCEPT the energy, I still don't have any, and it is killing me. I really want my energy back. I hear all of these people talk about how they have thier energy back after about 2 weeks and I wonder how? I know everyone reacts differently to things but dangit where is my energy?? I almost think no kind of energy I will ever get back or have will compare to the energy I had on the Trams, and maybe I do have my energy back, and I just don't realize it because I am expecting it to be like how the Trams energy was, I don't know. Either way this *****, and I am really hoping I don't relapse at this point, but I can't bring myself to go to the drugstore and get them, it's embarassing really.  Ok done rambling.....for now, LOL.


Congrats to everyone out there for getting off/ attempting to get off  the Trams that's AWESOME! They are EVIL little things!! >: [

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by Ashleywickers, Oct 18, 2010
OK wow 30 days. I didn't realize it had been THAT long.... ok thats all. :) Now I feel REALLY guilty about requesting that refill.... after 30 days??? Geez.

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by angelmoon, Oct 18, 2010
Ashleywickers...I went back and looked at my post on sept. 10th in the previous thread.  It was day 37 for me and I really thought about giving up and taking a tram.  Look back at my post.  I had NO energy and terrible depression..it felt like the first or 2nd week.  I felt like my energy would never come back..Honestly it does and it will feel even better without trams. It will pass. Don't give up. I am about 2 1/2 months out and I am feeling mostly great.  Hang in there....go back through the old posts to find people on or about the same day as you.  I would come read them several times a day. It was truly a lifeline....much love and strength and prayers to you.

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by gunitbot6, Oct 18, 2010
Congrats on 50 days Mama K!!   I am almost at 40 days, and feel the same as you.  It really is better all the time.  You have to learn how to live not thinking about taking another pill all the time.  It is a big change, and now I see myself starting to not even think about it for periods each day when I am busy.  My ENERGY has ups and downs, but it is increasingly better.  It is sooooo worth it to get off those pills and live truly present in my life again


DAY 30............
Everyone else, there are so many of us, I wish you all the best of luck!

I wish I was that strong though, I can't stop wishing I had some trams to take. I have not yet reached that point where I no longer crave those darn things!  I work in 2 hospitals and am reminded of it daily. Even performing my job where prior I would have a horrid day, have a hard case, it was busy, whatever the reason and looked so forward to those trams as I "earned them"! Still struggling with the headaches, but my Neuro. MD wants to increase the Amitriptyline.  Still kinda low ENERGY at times, but headaches are the biggie right now and the physical addiction I need to get past!


Day 37...

Doing pretty good overall, just kinda a faint headache most days lately and low ENERGY sometimes. Worked a ton this past weekend at work, picked up a lot of extra hours and got no sleep, but did pretty good considering. Thought about how it would've been had I had some trams, would it have been better/worse? Not sure.


Hey there all!! Sorry have been MIA for a while but have been busy with family and life in general which is a good thing :o)  I am currently 57 day Tram free and doing really good!  Still have the occassional blah day of low ENERGY and on days


Hello everyone.....

30 days or so here....Let me tell you..feels great. no more fog and ENERGY getting better every day. Still think about taking a little pill every now & then, but thank god I don't. Can't beleive I put myself through all those years taking that crap. I can't wait until the holidays to see what I have been missing......

Ashleywickers...I went back and looked at my post on sept. 10th in the previous thread.  It was day 37 for me and I really thought about giving up and taking a tram.  Look back at my post.  I had no ENERGY and terrible depression..it felt like the first or 2nd week.  I felt like my energy would never come back..Honestly it does and it will feel even better without trams. It will pass.


by gunitbot6, Sep 03, 2010 10:46AM .Can any body whos been of Tramadol longer then a month tell me when they regained there full ENERGY. I am now 49 days clean and have the same lack of ENERGY as i had in week 1 2,3 and so on. I am so tired every day , i though i would be better by now, but my god am i exhausted everyday, even when i get 10 hours of sleep.

I cant take this fatigue anymore. can anybody relate!?

It was a long hard 30 day road. And I am sure I have some bad days ahead, but for the most part I am feeling good.
I find my emotions still on the edge, but I see that slowly improving also. ENERGY level is low but if you just trudge on....somehow you find the will to do what has to be done, MIND OVER MATTER.... easier typed than done but stay strong it really is worth the fight in so many small ways. Okay..... I have overdone....
Strength for you all.... another day another new discovery for all....



I HOPE THIS HELPS, IT REALLY HELPED ME.








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by gunitbot6, Oct 18, 2010
THOSE POSTS ABOVE ARE BY DIFFERENT PEOPLE WHO STILL HAD NO ENERGY AFTER DAY 30

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by Ashleywickers, Oct 19, 2010
Well it feels a little better knowing that I'm not just going crazy thinking I should have some energy right about now. Thank you sooooo very much for pointing that out to me. I know that took you some time to gather, so thanks for doing that. I guess I should just stop expecting things to come right away and take it day by day. Hopefully I can stay strong enough to do that. I have already shown weakness by placing a refill order, but then again I have been strong enough to not get it. We'll see. Thanks again! :)


I also saw mention of the headaches up there also. I have them BAD, BUT thats why I was given the Tramadol to begin with. I have 2 brain lesions that cause horrible headaches, and I don't know what to take for them now. My Dr. & Neuro, don't want me taking anything with Tylenol in it so I am very limited. I have brought up to them about giving me something other then the Tramadol and they basically refuse saying the only thing they feel comfortable with giving me is the Tramadol. As a matter of fact I had an appointment with her a week ago and the 1st thing she asked me was "do you need a refill of the Tramadol" I was shocked, but told her no. I asked her for something else and again nothing. So I am dealing with them because I refuse ( at the moment ) to take the Trams. I am thinking maybe try a new Dr. and see, but I have seen my current Dr.'s forever and they know all of the in's and out's about me, and I don't want to start over somewhere. Oh well..... maybe they'll cave before I do :)  Ok just rambling again. Have a great day all! and thanks again Gunitbot6 for the posts that helped more then you could imagine! :P

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by Ashleywickers, Oct 19, 2010
Oh p.s I also forgot to mention.... my Neuro has me on Topamax also, which is supposed to "decrease" the number of headaches I get. It helps some but when they do come the pain is horrible. Ok.... just wanted to add that.

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by RonKo, Oct 20, 2010
Hello:

Unfortunately, I am very bad off.  I am taking 20 or so 50MG tablets per day and anytime I go to taper, the pains and emotion are too much to handle.  I am trying and I want to be off this poison.  This time I am going to make it.  I have a plan.   But I am scared!

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by bethwillprevail, Oct 20, 2010
RonKo- Hang in there!  Be Strong!!  There are many of us here who have been where you are and have made it through to freedom.  Set down your plan- preferably on paper.  Get your supplies and get started on your journey to freedom.  It is the best thing you will ever do.  It is not easy, but soooooo worth it.  Read all Emilys journals here.  It really helps me get through it and to know what to expect.  If you can take a few days off work it may be helpful the first few days completely off.  Some people on this site have done a very slow taper and others like me did a fast taper.  Have you consulted your doctor??  If you have one that you trust, it is good idea to get some medical support.   The first 5 days off are the worst- some symptoms may be: feel like you have a bad flu, diarrhea, headache, fever, nausea, brain fog, extreme fatigue.  But!!  after 5 days off, you will start to see the light- things will get slowly better (with ups and downs) from there.

You must get mad at what these poison pills have done to you and your life- mad enough to go through the withdrawal process.  Mad at how these pills have put you in prison- the prison of counting pills to be sure you have enough, waiting for the Fed-ex man when your pills dont get there on time, mad that you cannot concentrate, mad at the amount of money you spend on these horrible devil pills, mad at the control the pills have on your whole life.  BE MAD!!!  BE ANGERY!!  Get rid of these pills from your life!!

Ashley- I really did not have good energy until past day 50.  Hang in there.  I also really struggled with still feeling some depression, but it seems to have lifted now.  I feel like I am thinking straight and able to concentrate again.  I love it!!  Finially I feel like I am back to my old self.   I never thought I would make it to this point.

One day at a time- thats how it is done.  Just make it thru each day and then the next, until you get past the WD and the hold this pill has on you.  I know my body fought hard to free itself, and the effects of the need to take that pill fought hard to regain it's hold on me.  It was a battle- every day.  But persistance, comittment to my plan, and anger of what the pill did to me gave me strength to JUST DO IT- one day at a time.

I am on day 63 off tramadol.  I feel better than ever. I am still getting better every day. It is sooo true Gunitbot said that you have to learn not to think about taking the trams.  they become a way of life.  It is a huge change of habit.  I am now having lots of time during each day that I dont think about it anymore, but I still DO think about it a little every day.  It is so nice to replace those tram thoughts with LIFE.   I am laughing again and I have found my old sense of humor (where did that go??)  I am a much nicer person again.  Not all trammed up, running in fast gear, anxious, hurrying, talking, intense, moody, then tired.  So glad not to be there anymore

I am so thankful for everyone on this site who helped me thru my WD and to freedom.  I am thankful to God who has given me His strength.  "I can do all things thru Him who strengthens me"

Be Strong Tram Warriors!!  One Day at a time.....you will make it to freedom and good health.

blessings to all,

Beth

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by fightorfight, Oct 20, 2010
Beth is right RonKo.   I don't post here much anymore which is a shame, but I check in from time to time when I think about my time with Tram.    It really was a month or two honeymoon until it caught up with me and I just needed it to "be".  I certainly had gotten up to double-digit pill popping days and it scared me to think how I would keep up the habit, or get off of them at all.

Trams trick you into thinking that you NEED them to feel ok, or even feel at all- even if its depression.   This isn't true at all.  The first day isn't so bad as the half life is long, but days 2-3(and sometimes 4 or 5 depending on how long you've been at it at 20 a day) are rough.   But they're supposed to be--- Tram does a lot of behind the scenes dirty-work, and it takes your body a little time of Shock and Awe to get back to physical ok-ness.

Its good you have a plan.   Thats the best thing you can do.   Try your best to get your Life in order before you take the jump, a taper is good (especially at 20), but you can fast taper so you don't prolong the misery.  Honestly, the best advice anyone can give you here for the first week is going to be,  Give yourself the time to be miserable.   So many people try to do this while working or doing everything under the sun (and it may be necessary in most cases) and it just doesn't stick.

Load up on Gatorade, protein bars, bananas, vitamins, and if you can catapress(clonidine) will help a lot.  Hunker down for the days you feel bad, and you'll get through it.   Its scary starting up, but you can get through it,  just give yourself the time to do it--- like giving yourself an open invite to the rest of your life.

Good luck mate.
-FoF.

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by FinallyFred, Oct 22, 2010
Hello tramadol warriors!

I have been tied up with other things and am just finally checking in again.   I hardly recognize the place since I haven't posted here for many months.   (Hello Madtram and Polly!)

The battle with tramadol can and will be won if you work for it.  

Courage, strength and hope,

Fred

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by Southernbell3500, Oct 23, 2010
Hello, this is my first time to post.  I have been "lurking" on this site for over a month.  I was just curious why it seems so "dead" lately.  I am not seeing some of the veterans post anymore and was hoping to hear from them.  They give so much strength and hope.

My story is just like everyone who post but I have been on trams for 8-10 years.  I am "weaning" off of them myself.  I admire "Living Present" aka Pat's way she did it.  I am not there yet but will be reducing my intake over several weeks.  I am not able to take a week or so from work which is VERY stressful plus I have a husband that has no clue about it which makes it VERY difficult.

Anyhow, my hope is there are more posts in the coming weeks.

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by JennyP99, Oct 23, 2010
Hi Southernbell - You really can do this, even if it seems like you can't.  It's the tramadol telling you that you can't...which I know sounds insane, but it's true.  I wish you the best of luck with your taper...I wasn't strong enough to do that, although that was my initial plan.  I found myself making every excuse in the world to have to still take the same amount and not taper down.  It ended in me flushing them all down the toilet and doing it cold turkey.  I had the time to be miserable though, I'm unemployed and had my husbands support...so it's kind of like i had an at home rehab...lol.  I'm on day 23 today, and things really do get better...I promise!! Keep us posted with your progress.  :)

Day 23...I am doing well and things are getting better.  While still somewhat sluggish and lazy feeling, I'm finding it more bearable to do my everyday activities.  Things don't seem as impossible.  I think I'm starting to gain some NATURAL energy back again...which really does feel awesome.  I've been sick with a head/chest cold the past few days, but I'm starting to feel better and the withdrawal symptoms are mostly gone.  I was able to go to sleep last night without taking any valerian root...which is the first time since i stopped taking the tramadol.  The restless legs are going away too, thank god...i can't deal with that!   The one major issue that I'm having is intestinal/gut issues....I had my gallbladder removed in April...but was on pills since then, so I'm thinking that the pills might have masked the digestive issues I was having.  It's very uncomfortable, and I currently don't have health insurance so i can't go to the doctor about it.  Maybe it's just another symptom of the tramadol getting out of my system?  No clue.  

Hang in there everyone!! Stay strong! :)

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by MyFreedom, Oct 23, 2010
Happy Saturday friends!

Sorry I haven't posted for a while...just been super busy. Tomorrow will be my 7 month mark.... woohoo!!

It's been a long road, but I'm glad I've traveled it! It really took me about 4 1/2 months to start to feel "normal" again. It comes back very slowly and in spurts up to that point, but finally around that 5 month mark is when I began to know that I would be okay. Every once in a while I have some kind of tram reminder haunt me.... Like the last two nites I didn't sleep well....lots of tossing and turning, but I am strong enough now to know that it will pass. Same with any other things that like to randomly pop up (which isn't often anymore).

Southernbell - You can do it! A veeeery slow taper was the only way to go for me. I just wasn't mentally strong enough to do a cold turkey. I tried once about 5 years ago and failed miserably...plus I just wasn't truly "ready to stop at that time either. I was using tram for just under 8 years. At my max I would take 3 50mg tabs 3 times a day...sometimes 4 times a day. I did a very slow taper (probably over about 4-5 months). That was the only way to go for me. Thank goodness, I had my doc's support (as well as my hubby, son and all the members here).  Hang in there and just find your anger with tramadol. Hold on to that anger while you are going through this...it will help you.

Jenny - Have you tried taking probiotics? That really helped me and I think I recall seeing a post a while back where someone else also used it. It actually helped me to not use the immodium quite as much. It was a big help.

gunitbot - I too had taken a couple of vicodin (once around 40 days out and another around 60 days). I also felt like they set me back about a week or two. Odd, huh? I haven't taken any since those two times (because I haven't needed any), but I'd be worried it would set me back again.

mamak, beth, blessedmommy and everyone else - I hope you are doing well and continuing your fight. blessedmommy, let us know how that baby girl is doing!!

Love and strength to you all!!

:)

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by Southernbell3500, Oct 23, 2010
My Freedom - what was your taper and can you tell me about your experience was with WDs?  I have been without trams for a week or so and did experience the sleeplessness.  I had NO clue what this stuff was all about until I decided to get off.  I was floored when I found this forum and it made so much sense to me and I look forward to coming here and reading.  

Unfortunately I have to keep it a secret not only the tapering but this forum as well.  I have not told anyone about this and I know I can do it.  I have quit drinking, smoking and quite a few things when I was younger so I do not doubt I can do it, I just want to be prepared as much as I can.

I hope to be able to go completely off by X-mas (like the week before or the week between X-mas and New Years).  I know I will be flu like which is good but that can help me get through it due to the fact that my husband cannot know.

The only thing I do worry about it the stress of the "family" around during the holidays.  He has a big family and they have a tendency to be very intrusive without skipping a beat.  It will be very interesting but again I know I can do this just very difficult.

Both you and Jenny.....I VERY MUCH appreciate you reaching out to me and I look forward to letting you guys know my progress.  It makes me accountable....

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by MyFreedom, Oct 23, 2010
Southernbell - Well, when I began my taper the first thing I did was to set a rigid schedule of when I would take them. Before I would just take them whenever I felt like it. I decided on a six hour schedule...even using my cell phone to wake me to take them when it was time to take them (my cell phone alarm  was my best friend for those few months). I stuck to my 6 hour schedule for a few days then I reduced from 3 tabs at a time down to 2. Then after some time I increased to every 7 hours. Later reducing to 1 and 1/2 tabs....later moved up to 8 hours......later reducing to 1 tab......later increasing to 9 hours.....etc. I finally got down to 1/4 tab every 12 hours before stopping completely. I did this over several months time and I had my doc's approval to do it this way. I think it was actually her idea to do the increase time, decrease dose, increase time method.

Doing this actually helped me to "step down" in the withdrawals instead of having them all come upon me at one time....which was what did me in the first time. I did have mild w/d throughout the taper, but only for a couple of days after each reduction. Once I finally stopped completely, I expected a crash but it never came. What did happen was periods of interrupted sleep (with relief from advil pm or melatonin) and periodic diarrhea (with relief from probiotics or immodium). My biggest problem, as with most people, was the lack of energy. Taking a Vitamin B12 supplement really helped me out. You and I were using about the same amount of time....keep in mind it will take some time for your body to remember how to function without tramadol. It wasn't until just before my 5th month out that I really began to feel normal. I am at 7 months now and feel great. It will take time. Just go with it. The real *you* will return!

Come up with a taper plan and set yourself a schedule and stick to it. You can do it!!

:)

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by gunitbot6, Oct 23, 2010
My freedom i see it took you  4.5 months to feal normal again,  i myself am on day 103 technically but after taking a hydrocodone which is also like Tramadol because it has synthetic opiate properties i tell my self im on day 89, , i am not 100% healed yet. At day 70 i noticed my energy coming back, now i feal as if i have 70 percent of my energy back. that was the biggest issue to overcome for me,  i fealt as if i would never get it back back, and i was extremely tired every day. Now i am patiently waring for full energy to come back.  And i am not taking any more pain killers for pain untill i heal 100%.
Also for me i cant drink alcohol right now, it brings out the withdrawals in me, is this the case for you when you drink, or is it just me.

I can really relate to what you went through from Tramadol withdrawal, i feal as if i went through the same road as you did. like in the beginning stages when the energy was really low getting though work was was 10 times harder then now, that was 1 of the major hells, also in the beginning stages falling asleep was hell, especially knowing that you have to be at work the next day  in the morning. Those where the two major hells for me. also my lower back fealt really restless for the first few months.  Can you relate to any of this.

Thanks, and sorry about the rambling paragraphs

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by Southernbell3500, Oct 24, 2010
Thank you MyFreedom!  I think I am going to try it that way.  It sounds more logical and allows one to "step down" without crashing and burning.  It will be hard because I am like you were....take them whenever but with a plan like that it just sounds like something I can do.

One thing I do want to ask you is did you start exercising?  I use to workout ALL THE TIME but it has gone to the way side and I feel like if I start that back while doing the taper things might be easier for me.  

I know for me if I can find some kind of "good" distraction, life will be some much more enjoyable for me.

Anyhow, thank you for sharing with me and I am hopeful for a successful taper on my part.


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by MyFreedom, Oct 24, 2010
gunitbot ~ Sounds like you are coming along quite well! Congrats! If I had to put a number to it, I'd say I am lingering around 90-95% of my normal self. I can't help with the alcohol part. I'm not much of a drinker. I couldn't tell you the last time I had a drink! Alcohol has always kinda scared me since my dad is an alcoholic. I worry that I would become one way too easily...so I've pretty much steered clear of that demon! lol

I still have random symptoms bug me sometimes. They're never to the degree that they used to be. I do still have the muscle tension/anxiety in my lower back...albeit very mild these days...but it will annoy me occasionally still. A few good stretches usually helps. Also, it usually only comes on when I'm sitting for too long.

Southernbell ~ I should have exercised!!! That most likely would've helped me get back to normal more quickly. I just couldn't will myself to do it. I know that JennyP99 (as well as some of the others) has been exercising all along and I believe it's worked rather well for her. If you can keep yourself active as much as possible you will feel better.

I hope you come up with a schedule that will work for you! Keep us updated on how you are doing.

:)

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by DDowner578, Oct 26, 2010
How long does one have to take these to get hooked?  I started 3 weeks ago when my doc wouldn't allow me to get more vicodin.  I found these online and started by using 2-3 50mg per day.  That gradually rose to 5 50mg a day until I ran out on Sunday night.  I felt ok yesterday but today, I'm feeling very depressed and emotional.  

I know it was only 3 weeks and not 3 years like many of you, but is it possible to be going through W/D's after just 3 weeks of usage?  I want to kick this and vicodins so that I stop feeling awful when not having them around and wasting time thinking about where the next batch was coming from.

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by coach1879, Oct 27, 2010
DON'T BUY ANY MORE....you'll be at 10 or more a day & that's all she wrote!!!!!!

Take the WD's now and don't look back...

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by DDowner578, Oct 27, 2010
Thanks Coach,

WD's are bad (probably not nearly as bad as those who have been on it for years).  But, I guess I too am proof how awful this drug is.  Only in my system for 3 weeks and this is how I feel?  What a hoax.  Barely any sleep last night and RLS is driving me crazy.  No hunger means I have to force-feed myself and then go through the nausea after I eat.  I can't stay off the toilet.  I have no interest in anything.  Feeling hot and sweaty but have the chills at the same time.    And this is day 2.

I truly feel for those that had been fed a bill of lies from there doctor and were put on this drug.  

Thanks for this forum.  It absolutely helps to know there are more out there like me.

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by ladylisa109, Oct 27, 2010
Hey DDowner hang in there because the nastiest of those WDs with be easing up here in a couple of days.  For now there are some things you can take to help ease them some.  The RLS nearly caused me to give up in the beginning but I found out about Hyland's Restful Legs or Hyland's Leg Cramps and it help a ton.  Also hot soaks in Epson salts help a good deal.
Immoduim AD or the Generic form helps with the bathroom troubles.  I didn't eat very much the first couple of weeks (actually lost about 15lbs) but do keep up with fluids like water, gatorade, clear broth etc.  And a good mulit-vitamin.  Also, when you are WDing from Tramadol you are not only wd from a opiate (synthetic) but also an antidepressent that is contained in Tramadol.  Hence the depression and emotional feelings you are experiencing.  I started taking St. John's Wort about a week off of Tram and it helped a lot, you just have to be certain it doesn't interfer or interact with any current meds you are taking.   Hope some of this helps.  It is what I did and it helped me to deal with some of the worse stuff.  After nearly 80 days off Tram I still take the St. John's Wort, multi-vitamin and occassionally the Hyland's because I still get RLS from time to time.   Take care and keep fighting.  Blessings, Lisa

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by DDowner578, Oct 28, 2010
Thank you so much for the good info, Lisa.  I definitely started taking a multi-vitamin.  I've cheered up a little today.  The RLS is definitely still there, but my mind is telling me it's moer than a nuisance than the end of the world as it was for the last 2 days.  Still trying to draw some energy from the deepest recesses in me.  Yesterday, I wanted to lay around all day and feel sorry for myself.  Today I decided that wasn't going to be the answer so I got off the Lazy Boy and did some stuff around the house.  It helps to get your mind out of the "red" and back into the "black."  I haven't tried to bath with epsom salt, but baths are soothing if only temporarily.

The hardest part for me is living by myself.  When you're by yourself often and your mind gets in the dumps, it can be really hard to stop the snowball once it gets rolling downhill.  Today, I melted the snowball as soon as I awoke.

Thanks for the support and help trying to beat this.

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by LivingnPresent, Oct 30, 2010
Hello to all...It has been a very long time since I posted...I've been non strop traveling for several months now for my job..but happy to report that I am 185 days out from my last Tram. I am here to tell you all that it will indeed get better. The biggest joy for me now..one of them...is my mental clarity - Im back to my productive self in my job and that has meant so much.  Since I also gave up alcohol 4 months ago ..I feel even better...I was substituting the alcohol for the tram i have given up.. Yes...the depression has been lifted..Im on Pristiq now...I found a shink who really understood body chemisty and medications and was very knowledgeable of the properties of the nasty tram.  My energy has also come back..my only problem now is food.  this was my very first drug of choice ever..starting in childhood..but I am working on this...I am sorry I've not been able to keep up with all the newcomers out here...but believe me when I say..this is a place of strength and courage and support - so please keep coming out here and share your story.  Mine started back in Jan of this year. It was this forum that started me on the journ ey of withdrawal.  Thank you precious Emily for being here for us all and for maintaining this site. I did see you Fred a few posts above..how good to see you are doing good. Have missed your wisdom to be sure.  To all of you...God bless you as you attempt to remove this horrible drug from your system..it will be well worth it to recapture your authentic self...therapy, antidepressants (if necessary), protein..lots of it, good vitamins and minerals..exercise...prayer...affirmations...12 step meetings for those so inclined...and just coming out here ...all these things will help you on your way.
Sending so much support and hope and strength and you continue to wage this war..
To my old friends out here...I pray you are all well and happy...
Love and so many blessings..
Pat

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by JennyP99, Oct 30, 2010
I've made it to Day 30!! It's definitely getting better...but I still have good and bad days.  Today is a good day...yesterday not so much.  Some days I have this feeling of just being extremely overwhelmed.  It's almost like i have to relearn how to live my life normally.  It amazes me that by day 30 I can still have bad days...Tramadol is some nasty stuff, that's for sure.  Those of you thinking of going off of it, definitely do it... you don't want to be controlled by this stuff any longer.  It's not easy, but it's worth it in the long run to get your life back.  Hugs to all of you... hang in there.

Jenn

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by barbie27, Oct 31, 2010
JennyP99, I have been off tramadol for 60days and my main problem is with my digestive and intestinal tract I have been to the hospital for endoscopies etc. but everything is normal but I certainly do not feel normal, I seem to always have a heartburn type pain in my chest and some days a really bad stomach ache but no help from doctors as they say its nothiong do do with tramadol but I beg to differ. Do you have similar symptoms. I also still feel tired and have mood swings and light flu symptoms which come and go at random. Had a water infection four weeks ago and had to go into hospital because I could not keep antibiotics down and the first thing I was offered for pain relief was Tramadol and I said no and the nurse could not undestand why I would not take it I also told the doctor I wanted it put on my hospital notes that I never want to be given this drug again what is it with these doctors.

Babs

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by ghostman, Oct 31, 2010
Hello, I completely understand this entire issue. Right  now, at 12:00 midnight on halloween night; I have been off them for 24 hours. Ive gone through this before and swore never again, so you have to be careful. It really is just one day at a time.  When i woke up this morning, I didnt feel bad at all, but the withdrawls started hitting me around 3 this afternoon really bad. Right now, im just struggling to write this. This fatigue is so unbelievable!! I cant do anything!! Well, i believee in honesty and i will say that some are supposed to be coming tomorrow in the mail. I know im going to take them. That second day is terrible!1 And when they come I dont think im going to be strong enough to withstand it. I wish I never got hooked on these damn things.

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by JennyP99, Nov 01, 2010
Babs - yes, my intestinal tract is all screwed up...some days I get soooo bloated and end up going to the bathroom like 5 times.  :(  It's very uncomfortable too.  I was thinking that the tramadol was masking whatever might have happened to my digestive tract after my gall bladder was removed, but I'm thinking that maybe all of this is from the tramadol (or lack of). I had some bad stomach pains last week too...almost like a burning feeling.  Someone on here suggesting that I try probiotics...so I bought some lemon ginger tea that has probiotics in it, and have been drinking it 2 times a day.  I've noticed an improvement.  So maybe you should try that too?  I swear, tramadol is truly poison.  

Ghostman - You need to flush them down the toilet when they come...and just stick it out. You've almost gone 3 whole days without them!!  I know this all ***** sooooo bad but honestly, it does get better.  I ended up flushing about 100 of them when I decided to stop taking them...it was the only way for me.  I wasn't strong enough to do a taper...I'm so weak when it comes to these stupid things.  This forum was a huge help for me during the really bad days.  Just typing out whatever I was feeling to people that i knew understood what I was going through really really helped.  We are all here for you...be strong and flush the poison!!

Jenn

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by ghostman, Nov 01, 2010
well, woke up at about 3,4 and 6 civered in sweat. Im talking about to the oint to where I had to get up, change clothes and the bed sheets before I laid back down. Thats the worst feeling in the world!!! Im definitly not strong enough to do a taper. That was my whole plan because at first I was taking lortab 10 and the doctor told me that tramadol was non narcotic and wouldnt give a high feeling at all. Why would he tell me that they dont get you  high? When I take them, im definitly high!! In fact, they get me just as high as lortab if not higher. The pills havent came yet. Im sitting here almost locked up in a fetal position. ive looked in all my secret hiding places.

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by madtram, Nov 01, 2010
How many have you been taking Ghostman?  If you are on a high dose, tapering would definitely help to reduce the worst of the withdrawals.  Enough people have found tramadol harder to get free of than lortab but it's definitely doable.

You have nearly made it through 2 days. Day 3 can be tough too but after that you will often see some improvement.  Can you take some nyquil & knock yourself out, it seems kind of a shame for your investment of the last 2 days to get wiped out when the new pills arrive.

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by ghostman, Nov 01, 2010
madtram, Ive never taken more than 200mg aday. 4/50mg. Iknow that dosent sound like alot, especially listening to the amounts people take. I couldnt even imagine taking more than 2 at one time, they screw me up bad!! Its like im taking a sort of speed or something. Anyway, Ive been consistantly on pills for about 1 -1/2 years now since surgery. They had me on lortab, but I told the doctor that I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, so they put me on the non narcotic tramadol. But yes, 4 a day for the last 2 months and about 4 to 5 lortab 10's a day before that. One thing I can say for tramadol is, it made my withdrawl from lortab almost non existant. So, my plan was to take these tramadols until the withdrawl of lortab goes away, but in the process, I got hooked on these damn thing s again!!! Ive never withdrawn off of anything like this!! Alcohol,marijuana or even lortab,never have I withdrawn like this!! What makes it even harder on my mind is because I know what tramadol withdrawl is like, ive been through it before. Whats so discouraging is the length of time that it takes to stop withdrawing. Ive never seen anything like it!! Its like it comes in waves for an entire month after stopping. At day 2, that prospect can be discouraging.

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by DDowner578, Nov 01, 2010
Ghost,

Hang in there, friend.  I was in a similar situation as you and was taking about the same dosage.  No doubt, at the beginning, the prospects of going through this for a month or longer seems daunting and overwhelming.  I felt guilt, shame, and all the other "great" emotions that it throws your way.  But everyday is one step closer to the end.  Sounds so cliche, but you have to look at it that way.  

I know madtram recommended Nyquil.  In a weird way, it helped me as well.  When the emotional and/or physical pain got to be too much the first few days, I took Nyquil and actually got some rest.  And you know what... when I woke up, I was hours closer to a new day.  The hardest part for me was keeping my mind on something other than the agony I was/am going through.  Nothing seems interesting, books, TV, video games, etc.  But the sun will rise the next day and then the one after that.  

After 1 week, the physical pain is nearly gone.  Still on a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but at least with that, there are some ups, not just all downs as it was the first 3-4 days.  Use this site as a way to reach out if you can't tell anyone else.  It helps to spill the beans to those who know whats it's like.

The journey is bumpy, but I know it will be well worth it.  

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by barbie27, Nov 01, 2010
Jenn, Thanks for that I will try the probiotics I am going to see my doctor on thursday and see what he has to say I really feel unwell at the moment and I wonder if it is all to do with the tramadol or not, my pains are random and no two days seem a like at the moment. How long will it be befor this dreaded drug is out of your system. Does anyone else out there have stomach problems or heartburn type symptoms.
Good luck to everyone trying to be rid of this dreaded tramadol things can only get better.


Babs

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by DDowner578, Nov 01, 2010
Babs,

Yes I too have had stomach/intestinal issues.  I've always had them but they seem to be exagerated now.  LOTS of trips to the bathroom, which amazes me because my appetite isn't back yet.  Hopefully its just the poison coming out.  :)  
Not so much with the heartburn but I definitely have an occasional burning sensation in my stomach.  Something I haven't had since college 15 years ago.  


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by ghostman, Nov 01, 2010
Well, the pills didnt come today and I almost started crying. Now I have no choice but to withdrawl another day. I will tell you this, the more I withdrawl and realize that right now im facing the worst of the withdrawls, I seriously wish those pills wasnt coming in the mail. They should absolutley be here tomorrow. I stood in th emirror a minute ago and told myself that I could continue. Im not playing, im in seriously bad shape, im talking about fatigue to the point of being paralyzed!! When I saw that mail man pull of and he didnt put those pills in th e mailbox, I nearly had a nervous breakdown!!! Now, Im sitting here thinking" good god, here goes another night of involuntary body spasms,followed by soaking night sweats, followed by just barely sleeping, shaking, redfaced, can hardly stand up, but you what? Im facing the worst of it and it hasnt killed me. I pray those pills dont come tomorrow.

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by ghostman, Nov 01, 2010
Another thing. I remember when I would think about the ocean and the tropics and think how magical that was. I would go on vacations and really enjoy myself. Since I started taking pain pills period, I have lost every bit of that magical real feeling. Being completely off that junk is the best feeling I have ever experienced. I miss me. I miss that person I use to be before I got hooked up in this madness. If I take one of those pills tomorrow, all im doing is postponing the agony. Because eventually, im going to have to go through this. Its unavoidable. Either you tough it out and get through it, or you continue taking them just to stop withdrawl. Recently, it got to where the pills wasnt doing what they did in the begining. Really even when im taking them im very nervous. im not bragging but I was a very fit man before this started. Im was in my early 30s , 5'11'' 168lbs and it was all muscle. I worked out all the time. Now, I barely weigh 140lbs. Ive lost almost 30lbs just from taking pain pills. For some reason, those tramadol make you eat even less!! I look like total hell!! My face is sunken in, my rib cage is showing. People look at me like im in the middle of a 10 day cocaine binge. My friends started asking me what was wrong. I told them it was normal to lose weight after surgery. Well, that was a year and a half ago and ive just steadily lost weight. Right now, i havent eatin since yesterday at about 5 pm. So im experiencing the naseua that comes from not eating,on top of these hellish withdrawls. Jesus christ I pray that this is my time to stop.

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by angelmoon, Nov 01, 2010
Ghostman....the last time I was getting my tram refilled my doctor was out of town and his associate would not fill it. Very strange since my doc had put me on them. I was not taking more than my dose.  Then when he did call them in, the pharmacy made a mistake and did not fill them.   Then when they requested a repeat of the fax...they did not get it.  I was already feeling like it might be poison and all the barriers that were thrown up seemed like a sign to me.  I picked up my refill, did a quick 5 day taper cutting down to 1/2 pill a day and then jumped off.  I felt some kind of power over the pills when I would look at the bottle and not take them.  In some way I felt a little better each day in the middle of brutal withdrawals.  When I was sure I would never touch them again and the effects of the terrible depression and lack of energy were fresh in my mind (and still going on), I flushed them.  Please keep going...you are at the base camp of everest...you are almost there...I agree that you already have an investment in withdrawal time.  I swear the payoff is huge.  YOU KNOW that taking them again leads back to the place you were.  I am praying for you.  Ask God for strength, rest when you can, be gentle with yourself and tell those trams to go to hell.  The sun is just around the corner....it is a sure thing.  Sending you much love, prayers and strength.

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by DDowner578, Nov 01, 2010
Ghostman,

It's pretty weird, but after reading your last post, I thought you were writing about me.  It sounds like we are/were the same height and weight and build.  I too am in my early 30's and got hooked my painkillers after busting my foot 3 years ago.  I knew I was in bad shape from these things when I too had the sunken-eyes look and my ribs were popping out of my chest.  They absolutely took control of your normal bodily functions like eating and sleeping.  Your brain needs some time to get back to the oceans and beaches you spoke of.  Please allow for this to happen.  It will be worth it in the end.  Don't put off the inevitable.

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by madtram, Nov 01, 2010
Ghostman, everything above is true & to start again on day 4 would be to squander your investment.

  Yes tramadol makes you lose weight, part of its chemistry is similar to sibutramine which has just been withdrawn from the market due to causing too many side effects.  I was a total gym junkie during the tramadol years but at 2 years off, I am more buff with less training & without the concentration camp cheek bones.

  This can be you.  Trade a relatively short period of pain now for years & years of better living.  If you do, I promise you will not regret it.  I know you don't want to be in this position in 2017.

Best wishes.
M

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by fightorfight, Nov 01, 2010
Ghostman,

I know exactly how you feel, especially that desperate midnight post here.   Its weird just how much this stuff can have you functionally addicted to something-- unlike some of the stronger opioids, Tram at its very best just makes you a hyper-you.  You forget to sleep, eat, going about your business for a month, and then finally it kicks back and you just need it to survive.   Or so you think at least.   I know the whole routine.   Anxiously awaiting the mail or fed ex guy, budgeting pills days before you're out so you're not in full blown WDs to make the money to get the pills... all of it hits you very hard, weight of the world almost.   Until you get the pills, and then its 4-6 hours until you seem fine again.  

As you well know,  that fine is a very big lie, and one that continues cyclically until you get fed up, or you hurt yourself too bad to continue.  

You're 4 days out at this point, which has you just over the summit.   It may not feel like it, but some of the hardest parts are done.   You can rationalize that you'd rather be functional than miserable, but again, its only temporary.  Its a month until you're back to tapdancing and weightlifting, sure-- but functionality, like being able to work, sleep, hell.. even concentrate are much closer-- more like 6-7 days out.     You being 100 is a little ways off, and your dose is small enough to be deceptive-- but it does change you just enough that you really notice when it isn't there.  But how about this?   Would you take being 70-80% of normal after a week.. and then on to greener pastures,  or be stuck in a 4-6 hour window of marginalized 105.3% (Where the 3 always repeats because the drug makes no sense) and then crashing back down to 40?  Even with all the pain you're in now, you'd want the former I'm sure.

Yes, outside of acute withdrawal, you'll get depressed, and tired.. really tired.  But you'll be you.   Also, set little milestones for yourself right now when you're feeling this bad--- all the things you really want to do or enjoy.  For me, going back to work was a huge one, then it was exercise, then it was socializing... every little bit of normalcy you can perfect gets you pointed in the right direction.  

I'm posting again because I'm showing my Mom, who is just now trying to stop, that she isn't alone.   I've got through c/t rawdog and its no fun.   But you're 4 days out,  give it 3 more days and you wont be sweating through your sheets.  You got it man,  give it hell, and give yourself reprieve.  

You've got this,
FoF.

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by gunitbot6, Nov 01, 2010
Ghost man ,

you can do it  i know you can. Cancel your tram subscription. Stay strong going through the pain, i know it is total and complete hell, i went through it and i know how you are feeling every second of every day. Just know that this will end. if you take any more tram you will just be back to taking them just to feal normal. Those pills have to be bad for your heart, and your wallet. Maybe you have a goal you want to accomplish but cant because of the Tramadol.   Think about going to the beach and smelling the air, listening to the waves. Find some motivation to quit this Tramadol. There are things that can help depression. , if you have restless legs there are things that can help for that  If you have no energy there are things that can help for that, take ibuprofen, but not to much because that might make things worse.  If you look back on these message boards you will find out what you can take for all those symptoms to make them a little better. maybe you can see a doctor and tell him your situation, he might be a good doctor and try to help you or  he might steer you in the wrong direction and tell you to take more Tramadol, they tend to do that sometimes.

well hope you can make good  use of any of my advice and don't give up  in a few more days the worst hell will be over.



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by ladylisa109, Nov 02, 2010
Ghostman I really hope you are still hanging in there with us.  I wanted to try and give you a little encouragement and some hope for the not so distant future.  I am currently 84 days clean from Tramadol, 6 day shy of three months.  When I stopped I did a very short taper of like 3 or 4 days then jumped CT.  I didn't have a choice because I simply didn't have the money to have my re-fill and it was the best thing that could have happened to me.  I began taking Tram about 6 yrs ago after being diagnosed with Rhuematiod Arthritis and Fibromyalsia.  Worked great for a year or two then like most people's stories everything started to go down hill.  My normal script wouldn't last long enough and started the on-line buying which is more expensive.  Fast forward to now and I have to tell you I feel incredible!!  I smile more, laugh a lot more, enjoy my family 100 times more and have a sex drive again lol.  I am a 41 yr old Mom of three and not only was my life passing me by it was also passing by my precious children because they were missing out on a Mom that was "there".  My family is completely thrilled with the changes in me and I am proud for just the fact that I am now making THEM happier.  As far as the WDs, they started improving on day 5 for me and continued to improve each day with the occasional rough patch here and there.  If you really want this you can do it...your almost there!  I agree with everyone else here that Tramadol is poison and have actually warned most of my family and friends if there ever precribed it to turn it down.  It is NOT a good pain med for long term pain care.  Hell it isn't even good for short term lol.  As of today my 84th day without Tramadol, I sleep 6-8 hr a night, I am a MUCH happier person and feel like I am finally me again.  Do I still get cravings from time to time???  Yes, but they are fleeting and normally when I am over doing it.  They don't last for long either, maybe 30 minutes and then they are gone.  I have found my pain is actually controlled quite well with OTC medicine.  I still have the ocassional problem with RLS but then again I had problems with that before Tramadol.  While WDing I found out about Hyland's for Restful Legs and Leg Cramps and that has worked wonders for me.  I also continue to take a good multi vitamin each day and St. John's Wort.   I wish I had a crystal ball to show you just how you will feel if you stay off of the Tram and get to 84 days just like me because you would definately not want to turn back now.  Keep coming back here and posting and reading and don't let yourself take another one of those horrible pills.  You are worth it and the life you WILL get back is worth it.  Take care and you are in my thoughts and prayers.  Blessins, Lisa

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by ghostman, Nov 02, 2010
well, I took one, so I guess I'll come back when im serious. Well, I know im serious, but my uncle came by and had 2. I got both of those and took 1 to end the withdrawls. Ive been trying to quit, this last time just because of the fact that i ran out and they still havent got here, so I figured I would go through it and stop. Turns out, I was just withdrawing too bad. It beat me this time. I came here last time I stopped and will continue trying. I feel bad for taking it, but I just wanted it to stop. Now atleast I can sleep so goodnight and thank you.

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by madtram, Nov 02, 2010
Ghost, 1 pill doesn't have to be the death knell for your withdrawal.  Can you get someone to hold the new pills for you when they arrive, to enable you to stick to a taper.  Tapering can take the edge off just enough to motivate you to stick with it.

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by Garnetdawn, Nov 02, 2010
I'm so glad I found this site because it made me realise that I am not alone and there are somany of you out there going through the same thing and know how I feel. I honestly thought I was losing my marbles and I was going to end up in the nuthouse. I have never felt so low, angry, upset, irritated, short tempered, the list goes on. I have not been a very nice person to live with, but at least now I know there is light at the end of the tunnel (somewhere up ahead) and I am determined never to touch those disgusting pills again. Anyway, I take one day at a time and I will get there, I know that. It's just hard sometimes when you feel like your head's going to explode. I wish they would ban drugs like these, doctors never give you the full story.

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by muchforgiven, Nov 02, 2010
Hello everyone.  New to this site and found it by googling how to withdraw from Tramadol. My story is similar to many of yours History of alcoholism and prescription drug abuse. About 10 yrs ago I went through opiate(Oxycontin and Ativan) and Benzo withdrawal cold turkey and I near died. I couldn't put 2 thoughts together for months and that was not even as bad as the physical withdrawal So why am back here again? I fell for the line from my Rheumatologist "have you ever tried Ultram for chronic pain, it is not addictive" I can't believe I was so naive. I am a nurse and have worked in addiction as well as lived it. I am so angryy, but more than that I am so scared of the withdrawal, esp after reading all these posts.
I have been taking 4-6 50 mg. tab/day. I have started tapering today and only plan to take 3 tabs if I can do it.
I do feel hopeful though after reading many of your posts. I really did think I was the only one going through this
Thanks for listening. I would like some feedback about how quickly tp taper










































































































































































































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by fightorfight, Nov 02, 2010
hey muchforgiven,

Welcome, you'll find a great amount of support here.     As far as the taper is concerned, the general consensus here is that going down 1/4th of a pill each week will allow your body to adapt well enough that you eliminate most or all of the WDs.    Thats not to say that you wont get fatigued or tired on the days that you drop down-- but the big stuff (chills, sweats, nausea, GI problems, etc..) wont be there.   There was a poster on the earlier journals, DesperateGrandma (though I think she changed her name here...) who successfully went through a long, slow taper with some pretty great results.

Tapers are great, especially if you're willful enough about keeping to the regimen, that means no "oh I had a hard day" pills.  If you can do that, you can basically nix the acute WDs, and go straight into the general malaise that happens after you've stopped completely.

Fast Tapers are another story,  you're not really staving off WD, but more like getting to a point where you're comfortable dropping off completely.  With a Fast Taper (Meaning dropping single pills each day), you're going to have WDs, though the severity will be a little less than going cold turkey.  Most people here who have done a fast taper normally wind up just jumping after a bit as they get a feel for what WD is like, they have a couple middling moments, but then wind up flushing the rest or throwing them out.

There is a basic guide to them as I've understood, and let me reiterate that the overarching message here is that:  There is no wrong way to stop taking Tramadol.   By any and all means, though there are ways including Tapers that allow you to do so without going through a big acute withdrawal phase.  

Best of luck in whatever you choose to do, and we'll be here to listen whenever you need.
FoF

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by muchforgiven, Nov 02, 2010
Thanks so much FoF, your info is very helpful. I will try the dropping 1/4 pill a wk. for now If the WD isn't so bad or i get impatient to have it over with, I might just jump off and go CT. I admit my overwhelming fear is based on past WD and maybe this won't be so bad .

I am so grateful for everyone's posts as I see so clearly where i was headed. I want to be free.Praying for God's grace to stay strong. I was really beginning to believe there was no way out and now i know there is








I am very grateful to this board because I see so clearly where i was headed and I believe it when you call it he..


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by gunitbot6, Nov 02, 2010
muchfogiving there are things that can help with withdrawals, vitamins, teas, over the counter pain relievers, and  others, suggest you look these up , the best place to look that up is on the boards here. This is how to look things up, for example if you have restless legs, click on edit on the top of your screen and click on find on this page and type in restless legs and it will take you through each message  on here that has restless legs as a subject. Make sure you lok thgoh  other pages of this Tramadol message boards. i hope that helps

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by fightorfight, Nov 02, 2010
No problem muchforgiven,

gunit also gives some good advice about supplementing yourself with other things-- even when you're starting the taper.   The kinder you are to yourself, the better off you'll be regardless.   The guilt, fear, and shame are normal and totally within the realm of Trams influence, but again you're not these pills.

Some other vets will probably post for you here soon as they did for Ghost.   Don't worry and breathe easy.  Slow taper sounds good :)   Don't make this your whole life, just put a plan in place and get it done.   You can do it :)

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by MyFreedom, Nov 02, 2010
muchforgiven ~ I did a long, slow taper and am successfully 223 days clean (about 7 1/2 months). I tried once to go cold turkey (about 5 years ago) and it was just too much for me. Last winter, I finally decided I'd had enough of tramadol running my life...so began my journey. I posted an example of how I tapered quite a few posts up the page, but here's what I said to another person:

When I began my taper the first thing I did was to set a rigid schedule of when I would take them. Before I started my taper, I would just take them whenever I felt like it. I decided on a six hour schedule at first...even using my cell phone to wake me to take them when it was time (my cell phone alarm  was my best friend for those few months). I had to keep my dose and water bottle by the bed so that I could take them during the night when necessary. I stuck to my 6 hour schedule for a few days then I reduced from 3 tabs at a time down to 2 tabs. Then after some time I increased to every 7 hours. Later reducing to 1 and 1/2 tabs....later moved up to 8 hours......later reducing to 1 tab......later increasing to 9 hours.....etc. I finally got down to 1/4 tab every 12 hours before stopping completely. I did this over several months time and I had my doc's approval to do it this way. I think it was actually her idea to do the increase time, decrease dose, increase time method.

Doing this actually helped me to "step down" in the withdrawals instead of having them all come upon me at one time....which was what did me in the first time. I did have mild w/d throughout the taper, but only for a couple of days after each reduction. Once I finally stopped completely, I expected a crash but it never came. What did happen was periods of interrupted sleep (with relief from advil pm or melatonin) and periodic diarrhea (with relief from probiotics or immodium). My biggest problem, as with most people, was the lack of energy. Taking a Vitamin B12 supplement really helped me out. Keep in mind it will take some time for your body to remember how to function without tramadol. It wasn't until just before my 5th month out that I really began to feel normal. I am at 7+ months now and feel great. It will take time. Just go with it. The real *you* will return!

Just know that you can do this...you can beat this drug!! Hang in there and find your anger for tramadol. Once I decided I was angry with what it had done to me, I no longer feared it!

Love and strength
:)

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by muchforgiven, Nov 03, 2010
It makes me cry when I read your posts. You are all so soothing and comforting to a battle ravaged soul. The balm of Gilead. I don't think anyone in my life has spken such kind words to me.Knowing you are all there and fighting the same battle gives me strength as well as my faith in God and His provision.
Thank you som much. I will post more as I go down in my taper.

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by angelmoon, Nov 03, 2010
Dear muchforgiven....isn't this place such a soothing place?  I remember when I was lurking for almost a month and finally posted...I felt the love and support immediately.  Thank God you are here.  For all you newcomers we are here for you.  I am almost 3 months out and still come here everyday to check in with my precious family of angels/warriors.  I found if I searched the site until I found someone who was on the same day as me it would help so much.  Just spending time reading the posts was so nurturing and inspiring to my fight.  I really not only got so much soul support but the specifics of the suggestions of the supplements and methods were a lifeline to me.  If you feel like it go back throught the old posts.  If you can make yourself take a walk in the mornings, it will help.  I really shut down for a while...the energy felt like it was never coming back and I was so sad.  Coming here gave me such strength and prepared me for what was next.  Much love prayers and strength.

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by JennyP99, Nov 04, 2010
muchforgiven - You CAN do this!! :) I wish you the best of luck on your taper and know that we are all here for you! I am on day 35 today...it's hard to believe that just a month ago I was in complete hell, and now I'm functioning like a normal person, able to do my everyday activities and take care of my beautiful 18 month son... all without those stupid pills.  It's the best thing I've ever done, for me, and for my family.  You will feel the same way too.  

Day 35...I would say that while I'm still finding myself to be sluggish, I am doing MUCH better.  Some days I feel like I have no motivation whatsoever, but if I force myself to get off the couch and do something, that it's much easier to continue to do stuff from there.  Ever since I started drinking that lemon ginger tea with probiotics, my gut issues have gotten much better too.  The one thing that really stinks, is that I was doing photography while I was on those stupid pills taking an at home course and doing candid shots of children and pets.  I had a lot of self-confidence while I was on the tramadol, and since I've gone off of them, I just don't feel confident enough to actually take pictures of people and pets other than my own son and dogs. And I'm having some issues trying to focus on studying my course. I know that this will pass...unfortunately I've gone through this before (tramadol w/d) and know the mental issues like this subside with time, I just miss having that self-confidence in my work and that ability to focus.  Tramadol messes with you on so many levels, it's unreal.  I do know that things are getting better though.  Thanks to everyone here for listening to my rants and raves over the past 35 days, it's been so comforting to me...I know you all understand.

Stay strong everyone!
Jenn

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by ghostman, Nov 05, 2010
Well, Ive been trying to do a taper. I dont know if anyone remembers me, but I was waiting monday for my pills to come in the mail and they never did.  Well, I went 2 full days without them and I was so fatigued that I could barely breath!! I literally could not walk straight and I wasnt taking anything!! I got 2 pill from my uncle the other day and that did stop it for a while. I only took them because I figured the tramadol would be in the next day. They didnt come the next day either, I began to go right back into withdrawls. You know, I dont think it would be a bad idea for me to atleast try to taper. Theres no way I can go back into those withdrawls full force like that again. I mean, I have responsibilities and that fatigue issue is unbelievable!!! Then, layng in bed pouring sweat and every 20 seconds my whole body violently jerks!! So, Ive been here reading and thinking and Ive come to the conclusion im going to have to taper, cold turkey is not going to be an option.

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by fightorfight, Nov 06, 2010
Fair enough Ghostman,

By any and all means.   Have faith in yourself too.   You may be surprised as to just how much fatigue is related to some of the other symptomatic parts of WD.   When those two days went by, and you were worried sick about the pills, did you eat anything? make sure to drink enough water and take your vitamins?  Tram withdrawal mimics an extremely severe stomach flu, its a given that you wont be feeling very good.

Make a plan for your taper, and start it-- don't think 2-3 weeks down the line just yet.   Get started, let us know how you do, and we'll go from there.
-FoF

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by angelmoon, Nov 06, 2010
I remember someone said there is no wrong way to stop taking them. That is so true.  Supporting you in your fight Ghostman....much prayers love and strength to you.  Please keep us posted.  It will so be worth it...your energy will gradually return along with a peaceful mind.  In the long run the wisdom of your body is stronger than the pull of these pills.  The tug of war is brief but intense.  Hold on to your end...minute by minute.  I am 3 months out and thought the lack of energy would get the best of me. I absolutely cannot believe how different and better I feel now...it seemed and eternity in the moments...but it was'nt!  The pills are liars. If you can shut down with the excuse you are sick for a few days to stave off the demands on you, that would help. I did take stuff to sleep for a break in the battle and to be closer to just one more day drug free. Certainly you may not be able to do that.  I wish you the best....with God's help you can do it.  Be gentle with yourself and a friend to yourself.  This will be a huge turning point in your life.  We are all behind you and here to help.

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by StuMac, Nov 06, 2010
I am so grateful to have found this site. I am a fourty two year old male who has arthritis and a bulging disc in my lower back from working labor intensive jobs in my twenties. Slighlty over a year ago I went to a "doc in the box" and I requested he please prescribe me a non addictive non narcotic medication to ease stiffness in my back. He prescribed me Tramadol. Over a period of just a few months I began to notice my body building a tolerance to the prescribed six to eight pills a day. Unfortunately, I soon began abusing Tramadol to get the effect I was seeking and was taking twenty to twenty four pills a day for about ten months. I ran out twice and suffered 'hell on earth' withdrawals both times. Then - about a month ago I decided I had enough of living in bondage to this deceptive and dangerous medication. I told my boss that I was an addict and was going to apply for short term disabilty so that I could enter a detox facility and come clean. I was out of work for two and half weeks while going through detox (almost five days) and recovering at home with withdrawals. My God - it was the worst experience I have ever endured BUT I am now free. I am now going through five weeks of rehab four days a week and I am now beginning to feel back to normal. I have learned this - YOU CAN BEAT THIS CRAP!!! I thought the depression and fatigue was going to kill me but I started taking a daily multivitamin, drinking allot of water and gatorade, Boost energy drinks, Five Hour Energy Shots (in moderation), but most of all PRAYER. So many times I thought just four pills and I could end this misery but I hung tough and I am so glad I did. For the time being I am taking Advil and prescription Ansaid for the pain and that is sufficient for me. Don't give in, seek help and the victory will be yours.


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by SheLiz, Nov 07, 2010
Hi Everyone,

                   Am on on the right page yet?  I posted here yesterday and can't find my post on either this or the previous pages.  Anyway here it is again....

I'm an Aussie and I've just found this site.  I am writing this with tears streaming down my face and, after reading as many posts as possible in one sitting, I'm sure I'm not the first. What a relief it is!!!   I have had to take far too many different medications over the years for Anxiety, Depression and PTSD resulting from my military service.  I've also been on many different medications for leg and back pain (Lumbar, thoracic and cervical) due to injuries from a motor bike accident in 1981.  I am at a point where I want to get rid of everything and go back to just being 'me'.
  
I was so relieved to finally find this journal and read that all the discomfort I am going through at the moment is mainly due to Tramal.  I have taken tramal for about a year now and have tried to take it as little as possible.  I thought I was doing the right thing by not taking tramal after about 6-8pm as I thought I could get by without it over night (at that stage I was taking Endep - Amitryptyline which helped me sleep through anything) and thought that the less I took the better.  My various GPs were happy that I was taking it as little as possible but even when I went to them with diarrhea nausea, restless legs and arms, night sweats, extreme exhaustion and a horrible heaviness, none of them mentioned that it could be tramal withdrawal.  I would often improve during the day after taking tramal in the morning and would be at my best later in the day.  I finally worked it out myself (no surprise to most of you, I'm sure).  The doctors put my nausea and diarrhea down to a gastric ulcer and told me to cut down on my coffee and alcohol - I drink 1-2 coffees a day and no more than 8-12 glasses of wine a week - not really enought to cause an ulcer.  I didn't take the tabs they gave me for the ulcer but started taking tramal at regular intervals and my 'ulcer' has been cured miraculously.

Every now and then over the past few months I have googled "tramal withdrawal" as I had a suspicion that what I was feeling when I didn't take it was more than exhaustion from pain and was actually tramal withdrawal.  I have taken tramal in the past and don't remember having any problems coming off it but I was on Norspan patches at the time which would've helped with that.  I started taking tramal again when I went off the patches so now I'm definitely feeling the withdrawal.  

Anyway, I'm now taking tramal at regular intervals during the day and the plan is to make the gaps longer and get off it asap.  I'm down to one 50mg every 5 hours at the moment and hope to extend that to one every 6hrs then 7hrs etc.  I'm not sure if this or cold turkey is the best way to do it but I'm happy to do it this way.

About 4 months ago, after 16 years on Endep (amitriptyline) I changed from that to fluvoxamine )another nightmare entirely).  I haven't slept since :-(  This was an attempt by me to change to a lesser drug but it has back fired and now I've been put on Seroquel (quetiapine) to help me sleep (it has many other uses including treating the symptoms of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder but I was just using it in a low dose to help me sleep).  I gave that up as I thought it was cuasing the horrible heaviness and depression I felt each morning (might not have been the cause??)  Now they have put me on to Olanzapine (trade names Zyprexa, Zalasta, Zolafren, Olzapin, Oferta, Zypadhera) to help me sleep.  I avioded it at first thinking it would just be like Seroquel but gave up after about 2 weeks averaging 2-5hrs sleep a night.  I just had a 12 hour sleep last night so have had to grab a tramal as soon as I woke up.

Enough rambling, I'm just happy to find this journal and wish everyone here all the best with getting rid of tramal and it's horrible effects.  Now, when I'm having a sleepless night I can at least come out here and read some posts.  I will be looking for some nice natural withdrawal treatments soon so thank you all for your posts.  

My all of our arms and legs be at peace


PS - One thing that kinda helps sometimes is talking books.  I have started to borrow books on CD from the library and some nights when I can't sleep I listen to them.  Even if I don't following the story it is just nice having someone read to you and can help a bit.  I've usually got heat packs on various bits as well.  It can be a bit of a nice distraction at times.

SheLiz
xox




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by fightorfight, Nov 07, 2010
Sheliz,

Thank you so much for posting first--- Getting to the journals the right way sometimes takes a little time, so I can understand what I relief it is to finally post and get into it.    There are plenty of stories over the course of days, weeks, and months of people going through Tramadol withdrawal, and they're very helpful as to what to expect and how to cope/and ease symptoms.

Being from the Land of Oz, I'm actually quite surprised that you were put on Trams--- normally they sort of shy away from prescribing it, and normally stick to opiate derivatives.  In any case, you probably are experiencing WDs... that list of symptoms, including the overall "heavy" or "walking through peanut butter" feeling is Tram at its worst.  Thats ok, and totally normal.    Know that it does fade and then get better, the reason it seems so endless is because you're basically right at the point where your dose is keeping you out of WD, but barely... and each time you come down, your body will get like that.   Its normal, and a good way of understanding that your body is ready to get it out of your system.  

Tapering your dose like that may be a good idea-- Myfreedom has a similar set up whenever he/she did the same thing. Just remember that it may be a little bumpy regardless.   Again, since you're in Aus you've got a couple different strategies you can use.   I know they're very benzophobic, which may be tough initially, but I think you'd be better off not going the Valium or Xanax route.   As far as going cold turkey, isn't codeine (mixed in a preparation with Acetaminophen) de-regulated over there?   Don't want to switch one for the other, obviously, but anything that would be mu opiod receptor hitting would ease the initial acute phase.

I made the same sorts of mistakes as far as anti-depressants.   Unless there is a real reason for you to be taking antipsychotic medications (like hearing voices, depersonalization), I wouldn't.    Seroquel works to knock you out, but anything along the lines of Zyprexa (or other loaded anti-histamine variants) is going to block your dopamine receptors or downregulate them, cause you to be extremely tired, and in the case of zyprexa, gain a large amount of weight.  Unfortunately, its currently en vouge for physicians to prescribe atypical antipsychotics, when first line treatments like SSRIs, TCAs and the like fail.    They really do not help, and can cause some serious and lasting side-effects like Tardive syndrome.  

Far as similar mechanisms of action for an anti-depressant like Tramal, you'll probably want to look into something along the lines of Wellbutrin.   Its an NRI, which is similar to part of a property that Tramadol has.   This would probably help you with energy as well.   It will not give you the same sort of  happy feeling that Tramadol does, as its not a SSRE (a serotonin releaser), there are no legal medications that function in this manner, and closest example would be something like MDMA or ecstasy.   I don't think Wellbutrin is prescribed in Aus, but it comes in another form for quitting smoking called Zyban, its the same medicine.  

Far as sleep is concerned, they do prescribe zopiclone (ambien and lunesta's cousin) there for insomnia.   Since its a z-drug, its functionally similar to a calming medication which could help you as you WD.  

Ah, well I've blathered enough, good luck with your taper- and be careful with the Zyprexa.

-FoF.

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by muchforgiven, Nov 08, 2010
Hello again. Update on my taper. Had to put our dog down yesterday. He was 16 and part of our family. Anyway, I felt so bad, I took an extra Tram. Well today I feel like I have a hangover, headache, restlessness, anxiety, etc. Amazing to me what these little pills can do.
Today I am more determined than ever to get off as soon as possible. I still think I need to taper for now but with God and your help, I hope to be free in about 8 wks. Does this sound realistic? I am at 3 1/2 50 mg. a day. One in the morning, one around 1pm and 1 1/2 at bedtime.
I don't think I've hated anything more in my life than the bondage to pills. Praying for me and for all of us fighting the good fight today.

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by SheLiz, Nov 08, 2010
Thanks FoF - It's just before 4am here, a time of night I'm sure we're all quite familiar with :-)  I'm going back to my GP later this morning and I'm going to tell them what my plans are so they know what's happening.  The rough plan is to keep tapering down the tramadol, then down the track get rid of the Zyprexa then the Fluvox.  Not sure how long that will all take but that's the plan of attack at the moment.  
I've just moved house and I'm in the middle of getting to know my new GP and vice versa.  I was at my last house for over 10 years and all the doctors there knew my history well (I was there so often they offered me a key to the door). So, having to 'break in' new ones at this time is not ideal.  The promising thing is that the 3 docs I have seen at this clinic so far have all questioned the tramal and have not been happy to give me more than 4-5 days worth at a time.  It's been a bit inconvenient having to go back all the time for new scripts but at least I know they will be supportive of me trying to get off it.
It was one of my neurosurgeons that put me on to tramal in the first place after he wrote a nasty letter to my other neurosurgeon for putting me on to the Norspan patches.  I was so disgusted with the whole thing that I 'sacked' both of them.  The patches were easy to come off in comparison to what I have gone through with the tram.  
Anyway, As of yesterday I'm down to taking 50mg 6.5 hours apart and the moment and it's ok (so far).

Nice to have this journal to do the middle-of-the-night ramblings in :-)

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by gunitbot6, Nov 08, 2010
On the first day of withdrawals Tramadol gave to me  diareah flow

on the second day of withdrawals Tramadol gave to me
two headaches and
diareah flow like no other.

on the third day of withdrawals Tramadol gave to me only  
three hours of sleep
Two horrible headaches
and a diareah like no other

on the forth day of withdrawals Tramadol gave to me
four resless limbs
three  hours of sleep
two horible headaches
and one diareah like no other

. no energy , a little depression ext........

love truly your friend Tramadol.




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by bethwillprevail, Nov 08, 2010
Hey Tram Warriors,

Hope everyone out there is fighting hard against these horrible pills that rule your life!  I have been traveling and not able to post for awhile.  I am now 81 days free and doing well.  It is a hard battle, but YOU CAN WIN!!

Muchforgiven and ghostman:  I took tramadol for 10 years.  I attempted to stop several times before getting off successfully.  The thing that gets you off is the anger toward the pills and what they have doen to your life.  The counting, the waiting for the Fed-Ex truck (if you are buying thiem online), the horrible lows I felt when it was time for my next dose, the mood swings, the way they affected my family, the lack of concentration, the inability to focus, frequent upset stomach, and the list goes on and on.  Get mad at what these pills are doing to you.  The bondage they have on you.  The control they have over you.  Then get a plan, write it down on paper so it is concrete, and carry out your taper or however  you decide to get off these lying pills.  The pills work on your brain chemestry to make you believe you have to have them.  YOU DONT NEED THEM!!  There had been many days I felt I could never get off those pills, but I got mad enough and sick enough of the bondage that I set my mind to it.  If I can do it after 10 years, you can do it too!!

I also believe you have to decide what you can tolerate as far as tapering.  Some people do fine with a long slow taper.  I personally did a fast taper from 250 mg per day to zero in about 5 days.  IT was fast, but I got it over with. For me, I thought I would do better to just tough it out and get through the bad part.  The first 5 days off are hard- just expect it to be bad.  But I figured I got myself into this and I was determined to be free.  Just keep true to your plan for tapering- whatever it is- stay on it the best you can.  If you falter a little, dont give up, just remember why you are doing this and get back on the plan.  I had one day during my taper where I just couldnt take it and took like a 1/4 extra pill just to help me thru.  Be gentle with yourself, however during that first 2 weeks off.  Plan ahead the best you can to give yourself a break.  Get plenty of rest, take B vitamins, and use other techniques listed in these journals to help yourself through.  Read way back in Emilys journal.  I read it over and over.

My faith in God has helped me greatly thru this trial.  I think the trams really negatively effected my faith- made me less able to connect with God.  I relied on the pills to get me thru the day instead of my faith.  I am so glad to be free now with nothing standing in my way of my walk with God.  This was another reason I wanted to be free of the pills.

This journal helped me to freedom  I would not have made it without the people here- MyFreedom, ForF, TH, Lisa, James, and many many others.  Just be strong and you will find great support and help from this community of people who have been where you are now.  We have been there and we know you can make it to freedom!!  The battle if worth it!!

Kindest wishes and strength to be free!!
Beth


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by Rumplestilskin, Nov 08, 2010
Hello I'm relatively new here but have been posting and asking questions but I just found this journal today and boy I am so glad I  did!!! :-)  it's been just about 3 weeks Cold Turkey for me after only a month at 2 50mg pills twice a day.  when I stopped and started experiencing all this anxiety and what I call insomnimania I knew something wasn't right so I took my regular dosage after two and half days of that and sure enough it confirmed that I had gotten addicted to the Tram after just 30 days.  The first week was absolute HELL!!! I almost thought I had it's pattern of manifestation down to "on" days and "off" days but then it suddenly became random everyday some consistency for two days of differing types of experiences but lots of mood swings, crying uncontrollably, unable to do much of anything other than chain smoke, take 2-3 freezing cold showers a day.  After I realized it was the Tram I went cold turkey and only made it for 7 days before I cracked and tried to taper but that made me more frustrated than anything and only lasted 3 days.  Then I went cold turkey but got a but load of vitamins: multi, super b complex, vitamin E, L-lysine, Flax Seed Oil, Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc, had already been taking 1000mg of Vitamin C per day, and also started taking two 25mg pills of Valerian root which dramatically reduced the angry, bitter pissy attitude I had the first 7 day cold turkey I tried.  I just went back on my anti-psychotic Loxapine and that was last night and today was GREAT.  I slept for 8 hours straight through (and perhaps some beer I had helped but I'm not sure how alcohol has affected the WD one way or another other than it chills out the anxiety when it gets real bad).  I'm going to see if now I'm back on the Loxapine things start getting even better for about every 7 days the WD got a measurable degree in being more tolerable.  It's still been hell, I feel confused some days, manic and hyper thought active other days, some days I have both at once or one way int he morning and the other way dragging tired and foggy head at night and vice versa.  Thank you all for sharing your success stories it really is great because when I called my clinic where I see my primary care physician and psychiatrist and told them what was happening and that I needed help badly the duty nurse almost shortly said "There is absolutely nothing I can do to help you, you'll just have to wait for your doctors appointment."  Which happened at the time to be a month and half away.  Yeah this evil drug needs to come with a Black Box warning and get the top class rating in the DEA's classification of dangerous addictive substances; but of course we all know Big Pharma is making BANK on this drug and will use all manner of "plausible deniability" in order to keep the cash flow AND addictions going :-/.

Anyway, I'm getting better, today has been my most productive day so far with the most mental clarity I've had in a month going through this as it started getting bad while I was still taking it I just didn't realize I was going through mini withdrawals in between my morning and night dosages of the Tram.

Thank you all again, it's great to find such support here!

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by MrMike1960, Nov 09, 2010
Hi all,  I'm new here. Ive been on tram for about 10 yrs. I take 150mg four times a day. I have been through hell this year. I found out that I had kidney cancer, i had to have my right kidney removed in january. I cant help but think that the tramodol caused my kidney cancer.
so, now i have one kidney and am still on the tram. I originally took the dope as a  part of a two drug combination with nerontin to control a nerve disorder i contracted after a serious bout with a flu bug where i had 104 temp. for 3 days straight.
I am scared to death to get off this crap. when i get to the point when the tram wears off, I get hot flashes, severe lack of energy, depression and other things I cant remember. thats another problem, I cant remember how to speak well, I forget the right words to use when i talk to someone.
Well, now i have one kidney and dont know what to do. I cant handle the symtoms of cold turkey stopping of the pills.
The depression i get when i dont take it is really really bad. its a really dark depression.
I want to get professional help but i feel they are going to poo-poo me saying tram is not a bad addictive drug. I want to be addmitted into a hosp. and get off this sh!t the right way. I dont have the strength to do it on my own, whether its cold turkey or tapering off.
Has anyone here had problems with their kidneys or liver from this crap they call tramodol?

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by MrMike1960, Nov 09, 2010
I feel if i dont do something soon, I will be dead man sooner than I already will be.  I cant believe this is happening...

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by Rumplestilskin, Nov 09, 2010
MrMike 1960 Please yes your idea of going to the hospital sounds like a very wise and prudent plan.  Please if you have a doctor or insurance act as quickly as possible.  One month of using Tram F****d me up big time, and with your kidney issues you most definitely need to be under constant medical surveillance while going through a taper WD and do your best to make sure the treating physicians understand the nasty nature of Tram and its withdrawal symptoms.  Read through this journal and seek medical attention as soon as you possibly can.  Please hang in there, I have been close to death myself do to multiple physical medical ailments so I understand your fear and pain as one of my conditions threatened my kidney health as well though I've not noticed the Tram having any effect on them but thats just me.  You need to get checked out and assessed by professional familiar with this drug and your condition ASAP.  Please don't lose hope, if I can make it through what I've been through (PM me if you want to talk more about that) so can you.  Your life will be so much better without the Tram and YOU CAN MAKE IT!!!!!  Keep posting, asking questions and make that appointment, call whoever and wherever you have to to get the help you need!

My thoughts and prayers are with you, please take care and don't give up, there's so much more to life, the pain of this CAN BE OVERCOME!!!!!!

Peace Be With You

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by JennyP99, Nov 09, 2010
Day 40 for me today... I can't even believe it's been 40 days.  Today isn't one of my better days though...I have no energy or motivation and my muscles feel weak.  I can't believe that after 40 days I feel like this.  Just hoping that tomorrow is better.  I've gained weight since I stopped taking tramadol... which I don't like at all.  I was able to lose weight on the tramadol and felt so much better about myself, now the weight is back... ugh.  I know that things will get better, but today I'm feeling kind of down and out.  Thanks for listening...writing here always makes me feel a little better.  

Hang in there everyone, we can do this!!

Jenn

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by Rumplestilskin, Nov 09, 2010
Today *****!!!!  Even after I started my anti-psychotics two nights ago and had a wonderful day yesterday 1 day before my todays 3 weeks free of that poison today is CRAP!!!!  Insomnimania, scattered thoughts, ADHD crap, confusion, mood swings, ANGER< ANGER" ANGER  when will this EVIL DRUG GO AWAY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

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by ImDONENoMore, Nov 09, 2010
Hi JennyP99,

I posted here a while ago at about 67 days out - I too was having a low day and felt discouraged.

But I'm at 105 days today and feel pretty good - outside of some back pain I'm experiencing, but I have OA and the pain for me will always come and go.  But mentally I've never felt better.  Or stronger.  And you too will continue to get stronger.  I guess some days we just have to remind ourselves that even if we're feeling low, it is temporary.  I've read your progress since you came on and you're doing great.  You should be VERY proud of yourself.

I can definitely relate to the weight gain thing.  When I was taking the tramadol I was at my perfect weight and felt really great about that.  But that was the ONLY thing I felt great about when I was taking that poison, so if we have to deal with a few extra pounds while we're recovering, then so be it right?  Small price to pay for such a huge reward.  But I know it's discouraging.  My OA keeps me from working out the way I used to, and I think I may have used food, in a way, to deal with the void from not taking the tram.  But I know this will pass too and soon this whole ordeal will be a distant memory for all of us, a very bad chapter finally closed.

Its funny - I still take my bp medicine (that's all I take now, except for the occasional excedrin or aleve) and it was up for a refill a few days ago.  I actually had to LOOK UP the phone number for the pharmacy.  This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it was a HUGE deal for me.   I mean, I NEVER forgot the pharmacy number, in fact, I had SEVERAL pharmacy phone numbers stored in my memory, and now I had to look up the number!  It felt so great - a small little victory of my very own.  Hey, I'll take it!

Sometimes I wonder if our personalities are more "prone" to addiction and that we think we're supposed to feel great every day.  Except when you think about it, I didn't have ONLY great days before I started taking the tram.  I had good days and bad days.  And I accepted that because that's the way it was supposed to be.  It's life, right?

Keep going - you're doing great and you will continue to be even better than you were before!!

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by SheLiz, Nov 09, 2010
Hi everyone

                 I have been quite happily sticking to my plan of a slow taper off the tram.  I'm now on 50mg every 7 hours and doing ok.  I went out yesterday and stocked up on lots of good food (and some comfort stuff as well :-) knowing that when I get hit by the 'evil heavy exhaustion' again I won't be able to cook let alone go out and shop for food.  I've also stocked up on Valerian, Magnesium, Vit B etc.

                I had a couple of weeks of 2-5 hours sleep a night then I gave in and used the Zyprexa for 4 nights.  The first 3 nights I slept pretty well but, of course, by the 4th night I had gotten used to the sedation effect of Zyprexa and only got 3 hours sleep - it was a good 3 hours tho :-)  I had a great physio session yesterday and also readjusted my other medications and actually had a good sleep last night without anything.  I also went to one of my new GPs yesterday and TOLD them what my plan of action was re:  getting rid of Tramal and then evrything else I'm on.  I have their approval :-)

               'Insomnimania' - that hits the nail right on the head.  If we use it often enough it could end up in the dictionary.

Cheers to all
SheLiz

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by MyFreedom, Nov 09, 2010
Jenny ~ Congrats on day 40!! You've come a long way already!! Just keep in mind that the further out you get, the less those bad days will show up...and at some point, your resolve will outweigh them. YOU will be able to take control of those days instead of those days taking control of YOU. It wasn't until I hit around the 4 and a  1/2 month point that I saw the biggest turning point (I'm at 230 days now...7 and 1/2 months). From that point on, I'm a different person. I'll still have a bad day here and there, but as ImDONENoMore put it....aren't we supposed to have bad days? It will take all of us a while to undo what tram has done to us.

Stick with it, everyone! There are much better days ahead!

Love and strength!
:)

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by JennyP99, Nov 10, 2010
ImDoneNoMore - Congrats on 105 days! Thank you so much for your words!! I can really relate to everything that you said. You're absolutely right when you said that we are supposed to have bad days... I think we all forget that aspect of life, because when anything bad happened before, or if we felt crappy we popped pills to "fix" it.  The weight thing stinks...but you're right, it's a small price to pay for overall better heath from being off the poison.  And congrats on your own personal victory...to people who haven't been there, they wouldn't understand, but all of us who have completely get it!! Thanks again, stay strong!! :)

MyFreedom - Congrats on 230 days, I'm glad you feel so much better!! :) I can't wait until I don't have days like this anymore, I know it takes awhile to get back to normal, it's just frustrating feeling like crap for so long. Don't get me wrong, i'm SO much better than I was a month ago...it's just amazing to me that after 40 days we can all still feel not so great. I don't crave the tramadol at all... I just want the active me back!!

You know, i noticed something the other day.  I thought I would share it with all of the new people going through this, or people that are thinking about going off of the tramadol to maybe give you a different outlook.  When I was taking the tramadol, I thought that I was so much more active and productive.  But now that I've been off of the pills for awhile, I've noticed that I wasn't more productive when taking the pills, if anything I was more scatter brained.  I would start 100 things... but none of them ever got finished because I would be on to the next thing 2 seconds after starting something else.  Because of this my house was a wreck and in turn I was too. The tramadol made me think that I could focus better, but I don't think that I could because I was all over the place.  Now that I've been off the pills for 41 days, my entire house is clean and organized, I've been doing many more activities with my wonderful son and my husband and I have been getting along SO much better (He is on Day 38 today!).  I think that the pills made us both moody, so we were arguing a lot before we went off of them.  Now that we've been clean, we hardly ever argue and things are so much better between us.  We celebrated out 9 year dating anniversary last week, we've been through so much together, good and bad and are so thankful that we have each other.  While you're taking the pills, you don't realize how much damage they are actually doing until you stop taking them.  Keep that in mind everyone!

Stay strong!!
Jenn

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by Rumplestilskin, Nov 10, 2010
Well my bad day went to worse especially after I started drinking to calm myself and I got the opposite results and it wasn't fun.  Today though I feel much calmer and clear headed, a little shaken but not stirred (LoL).  I just hate how I can't predict when I'm going to have a bad day but I'm so glad this journal is here and all the support here.  No insomnimania today so far but it still early.

So does anyone have any experience with how alcohol affects these withdrawals in terms of the overall process?

Blessings and Best Wishes to us all on this challenging journey!  

I actually got 5 hours in a row last night and then 2 more hours after being up just an hour! :-)  not bad considering I started out barely patching together one or two hours of sleep once or twice a day...

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by ImDONENoMore, Nov 10, 2010
Hi Rumplestilskin,

YES!!!!  I completely know what you mean about the alcohol making things worse.  Although I haven't gotten to the point of being totally hammered from drinking after I quit the tram, even just a glass or two of red wine really blows up my symptoms afterward.  In fact, even as little as an hour after I've had a glass of wine I feel SO much worse.  So yes, you're not alone.  Alcohol isn't doing us any favors.  So I've abstained from any alcohol and that helps.

It's funny - before taking all of this crap, a glass of wine would completely relax me.  Now it only revs me up and makes me feel worse.  So I think it's probably best for anyone whose body is in such a sensitive state to stay away.  Maybe it has something to do with our central nervous system readjusting itself.  It just doesn't seem able to handle any mood-altering substances during this time.  Obviously, I'm no doctor, so I really don't know for sure.  Just feels that way.

And congrats on the 5 hours of sleep!  I found sleep to be my first reward when I stopped taking the tram (a reward that took quite some time to come, but it did come!).  And let me tell you - it's a HUGE gift that I do not take for granted.  Sleep is my best friend now.

JennyP99 - I totally understand about thinking we were more focused and together when taking tram.  My husband tells me I was like a "robot" when I was on that poison - just going through the motions, never having an opinion about ANYTHING, just saying "yeah, whatever you want"...blah, blah, blah.  Now I'm present for him, and yes, I actually DO have an opinion.  And even though he doesn't agree with everything I say (nor would I want him to!), I think he appreciates the fact that he's finally back with someone who actually cares enough to have an opinion.  And btw, congrats on the 9 year dating anniversary!! :-)

And yes my house was also in total disarray.  In addition to getting regular sleep back, getting my house back in order was another "reward".  I know having a clean house is not the most important thing in life, I know.  But it makes me feel good and makes me feel more together.  For whatever reason, it seems that during recovery having order in your life makes such a difference.  It's calming if that makes any sense.  I no longer fear when the doorbell rings who might see my house.  It's nice to be proud of my home again.

Everyone keep up the good work!!  We are all getting much closer to a great life, with all of its ups and downs, than we realize.  :-)

P.S.  And let's not forget about the "little" things in our life that bring happiness (clean house, walk in the fresh air, clean linens when we go to bed, a smile from a stranger) that feel so great.  Those "little" things add up to a lot of GOOD!!

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by fightorfight, Nov 11, 2010
Alcohol seems to speed withdrawl up-- not so much making it go faster, but rather it brings on the symptoms of WD on faster than if you had not drank.   When i went through, I tried that actually, within the first few days and regretted every drink.    Has a lot to do with the fact that you're probably very serotonin and dopamine depleted-- while alcohol releases these in everyone, Tram dumps your reserves in the same way--- except it also blocks nor epinephrine receptors, which is why you have the perception of energy.  

Stay off the drink while you go through the first week, and the second in my opinion--- it will not help you sleep, will dehydrate you even more, and just make you more depressed emotionally.   As a flipside to that, after the fact,  a few beers, drinks will affect you much more than when you were on Tram-- so be careful.   I do drink a glass of wine every other day now, and it did and continues to help with GI issues that seem to be there longer than I'd expect with this particular subset of drug.

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by Rumplestilskin, Nov 11, 2010
It's 1:51 PST and I'm UP and the Insomnimania is looking like it's going to be strong this morning.  I woke up angry with an angry song's chorus running through my mind.  I also have schizophrenic auditory hallucinations to deal with and when I'm angry they tend to be too so this withdrawals have bee extra screwed because of it's chaotic ups and downs.  I don't know how much sleep I'll end up getting today but I've got three boxes of lots of twinkies, I'm going to hunker down and pray for nightful, as time usually seems to travel much faster when the insomnimania is in full swing, a blessing on one hand when I'm manic and "happy" :-/ but a curse cause on top of scattered rapid thoughts making difficult to get anything productive done I'll be doodling on the computer with a list of thing to get done and before I know it it's 5pm and the it's time to make dinner and all I usually want to do by that point is get that done, eat, take my pills (not Tram) and go to sleep, as on days like this the insomnimania can quickly switch halfway through the day and become insomnimangria!  

Oh well wish me well, another tough day possibly ahead and it's only 2am.... :-( I've only had less than two hours of sleep that the least hours in a row I've had in weeks.  How is it a bad day can be worse further out than some of the worst days in the beginning?

Working to keep the faith....

Rumplestislkin

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by lizzielang, Nov 11, 2010
This site has been extremely helpful to me- I have watched it for a month on and off.  I began a taper in August - am now reduced to four 50mg. a day. Tomorrow will reduce to 3.  I find it very very difficult, but intend to get this drug out of my life.
Thank you for all your support and honesty

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by Rumplestilskin, Nov 11, 2010
3-4 hrs of sleep so far...can't think right, aches and pains, headaches, tired but can't sleep,.... :-(   glad I have somewhere to say that where people understand....feel like a flat tire talking to myself and eating twinkies I have 2 more boxes of 10...

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by lizzielang, Nov 12, 2010
A little about myself.  I was prescribed Tramadol for a broken wrist back in January this year-- I noticed at once that it also helped my lower back pain where disc problems and scoliosis have bothered my for years.  I took up to 8 a day for at least 6 months before I realised I was becoming a different person.  My work suffered, my relationships with my family deteriorated, I found myself dis-interested in just about everything.  Fear started to stalk me, my life began to feel a muddle.  I started to reduce in August after reading lots of information about the side effects and damage this drug can cause.  When I found this site - it was wonderful, as without really knowing it - I was feeling so isolated and alone and ashamed.
I am down to three 50mg capsules which I take at 7/8 hour intervals.  The withdrawal feelings at this stage are horrible.  I feel uneasy most of the time, thirsty, cannot sleep for more than 3 hours at a time- and I have the feeling I have flu all the time.  Absolutely no concentration, so I am not working.  I am self employed thankfully. I think I will have to go back to four capsules if this continues much longer- perhaps the step down from 4 to 3 was done too soon--I don't know.  Please give me advice if you can.
I have had addictions in the past to co -proximol and valium, and alcholol.  I have been with AA a long time- sober many years.  I did not realise that Tramadol was addictive.  I have never ever felt so desperate, depressed and hopeless.  Meditation has just about saved me - but some days have been so dark.  
JennsP99s story has been inspirational--thank you Jenn. Angel moon and Beth also helped me persevere with the tapering.  I have to find myself again as right now my life seems to be someone else's-  there is absolutely no happiness - no wish to engage with anyone.  I live in a secluded place, and have been holed up for quite a while.  I thought I was strong and could get through the tapering but this is very very hard.

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by SheLiz, Nov 12, 2010
Just thought I'd check in again.  I'm still doing the very slow taper and apart from lack of sleep and a bit of anxiety I'm hanging in there pretty well.  I'm going down by 1/2 hr intervals at the moment.  Yesterday I was down to 50mg at 8hr intervals, today it will be 8.5 hr intervals and tomorrow 9hr ints.

LizzieLang - I am also grateful I work from home and can work when I feel up to it and not when I don't. I try to do as much as I can when I'm clear headed and 'alive' so it doesn't matter so much when I'm incapable of doing anything at all.  Re: going back up to 4 x 50mg a day - did that when I found that dropping down by number of tablets was too 'violent' and started just extending the hours in between instead.


I'm seeing a Physio once a week as all of my muscles are so permanently tensed up they are putting my ribs, upper back and neck right out.  I'm having 2hrs of massage and reflexology every Friday which is costing me about 1/3 of my income but is helping quite a bit and is a great albiet painful distraction at the time.  It's just after 6am here in Melbourne and I'm heading out to be the first to arrive at the local lap swimming pool for the first time ever in my life.  I'm going to get some laps in before the lead weight feelin kicks in before my next Tramadol is scheduled at 7.30 this morning.  I got a solid, restful 4hrs sleep earlier which, these days, I'm pretty happy with :-)

I hope you are all finding some peace and comfort



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by gunitbot6, Nov 12, 2010
is tramadl addicting


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by gunitbot6, Nov 12, 2010
oops dont mind that last post , i though i was in the google toolbar righting this, i know its addicting i just want to see what comes up in the google search

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by JennyP99, Nov 12, 2010
lizzielang - I'm glad that my story has been inspirational for you... whenever I write on here, I hope that I am reaching out to people out there that find themselves in the same situation as myself.  You just have to remember that you CAN do this... I am so very weak when it comes to pain pills...so if I can do this, I know that you can too! :)  Hang in there, this forum is a wonderful place to come to when you're down and out, for some reason typing what I was feeling here REALLY seemed to help me.  I hope it does the same for you.  Remember, you're already strong for starting this whole w/d process!! You're not alone, all of us have been in the same place. Hugs to you.  

sheliz - congrats on your taper! You're doing great! Stick with it and hang in there...it's really great to get your life back again!

Day 43...I actually woke up feeling great this morning, it was a wonderful feeling.  I remember when I was taking the tramadol, I couldn't even function in the morning until I took those stupid things.  Now I can wake up normally, be awake, aware and ready to go without any pills.  I felt free this morning...this is the freedom i've been waiting for.  I'm finding myself to be excited about things again...looking back, I was like an emotional zombie when I was taking the pills.  Like I had no feelings, I couldn't cry, or be excited, or anything...it was like I couldn't feel anything emotionally.  Now, I'm actually LIVING life...feeling all that I should be feeling, which is the way it should be.  Today was a good day, very clarifying, productive and reflective for me.  I'm dragging a little bit tonight, feeling a little weak and lazy, but I'm not getting down about that, I'm slowly learning to take the good with the bad...and today was really good, so I can deal with a not so great evening.  :)  For everyone out there that is going through this hell, just know that it does get better...lots of ups and downs along the way, but progressively better.

Stay strong everyone!!
Jenn  

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by bethwillprevail, Nov 12, 2010
Lizzielang-  hang in there.  You can do this!!  As far as tapering, I felt so bad during my taper, that I just hurried it along so  could get it over with a start feeling better.  I tapered off 250 mg over 5 days- dropped one pill per day until I was off.  Then the first few days off were not good- foggy headed, flu like symptoms, aching, lethargy, headache, restless leg syndrome, and very dark and gloomy.  But!!  After those first few days, I began to see myself returning.  Little glimpses.  After 14 days I was feeling decent.  I also have a job where I can work from home and so I took it easy, ate what I wanted too, took hot baths, took some aspirin and hunkered down.  This site got me through those days.  At day 87 or so, I am feeling good most of the time.  I can concentrate again.  I can connect with my family.  And the dark depression and mood swings of the beginning withdrawal is gone.  My energy is mostly back.  I still have some issues, but I took that stuff for 10 yrs.  I see improvement in a two steps forward and one step back manner.  The recovery is not linear- it is an up and down thing.  If you expect the ups and downs you will not get too discouraged.  It is so important to just keep to your plan!  Do it for you and your family.  Do it for a great life ahead where you can be truly present and not all trammed up.  Don't give into the lies tat these pills will tell you.  The lies that say you can't do things without the trams.  It is a lie.  I can tell you as someone who has been through all this that it is truly worth it and you will feel better.  Just dont give in or give up!

Praying for strength for all trying to be free!!
Beth  

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by lizzielang, Nov 13, 2010
I desperately needed some response to my post I realize now.  I feel really grateful, indeed tearful, to read the incredible encouragement from Beth, Jenn and SheLiz.  Thank you so very much for bothering to write.  I long to be where you Jenn and you Beth are.  I don't think I can remember when I last felt relaxed and free.  I've always tended to depression even as a child, so was perfect material for addiction.  It's taken me years and years of battling with myself to get to where I am now --on this huge journey as I see it to self discovery.  One day I want to feel that Tramadol was the final straw that broke my resistance to being who I truly am--whoever that person is.  I already know that it is not who I am now-- I already know buried in the depth of me is a good, kind, deep person capable of giving and experiencing happiness.
I stopped smoking last January - that was a real triumph after many failed attempts, only to allow myself to get hooked on Tramadol.  I have not yet sorted out a suitable, non addictive pain med for when I really quit and my fairly intense back pain kicks in.  Maybe I just have to live and experience pain for a while.  I have always been bad with physical pain.
Do any of you have medical conditions?  Do you take other pain medicine? Will I manage on Ibuproven alone I wonder?  I will have to.  I see my doctor on Tuesday to discuss this.
The last 24 hours have seemed endless.  Just as I feel relatively normal about an hour after taking my dose, the anxiety slowly starts to kick in, then the extreme lethargy and tiredness.  I haven't slept properly for days , no weeks.  I have sleep medicines but simply do not dare to take them in case I am setting up a new addiction.
I think what you say about the tapering SheLiz is appropriate for me too.  We are almost at the same stage right now- 3x50mg a day. It seems to be working out that 8 hours is too long so today I will take one at 7 hours and tomorrow increase this to 7 and a half hours and so on as you are doing.  See if I get a little less anxious.  
Maybe writing some of this will help me too like it did for you Jenn.  I have felt so fogged up - I've become really lazy minded.  Sorting through the feelings of the withdrawal and getting them out could be helpful. I am so tired, sad, disconnected and even unable to pick up my phone. I don't really know anyone who would understand this.  Out there - people think I am a fairly together sort of person, strong.  I am so not.  Self pity is easy - but can't/mustn't go there.  I like the attitude of anger to the pills - so have to become a warrior on this.
Thank you all so much--will come back.  
  

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by SheLiz, Nov 13, 2010
Hi all,

        LizzieLang - i'm happy to be able to give something back as just reading your post and everyone else's is giving me a huge sense of not being alone in this.  The tapering has worked well for me so far but it is starting to get to a point where the gaps are getting a bit more less user friendly.  I'm happy to set the alarm to take my 50mg to keep the pattern regular but I'd really hate that alarm to go off right in the middle of the only 2 hours sleep i'm going to get that day :-).  I haven't done this before but I'm just guessing that (for me) anyway the slow taper is less violent on the body and soul.  However, I am gettting a bit impatient now and want to see if I can jump to 50mg every 12hrs = 2 a day (I'm at 9hrs today) which would eliminate the need to wake myself up in the middle of the night to take one but then again that wouldn't be a real problem as I would most likely be awake anyway ha ha.

        I can't remember where I saw it but it was somewhere on an official medical website where they said that Tramadol withdrawal symptoms would kick in somewhere within 12-20 hours after taking the last dose.  How do they get this info???   They obviously haven't spoken to any of us.  Wouldn't it be nice to take on every 15hrs of so and have no withdrawal symptons at all :-)

Jenn - I hope your day 44 is even better than 43

Looking forward to being ALIVE again - we're all heading in the right direction

xox

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by madtram, Nov 13, 2010
SheLiz & everyone, you are all headed in the right direction & will reach the point where tramadol is a distant nightmare.

The 12-20 hour calculation is based on the recorded half life of the drug but tramadol withdrawal tends to be non linear because the metabolites are stored in fat cells & are not released at consistent rates.

WIth tapering some have found that reducing the dose by smaller increments, (say 25 mg) is gentler on the body as you can maintain a steady state throughout the day rather than hanging out for the next full dose.

Sleep can be one of the last symptoms to recover.  I ended up on Lunesta, (like ambien), while I was still on tramadol due to being in constant withdrawal from maintaining my dose at under 200 mgs for years.  Withdrawing from both drugs together made the withdrawals much worse.

  There is medical evidence that tramadol & benzo type drugs cross react so that withdrawal from one may trigger withdrawal reactions from the other even though you have not changed your dose.  Based on my experience, I would recommend sticking to antihistamine type meds, (Nyquil etc) as they don't have the withdrawal syndromes of the prescription sleep meds.

Tramadol seems to increase sensitivity to pain in many people after medium to long term use.  Some have flare ups during withdrawal but it's common for people to report that their pain is actually manageable once withdrawals are over.  I still have some pain but even at its worst it's more bearable than the crazy fun house of mirrors that tramadol became.  I will take  some pain over the dread I faced every morning not knowing if tramadol was going to turn me into a non functioning invalid again.  Please know that I am not dismissing anyone's experience of pain, I am sure some pain is simply unbearable, unfortunately I don't think that opiates are the answer as they all have tolerance issues.

I get some relief from Celebrex and the amino acid d-phenylalanine plus regular exercise.

Remember to be kind to yourselves, this is a major project you are taking on and it's such a worthwhile investment.

Hugs all round

M

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by lizzielang, Nov 14, 2010
Hello everyone especially SheLiz and Madtram
Again I have to say thank you for your thoughts, ideas, experiences--- it is SO helpful and encouraging.  The last 24 hours have been the least crazy since I began my taper.  I think it is thanks to being very punctual with the dosage 3x day as you have been doing SheLiz.  I widened the gap very slightly as I think I'd dropped from 6 to 3 too quickly.  Yesterday I did 7 hour intervals - and yes I did have to wake to take a dose but I'm glad I did as this morning I feel sane and actually slept for a full four hours.  This then helped me to meditate which is incredibly helpful too- but if you are a zombie from lack of sleep - it becomes impossible to maintain any stillness. My insides around the solar plexus don't feel so jumpy so far today. I feel a huge wave of emotional optimism that yes, maybe I can do this after all - and life will be alright. It's all thanks to you lot on this site.  All my life I've pretended to be the big strong loner- and yet this site makes me crumple up with pain, joy and tears, when I read other stories so like mine.  I am so foolish not to have shared before now.
Today I intend to make the gaps 7 and half hours and tomorrow 8 hours.  As for pain - it has begun to return but I am just accepting it - and trying to dismiss it.  I will not take any other medicine until I have finished with the evil Tramadol. apart from diclofenac.
I like everything you say madtram - and when I get down to 2 a day may take it extra slowly-- I don't mind being the tortoise now-- I've failed at so much from the 'hare' attitude (big shot)
I pray today goes gently- I have books and gentle things to do.  I can feel some support around me coming from somewhere ...it is such a good feeling.
Don't worry SheLiz - you have put me on to an ordered taper- you can do it. Just listening to your daily stuff makes me realize how close to the end you are.  When you say the gaps are not so easy - d'you mean you feel more more uncomfortable--just be careful not to decrease too quickly. Perhaps ignore the sleep one and take it just as you wake?  It puts the dosage out of sinc but maybe sleep is more important.  Let me know what you decide - I need to watch your incredible progress closely - it helps me so much.
Am thinking of all of you out there in 'battle' with Tramadol-  surely our shared strength will prevail.
Lizzie

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by SheLiz, Nov 14, 2010
Hi again

            Great to see you are having a good patch and I hope its a long one.  Waking up sane is such a good thing and a solid 4 hours sleep is a luxury these days.  I jokingly said to my mum the other day that I might as well have another baby seeing as I am awake throughout the night anyway - I try to find the humour in everything :-)  It's not really a possibility tho as I'm coming up for 50 and had a hysterectomy last year so I am very safe in making a joke about it ;-)  

            I have kept busy today as the anxiety level and restless shoulder/arms were pretty horrible but emotionally I'm pretty good.  I had a tram at 8am then my next one at 5pm so it's a 9hr gap today.  That would make the next one 2am which I will probably try to ignore and just take the next one when I do wake up as long as it is after 2am.  I agree with you there Lizzie.  It's coming up for 9pm here and I'm ready for bed - I took a zyprexa earlier (haven't taken one for a few days) as I know from the level of anxiety today that it will just speed up as soon as I go to bed and I really want some sleep tonight - got stuff to achieve tomorrow and need to do a fair bit of driving so need a bit of focus.  

        LizzieLang: re the gaps not being easy - now that the gaps are getting longer the last couple of hours before the next tram are getting worse with more anxiety, tummy cramps, shakiness and general body discomfort.

          PLan for tomorrow is one 50mg tram with breakfast then 9.5 hrs after that.  I'm going to my doctor in the morning and will see what I can do now that I have come down as low as I can get.  I see quite a lot of you mention taking 1/2s and 1/4 tabs but the ones we have here in Aust are capsules and the lowest is 50mg.  There is a slow release tablet but the lowest that comes in is 150mg.  I would love to be able to go down to a 25mg dose but can't see how I could do it.

         Any ideas?

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by lizzielang, Nov 14, 2010
SheLiz - hello again.  Just briefly - my prescription is capsules too- nothing lower than 50mg.  I already open them up and put the powder in water and drink it as I am a vegetarian and the capsule shell is made with gelatin from animals.  I have been thinking of doing the 'apothocary' bit and separating the powder into two lots making 25mg.  It would be the only way to decrease. You put the powder in a small amount of water, drink it quickly, it is bitter - then rinse the glass again and drink it in case of residue.  I do this several times to get every last speck of powder!   We would have to carefully store the unused half of powder for the next dose.  What a palaver, but worth it if it makes the final days softer.
Shall wait and see how I cope when I get to the 1x50mg a day.  If it's too uncomfortable- I may do 1 and a half for a few days.  It is so interesting that you are just ahead of me.  How long have you been tapering I wonder?  I pray you are sleeping SheLiz- I know how crazy all this lack of sleep is- you feel totally spaced out and out of touch with the world.  So sleep sleep sleep this night for you. Will be in touch again soon
Greetings and good wishes to everyone
Lizzie

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by SheLiz, Nov 15, 2010
Hi Lizzie and everyone

              Thanks for sending the sleep vibe over.  It's 5 am but I did get a solid 5 hrs from 10.30 till 3..30 so that's pretty good.  I might even try for another one in a bit.  

              It's funny I had never given much thought to what the capsule shells were made of and just assumed that they were made of some disolvable 'stuff'.  You learn something new everyday :-)  I think I will give the 25mg a go soon as I'm starting to think that 25mg 4 times a day would be better than 50mg twice a day at this stage as it is hard to keep the dose 'even' when I am taking a 50mg every 10 hrs which is what I am up to today.  My routine yesterday was meant to be 50mg every 9.5hrs but I 'accidentally' had to go 11.5hrs as I went out the back door of my new apartment yesterday (just as my next dose was due ) to put some rubbish out and the door locked behind me.  So, there I was with nothing - no phone, no money, no keys and no tramadol.  My parents have a spare key so I had to jump on a tram and travel for half an hour, pick up the key, have a quick snack as I was starving then head back home again.  That all took 2 hrs so my tram was a bit overdue by the time I got to it.  It was quite a jittery journey but I made it.

             I've got my physio again today so that will keep me occupied for a while.  Anyway, the plan today is 10hr gaps but I might make my next one 25mg and make it 5hr gaps.  Will keep you updated on how that goes.  I'm feeling pretty agitated most of the time at the moment but I can deal with that.  

             Re:  how long I have been tapering - I really can't remember but I know I was tapering/cutting down (but not in a really structured way) about 2 months ago. I have only really had the structured taper since coming onto this website.

             I went to my GP this morning and told them about this support group and they were impressed.  After all of this time with them only prescribing 20 tablets at a time with no Rx repeats yesterday they prescribed repeats (I'm hoping not to need them all).  

Thanks everyone and I hope you are all feeling better everyday



            

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by lizzielang, Nov 16, 2010

Thanks for all the info SheLiz-- and hello to everyone. Good to hear you got 5 hours sleep SheLiz

My plan today is to do one 50mg 10 hourly.  Will do this for at least two days and see how I feel.  I too, am now getting impatient to stop- but scared of the anxiety increasing. If I find myself more agitated - I'll consider the splitting into 25mg like you SheLiz-but hope not to need to do this. I am finding I do sleep for 4 hours these last two days which is good.  I would like to think I will be down to 1x day by next week and off completely by the following week or even before.  Then I can go into the real counting the days like Emily et al. Wonderful.  The pain in my bones and muscles is not too bad so far.  I have taken diclofenac and Ibuprofen for this- but see my GP tonight to discuss best non addictive pain killer.

I feel short tempered and impatient and often suddenly tearful.  My emotions seem nearer the surface.  Don't know what to do with myself - the hours seem slower.Yet I have no concentration.
  
Thanks for listening and writing everyone-- I hope you are all on track and beginning to see an end to the trammy nightmare.
Lizzy

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by SheLiz, Nov 16, 2010
Good morning everyone

               Lizzie - I can feel you hot on my heels and we are both racing towards the finsh line.  I had a brilliant session with my physio yesterday - I really came out feeling physically different and emotionally optimistic.  Also I had 8 HOURS SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!  last night.  I work up some time in the middle to go to the loo but didn't even notice the time and went back to sleep almost immediately.  It's been months since I've had that and it was without zyprexa or seroquel.  I don't care if I can't sleep for the rest of the week, it was just so good to wake up at 7.30 this morning (with the alarm) and feel like I had really slept.  
              I'm on 11hr gaps today and might start doing the 25mg doses this afternoon coz I've already taken the 50mg this morning.  
              Lizzie - My concentration level is also horrible so I have 3 different talking books on the go.  I'm listening to Amy Tan in the car and Paul Theroux and Patricia Cornwell in the house.  Its nice to be read to and I find it easier to follow the story listening rather than reading it myself at the moment.

             Physically I'm still feeling agitated but the restless legs and arms/shoulders are very mild at the moment that they are not really distracting at all.  I am glad that I live along as I think I would be a bit snappy if there were others in my space at the moment.  That's another reason why the talking books are good, I've got 'company' but they don't have to put up with me.

             All the best to everyone.

SheLiz

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by madtram, Nov 16, 2010
Lizzie & SheLiz, you two are doing great.  SheL, can't believe you had to cope with being locked out just before your dose was due, you definitely have the right stuff to beat this a-hole drug.

If you do need to split the 50mgs, another way to do it is to recapsule into empty caps from the pharmacy or health food store.  It's not entirely precise but you can get a visual line of sight on what half or quarter of a cap looks like.  I did a very rapid taper from 200mg, (over 3 days), after 6 years use but I can't recommend that whereas another member around the same time took months to come off the same dose & she reported relatively minimal side effects.

Lizzie, I have found kava, high dose inositol, (6 grams 2x per day) & valerian very helpful with the anxiety.

I am just about to start the new Cornwell audiobook, didn't really enjoy her last few but this one looks more promising.

Go girls.

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by lizzielang, Nov 17, 2010

Hello everyone
Fell with a crash yesterday.  I was doing the 10 hourly dose.  Around the 7 hour mark I just flipped, plunged into a black hole, anxious, palpitations, sweating.  I think I came down from 3 to 2 too quickly.  I had to take a dose out of sinc.  I hardly slept and felt horrible after being so positive about the end in sight.  More and more I realise that this brutal drug has wreaked havoc to my nervous system.  It is not bigger than me though.  Just have to slow it down a little. Today I have had 50mg at 7am,  --I intend to have 50mg in eight or nine hours at  3pm, then a 25mg dose at 10pm.  That's 2 and a half.  May keep to this dose to even out for two or three days.  Then maybe drop to 4x25mg at 6 hour intervals and stay on that for 3 days before dropping to 3x25mg a day.   We are all different.  I have to let you leap ahead SheLiz.  You are doing so well.  I hope today is good for you too.
Thanks so much for the advice madtram-- it's all on my shopping list.  All and any tips to get through this time are SO helpful - heart-warming and very welcome....Thanks again.  I cannot believe you did such a rapid tapor madram- I must look back to see how it was for you.  If I thought I could lock my door and get through three horrible days - I'd have a go at it, as this way is painfully slow.  You just don't feel well anyway-whatever - however slowly you are reducing.  In my mind I am taking layers off my true self with each reduction.  I want to see and know my true self - I want clarity back- it is what is driving me to get this Tramadol stuff out of my life
Going back over old posts to see how other folks have reduced and over what time period.  Can't seem to find Emily's original posts---I believe she did it very slowly.
Please keep posting -it helps me so much. I know we will get there......

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by ImDONENoMore, Nov 17, 2010
Hi Lizzie,

Madtram is right - you are doing great!  I know its discouraging when you're trying so hard and have to deal with the unexpected moments (crashes) and feel the need for more just to stabilize.  Only you know your body and you are doing exactly what you need to do to continue this journey.  Hang on it will get better.

I too believe the tram wreaks havoc with our CNS.  I am still experiencing symptoms.  My husband and I went away for a weekend to celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary and on the way I started to feel like I was coming down with the flu.  I felt sick, but not the usual feeling that comes with the flu because I could still basically function and by the time we headed back (it was only a weekend trip) I was feeling ok again.  So I know it wasn't the flu just lingering symptoms.  Even my GI issues are still with me every now and again.  What an evil, horrible drug!!!  To still be with us months out is very disturbing.  But please don't misunderstand, it gets MUCH easier, but there are still little reminders of what that horrible stuff did to us.  And I went cold turkey from both Xanax and Tramadol back in the end of July.  I think I'm at around 110+ days. (?)

But the way I see it the problem didn't happen overnight.  I was taking this stuff for a very long time (6 years on the Tram and 12 years on the Xanax!  ugh who was I??) so I know it's going to take a long time to get better.  I trust that my body will continue to heal as I move forward.  And I maintain hope.  Hope - that was one of the FIRST feelings I got back after I quit taking all this garbage.

So hang on and keep going!!  You are obviously a very strong woman and you can do anything!!  And I too followed all of the tips given here for the recovery process.  I still take the SAM-e, fish oil, St. Johns Wort and b vitamins.  I truly believed they helped me and are still helping me.  It is so comforting to come here for additional support.  Madtram may not know this - but her advice and talking about her experiences was a g-dsend for me.  She had a great way of putting things into perspective to help us understand what was happening to our mind, and our bodies during this time.  She is a very strong and intelligent woman (as are you, JennyP99 and Emily (of course!) and all the other strong and courageous woman here) and they all chose to be here to help others.  I so needed to hear about their experiences to help me identify what was happening to me.  Knowledge is power.

Keep doing it - it will get better you'll see!!!  :-)

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by angelmoon, Nov 17, 2010
Hello everyone.  I have been following the progress of you new warriors.  I just wanted to add that when I was tapering I felt terrible and just terrible enough to jump off after 5 days of tapering down to 25mg per day.  I was so mad about how I was feeling I just had kind of a BRING IT ON attitude with the pills when I stopped.  Im sure that is not for everyone but there was definitely a new kind of healthiness amidst brutal withdrawals even in the first 3-6 days (which were the worst for me).  Getting angry and looking at it as a fight helped.  I was so fatigued and so sad and thought about giving up on day 38. I am 3 1/2 months out and am so grateful to be done. There is no wrong way to stop taking this poison.  It is such a liar. You think you will never feel normal again.  It is not a normal fatigue and depression....so attached to the withdrawals. I was SO scared to jump off.  Being diligent with the supplements and taking 150mg of wellbutrin daily has helped me.  I feel I am so much healthier in general now because I was forced into shoring my mental and physical self up to win the assault.  I started to have good spells in the midst of dark days and a clarity of thinking that I had missed.  Soon, the good moments were starting to link together. Distracting myself with mindless tasks helped...also laying in a dark room sometimes helped.  Forcing a walk in the morning after coffee made a difference.  I had to force myself though and for a few days I shut down not even drinking enough water.  Real raw emotion...like nothing I have ever experienced. I did take stuff to help me sleep for a break in the battle. I just want to encourage you to not give up.  Keep heading into the wind. God will give you the strenth to get through and your body and soul are wise and will not let you down.  Hang in there.  A really good day is just around the corner. Much love, prayers and strength.

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by SheLiz, Nov 18, 2010
Hi Everyone

                   I was just coming home after being away at my parents' overnight to write and ask what the taperers did getting towards the end and I see the brilliant suggestion from madtram about getting some empty capsules to split the half doses into.  So, that kinda answers my question already and I'll be out doing that tomorrow.  
                  I'm now at one 50mg every 12 hrs and will just hang in here for a few days just to stabilise.  Then I'll go to 25mg every 8hrs I think.  I am starting to get impatient and would love this to be over asap but the slower the better seems to be working for me as all the WD symptoms are still there but on a much milder scale to what they were when I was trying to go from 100mg every 4 hrs to nothing.  
                  A very short sleep last night and I've been up since 3am but still overjoyed about the good sleep the night before that so I can't complain.  
                  Lizzie - I've just been moving by about 1/2 an hour a day to make it as slow as possible.  I feel like I have been 'sabotaged' in a way over the last few days as every time I am due to take my next tram something happens to drag it out a bit longer than planned. Today it dragged out to 13 hours and I have worked out that that was definitely 2 hours too long as I was extremely flu-y and agitated in the last couple of hours.  So, tomorrow will be definitely sticking to 12hrs max (but definitely no less than 11 no matter what).  Just take it as slow as you need to and be gentle on yourself, you're not the bad guy here.

Thanks everyone
Sheena - is off to bed for a better night than last night :-)


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by lizzielang, Nov 18, 2010
Oh dear--it is overwhelming the support I feel.  This is a wonderful site- a wonderful place to visit where human beings seem to be at their best.  You are all giving --you may well be on your road and free from fear and addiction but you are all still giving out.  It is so impressive and warming---making me really believe it can be good to be alive.  This seems to be the key to the damage Tramadol wreaks.  It takes your hope, your energy, your centre--and just leaves you apathetic and grovelling. A bad bad drug.
Update. On 25mg every 5 hours- which hopefully means 2x50mg a day.  I wont wake myself if I miss through sleep. Angelmoon -you have sent strength-I feel it.  I really want to take the plunge now but yes - I'm scared.  I'll see if I can get to one 50mg a day by the weekend and then just do it next week.  I feel empty most of the time- (craving!) -it's not a good feeling.  I have to believe this is going to go once I plunge and stop.  I can't imagine being totally drug./drink/ tobacco free and relaxed and calm. Is it possible?  First time since my teenage years and that is a long long time ago.
I have masses of supplement now and intend to add the kava and inositol you mentioned madtram.  All you posts are inspiring, especially ImDONEnomore  thank you very much.  To have done 110 days and be still checking in is wonderful.  I think the encouragment from success stories however long or short or dark or harrowing is simply the best medicine for those like me who are struggling.  I guess it's a form of AA.  If the oldies didn't show up at meetings to advise, share and encourage, it probably wouldn't work.  Here though - I guess it's even better because we all seem to be able to open our hearts and be so truly honest.  The site is very anonymous and allows that freedom.  What a wonderful person Emily must be- if it all stemmed from her.
SheLiz - how are you doing?  Looking forward to your next post---you've helped me so much.
My love and thoughts go out to all of you- but especially those still trapped by tramadol. I'ts so good to know we are not alone.  God will protect and guide us through all these wonderful people.
Lizzy

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by lizzielang, Nov 18, 2010
Just a quick add on for SheLiz - posted mine before seeing yours -didn't refresh page. So glad to hear your news - all good --Yes we are doing fine.  I found I couldn't do the 12 hours so I've split the dose (by hand) into four 25mg. So far so good-but this day will be the test.
More later - sleep well Sheena

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by muchforgiven, Nov 18, 2010
Dear Friends,
I am reading your posts and I applaud your perserverance. For me, I got off track about 2 weeks ago when I took an extra tram and have not been able to get back to my taper. I have a million excuses for this (want to hear any/). I am writing in the hopes of receiving some encouragement to get off these life robbing pills. I tell myself it makes me feel good to take 4 50 mg. a day, so why not take them? I know I am lying to myself. I need to get the anger and the resolve going again. Any encouragement you can give would be greatly appreciated. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!

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by angelmoon, Nov 18, 2010
Muchforgiven..praying for you...you are among such kindred spirits...no excuses needed here.  You will do this.  Just start the process again.  Prepare for the storms of withdrawal.  They pass.  I promise you will feel such joy and peace again. Your body chemistry and soul health are remarkable and will rise to help you pretty quickly as you get off this poison.   It is a sure thing.  Don't beat yourself up...be a friend. Being gentle and loving to myself as I would a suffering friend (that was new behaviour for me) really was key. I've grown in this area in a way that has profoundly changed my life- The only gratefulness I can find about this experience.  The hold this drug takes on you is brutal.  It is not your fault.  Just start again.  We are here for you. Much love prayer and strength

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by muchforgiven, Nov 18, 2010
Thank You Angelmoon for your kind words. They really do feel like a beacon of hope in this tunnel that I am in. It is so amazing to me how insidious the change is that takes place on these pills. First, feeling good, so much better than I had in a long time. No pain and good spirits. Not too long after this, I started losing weight and had the sweats and felt weak and sick a lot. I went to the doctor, I thought I had the flu. He told me I must have picked up a bug. Then that passed and I settled into this world of counting pills to make sure I would have enough. I have never felt that good since the beginning but somehow we don't see ourselves as we really are. I know I am not myself, I stay very busy, I don't like to be alone, and worst of all, I can't tell anyone about the hell I am going through. Sound familiar to anyone?
I am so grateful to this site and for all of your honest sharing. I know I will beat this.

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by gunitbot6, Nov 18, 2010
much forgiving, don't give up, when your free of all this you will feel good , you will laugh and smile more and feel the emotion,
your mind will be clearer, you memory will be better, you will save money. Your concentration will be better. and you wont have to rely on the pills to make you feel good.  Tramadol is bad for your heart and will probably lessen your life span it is also bad for your stomach like any other pain pills. Get your self things that can help with withdrawals once you finish tapering, things such as vitamins, green tea, imodium if needed also some cold syrups will help with anxiety.  you can find all that information on previous posts here.

Good luck and stay focused.                      

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by lizzielang, Nov 19, 2010
muchforgiven - I understand what you are going through.  The day will come when you'll be free of these pills.  I have to believe this myself.  
Today has not been so good so far.  I woke in the night with terrible back pain, sweats and fear.  I'm down to 2 and a half a day, but was not due one till later.  I had to take one full capsule as I was going mad and could barely walk.  That was at 3am.  The next one I took at 11am was also a full capsule (50mg) as I had to get to my doctors appointment.  There, I poured my heart out and told him about my taper and how unreliable it was, and the agonies I was going through.  To keep to the taper I have to take only one half (25mg) before midnight.  I found myself so distressed with my doctor.  He indicated that I was tapering too quickly and had to keep a comfort level.  He suggested 3x50mg one day and two and half the next, then 3 the following, then 2 and a half and so on till there was no real panic, and then, to drop to two and a half for a while every day.  Then two and a half alternating with two for a few days before going to just two.  He said it may take me more weeks but it would not be so hard. That then, I could function more normally each day.  For the pain he has put me on  600mg of Ibuprofen which a can take with the trams.  As he was not the original prescribing doctor - I cannot be difficult with him..He is a good doctor and wants to see me free of this drug.  He has warned me however that it may take longer than most because of other health considerations.
I try to hand my will and life over to God in my daily meditation, but I can weaken and feel despair when the withdrawal kicks in.  This is a huge test of Faith and of self belief -- a long road I suspect.. I want to grasp the nettle as the say and take the journey anyway - it has to make me stronger and eventually will bring me the freedom I have heard people describe on these pages.   One of the worst things about my life just now is the fatigue - the heaviness - the poor motivation to do anything, I really hate it about myself.
So- muchforgiven -take heart - you will surely catch me up it you begin your taper soon.  Just join SheLiz and others like me and we will all try to support each other.Madtram, Gunitbot, Angelmoon, Beethwillprvail, jennyP9 and ImDomenomore are all routing for us--it's mindbogling.  The human is beautiful and capable of anything.  These are all HEART people.  Are we not lucky
Gunibot6 is so right about giving yourself those extras that may help.  I've started the green tea thing --it's good.   I love how she.he? shays your memory will be better -you'll feel emotion and the mind is clearer-- these are all carrots for me.
Today (not over yet) has not been the best, but, still only had two 50mg. It's 2.30 pm here - maybe I can hold out some hours yet and manage to just have 25mg before bed.  Here's hoping.
Love and strength to all of you out there who read or write - it means so much
Lizzy

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by SheLiz, Nov 19, 2010
Hi Everyone

                 Just thought I'd wake up for my midnight chat with you all - not voluntarily, of course.  I'm awake again after 1 1/2 hours of sleep.  Tired but too uncomfortable to sleep.  I am grateful though that most of my discomfort at the moment is physical as that is so much easier to deal with that the emotional/head stuff.  I had a couple of dark weeks earlier but that was before I'd started the 'structured' taper.  I'm now down to 50mg every 12hrs and going to stick with that for a few days as I feel like it's time to stabilise a bit before cutting it down further.  I went to the pharmacy yesterday to buy some empty capsules (so I could make my 50s into 25s) but when I found out I could only buy them by the 100s at $38 per bottle I decided that there must be a better way (cheapskate me :-).  Once I get down to 25mg I don't plan to use that many so I thought a bit of honey might do the trick and be a lot cheaper as well.

                I so value being able to get on here and ramble in the middle of the night when things are at their worst.  I probably repeat myself a bit but I'm always aware that there might just be some-one new finding the journal who might be able to relate to something just as I was able to relate to at least one thing in every post I read when I first found the site.  

               Anyway, after having two good sleeps last week (without the use of any of the meds I've been prescribed to help me sleep) I have renewed inspiration and hope that I will be 'normal' again one day soon.  

Looking forward to normal :-)

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by SheLiz, Nov 19, 2010
Hi Lizzie

             Hi Lizzie - Your post popped up about the same time as I posted.   Sorry to hear you're having a bad day.  Re your comments: "One of the worst things about my life just now is the fatigue - the heaviness - the poor motivation to do anything, I really hate it about myself". ......   Please don't hate yourself, it's not you that's doing this it's the stupid tramal.  You're the victim and not to be blamed in any way.  Treat yourself with understanding and kindness right now coz we need lots of that to get through this.  After about 2 months of the horrible, evil heaviness and having to totally FORCE myself to do even the smallest task I am now feeling lighter and more motivated.  I thought that feeling would never end and that I would be like that forever but it has gone.  So, if I get it again, which I am half expecting as it's not over yet, I hope to try to remember that it does go away.  If I do get it again can someone please remind me what I said here. Thanks is advance :-)

          I hope the ibuprofen works for you and good that you were able to vent to your doctor.  I miss my old doctors having moved house recently as they had known me for 10 years and were lovely.  Now I feel more self conscious with the new ones but they are supportive so far.

         I hope you are able to get somem sleep tonight and have a great day tomorrow

SheLiz
            

    

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by JennyP99, Nov 19, 2010
Here I am on day 50... and having some serious issues.  I was doing SO well...then something happened to me 3 days ago, I started having severe panic attacks, I felt like I couldn't breathe was completely afraid that I was going to die.  I feel like I'm out of my freakin mind.  Yesterday I could barely even function, and then my heart started abnormally racing.  I was so freaked out...thought for sure that I was going to die.  I ended up going to the doctor even though I don't have insurance, my blood pressure was up and my heart rate was fast.  So they prescribed me this beta blocker med and some low dose xanax.  I woke up this morning and couldn't stop crying...i feel completely insane.  So I called my doctor and told her how I can't deal with crying like this...and she wanted to send me for blood work, but I don't have insurance so don't want to go.  I get insurance on Dec. 1...so I just want to hold out until then.  She told me to stop taking the beta blocker and started me on low dose Zoloft. Has anyone on here had experiences with panic and depression this long after discontinuing tramadol?  I'm really hoping that the zoloft (anti-depressant) works for me...has anyone tried this drug that suffers with anxiety or depression?  I feel like such a disaster and am hoping that there isn't anything more serious wrong with me...it's proabably all just in my head.  Here I thought I was making strides and regaining my life, only to have this awfulness happen to me... I have no idea what is going on.  :(



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by lizzielang, Nov 19, 2010
Jenn-  I'm so sorry to hear all this.  You poor poor girl - how frightening.   I cannot help, as you know I am still tapering. But - I did have panic attacks and they are the most scary experience.  How I feel for you.
I just wish you could have got the blood work done.  I know nothing about Zoloft, but know I would not want to try any anti depressant after the craziness of Tramadol.  However I guess your doctor knows best.  I think it would be better to be on xanax  in case this is just a blip.  I hope one of the oldies get in touch with you.  Could just be a late reaction from the tram.  
Read you November 10th entry Jenn - so full of love and hope and wisdom.  You are that same person.    What does your lovely husband think-- he is your best friend.
I am thinking of you and praying this all passes very very quickly.  Remember you have been such an inspiration to me - and to others-- reading your story convinced me to taper and try communicating my worries on this site. Your story is so full of courage -- that courage hasn't left you--it is still there.


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by JennyP99, Nov 19, 2010
Lizzie - Thank you so much for posting! I've been on and off anti-depressants for many years before I found my way into the dark world of pain killers.  I think maybe my tendency for depression made me a good candidate for pain killer addiction to begin with *sigh*. I've been living in extreme fear the past 3 days...and couldn't possibly go on like that.  The xanax wasn't even helping much.  I took my first dose of Zoloft around 11:30am and now it's almost 3.  They said that you don't notice anything for about a week or 2 after taking it, but I think that I'm noticing something now.  I started feeling a little better actually...but now I'm feeling a little jittery.  They said that I can still take a xanax if I need it but I'd rather not get started on that, because what I hear, xanax can be addicting too.  I feel very scared that I'm going to have that heart thing happen again, but trying not to think about it.  I don't feel well...i think that maybe after tramadol withdrawal, I fell into a depression and it escalated into this disaster?  I don't think that my husband understands this craziness I'm going through right now... the severity of what a bad place I'm in.  I know he cares about me so much... but he's frustrated because we have a lot going on in our lives right now and I really need to get better.  I think I might feel another panic attack coming on...i am so scared of how i feel right now.  Take care, and I'll post soon.

Jenn  

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by ImDONENoMore, Nov 19, 2010
Hi JennyP99,

Plese don't despair!!!  BELIEVE ME, everything you're feeling now is normal - VERY normal.  I too had the heart palpitations, the unbelievable anxiety that just came out of nowhere.  And I too felt like I was going crazy.  It's definitely the withdrawal, more likely P.A.W.S. (post acute withdrawal syndrome).  And it is scary, but please know it will pass.  I promise you that.  It passed for me and it will pass for you.

And you're right about being careful with the Xanax - it is extremely addictive, but has its purpose with short-term use.  Just the fact that you're aware of its potential addictive quality is enough that you won't get hooked as long as you only use it only when absolutely necessary and for a very short time.  The anti-depressants do take some time to kick in as you were told by your Dr.  If you're feeling any benefit now, that may just be a placebo effect.  And I'm sure your Dr. told you that getting off the anti-depressant, when you're ready, will be a bit of an adjustment as well.  But we're old pro's now at withdrawal aren't we?  So you will be okay.

Take it one day (hour, minute) at a time.  Meditating helps me, and the effects from that are long lasting.  Not sure if you're doing that already, but it might be worth a shot.  Find a nice quiet room, light a candle and you can find all kinds of relaxation music online that really helps.  I used to take ALOT of hot showers when I'd feel an attack come on and the hot water also soothed my nerves.  And valerian root can help too.  Just breathe and stay still.  The feeling will pass.  I used to get them quite a bit in the first couple of months of withdrawal and now I hardly ever feel that way.  And not anywhere near the extent that I used to.  Time is what it takes.  Funny - we live in such a "I want it now!" kind of society and patience, it seems, is no longer a virtue.  But it will be your best friend during these times, as I'm sure you know.

Hang on - you're getting closer and closer to a panic free life.  It will happen when you're not even looking - the serenity kind of sneaks up on you.  But once it's there, it's there.  And even though life does have its ups and downs, you will be amazed at how differently you will handle any stressful issues.  It's mind-boggling how different I am now when handling anything difficult.  Really amazing.  Strange to be so different, but amazing nonetheless.

You have a lot of people who are here for you and we're all rooting for you.  You can do it remember that!!!

P.S.  I can relate to the husband situation.  Mine too - he's so wonderful, but I think he also gets frustrated.  Men are like that - they just want to be able to "fix" the problem (kind of like a car??)  But they love us and we just have to accept that we handle things differently.  When you're completely better, you'll be able to share more with him on just how difficult this whole process is.  Just let him love you and look for nothing more.  It will all be good eventually.

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by madtram, Nov 20, 2010
JennyP, that must have been a nasty shock when you thought you were in the clear.  ImDone is right though, it takes time for your neurotransmitters to stabilise and factors like stress & hormones can cause flareups.  It sounds as though you have a predisposition to some neurotransmitter imbalance if you have been on antidepressants for a while so the tramadol experience would be an additional shock to your system.

Zoloft is a fairly benign antidepressant, (certainly compared with tramadol), so I wouldn't be too concerned about it, just give it a trial to see if it suits you.  I can't say that I am a fan of benzos, even tiny amounts for very short periods have caused withdrawal symptoms for me but many do find them fine for a short course.  Otherwise you could try valerian or kava which are much milder.   If you can manage try ImDone's excellent advice about meditation, it's very effective over time & guaranteed side effect free.

Lizzy when I found Emily, I & my doctors thought I had chronic fatigue.  The only fortunate thing about the tramadol years was that I never increased my dose but this meant that I was in constant withdrawal manifested by insomnia; ridiculously low blood pressure & periods when I couldn't get out of bed. I read what Emily had endured & pushed herself to do to keep her business going & in one of my early posts described myself as a weak willed whimp.  I worried endlessly that I would never recover my previous type A tending levels of motivation.  Nearly all of us have gone through this, recovery is not linear, (just another little mind frick this drug does on you), but for sure you will get completely better.  I know it's so hard when you want that for yourself right now but I don't think that you can pressure yourself into speeding up the process.  

It just makes sense that a slow taper is best.  I quit suddenly because I was so shocked then angry to find out that it was this stupid little pill that had been making me unwell for so long & I just couldn't bear to ingest another molecule but so long as you are not ever increasing your dose, you are heading in the right direction & will hopefully suffer less.

Hugs all round,
M

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by muchforgiven, Nov 20, 2010
Dear Lizzie,,
I am so sorry to hear of your distress. I certainly can relate. I think I am going to try the taper you cited, 3 one day, 2 1/2 the next until relatively stable and then 2 1/2 - 2 for a while. This sounds very reasonable to me. Let's encourage each other. I am starting today on 3 50 mg and 2 1/2 tomorrow. I pray I can do this. As I posted earlier, I am scared to death of the withdrawal symptoms, mostly becaus 10 yrs. ago I was withdrawn cold turkey from Oxycontin, Dilaudid and Ativan all at once. It was not by choice. I thougt I would die or be in pain the rest of my life. I remember saying to myself over and over, God Will Make A Way Where There Is No Way. I did make it through and my faith grew. I am so angry I got caught in this addiction spiral again but I know we will make it through. I will post my progress and hope to hear how you are doing. Much love and prayers! Thanks to all the warriors on this site.

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by SheLiz, Nov 20, 2010
Hi All,

          After a bit of an Ok few days yesterday saw the return of the horrible heaviness, extreme fatigue and feeling like I've been smashed all over my a huge hammer.  I had about 3 hrs sleep night before last and spent yesterday keeping as busy as my dead body would allow me to so that I would sleep tonight but I'm awake again after only 3hrs and it's only 1am so a long night ahead if I don't get any more.  I've just taken an Olanzapine (Zyprexa) which I am taking once or twice a week at the moment but only when desperate.  I am sticking to 50mg of tram every 12hrs now and no way will I take it any more often just to feel temporarily better.  As Madtram said earlier I hate every molecule I have to take but still want to stick to the slow and 'easy' taper.

         I'm off to get some water crackers and warm milk.  Good night everyone xox

SheLiz

        

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by lizzielang, Nov 20, 2010
Hello everyone-- I see all my favourites have posted.  
I've googled PAWS and never got much except doggy or moggy stuff!  Thanks so much for spelling it out in full ImDone.  I looked it up and read and read and read.  I see now---I get it.  I stopped smoking at the same time as I started tramadol and think I have experienced PAWS over these months.  Now I think about it - I think deep seated depression was probably kept at bay through alcohol, opiates, nicotine- then the devil tramadol.  All these chemicals - the effect on brain chemistry must be huge.  Who is normal I wonder. Or rather what is normal.All the stuff I read in the night (couldn't sleep much) has been very useful.  I have decided sugar has to go out of my diet-and probably it's best for me to have six little healthy meals rather than three.  Anything that will give my body a chance to recover -I want to know about it. Also I'm questioning underling health issues that have led to addiction or rather masked it in the first place.Maybe I have to go back to childhood and very early signs of depression.  This site has got me on such a mission to be well.  In between all the W/D issues and suffering- something important is happening.  I am (I think) coming out of a mental fog.  
The latest on my taper is two and a half one day, three the next.  Shall stick to this for at least three more days.  Am prepared now after my very horrible blips, to take the slow route.  Thank you so much Madtram for all you said in your last post.  It warms me -- and,  no I will not go backwards and increase-- I will just plod and plod.  I hate the stuff like you but know to stop suddenly now, would not work for me. Please please keep checking in -- you're a wise old owl and I'm sure I'm not the only one watching your words.
SheLiz - Hi--- hope you are sleeping right now.  As you are the closest in the taper to me - perhaps the two mark is especially bad for fatigue.  I have cancelled so much these last days, work, seeing family and friends etc.  I know it's the tram SheLiz but I still feel less than proud when I have to find excuses to get out of seeing my beloved children.  They simply would not understand if I attempted to explain.   I'm just about getting away with being unsocial as 1) I have been in India through October and they know I need to chill out, and 2) I am known to be a bit of a hermit.  However this particular isolation (the whole of November) has definitely been thrust on me.  Again - thank God I found this site - I am able to communicate truthfully here. So important.
Muchforgiven--I am entirely with you! Yes 3 one day,2 and half next and so on.   We will work at this side by side with SheLiz and get to that winning post one day.  I applaud you - don't think I would have lasted without the support of this site.  Think I may have caved in.  Good luck muchforgiven- we are warriors together.  My faith is growing and growing.  will look out for your next post.
love to all the warriors here, especially the ones who have time on their side but keep sharing and coming back for us.
....'and all shall be well - all manner of things shall be well.'


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by SheLiz, Nov 21, 2010
Hi LizzieLang, Muchforgiven, JennyP. Madtram, ImDONE, Gunitbot6 and anyone else out who's out there...

                 I hope you are all well and happy - It's 4am here in Melbourne :-(  I woke at 2am and have given up trying to get any more sleep.  I've hit another sleepless patch where I just can't seem to get more than 3 hours in any 24.  I had one great night of an almost unbroken 8hrs 6 days ago but it's been all down hill again since then.  I refuse to take yet more medication just to get a decent sleep every night and I am just hoping that.  I am taking one zyprexa one - two nights a week but that's as much as I want to take and even then it only allows me about 5 hours (which these days is a luxury :-)

                I know everyone is different but do we ever get to sleep normally again????   I have always wanted more hours in the day to get everything done and now I have an abundance of time but no energy to make good use of it.  I'm still on 50mg every 12hrs - 9am and 9pm and will keep that up for another few days.  

               I'm going to get some work done while I'm here and maybe even wash my hair - haven't felt up to doing that for a while.

Love to all
SheLiz


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by ImDONENoMore, Nov 21, 2010
Hi SheLiz,

I'm so sorry you're still having difficulty sleeping.  I hated that part of withdrawal - so frustrating!!  I would do like you and just get up.  Go into another room and read.  They say you shouldn't watch TV when you can't sleep since it's so stimulating, but during withdrawal, I don't think it matters much.  Anything is better than lying there "wishing" yourself to sleep but to no avail.

But to answer your question - yes your sleep will return to normal.  Everyone is different on when it will return, but it will return.  It took me about a month to get a regular sleep pattern again.  I even sleep differently now - making sure I go to sleep around the same time every night and getting up at the same time every day.  I guess our body needs to have a regular routine for us to fall back into healthy sleep patterns.  But don't get discouraged, soon you'll be sleeping normally again.

I found melatonin to be very helpful in the beginning.  It would at least get me to fall asleep and I'd average around 3-5 hours of straight sleep when taking it.  Hey, I was like you - I would take any sleep over nothing.  So it might be worth giving the melatonin a try.

Good luck - and try not to stress too much about it (I know, easier said than done!).  The more we stress about not sleeping, the more you don't sleep.  But be assured - your sleep is waiting for you just around the corner.  So hang in.

Hope everyone else is good - check back in soon.  :-)

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by EmilyPost, Nov 21, 2010
This thread is closed

Please move to part 39


http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/247512/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-Part-39

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