youngest back in jail again

I'm so sorry about your son. I know first hand how you feel and I'm here for you if you want to talk. It's a shame that we spend all of our time and energy into raising our children the correct way and then WHAMO, once they hit 18 they honestly think they know it all. As mother's there does come that day when we have to step back and let them be all grown up just like they think they are!
Thank you for the many prayers you've sent to me and now I'm sending them back to you.

Lisa

i hope that one day your son will realize, that just like everything else in life...that he HAS a choice to do something about his addiction.

been there done that...too many times to count.  i pray that you have continued strength to support his recovery and not his addiction.  i'm always here for support, if you need to talk :)

kim

"I know I sound like a cold hearted ***** of a mom but I can't do this anymore."

No you don't. You sound like a mother who has learned that tough love is sometimes the best lesson. Your child obvious needs some lessons in his life right now.

I applaud you for having the strength to hold your son responsible for his actions and not turning your head to abuse (the worst thing you can do).

My oldest son is the same way. You cant tell him anything. He knows it all. Its the whole worlds fault and not his... etc. etc.
He had a good childhood. We hit a big bump in the road just before moving to Fl. But, he has always been taken care of. loved, clothed, fed etc.
He was a very sick kid as well so, we spent many waking hours together. I thought we had a special bond. He was my first son and my only son for 13 years. But, that went b the wayside in his early 20's. It broke my heart. I thought i taught him better. He grew up in a home better than the one I had. He never had to deal with all the carp I had to deal with growing up... and yet, he has this attitude! This chip!
Go figure.
He's pretty much on his own now. I told him I don't want any more calls in the middle of the night from a hospital or police station. NO MORE!
He has always paid his dues to society.. be it, fines, time, volunteering... etc. He says... I am stupid and then does it again! Well, I have had enough. God gave him a brain. I gave him love and support. Now he needs to utilize this information!
Its hard I know. But, eventually you will be able to sleep through the night without wondering if you heard the phone or not.
Some people have to hit rock bottom before they can take an honest look at themselves.. and it seems like you and I have 2 hard heads!
It never gets easier... until you make it so.
You are doing the right thing. He has left you no choice.
If you keep helping him... it will just enable him more, then you would feel guilty over that! Its a visicious cycle and it has to stop for at least one of you.
If he chooses to hit bottom. He has to do it on his own.
Its one of the hardest things a parent can do for their children.
When he decides to get help... you will be there for him.
Move safely and quickly. TC you are in my prayers.

HELLO THERE STRANGER,HERE I AM AGAIN UP WITH INSOMNIA AGAIN, AND MAKING MY COFFEE ALREADY! U AWAKE TOO?

you sound lyk a great mum, once they get to that age it doesnt matter if theyve had the best up bringn theyre responsible for there own actions, you can only be there for your son and DONT BLAME YOURSELF Lifes to short you never know what tommorow brings aye good luck with the future

I have a son who went to jail for domestic violence two years ago...I did bond him out...only because he had just been promoted on his job and I didn't want him to loose it. I told him that the next time he goes to jail, I would come and visit him once a week but wouldn't bond him out. I had hopes that he and his girlfriend would split as they were like fire and gasoline....they did not.

Since then they had a baby and have grown up quite a bit...they don't fight like they used to. My son provides for his little family like every man should. Neither of them drink anymore. They are still young and argue at times but they both want to provide a good home for the sweet baby girl they brought into this world.

My children know that I love them and will stand on my head and spit nickels for them but ONLY if they are helping themselves....I will not enable them. I taught them well...they know right from wrong and if they don't remember how to do things the right way then they will learn by suffering the consequenses. My job is done.

Sometimes taking your hands off of them is the best thing you can do for them. Don't feel bad for making them stand on their own two feet.

don't feel bad at all i'm only 26 and when i was just a few years younger than i am now my parents did the same thing to me, some of us(my generation) kids really don't realize how good they have it and expect eveything to given to them,were f***** spoiled little brats(well i learned the hard way and agree w/ the traditions my past generations have tried to pass down to me) he'll come around , i'm sure he has a good heart under there, it just needs to come out! now i'm a father and i've realized that my parents wern't trying to be d**** they were trying to protect me, he'll realize that soon, as far as the rock bottom thing, it can go very low, some of us only see the tip of the iceburg and think gosh what happened, but you can always go lower, its really up to him and only him to decide that. good luck to you and your son, i'm sure i'll get a dose of this when i get older..lol

I sure hope so, I have decided that until he breaks the cycle with his girlfriend, it will never end, unless he does extended jail time and I am afraid that is what is going to happen...he is  a good kid, he works hard when he has a job and is good at his trade, but I think the pressure of having 2 children, the girlfriend not working, not cleaning or cooking, basically sitting on her behind all day and getting high, and him worrying about paying the bills gets to be too much and he either starts drinking or taking soma's again. I know he makes that choice to take them or drink, and must pay the consequences, but I think she could also help, she could either get a job or clean, do laundry, cook a meal... I have found out since being back in Indiana, that she was hitting on him, he had a black eye and scratches all over his face,  (when he when to jail)...he pushed her to get her away from him and the neighbor called the police, instead of him telling the truth and letting her go to jail., he went. his comment is...she is the mother of my children... are they both of fault? yes to a point, they both need to clean themselves up, no drugs or alcohol. She needs to get a job or do her part at home... they need to decided if they are going to stay together as a family or go their seperate ways... don't get me wrong...my son was wrong and needs to pay for his actions but she was just as wrong and again will not... it is a bad cycle that he needs to break before it is too late.....