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My Missed Miscarriage Story

Oct 14, 2010 - 0 comments
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Sept 14, 2010
I'm waiting on a missed miscarriage.  This is my 2nd missed miscarriage and I had a miscarriage before that as well.  I have 2 healthy children prior to all 3 miscarriages.

My 1st missed miscarriage was complicated.  I started spotting at about 6 1/2 weeks.  I didn't get in for an ultrasound until 7w5d, the found the baby measuring 6w4d with a good heartbeat and small clot behind the placenta.  I was so relieved.  I had gotten pregnant charting my temp and I continued to do so, originally out of curiosity and later out of concern.  I just knew something wasn't right.  I was still bleeding off and on, and with the dates being off by a week.  When I should have been 10weeks my temp plummeted (it was Friday after Thanksgiving) I got in for an ultrasound the following Wednesday.  The baby hadn't grown at all since that 1st ultrasound, no heart beat.  The gave me 3 options, a D&C, cytotec, or wait it out- he gave me 6 weeks, before I would 'need' the D&C.  
I had been seeing a midwife prior to the 2nd ultrasound, she recommending several herbs to speed things along so as not to need the D&C.  I took them as directed.  I literally passed the last of the tissue the day before the Dr called to force me to schedule the D&C.  Technically I believe I carried that baby after it passed away for about 8 weeks.

This time... I went in for my 1st appt (I was seeing a reg OB, not the midwife) at 7w5d.  It once again measured 6 days behind, normal heartbeat.  They put me on progesterone supplements.  A week later, 8w4d, I just felt to normal, as in not pregnant.  I got an ultrasound for that afternoon, once again saw the baby, measuring 8w1d with a good heartbeat!  They told me it was safe to share the news so I did.  I went in 12 days later for the original follow up to the 1st ultrasound, I had sent my husband on his business trip expecting all to be well.  It wasn't.  The baby stopped growing again and no heartbeat, still measured 8w1d when I should have been 10w3d.  This time the Dr was very kind (different Dr), offered the D&C or to wait for a natural miscarriage, which she warned me could take some time.  I'm now what would be 13w4d.  I've bled off an on since 3 days after the last ultrasound.  I'm guessing I lost this one at roughly 9 weeks, so I'm 4 weeks into my waiting for it to happen.

I know what to watch for in case of infection, I'm really worried about passing the baby and tissues as the last one was very easy without the heavy bleeding, and the 1st one was- while not easy, not terribly difficult either, more like your 'textbook' miscarriage.  I'm just impatient but unwilling to have a D&C unless it becomes medically necessary.  I'm wondering how long most women wait to have a missed miscarriage naturally.  So many people seem to get impatient and have the D&C after a few weeks, not that I'm putting that down, just that it's not the info I'm looking for.  It's certainly a woman's choice, it just happens mine is to do it as naturally as possible.

Sept 26, 2010
I still haven't miscarried.  Tomorrow is 5 weeks from when they told me, probably more like 6 from when it actually happened.  I stopped spotting entirely for nearly 2 weeks, felt just fine, no pregnancy symptoms or anything.  As soon as my husband came home from his most recent travels, I started my herbs (the same ones the midwife gave me before), I also started rubbing pressure points in both my hands and ankles.  After 3 days of herbs and one of pressure points I had an afternoon of light bleeding and minor cramps yesterday.  Unfortunately when I woke up this morning and the rest of the day it's essentially stopped again.  I am still cramping though, so I'm still hopefully, if emotionally exhausted.  I'm giving it one more week before I call the Dr to schedule a D&C, hopefully- if it's needed- I can schedule for the week following that (2 weeks out) as my husband is back on the road for the next 2 weeks, except weekends.  Fortunately my inlaws know what's going on and live down the street, in an emergency I won't be alone.

Oct 6, 2010
Here's an update, it's been 6 weeks and 2 days (today is Wednesday) since they told me I lost the baby, probably closer to 7 since the baby actually died.  I am going to put lots of detail in here, just so that others who have to go through this will have a reference that I had a hard time finding.

We spent the weekend at the Renaissance Faire, nothing was happening more than the occasional spotting, we joked it would happen while we were there since it would be highly inconvenient, although I went prepared.  Sunday evening as we were leaving I started bleeding, a couple small gushes, not quite enough to fill a pad, but a lot more than I'd had so far.  Mind you we were about to sit in the car for 2 hours.  I continued to bleed light to medium, always more if I was on the toilet, until that evening when it tapered to almost nothing.  

Then nothing on Monday, not a drop.  

Tuesday evening around 5ish, it came back, about the same as before, more than lightly, I would guess a medium flow, with small clots and more bleeding when I was on the toilet. This time it didn't stop.  It's now Wednesday, and I was up and down all night, almost every time I went there was blood in the toilet, enough to turn the water dark pink to red, often clots, some small some larger, once I wiped and had tons of little clots on the tissue.  I'm pretty sure that this is it, I don't think it's stopping this time until it's all over.  Now so long as it completes itself and there are no issues such as excessive bleeding or retained tissue, in a week or 2 I'll be good to go back to life as I know it.  

As far as cramping, I've had mild cramps off and on, occasionally a twinge that actually catches my attention but it's generally short lived and not worth taking painkillers for (not that I have a problem with them, Ibuprofen is my friend, lol).  I do tend to have more in the way of back pain vs cramps in my normal period.  There's been back aches off and on since about 6 weeks or so (when they first told me the baby wasn't growing properly).  Some days they're worse, some days nothing.  

Emotionally, this has been more difficult than the last one.  For 2 reasons I think, the first being that this is potentially my 3rd miscarriage definitely the 2nd, so the chances of having a successful pregnancy have dropped.  The second is that I wasn't in contact with a midwife who would be more open to me and expectant management for as long as it took.  I did have an OB but I was saving them for when I needed more than reassurance and needed medical intervention.  Having a midwife available to speak with when I needed that reassurance would have made this easier.   I spent a lot of this time in a mild depression, every time the bleeding started I would perk up have some energy and want to do things, I even painted 2 walls in my house one of those days.  Only to have it stop again and make me all the more frustrated.

I took Black Cohosh, Blue Cohosh and Cottonwood tinctures, according to the directions from the midwife I saw for the first miscarriage.  I also used pressure points, some I knew from labor with my first children, the others my chiropractor showed me when I asked.  His opinion was that if it took 8 weeks to complete the miscarriage the last time, it would like take about 8 weeks this time around too.  I'm not sure if the herbs I took helped or not, they didn't hurt any since I followed the dosage given.  I think they will only work if your body is ready.  If either the herbs or pressure points worked, I'd have to go with the pressure points, I did those for 2-3 days and that's when the bleeding started to get heavier, continuing them seemed to make it continue by causing contractions.  

Oct 8, 2010
This is it.  It's over completely.  Or at least I'm about 95% sure it is.  It's Friday, yesterday afternoon around 2 in the afternoon my cramps got worse.  By evening they were pretty bad, feeling like contractions.  I was an emotional mess.  I usually have a fairly high tolerance for pain which I still think pain wise is was manageable.  But having to be alone while it was happening had me in tears.  Ibuprofen didn't do much for the contractions but helped the back pain.  I calmed down around 9pm.  

Around 12:30 at night I decided it hurt more to lay in bed than to sit on the toilet, so I relocated, brought a pillow to sit on my knees and rest my head and book to look at in between contractions.  The contractions were coming nearly on top on each other.  About 15 minutes later or so, I checked the toilet, the water was solid red, it didn't look diluted anymore.  It made me a little nervous, but I flushed and waited again as the contractions were still coming.  I checked again 10-15 later and while the water was red, it wasn't like before, the bleeding was slowing down.  Flushed again and waited, I read a whole (short) chapter!  I realized the contractions were slowing down and getting less intense, otherwise I wouldn't have managed to actually read!  I checked again and the bleeding was minor, some but not much.  I figured it was safe to crawl into bed.  It was about 1:30am.

I called my husband in Kansas (on business, we live in CA), told him I thought the worst was over.  I just needed to talk for a bit.  We talked until about 2:45am.  I continued to contract for maybe an hour or so and actually fell asleep for a bit, I woke about 3:30am, a stronger cramp, not as bad as before, just not something to sleep through.  I went to the bathroom.  Very little blood, mostly when I wiped really.  Fell right back to sleep, woke about 5:45 thanks to my dogs wanting out, went to the bathroom before climbing back in bed, just like the last time, very little blood, mostly when wiping.  

Now it's 8:15 in the morning.  Been up since 7.  Had to get my oldest off to school (grandpa drove him for me, but I still needed to make lunch and get him dressed) and while I was hoping my youngest would sleep in so that I could crawl into bed, no such luck.  I feel fine, aside from super tired, no cramping, a vague ache-ish type feeling from my lower abdomen, which given the workout those muscles got last night doesn't really surprise me.  My back ache is mostly gone, not completely but not bad, not worth taking painkillers over.  Bleeding is still fairly light.  I think it's over.

I hope all this detail helps some one else sometime in their lives when they need it.  It can take a while for a missed miscarriage to happen naturally.  It could be almost totally painless like my first or it could be pretty miserable like this one.  I don't recommend letting it happen while you're alone though, that was the worst part.  I had my phone, by me the whole time, my inlaws are 6 houses away.  But what I wanted was my husband with me, that would have made a world of difference to me.  But it's over, it over the way I wanted it to be over.  I'm safe and he'll be home late tonight.  I can finally move on to the rest of my life.  I can finally decide if we're going to try again or not.  Good luck to all you out there that might be going through something similar.  I'm just trying to give you information I couldn't find myself.

Oct 12, 2010
It took about 7 1/2 weeks, but 6 1/2 from when they told me.  The ultrasound where they told me I had lost it was on Aug 23rd, still measuring 8w1d like it had on Aug 11th (there was a good hb on the 11th), I'm guessing it probably passed away shortly after that ultrasound.  I started bleeding Oct 3rd, stopped the next day, started again on the 5th, continued until when late on the 7th I had what seemed just like labor.  The next day (Friday) I still had some cramping and bleeding, but lighter than before, then the following day (Saturday) was lighter still.  All day Sunday I had barely there pink spotting, Monday, I had brown spotting until that night and there was more bleeding, although lightly.  Today being the Tuesday following the miscarriage, back to barely there spotting, and pretty minor occasional cramping.  My last missed miscarriage was fairly painless, this one was not.  Thursday night really did rival labor with my 1st, but only for about an hour or 2.

Unfortunately, despite the nurses assurances that I very likely passed every thing I'm trying not to stress myself out that the bleeding is back even if light.  I have an appt tomorrow for an ultrasound to make sure it's all emptied out.  Which I hope it is, I don't want to have gone through all of that to only end up where I could have been a month and a half ago.  The nurse told me that the cramping could continue up to 2 weeks, she didn't mention about the bleeding but I think it's still well inside of the range of normal too.  With the 1st believed miscarriage (I didn't know, so I don't have the results of a test, we weren't trying and I was bfing my 17m old) I bled like a heavy period with lots of clots (comparatively) and then spotted/ had light bleeding off an on for 2 weeks.  Some days had nothing some had light bleeding and some only spotting.  

I'm not sure why the last time I had such confidence in my body to do what needed to be done, using the Drs as back up instead of the 1st line of defense.  And this time, I seem to doubt everything despite that while it took a while it still did what it needed.  In roughly the same amount of time too.  I seem to worry about every little quirk with this one.  As much as I want another child, I'm not sure I can emotionally handle going through pregnancy like this, the worry would drive me insane, never mind the possibility of it happening again.

Oct 13, 2010
I had my appt this morning.  The ultrasound showed lots of tissue, probably the whole placenta still left well attached.  They want to do a D&C and I'm so tired of this dragging on that I'm going through with it, no fighting them.  If it had just been fragments I might have let it go longer but the whole thing a week after the rest was passed.  I'm an emotional mess and want to emotionally start recovering now.  So tomorrow morning I get there at 10, I go in at 11:30, and wake up and it'll be all over.  Finally.  I'm not by any stretch of the imagination happy about doing things this way, but I'm going to be done.  Then I go back 3 weeks after that to do blood tests to see if they can figure out why I keep miscarrying.

Oct 14, 2010
Hopefully my last update.  I got into a room at 10:20ish, had an IV by 10:40, the Dr, anesthesiologist and nurse within a few minutes of that.  I asked for something to relax me a bit since I was struggling to fight off tears and panic attacks.  He gave gave me something right away, and then immediately moved me into the OR, seemed kinda silly at that point, I was only on it for maybe 2-5 minutes before I was out like a light.  I remember being rolled in, the oxygen tubes put on my nose and the little sticky thingies on my chest (don't remember what they're called or what they're for) and next thing I know I'm rolling into the post op room.  I asked my husband 3 times how it went before I started to remember asking. He thought that was pretty funny.  I was shaky for a bit so they warmed me up, then they had me up and moving, just a bit later I was out the door.  He says it was pretty close to an hour but it went very fast because they're going over everything with you.  I only feel a vague achiness down there, most of the time I don't even notice it.  I've had only one short cramp, very mild, almost not worth mentioning at all, but that was the extent of my cramps.  The shot of lidocaine they gave me for the IV hurt more than anything else.  I had a bit of bleeding the first time in the bathroom but barely more than spotting since then.  Crossing my fingers that's all I have since I had so much bleeding already, but as long as it just gets better either is okay with me.  Mostly I'm tired.  Have a weird dryness at the back of my nose- like right before you come down with a cold, hoping it's not a cold and that it goes away. :P  There's been enough to deal with I would love to get a little break, lol.  

So there.  That's (hopefully) the end of my story. :)  At least barring the blood tests in a few weeks...

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