Oct 18, 2010
Today was a better day than in a long time. My psychiatrist had prescribed me Lovaza as a mood stabilizer a few weeks ago. It also in augmenting the glycine, as a mood stabilizer just like any standard antipsychotic for a person with schizoaffective was working on standard psychosis. Psychosis along with standard mood swings that were effecting thought and judgment. Paranoia, grandiosity, inflated sense of self importance. However I didn't see my psychiatrist yet although I updated him by phone. I had followed up with a blood test (at his encouragement, this was facilitated so I could have this done as a person who is physically homebound at my apartment, my doctor set this up from the blood lab he is associated with). I saw my neurologist who is a movement disorders specialist. The Lovaza was treating tardive dystonia. This is a clinical first and one that was within potential since it is related to fish oil which has been shown to treat tardive dyskinesia is some studies. But there was something else I was there to tell him. The truth.
In all these times before I had discussed physical symptoms and had explained what might be neuropsychiatric. I had failed to discuss what was obviously psychiatric. Withholding information is manipulative regardless. However this was a symptom in itself. This time I did things correctly. With that aside we then discussed what could be neuropsychiatric. The catatonia was classified as "atypical catatonia" and stated as neurological. I had recognized that the Lovaza was helping on psychotic thoughts. I could feel it. The world outside didn't appear in some way frightening and falling apart (there has been a tornado and they were clearing the trees afterwards, that had been highly dangerous but it had nothing to do with my physical symptoms such as dysphasia that could be unsafe for me at times . Linking the two was vague and tangential). I had experienced that help before with convential treatment. However there was another effect. I awakened out of a catatonic state. That I had not experienced before and although I could describe it at the time, I could not step out of it. With that treated the "death like" effect and the slowing down of space and time (also part of the tardive dysmentia which it is treating as well) responded began to clear. As well as the tardive dysphrenia, which is a very specific clinical criteria in study, meaning that tardive dyskinesia has spred to the limbic (emotional) system so that when I experienced emotional thoughts or memories it set off convulsions. That has began to mitigate as well. And standard issues such as returning to normal bedtime hours with rapid cycling not interfering. Please note all of these criteria and beneficial effects although noted with standard researchers until clinically documented is still tentative and even then would be a clinical finding not a fact.
So with my neurotransmitters in touch with it each other it was time to be in touch with the outside world. To go back to seeing family. To see my remaining friends. And to make more. And to get back to advocacy and other issues that have meaning in my life. And to remember where I was until then being that fall and especially Halloween was the onset of a very frightening anniversary date (a standard term where an emotional of an unpleasant time creates flare up symptoms) of when this all started a few years ago. Well thanks to the treatment and follow up I received, the anniversary date has been cancelled. Its time to see what real life events will take its place and plan them...