It seems a big dark cloud following me.
Dad is hospitalized again. I think he may have quit eating and drinking on purpose; he might just be tired of fighting all the battles you and your wife of 60 years have to fight when you are 88 years old and she is 81. I think it would be really quite fair to tell us so we stop yapping at him if it is his decision. I believe he may have just quit trying. Lots of things are a lot of effort when you are 88.
I'm hedging to the depressions side myself because I cannot seem to get a job. I am so capable; it infuriates me I can't land a job. My background is killing me. At least I assume that is what it is.
Jim is crabbing about money on a daily basis again and I cannot listen to that everyday without feeling like an absolute looser because if I made some money - like got a job - we wouldn't be in this pickle. On the other hand, damn it there are men all over this country and world that WANT to support their wife. Mine is just a miserable fu#@ing situation everyday of my life. Why can't he remember that I supported him for so many years? He didn't have any health issues - just like now he has issues with his abilities to negotiate a salary! He has never accepted me doing as poor of a job as he has ... I always had to demand additional raises sometimes to the tune of 50%! /where are his kahunas?
Mood Tracker
