Return to Profile page Friends |  Journals |  Notes |  Photos |  Posts |  Trackers
All Journal Entries Journals
 |  Del.icio.usYahoo BookmarksFacebookGoogle Bookmarks

Living Death

Aug 28, 2008 12:00AM - 7 comments
Tags:

Death

,

glioblastoma

,

Grief

Our friend, Charlie, is very near death.  He has been a friend of ours for more years than I can remember.  We've been on motorcycle trips across the southwest US with him, and a better road-mate I can't imagine. In middle age he finally met the woman of his life, and this avowed bachelor gladly took the vows of marriage.  Charlie and Jo were married in Hawaii on July 7, 2007.  On September 27, Charlie was in the hospital and diagnosed with a brain tumor.  Glioblastoma multiforme.  What an perfectly disgusting word for one of the worst cancers a body can get.

Over the past 11 months Charlie has endured seizures, memory loss, brain surgery, paralysis, radiation and four forms of chemotherapy, the last 2 flavors of chemo being experimental.  After a few days of the lastest poison, he decided enough was enough.  That was just over a week ago.

Charlie has been unresponsive all day and this evening his breathing became very labored and his blood pressure tanked to 60/40.  He was taken by ambulance to a hospice facility and placed on oxygen.  Is it awful of me to pray that dies tonight?  Have both those wonderful people not been through enough?  I just don't know.  

Comments
Post a Comment
by Jaybay, Aug 28, 2008 09:18AM
It's over.  Charlie died last night at 3:36 with his wife and friends by his side.  It's a sad, sad day for us, but a blessed one for Charlie.  His suffering is over and he's back Home.  It's just not fair.  Jo has now nursed and lost a second husband to the end of a terminal illness.  How much more does that woman have to endure?  Well, I need to go wipe my face and get the snot out of my sinuses.  I'm out of internet range the next few days, but Charlie will be in our hearts always.

by ireneo, Aug 28, 2008 10:25AM
I'm so sorry to hear about Charlie. I understand the confusion about whether to pray for his release or not. It seems almost selfish. I struggled with that the last few days before my Dad passed away. But you're right - he is free from that painful body that was tying him down.

I know about the crying, you don't want the tears to pop out at the wrong time. But if someone looks at you funny, just tell them to stuff it. You take care right now. And let Jo know others are thinking of her as well.

Irene

by Me967, Aug 28, 2008 11:32AM
Jaybay Hi.  So sorry to hear about your friend Charlie.   I know how very hard it is to loose a close friend.  I feel sooo bad for you and your friend/friends.   It is very hard when their suffering is gone were happy for them yet sad for ourselves because we miss them so very very bad.  As you said though good friends and/or loved ones ALWAYS stay in our hearts forever!  Please take care of yourself and as Irene said let your friend Jo know that we are thinking of her as well.   Take care....((((hugs))))   Amy


by Jules77733, Aug 28, 2008 05:32PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. Jo, your friends, and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like Charlie had a wonderful life, even if it was cruelly cut short, and you'll always have a wealth of good memories involving him to look back on and smile about. It's never easy losing someone who brightened our lives and the world, but at least we can find some peace knowing that they're in a better place where they are no longer suffering.

Take Care,

Julia

by Sue357, Sep 01, 2008 02:46PM
Jaybay, so sorry about the loss of your friend.  You have definately had a year.  I agree with above posters about our loved ones being in a better place...it is us, left behind, who suffer.  God bless you....

by Tuckamore, Sep 01, 2008 03:32PM
Jaybay, God Bless you all. There are never proper or right words to say when someone loses a special loved one such as Charlie. So I won't try. But I will say that you are loved here at MH, you have many friends that care that you are now grieving. I can hear the pain in your posting for those that Charlie left behind. May you all find comfort in the love he left behind and one another. My best to you and Charlie's other loved ones. We're here any time you need to chat. I wish you God's grace and peace, Tuck

by Jaybay, Sep 03, 2008 09:30AM
Many thanks to all of you for your kind comments.  The funeral was pretty rough on Monday, but it was also a beautiful thing to behold.  Charlie and Jo weren't members of a church, so they used a pastor found by the funeral home.  What luck!  He was nothing short of superb.  Everyone left the service feeling uplifted and comforted.  How about that for a bunch of gnarly bikers?  :-)

I can imagine that Jo is having a very difficult time this week.  After my father died and the funeral was over, I didn't know what to do with all that adrenaline that still coursed through my body.  That feeling of being lost in limbo takes its own time to depart.  I don't think Jo quite understood that in marrying Charlie, she acquired a huge extended family in the biker community.  Now she does.  We may not see one another for weeks at a time, but when the shite hits the fan we're all there en masse.  Those people have comforted me with their presence during more than one disaster in my life, and I thank God they're a part of my life - and now Jo's.

Post a Comment
Post