Poison Ivy: Lessons Learned

I've never had poison ivy before. I've seen it plenty of times, even recently, so before I got it, it's not like I didn't know what it looked like or what people endure to get through it. In fact, my boyfriend got over a case of it only three weeks ago, and a previous case about a month before that, so in order to help him, I researched it (he'd never had it before then either). So one would think that I'd have some common sense about poison ivy.

Lesson learned #1: I will no longer ever think "It won't happen to me. It can't happen to me. So that's not what this is."

I was doing some yard work on Aug. 17. Just spraying down some crab grass and nut grass in my yard with weed killer. Simple enough. Months ago I sprayed the poison ivy that was growing along the sides my yard, so I thought it was gone. Besides, I wasn't spraying along the sides of my yard--I was spraying the lawn. Grass, that's all. So how poison ivy found me, I have no clue.
The mosquitoes and chiggers were bad that night too. I can count on getting a few bites from both those pesty little parasites every time I do yard work. I live in Alabama in the summer time--'nuff said.

Lesson learned #2: Mosquito and chigger bites don't usually itch for more than a couple of days. And they certainly don't turn into a rash.

Why I actually had myself convinced beyond all reason that I was covered in chigger/bug bites is unexplainable. I'm generally a sensible person. But for eight stinkin' days, I think the itch messed up my head and all my rationality. The best evidence for that would probably be the two-day paranoia I had last week about bed bugs. I took the mattress off my bed, looked under the sheets and inspected my pillows.

Lesson learned #3: When poison ivy starts to spread, it does most of the spreading at night, because I often woke myself up from scratching in my sleep.

Hence the reason for bed bug paranoia. I'd wake myself up scratching and immediately turn on my lamp, thinking I'd find a bed bug on me enjoying a midnight snack. Then I'd get out of bed and pull all my sheets off and inspect my mattress again. This went on for two nights before I finally decided that I don't have bed bugs. Thankfully.
By this time, the "bites" were turning into a rash that was painfully itchy. The itch would be an intense burn and impossible to ignore.

Lesson learned #4: Scratching the rash does not relieve the itch whatsoever. Scratching makes the burn more intense, to the point where it can't be ignored even to STOP scratching it. You have to keep scratching until the painful burning sensation goes away, which sometimes takes a few minutes of continuous scratching.

Lesson learned #5: Scratching one small affected area then triggers the rest of the rash patches over the body to itch at the same time. So if I scratch my left ankle, the other rash patches over my body all begin to get that same itch that's literally impossible to ignore all at the same time.

Lesson learned #6: I now know how it feels to truly be temporarily insane.

Lesson learned #7: I know what it feels like to be treated like a leper. Looked at with more disgust than pity and treated like you're contagious.

Lesson learned #8: It doesn't matter how many times you explain to people that a poison ivy rash is NOT contagious if the plant oil has been washed off; they still think if they touch you with a 50 foot pole that they're going to get poison ivy. People are stupid--then again, I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to stupidity and paranoia, do I?

Lesson learned #9: Other people get extremely annoyed with temporary insanity due to itching and don't hesitate to either mock you in disgust or yell at you to stop, which is, as I said, impossible to do until the burning sensation goes away. Stop scratching?! Why don't these people just tell the wind not to blow!

I suspect my recovery won't be much longer now that I've had a shot in the butt yesterday and I'm taking pills to quickly decrease the severe inflamation I've given myself. I can't possibly get my health and sanity back soon enough. I am rashed on my feet, ankles, shins, thighs, behind my knees, my stomach, my hands, my arms, my neck, and my scalp.
But hey, at least I don't have bed bugs!