All Journal Entries Journals

Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 39

Nov 21, 2010 - 257 comments
Tags:

Recovery

,

ultram

,

Healing



Good Morning Tramadol Warriors!

Welcome! We're so glad to see you.

Please come on in and make yourself at home. This is a very good place to be if you want to get off and stay off Tramadol.


Love and Healing,
Emily

Comments
Post a Comment
1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 21, 2010
Thanks ImDONEnomore

                                   I got back to sleep at 6.45am ish and got up with the alarm at 7.30.  I never used to set the alarm and just woke when I was ready but I've decided to get up at the same time 7 days a week no matter what so that I don't end up sleeping my days away and getting into an even worse sleep pattern (couldn't poss get much worse than now tho ha ha).  
                        I haven't had a tv since I moved house over 2 months ago.  The removalists dropped it but take no responsibility at all, of course.  So, when I'm awake in the middle of the night I'm got lots of unpacking and sorting to keep me occupied.

Have a good night/day everyone
SheLiz

1411102_tn?1284984252
by ladylisa109, Nov 21, 2010
For those of you stuggling or wondering if you will ever sleep normal or more than just a couple of hours at a time again.  I am currently 104 days clean from Tramadol and now sleep about 6-8 hrs most night.  I have occassionally had a rough night here or there and take melatonin 3mg when those nights pop up.  I still have to take Hyland's for RLS most nights but I had problems with it even before Tram.  I have Rhuematiod Arthritis and Fibromyalsia and RLS is a fairly common problem with both of those conditions.  I figure if an restless night from time to time and a few muscle twitches now and again are the only side effects I have left from being on this poison for over 5yrs than I have gotten off pretty easy ;o)  I just want to encourage those of you beginning your journey to be free of Tramadol.   There really is a light at the end of the tunnel and life gets SO much better and brighter once you reach it!  Today I feel I am back to 100% of ME and it is wonderful.  So please keep fighting and posting and supporting one another because is truly is worth it.  

Blessings, Lisa

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 22, 2010
Hello everybody
Just a quick look in.  SheLiz I am in a similar boat with sleep, but not quite as bad as last week.  I take paracetamol and that seems to help.  The last 24 hours have been a bit of a yo-yo but I feel I am getting somewhere at last.  I think my energy levels are a tiny bit better as the poisonous tramadol is lessened.  I managed just 2x50mg capsules at 12 hour intervals.  I forgot to take the half- until I woke feeling horrible in the early hours of this morning. So officially yesterday was a 2 day.  Today so far is a one and a half day -- it's now afternoon.  I will hopefully manage on just one more.  
muchforgiven - how are you?  Okay I hope.
This invisible thread that links us all is worldwide.  Several in the US- SheLiz in Australia and me in England.  It's a powerful healing web.  I do see an end now- and the beginning of hopefully a drug free life.  I read through Emilys early recovery and it seems the many pains she had were in the end caused or exacerbated by tramadol.  When I am free, I want to explore  all the natural options to deal with pain, so this never happens to me again.
Thanks Lisa for your great encouragement. Thanks everyone.
lizzy

Avatar_f_tn
by muchforgiven, Nov 22, 2010
Hi everyone,
I feel I should post even though I wish I were further along. Today is a 3 pill day 8-2-8. Tomorrow 2 1/2. I am not comfortable going down further yet with Thanksgiving coming and 12 for dinner. Lizzie, I applaud you for doing 2 yesterday. Keep going girl! SheLiz, glad to hear you are being productive during your non sleep hrs.
If there is one thing I hate, it's not being able to sleep. I am not looking forward to that part. I must say, I would not have the courage to persist if it weren't for your posts.It is hard for me to believe I will ever feel really good again. Dec18 will be 2 yrs. on the devil pills I really want to be drug free by the end of the yr. That is my goal.
So for today, I am fighting the good fight, believing your experience of a full recovery. Thanks to all who post, I get something from each one of you.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 22, 2010
Hi Everyone

                 I have just woken from my weekly 8hr sleep and feel almost human.  I'm sure that if we were all allowed to sleep while getting rid of this horrible drug then we would all have more strength and sanity to deal with the w/d.  Unfortunately, it's the nature of the drug to keep us awake to show us the worst of itself.

                Lizzielang &  Muchforgiven - re the pain we originally took tram for...  I can't remember which pains I had before and which I had after starting Tram but I'm convinced now that Tram really doesn't help with pain and actually causes more than it kills.  I was going to take my paracetamol, Blackmore's 'Sleep' and Zyprexa last night as I was so desperate for sleep but I have just come out after my 8hr sleep and they are all still sitting on the bedside table.  I fell asleep before I could take them.  I'm for grateful for the 'escape' into a real sleep last night.  It also probably means it'll now be another week before I sleep again but for today I'm happy :-)

               I managed to stretch my second 50mg to 12.5hrs yesterday and I was pretty anxious towards the end but I'm ready to move this along now.  The plan at the moment is to move the times again by 1/2 a day then when it gets to a stage where moving the time is not going to work any more (ie. the times start to fall later in the middle of the might when I could possibly/hopefully be sleeping) I will keep the times that work and start taking out progressivly more amounts from each tablet each time I take it.  I hope that makes sense.  Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes.  I took my last 50mg at 9.30 last night so the next one will be 10am this morning then 10.30 tonight and 11am tomorrow morning.  I'm confused but I'm sure it's going to be all good :-)

               Thanks to all the 'Oldies' who keep supporting us - you are our proof that we are doing the right thing and that there is a real life after this nightmare.

Thanks everyone
SheLiz

1512059_tn?1298300173
by rt35630, Nov 22, 2010
Hey everyone! I'm new to the community. I learned by reading Emily's original posts how dangerous this drug is when surfing after I found out I was addicted to a "safe" medication. I never took the consistently high qtys that some people did, but after a year I'd say my average has been about 15 50mg tabs a day, sometimes more. Yesterday was supposed to be my first 10 pill day. I took five in the morning, three at mid-day, 2 more shortly thereafter (not the plan). I had to take two more in the middle of the night because I got antsy (RLS). I realize I am going to have to accept this  symptom of w/d as a part of my life for a while. It was nothing unbearable or anything. I am going to force myself to live with any future w/d punishment for bad judgement like that.

Today, I took 5 in the morning, 2 at about 12:30, and I plan on taking 3 at bedtime. Hopefully this will keep me sleeping restfully for a few weeks. I've never slept the whole night through, being a person who will sleep a few hours and wake a few...I know that it is best if you are not resting comfortably for whatever reason, better to get up and do something creative or practical. Being a church musician, I can always run to the church (just up the street) and play the organ or piano for a while. I have some silver that needs polishing.

I'm sitting here with mild jitters. I might as well accept it cause from what y'all say I can only expect them to get worse.

Randy

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 22, 2010
Hi Randy

               Good to see you have found the journal.  I found it a few weeks ago and it has been such a great support and a relief to know that I was not the only one.  My taper is going well and I'm down to 2 x 50mg a day and although its been rough it's definitely the right thing to do and I've very hopeful for a better future.  

               It's been great to have this place to vent and ramble during the long sleepless hours.

    So, see you again soon

SheLiz

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 23, 2010
Just updating that I have finally found that the tapering has got to a point its not the best thing anymore and I've decided to go CT.  So, I had my last 50mg at 9.30 last night and it's now almost 6pm the next day so thats about 21 1/2 hours.  It's been along day and I've kept as busy and my heavy body will allow me to.  I'm feeling positive and it does make a huge difference to know that all the discomfort is because of the tram and nothing else.  

Feeling very agitated but its all ok

SheLiz

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 23, 2010
Hello everyone- especially Randy---as SheLiz says you have come to the right place.  I am relatively new though I had been lurking for a while before I made my first post in early November.  This site has really helped me and pushed me forwards to my goal of being tramadol free by new year (if possible)  It is not easy.  For me it has brought up so much psychological stuff which I should have dealt with long ago-- but kept shoving into the tramadol closet.  I am now beginning to face the real me - and I don't know even if I'll like that person yet, but I'm on a mission and wont look back now. It's got to be better than living in a fog, a delusion, a pretence which frequently felt like a nightmare, totally controlled by pills.  Tramadol is a very insidious nasty drug and I for one must unshackle myself from it.  We can all do it. This site is unbelievable. So supportive and really interesting. We are all connected in our different struggles.
Yesterday was a two day.  Can't really believe it. It was not that difficult.  I am now knowing those little evil worms of anxiety that start hammering when a dose is nearly due.  I am beginning to face and fight them and say no. No!  So I held out the 12 hours.  SheLiz I think your approach is good - I'm going with it if I can - though in view of last week when I took a tumble, I am giving myself permission to take an extra half if absolutely essential;  The plan is to stick with this now for another week.  I wont reduce like you just yet.  Think I may need to even out on just 2 a day at those 12 hourly intervals.  As for pain--I'm watching it.  My lower back is not too good - but I force myself to walk fairly brusquely twice a day which helps. A few yoga postures also help.  The high dose Ibuprofen is not right for me.  I feel it just doesn't sit well in my stomach.  As I get stronger and mentally clearer, I will maybe explore homeopathic remedies for pain.
Sleep is slowly getting better-- last night was four hours and then another hour later.  With sleep comes strength and optimism.  
For me the biggest hurdle is depression which seems always there in the background but can also gain a momentum and come in stronger waves lasting a couple of hours. I feel a hopelessness then.  I know it will ease off, but it can bring despair.  This I have to fight. My best and only weapon is meditation.  Applying  it at these times is very hard though- but it works if I do.
Thanks to all of you for listening-
with love-lizzy

1395853_tn?1280355113
by MyFreedom, Nov 23, 2010
Good morning friends! I should totally be in bed, but because of the decongestant/cold med I am taking I am wide awake at 3am ***sigh***  Oh well....at least it's not tramadol keeping me awake, right?

SheLiz ~ Good for you for deciding you've had enough and going CT! Stay focused no matter how bad it may/may not get and keep your goal in sight. That evil drug will try and convince you every step of the way, but hold strong to your resolve and determination to be free.

I saw where you said that tram causes more pain than it kills. This was definitely true for me as well. The entire time I was on tram I never really felt "well". My back/shoulder issues never seemed to get better while on tramadol. When my taper ended and I stopped them completely, my back/shoulder pain flared up mildly and I did have some random and strange new pains/aches show up in the 2-3 months after I stopped tram. I was told that the new pains that manifest during w/d have something to do with our opioid receptors freeing themselves of tramadol and learning how to function properly again. I believe I even read that this is the main reason for all the gastrointestinal troubles associated with w/d....it's because our GI system is loaded with opioid receptors and once they stop getting that steady dose of tram, the whole system goes haywire. It's unbelievable how this drug is just handed out like candy.

lizzielang ~ The same goes for you!! You are doing a good job at keeping to your taper. Just stick with it and don't let those pills talk to you...don't let them talk to you into taking any extras. If possible, when you feel the urge to take one out of schedule, find something to help occupy yourself.....grab and ipod and listen to music....take a hot shower....go for a walk....do anything that will occupy your mind long enough for the urge to pass. You've definitely got the right attitude! Don't let this drug take any more of your life away from you. I promise, you WILL like the new you. Look at your own words..... "I'm on a mission and wont look back now. It's got to be better than living in a fog, a delusion, a pretence which frequently felt like a nightmare, totally controlled by pills.  Tramadol is a very insidious nasty drug and I for one must unshackle myself from it.  We can all do it.".....That's the REAL you talking!! You've started to see the light at the end of the tunnel...keep heading towards it!

I am 244 days free from tramadol (8 months) and I feel better than I have felt in years. Both of you are doing an awesome job. Keep at it. Soon enough, you two will be the "vets" on here that are encouraging the newcomers!

Okay, enough of my decongestant-induced rambling.... I'm off to bed!!

Much love and strength!
:)

Avatar_n_tn
by Jimmyswe, Nov 23, 2010
Hello! 35 year old male from Sweden. My story with painkillers started about three years ago. Got codeine/paracetamol pills 30/500 from time to time for shoulder pain. They worked! Haha.., well, it all expanded from there, getting them more and more often from several doctors, taking 6-10 per day. (Once in a while I got Tramadol instead.) Last two years I`ve been addicted. The last five months I\ve been taking tramadol 50mg, anywhere from 4-12 per day. (never taken both types of painkillers)

Went to see my new doctor a couple weeks ago and told the whole story. He seems to be a really really good doctor:)We agreed on a taper, starting with 4 pills a day first week, then 3 the next week. Needless to say this was to start way to low, since I`ve taken 6-10 the previous weeks. I was the one who came up with starting with 4, so no one to blame;) After day 2 at 4 pills, at 3am or something I googled tramadol withdrawal and found this site. The withdrawal effects were terrible as most of you know. I live alone after breaking up with my girlfriend and her two kids for six years, this summer. I am also unemployed at the moment.
So..., my surroundings for quitting isnt ideal, but I`m gonna do this. Anyway, after that night and half the next day reading a lot about Tramadol and codeine withdrawal(must have read hundreds of storyes) I went to my doc. Told him what I read about these two drugs, and suggested to switch to codeine/paracetamol tablets. I took my last Tramadol tablets 10 days ago. First 3-4 days were a little rough, but it was NOTHING compared to those couple of days going down to 4 tramadols. and best of it all, NO restless legs, which I think is unbearable.. I still have a way to go though, I`m down to 3 and a half 30/500 codeine/paracetamol tablets, but the withdrawal effects are so much milder than with Tramadol. I`m on a slow taper, going down half a tablet per week, so hardly any withdrawal effects at all the last 4-5 days.

Maybe this can be an option for someone who hasnt started tapering Tramadol yet, at least for me it was the right thing to do. First 3-4 days without tramadol I took 8 x 30/500 codeine/paracetamol, cutting it to 4 after that. That went just fine:)

Anyway, I`m so done with Tramadol, just thought I`d share my experience, good luck to everyone:)



1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 23, 2010
Hi All

          Well, it's 35hrs since my last 50mg tram and I feel disgusting.  Too jittery and fuzzy to post much at the moment but just letting you know I'm around.  I had a sleep last night but it was with the aid of seroquel so that was cheating a bit but I was going to go mad with out it.  

         I'm just going to get through the days as best as I can as there is no going back once I\ve come this far.

Talk to you all again later

SheLiz

          

Avatar_f_tn
by angelmoon, Nov 23, 2010
Hello everyone.  Way to go Sheliz!!!  Withdrawals stink...especially in the beginning but it gets a little better everyday.  I did take stuff to sleep.  For me it was necessary to have a break in the battle.  The lack of sleep is one big problem by itself.  I could not muscle my way through that...I did'nt even try.  My sleep is still not great but I believe getting some sleep during withdrawals helped me stay on course . I worked my way through some old issues while I was in this raw place.  It was very dark and I am happy to be in the light. God gives such strength when we cry out with a humble heart.  This experienced humbled yet strengthened me in a profound way. Be gentle and loving with yourself.  Don't give up...a good day is just around the corner.  

To everyone else...I am SO THANKFUL for all of you.  The newbies, the oldies....all.  This community has been a lifeline for me.  Happy Thanksgiving Friends.

Much love prayers and strength



1255752_tn?1279566257
by Onedaynow, Nov 23, 2010
To all of you Tramadol Warriors, Great Job!

I am now 7 months free of Tramadol but still come here to check on things. You all are doing great, give yourself credit for how far you have come, even if you are just at the point of realizing it is time to be free of these evil pills.

I had a 7 year habit taking 300-400mg a day. I did a fairly slow taper as I had to work and I had not told my family. My advice for you taperers is to go slow enough that you are not feeling that it is intolerable. I think if you let it get intolerable you will likely quit trying. The end WILL come as long as you never increase your dosing. REMEMBER as the dose decreases, the smaller the taper has to be...I finally got down to 12.5mg every 24 hours for about 5 days, before I felt I could stop.

One day you will wake up and this will all be behind you. Yes, other problems come to surface, emotions become very real BUT you will no longer have to take Tramadol, order Tramadol, hide Tramadol, pay for Tramadol; I know you get the picture. I promise you will sleep again, it may take a while (I thought it would never happen) but you really will. You will even start to forget about how hard the journey you are currenly on really was (one reason why I return now and again).

Just know there are people out here, who were where you are now, sending postive thoughts your way and supporting your success!


1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 23, 2010
It's now 41 hours and I'm running out of things to keep me occupied.  It's too hard to focus on work my body doesn't want to do anything physical.  I'm going to go out for a walk in a minute.  I'm not hungry but I've been eating just as a distraction.  I'll definitely be taking another seroquel tonight as its only 2.30pm and I just want the day to end already.  I've got a yoga class tonight which I am going to go to and then sleeep.


1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 23, 2010
Thanks to everyone out there for the amazing support and encouragement.  This would be a much bigger nightmare if I was doing it totally on my own.


1512059_tn?1298300173
by rt35630, Nov 23, 2010
I started NA this week as well as a taper. I've been taking 15-18 50mg tabs a day for about a year. With my taper I have started with 10 tabs a day. I need to know if keeping the doses even or not matters. I've been tapering 3 days. The first day I gave in and took 2 more in the middle of the night. I take 5 pills at about 6 a.m. 2 at 12:30, and 3 at about 9 p.m. So far I am having what people are calling the RLS thing. I am also having trouble sleeping. BUT the RLS is not intolerable - more like an inconvenience. I sleep about 4-6 hours a night and that is enough. I am wondering if I am going about this the right way.

I've spent my adult life and career helping others, and I am really good at telling people what they need to do. I then ignore my own advice when it comes to my own life. The first step was NA. I've had a problem with prescription drug abuse for at least 15 years, but it's only become unmanagable in the last two years. Hydrocodone - got on that at high doses for 6-8 months. I quit that CT and went through that detox pretty easily. I know this is going to be worse.

I would like to know if the taper vs. CT issue really matters. In the end, am I facing the same horror that I would if I simply put them down now? Because if so, I might as well quit so I can get it over with. I do offer the main income support for my partner and I and must work.

I feeling strong right now. I know at the very least I can deal with what I am doing now and resist the urge to take more. That is a step in the right direction. Any helpful comments?

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 24, 2010
Hello everyone---
my goodness SheLiz - I missed your post about stopping -- what courage!  Well done--just hang in there--- am so full of admiration. A little envy too- but I'm nearly there.....  Yesterday was a one and a half--today so far (noon) just one and only just taken it.  Would like to be down to 1 by the weekend but know I have to be cautious -- I can trip myself up and fall badly.  I have slept more - on to the four hours again last night. For me it's the depression - sloshing around in deep thick mud- no energy- and no interest in talking to anyone. The effort is too much.  Haven't been able to do my half mile walk yet. But I will.  Keep posting SheLiz--I'll check more often....I'm right there with you and noting all your symptons and diffs - it is unbelievably helpful for me to know that you have done it and are still so so positive. By the time you post you'll be tram free for at least two days. Wonderful.  Could this be me by next week.  Oh my God I pray I can do it too.
rt365- you are in a great place - keep posting it helps us all.  What was really good for me was writing out a realistic programme and calendar.  Even if you have to speed the taper up at least you have set goals.  Some of the oldies have tapered really quickly while others found the slow taper better.  Withdrawal is horrible and in a way I feel I've been in withdrawal since I started my taper.  I am now at the stage where I may well go cold turkey if I can reach 1x 50mg a day for a couple of days.  Cutting the tabs down further is no longer an option for me yet many people have done this successfully and found the final plunge not nearly so bad.  It seems the first 4 days of a tram free life are tricky but then it's all much much better.  It is a very nasty drug.
Angelmoon Onedaynow and Myfreedom -thanks so much for your kindness and encouragement. As SheLiz says above - I don't think I could be doing this without this amazingly supportive site with such wonderful people.
SheLiz -much in my thoughts -love and strength
lizzy

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 25, 2010
Hi Lizzy and everyone

                I've been away at my mum and dad's since yesterday afternoon so haven't been able to post.  Anyway, in 30 minutes it will be 3 whole days since my last 50mg.  It is pretty awful but I am definitely better in some ways today than I was the first 2 days.  I've decided that to do this I really need to sleep so I have taken a seroquel each night since stopping to help me sleep.  There is no way I want to be awake 24/7 at the moment as each minute of the first couple of days was pretty unbearable - extremely agitated and anxious, horrible RLS through my whole body especially my hips, shoulders, elbows and wrists, stomach cramps, extreme fatigue and very itchy feet and upper back and chest.  Today I am just extremely heavy, exhausted and brain dead.  I am just about to head to bed and have taken 2 Swisse herbal 'Sleep' tablets, 2 panadiene (paracetamol 500/codiene 12) and the Seroquel.  I have had two long sleeps on this the last two nights. I have woken both mornings about 5am but have been able to doze on and off for a few more hours which is a blessing.
               I went and had a Chinese pressure point massage this morning which was so painful at times I thought I would pass out but I am hoping that it at least help my body to get rid of this poison sooner.  I then bought a huge carrot, celery, apple, ginger and beetroot juice and headed home for a 20min rest before having to go out and help my mum on blood bank duty.  I'm afraid I wasn't much help to her but luckily it was an unusually quiet day for blood donors.
              So, right now it's 9pm and bed for me.  The earlier I get to bed the better as I seem to wake in the early hours no matter what time I get to bed.  I am also trying to cut the days as short as possible so they go quicker and this nightmare is over.  Underneath all the fatigue etc I am very happy that I'm doing this and know that I will come out the other end one day soon.  Also looking forward to sleep without seroquel but accept that I will have to take that for a few nights and plan to stop that as soon as the worst is over even if I'm not sleeping that well.  I've rather just allow my body to eventually find it's own pattern once things have settled down to 'normal' again.
              Lizzy - just keep tapering as slow as you need to.  When I had been on 2 x 50mg a day for a few days (can't think how many now) I just felt that it was time to jump.  You will know when you get there when its time to take the next step.
Gotta sleep now  zzzzzz



            

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 25, 2010
Hi everyone
You are doing so well -thank you for posting SheLiz-- hopefully another 24 hours you will notice things are better for you. That is what most folk who have done this seem to be saying.  The 3th day. I didn't think after tapering to 2 you would have such a testing first couple of days- thank goodness you have the sleep aids.  You mention itchy feet--- I notice I have those this last day or so. Am now down to one and a half  or 2 - but can go the 12 hours without one. It's not at all comfortable but I feel I'm nearly there.  Don't feel I can stop yet. I think after the weekend maybe. I have lots of vitamins-B complex plus extra B12, Brewers yeast, magnesium, folate, K2, Inostol, hops, oats, and emergenC fizzy drinks.  There is St John's wort here too but I hope not to need that.  I also have codeine and paracetamol, and a sleeper Zolpidem-which I will definitely hold out on until absolutely essential as it is addictive.
Am jittery today- it all seems so very uphill.  I tired.  I'm tired of not working- yet I don't / cannot work.Days are long.  Got to keep positive. Will look in later.
Well done again SheLiz


Avatar_n_tn
by Debsam26, Nov 25, 2010
Hi, Im on day 2 of W/D, & It is everything that Ive read about !!!!   Im off work till next Thursday, so I hope to feel more like my normal self by then, whatever that is !!!!  Then that will have been 10 days, does this sound about right ? Debsam

1292938_tn?1333276842
by bethwillprevail, Nov 25, 2010
Hello Tram Warriors
Everyone fighting this demon, keep strong and stay with your plan.  It DOES get better- lots better.  I am at day 98 and feel 100% back to being myself.  My energy is back and the depression is gone.  I am even getting to the point where I dont think about trams anymore- I never thought that day would come.  It is a hard journey, but so woth it.  My daughter (who knows nothing of my addiction) who is 27, said to me "Mom, we like you better these days.  You used to be so grouchy and moody."  That was the truth!! Ouch!  But that comment made all my withdrawl pain worth every minute.  

In the US, today is Thanksgiving Day.  I am very thankful for everyone on this journal.  It is due to the support I got here that I made it to freedom from those devil pills and now I have my life back.  It is so very cool that we are from all over the world.  Just read and reread these journals along the way and you will not feel alone.  We have all been where you are now and understand your struggle.  Just stay strong and focused on your goal to be free.  Many times I almost gave up, but came here to read and was encouraged to stay on my plan.

To Emily for starting and maintaining this journal and to all who have walked this rocky road and given us their encouragement...thanks and blessings to you all!!  

Beth



1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 25, 2010
Hi Everyone

                 Well, even after all my sleeping pills and potions I only got 3 hours but it was an ok 3 hours and I'm not feeling too disgusting.  The RLS is driving me nuts and I'd rather be asleep but in general I'm not feeling too bad.  The great thing about this international journal is that you are never the only one awake no matter what time of the day or night it is.
                 I'm having some warm milk and 2 panadiene and will attempt to get back to sleep soon.  

                 Beth - my daughter turned 28 a couple of days ago.  I have lived to regret teaching her the importance of honesty but I can always trust her to tell it like it is ha ha :-)

                 Hi Debsam - I've been trying to put up as much detail as possible of how I'm feeling so that others can relate as that was the most amazing thing for me when I first found this page, I was just so overwhelmed with seeing what I was going through repeated in everyone else's posts.  Did you taper before going CT?

                Lizzy - thanks for reminding me about the fizzy energy drinks.  I need to get some more Lucozade in and I think I'll have some more fresh vegi juice tomorrow as well.  I haven't got much work done and I'm not really trusting my focus at the moment which is not a problem with my normal work but the place I work for has just last night sent me something new to do and it has WAY more responsibility and requires good focus.  I'm hoping to start to have a clearer head over the weekend so I can work on it confidently.  Hang in there Lizzy I am definitely getting the ocassional moment where I feel it is all going to be ok.

               I was thinking yesterday that I want to be Free@50.  I'm turning 50 in March next year and I am going to be anti-depressant/anxiety and painkiller free for the first time in 17 years.  What a great birthday pres to myself :-)

And I've just finally worked out how to show my tracker at the bottom of my post.  I'd better head off to bed now before I get too excited.

                


Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 25, 2010

Hello everyone
SheLiz you sound much better -- hope you are nearly asleep now.  
Today is not good but what can I do--no way can I give up now-- I can't wait to finish this taper now- but am too scared to stop yet.  
Debsam you sound like you are coping with day 2, well done.  If you keep reading SheLiz it would be good as you are neck and neck.  Welcome to the site.  We all need each other.
Thanks Beth - wonderful words to hear- and happy Thanksgiving to you and all american readers.
I'm hanging in SheLiz -  I NEVER want to go through all this again.  Thank you for all you help and support --you have done it so courageously-- I just know you'll be alright and that 50th birthday will be just the best.


1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 25, 2010
Hi All - I had another 4 hours sleep and feel almost normal.  I still have RBodyS and tummy stuff happening but all symptoms are pretty mild at the moment.  I can also feel some level of energy and a bit of clarity in the brain which is just lovely.

Lizzy - I've just gone back over my diary notes and I was on 2 x 50mg a day for 10 days before I decided to go CT.  I think stabilizing on 2 a day for as long as it feels right is a good idea.  

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone over there - as you know we don't have it here Downunder.

Gotta go and wash the dye out of my hair.  I must be feeling ok this is the first time I've coloured my hair in about 4 months and it's desperately been needing it.



599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Nov 25, 2010
Sheliz, try tonic water for the Restless everything syndrome.  It has quinine which used to be prescribed for RLS.  I don't think I was even up to washing my hair on day 4 so you are a trooper.

Debsam, you should definitely see some improvement after 10 days but it depends somewhat on how long you were on the tram.  Sleep & mood are often the slowest to recover but there are things you can take that may help with these.  

Lizzie, you are doing great with your taper.  Unfortunately tramadol withdrawal is non linear but having a bad day or two doesn't mean that you aren't progressing overall.  In the same way that SSRI type drugs can take some time before their effects are experienced, the reverse can happen in withdrawal.

Happy thanksgiving to those celebrating.  Seeing the back of tramadol is a very good reason for a party.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 25, 2010
Thanks Madtram - I'm having a tonic water right now.  My energy for the day is well and truly done so I'm not expecting much else from myself.  The hair HAD to be done today as I have to have my annual photo update for my casting agent tomorrow and there was no way I could get away with how I was looking.

I'm feeling bad that I'm going to have to cancel going to my friend's 50th tomorrow night.  I hate cancelling things but there is no way I'm going to make it.  I just have to accept it as that's the way it is at the moment.  I'm just so sick of having to cancel just about everything I've planned over the last couple of months but know that it won't be like this for ever.

Thinking of you all
SheLiz





1292938_tn?1333276842
by bethwillprevail, Nov 25, 2010
A warm bath really helped me with the RLS.  That got better for me by about 2 weeks, with some occasional reappearance for a month.  I also am still taking the Bcomplex vitamins, which I really believe are helpful. The hardest thing for me was the dark depression and sadness.  It would come and go.  Would think it was gone and it would reappear for a few days, then gone again.  The non-linear path and Madtram talked about in an earlier post.  That is hard to fight through.  I can tell you from my own experience, you just need to stay as busy as you can.  Force yourself to do things.  It felt like torture sometimes, but I did still function.  I worked and did some projects during that time.  I had some trouble concentrating, but actually I did a good job on the things I did.  I swear the effects of the trams is to make you think you can't do stuff without them in your system.  It is not at all true.  I am so much better off this stuff.  Now that I look back I can see it clearly.  It took me 3 1/2 months to get to this point.  I really never thought I could make it off them after taking it for 10 years, but I did.  You can too.  It just takes time to heal your mind and body and change your habits.  Hang in there!!!

Beth

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 26, 2010
It's just passed the 4 day mark and I'm heading to bed now.  I've found that my depression level and mood are much better than they were a few weeks ago when I was unwittingly going through withdrawal so I am happy about that.  Getting sleep every night is a huge bonus and much needed at this time.  I've taken the seroquel and natural Sleep tabs again tonight but no panadeine.  

Beth - I can't believe you were on these horrible things for 10 years, that would've been a huge effort to get off after that amount of time.  I've been taking the high dose VitB and will need to get some more soon.  I have been forcing myself to keep busy without overdoing it too much.  It is hard to keep going when you are so fatigued and some tasks are just beyond me at the moment.  

Hey Lizzy - How are you going?  

Ready for sleep now so not up to writing much
Catch you all in the morning

334144_tn?1324321496
by booba77, Nov 26, 2010
Hey all.  I havent been on here in ages, but Im glad to see Beth and Madtram still n giving out wonderful much needed advice.  I have been tram free for about 5 months and am feeling much better.  For the rls, especially in the middle of the night, I would get up and take a super hot bath with epsom salts, and it really helped me get back to sleep.  Good luck folks.  

1310716_tn?1287786104
by james22778, Nov 26, 2010
hey their long time since i have wrote also but i do read these pages usually daily when i can hope everyone stays strong in the fight for our lives it can only get better hope everyone had a great thanksgiving and a better weekend

Avatar_n_tn
by believe0509, Nov 26, 2010
This question is for SheLiz:  So even when u got down to two 50mg a day for two weeks you still had terrible withdrawals?   This gives me nothing to look forward to.  I am doing a slow taper but had only been on them for a month before I started. I did go through a mild w/d at first but my next two cuts were almost nothing. I have also put more time in between but have a ways to go. Hope your feeling well!!!

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 26, 2010
Hello everyone
SheLiz good to hear the depression is lifting - this is the worst for me--- well done on day four.
The lack of energy is also getting to me-- I do nothing.  Today is a one and a half day- I hope.  It's still only 8pm.  I seem to have felt rotten now for a long time.  I can't see an end yet.  Not the best day.  Maybe better tomorrow.
As James227 says above we have to stay strong in the fight for our lives.
Going to try to sleep early-- just can't concentrate to read or even do TV.
I think tomorrow I may as well go to one 50mg for the next day or so - It can't be much worse than how I feel now.  Anything to hasten this process.
SheLiz - what strength are the panedeine?  

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 26, 2010
Good Morning all

                         I had a great sleep last night although I did take a seroquel but usually even with that the sleep was not great.  I also had a great session and some dry needling (kinda like accupuncture) with my physio (I think they are physical therapists in the US) yesterday.  I've seen her for 3 weeks now and we are really getting somewhere with the upperback and neck problems that I've had for years.  

Believe 0509 - It was only the first 36 hours after CT that I would call terrible and even then it was not as bad as when I was unwittingly going through withdrawl from a higher dose a few months ago.  Everything has gotten progressivley better since then and so far today I would say that I feel normal although I have just woken up from a good 7 hours sleep and have't done anything yet.  Day 2-3 the main problems were fatigue and RLS and yesterday all symptoms were there but mild enough not to be a problem.  I was very tired by halfway through the day but was able to do the things I needed to do :-)  So, you have sooo much to look forward to and I would highly recommend doing the slow taper.  I checked and I was on 2 x 50mg per day for 10 days before I stopped 4.5 days ago.  Believe 0509, what I am feeling today is totally bearable and I'm also feeling a bit hopeful so don't lose heart.

I have found the hot showers, baths and my heat packs have been a great comfort but as we are heading into summer here and our days are already hitting the early 30s C they might not be such a good option soon.  Hopefully by the time summer really hits I won't be needing them as we can get temperatures well into the 40deg C.  We've had days of 46/47 where it is like being in a hot bath that you can't get out of no matter what you try.

I'm having a good day and my head is clear so I'm going to get some work done - luckily I work on my laptop so this can be done in bed :-).

Thanks got your support Booba and James - it is invaluable.



1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Nov 26, 2010
Hi everyone,

Hope all that celebrate Thanksgiving had a great holiday.  Ours was really good - sat by a fire most of the afternoon and had a great meal.

Just want to tell everyone that is really does get better.  You will eventually sleep again and function well again too.  I can't believe I got all the things I needed to get done for the holiday and still had a good time.  I never ever thought I could do this without help from tram.  I can't even believe that was me a few months ago.  I think I said this before, but I can't help but think - who was that person??  Even with all the stresses of everyday life, meeting bills, taking care of family members, I still handle this all SO much better without the chemical help.  Help - definitely not a word that should be associated with tramadol.  It fooled me into thinking it was helping.  Drew me in - told me everything was going to be okay as long as I kept taking it.  And all the while, my entire life was in a major downward spiral and completely falling apart.  G-d bless my husband for putting up with it for so long.  How he did this I'll never know.  But I'm so grateful he held out.

Sheliz, Lizzielang, Believe 0509, I know you are still feeling so frustrated as you continue your taper or CT.  I promise you if you just hang in a little longer, you won't believe how much better you're going to feel.  You will look at that time in your life as just a very bad chapter that needs to be closed.  You won't ever want to go there again I'm sure of that.  And remember, even though you may not see it now, you are all doing SO WELL so keep going!  But I sense each of you is starting to see your "old" selves again in different ways and feeling some pride from that.  And you should be proud of yourselves!  This may be the hardest thing any of us have done in our lives.

Remember, just take it one day at a time.  With each sunset, you have another day under your belt.  And even when you wake from whatever sleep you can put together and still feel bad from your difficult journey, you will know you're one day closer to being free.  Imagine a life where you do not have to rely on ANYTHING except yourself to do things, deal with things, enjoy things as you were meant to.  Just keep going and you'll get there.  You are all such strong and wonderful people, working your way through this horrendous time.  Just keep logging on or reading others posts.  It will keep you motivated to keep going.  You'll see!

:-)  P.S.  Booba77 and Bethwillprevail - so great to hear from you both again and glad to hear you're doing so well.  I remember reading your posts and I was rooting for all of us during those days.  Great job!!!!

1512059_tn?1298300173
by rt35630, Nov 26, 2010
just an update. I went away for Thanksgiving to my partner's family in Nashville. I had some noticable anxiety, but the kicker was a trip to the ER Wednesday night - I had a severe case of conjunctitis (pink eye) flare up and both me and Joe (my honey) were afraid it was related to the w/d. Okay...so thanksgiving day was lovely. We drove the three hour trip home on almost no sleep.

I changed my pill schedule while I was gone. I am not taking one 50mg every 5-6 hours. I am having the same RLS in my lower body (knees what to be stretched on a rack!) but otherwise that is about it. Some anxiety starting in my chest. I have chronic atrial fibrillation so I need to be careful.

Anyway. I know I have not stopped the amount from that first taper last Monday, but who knows. So far I am not mad about anything and feel positive and strong. It would be really nice to be truly  comfortable, but eventually, with creation's help....blessings to everyone.

Avatar_n_tn
by believe0509, Nov 26, 2010
Thank you SheLiz and ImDone-  your heartfelt encouragement goes a long way. This is just so frustrating since I just did a CT from Oxycontin. Now here I am 45 days later addicted to Tramadol. I had no idea it could happen so quickly!!!!  Or that they are worse than real opiates!!!!  I am really so tired of this

Avatar_m_tn
by KSimmonds, Nov 26, 2010
Just found this site and joined as I'm at my wits end with Opiates in particularly Tramdol. Over the years I've had problems with all manner of drugs some legal some not.  I also suffer from Cluster head aches for which I have been prescribed Tramadol, which does help.  Unfortunately about Eight weeks ago I came very close to completely severing my right hand thumb in an industrial accident and was prescribed even more Tramadol as well as Codeine.  This happened after I'd been taking up to 200mg's of Tramadol daily for about a month due to a bout of the blasted head aches I'm cursed with.  So I upped my dose to cope with the pain, to about 400/600mgs of Tramadol daily combined with 100/200mg of Codeine which I have to say worked quite well for a while.  I found myself running out of Tramadol rapidly about two weeks ago due in part to my own over medication.  So I decided to start cutting my dosage rapidly as I'm no longer in any pain, I'm now down to 150mg Tramadol daily and nothing else.  However I've felt dreadful the whole time mainly physiologically but I'm so tired and I ache all over.  I came off Heroin and Methadone about three years agos by going cold Turkey which was the most dreadful experience I've ever had, took two weeks before I could function, ie go to work ect.  I'm now faced with the dilemma of going cold Turkey off Tramadol or trying to wean myself off.  I've got enough tablets to last the weekend at my current dosage, I dread running out as I know what's in store.  I can source a few more tablets from a friend as well as other Opiates but feel the time has come to bite the bullet and stop completely.  I'll let you people know how I get on.

Avatar_n_tn
by believe0509, Nov 26, 2010
Ksimmonds welcome and good for you on getting rid of this poison we are currently ingesting. I to have had the drug issue for many years and I must say..tramadol is the worst and I was on them for only a month. I think if you read through this forum you will feel the same way many of us felt coming off of this crap. Can you tell your DR about this and maybe he/she could put you on a slow taper due to this drug being quite dangerous. It's also better to let them know and then you won't have access to them hence getting off of this roller coaster   Keep posting and reading and know you are not alone.  I am currently tapering down Fromm 400-500mg for only a month, but I'm down to approximate 200-225 within a seven day period. I will have to go slower with more hours in between from here. Try talking to the DR. If you can. Good luck with this and do let us know how your coming along. Lisa

Avatar_m_tn
by KSimmonds, Nov 26, 2010
Hiya Lisa and thanks for the welcome.  I've read through loads of posts on here including all of Emily's original thread, great to find some support and know I'm far from alone.  I've thought about going to the Doc's to get advice but don't really want this on my medical record as I don't want to loose access to Tramadol completely even though I hate the stuff.  It really does help my head aches and the Doc's won't prescribe an alternative Opiate. Bizarrely I only get the head aches during the Autumn so I'm fairly sure I've the best part of a year before I actually need this blasted stuff again.  Opiates are the only treatment that helps in my case, tried all the orthodox migraine medications to no avail.  I've always been fine coming off it in the past as I use it with care (normally) and for relativity short time periods. Not the case this time.  I can take the next couple of weeks off work as I'm self employed (mechanic) and the guy I work with knows the score so to speak. I've only just been able to work for the past couple of weeks anyhow and would rather just get this over and done with, obviously I'm struggling with work due to my hand injury as well.  I kinda know what's in store after my CT three years ago, just hope this won't be worse.  I went 36 hours clear last weekend which was about as bad as I expected, vomiting, restless legs, major depression ect.  I'll keep posting up on here, thanks again for the kind welcome.

Avatar_n_tn
by lexiegirl7175, Nov 26, 2010
Thank you all for this site. Even though I have never taken tram, I have been on hydrocodone for almost 5 years because I had cancer and now they are calling my pain "cronic". The docs wont prescribe any more because of the fear they have of this crappy government we have in the US. So, sent me on my way to fend for myself. I am so scared of WD and even though you all have given me hope that I can live w/o these painkilers, I dont want to because of the extreme pain that I have when I dont take them. Not that one pain is any worse than the next, but, my pain is in my mouth and face and eating, talking etc. is so hard to do when I hurt.  Any suggestions would be welcomed and Thank God for all of you!!

Avatar_m_tn
by KSimmonds, Nov 26, 2010
Jesus, Lexie that's appalling patient management!!!  Did your Doc offer any advice on what you should do to come off Hydocodone?   I've had a friend get hooked on that stuff after a very serious RTA, he had help from his Doc's with tapering off, but still found it extremely difficult.  I've also tried it myself for cluster headaches for which it proved very effective in my case.  No chance of my Doc prescribing too me, I've asked, Tramadol is all they will give me and I hate it.  Though as I've mentioned in my first post it does offer me some relief.   What dosage are you on currently?  Welcome by the way, I've only just joined myself.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 26, 2010
Hello, well, I need someone to tell me im being a wimp. I have been on the tramadol for about 2 years and have never taken more than 4/50mg a day. Although usually I take around 3/50mg a day, but never more than 4. Well, im just moanin and moanin about how these withdrawls are just the end of the world. However, when I read people's stories of taking insane amounts, or what I would consider insane amounts, well, I can understand the hellish withdrawls. I just think im making it out worse than it is. Even though there is no doubt im withdrawing pretty hard.

Avatar_m_tn
by KSimmonds, Nov 26, 2010
Opiate withdrawal is hellish and your not being a wimp. The amount of time you've been on Tramadol makes a difference to how severe the withdrawal symptoms are and they manifest themselves differently from person too person.  There's a particularly nasty psychological side to Tramadol withdrawal as I'm discovering.  Stick with it if you've been cold Turkey for any number of days as it will get better.  

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 26, 2010
Well, people may remember me from last month when I was going through withdrawl because my script didnt come. I was going to taper when it got here, however, even if i drop a little in my dose, I mean just a half a pill, I feel withdrawls. So, ive ran out again , but this time, I didnt order anymore. Even if I ordered now, it would take 7 days to get here. So, now I have no choice. I was laying in bed earlier taking a nap and woke myself up by clawing my chest with both hands!! I mean, I was digging my fingernails into my chest in my sleep!! That crap is evil!! Plus, it never really helped my pain at all. I just kept using it, because I liked the way it made me feel. But then, it stopped making me feel good and started making me feel really really weird.

1512059_tn?1298300173
by rt35630, Nov 26, 2010
Actually - so far my problems have been more of an inconvenience than anything else. I was taking 15-18 pills a day for over a year. I cut 250mg to start with. I have been experimenting with how to take the rest of the journey. Right now I am taking a pill every 4-6 hours and the wd problems have mainly been feeling some anxiety - not a lot - but my body is doing the RLS thing - again, not unbearable, but really noticable. I'm really working on making it 6 hours between pills. I know I am doing the right thing, and I am not planning on making any other drastic cut for this next week. Will try that the week after. I really hate getting myself mixed up like this.

Anyone thinking of tapering I encourage you to just try not to focus on all our individual cases. Each one is different. I was terrifed but this first step is annoying, not horrid. I know I have a road to travel, but for now, it is worth the battle to keep from taking more.

Having a significant other or friend to keep you honest and encourage you really helps. Isolation doesn't. I've been abusing medications for 15 years, some prescribed by personal physicians, some not. Either way I am getting on the wagon ASAP and going to stay there. I am tired of this crap. If you don't absolutely have to take tramadol, don't.

Avatar_n_tn
by believe0509, Nov 26, 2010
Lexigirl.. You need to find a real DR..pronto. I just can't imagine they would not help you. You are not going to feel too well within 24hours and then days 2-4 will be pretty rough but you can do this. Do you have anybody that knows you will be going through this??  You can find more info on this site for the o/c meeds you will need to help you through. The most important being Immodium. Make sure you stay hydrated and lots of hot showers or baths. Most of all try not to beat yourself up over this. By day 6 or 7 most of the physical symptoms should be gone except for lack of energy. You will then have the mental issues to deal with. Are you on ant antidepressants??  If not you can get St Johns Wort at any drug store it will help with the depression. Most of all we r here to help you through. We have all been there and some still are...right where you are.  Hang in n keep posting.

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Nov 26, 2010
Been taking from work for 3 years , no one in my family knows, I'm not making enough money to pay my bills, I can't seem to get into med school , my wife is leaving me for other reasons and we have 2 kids, can't seem to taper down past , 1.5 twice a day, is the only thing that makes me happy thruout my day,and I feel my work will catch me soon, and my career will be over, anyone have any advice on how I can feel good, while finishing tapering off? I've been thinking about quitting work just to get away without completely ruining my life.

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 26, 2010

Oh lovely lovely people -- most of us suffering - but wanted to get better and find some peace.  We are all so helpful to each other.  Even the first posters - it is a difficult thing facing demons and beginning the journey to get your life back.  This is the best place to check in.
My advice to newbies is to take it slowly, but always keep the taper down.  Never go up again.  With each step down -give yourself time to even out - even if it's just a couple of days.  However, some folks seem to be able to do a sudden C/T - I feel enormous admiration for those that do this but this was not the route for me.  
Rt356 -you are doing very well. And Lexigirl- you DO need to find a new doctor just as Believeo509 says above.  You do need to have med back up. Ghostman and Ksimmonds- been reading your posts.  You are both amazing.  Keep posting - even if it means screaming you pain out at this wonderful site. You have no idea how all of your stories help me. I felt so isolated until I found this site.
It's taken me nearly a month to come down from 4x50mg a day to 1 and a half a day.  The next taper down to just 1 tab a day is getting closer.  It's still not easy.  And, yes, I have to say that I have felt 'in withdrawal' most of the month, but for me this is a more gentle w/d than a sudden c/t.
SheLiz - so so proud of you- you are one the road now- thank you for such support.
I still need all your support to prepare to take the plunge into a clean tram-free life.
Thanks everyone-lizzy

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 26, 2010

Sadman
I was taking 2x50mg a day for ages - you can do it if you do it slowly. Maybe extend the hours in between taking.  This is definitely do-able. Read the posts - so many of us have had such a struggle.  I am scared stiff to drop to one-- but I WILL.
Not today - but maybe tomorrow.  Then it's only the jump off left. You can get your life back-- you will really smile from the heart again soon. Sending hope and strength

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 27, 2010
Hi Everyone

                  Some new faces - Ghostman, sadman and Ksimmonds, Lexiegirl and rt35630.  I found this site about 3 weeks ago???  It's a bit hard to tell exactly how long ago as the days are all a bit of a blurr and there have been lots of long, sleepless nights in there.  I'm still amazed at how many of us keep finding this site and wonder how many people are out there having tram trouble and don't have the support we have.  I hope they find us soon.

                  In 10 minutes it will be 5 days :-) and I'm heading to bed very soon so that day 6 can come quickly.  This has been an ok day and I woke up feeling almost normal but started to get tired pretty quickly once I started to do things.  
                I had a good sleep last night with the aid of seroquel but I am going to try sleeping tonight without it.  I've taken 2 of the herbal Blackmore's 'Sleep' tablets and that's it.  My main problems today have been the extreme fatigue and feeling just slightly down but I actually think the down feeling is caused mainly by my frustration at not having the energy to get out and do anything at the moment.  But, I'm confident that it will get better every day and looking forward to an even better day tomorrow.

                 Lizzie you are so close.  I'm sitting here with a happy smile on my face coz it's great to see us all doing so well and beating this evil thing.

I've had my hot shower and it's time to hit the hay.  I might or might not be out to chat again later in the night.

SheLiz

Avatar_n_tn
by lexiegirl7175, Nov 27, 2010
Hi all , I was wondering if anyone had input about antidepressants? I am normally depressed and was on antidepressants until my dear hubby died 2 yrs ago. Sounds crazy that I quit then, but, grief and this hydrocodone made me feel like I didnt need them.I tend to have side effects from any new med, so please advise if anyone can.I was also wondering about the two,( I have a script to prozac 20) mixing.  Bye the way, you go SheLiz!! What an inspiration!! As everyone else

Avatar_f_tn
by Garnetdawn, Nov 27, 2010
Hi everyone. Just wanted to say how much this site has helped me. Knowing you're not alone and that others are going thru the same thing as you DOES make a difference. I am now on day 66 of being free of tramadol and I went ct so it wasn't easy, still isn't sometimes. I've been tempted to go back on them but I'm glad I haven't. I still get terrible mood swings and get really irritable, but I'm just hanging in there. It does get better, but very slowly, and I am not a very patient person right now! Anyway, I hope everyone is ok, and thanks for your support.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Nov 27, 2010
Hi to all the newcomers and to Garnetdawn - I just wanted to tell you that my first post on this forum was back around early October and I was at 67 days.  I was feeling exactly the way you are right now.

I too went c/t and it was the hardest thing I ever did.  I still had terrible mood swings and was extremely irritable, sad and restless.  It was so frustrating because I had been clean for all that time and still felt so bad.

I'm now at 122+ days and doing well.  Had a great holiday and I really felt like the "old" me.  I was able to get all my cooking done before turkey day and actually spent the day with family enjoying myself.  Laughing at things the way I used to.  To see all of it so clearly.  I hadn't been tram-free for over 6 years and barely remember the holidays during those years.  I do, however, remember the holidays I spent when I had no pills (too early to refill) and being in horrible horrible withdrawal, trying to function and look like all was okay, when it was anything but.  I'm sure my extended family wondered what was going on with me.  How could they not have noticed??  I was a mess.

I also had an addiction to Xanax for 12 years (omg) and went through SO many mini-withdrawals through these past years, constantly running out of pills because I was taking SO much more than my prescribed dose.  I remember those days (week) waiting for my refill to be ready.  So awful, so anxious and depressed.  Those days I would pretend to have the "flu" and use that excuse to keep family at bay.  Man, it's exhausting just thinking about it.

But today I woke up clear headed and ready for the weekend.  And I will handle whatever comes my way with a clear mind.  That is all I need for today.

Hang on everyone - it keeps getting better.  It really does!  :-)

1512059_tn?1298300173
by rt35630, Nov 27, 2010
Hey everyone. Managed to sleep last night which was nice. Got to sleep at around 2 a.m. and woke up at almost 7 a.m. I can make it on that!

It has gotten cold again here and we have to go to the family's lakehouse for my mom's Thanksgiving meal. I have a lot of odds & ends to get done and work starts again tomorrow.

Still taking 1-2 50mg tabs every four to six hours except when asleep. I guess I will be doing this for a while - I am a church musician and have a really hectic schedule of rehearsals and performances through Christmas, so I think I will stay on this schedule until the hoo-ha is over for another year.

I too, feel like my body is constantly telling me it is in w/d. But like others have said, it can be very noticable at times but nothing I can't handle. I have found that taking less tram but regularly is better than my first few days of trying to mimic the handfuls (5 tabs) I would take in the morning and then cut the other two times in the day. The w/d symptoms had gotten particularly bad at night when I need them to be less!

Okay...painting the smile on my face to face my family. It will be fine once we arrive! Hugs to all! Keep moving forward. I have not been to an NA meeting since last Tuesday. Will do that tonight if I have the strength left.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 27, 2010
Hi

    I got one hour sleep and have been up reading for a while.  It's almost 4am and I have got some warm milk and heading back to try to get another couple of hours.  At least it's Sunday tomorrow so I don't really have to achieve anything.

See you all 2moro


Avatar_m_tn
by KSimmonds, Nov 27, 2010
Afternoon everyone, not having too bad a day today.  Took 100mg's slow release last night at Six PM, spent the evening feeling just about okay.  Got to sleep finally at about 4 AM and woke at 11 AM with the onset of heavy withdrawals.  Had another 100mg's and started to feel sort of okay after a couple of hours.  Two weeks in and I kinda feel I'm levelling out on 150/200mg split into two doses daily. My ex-girlfriend moved out yesterday which is a great weight off my mind, we decided the relationship wasn't working and parted amicably. Also means I have the house to myself to go CT, my family who live near by know about my problem and are very supportive . Found another Six 100mg tablets hiding in my car which buys me another few days before running out.  I have no intention of getting more and I'd be surprised if the Doc would give me any, unless I was honest and said I had I problem.  I've counted back and in the last three months I've been prescribed 100 100mg slow release tablets three time's and 100 50mg normal release once.   As well as 200 30/500 Codeine/Paracetamol.  Not good!!!!  This evening I'm going to leave it as late as I can before I take another dose, hopping stretch out the time in between as much as I can.

Lexie - . I'm prescribed Citalopram, I start it on it Three years ago at 40mg daily when I went CT.  I have too say I think it probably helped keep me clean, half the reason I've had such problems with drugs over the years is down to the fact I suffer from long term depression which took me a lot of time to face up to.  I'd tapered that down too 10mg every other day but in the past couple of weeks gone back up to 10mg daily as I feel so horrid.  Restarting your Prozac Prescription would 'probably' be a good idea but as you should know it won't have any real effect for at least a couple of weeks if not a month.  I think you need to find another Doc ASAP and seek proper advice, coming off Hydrocodone is going to be tough.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 27, 2010
Im day 2 cold turkey. Last night was total hell!!! Today is total hell. But I stop for a minute and realize, this is the only way and its not going to kill me. I dont knock anyone for tappering, but im such a drug addict, I found it impossible. Id rather spend 7-10 days in total misery, than to taper and drag it out. Thats just me. I feel like if I take any at all, im just stretching out the process. Either way, this is pretty rough.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 27, 2010
You know, I have to say, my orthopedic surgeon told me about these trams. I wanted him to prescribe it to me and he said "no". I had told him before that I was a recovering addict. So, I told him that tramadol was not a narcotic and it was safe. He looked at me over his glasses and his exact words were "oh yes, it is a narcotic and it is extremely addictive. I said " but ive had several doctors tell me it wasn't narcotic or addictive. Again, he looked over his glasses and said "believe me, it is a narcotic, it's just synthetic and it is very addictive and very hard to get off of". So, he wasn't buying my little spill so i could get some more. I wish more doctors were like him!!!

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 27, 2010
One and a half again today.  More difficult as my son has been with me. I think he's aware all is not quite right..  It's late and I feel I wont sleep---aaah....  
My daughter also intends to come for Sunday.  Just have to be on relatively good form.  I wish this was all over.
Am impressed with all the newcomers.  There are a lot of us.  
SheLiz- hopefully you are sleeping and getting stronger and stronger. You continue to inspire and amaze me.
Not much to say tonight--but watching all the posts.
Sending good thoughts out to all of you. Will look in later.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 27, 2010
Hi Ghostman and everyone

                  I had to laugh at the picture of your orthopedic surgeon peering at you over his glasses.  Funny, but there should be more like that.  It was my neurosurgeon that prescribed Tram for me after writing a nasty letter to my other neurosurgeon because he had put me on Norspan patches.  I was on the patches for over a year but found them easy to get off in comparison to Trams.

                 I managed one hour sleep last night then went back to bed at 8am and got another 2hrs.  Luckily I don't need to achieve too much today but I do want to get out and half a bit of a walk when it eventually stops raining.

                 Feeling ok so far today (Day 5 and 1/2).   Just heavy, tired body,  vague RLS, all the usual stuff but symptoms are all slight and totally bearable (apart from the fatigue which is annoying to say the least :-)

                  A hot shower now.  

                



1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 27, 2010
  Yes, sheliz, he peered at me:) Sleep? whats that?;) Actually, for some reason, im able to sleep a couple of hours at a time, it's getting to sleep thats the hard part. I remember I kicked these things for three months onetime, I dont know what possessed me to take them again. When I had withdrawls last time, I remember day 6 and 7 was really the total end of the physical withdrawl, then days 10- 15, I returned to normal. I remember how happy I was and how I felt like I had accomplished so much. But I specifically remember kicking the habit for a week at a time. What would start me back was, each time I stopped, day 1-3 was terrible. Then day 4, it was like all of my symptoms had disappeared, I couldnt believe it!! I thought it was over, but no, day 5 the symptoms returned full force, I couldnt believe that either!! It discouraged me so much, that I started taking them again. But when I went the 3 months, it was the same, but I decided to stick it out and see what happened. Well, it was exactly the same, 1-3 really bad, day 4 most symptoms gone, then day 5 they returned. Well, this time, as I went into day 6 I noticed it was subsiding again. Day 7 was so so. Day 8 I was a almost different person. Like I said, by day 10, I was completely free of the physical symptoms. By day 15, I felt like myself {somewhat again}. It really did take an entire month before the curtain completely lifted.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 27, 2010
I also remember going off Trams for a little while over a years ago but I can't remember why I stopped them.  I was on the Norpsan patches at the time so that probably saved me a bit and if I did have any w/d symptoms I probably would've put it down to something else at the time.  I've only just put 2 and 2 together in the last few weeks and worked out that out of all the meds I take it is actually the Tram that was causing all the problems with no real benefits at all.

Looking forward to day 10 :-) or whatever day it takes to feel normal.


1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 27, 2010
Dont let the whole "it takes a month before the curtain lifts" discourage anyone. That's just how long it took that time for me to feel absolutely no effects from the tramadol. However, by the time I hit day 8, it was positive and upward from then on. It was like every minute I felt better. I even felt better than I did before I became addicted, because I felt like I had defeated them, I felt liberated.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 27, 2010
Hi Lizzy

            I just read your latest post.  I didn't see it earlier as it looks like we posted at the same time and I missed it. I had a rotten sleep last night so having a very 'heavy' day today.  I tried to sleep without taking a seroquel last night but it didn't really work.  I don't want to take them every night at the moment even though my specialist says its fine (that's what they said about trams).  I got one hour then I was awake for about 7 hours before getting another 2 this morning.  

           So I'm feeling very tired and useless today but know a lot of that it due to lack of sleep.  I'll hopefully get a better night tonight and have a better day tomorrow.  I did get about 3 hours of work done in the middle of the night so it wasn't a complete waste.  

           I'm only 6hrs away from the 6 day mark :-)  

          

Avatar_n_tn
by believe0509, Nov 27, 2010
Hello to everyone. I didn't do to well on my taper today. I think I had gone down to quickly and I just could not take the pain today. I only went up .25mg but still a disappointment. Oh well back on schedule tomorrow.

Lizzy,  glad to see your sticking to your taper but not glad that your feeling that awful familiar feeling of what do I do next..how do I talk to people again.  I'm sure your children are just thinking maybe your just having an off day. Good luck with your daughter coming over. Just try n have a laugh or two.

SheLiz..sorry to see your night was so bad. Unfortunately as we know it goes with the program. We know it will get better one night at a time.

Ghostman..you are so blessed to be where you are right. My heart is smiling for you right now. Everyday just gets brighter with a few clouds in between.

Avatar_f_tn
by LivingnPresent, Nov 28, 2010
Hello Tram Warriors:   I have such mixed feelings checking in out here...sad that there are so many caught in the throes of tramadol addiction...Glad that this site is here to help everyone start and stay on their journey of healing... It has been a very long time since i checked in...but gratefully I am 208 days I believe now since my last Tram...I can tell you all..for absolute certainty that this group is the primary reason I was willing to start the withdrawal lprocess.  I did the taper..for me it was a better solution.  My top use was maybe 6-7  50mg trams a day..maybe for some this does not sound like a lot..for me it was - as I was starting to have some disturbing symptoms....AND increased tram use did not help...bottom line,, the Tramadol stopped working..even though i was taking higher doses.  With all my doc's now..I note that I am allergic to Tramadol..so that I do not ever get it prescribed again.  One of the very best things for me that has happened is that I have my mind back...LOL.   Seriously ..my thinking is very clear..My ability to relate and engage with others is night and day from my old tram days.  I would not trade my worst non-tram day for the best tram day...EVER....  has it been easy...absolutely not...it is worth it??   YES!!  i know that it is hard in early days ..it is incredibly discouraging..i felt like i wanted to crawl in bed and stay there...no energy..depressed...personally i started drinking more alcohol as a sub for the removed Tram..Gratefully I have up the alcohol 150 days ago...  My best advice is to stay connected to the folks out here..the support...is phenomenal..the advice is awesome..just knowing that you are not alone is a huge part of the recovery process. if you are so inclined, 12 step programs (in my experience)  are very helpful...staying distracted with other things...considering  the suggestions from others out here who have walked this walk..so important.  To all my old and dear friends out here.  I miss you all so much...Due to the economy..I've been a road warrior..back to back travel for months now.  The miracle is that for 4-5 years I would not/could not consider traveling without the Tramadol..it gave me the energy i needed and just kept me going like the energizer bunny..BUT ..the folks on the other end of my travels were not getting the "real deal"  the real Pat...yes..i'll evevn use the word "ZOMBIE"...in a toned down sort of way.  I know that you users know what im talking about.   Today..i am present for my life...i can suit up and show up without the help of the nasty "T"...and this is the best gift ever I am giving to me..but also to my family and friends.  
So..to all out here..please hang in..stay out here and post away...because you do not know how much your posts can touch others wherever they are at.  and give them the courage to come out here and talk about what is happeneing.  That is exactly what happened to me.  Once I cam out here..some 10 months or so ago...and told my story..the support I got was phenomenal... Again to all my dearest friends out here who helped lift me out of the darkness...I hope and pray that you all are doing ok...my thoughts and prayers are with you all.  To all the relative newcomers..welcome ..this is a safe safe place to hang and let it all out.  
and lastly to our sweet angel Emily...I love you to the moon and back..and I am forever grateful to you for pioneering this site.
Love, Peace, and wishes for strength & courage to continue the fight.
Pat


Avatar_n_tn
by believe0509, Nov 28, 2010
Sorry..looks like posting my tapering schedule was a no-no. You should talk with your DR about this

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 28, 2010

Isn't it incredible when someone like Livingpresent posts up their thoughts.  Thanks so very much - it is so encouraging.  How long it takes to feel better and to get a life seems to be different for everyone.  I guess a lot depends on how long we have been using drugs unwisely.  Everyone does seem to agree that the wait is so worth it. Your post Pat is so useful and heartwarming.
Today has been difficult.  I've had to play a role- I'm very tired and suppertime is still to come with two of my four children.  I have been on one 50mg and a half for two days - but today it went up to 2x50mg.  I just couldn't keep up with the pace of the weekend.  I feel hugely disappointed but it's not the end of the world, I'll go back to one and a half as soon as possible.  Felt I had to write it and be upfront.
Maybe more later.
Good wishes out to all of you - what a place this site is!!

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 28, 2010
Hello, day 3 cold turkey. Man, what a rough night last night. I didnt sleep one wink. Fell asleep around 8 this morning and woke up around 10:30, so it was atleast 2 hours. But its not real sleep, its just really weird. Im looking at my face in the mirror and I look like hell on one hand, but strangely, I look like my face is changing. In otherwords, my face was so sunken in from taking those things for so long. I was a very healthy man before this; I weighed 180lbs and was very muscular. I lost almost 40 lbs in 2 years. I look like walking death. You can tell people look at you and friends have asked over and over whats the matter with me. Now, just after 3 days of not taking it, my face has filled in some. I know that sounds crazy being so short on time, but it's definitly true. My stomach is killing me. It amazes me, that just stopping something does this. However, ive felt the worst of it. Even though it may last a few more days, sweet Jesus, im almost there. Im going to be so happy, I dont even know who I am anymore. But I do remember that im a really good person and I want that back. Every second of this misery is worth it.

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Nov 28, 2010
Ghostman - you are a miracle-- you've nearly done it- in fact you have done it--- SO full of admiration --You are so very positive.  That's what it is.  Well done

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 29, 2010
Hi All

     I've been having a very slow day due to feeling extremely heavy and tired all day.  I did force myself to get out and have a walk and eventually got myself into Chinatown for a big bowl of wonton noodle soup.  I never get really hungry lately but I am eating a lot mainly trying to keep up the energy levels and also to keep myself occupied - all that tram wight loss might soon be reversed I'm afraid.  After noodles I caught the tram to the gardens and went for a slow walk stopping to sit or lay down at just about every seat I came across.  I felt really disconnected from everything around me and it was a huge effort but I feel better that I made the effort to at least venture into the outside world for a bit.  I hope to be able to join it as a real person again one day soon. I got home and had 2hr nap on the couch which is more than I get at night.  

    So, I feel like I have achieved heaps for the day and will be happy to take it easy for the rest of it.  

    Livingpresent (Pat) and Garnetdawn- thanks for your post as it has added to my resolve to get as far away from tram as possible.

    Hoping the rest of you Lizzie, Ghostman, Believe, rt 35630, Lexiegirl, KSimm and others are all sleeping peacefully now and knowing we are all doing well and heading in the right direction.  To all of you thanks for being here with me.  I cannot

    

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 29, 2010
imagine how much worse this would be if we had no-one to tell us (from real experience) that we WILL come out better at the other end.

It's now 3 1/2 hours away from the 7 day mark.  That's a whole week :-)  Maybe soon I will starting talking in days rather than hours then weeks rather than days.  

Thanks everyone :-)

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 29, 2010
Well, ive had 2 hours sleep in the last 3 days and im so spaced out I dont think I could drive my car to the store right now. It's 4:30 in the morning right now and I just got back up out of bed after trying to go to sleep for almost 5 hours. I finally just gave up and got up. Im going into day 4 cold turkey. I started feeling like some of the symptoms were leaving me yesterday evening and thought I would finally sleep tonight. However, that didnt happen. As soon as I lay down, there goes my body twitching and that skin crawling feeling, plus my whole body is really hot feeling. Now, when I did get that sleep yesterday morning, I did it by drinking coffee. I know that sounds completely insane, but for some reason, coffee helps with the twitching. I live in Atlanta, Georgia, USA by the way. What happens is, I drink the coffee, then I get the coffee crash, which allows me to pass out for a couple of hours. Yes, if this site wasnt here id lose my mind. Day will break into day 4 here in a few. Im so grateful im not on day one anymore, or day 2 for that matter. There is a feeling of improvment, which means im coming out of the worst part. Now it's just ups and downs for a few more days. It's the lose of sleep that spacing me out now.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 29, 2010
Yes, sheliz, theres absolutely no doubt about it that we come out on the otherside. We've just got be willing to do what it takes. 7 days...you are serious almost out of the woods. What ive found out about these tramadol withdrawls in the past is, you go from having so-so days to good days, then all of a sudden, it's over, or atleast to the point that you actually feel like yourself a bit. Day 7 is a miracle!!!

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 29, 2010
Good Morning Ghostman

                     Yep, I'm just past the 7 day mark. It was a long day due to extreme fatigue but I actually had a few moments of clarity and calm at about 9.30 this evening (around about exactly the 7 day mark :-)  It was a good feeling and a nice glimpse at the future.  

                     Now it's 12.20am and I've given up on sleep happening.  I tried: nice warm shower, a little gentle yoga, warm milk then in bed to read my self to sleep.  I gave it 2 hours now I give up.  There really doesn't seem to be too many symptoms to be keeping me awake, I think my mind and body have just completely forgotten how to sleep.  The main annoying thing at the moment is the Restless shoulder/shoulder blade area.

                    I am very happy to have reached Day 7 and going into day 8.  I hope Day 4 is good to you.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 29, 2010
Yes sheliz, I just got up from another attempted sleep. It's really unbelievable, but I havent been asleep since that 2 hours I got yesterday morning. But it wasn't what I would call sleep. I went out and came to for a brief period. There is just no way I can sleep jerking around like that. However, now that im up and moving around, I can tell there is an improvement. Not enough to where im going to attempt to sleep, cause it just isn't happening. Ive actually started having visual and auditory hallucinations here and there { colors trailing and hearing people talk} I actually got up earlier just to see if there was someone else in the house!! Thats really creepy, but it just from sleep deprivation. I know that soon it will be better. Every second,minute,hour of misery is worth it to me, because I know that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Congratulations on 7 days!!!

Avatar_f_tn
by angelmoon, Nov 29, 2010
Hi everyone....after reading through the latest posts...so happy for all of you that have started to have small glimpses  of clarity.  It is hard to explain and convey to anyone who is is the midst of early withdrawal. It is an amazing feeling...a feeling like starting to wake from a bad dream.  I am so happy to hear the moments are starting to come.  Keep going. Blessings to all of you.

I also felt I looked different from the very start of dumping the poison.  Others who didn't know anything would say...you look better...there is something different about you.  I have been seeing a structural integrationist for about nine years.  In the midst of my addiction she noticed.  She said...your energy is different, there is a sort of a push back..not good.  After surviving withdrawals and seeing her again, she noticed the change immediately.  She told me my energy was more pure...that my body felt like it was opening up again.  I had a weird sort of bloat feeling too. That went away in the first days of stopping completely.  I did tell her then and then she said it made perfect sense.  Toxic, toxic, toxic.

Congratulations to all of you.  For stopping the trams and for the intent of stopping.  Its the right path.  Much love, strength and prayers

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 29, 2010
Can the 'Oldies' out there please tell me when they started to get some sleep again.  I had an 8hr sleep in August and another one in early November but apart from that it's still 2-3 hrs a night.  Brain very fried now and the lack of sleep really can't be helping the recovery process.

1512059_tn?1298300173
by rt35630, Nov 29, 2010
I'm with you She! I'm early in my taper and the sleeping problems were the first thing to come, and I guess the last to go. However disgusted you get with the process of getting back to normal, each day now is another day clean. Cling to that and try to stay positive. I still have quite a bit of energy in reserve, so I guess I don't have any business commenting, but I am happy for you and envious too. You have cleared a really high hurtle in your run. I wish I could go to the NA meeting and say "clean." But someday! Peace be with you. -Randy

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Nov 29, 2010
Hi Sheliz,

I know exactly what you're going through.  The lack of sleep is debilitating.  It really really got to me in the beginning.  I couldn't stand not sleeping!!!!  And I'm here to tell you that yes, your sleep will come back.  I don't know how soon, as it seems to be different for all of us.  But it does return.  And I can tell you that in the beginning, after 2 maybe 3 days of no sleep, my body would finally just shut down, albeit for maybe 3-5 hours at a time, sometimes less.  But it was such a relief to get ANY sleep in those days, so even that short amount of time in the beginning would make a huge difference.

Not sure what time it is for you right now and if going to the store is even an option for you tonight, but melatonin worked WONDERS for me.  Seriously.  And I was someone who had tried ALL of the OTC sleep aids with no luck.  But not with the melatonin.  I would take (2) 10 mg tablets about 30/45 mins. before I wanted to get to sleep, and it helped SO much.  It really was remarkable how much it helped.

I still take it from time to time if I'm having trouble falling asleep, but thank g-d that's rare these days.  And the lack of sleep will be rare for you one day too.  All I can say is just keep going.  And take the sleep wherever you can get it, especially in the beginning.  If you can't sleep at night, then get up, and read, or do anything except lay in bed trying to force yourself to sleep.  And if that means you have to stay up all night, then so be it.  Just wait it out and try getting some sleep during the next day instead.  In other words, don't try to force yourself into a "regular" sleep pattern right now as that just doesn't seem to work in early withdrawal.  I would just sleep whenever I could, whether that was at 7 a.m., 1 p.m., 8 p.m., or 2 a.m. (whenever!!) and just accept that you may be up again during the night.  I guess what I'm trying to say is don't fight it - let your body tell you what it needs and keep your head out of it!!  I know that sounds strange and you're probably thinking "easier said than done", but I know of no other way to deal with it except to go with the flow and let your body take over.  Yes it was weird for a while, with my days/nights completely upside down, but you just do whatever it takes during this time to get the rest you need.  Don't give yourself any impossible to reach expectations now.  It just makes everything, and I mean everything, all that much harder.  Resisting ANYTHING in early withdrawal with only accelerate your symptoms.

You're doing all the right things now by meditating, yoga, and the warm milk.  And one other tip I can give you is to eat a banana before bedtime, along with some crackers and peanut butter.  The potassium in the banana will help with that awful RLS and the peanut butter and milk helps promote sleep.  And I would also just lay down and put myself in "rest" mode, with eyes closed and lights low, low TV, music, or just plain white noise.  Even though you're not actually sleeping, your body is still getting some benefit from this "rest" mode.

I wish I could make it better for you right now I really do.  But you're getting there even though it may not feel like it right now.  Lack of sleep really messes with your head, I know.  But hang on and keep going.  Thank g-d for Emily starting this forum for without her lighting the way, I never would have made it.  I know coming onto this site is the reason I finally got past all of this awfulness.  And you will too.  I know it!

Hope this helps.  :-)

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Nov 29, 2010
I feel for you SheLiz.  It was the insomnia that complicated my recovery.  Towards the end of taking tram, I was also on zopiclone for the insomnia they thought was chronic fatigue syndrome.  When I quit both drugs, I tried every known remedy for the insomnia, CBT, meditation, all of the OTC meds & nothing worked at all.  All the sleep specialists say that the worst thing to do is to worry about not sleeping as this makes it worse but I found acceptance of this state of being very challenging most of the time.

The good news is that this too will pass.  It seems to be one of the longest persisting withdrawal symptoms so the odds are good that once sleep returns you will be completely recovered.  My experience was that there was nothing I could do to force it to come more quickly but others have reported success with melatonin, valerian or an antihistamine.  It's interesting that I tried buckets of valerian and the max dose of antihistamine at the time & concluded that neither worked for me.   However, since being dropped on the hormonal roller coaster of mid life, I have found that valerian works a treat & if I take half a dose of antihistamine for my sinus, it knocks me out in no time.

It seems that tramadol rewires the brain & until the circuits have returned to pre-tram state, all bets are off.  If the seroquel enables you to get some sleep, I would be inclined to use if for at least another couple of weeks until the tram has definitely left the building.

I'm Done's suggestion is a purer way to go, if you do have the flexibility of being able to sleep whenever the opportunity arises.  It may take another week or two before you notice any improvement though.

Best to all.

Avatar_n_tn
by gunitbot6, Nov 29, 2010
MADTRAM

How long did it take for you to sleeping around 5-6 hours a night for a stretch of time?

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Nov 29, 2010
I don't think I'm a good test case because I was also coming off prescription sleep meds.  My problem was always falling asleep, once asleep, I never had problems with just short stretches.  It seemed to go from not being able to sleep to falling asleep normally, there was no half way stage for me.

If you go back on Emily's journal a year or so, you will find posts by Finally Fred, who also kept his own journal of his progress including sleep.   It may take longer for normal sleep to return for the long term users.  I developed insomnia while I was still on tramadol, having never had sleep problems before the drug or once it was out of my system.

The total joy of no longer dreading bed time & once again taking sleep for granted is almost worth the wait, (not).  I do want to reassure you all though that full recovery is just around the corner & if you can manage not to be too focussed on precisely when it will happen, all the better.  (If you do manage this, you will be better Zen masters than me).

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Nov 30, 2010
Thanks to I'mDone, Madtram, Gunitbot & everyone for their words of advice and support in response to my scream for sleep.  In times of extreme frustration I suppose I'm just checking again that what's happening is normal for the situation.

I've always wished that there were more hours in the day so I could do more but now I have heaps more hours I have no life in me to do anything with them.  

Madtram - I really relate to the dreading bed time comment.  I really HATE my bed at the moment and just see it as the place that I go to spend many long, agonising hours - the complete opposite of what it's meant to be.  My insomnia started way before I started to taper and it took me a while to work out that it was Tram related.  Tram most definitely does rewire the brain.

I'mDone - I have been taking Swisse 'Sleep' but really haven't seen any benefit from it so I took your advice and went out and got some Melatonin today so I will be trying that for sure tonight. Oh and I stocked up on the peanut butter as well. I've stopped trying to keep myself busy during the day and have managed an afternoon nap today.  Even knowing you have dosed off for a few minutes makes you feel like you are still capable of functioning as a human being again.

Randy - Hope your taper is going as smoothly as possible.
Lizzie - how are you after the otehr day with your kids?  Please don't let my sleep frustration put you off - there's not a minute of this where I don't feel I'm doing the right thing.  In fact the worse I feel the more I KNOW I'm doing the right thing.  If Tram can make us feel like this for so long after stopping it what is it doing to us while we are still taking to it.  Get rid of the evil stuff asap, Lizzie.

It'll be 8 days in 1 1/2 hrs :-)  Thanks everyone for helping me get this far.  

Avatar_f_tn
by muchforgiven, Nov 30, 2010
SheLiz,Bravo for your perserverance. I get so much comfort from your posts even though I am not even close to finally letting go of these awful pills. I have had the realization lately of how bad I feel taking this drug, hard to believe it could be much worse but I'm sure it can and will be. Right now I am praying for motivation and strength. I didn't do so well over Thanksgiving, I ran out of my prescription and I did what I said I would never do, I ordered a dose online. I stilll caan't believe I did that. I feel almost no emotion about it and that is very scary to me. Right now, I feel like I will never get off these devil pills. Enough of my pity party. I applaud all  of you warriors who are moving forward. I get renewed strength when i read your posts. Right now I am back up to 4 50mg. tabs. a day. My hope is i will stabilize again and begin to taper slowly again.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 30, 2010
I can't believe im typing this...day 5 cold turkey!!! Sheliz, last night I thought I was going to sleep,because I was feeling a little better while being awake. I was really really tired and I got about 3 hours last night. Once I stopped thinking about it, and just kinda accepted that sleep will have to come when it comes, it made my mind atleast relax a little. Im still very tired, however, I have made it 5 days and im so stoked about that, I just laugh about the insomnia. Although, im probably laughing because the lack of sleep has made me spaced out beyond belief. Im actually sitting here and just happy because the worst of the withdrawls are over. I mean, im still having withdrawl, but its nowhere near as bad as those first days. I cannot believe that ive made it 5 days completely free from those pills. Your a trooper sheliz and everyone else on this site. We are true warriors. I went to sleep at around midnight and woke up with the usual twitching and kicking, but it's noticibly better than it was. Man, it feels good to start seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Im spaced out, but it's definitly worth it.

1411102_tn?1284984252
by ladylisa109, Nov 30, 2010
I just wanted to encourage everyone about the sleep issues.  I am currently 113 days off of Tram and I sleep anywhere from 6-8 hrs. a night.  I can't give you the exact day sleep started to get back to normal because it was more of a progressive thing for me.  After about 2 weeks I started get a little more sleep each night with the occassional "bad" night thrown in there.  I took melatonin (6mg) each night for about a month to help me fall asleep and still take it now from time to time if after I go to bed I am not asleep within a hour.  I also still have to take something for RLS a few nights a week since that will definately disrupt my sleep.  As far as my RLS goes I don't think it is still left over from WDing from Tramadol because I had problems with it even before I started Tram. due to my Fibromyalsia.  Just keep in mind the more you stress about the sleep the more it will seem to ellude you.  That was the hardest thing for me after the intial WDs was shutting my brain off at night so I could fall asleep.  It seemed that once my brain was no longer in a fog from the Tramadol it was extra alert and going a mile a minute lol.  Keep in mind it sleep wont return all of a sudden at a specific number of days but with come back to you gradually.  Keep up the fight everyone it really and truly does get better and it is SO worth it to no longer have that poison in you anymore.  Take care and everyone here is in my thoughts and prayers.  Blessings, Lisa

Avatar_f_tn
by dede2121, Nov 30, 2010
lisa, i have been reading your posts and they have been encouraging to me. 113 days is a long time congratulations to you. i hope that one day i will have 113 days. i am on day 3. i was hoping to feel a little better today. i am just very tired.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 30, 2010
dede...day 3 is a miracle!!! Please stick it out, im on day 5 and believe me, I know how you feel. One thing is for certain, when you get just a few more, you'll see a definite improvement. Im still withdrawling, however, ive been to come out of the woods. Theres still more to go, but after 3 or 4 days, that horrible gut wrenching withdrawl starts to subside. Just keep it up. Like ive said before, every second of every minute of every hour has been worth it. And what ive been through over these last 5 days, thats saying a whole lot!!!

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Nov 30, 2010
Hi everyone.   I have been reading these threads for a few weeks now.   I am on Tramadol for chronic pain and have been for 3 years now.   Like all of you, the medication turned on me.   It was great at first, the energy was phenomenal -- I felt like a new person.   Now I'm just sick and tired, and I refuse to increase my dosage.   I was up to about 8 - 50 mg tabs/day, regularly.   I'm down to 3 1/2 tabs/day now, but haven't started having many withdrawal symptoms yet.   I am doing this very slowly.   I have withdrawn from it before, without really knowing it.  Sounds hard to believe, I know.   But I was told Tramadol was not addictive.   So when I quit for a couple of months, and I had cold sweats, insomnia, etc. I didn't put it together.   I had been having hormonal issues, so I figured it was part of that.   Now I think that the Tramadol actually brought on those hormonal issues in the first place.   I even went to the doctor for a script for Ambien because I suddenly couldn't sleep.  

I consider these threads priceless, and a real lifeline, no matter what stages of withdrawal you are in.   I remember reading a post several pages back from someone who said that they kept reading the threads, searching for some magic words that would help make them want to quit.   That is precisely where I was when I started reading.   I have since read many of those magic words, and I always seem to find some more for whatever tram. related issue I may be having.  

Right now, I feel torn.   I'm not spending a lot of money on these, as they are covered by my insurance, and I don't go above my prescribed dose, so no need get them online or anything. I really just want my energy back!   I don't want to feel bloated and tired and unmotivated.  This is what scares me.   I'm afraid that I will be so lethargic once I quit that I will want to go back, thinking that once its not built up in my system, I can take it again and it will have the same effects as when I first started taking it.   Even though I know, deep down, I would end up at the same place I am today (probably very quickly) -- feeling bad every single day with no end in sight, but to keep taking more and more.   Its just not worth it.

So, my plan is to cut down by about 1/4 - 1/2 pill every few days or so, and to try to stretch out the time between taking pills as much as possible.   I think that the first morning dose, and the last evening dose will be the hardest to give up in the end.   Sometimes I have been skipping my noon dose, and not even noticing it until around 4 or 5.   I think that will be the first one to go.   I have a hard time not taking it before bed, because i wake up tossing and turning, restless legs, anxiety, etc. like you all have described.  

Anyway, I made a little chart -- very simple, but very helpful at keeping track of my dosage when withdrawing.   I wish I could attach it here, but not sure how.   Keeping track while I am withdrawing has been very helpful.

I'm sure you will all be hearing from me as I continue through this journey.   Just wanted to thank you all for the support you have given--it has been a lifeline.



Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Nov 30, 2010
Hey muchforgiven, I'm with you, I'm 1.5 2x/ day, after falling off, sometimes with the way my life is I feel I will always find a reason, but I keep trying, no one knows about this and I carry guilt bc of it, but I know my life will be better, life needs balance, I've been high for 3 years now its time to hurt a little in order to heal, a friend who came out on top with another addiction, told me this and it has become my mantra, "nothing changes without change".

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Nov 30, 2010
...last message to you too lettuce.

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Nov 30, 2010
Melitonin has helped me a lot that's good advice. I've been getting bad cold sweats recently, every night. Any advice?  And sheliz and ghostman, you are inspiring, thank you, at what dose did you go ct?


Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Nov 30, 2010
Actually just found urs sheliz, that's amazing!! Truly gives me hope yet scares me at the same time!

Avatar_f_tn
by 4leefclover, Nov 30, 2010
Hello Warriors All
I have not posted for many months but have been 'lurking' for the past few days and you have HELPED save me from a relapse thank you thank you thank you. I stopped tram last feb but did dabbled two pills twice and it felt really really good... I kept thinking....like lettuce said so eloquently above about all the 'good' things...the energy, the appetite suppression, yada. yada...but then I read the posts from you all.......thank you......REALITY
TRAMADOL OWNED ME.......and it really su@ked .....I guess part of being an addict is forgetting the bad and having that glow man...when I took those two and had that 'feeling' I wanted it and had the illusion I could just have that feeling non stop all day long every day out into the future....tramadol lies like that...my mind likes to follow it down that 'rabbit hole' ---part of the addiction...for me.....thank you for helping me see the truth
my problem? I got a prescription for darvocet for pain and have taken it the last 10 days.....have I been on line looking for tramadol to order? yes.......but I am not going to do it now
I wrote an e mail to a friend and told her the truth about all of this and am meeting her tomorrow for support
and am telling you for support here
thank you for being here all this time for helping me-- before
and for helping me again
STAY STRONG
all is well
you are loved



1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 30, 2010
Sandman, I was at 4/50 a day for 2 years. I went cold turkey 5 days ago. It was hell and im still feeling weird. But I definitly feel better than I did and it's all worth it. Every last second is worth it. 4leafclover, it's almost like your telling my story exactly. I had stopped onetime for a little over 3 months and was completely clear from it. Then, I took 2 thinking it wouldnt hurt. Next thing I know, I was right back where I started. Let me take that back, it was like i had been taking them the whole time and It was worse this second time around. Please for the love of God, turn around an run as fast as you can. See, as a fellow addict, I can say that we use these and other things to change the way we feel. Either we're feeling depressed,sad,happy,tired...whatever it is. Ive found that addicts just dont like to have "real" feelings. Thats just been my experience. Of course, I would never call someone an addict, only each person can say that for themselves. But yes, for some reason, I have built in forgetter. I forget the misery and hell that I went through and pick back up. So, places like this save us from ourselves. Please, Please, Please, dont take that stuff again. Ive found that these ibuprofren 800's took my pain away and has absolutely no addictive side effects. I mean, this Ibuprofren really works great for even serious pain. But I found that it really wasnt the pain I was trying to get rid of, as much as it was me just wanting have that "feel good" all day and night. I wouldn't wish Tramadol addiction, or any other addiction on my worst enemy.

1512059_tn?1298300173
by rt35630, Nov 30, 2010
Hi all - just checking in. I've been building a tracker. I haven't gone to an NA meeting since before Thanksgiving, but I have been pretty good with my taper. I increased my intake by a pill a day, and Sunday (I am an organist for two churches) I cheated a little and took 5 pills in the morning rather than three, but I really need to feel "like myself" on Sunday. It made the detox a little worse that afternoon when I went back to two pills at a time. Nothing horrid. I am not having diarrea or anything yet, and symptoms have moderated from the first couple of days so time coming to cut back to 10/day. I will take a week of feeling better before I start. Sleeping a little better, but today I felt a little antsy at work. I don't multi-task well and felt really discombobulated. Peace to all of you. -Randy

Avatar_f_tn
by 4leefclover, Nov 30, 2010
Ghostman-thanks. great job on 5 days. glad you feel better, even if weird. good to be off the 'little whites'   i appreciate your encouragement and support. much needed. I cannot tell you how much of my brain activity has been taken up by thinking about various ways to obtain drug (there are many things to 'work around' ie people to deceive) so it is not straightforward
I am relieved I made a decision to stop now and get help     thanks

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Nov 30, 2010
Sheliz and ghostman , and anyone else that recently cut ct, do you work now? If so how is affecting your work? Did you need to take time off? How do you get thru the day at work with w/d?
4leefclover, you wrote 'people to deceive', that hits home, I take from my work- I carry so much guilt its consuming, I guess that's common.

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Nov 30, 2010
Great decision 4leef.  Protect your investment in tramadol free body cells.  You know the price that tramadol charges for those illusions of pleasure.  Cancer causes loss of appetite but who would contemplate that trade off.

Have you tried any of the OTC stuff to boost mood, (tyrosine & yerba mate for energy; 5htp; st John's wort; magnesium; b12 for mood).  All are of course more subtle in their effects than opiates but that's probably why our bodies are better equipped to deal with them.

Our opiate receptors have not evolved to be blocked all the time & will inevitably lose their sensitivity to the blocking substance.  Go back there now & you risk more rebound pain & still higher doses to get any effect.

I don't mean to pick on you, I just hate to see someone even thinking of making a deal with the tramadol devil after all the hard work of getting free.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Nov 30, 2010
Sadman, yes, I am an electrician. However, I took vacation days to make the thanksgiving holiday be longer. But it wasnt planned for the Tramadol withdrawl. However, it worked out great. Now, when I did withdrawl before, I had to work through it. It was horrible. The job I have is extremely physically demanding and I was a walking turtle!! I was working in the ceiling of a building we were wiring, and I just layed there in the corner. I have a high enough position where they never came looking for me. However, they did ask why nothing was done. I told them I was sick, so they gave me 2 days off. If work can be avoided, do so. If not, just try to get through the best you can. In fact, actually doing something makes it go by faster. By the way, if your not from the United States and dont know, Thanksgiving is a holiday we have to celabrate when we came to this land and stole it from the native americans. Bad humor, yes. True, yes. :)

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Nov 30, 2010
I'll be working through my withdrawal.   I work in a busy office and I have no idea how i am going to do it.  I am really worried about how I will deal with my moodiness.  My boss has a very . . . trying personality to begin with.   On a good day, he tries my patience.   I can't imagine what will go down when I'm in the heat of withdrawal, and angry and sweaty.  But, ya know, I read here that someone said that even on the tramadol, they felt like they were in semi-withdrawal all the time--like their body was craving an increase in dosage.   I know the feeling -- hot/cold flashes, sweating, irritable.  

Anyway, I seem to be stable right now.   I'm gonna try to drop 1/2 pill, which will mean I'm down to three.   I've been thinking a lot about just jumping soon...  I still haven't decided.   since I still have to work, I am afraid to go too quickly.  But I'm beginning to think that since i'm just dragging out the agony with this slow taper.   What do you all think?

and 4leef, i am not to that point yet, but i am really, really afraid of being drawn back in once I quit.   I plan to remind myself that its just not worth it.   Yes, it might give me some energy.   Yes, it might help me get my house cleaned up, yes it might help me get through this, that, or the other, but I can't take it forever.   My ankles are swelling, my stomach feels just not right, i am surely damaging my liver.   yet my bloodwork, which I have to have done regularly for a blood pressure medication I am on, always comes back good.   It's sick, but sometimes I wish the doctor would say "whoaa, your levels are wayyy high."   Maybe I would be scared straight.  



1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 01, 2010
Hi Sandman - I am lucky enough to work online from home and I'm sooo grateful for that right now.  I only work casually as well so that helps.  At the moment I really don't feel up to doing much and most of my work is getting done in the middle of the night to stop me from going insane with the insomnia.  If I had a 'real' job I would definitely have had to take time off due to the extreme fatigue with the w/d.

I have been able to nap on the couch on and off today so that's been nice.  Even a 2 minute nap is a blessing.  It's just 4hrs away from the 9 day mark :-)

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 01, 2010
Hey 4leef - glad you came back to the site to remind yourself how evil Tram is - you KNOW you never want to go through this again.  
Lettuce - I did a slow taper down to 2 x 50mg a day and stayed there for about 10 days.  I was trying to work out how to taper from there but it is a bit difficult as we only get 50mg capsules here and it would've been too messy trying to take smaller doses.  I was also feeling pretty awful anyway so decided just to jump and get it over with rather than drag it out for more weeks than necessary.
Ghostman - I can relate to the idea of you curled up in the corner at work.  It makes me shudder to think of having to go out to a job and actually achieve somthing at the moment.  

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 01, 2010
Well, amazingly, i think im going to be able to sleep tonight. Im not twitching at all anymore!!! The only problemis, I laid down about an hour ago and just dropped right off into a deep coma. That sounds like it's a good thing, however, I think my brain is so tired, that I dropped off too quick and immediatly went into sleep paralysis. I was having this strange dream that I was in a doctors office sitting on a spinning stool, then I fell backwards and started spinnning real fast. I was paralyzed in my sleep and started dreaming I had spiders biting me on the back. I know thats disturbing, but, thats what happened. I woke up and now, im just reading this and typing, so I can get tired again. The good news is, im pretty sure im going to sleep. It will be day 6 here in a few hours and im not withdrawling physically anymore. I am so happy. Now, if I had to work in the morning, id be really worried. but I can just let it come when it does and just sleep as long as my brain will allow. Sheliz, you aare doing wonderful!! I mean, i feel like we've been right there tromping through together and ive drawn off your strength, I thank you very much for being here!!

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 01, 2010
Thank you for all your insights! I wish I was where you were, you guys have come far!

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang44, Dec 01, 2010
Hello hello everybody....reading all the new posts....... have had computer problems  (aaagh) Felt so cut off.  You are all doing so so well --SheLiz and ghostman especially.
I am still on 2 caps a day.  Not at all happy -yet too fearful to jump off yet.  
See if I can post this
lizzy  

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 01, 2010
Hi Lizzie

             Good to see you back, I was missing you :-)

             I've just this minute hit the 9 Day mark!!!!!!  I actually think that there has been a bit of an improvement today.  I was tired as usual but was calm enough to be able to have a couple of shorts naps on the couch which have helped.  I got the urge to go out for a walk earlier and did about 20mins without feeling like I was forcing myself to keep going.  It's now 9.30pm and I'm feeling almost OK.  I might even get some sleep tonight. I'll be taking my melatonin about 10.30 and see how it goes.  
    
             I hope you are sleeping Ghostman.

             Does anyone else have problems with a tight jaw? I'm noticing mine is tighter than normal.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 01, 2010
Good morning (or evening to some of our members?) everyone,

Sheliz I also noticed a tight jaw feeling when I was withdrawing.  I thought I had TMJ or something, it was really weird.  I think its the stress our bodies are under when recovering that brings on this feeling.  Course, I'm not a doctor, so I don't really know.  But it did go away after a few weeks.

I'm now at 125+ days.  And now it's time for me to get back to work.  I have been unemployed since my Mom died and collecting unemployment.  I'm scared and excited about going back to work.  I just started submitting my resume again so we'll see what happens.  I know it's going to be tough for a while because I feel so out of touch with the working world.  But I can't let myself get too scared to keep trying.  I used to be an exec asst for a huge fast paced company and when I think back of all the things I accomplished at that job, I can't believe that was me.  I guess in a lot of ways it wasn't me, I was taking so much xanax and tram at the time and constantly going thru mini-withdrawals.  Some days I was SO on top of my game, other days I looked like I was dying.  I can remember some of the looks I received from my co-workers when I was working without chemical help (which was constantly as I was always running out of meds and waiting on my next refill).  So surreal now.  And frightening to think what they must of thought of me at the time.  But I'm sure a lot of this is in my head.  I mean, everyone has their own life to deal with, why would they bother thinking about what was wrong with me?  But I'm so afraid now that I could do the job only because of the chemical help.  That really scares me that I won't be able to perform the way I used to without it.  Boy this stuff messed with my head SO much.

Well, please wish me luck.  The jobs are so scarce right now.  I never used to have a problem getting the interviews before and I know because of the current job market, it won't be like that again.  Now I don't know how things will go this time around.  I'm nervous, but I have to be strong and remain hopeful.  I mean, what's my choice, right?

Hope you all continue to do well - I'm so proud of all of us for coming so far and trying so hard.  It truly is the toughest battle many of us will ever face.

:-)

Avatar_n_tn
by Jimmyswe, Dec 01, 2010

To ImDONE

I started a company with two others in 2003(sales company), and got hooked on painkillers in 07/08. When I think back, of course I remember the days when I was "high" on the meds, and the pace at work.
But in the years 03-07, I remember I was much more steady at work, and just more reflected  at the end of the day, thinking what could I do better, or different, and got back the next day a little wiser, so to speak. 04-07 I was at the top of my game, thats for sure.
I think everyone going thru what we are, are coming through wiser and tougher on the other side.

Why shouldn`t we?

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 01, 2010
Well, i did sleep last night some. Day 6 cold turkey!!! It was still a weird sleep, but it was sleep none the less. Got out and about today and realized that my physical symptoms aren't completely gone. However, I do feel a great deal better. Mainly, im just sluggish and irritable. Man, it sure is looking a whole lot better. I dont wish to complain, because it's just so much better than those first days. I mean, those days were the hardest. The thing is, you definitly feel when it starts to lift. Im very grateful to be clean 6 days!!!

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 01, 2010
I got some sleep as well but it was not without help.  I actually felt kinda normal with barely noticable RBS so I just took some melatonin and went to bed about 11pm.  I definitely felt more 'calm' going to bed that I have done in months but after 2 hours I gave up and took a seroquel and was asleep from about 2am til 7.30 which was a nice long sleep.  I'm still feeling tired, lacking energy and slight RBS but OK apar from that.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 01, 2010
Yes, I was taking melatonin in the begining, but it made it worse, because it made me really tired, but I still couldnt sleep. My sleep is still very strange. Today, was kinda worse than yesterday  as far the symptoms returning. However, i remember it being that way before. Except instead of the good day being on the 4th day, then the return of symptoms on the 5th day. It was the symptoms being good on the 5th day, then returning on the 6th day. They wasnt really intense, but I was just in a funk all day. Sluggish, irritable and this weird fuzzy feeling. However, its starting to go away again, so im at the end of it. Also, ive always been a big coffee drinker. It was helping me crash a littl ein the begining, but now it just gives me anxiety. Its like the coffee brings out more symptoms.

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 01, 2010
I know this is probably not a good idea , but I'm curious, does anyone know if taking other opiates to control withdrawal hinder my tram taper? Ie buprenorphine (suboxone)?

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 01, 2010
Hi ghostman and Sheliz and everyone.
You two are definitely being challenged in these early days  - I had hoped that you SheLiz would be feeling a lot better.  It does seem to take a while to get sleep back to normal.
Muchforgiven- I was on 4x50mg at the beginning of November.  I am still taking 2x50mg- though I did drop to 1 and a half for a few days last week. I feel stable at 2 just now and will stay with it.  I simply cannot take the heroic step yet. My next move may be to drop to one a day, then one every other day.  See how that feels. I feel sad and tired most of the time - want my life back but cannot take the extreme anxiety of withdrawal with people around. I may stall the plunge until after xmas when I have about 10 days to myself.  Not sure.  I know I am delaying the inevitable- and in a way making the w/d longer. Fear is paralysis. Courage seems thin at this time.
Welcome lettuce303---I relate to much of what you have said. It IS the toughest battle I've had to face I'mDONEnomore!
You are doing so well SheLiz and Ghostman- I can only admire you and send you strength. Keep posting everyone - it helps so very much

1292938_tn?1333276842
by bethwillprevail, Dec 01, 2010
Hi Tram Warriors!!

It really DOES get better- all of it.  I am on day 104 and doing very well now.  But there were many days I thought I would never feel good again.  The dark sadness is gone.  That was the hardest thing for me- a huge struggle.  I am sleeping good most nights.  No more RLS.  My energy is back now.  I thought I would never be able to type these things!  So please just hang on and wait it out.  You will feel better, but we all heal at different rates and have different struggles with the withdrawl.  The tricky thing about the tram withdrawl is that you may have a good day and then you are disappointed because it may be followed by a bad day.  It can make you feel like giving up, but just realize that with every bad period, you will get to an even better place when you get through the bad spell.  Your body must adjust chemically- it just takes time.

I was on trams for 10 years.  It became a way of life for me.  I did a fast taper over 5 days- which worked for me- I just was so angry at what the pills were doing to me and the terrible hold they had on me I felt I had to just get it over with.  Be mad at what they are doing to your life.  The anger at the pills can motivate you to stay on track.

I worked some during the first 2 weeks of withdrawl, but it was hard.  I helped to have something to try to think about rather than how horrible I felt- lol.  By day 5- I thought I might possibly live through it, but felt very sad and weird,  day 14 was another step up- feeling not as weird- still no energy, then just past day 33 I began to really have good days not just hours, and then my energy came back to close to normal about day 70 or so.

You all- ghostman, sheliz, lizzielang, sadman, lettuce- are doing great and you can make it too!!  Just being here on this journal means you want to be free!  Keep posting and reading.  This place and the people here can help you make it to freedom from the bondage of these horrible pills.

Keep up the fight!!  Be strong!!
Love and Gods peace to all,
Beth

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 01, 2010
Yes, one thing is for absolute certain. Not ontime during this whole thing have I even considered taking another one of those things. I mean, the desire to take those, left me before I even stopped doing them. See, right now, I feel pretty good. I just woke up from a deep sleep. For some reason, the restless legs and arms and all of that has been completely gone. I mean, when I lay down, I dont have any of those symptoms anymore. Now its just the lack of energy. However, I only mention it, so that others that are going through it, dont feel alone. There is just no way I could complain. Yes, it does get discouraging if you dont know about the up days and down days. One day, its like it all over. The next day, you wake up and its cloudy all day. If you look at the big picture, It gets better and better no matter what. I have found that if i sit around and think about it all the time, it makes it worse. Those Tramadol have some sort of anti-depressant properties in them and thats why when you get off them, you have such extreme ups and downs. Day 6 is coming to an end and I cant believe I made it this far. I remember day 1 and how I couldnt imagine being at day 3, now im going into day 7!!! In the famous words of a beatles song " It's getting better all the time".

Avatar_f_tn
by LeaAnn807, Dec 01, 2010
Hi!  I'm 9 months clean today!  Life is much better.....not perfect every day but WAY better!  Just wanted to check in and say a big hello and congrats to everyone, no matter where you are in your battle with tram!!!!!!! : )



1395853_tn?1280355113
by MyFreedom, Dec 01, 2010
Good evening everyone ~

Beth!! I'm so happy for you! 104 days is awesome!! Congrats, girlfriend! :)

To those in the midst of early withdrawal ~ Yes, it really will get better. Albeit it slow...painfully slow at times, but it WILL get better. You all will soon be counting days and weeks rather than every hour. The bad spells will begin to get shorter and you will have good days more frequently. It will continue this way for sometime until finally the good days/weeks outnumber the bad ones by far. Just go with it and remember all the agony and frustration...keep it fresh in your mind and carry it with you....it will help you to stay away from tram. I totally agree with Beth, the anger for tram is important. Before I finally stopped, I was scared...scared of withdrawal. Once I decided to no longer be afraid, but rather angry, I was on the right road. Only then did I decide that I was ready to stop.

To those going through a taper ~ After my failed CT attempt years ago, I knew that the only way I could do it was through a loooooong slow taper (close to 5 months after using tram for over 7 years). The taper was terribly frustrating at times, but I knew that I wasn't strong enough to do a CT again. I wanted off tram badly, but didn't want to go CT again and risk being so uncomfortable that I would start taking them again.....so I began my long taper (had doc's approval). I stretched my taper out over a long period of time in order to minimize the WD effects...which frankly, worked rather well. I went all the way down to a 1/4 of a 50mg tab every 12 hours before stopping. I expected a crash once I stopped, but I never really had any acute WD. Most of my WD came during my taper, but to a lesser degree than it would've been with a fast taper or CT. The things I did experience once I stopped was the lack of energy, diarrhea about once a week for a couple of months and bouts of sleep issues...which were kinda random mostly. I did, of course, experience some of this during the taper, but it was tolerable since I went so slowly. I totally admire those that are strong enough to go CT, I wish I could have, but we each have to find our own way to freedom....as long as we definitely find a way it doesn't matter how we get there.

Whether you are in WD or are tapering.... Keep your mind occupied. Keep your anger for tram always present. Keep yourself focused on the end result. It will come. One of the things that seemed to help me get through some rough days was music. I kept my ipod full of my favorite songs. There were a couple of songs that seemed to "fit" the situation during all this for me and every time I would hear them, I felt my resolve getting stronger. Look up the lyrics for Linkin Park's "What I've Done" and Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten". Both had new meaning to me once I was on my mission to be free from tramadol. Maybe it sounds silly to some, but they would help me get through the day at times. Find yourself a song and let it be your motto, too!

I am now 250+ days tram free (a little over 8 months) and I couldn't be happier. Do I wish I'd never taken a tramadol in the first place? Sure....but I've come so far now. I think I am a different person because of it...I've learned so much about myself and what I am capable of.

Keep up the fight and stay strong!
Much love and strength to you all!!
:)

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 02, 2010

Hello everyone
Do hope SheLiz is or has been sleeping more peacefully. It is surely now time for a big improvement-- you hang in there SheLiz - you have done so well.   Ghostman - Ive been watching your posts from the beginning- amazing - and now you say it's 'getting better all the time'.  What a journey you've taken. Wonderful.
I'm particularly grateful this morning (7am in England) for Myfreedom's post above.  I've been disappointed in myself not to have pushed the tapering down faster.  I know it is not for me - not that route.  I was so pleased to hear how myfreedom had done it - and I think this is the way I want to go too.  I'm still on 2 a day but the gap between them is naturally widening without much effort from me. Perhaps the drop to one wont be so difficult.
Everyone out there - thank you for your support.  Just seeing your thoughts and feelings written is an incredible inspiration, especially the continuing wisdom from the 'oldies' - the ones who have really done it. To keep coming back to encourage us strugglers is so generous.

Avatar_n_tn
by Jimmyswe, Dec 02, 2010
Sadman

I started a taper, a rapid one, dropped from 6-7 to 4 x 50mg. After two VERY bad days  I switchted to codeine since the last two-three years thats been mainly my doc. (For the last few months before this, I`ve taken Tramadol only.) Tapered codeine for two weeks, then as Myfreedom says it perfectly, my fear turned into anger, and I went ct.
Im on day 6 now, and not one of these days have been as bad as those two very bad days first mentioned.

The thing that turned my fear into anger I think, was reading a post here(I`ve read A LOT), describing how with each pill you take, or relapse, those devil pills just slides its hooks into you a little deeper..

I did all this with approval from my doctor.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 02, 2010
Hi All

         Just a quick check in now and I'll write more later.  I've just passed the 10 day mark.  Yay, double figures!!!!!!  And it really has been the best day so far.  I have been tired all day but no heavy fatigue. I went out this morning, had a massage, went to a Japanese cafe for bento lunch then a littel walk home.  I managed a nap on the couch this afternoon and I went out, yes OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! :-) this evening to meet some friends for a couple of hours.  Then I did a slow walk home and now I'm very nicely tired and will start heading towards my bed to see if I can get something that resembles a normal sleep.  I'm just so happy that I have had more energy today and have been able to get out of the house without having to force myself that i really don't care if I sleep or not.

        So, Day 10 and things really are starting to improve so it really does work :-)  Now, after more activity in one day than I've had in weeks I'm going to lay down and have a wel earned rest.  

Talk to you all again later



        

1523142_tn?1291286813
by NocturnalHusk, Dec 02, 2010
    Emilypost, I just want to tell you how grateful I am for your posts. You helped me get through Thanksgiving weekend!!! (My weekend off from work started thurs through sun and this was when I decided to kick Trams) But I will admit I had NO IDEA THE HELL I WOULD FACE!! I thought... "Two days and I should be good!" That's how long a friend of mine told me it took him...Wrong!!! Not sure how long he took them or how he may have supplemented with other actual opiates. With me were talking maybe 4 or 5 years of use so midway through the first night of leg cramps, twitchy muscles, crawly itchy skin, back pain (which was my original problem... but now add...) leg, knee, and feet pain/ache I was tormented and could not believe I could not even find peace in sleep so I came downstairs to fire up the computer and get educated (on tramadol withdrawl obviously not run-on sentences) I couldn't believe the horror stories. I broke down and took 1 and a half to sleep, but then cursed myself the next day for delaying the process.
   Somehow the stories I read strengthened my resolve. Next night I was up all night praying that God would deliver me from the addiction the way He had my Father with alcoholism... no luck. I think God knows what each of us need and what our bottom is, He knows I'm a hard learner and it couldn't be easy for me or I might go right back or try something different. I decided I would just fight through it.
    Day 6 now and finally told my wife what was going on the other day. She is proud of me and her support helps, however I did blow up on her over something stupid yesterday. I knew I could make it a few nights of fighting the WDs and I know I will continue to fight but I will tell you what I was not prepared for... INSOMNIA!!! I have never EVER EVER in my LIFE had trouble sleeping. I could fall asleep on the ground in a busy subway station (with the risk of waking very sticky) if I had so chosen... not anymore... ironic that I used to give her advice on falling asleep. Well I just wanted to thank you Emily, you as well as the other posters are helping people, real people who are hurting and I pray God unloads a multitude of blessings on you for it.

Didn't read all the posts (there are SO MANY) anyone having itchy skin problems? I have tried Tylenol PM (MUCH WORSE Beware! Oh and if you already took a motion sickness pill for Nausea you could come close to tripping and having an opposite effect of drowsiness... found out the hard way) And then I thought maybe the dry winter weather and used moisturizing lotion... helped the first night... not tonight. Is this Psychological? Or is it a part of the RLS (that has me stretching out every 2 minutes)

Sorry for my long post (first one and all >=P) staying positive and will be praying for you all.... Husk

1523142_tn?1291286813
by NocturnalHusk, Dec 02, 2010
rt35630 Hey I'm gonna be "tracking" you bro. You can do it man, I read your first post and you were saying something about "Taper vs CT" and how you might as well not delay the process. Well that is how I felt at first too only I went the CT route. I'm only on day 6 but I just was hoping I could encourage you (I used to be a praise and worship leader, maybe that is why your posts are tugging at me) ... I hope I can say without making anyone mad, because from what I have read so far everyone has to go their own way with this, but if you were thinking that you could do it CT just to get it over with before you had really committed, YOU STILL CAN. I know I would NEVER have the willpower to taper, you may be different but I would lie to myself to keep using. Your last post scared me a little... 5 pills to feel normal?!!! Bro I know how bad I want to "feel normal" but I got this still, small voice in my head reminding me that my life on tramadol was NEVER normal. I DO know what you meant  though... I don't even know how I'm going to feel after I get through this fire, so please don't think I am judging, but I know there is someone in this oven with me... and you! I also know that I have been called to a purpose, I can't do that depending on something besides God (and His Spirit) for my mood (which is really what scared me into this step, realizing I was a cloudy-headed-walkingdead-pain-filled corpes in the morning before my tramadol and even then... never "normal" until my second dose... now were looking at 6:00 in the day before "normal" hits.... and not "good" until my third dose)
      I love you rt35630 and I am rooting for you, this is normal... "Romans 3:22 (NLT) - "We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ"  Ps 48 As your name deserves, O God, you will be praised to the ends of the earth. Your strong right hand is filled with VICTORY!!!.
      It ***** dude, I'm figuring this out quick, but If you think you might slip backwards just join me on a CT jump into the furnace! LOL!!! However you do this man, I, along with everyone here has your back. I'll keep checking this "Letters from hell" page for updates.

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 02, 2010
Dropped down to 1.25 twice a day yesterday, feeling cruddy but committed, a month ago I was near here and cheated with buprenex, but ended up giving in.  But now these low number taper steps are so miserable I feel more committed and angry at myself and this drug for taking me here, cold sweats, constant headache and body ache, but got some sleep with Melitonin, planning on dropping to 1 twice a day tomorrow AM. Don't give in anyone, I feel purified through through this hurt.

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 02, 2010
You'll be joining me sadman if you drop to 1 twice a day.  
Hearing all the different ways folks have got to a tram-free life is interesting.  It is an insidious drug and I suspect it's the anti depressive bit of it that causes all the stress.  Playing around with serotonin levels can't be good.  I know with me - that for well on a year I do not know what it's like to be even moodwise.  I swing from up to down all the time.  I dislike making any commitment with anyone in case I'm on a low or anxious mood.  My life is not my own -- it is a tram life.  I want free - but so so scared of heavy w/d.  Hence my slow slow taper.  But I will get there.
Well done SheLiz on day10. Ghostman - hope all is good with you too.
Let me know how you get on with the 1 twice a day sadman
lizzy

Avatar_f_tn
by angelmoon, Dec 02, 2010
Sadman....I so related to the statement that you've been purified through this hurt.  I understand exactly that.  I was able to really work through some stuff if this raw place.  The walls were definitely all stripped away during this experience and I had to face down some issues.  I had the heart of a warrior before the withdrawals were over and it has strengthened me in a profound way.  I was really forced to be a friend to myself and to totally surrender to the hand of God.

keep going and blessings to all of you. Much love prayers and strength

Avatar_f_tn
by 4leefclover, Dec 02, 2010
Hello warriors all
whether CT or weaning ---- I have been posting and lurking...failing and succeeding in my battle with tramadol addiction on this post for soooo long...have read so much and seen so much heroic struggle here....it is easy for me to see that each persons journey through the minefield of withdrawal is a personal affair....the support here is amazing and I am always in awe of the power in it  
what do I know about the biochemistry of tramadol?
it is a synthetic opoid with a molecule attached that is very similar to the antidepressant Effexor which adds to the pain relief component of the drug
and also complicates the withdrawal pattern for some people
so we are NOT just withdrawing from an opiate here but also from an antidepressant
this combo drove me NUTS in
w/d
you are all so very wonderful
keep posting here
I believe in you

  

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 02, 2010
7 days cold turkey today!!! Ive been able to sleep , but for some reason, ive just been torturing myself by staying awake. Today the withdrawl is much, much less than it was. Im still fuzzy headed and slugish, but i feel 100 times better than I did. For those afraid of jumping off, I completely understand. Im an honest person and im not going to lie and say it's a bed of roses. However, I didnt taper at all. I tried to do that and I started withdrawling, even after just dropping like 1 pill. So, I figured, if im going to withdrawl no matter what, I may aswell go cold turkey. My thoughts were "its not going to kill me". Well, if I were dead I couldnt type this message, so I was right. It was next to impossible for me to taper, because of my addictive personality. If I took one, I had to take the 4 a day. So, I went from 4 a day to nothing and withdrew hard for a 5 days, then it suddenly lifted out of that hardcore withdrawl, to a fuzzy headed feeling. I had been able to sleep, but now im just staying awake for whos knows why. Im about to lay down and sleep. Also, I had lost a lot of weight during my pill taking career. As soon as i stopped taking them, I started eating like a freight train. Ive gained 5 lbs in just a week. Thats really good because I was looking like walking death. Please keep it up and if you have to taper, then continue to do it and stick to it. However, my personal advice is to just jump off. Its hell for a week, but then it lifts. For me, the taper was dragging it out. But like I said before, I dont knock anyone for tapering, it was just my experience that it made it worse for me.

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 02, 2010
I'm going to taper down to 1 BID starting tonight, down from 1.25 BID, but I'm feeling good about it and ready to be done, the pain doesn't scare me as much as the idea of dragging this longer than I have to.  I find strength in thinking of tram as a living thing that wants me to fail, and it has filled me with rage and determination to win, Good luck to you all.

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 02, 2010
Good luck to you angelmoon, this is such a great place to find and know you are not alone, I carried this for 3 years told no one, yet it was such a significant part of my life, yet no one knew then one day I find this, and I can finally unload, its amazing!

Avatar_f_tn
by natthecat507, Dec 03, 2010
Hello everyone.  I just realized I was addicted to Tramadol four days ago when I ran out.  I didn't think that I had a physical dependence because it had only been a month and an average of 3 pills a day.  The withdrawals were terrible.  I missed most of my classes and didn't speak to any of my roommates for 3 days.  Finally got more today and am starting with a slow taper.  I didn't think you could experience such intense withdrawals from such a low dosage, but I guess I know now, and I want nothing to do with this crap anymore.  Has anyone else had success with the slow taper? I'm a 20 yr old college student going through finals and I can't afford to be miserable, or I'll never get anything done, but I don't want to continue shoving tramadol down my throat to get through the days.  I want to be able to taper off enough to not experience any withdrawal symptoms whatsoever.  Has anyone else been able to achieve that successfully? Need advice!

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 03, 2010
Hi Everyone

                 I feel like it's been forever since I was last on the site but it's only 21hrs since my last post.  I've just been catching up with everyone's news and there's too much to comment on but you all seem to be doing great.  The reason I've been away from my computer is that I have been out of the house a bit more YAY!!!! and Sleeping more often, an even bigger YAY!!!!!!!!!!  I had a 7hr sleep last night (only with the aid of Seroquel) and then I just fell asleep unaided a 4pm this afternoon and had a solid 3hrs.  

                Symptoms at the moment are just general tiredness (no longer the horrible, evil, heavy fatigue) and vague restlessness in my left shoulder and hip.  I am getting around and doing a bit more but taking it easy as I do get tired easily.  This is so much more than I was able to do for the first 9 days so I'm very happy about where I am at the moment.

Natthecat507 - it's great that you've worked out what tramadol is doing and you've found this site so early.  I found it a few weeks ago during another sleepless night desperate to find out what was happening to me.  There are lots of members of this site who have done and others who are in the middle of the slow taper so you will get heaps of good advice.  I can't tell you exactly whats right for you but would suggest that you take as little as possible while still being able to cope with your finals at the moment.  How long have you got til they are over?  Whatever amount you are taking try to keep it regular too to stop from going into constant w/d.  Then after finals you can either taper further or take the c/t jump.  I tapered over about 2 months from 6-8 x 50mg per day to 2 x 50mg a day.  I stayed there for 10 days then went CT 11 days ago.  The first 8 days were pretty awful but I've had a pretty good couple of days now so there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel.  Having this site to read and write to has been a huge support so hang in here and you will have all the support you need and more.  I couldn't have done it without the rest of my TramBuddies out there :-)



Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 03, 2010
Hello all tramaphobes
SUCH good news SheLiz- that at last you are sleeping and have a better energy. You and ghost are doing so well.
Natthecat507 - like SheLiz I am tapering but have not been able to take the leap from 1x50mg twice a day.  I just freak out with the anxiety and lack of energy and feel a complete zombie.  Yesterday I did one at 6am- and one at 7pm - nearly 13 hours' gap.  The next one this morning was at 10am which was a gap of 15 hours. Today I am trying to go with one a day, whilst giving myself permission to have a half -ie 25mg-if the going gets too tough. I'm really hoping that I can do the entire day on just this one.  For me it's best to go a day at a time.  Reading the posts of people who have tapered - I think it's necessary to have at least a week clear of commitments, when you finally stop.  
If I look back over the last month- I have to admit that I have been in constant withdrawal albeit mild.  I had hoped and still do - that with very small steps down, I would avoid the sleepless nights that ghostman and SheLiz have experienced.  It is not very helpful for me just now that I am snowed in and will be for a couple more days.I need energy just to survive right now. Vehicles cannot get down to me, so I have to walk a lot if I need stuff.  I live off road in the UK.  It is also not the best time of the year with xmas coming, given the usual family expectations, to choose the finish date around now.  So - I intend to find some stability  (great word) at one tab every 15/16 hours for a while- maybe even up to xmas is over- then take the plunge.  It would be wonderful to be entirely free for new year.  If I go slow, really slow - I think I may be able to do this.
Narthecat- this is my way.  If you read back you will see that many many people have done a cold turkey with great success. It seems the first week is problematic, but with you having only been on tramadol a short time, I suspect your withdrawal may be easier.  Perhaps taper to two for a few days then one, then plunge.  If your exams are close - it may be wiser to leave it till they are over.  Whatever you decide - it will be right for you. Keep checking in to this amazing site. The best help is here. It is also a good idea to get your doctor on board with you- if you rate him/her.
Some of the most inspiring posts have come from the people who still check in -even though they have beaten the addiction. Bethwillprevail and Angelmoon  and Myfreedom write often.  I always like to see 4leefclover as, like me, she or he, has taken a while to taper off this horrible drug.
I send you hope and strength natthecat.  Greetings and thanks to everyone else too.

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 03, 2010
Today is my 7th day cold turkey off of Tramadol. I was prescribed Tramadol back in June for Anxiety as 9 anti-depressants didn't work and Tramadol did. Tramadol stopped working and they can't increase the dose due to seizures and I started to abuse the Tramadol and take more to get high to lower my anxiety. Anyways, I'm off of it 7 days now and I don't want anymore. The only withdrawal effects I'm noticing is dizziness and brain-zaps. When will those go away? I hope soon. I never exceeded 400 mg a day though. I'm only on Klonopin for anxiety and even it doesn't do squat. My body does not respond to traditional meds prescribed for depression and anxiety. I'm in my low 20s and I've applied for disability as I can't hold down a job. But, I need these brain-zaps and dizziness to go away. Grrr.

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 03, 2010
Also, getting anxiety and chills. But I suffer from anxiety anyways, but without the Tramadol, the anxiety is even more intense now. I'm so cold right now and the heater is on 80ºF right now. Burrr.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 03, 2010
Hi everyone,

TramadolAddict - your story resonates with me.  I was given the tramadol as an alternative to the standard opiates and finally realized, after a really long time (guess I'm a slow learner, oh well) what a sneaky drug it is.

It helps with pain (chronic pain in my case) immediately and gives you the energy you need to get things done.  And the bonus?  It helps with mood!  I had NO idea there was an anti-depressant in this drug and never put 2 and 2 together.  I think this has a lot to do with why its so hard to stop.  The physical side of withdrawal was intense, but only lasted, for me, about 10 days.  It was the mental side of withdrawal that took the longest to get past.  I really thought I had found the brass key - I mean, a drug that helped with my pain and my mood?  It seemed to good to be true.  That thought should have tipped me off right away.

Firstly - it's really really great that you've realized so soon that something is wrong.  It took me years, yes, years, to realize that.  So you should be really proud of yourself for knowing there's a problem and that you're doing something about it so quickly.  And you say the tramadol stopped working.  Exactly.  That's the problem with this drug.  It requires more and more to continue to give you the same effect.  And where does that end?  How could we possibly stay on a drug that keeps telling us to take more?  I mean, does that mean eventually we would need 100 pills a day to feel the same?  It's all so cruel.  Doctors need to do a lot more research on the drugs they give out.  And I think, at least I hope, they are starting to realize it now.  I remember being given the standard opiates after the couple of surgeries I had over the years, and it was nothing for me to stop those.  I felt a little uncomfortable for a few days, but no mental anxiety after that at all.  It was all physical and I was able to handle that.  It's when it messes with your head that things get real tricky.  And it seems that 9 times out of 10 the Dr. will just cut you off.  With no guidance or direction whatsoever.  It breaks my heart to see how many of us here were affected so badly by this drug.

Sheliz - so glad to hear you're feeling a little better.  It was around 10 days that I started to see improvement as well.  It was such a relief.  And as I'm sure you know all too well, you might continue to experience various symptoms, but on a much less intense level.  And it's so manageable.  It will feel like a cake walk compared to what you've been through.  I'm so impressed with how well you're doing.  Lizzielang - your goal for being off this poison by New Year's is VERY doable.  What a great way to begin 2011!

Keep fighting warriors you can do this!!  And if I can say the one thing that really turned around the mental anguish for me?  Was to get ANGRY at those stupid little pills.  Anger can be very effective if used the right way.  I was not going to let some stupid pill run my life anymore.  I still hate this drug with a vengeance and I always will.  Especially when I see how many others fell into its insidious and cruel trap.

Finally, and most importantly, congrats on the 7 days.  That is SO great.  In fact - congrats to everyone who's winning the battle.  Keep going - you're going to find out you are a lot stronger than you ever knew.  And that feeling is SO empowering.  I never thought I'd feel strong again.  But I do.  And I'm so grateful for that.

Will check back in soon.  :-)  p.s.  I'm sorry by posts are so long - I need to learn how to summarize my thoughts better - sorry to all about that.

Avatar_f_tn
by JennyP99, Dec 03, 2010
Hi All - sorry I haven't posted in so long. I've been having a very hard time.  I had some sort of nervous breakdown....SEVERE panic and anxiety....so badly I ended up at the crisis center at the hospital.  This all happened after I FINALLY thought I was in the clear from the tramadol withdrawals.  My doctor has put me on Zoloft (antidepressant) and Ativan as needed.  I'm such a mess.  I keep thinking that I'm going to die.  I've never experienced anything like this in my whole life...it's horrible.  It's like i'm scared constantly....and afraid to be alone.  I don't know what happened to me. :( It's been 2 months since I stopped taking tramadol...and now I'm in this situation.  I can only hope it gets better soon.  Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?  It's horrible...I'm sick of being afraid. :*(

Jenn

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 03, 2010
@ImDONENoMore Thanks for the response. I agree 100% with your thoughts. I'll get through this. I don't want to see Tramadol ever again. The reason I cold-turkey-ed the med is because it tempts me to abuse it. So I just quit cold-turkey and never have looked back. The worse symptoms are brain-zaps and dizziness. Hopefully all that goes away in another week or two. 5 months on Tramadol was enough for me. And pill popping to get the same effect is crazy and I knew it was so dangerous, but when I have disabling anxiety and daily panic attacks, as to why I was taking Tramadol, it's hard to stop pill popping until I feel better. But, I got the courage to stop cold-turkey. One week today, the pills are gone and no more. :)

Now I'm on Klonopin for panic attacks. It does nothing and I'm already up to a moderate dose of 1 mg twice a day. The most my doctor said Klonopin comes in is 2 mg pills. I started out at 0.5 mg twice a day of Klonopin and within a month it was ineffective and I was up to 1 mg. Now 1 mg is ineffective. I might just wean off this med too. They tried me on Xanax once, however it does the same thing where I build resistance and my doctor doesn't want to keep me on it because of my history of drug abuse and how strong Xanax is. So pretty much, I'm stuck not responding to 5 SSRIs, 2 Tricyclics, and 1 SNRI med. Plus, I've tried Buspar and Seroquel XR on top of all of that and even combined meds at times and stayed on them for months at a time. Nothing has worked at all. Nada. I'm literally disabled without a car and live with family because I can't hold down a job or go to college because of my anxiety and panic disorder. My doctor even said he is stumped and I might be treatment-resistant. Not good. I have a social worker now and I've applied for disability. What hurts is not having health insurance, so basically ever doctor bill goes to collection agencies. I've racked up over 10,000 dollars worth of bills from hospitals and doctors because of no insurance. It's like a catch-22. How am I supposed to have health insurance if I can't work, yet I literally have no money at the same time to even make a minimal payment. My doctor also thinks I may be bipolar but has yet to make an official diagnosis on that. I went on a spending spree and I'm literally broke with 16 dollars left. Once again, I have no car and live with my parents. I'm pretty much screwed when it comes to bills because there's nothing they can sue me on, they can't garnish wages, they can't take my car, they can't do squat. I honestly believe in universal health care. But, unfortunately, the USA doesn't have universal care. :/ I have tried working and want to work. I lasted 2 weeks at my last job. I ended up ODing on the job on Klonopin from the stress, accidentally and quit before they had the chance to fire me. They were going to fire me. Other jobs, I have panic attacks and end up quitting or I end up not getting along with co-workers and snap and end up in the hospital in the mental ward and never return back to work. I can't hold down a job with my mental status. It doesn't help when I keep trying drugs that don't do anything. :/

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 03, 2010
@Jenny I've also tried both the Zoloft and Ativan. Didn't do a thing. The Zoloft made my heart race 24/7 and my anxiety soar even higher. Taking Ativan was like I took nothing at all; no effect. I actually tried to commit suicide twice this year. I'm pretty messed up. I just can't find any help other than counseling and that honestly doesn't do much for me. The mental anguish and no drug to help is very very frustrating. I wish weed was legal. Some people claim help from weed. Other people get paranoid while smoking it. Depends on the person from what I've read online.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 03, 2010
Hi again TramadolAddict,

I also put myself in a huge financial mess because of the drugs.  I didn't have health insurance either and I know exactly what you mean - I didn't feel well enough to work because I was so sick from withdrawing and taking the pills all the time.  And I couldn't work cause I was sick (and an addict), and I couldn't get health insurance cause I couldn't work.  What a vicious cycle.  All I can say is take a deep breath and keep going.

Everything will feel overwhelming right now.  But you are facing the most difficult battle of your life right now so you will, I promise, feel the benefits from your efforts to beat this soon, and for the rest of your life.  I know it doesn't seem that way right now.  It didn't for me in the beginning either.  It was impossible to imagine a better future when you're so far in the hole right now.  I too was there.  And even though I'm just beginning to feel well enough to finally get back to work (I'm looking for a job now) and even though I still have no insurance, I finally have HOPE.  And I didn't have that for years.  So hang on, you'll get there.

Take advantage of the time you have now to get well.  The rest will come, eventually.  What I learned was not to rush the process and to keep my expectations VERY VERY low.  It was just too much on my withdrawal symptoms to think about the future long-term.  I had to let go of those feelings so I could continue on.  I know that's easier said than done.  But it is possible if you just give yourself the time you need.  I think I said this before, but it seems we addicts want to feel good ALL the time and that's what got us into this mess to begin with.  No one feels good all the time, it's life.  So be gentle on yourself.  What you're doing now is probably the most important you will do for a long long time.  I mean, if you're not okay, nothing else will be.  So hang on you can do it! :-)

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 03, 2010
Day 8 cold turkey!! I actually slept for the first time last night for about 6-7 hours. It was a sleep like I hadnt felt in years!! I cannot believe im at day 8. Slight fuzzy head feeling, slight tiredness, but overall, my brain is recovering wonderfully. I cant express how happy I am that I went through this. Im getting myself back and I have forgotten who I was.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 03, 2010
Ghostman,

Isn't the getting yourself back and knowing yourself again the best feeling?  I remember those early days of clarity and they were wonderful!!

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 03, 2010
These trams are bad, I would say the McRib I ordered for lunch is a close second. Feeling ok today started 1 BID last night and got some decent sleep with xanax, had my 1 today at 10 am, and still feeling strong, plan on dropping to 3/4 BID starting tomorrow, as long as things keep going.  


1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 03, 2010
Hi JennyP99,

I'm so sorry you're feeling discouraged.  You've come so far and to have something like this happen to you now must be so upsetting.

Fear is a tough one.  I think fear is one of the reasons I started taking so much of this poison.  I was afraid of everything, my Mom's disease and what it was doing to her before she died, living without my Dad after he died.  And just recently when my husband's Mom died.  It's all been so sad and I thought I needed the drugs to just keep up with what I had to do.  All of it scared me.  I thought the drugs were giving me the confidence I needed, and the strength, to carry on.  What a lie.  What an unbelievable lie.

And please don't be hard on yourself.  You have been through a lot and I think its only natural that you're now experiencing fear.  But it has to be part of the process, right?  I mean, how could it not be - fear is what got me into this mess to begin with.

So just try to go slow and be extra gentle with yourself right now.  I find that if I distract myself long enough those feelings of fear subside.  And I don't think they ever completely go away.  Must be a survival instinct.  I mean, without fear, how would we know when or how to protect ourselves, right?

Just my thoughts, I really hope you're doing better tonight.

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 03, 2010
@ImDONENoMore Thanks for the replies. I value your input. It means a lot. :)

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 04, 2010
Just a quick one as I'm back to no energy at all and just want to get horizontal and watch tv.  It's day 12 and I had a pretty slow, tired day.  I had a pretty good day yesterday tho so I'm not complaining and I know that it's to be expected.  So, I must be due for a better one tomorrow.  The sleep is much better though and I slept 3hs plus 2 hrs last night without the help of seroquel so I'm going to try to go without it again tonight.

I keep forgetting to mention that I have 3 heat bags that I have been reheating constantly and have been using on whatever parts of my body that are screaming the loudest at the time.  They,ve been a great help although I don't know how much longer I can keep using them with the weather getting hotter by the day.  It was 32deg C and humid today so applying heat packs will soon become unappealing but right now they are a comfort.

Night all and I'll talk to you in the early hours of the morning no doubt.

Avatar_f_tn
by 4leefclover, Dec 04, 2010
HI Jen just read your note
did you see mine above about the Effexor component of tramodol??
withdrawing from that part of the drug in addition to the opiod caused HUGE anxiety and depression
problems for me----- I ended up in urgent care and the ER several times in the first 2 weeks of w/d C/T
and was put on clonidine and other support drugs (like you) to get through the horrendous w/d (lengthy)
from tram  it took a l-o-n-g time and I don't wan to be discouraging to anyone out there
keep going---- it gets better and better and any day off tram is a better day than on it
but I also want to empathize with Jen here and Emily, herself talked at great length about the 45day
milestone etc etc......so here we go together out of the jaws of this hell
Jen you are not alone and the zoloft and ativan will help
hang in there and keep posting girl


Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 04, 2010
I feel like I have flu.  It is 31 hours since I last took a tram. That was 10am on Friday morning. I am so agitated and my stomach feels horrible.  Somehow - each hour that passed after the 12 hour mark last night- I just paused and thought why take one- you can do it now. Kept reading all the posts from way back.   I got through the night (somehow) and with every hour I have just had to keep busy.  When 10am came this morning and I had done one whole day- I felt stopping is possible.  One whole day!  It is now 5pm on Saturday and I'm still clear- but so anxious, restless, dead-tired and very agitated.  Haven't enough self belief to think I can get through till 10am tomorrow but who knows..... have to hand this over -----please let me be free.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 04, 2010
Lizzie, your doing the right thing. That first day is terrible I know. Stomach feeling like its going to explode, anxiety, cold sweats ect, however, its all worth it in the long run and when you feel the fog start to lift, you become happy as a hounddog!! Sheliz, I know what you mean, its day 9 fo rme and im still tired. I get out and do stuff and it seems to make it better, but yes, its seems like the only symptom left is that fatigue. The fatigue is a heck of a lot better than it was though. im about to go chop some wood to get some blood working through my system. It's like 30F here and at night it goes down to 25F. So, it's very, very cold!! Thats makes it better, though, if it were summer time here, id be a lot more sluggish. Im so happy and just awestruck that im at 9 days. When I was at day 1, I couldnt even dream of being at day 9...but here I am!!

Avatar_n_tn
by Jimmyswe, Dec 04, 2010
Lizzie, you have to get Immodium, it helps a lot.

Avatar_n_tn
by Jimmyswe, Dec 04, 2010
Well, since Ghostman mentioned temperature..., its -18 C here now at 9PM in Sweden, it was -23C thursday morning. Im on day 8 , not much to do outside..

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 04, 2010
Thanks ghost -well done on day 9.   Me- just 36 hours now.  
Just taken Immodium - thanks Jimmyswe. Minus 18 C-- oh dear.  I thought minus 3 C was bad here. Are you on day 9 too?

This is not good- must sleep a bit.

Hope you are all doing okay out there. Where is sadman-- how are you doing?
And SheLiz?  She must be out again painting the town...ah well...why not

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 04, 2010
I'm good, thanks for asking, weekends were always tough for me, I always enjoyed more, and now I'm sitting on 26 which is way more than I need, when I'm done ill pitch the rest, I've been sleeping ok, really bad GI symp, taking xanax at and metronidazole during the day, but back to weekends, all last night and today I have not had any urge to have extra! It's a hear feeling, but I have big paper to write for application to med school and need a clear head, so will take 1 extra so I can focus, I promise on my life I'm not falling off, I just can't focus well with the w/d's right now, when I'm done youll see I'm moving straight down to 3/4 BID as scheduled!

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 04, 2010
...I hope you all can understand that , and pray for my strength.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 04, 2010
Hi All

         Lizzie I'm so happy to hear that you have made the jump.  I know you'll be feeling rotten now without a doubt but you are most definitely doing the right thing.  I am happy that I didn't drag it out any longer than I did.  I'm at day 12 and 1/2 and apart from the constant tiredness (and the frustration at not getting much of anything done) I am happy.  So, just be kind to yourself Lizzie, allow yourself to do whatever it takes to get at far away from tram as possible.

       I arranged to meet a friend for brunch today which was nice.  It was still an effort to get there but I was able to do it.   I'm back home on the couch now but feel ok.  Things were not so surreal when I went out so I feel like I'm becoming part of my surroundings again.  

      Hang in there Sadman I'm praying for strength for us all.


        

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 04, 2010
Well it's Day 8 for me now and tomorrow (Sunday) will be Day 9 off Tramadol cold-turkey. I have zero withdrawal symptoms today. Feeling 100% back to normal after being on the medicine for 5 months straight of 4-6 50 mg pills a day.

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 04, 2010
Hopefully, I remain withdrawal symptom free. I take daily vitamins, folic acid, and fish oil and withdrawal symptoms are gone today. If I remain withdrawal symptom free from here on out, then this was better than a slow withdrawal. I'd rather get it over with in the 8 Days rather than slowly over weeks, especially since I am prone to drug abuse. No more temptations to abuse the drug to get high. Life is good.

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 04, 2010
4am - that is the end of sleep.  Feel really weird, still so anxious and depressed. Got to get better. Nearly at the 48 hour mark- just 6 hours to go-then I can begin day 3.
Stuffing the vitamins and minerals.  I do have flu or identical--   very cold and very hot- and so exhaustedl.
Hope to be a bit more positive later.  
well done to all you lot at day 8/9/ or ten or more.  I want that too

1292938_tn?1333276842
by bethwillprevail, Dec 04, 2010
Hello tram warriors,
Looks like everyone is really fighting the battle!  I am so proud of everyone!  Hang in there.  I am here to tell you that you will get feeling better.  

Jennyp:  I believe the trams made me very mentally unstable for a good while.  Most of that is gone now, but around day 60 or so, I had a few times of extreme anxiety. I had this anxiety periodically during the first 2 1/2 mos- decreasing with time.  I feel for me it was the serotonin and chemical changes my body adjusting to and learning to function normally again.  It really made me terribly anxious and distressed- especially in the evening.  It would come on me and I would just think- oh boy here we go again!  I would try to do things to relax- hot shower, limit stress (if possible),  make sure I ate well and did not allow mynblood sugar to get to low.  I hope you told your doctors about the trams.  I really think it could have played a big part in what happened to you.

All of us have such different body chemistry.  It is so important to listen to your body signals and react to them to keep yourself on an even keel.  That had been something that has helped me so much.  Don't get too hungry, too tired, to stressed.  It will help you thru the withdrawal period.  

Lizzielang:  you are at the worst of it right now!  Hang in there!  You will feel like you have the flu.  I had a temp, sneezing, freezing/ hot, sweating, headache, lethargy, just felt completely horrible.  But by day 4, I was starting to feel some better.  I never thought I would make it, but I did and you can too.  Just stick to your plan!

Sheliz: great job!  Your energy will start improving soon.  Every day will get a little better.  keep getting out.  It helped me to do it even if it was often forced.

Ghost man:  great job!  Your progress is steady and you are going to make it!  

Tramadoladdict: wow- you are doing so awesome!  Hope it continues the same way.  Don't be surprised to have some down days though. Keep us posted on your progress.

Sandman and angelmoon:  I also relate completely with the purification.  I have been very humbled by this experience.  Thru this I have become closer to God and my faith has been strengthened.  It has been a fight of great difficulty and perseverance.  God has used it to teach me many things.  I was close to a divorce when I decided to stop the trams, after 31 years of marriage.  The trams played a role in that whole situation. Things are better now.  I am back to being who I am supposed to be and the person my husband married.  And the person God intended me to be.

Keep up the fight!!  You will make it to freedom!  

Beth

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 05, 2010
Lucky Day 13 :-)  I've been out of the house a couple of times today and have had to rest in between but I'm starting to feel a bit better.  I've got my quilting group tomorrow morning which is always a nice thing to do so I'll be making the effort to get there.  I've spent way too much time locked away at home lately.  I normally love my solitude and living alone but it has just got a bit much lately so getting together with the 'girls' tomorrow will be a good thing.
Tramadoladdict - that's amazing to be where you are already - if you work out what your secret is I'm sure there will be lots of us very happy to hear it.  Well done and I hope you keep it up every day from now on.
Thinking of you Lizzie, don't forget that every minute you put behind you brings you closer to the nightmare coming to an end.  I'm starting to look forward and wonder where this baptism of fire, right of passage is going to lead me.  It's gotta be leading somewhere good :-)

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 05, 2010

48 hours----just beginning day three.
  
Thanks Beth, thanks SheLiz - thanks all of you reading or writing here.
Sadman - you are doing so well - much in my thoughts and hope the application writing goes well for you.

I am so tired and I ache everywhere.  At least the stomach is a bit better -thanks to jimmyswe's advice.

It is Sunday, very very cold and grey out there.  Got in loads of books to read through this w/d time- but you know I just can't concentrate for long, same with any meditation..
Keep saying this will pass.  My central nervous system is adjusting and slowly healing.  It may take some time yet
.
I have grown to feel such warmth for all of you----after all -where would I go now---if I hadn't found this site.  I don't think I would be doing this---I'd still be tramming it, through such a distressing  murky world

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 05, 2010
Sorry to be a bore- it's me again.  This is truly horrendous.  I feel such panic like I can't breathe.  Only two hours have passed. I have to stay strong--I have to believe in all of you when you say it does get better.  I need all your strength so much. I implore god to ease this or to make me stronger.
Should I take valium? I've got a few somewhere. So terrified to start another addiction

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 05, 2010
Hang in there lizzie, you will feel better!! This is that purification thru pain, that will remind you when you want to give in, that will '**** no I'm not going thru that again!' I would take the valium as a means to get thru this, unless you think it will become an issue. and have you tried epsom salt baths, they have been help me, and b vit. I have been taking xanax, bc they help me sleep thru this period, and I know that I don't like them enough to continue taking them, hang in there, I mean you come thru smiling and crying bc you are free of this, and you're not a bore, never hesitate to write! We are here for you!

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Dec 05, 2010
Dear Lizzie, day 3 is often the worst, you may be very close to turning the corner.   I hope the valium has helped, (if you took some), whatever you can reasonably do to sleep & rest through these most taxing of times is a good plan.

SheLiz, I'm so happy you are talking about the rest of your life & all of you tramadol warriors are getting closer to that point.

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 05, 2010
I don't know sadman, I don't know madtram- but, I can't stop crying from reading your words.  I have Never felt so grateful for such understanding.  It has been the loneliest, most painful day. The light is now fading (4.15pm). I haven't given in. I wont give in- because of you lot out there.  There has to be a power between us, fortifying and strengthening.  Is that love maybe.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 05, 2010
Feel free to vent as much and as often as you like, Lizzie.  It's exactly what this site is for.  You can do it just like the rest of us and you are so close now. You go girl!!!  

It's 3.30am and I've been awake since 2.  My sleep is still a mess but it's more annoying than depressing at the moment.  All of my symptoms are now just annoying rather than insane-making so that's a huge improvement.  I'm going to get a couple of hours of work done then try for some more sleep.



1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 05, 2010
Lizzie, Just saw your latest lost after I posted mine.  The only thing that has gotten me through this is this site and everyone on it and that includes you.  

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 05, 2010
Thanks everyone. I wish everyone a quick recovery as well.

Here's what I'm taking and I continue to feel good at Day 9:

1) Klonopin 1 mg a day
2) Folic Acid 1 a day
3) 1,200 mg Fish Oil 2 times a day
4) Vitamin B Complex 1 a day
5) 2 Vitamin D supplements
6) 1 a day men's vitamin/mineral daily supplement

I started all of these a few weeks before going cold-turkey off Tramadol. Days 2-5 were the worse. Then, conditions improved rapidly for me.

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 05, 2010
Correction to my above post: Klonopin 1 mg "2 times a day" or 2 mg per day. :)

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 05, 2010
Hey tramaddict, why folic acid?

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 05, 2010
My doctor recommended the above. Folic acid is thought to help with anxiety/depression. As for how it might help withdrawal, I am not sure if it does. It's just what I've been putting into my body before the cold-turkey stopping of Tramadol and what I continue with and how I'm currently feeling, but whether any of the above are causing me to feel better is the question. Anxiety can be a withdrawal symptom of stopping Tramadol, which was a symptom I had, so it could be that the folic acid is helping that. Fish oil is also thought that have mental health benefits. I was actually prescribed Tramadol for anxiety and depression. It stopped working due to my body building up tolerance to the drug, so I had to stop taking it because I couldn't keep increasing the dose due to the seizure risk. Now, the only prescription drug I'm on is Klonopin.

Avatar_n_tn
by gunitbot6, Dec 05, 2010
lizzieland the valium should make you feal better, it could also help you fall asleep. if you fear getting addicted to valium, just dont take it every day. The thing is though that Valium will effect your Serotonin-norepinephrine  receptors and this is not good , it could slow down your healing process because  when you where on tramadol , the tramadol messed up you Serotonin-norepinephrine  receptors and now they have to heal, and if you take valium it will just over stimulate your receptors and keep them from healing faster.


Avatar_n_tn
by gunitbot6, Dec 05, 2010
your receptors will keep depending on the Serotonin-norepinephrine  that the valium produces, instead of building up natural Serotonin-norepinephrine  

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Dec 05, 2010
Tramadol addict, so glad you are feeling much better.  Just a watchword on the klonopin, it's a short acting benzo & can be very difficult to withdraw from if you stay on it for too long.   Our dear Emily had major prolonged discomfort withdrawing from klonopin after tramadol withdrawal.

Dr Ashton who is a well regarded expert on benzo withdrawal has people transfer from klonopin to valium to withdraw as valium has a longer half life & is easier to taper down from.

Just a thought.

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Dec 05, 2010
Actually, gunitbot, valium acts on GABA receptors which are the "muting" receptors in the nervous system.  Valium will decrease the effect of the stimulatory neurotransmitters like norepinephrine.  This means that there is a risk of overstimulation when you come off a benzo as the modulatory effect of the increased GABA is removed. That's why people coming off benzos often suffer from increased anxiety for a while.

Taking 5htp or St John's Wort can help to restabilise serotonin levels. There have been randomized controlled trials which have found that kava and passionflower can be as effective for anxiety as benzos & they don't seem to have the tolerance factor that develops with benzo use.

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 05, 2010
Thanks @madtram. I appreciate the info. I meet with my Psychiatrist a week from tomorrow, so I can ask her what I should do. I've been on Klonopin for 2 months now for anxiety. I take it twice a day. I have tried 5 SSRIs, 2 Tricyclics, and 1 or 2 other meds for anxiety and nothing works but Xanax and Klonopin. Even Ativan doesn't work. She might keep me on the Klonopin. I'd rather not be hooked on drugs, but I'm so severe that I can't even hold down a job with just the Klonopin. I could hold down a job possibly on Xanax, but I'd be taking Xanax all day long, everyday and my doctor won't do it. I was assigned a social worker and have a lawyer now and I'm in the process of getting disability for OCD, GAD, PTSD, and Panic Disorder. I also have Asperger's syndrome. My psychiatrist thinks I may also have ADD/ADHD and/or Bipolar disorder, but won't make a diagnosis on those yet as to whether or not I have them. I have been diagnosed officially as, "mood disorder, otherwise unspecified." I might be able to work a few hours a week once I get my disability and if I find any meds that will kick in and allow me to work. Otherwise, I'm in a bad situation with just disability and that's not good income at all. I'd rather be working than getting disability. But I've tried going to college 2 times and working 8 jobs, all failures. Then with the attempted suicides and no response to meds and even Seroquel XR, they said apply for disability. I refused to apply for a whole year and tried working 2 more times and failed. Finally, I applied. I should get approved, but it can take a couple years for some people.

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 05, 2010
@madtram Yeah, I get more depressed on my Klonopin. I'm taking no other meds. Klonopin actually decreases serotonin in the brain and can worsen depression over time, so you're right about the 5-HTP and St. John's Wort to help with that, however never take both of those supplements together because it can lead to Serotonin Syndrome. I was in the hospital once for taking both together and the doctor asked what I was taking and I said 5-HTP, St. John's Wort, and SAMe. He said don't take both the 5-HTP and St. John's Wort, as they react together. Pick one or the other.

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 05, 2010
Few hours and I'll be into day 4.  I never ever want to go through a 'day 3' again.  Only just scraped through thanks to coming back to the site many times yesterday to both read and write.  It was a hell day.  But I did manage to sleep for 4 hours.  Have to admit to taking a half of a 5mg valium around late afternoon.  And, a half a zopiclone to sleep with hot milk and good honey. I've been up since 3.30 am trying to clean my house, listening to the radio, eating toast, and keeping busy to stop the shaky anxiety kicking in. My body feels so heavy and tired though, everything is being done in extreme slow motion.  Got a whiff of the anxiety terrors on waking but it's okay now (5am).  May be able to sleep another hour soon.  It is a comfort to know that others have had the sleep disorders, especially SheLiz.  I know it all will get improve with time.  Feel today is definitely going to be better than yesterday.  No way will I go back now.
It is SO interesting hearing the posts from madram, TA and Gunnibot on Valium, Klonopin, st Johns wort, 5HTP and SAMe.
I think I prefer to go down the kava, passionflower, valerian root, when I finally come through all this.  
Thanks so much for all this information - it will make me extremely cautious with valium, Madram and Gunnibot.  I think I have to do more research on healing from abuse to CNS.  How can I find out more about this Dr Ashton Madtram? you have been through such a lot Tram/Ad-- I do hope your psychiatrist helps you and you get that disability.  It makes your battle with Tram so courageous.  I have everything on your list except the klonopin. I take the folic acid in combo with other minerals.
I feel a re-birth could be on the horizon.  I have never respected my body. It's just been there to get me around.  This entire experience has so floored me.  Too true - purification through pain - that's dear sadman.  I feel I'm on a new journey.  It could be so interesting- even exciting. Long way to go- but have to have a goal -that's me.  What are you like you guys - it's incredible to have found you all.  The internet is wonderful sometimes.
Have to say it one more time..am very close to beginning day FOUR.  I didn't die, like I thought I would yesterday!!!  

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 06, 2010
@lizzielang Thanks! :) I hope I get the disability too and hopefully can work part-time to supplement it if I get a medication to work right. ;) The thing about mental illness and medicine is relapse. Should I find a med and it works and I get a part-time job and the med stops working and I end up losing the job, I would have the disability instead of zero income. Right now, I have zero income and no health insurance since I live in the USA where we don't have Universal Health Care. I'm living with family right now as well. Good luck on your recovery as congrats on making it to Day 4!

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Dec 06, 2010
Lizzie, sending you some healing energy for an improved day four, you are doing so well.  Here's the link for Dr Ashton's site, there is a wealth of benzo related info on there:-

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/contents.htm

TramAddict, I feel for you, it must be very challenging to have so few treatments that work for you.  Have you tried effexor which is tramadol's cousin drug but doesn't have the opioid component so avoids the tolerance factor & dose escalation associated with tramadol. It's a pity that better treatments for anxiety have yet to be developed when there are so many people who suffer from this condition to some extent.

Well made reminder not to take both St John's Wort and 5htp together as they can cross react resulting in too much serotonin.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 06, 2010
Hi All

        Good morning Lizzie - Good to see you lived through Day 3 and I hope you have a good day 4.  You are roughly 10 days behind me and I've been having OK days for about 3-4 days now so it's not long now.  I am getting about 4-6 hrs sleep at night with the help of seroquel.  Had one ok night without the seroquel but then needed it the other nights.  I am also having an afternoon nap of about 2hrs most afternoons so I am quite happy about the amount of sleep I'm getting.

       I got to my quilting group this morning which is a 30min drive away.  I was there for 2 hours and enjoyed being there although I did more listening than talking myself. I was tired on the way home and have been resting since but the main thing is I got there and it wasnt too much of an effort.

      Tramaddict - you've got so much else on your plate I'm glad your tram w/d is being realatively kind to you.  Good luck with that and everything else.

      It'll be 14 days (2 weeks!!) in just over 4hrs and it is definitely getting easier.


Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 06, 2010
Madram--- thanks for the url for Dr Ashtons very very interesting data.  Been ploughing through it all over the last few hours.  I don't think I want to ever ever, take another valium or for that matter any other benzo.
This journey is offering so much insight into how much abuse my poor brain and body have been subjected.  I feel on a huge mission (well overdue) to clean up, take away all the props, unmask and find the ordinary me.  
I value all and any advice or info -- thank you all again -especially Madram
Am living in day four and it is just about alright so far. (noon)
To all tapering people out there - it is so worth it.
To all the many who have stopped - thank you for the continuing encouragment
Lizzy with such gratitude

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 06, 2010
@madtram Effexor I have not tried. Good idea. I will ask my doctor when I see her a week from today. Thanks @SheLiz. I'm at Day 10 now and still zero withdrawal symptoms. I wouldn't say I'm out of the woods yet, but a couple days totally withdrawal free so far. :) Good luck to everyone else.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 06, 2010
Hi everyone,

Sheliz - I just wanted to say it put a smile on my face to hear you talk about how your sleep has improved.  I'm so HAPPY for you - I remember when mine returned too and it was such a relief!  What a difference to hear you say this when I remember your earlier posts re: your struggle with sleep.  Your post today is SO good to see!

And once again, thank you Madtram.  You really know what you're talking about and we are all so lucky to have you here.

Hope we all have a good day :-)

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 06, 2010
Good morning everyone

              ImDone - it is a huge relief and getting some regular sleep helps make me feel human again.  I got 2 x 3 1/2 hrs sleep last night and woke up thinking of the things I wanted to do today.  That in itself is amazing as you would all know even thinking about things that need to be done is exhausting in the early days.  Now, I am at least ready to think about and attempt doing them.  

             I've missed so many of my yoga classes lately I'm going to see if I can get into a catch-up class this morning. A nice start to the day.

             So, hang in there just a little bit longer Lizzie and the rest of you out there it's most definitely going to get better.


Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 06, 2010
What promising words Sheliz.  Today was so strange- better than day 3 but will be glad to finish it and start on day 5 tomorrow.  The morning was not too bad and then this terrible fatigue swept over me and I felt ten tons. Everything was so difficult to do - from making the tea to even trying to read a book. The stomach is still so uncomfortable and all I want is to soak in my bath.  Then getting out seems a monumental task. Night has come- so so tired and don't know whether to take a zopiclone or to test out natural sleep. However, it seems I got through day four nearly
So pleased I jumped and did this. If I'd stuck to the slow taper it would have been an endless withdrawal through to new year.  Something just pushed me to go. If each day gets better - maybe Christmas will be good with all my family around.
SheLiz - so pleased to hear your news- enjoy the yoga.  I have a lot of catching up to do too. It is so good hearing your little triumphs - I am not so far behind you.   Do hope ghostman, tramadoladdict, gunibot and sadman are doing alright too.  How is jimmyswe I wonder. I feel part of a wonderful group. Always good to hear from Beth, 4leef myfreedom and ImDone and Madtram..  I do feel strength coming to me from you lot out there.  Good night and many thanks.

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 06, 2010
Day 11 is coming to an end and to be honest, today was a little rough. Im still having that tired feeling, but this was more of an anxiety problem. Also, very irritable. All that aside, im in disbelief that im here. I actually remember thinking, 11 days is an eternity. But here I am!! Yesterday, was pretty good. But I expected these up and down days. My experience has been that at day 15, things started leveling out more.

Avatar_m_tn
by TramadolAddict, Dec 06, 2010
Sorry to hear about your Day 11 being rough ghostman. My Day 11 is tomorrow. I'm hoping for the best. Today was the 3rd day I've been symptom free from withdrawal. I'm hoping Day 11 treats me well. Good luck and I hope you start feeling better.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 07, 2010
Almost 15 days now and today has been good.  I got to yoga, then did some food shopping and took my talking books back to the library.  Then I needed a rest by then so I came home and had a lovely 2 hour sleep on the couch.  So, I am definitely able to go out and do the things I need to do now and just have to accept that I just have to take it easy and rest lots as well.  I am really loving these afternoon sleeps.  Unfortunately, I was enjoying my sleep so much that I completely forgot that I had an important appointment at the bank.  I never usually forget anything so my brain is still not functioning 100% yet but I'm not too concerned.  Rest is the priority at the moment.

Strangely, I woke in the middle of the night last night completely covered in sweat and with stomach cramps.  It was like the first few nights all over again but it was all ok by morning.  Maybe just another wave of the poison leaving my body. Yay!!

Hang in there Ghostman, from your own experience you know you are soooo close to feeling much more normal.
Lizzie - I thought the heaviness was with me forever but it's much lighter now :-)
I'm so happy for all of us.


Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 07, 2010
I have to admit to finding this extremely difficult. Day 5 has just begun and after a horrible disjointed night )little sleep- constant visits to loo, and one most terrifying nightmare)- I was prepared to face going out today thinking the worst surely must be over. But, I am so heavy, slightly anxious and depressed, I've come back to bed and it's only 10 in the morning. It is like there is no motor in my body or rather no fuel in that motor,  and movements are just such an enormous effort. I feel this is endless - and cannot see what there is to look forward to
Will post later


Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 07, 2010
What a negative self-indulgent post -- sorry to all you lovely people out there.  This day / hour will pass

Avatar_f_tn
by muchforgiven, Dec 07, 2010
Hi everyone. I have not posted in a wk. or so but I have been reading your posts. Bravo SheLiz, Ghostman, Lizzielang, and any other I have forgotten who are in early W/D. For me, I am hanging aroun 2 1/2 50 mg. /day. I am working and have so many other responsibilites right now, I fear to go through the W/D as it seems I would not be able to function. I have a wk. off between Christmas and New Years and my plan is to jump then if I haven't already become tired of the taper.I do feel like I am in some constant W/D already as I have sweats,palpitations,anxiety,bit I know it is much worse to come.
All of your posts have been so encouraging and make me want to be where you are. Keep posting. God Bless You

1512059_tn?1298300173
by rt35630, Dec 07, 2010
Okay...I am making myself post. I did one last night and I forget what happened but I lost it when trying to send.

I'm okay. I've leveled out at 11 pills a day and I did cheat a couple of times but it is definitely not worth it in the long run because the next day when I went back to 11 there were bigger WD symptoms. don't really feel like I am in constant WD. But there are several days after a cut that are worse.  I was supposed to cut again on Monday and I haven't because I took 13 on Sunday - I had a Christmas performance as organist for the local Episcopal/Anglican Lessons & Carols service and wanted to feel better. Monday was noticable more down and I couldn't sleep well at all but still got sleep.

I keep saying this, but I don't think I should try another cut till after Christmas. There is just too much stress right now. But I may just jump then. I'm pretty much decided to tell my boss at my Episcopal job what is going on and ask her to give me some time off. I've been reading a lot of people's posts saying it starts to get better after 3 or 4 days.

Anyway...I'm having a hard time sitting through NA meetings not talking and not being clean, and I'm finding the waiting more frustrating than anything, so, after the holidays I will either cold turkey, or maybe try a bigger cut.

But for now, physically, I am okay. One thing has changed with this lower dose. I would jerk when falling asleep at the higher dose - like almost come off the bed - it was only a split second, but I worry about the seziure issue. However that has totally gone away and it was happening almost every night.

I'm fighting with y'all still! -Randy

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 07, 2010
Lizzie, that wasnt self indulgent!! When you tell people about this, it cuts the burden in half. 5 days, you are coming out of the woods right now!! Its still going to be hard, but youve put in 5 days and theres no turning back now!!

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Dec 07, 2010
Hi all--its Lettuce!  I haven't posted in a while, but I'm still reading, and still being encouraged by all of you warriors!  I am still doing my slllooooowwww taper, and I managed to take only 3 1/4 pills for 3 days.  I was having a particularly bad weekend, and bumped back up to 4, and thought it wouldn't hurt anything.   Wow, was I WRONG.   Until then, I hadn't really experienced much in the way of withdrawal yet, but I sure paid for that extra pill the next day.  It was totally not worth it.   I woke up, at 4 in the morning, couldn't lie still, but was too depressed and tired to get up and out of bed.   Its like being trapped in your own body!  Anyway, I had to go back up to 3 1/2.   One in the morning, and two in the evening.   Mornings and nights are the hardest for me, and I suspect the morning pill will be the last to go.

One thing I have found, is that taking the tramadol is definitely a habit... kinda like smoking, I suspect.   I'm just so used to having 3 or 4 lying around on my nightstand, along with my glass of water, that I always keep there too.   LOL  I guess I figure I might need a pill so badly one morning that I can't make it to the kitchen to get water.   That might actually be funny if it weren't so true!  Anyway, it's the habit of "popping" a pill in my mouth sometimes I think.   So, I've been trying to satisfy that "pill popping" urge, with popping a vitamin or supplement instead.  That seems to help.  Or, instead of popping two at a time, I only take 1 at a time, or 1/2 at a time, etc.

I haven't started the sweating yet, and luckily I've been able to sleep with the help of an occasional Ambien, or Tylenol PM.   But I have been there once before and I know what's coming!   At that time though, I didn't realize it was withdrawal, and I was taking much less and for a much shorter time.  

For some reason, I keep getting these mini... panic attacks?   Just this impending feeling of doom...   The only way I can describe it is kinda like fear -- maybe fear that once I get off these stupid pills.. if I EVER do, that I won't "fit" back into my old life?   Does that make any kinda sense to anyone?   I guess I'm just not quite in the right mindset yet, but I'm trying.   I'll keep reading here, and I also keep going back to really old posts and reading those.   And I shouldn't say "if I EVER get off these" because I know I will, I guess I just have doubts that this is going to be the right time for me.  

Also, I should add, to all you readers out there who may just now be starting to read, and contemplate quitting.. I was in pain before the Tramadol.   It seemed like the perfect solution.   I had energy.  I lost weight.  I could do a lot more in a  day than I ever could before.  But now I am in more pain now than I have ever been in my entire life.   I have pain in areas that I never had pain in before, and I have no idea why.   My hormonal cycle is all messed up.   I am only 42 and its like the Tramadol has triggered early menopause or something.   the doctors can find no hormonal or other reason for this, but I have my suspicions that its the Tramadol.   I have developed some kind of carpal tunnel or something in my wrists.  I've worked for 20 years, typing all the time with no issues, until now.  

I hope you all are doing well.  Just wanted to check in--I know I don't post very often.  

~ Lettuce ~

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 07, 2010
Hi Lettuce,

Yes, yes, yes!!!  To everything you just said.  I remember that feeling of "popping" a pill.  I began a very regimented therapy of vitamins about 1 1/2 weeks after I quit.  And now in retrospect, I think it did help - and not just for the obvious benefits you receive from the vitamins, but for the actual "act" of taking a pill.

And the mini panic attacks, I think, are normal.  I felt such impending doom at certain times, right before bedtime, where I'd have to get up and move about for a bit and tell myself "it's all in your head, so stop thinking this way!!"  I also thought I wouldn't "fit" into my life again.  That is only the DRUG talking.  It's nonsense even though it feels so real at the time.  Believe me, when you look back, you're going to say "yeah, I see now.  I get it".  I'm excited for you to get there - it's such a great feeling.  The withdrawal will make you feel like you have every disease or condition in the book.  But that's just not true.  Now granted, if you continued to have these symptoms 6 mos. on after quitting, then of course, see a Dr., if for nothing else to help alleviate your concerns.  But it took a while for me to relax and say "it's withdrawal and nothing more".

Good to hear from you again.  Keep posting - if nothing else, the venting is so good.  Much better to get all the crazy thoughts of withdrawal out and on paper, than to keep it only in your head, right?

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 07, 2010
Thanks for those words ghostman.   Not my best day  but nearly through with it.  Nearly midnight- time to try
some sleep. Hope you are doing fine.
Can anyone tell me if they experienced blocked sinuses, so you feel you can't breathe?  If so - is there something you can buy otc for it.  I have a vick inhaler - doesn't really respond to that. Also tried eucaplytus. Just get temporary relief.  Is this part of withdrawal?
I had and still have mini panic attacks Lettuce.  Am hoping they will go as I increase the days without tram.
Hello to everyone else out there beating these devilish pills--may strength walk beside you

Avatar_n_tn
by gunitbot6, Dec 07, 2010
lizzie get some zicam for sinus it works great

Avatar_f_tn
by angelmoon, Dec 07, 2010
Lizzie, I took the kids dose of the chewable claritin.  It helped so much and not any side effects for me.  I could not take anything else that would have made my heart pound. (more than it was!) Also, with the kids dose I could take another one in the late aft. if I needed. I also did take the magnesium supplement Peter Gilliams "Calm". You mix it with water and drink like a warm tea.  I noticed a marked improvement in my evening anxiety.  Hope this helps. Keep going...a good day is just around the corner. I promise.  Much love strength and prayers

Avatar_n_tn
by sadman123, Dec 08, 2010
Starting my 3/4 tab BID tonight, I've promised myself complete freedom for Christmas and a clean new decade! You're doing great lizzie hang in there!

1492825_tn?1300851751
by ghostman, Dec 08, 2010
You know, im on day 12 and I still feel a little bit of a withdrawl. Mostly just tired and anxiety, but also its funny that angelmoon mention this heartpounding thing. Now, ive never experienced that. It has scared me enough to almost go to the doctor to see if was having a heartattack!! It started happening a couple of days ago. Just a few hours ago I was laying in the recliner and dozed off for just a second, then I woke up and my heart was pounding so hard, that my entire body was pounding!! Im just a little concerned about that. Is it normal to still be going through something like that 12 days later? I remember the tiredness and fatigue in the past, but I never remembered this heart stuff. I mean, it was pumping really fast and really hard for no reason at all. No pain with it, just random heavy fast heart pounding.

1395853_tn?1280355113
by MyFreedom, Dec 08, 2010
Lettuce ~ I too did a long slow taper and I certainly had the odd and random pain show up as I got closer to the end. It was really strange...until my doc sort of explained it to me...that these random body parts would just start aching  where before I'd never had any issues. It has something to do with our body's opiate receptors re-learning how to function normally without tram. I can tell you from my experience that they picked up and got a little more intense as I got closer to finishing my taper and for about 2 months afterward. Once I hit that 2 month post-tram point they seemed to fade away as mysteriously as they showed up. My wrists also bothered me....as well as my hip flexor on one side and a few other places. My original pain (the reason I ever started tram) picked up and intensified a bit as well, but again, once I got to about that 2 month mark all it took was ibuprofen to take care of it....for the most part. I don't really recall any siginificant panic-y episodes, but I do recall being very anxious on some of those days near the end of my taper. Maybe because I went soooo slooooow I didn't quite get the panic episides that some of the others did.

Lizzie ~ Yes! My nose was soooo stuffy for a few weeks after I stopped! I thought that and the sneezing was the absolute weirdest thing in the world. I have bad sinuses anyhow, so I attributed the stuffiness to my sinuses....but only figured out later that it was all part of the wd. It was always worse when I would lie down to sleep....of course making sleep even more difficult at times. I used Afrin for a few days during the time it was really bothersome. The dr's always try to tell me not to use it because it can become habit forming, but I've never had any issues with stopping it. It is a 12 hour nasal decongestant spray...shrinks the passageways within minutes. I always notice it when the 12 hours are up because I get stuffy again, but it will only stay stuffy for a little while and if I just wait out that period of time once it wears off I'm fine after that. I've also been told that if you have high blood pressure that you shouldn't use it. Maybe you have something similar over there?

Off to bed....its 1:40am here!

:)



Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 08, 2010
Hello everyone   - just beginning day 6.

Thanks especially to angelmoon, gunnibot and myfreedom--- I will explore these options at my chemist later.  It is one of the most annoying w/d symptoms as I usually get a headache with it. There is also shortness of breath too.  The only relief is to go outside for ten minutes where the temperature is around or below freezing.  But that is temporary.  You are such a good crowd.  I would be really freaking out now if I had done this without the group, thinking there was stuff seriously wrong with me.
Ghostman - I have had exactly what you describe- fast loud heartbeat.... thought 'this is it---I'm a gonner - am having a heart attack.....'  but it passes.  It's usually when I'm in bed lying flat that it happens.  Bit scary to say the least.  How can this drug effect all these parts of out bodies.  I hate the stuff.
Yesterday was difficult as I felt totally zonked out for most of the day. Today I confess is different.  Still very very low on energy but I am getting a glimpse of my old clarity.  Possibilities are emerging.  I can see myself working again.  Because I can be very impatient, I am forcing myself to be patient with the recovery -- I want my whole life back -not a little bit- not a temporary fix -- I want to feel sustained health.  It will always be very very challenging for me not to want to take a pill for this or that.  I don't do pain very well at all- never have.  But the new me is going to forge a good relationship with pain---- and not rush for a fix.
I am watching your posts sadman-- it is excellent to see where you have got   -- 'freedom for Christmas and a clean new decade! '  - I really like that.
Today I have no choice but to venture out into the real noisy busy world.  I have a commitment to keep -- just 4 hours but it will be a big test for me.  I'm trying to stay really upbeat.  I've had to clean out my various handbags with their stashes of pills.....just in case.  Must forget that 'just in case' scenario.  Nothing bad will happen. I wont fall on my face. It's like what Lettuce says earlier --the fear of 'will I fit into my old life?'
Oh thank you all for being out there. Means so much.  All good healing thoughts going out to  you

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Dec 08, 2010
Regarding the nasal stuffiness, I've been having that off and on as well.   I figured it was just allergies.  But I have been using the breathe right nasal strips, and they really do help.   They also seem to help keep me from waking up with a morning headache because of the stuffiness.

Lizzielang -- I was just thinking about that last night (cleaning out all of my old handbags, and my nightstand drawer, and who knows where else) to get rid of all of my pills.  They seem to be everywhere.  Under the bed.  In my desk.  On the floor of my car.  I haven't gotten to the point where I'm ready to do that yet, but I know at some point I will have to.   I'm hoping that once I'm off, and I run across some pills somewhere, that I won't be tempted, and I will remember how hard withdrawal was and how long it took me, and how bad it felt!   For now, I will try to start collecting them as I find them.   Part of me is not ready to let that go yet.   Anytime I was low I would always know I could find a pill somewhere... whether it was in an old purse, or in the shop vac in the garage.   (I always managed to find a pill or two that I had accidentally vacuumed out of my car).   Wow, yes, I really did that -- searched through all that cruddy, gross.. mess, just to find a pill.  That was me.






1066768_tn?1315755925
by TheUltramateWarrior, Dec 08, 2010
Wow !
This journal is eternal !

I still remember the first withdrawal battle that I went through after taking it for 4 months without stopping for one day against " Tramadol/Ultram/Brain Re-Uptake/Soul/Life Inhibitor/Enhancer Only When You Have Enough Of It Within Your Blood/Brain " !
I found this journal while searching on like one of my first days of war !
Now I posted here just a few times a long time ago and found alot of good information and help all about the subject of dooms days 1-7 here on this great journal forum and alot of Warriors of the past and present and future still come here and will come here.
I hope that this Journal stays eternal for all that need it.
Thank you Emily Post !
I just feel the need to pass on any and all information that I know and have gathered through my many wars and gathered from right here from this great place.
For people that need any type of answers about anythings that will make them feel better for this 7-day/14 day episode of Survivor !
Trust me as I have gone through this at least 20 times by now from anywhere between5/7/9/12/15 days over and over.
Yes I have actually fully waged the war and went through cold turkey and came out alive and the Victor and had started feeling great again at least 20 times.
I know how it feels and I will eventually be finally wise and gain the real actual Victory oneday I hope forever.
So yes you can beat the withdrawal,though one must slay the enemy in the end and remain Victorious.
I guess that I enjoy the battle to much right now and that is part of the reason why I do not slay my enemy for good at the end of the battle.
Someday I will use my knowledge and be wise with it,like many of the Tramadol Warriors that have visited this battlefield in the past and are still fighting everyday and winning everyday.

1066768_tn?1315755925
by TheUltramateWarrior, Dec 08, 2010
Hah !

Yeah that was a pretty long crazy comment above.
Hey I am currently on day 8 of my latest cold battle and I slept about an hour finally on my 5th night I believe this time around.
Now last night I finally got about 3 hrs sleep and basically my total sleep this week was probably 6hrs total.
Yes that is indeed not good for me or anyone.
I feel good finally now and will only get better everyday from now until about 12 days of war and then I will probably go through it all again in another month after I Re-Uptake of my enemy !

One must laugh out loud and not let weakness set in and be patient and give yourself a break for the first 4 days/5 nights of this.
You deserve any pleasure that you are allowed in this war !
Eat alot as I have heard and just accept that you WILL be awake for like 4 days on end unless you are taking some prescribed medication that is not easily obtained by all !
Get some whey protein powder and take your vitamins more so C because it helps with building and using the food that will eventually restore your brain and being to become strong again.
My brother offered me a Monster Energy drink on day 2 and I was freezing cold and I drank 1/3 of it and I became warm 20 minutes later for about two hours and felt better and then read what was in it and I believe Panax Ginseng and the B vitamins/Creatine and anything else that was in it helped me and I drank another third the next day and my chill was gone again.
Ibuprofen for the fever strong coffee in the morning and hot anything will aid your Arctic weakened self.
Accept your fate and act like you are in an Episode of Survivor or at war !
This will make you stronger in the end and it will make you respect Tramadol for the Powerful Force that it indeed is.
I know that the longer that you have been on Tram,the worse you will have of a withdrawal no matter how much of it you took or take.
I take alot and I did not take alot for my first 4 months and my first withdrawal was the worst even though I took less everyday.
I take alot everyday and for only a month or so and then withdrawal and believe me it is not even close to the misery that I was in the first battle after 4 months straight !
Go figure it does not make sense,however that is the truth that I have lived.
I salute you all and I promise to be back soon.
Thanks for listening and maybe being forced by withdrawal to read my posts !
Hah !
Hey its no big deal afterall I know that it might help somebody to read my comments and forget their misery for maybe a few seconds.
Yeah well you have plenty of time to read when you are awake for a very long time.
Goodluck to all and I wish everyone here all of the best.

T.U.W.

Avatar_n_tn
by Kristen222, Dec 08, 2010
Hi everyone!  This is the first time I am posting.  I am 3 days cold turkey and have terrible symptoms - the sweating, exhaustion, fatigue, feeling extreme cold which then goes to sweating, sneezing alot - it's awful.  I have actually had to call into work sick which I have not done for years.  I have found that taking vitamins and magnesum supplements has helped me.

I was on tramadol for over six years.  Like everyone here, I felt great for a while - tons of energy, lost 15 pounds, no anxiety.  After a while though, I actually gained weight while on the same diet.  A few weeks ago the doctor diagnosed me with hypothyroidism.  After much research, I found that opiates actually inhibit the thyroid over long term use.  The tramadol appears to have caused my hypothyroidism and has prompted me to quit.  Has anyone else had this problem?  Also, other weird things have occurred as I continued to use.  Shopping increased significantly (was never an issue), I stopped exercising (which I had exercised my whole life), I had a magnesium deficiency and I felt like being a couch potato most of the time (which is so unlike me).  Also, while not depressed, I kind of lost my zest for life.  Never really felt like doing anything, felt like everything was an effort, became almost complacent and I have no motivation. I actually prefer to sit in my den all the time when I used to be such an outgoing people person.   Has anyone else experienced this and if so, is there a chance I can go back to normal?  I am so scared that after such a long time the old me is gone.  Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

I know this is really hard and I wish everyone continued success

Kristen

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Dec 08, 2010
Hi Kristen, and welcome!

I definitely had most, if not all, of these symptoms while on Tramadol.   I thought I might possibly be the only one who had "significantly increased shopping."  I'm glad to know I am not!   But yes, I bought so many things that I thought I needed.   Almost every evening after work, I would go shopping.  

I have been on Tramadol off and on (mostly on) for about three years now.   Lately it has seemed like the effects I first liked about Tramadol, reversed on me.   First I lost weight, now I gained.   First I had lots of energy and motivation, and now I have zero motivation.   I used to workout faithfully, but I began to get lazy about it, and here recently I pretty much quit.   I do try to drag myself to the gym at least once or twice a week, but once I'm there I only workout for about 20 minutes then quit.   Sometimes I don't even do that, I just sit in the sauna for 10 minutes and leave.    

I have wondered about my thyroid.   I'm having all sorts of strange symptoms along with the weight gain.   Menopausal type symptoms for one.   Lots of swelling in my ankles, to the point of feeling like my socks are leaving deep painful marks in my legs that don't disappear for an hour or so.  

I feel the same as you -- like the old me is gone, but keep reading here.   That's what I've been doing.   Many people here have found their "old" selves again and are living very happily and Tramadol free.  

I actually didn't know Tramadol would give me such horrible withdrawal symptoms, and when I ran out once, I wasn't sure what was happening to me.   The sweating and the restless legs/arms was the worst.   And not being able to sleep.   My doctor was able to prescribe me something for that.   I didn't realize at the time that all this was Tramadol withdrawal.   I thought I was in perimenopause.   I just kept refilling my prescription, increasing my dosage, and now I'm here.   I have cut down from 8 pills per day to 3 1/2.   I'm not sure where I will go from here, but I know I need to quit.   My health is suffering and I have many of the same symptoms that you do.

I too am worried about getting my old self back.   I'm told that those feelings of worry is the drug withdrawal talking, and that it will pass.  

You are in the right place, everyone here is so kind, non-judgmental, and helpful.   Just reading back through all the posts is so inspirational.



Avatar_n_tn
by Kristen222, Dec 08, 2010
Thank you so much.  I have had so many problems with my hormones and thyroid and I never in my life needed any medication before taking Tramadol.  I have a very busy career and had a car accident 13 years ago.  I took tramadol on and off for a while and quit completely.  But after the birth of my two kids I had back troubles and started taking it again.  I was feeling so stressed and so guilty about working that I could not stop. Always had an excuse.  Too much to do, just the next level in my career - the list goes on an on.

Never had a problem with my hormones, but I have had so many female issues over the past few years.  Uterine polyups, breast cysts, cycle disruption, absolutely no sex drive  - the list goes on and on.  I am in good shape and at a healthy weight but cannot get myself going.  I do what I have to do to get through the day.

The final straw was I had smart lipo and gained 8 pounds.  It was then that I went to the doctor and upon a TSH stress test they found that my thyroid was not responsive.  The culprit appears to be opiate abuse although I am not a hundred percent positive.  Now I need to go on thyroid meds and cortisol to get my system going again.  I have completely blown out my adrenal glands and I think it is from the Tramadol.  

I know in my heart the Tramadol is the cause and I have to stay off of it.  I guarantee you that if you quit, you will probably go back to normal in the hormone health department.  All my hormones were perfect prior to taking this awful stuff.  I just pray I have not done too much damage already.  

Thank you for your support.  It is so greatly appreciated.

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Dec 08, 2010
I can definitely relate to all of that.   No sex drive here either and I also have developed breast pain.  

I began taking Tramadol when a friend, who takes it regularly, gave it to me for joint aches.  It enabled me to do so much, and also cope with the stress.  It was like I could handle absolutely anything.   I got tired of relying on my friend to keep me supplied, and got tired of running out, and having to ask her for more, so I saw a pain management doctor to get my own.   It was sooo surprisingly easy to obtain.  I do have legitimate pain -- I have ulcerative colitis and joint pain is also associated with the disease.   But I have to admit, I wanted the tramadol for much more than the pain relief it provided.   The energy I had was phenomenal, not to mention the weight loss.   And Tramadol came into my life during my daughter's teenage years, which were very very trying.   Tramadol helped me deal with it all.

I am exhausted too, and I haven't even quit yet.   I was tired when I was on high doses too.   Its like the energy effect totally wore off for me within the past few months.   I wasn't willing to increase my dosage to much over the maximum recommended dosage, so I constantly felt like my body was craving more to get the same effect.   So, after reading here, I decided to at least start cutting back, and see what happens.   Really, I don't feel any different yet.   But, I also don't feel much in the way of withdrawal yet either.   I imagine that will happen when and if I stop completely.  I just crave that energy I once had so badly, that I think crazy things like "maybe if I cut back for a while, I could start again and have the same original effects."   But I know that is a lie.

Sometimes I wish my doctors would find something that would make me wake up and just quit cold turkey, like you.   But everytime I have bloodwork done, everything is "normal."   However, I know that I'm not "normal."  I wouldn't be feeling like this, and gaining weight for no apparent reason, if I was normal.   My problem is that I have a pretty much unlimited supply right now, if I want it.  I have to learn to not want it.

I'm excited for you that you have 3 days under your belt.   I have heard many people say that day 3 was one of the hardest ones.   So hang in there!  

Avatar_n_tn
by Kristen222, Dec 08, 2010
Cutting down is probably the smartest way to do it.  I have tried it before but then I always find an excuse not to stop.  It is so hard because I have absolutely no one to even talk to about it.  No one - not my family or friends - know.  My doctor doesn't even know because I just started to get it online.  So much easier.  

My bloodwork looked normal too.  It wasn't until they did what is called a TSH challenge test (alot of doctors don't give this so your results look normal and you are sent home) that they found all of my issues.  And upon research I found that the tramadol has caused thyroid issues.  It is a real wake up call because I know have to be tested regularly and am showing signs of insulin production issues.  Scary.  Trust me, it is a big wake up call.

That stuff is not worth it.  When I think about what I have been through medically over the past year or so, it scares me the impact it has had on my body.  I know completely what you mean about the effect of energy and all that.  I think that sometimes too.  Problem is, it won't happen.  When I had my surgery performed they gave me demerol and scarily the first dose did not work.  Doctor said I had a very high tolerance to pain meds.  That is what it has done.  So you will go right back to needing what you need now.  

Please hang  in there.  It is so nice to know that I am not the only one out there.  Try to wean off.  I know you can do it.  I want my old self back.  I am so tired of needing it.

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 08, 2010
Kristen and Lettuce---So interesting reading your posts.  Thanks for the info on the nasal strips Lettuce. And,welcome Kristen---this is definitely where you should be.My day 3 was so horrible- I could never go through it again. Am now on day 6 - and it is still a struggle but, I DO see a small improvement.  It feels like I'm walking through sludge - no energy, no pleasure --then that passes and things get a bit easier-- then the repeat happens and you just don't know why.. it's so weird.  I have aches and pains everywhere.  The blocked nose is infuriating as you feel you need to use so much energy just to breathe.  I am sorting that out now thanks to all the tips from guys here.  My latest agony is peripheral neuropathy in my legs, which I knew I had but never really suffered with.  I am waiting on a consultation for it. I was told it was connected to spinal probs which caused me to have a dropped foot.  Since I stopped the tram the skin on my legs feels so tender.  I hate socks or weight on then-- sometimes they are so cold which is bearable, but sometimes they are hot -unbearable.  I have this feeling that tramadol is the culprit for some of this.  We'll see.  It is an evil drug and just wrecks our bodies while we are not looking.  I  hope I have not left things too late and can undo the damage. I will be pleased when I have my first week behind me.  This has been one of the most difficult battles of my life - but thank god I'm in it ---and intend to come out a winner.  Today I ventured out for the first time  in days and it was not so difficult.  Tomorrow will be better I hope.  Once this unpredictable fatigue lessons I will be so pleased -- it makes everything heavy and hard.  But with each day I am that bit better.... must keep remembering that.  Kristen you are doing so well-- you will feel better tomorrow and even better the next day. You'll notice small things. I think it takes ten days for Tramadol to leave the system---that is the magic number for me anyway.  Some warriors say day 7 is the turning point.  We are all so different it cannot be judged. Tomorrow at 10am I begin day 7 !  It's nearly midnight now - so I am off to try to find the elusive sleep.  This is the first night I hope not to have to take a sleeper.  Wish me luck.  Sending strength to you both.
lizzy

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Dec 08, 2010
Tramadol affected my hormones & I periodically tested hypothyroid until recently.  Prior to tramadol, I suffered from hormone related sinusitis, reliably once a month, my sinuses would clog & my eyes would gum up.  On tram, these symptoms all but disappeared but they are back now that the tramajunk is history.

I had theorised that tramadol may have some antihistamine type effect & there might be something in this.  Thankfully, they are still doing very occasional studies on tramadol, (we live in hope that one of them will reveal its true nature).  A recent study found that tramadol has anticholinergic effects.  Acetyl choline is one of the vital neurotransmitters we use to move & think.  The antihistamines that make you drowsy are acting on the ACTH receptors in the brain & have been linked with increased dementia in older people.  Drugs that are anticholinergic will cause brain fog & memory problems.

Tramadol disguises its anticholinergic effects by ramping up your noradrenaline so you feel perky & don't notice the dumbing down effects which may explain why many of us could get a high from buying more & more stuff without being able to focus on whether we needed it & how many days of hard labour it would take to pay off the cost of the stuff.

I haven't heard anyone reporting ongoing problems once they are truly tramadol free but you do need to give it time if you are a longer term user as the stuff is stored in fat cells so the serum half life is not a good reference point for how long it takes to truly leave the building.

In conclusion, the sooner you start weaning off, the closer you are to knowing that whatever ails you can no longer be attributed to the tramajunk.

Best to all.

  

1310716_tn?1287786104
by james22778, Dec 08, 2010
hey their  talking about buying things i never bought anything online till i started taking this stuff i wasted a lot of money on junk i didn't even need i even wasted over one hundred dollars on a stupid thing that puts pictures of stars on my ceiling  stupid huh but after i read through your posts i said hum i did that stuff also and never thought that the pills was the reason why i always said quitting is the easiest thing to do its staying quit that's hard if i had a penny for every time i have quit this stuff i would be rich hope everyone has a great evening ttyl

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 08, 2010
Hi.  Sleep completely eluding me.  Been searching the internet for as much info on peripheral neuropathy. Apparently one of the many pain meds to help ease it is --yea you guessed it...tramadol. Am now wondering if the tram has been masking the pain for all these months and now, as it gradually leaves my system the nerve pain kicks in.  Anyone with a similar condition -- would love any feedback on this.  I wondered at first if this was the restless leg synd that everyone talks about - It certainly comes under this category but is like a million tiny pinpricks in the legs.  As I got more and more zonked out on Tramadol I stopped doing yoga - much much less exercise all round.  I have to start a new programme as soon as my energy returns- this is slightly worrying.  I already feel my head clearing -- this is great.  It was the mental fog that eventually scared me to do something about the dependancy.  And all the time the doc just gave me month after month supplies.
You clearly have considerable pharmaceutical knowledge Madtram - it is helpful-very helpful - thanks.  I read one of your posts from last August with a link in it to a programme on C B T. I looked through it today and have signed up! Again -many thanks.
Although I have used tram for a year - prior to that I've used opiods for years for back problems - always prescribed.  I know my CNT has had a bashing.  Just want to settle it down now.  However I do suspect I will have to have some form of pain med for the neuropathy and spine.  Steering clear of narcotics and going with OTC meds may not be strong enough.  I do want to explore homeopathy and ayuvedic medicine.  My retlationship with pain has to go through some catharsis.  Everything in my life has come to a head at this time.  I have to make mature decisions. Thank god the tram is slowly leaving my system.  If the depression and fatigue will only diminish - maybe I can start to make those wiser choices-thanks for listening.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 09, 2010
Hi Everyone

                 I haven't been home much in the last 24hrs and stayed at mum and dad's last night so I am now busy catching up on all the posts.  Yesterday I made it to my second yoga class this week.  I figure that when I've got energy I'm going to use it on healthy things.  At the end of my yoga class we do a silent meditation and prayer which we wend out to whoever we think needs it.  All this week I have been sending it out to all the Tram Warriors out there so I hope it is helping.  The prayer goes:
           May they be Happy
           May they be Healthy
           May they be Free
           May they be at Peace
           May they Follow their Soul Path.

          I've been busy these last 2 days.  I did a 3 hr job yesterday morning - first work outside the house in over 3 months.  I wasn't bouncing with life and energy but I did enjoy being out and talking with other humans.  

                 I'm still having to take seroquel at night to sleep.  I have tried several nights not to take it when I have felt that I might be tired enough to sleep with just the melatonin and or the herbal 'sleep' tabs but have always had to get up about 2 hours later and take a seroquel.  At least I'm getting sleep these days which makes a huge difference.

                 Sorry to hear about your PN Lizzie and not sure what you can do for it.  I'm not taking anything for pain at the moment and just using lots of heat packs.  I thought I would wait for a couple of months to see what pain is actually still there after really getting rid of all of the effects of the tram then look at what to do about it (whatever the remedy it is not going to involve any prescription meds ever).  My physio and I are working really hard on the thorasic part of my spine so hopefully that will improve bit by bit.

                 Hi to the new faces.  I'm sorry you have to be here but very happy that you have found this great support group.
                
I hope you're sleeping Lizzie
                
                  

                

Avatar_f_tn
by muchforgiven, Dec 09, 2010
Hi everyone, esp. the new warriors. Just to update, I have been taking Tramadol for about 2 yrs., for the same reasons most of you were taking it. I was amazed at the effect. i had energy, no pain,no anxiety(which i have struggled with my whole life).I thought, this is great and not addictive, or so my Rheumatologist said. I bought into it even though there was this little voice telling me this was too good to be true.
I have experienced all of the things lately that you talked about Kriste, shopping online for things I don't need, not going to the gym, not wanting to be with people much even my husband, and worst of all the feeling of separation from God.
I was taking 5-6 50 mg. tabs. a day. I began tapering before Thanksgiving. Today I am starting 2/day. So far the withdrawal has been bearable but I am still afraid it is going to get so much worse when I do CT.
I have a break starting the 16th and I plan to jump then. I pray for the strength and the firm desire to do it. I am in limbo now.
I have gotten so much encouragement fro you who are recently going through CT. Lizzielang, SheLiz, ghostman and anyone I have forgotten.
Oh and my brain and my memory are gone. I have trouble remembering the simplest things. And yes, the wt. gain after losing about 10 lbs. seemingly for no reason, not able to put it back on for a yr. and a half, and now i am gaining rapidly.
I seems like all the good things this drug did for me, it is systematically reversing.
I have looked into the future and it is very bleak if I don't get off this merry go round with the devil pill.
I need this journal and your postings to give me the drive to do this.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 09, 2010
It makes me so sad and yes, angry, to see how many of us were duped by this horrible drug.  I don't think any of us thought this drug would take us here.  But it did.  And now we're suffering, while the Dr.'s and drug manufacturers are all sleeping well, without a care in the world.  What happened here?  And why is it still happening?  Doesn't the medical industry know yet to stop giving out this drug?  How many more people have to suffer before they realize it has to stop?  This is as unfair as it gets.

1066768_tn?1315755925
by TheUltramateWarrior, Dec 09, 2010
Good Morning All !

I remember that I seen something that I indeed researched and found most useful within this journal and it was mentioned a few times by certain people here and I am sure some of you all know of it.It is something that will indeed help people feel better and it is a documented fact and it is relatively cheap and I tested it out and found that it indeed helps.

L-Theanine

It is an amino acid within Tea Leaves and until I found out this morning there is a myth that Green Tea had more of it per serving than Black Tea.
I have found recent documented testing that proves Black Tea is the L-Theanine champion.
Lipton regular Black Tea is what I have and I am going to post some links to their site and a few other links to other sites that speak about L-Theanine and its benefits/regardless of Tram withdrawal of not.
One link talks about how Green Tea was thought to have more of it than Black Tea until it was proven otherwise recently and that is good news indeed seeing as Black Tea is usually cheaper.
So anyways L-Theanine releases Seratonin and Dopamine and A little Gaba as well and even though it has caffeine the effects of L-Theanine make for a relaxed but Focused/More Alert mindset along with increasing Alpha Brainwave activity.
I would say about 4 or 5 cups of strong Lipton Regular Black Tea should help put with anybody in a Tramadol withdraw battle and it is nice and hot as well or cold if you prefer.
Yeah so regardless it is a good reason for me to cut down on coffee and drink Lipton/Black Tea whether I am detoxing or not.
That is all for now and yeah try it out and thank you to the original people who mentioned this before and now there is more reason and information about L-Theanine.
I just wanted this to be up just in case it was not known yet by someone.
Later On and Goodluck All !

T.U.W.

1066768_tn?1315755925
by TheUltramateWarrior, Dec 09, 2010
links about Lipton regular Tea and its L-Theanine content are below and they are now advertising about this Amino Acid on the label of their products and their website has its very own L-Theanine website information page devoted to it.

Stay Strong !

I'LL BE BACK !


http://www.liptont.com/downloads/tea_health/beverage_guide/tea_health.pdf

http://www.lipton.com.au/ltheanine/facts/index.html

http://www.livestrong.com/article/288149-food-sources-of-theanine/

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T6R-511TNJ3-6&_user=10&_coverDate=03%2F15%2F2011&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=search&_origin=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_searchStrId=1573235796&_rerunOrigin=google&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=384664b24a4b7089079b6eb424f225ce&searchtype=a

Avatar_n_tn
by Kristen222, Dec 09, 2010
Hi everyone!  Just reading your posts has made me feel better although I have to admit that I am having a really rough day.  I have actually considered calling the doc for a prescription a few times and it is only a few minutes after 9 am.  

Clearly there are so many of us out there that did get duped by this drug.  

Thank you for the info.  I am going to go and try the tea.  I have been calling in sick to work and I cannot imagine anyone going through this and having to go to work.  It is worse than any flu or virus I have ever had.  I do not even want to talk to anyone.  It's like I can't think.  My vision is blurry and I am exhaused.  Day 4.  Does anyone know if this is normal?

And I am amazed how many of you have the shopping thing.  It is so weird.  The other addiction I picked up was diet coke however I am not sure it is related.

God bless you all.  Thank you for your posts.  They are keeping me from calling the doctor.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 09, 2010
Kristen222 - it is very normal that you're feeling this way.  It was actually a few weeks for me of not wanting to talk to anyone.  I too wondered how some did this while working.  I really respect that although it was definitely not something I felt I could do.

And I remember a while back about Emily's comments on shopping.  I believe Madtram explained the physiologial reasons for this behavior (thank you Madtram).  So So true.  I used to spend hundreds of dollars at CVS alone (and that didn't include my prescriptions!), sometimes a couple of times a week.  So weird but true.  I think I have enough toiletries to last me well into 2012 lol.

Hope everyone's day gets better.  TTYL.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 09, 2010
135 days for me today.  15 days away from 5 months!  Yay!!

1066768_tn?1315755925
by TheUltramateWarrior, Dec 09, 2010
Salute !

Ok quick update !
Yeah well day 4 is basically the turning point day for me usually.
I sometimes sleep on the night of day 4 and I start to get energy back on day 5 regardless of if I slept or not I can feel the chemicals returning and I can move and think better,though just a little bit,it is a sign of things to come.
Yeah after 5-7 days it is a heck of alot more tolerable.
So anyway I forgot to mention that you can get some L-Theanine supplements usually at places if you do not want to drink alot of tea as they would be more pure as well.
I actually take like 3-4 tea bags and soak the heck out of them in one cup of tea so I do not have to drink 4-5 cups and will get more benefit and effect quicker without all of the water.
Yeah it is just an idea that I wanted to share.
That is all and Goodluck !

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Dec 09, 2010
Good morning all!  Hope you are all doing well.   I'm starting to find myself "addicted" to this journal.   I couldn't wait to get to work today and check in on everyone.

muchforgiven:  I didn't realize we are on almost the same path.   I am also still taking tramadol, but I have cut my dose back because I have been feeling so miserable.   I originally just planned to cut back to see if I would start to feel better, but now that I have cut back I'm in limbo as well, trying to muster up the determination to quit after reading everyone's post.   But I don't have a real taper or quitting schedule planned.   And about things reversing, that's exactly what happened to me.   Every single good thing I got out of taking tramadol, has turned on me.   One thing that I am certain of after reading here is that quitting would be a very very good thing health wise for me.   I have so many problems that I never had before I started taking it.  I was planning to taper down very very slowly.  I am at 3 1/2 right now.  I would love to get stable at 2 per day and see where that takes me.   I also have 2 week vacation coming up during the holidays, and I have considered going CT over that time.   We are supposed to be going on a ski vacation though and I am not sure I can deal with that.

So, I will probably have to work during this taper.  I work at a law firm and I have to be on my toes pretty much all the time.   Very difficult.   The good thing is that I can read and post from here, and I can't usually do that from home because my husband is there.

Kristen:  I am in the same boat as far as not having anyone to talk to about this.   My best friend doesn't even know about it, and we talk every single day.  She knows I take something mild for pain occasionally (yeah right!).  My husband knows I take it, but he has no idea I am addicted, and he has no idea how much I take.   But at least we have someone to talk to here, and that has been a godsend.  Hang in there... you are doing so well and you have come so far.   Really, you are on day 4 now, right?   Day 4 is amazing!      

Personally, I have found that tramadol does work much like antidepressants do.   Once my doctor put me on Paxil at a particularly stressful time in my life.   I hated it because I felt like it blocked my sad emotions, but it also blocked the happy ones.  At that time, my kids were still small and I didn't want to be "blocked out" like that (If that makes any sense).  My kids are older now, and out of the house, and its just.. depressing!   Tramadol does block the emotions, but for a long time I enjoyed them being blocked!   I didn't have to be sad about anything.   I miss that sometimes.   I can't remember the last time I cried, which is weird, because I was always the type of person that would cry at commercials.   Now my husband cries when we watch sad movies, and I can't muster up a tear if I had to!   So I'm not looking forward to the river of emotion that is going to flood back into my life when I quit.   They have been held back for so long.

I keep coming back to everyone's comments on shopping... the CVS one was funny, IMDONE!  I have so many toiletries, and makeup, OMG the makeup.   Now I'm too tired to even use half of it.   And all the clothes I bought?  Well, now I'm too heavy to fit into most of them.  

And Kristen, you are right.   You mentioned earlier that your tolerance to pain meds was now so high... I think mine is too.   I had an outpatient procedure on Monday, which required me to have twilight anesthesia, and they told me it took a lot of medication to knock me out.   And I know you are right, if I did quit, it would be silly to think I could start up again and get those same, original effects out of the medication.   I have taken vicodin in the past, and got my dosage up pretty high.   At first, it really made me feel great, kinda high and happy.  But it got to where it didn't do that anymore, even after I quit it for a really really long time.   Even to this day, if I take one for pain, it doesn't affect me at all.   I would have to take so much to get high that I would just be sick and miserable so its not even worth it.   I suspect tramadol would be the same way too, and right away I'd need 8 pills a day again.

I'm so glad to know you are all out there.   Keep posting, it helps us all more than you know!      

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 09, 2010
OMG the makeup is RIGHT!!  What was I thinking - did I need the makeup for all of the faces I wore to hide my addiction?  What was I thinking???

Avatar_n_tn
by gunitbot6, Dec 09, 2010
i work at cvs pharmacy, i had to withdrawal while working, it was hell.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 09, 2010
Yeah, we've had a few pharmacists here over the years.  I always wondered what that was like to stare at all of those meds all the time.

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 09, 2010
It'll be a week tomorrow since I took that last tram.  I feel just like some of you say above.  I just don't want to talk to anyone. Still no energy-- it's just GOT to get better soon. I eventually slept last night at 5am. Woke at 8
I am gaining weight Uugh!  
I like the tea info.  I like tea - will get some Liptons-- thanks T.U.W  Am prepared to try ANYTHING if it will get me out of the sludgy place.
SheLiz you seem to have really turned a corner now.  I watch your post carefully - always thinking I will be there soon!
I have to be better by xmas.  Lots of family coming. ---a miracle to happen in the next 14 days.
To all you taperers and those just off - it is SO worth doing however gloomy I may sound.  I do feel  my head clearing - I do see my old self and thinking  returning - bit by bit... this is precisely why I had to stop poisoning my system with this terrible drug.  There will be routes I will find to get round the pain problems - they are fixable.  But I do not want to blow out my brain and memory any more.
Food now, more thinking- maybe a movie, then big deep bath and......please please some sleep tonight.  
Am with all of you - thanks for all the posts


Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 09, 2010
Sorry to be so thick but what does CVS mean??

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Dec 09, 2010
How did you get through it?   I would think that working at a pharmacy would require lots of time on your feet.   Luckily I have a desk job, but I am still exhausted.   I remember it being verrry hard to sit still when I quit before.   I felt like I was about to jump out of my skin, and everyone around me got on my nerves because they were happy and talkative.   It just enfuriated me for some reason!   Where did they get all this natural energy from?  I just couldn't understand it, nor could I deal with it.   I'm afraid to go there again.  I was such a mean, nasty, tired, sweaty person after I was withdrawing from just 2 or 3 a day.    
At least this time I will know that its just the withdrawal, and I guess that is the difference--knowing what to expect.  

Avatar_n_tn
by Kristen222, Dec 09, 2010
Yes.  How did you do it by working?  I am an emotional wreck.  Does anyone know if it is better to taper vs CT?  I am dying here.  

You guys are great.  You are keeping me going.

1395853_tn?1280355113
by MyFreedom, Dec 09, 2010
Good afternoon everyone ~

I can vouch for the L-Theanine. I am not a tea drinker at all (plus, I drink a fair amount of sodas and I don't need the extra caffeine), but I did seek out the L-Theanine supplements. I found them here in the US at The Vitamin Shoppe. I used them pretty regularly in the beginning and they seemed to take the edge the of the anxiety. I will still take one occasionally when needed.

lettuce and kristen ~ Don't worry...once you are tram free for a while your tolerance will come back down. I have been tram free for 8 and a 1/2 months now. In that time, I have had to take a vicoden/hydrocodone 3 times (when my shoulder pain was really acting up) and they worked just fine. I took the first two around 40 and 60 days out and the third about a month ago. During my tram days there's no way a single vicoden would've done anything for me because of my tolerance being so high from tram. I will say though that I don't really want them (opiates) anymore. All 3 times I've taken one I felt like I was set back in my progress. Even the one I took a month ago, at over 7 months out, caused some of the anxiety (mental and physical) to return for a week or two. I didn't like that at all. I'm going to stick to plain old advil as much as I can and only go to the heavy stuff when absolutely necessary. It's funny...during the tram days I wouldn't even give ibuprofen a second thought, but it's been absolutely fantastic for me. Tylenol....not so much.

:)



1395853_tn?1280355113
by MyFreedom, Dec 09, 2010
Kristen ~ The decision to go CT or do a taper has to be a personal one for yourself. You'll have to weigh your options and figure out which route is best for you. Some people have the mental strength to make it through a CT or a fast taper. For myself I knew neither or those were going to work (I failed at a CT attempt many years ago and never wanted to go there again). So, the only option for me was a very, very slow taper over about 5 months. I have to say that it was frustrating at times, but each time I would get frustrated it would just strengthen my resolve to be done with tram once and for all. The withdrawal during my taper was minimal and I never really had acute wd symptoms once I stopped.

In the end, it doesn't matter HOW we get to our goal, just as long as we make it to that goal of being tram free is what is important.

All of us here support you and are here to encourage you no matter which way you decide to go.

:)

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 09, 2010
Kristen - I think MyFreedom is right.  Whatever way works for someone is the right way.  I know that I personally could not do a taper as I would not have stuck to the schedule.  If I had them I would take them.  It was that simple.  I would not recommend cold-turkey from benzo's (I did that too and it was awful - really scary) and I've read it can be fatal, cause seizures, so..

Someone up above said something about getting meds in front of their Dr. and how they didn't "kick" in as quickly as they should because of their tolerance.  I remember when I had my knee surgery a few years ago, when they were giving me the meds, in the operating room mind you, it took forever to knock me out.  I'll never forget the expressions of the OR personnel and the Dr.'s like "omg what is taking her so long" like "what's wrong here?"  It was awful.  Those are the things I think about when I'm feeling grateful about being off the tram poison now.  One of the scariest moments of my past.  What a horrible, horrible drug, tramadol.  The WORST.

Avatar_n_tn
by Kristen222, Dec 09, 2010
Without this group, I don't think I could do this.  I greatly appreciate all of your support and kind words.  I may taper as I cannot even think straight.  I have to get off of this evil stuff.  I cannot believe how horrible the withdrawals are.  When I took them years ago and stopped I don't remember it being so bad.  This is awful.  Slow taper might be a better way for my body to handle this as I cannot even see straight.  

It is really scary what this does to your body and your mind.  I am an emotional mess as well.  It is amazing that four days off this stuff and it feels like I have been hit by a truck and my mind does not work.

I agree with the tea.  That did help.  And I am finding that powder vitamins in water seems to help a little bit.  I swear this is like the worst hang over I have ever had and then some.

Please hang in there all of you.  Just reading the experiences and knowing that I am not alone has helped so much.  It has meant so much to me.  When I am well, I am seriously considering doing something about this drug.  I fear that young kids might be taking it as well as it is so easy to get.

And get this, my doctor prescribes it as a muscle relaxant.  That is how it is presented.  Unreal right?

Hang in there everyone!

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Dec 09, 2010
I personally think a taper is right for me.   I'm too worried I will have some sort of seizure at work or while driving, trying to go cold turkey.   I guess it all just depends on the person.   I tapered from 8 or 9 a day, down to 3 1/2, over many many weeks, and I plan to go even slower from here.  

I'm going to try to keep tapering, and trying to adopt as many of the good habits as possible (the vitamins, exercise, etc. that people have suggested).  

But, if you have already gotten a few days out, I would probably just go with it and continue w/ the cold turkey.   You are almost over the first hump by now, and I think the humps get a bit smaller as you go, from what I hear.      

If I decide to go cold turkey near the end, I plan to get out and get all the supplies I will need, and start taking some of them for a little bit prior to quitting, and then do it.   That way when I'm overwhelmed by fatigue, I won't have to get out for a while.   Plus, since I'm trying to do this while working, I think a taper is best for me.



1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 09, 2010
Hi Kristen

               I'm also spreading the word about tramadol as much as possible and hope to do something a bit more active about it when I've got a bit more energy.

               I did a slow taper over a couple of months down to 2 x 50mg a day for ten days then I went CT.  I was thinking about dragging the taper out longer but I'm glad I went CT when I did as the taper would've just dragged out the semi-w/d stage even longer.  Now at day 17 1/5 I'm feeling much better and starting to get out and do a few things.  I'm still very tired but hey, my poor body has been through hell over the last few months so I'm happy to let it rest as much as it needs.  I've missed so many friend's 50th birthday celebrations and Christmas parties lately but I'm just not up to socialising yet.  There's always next year.   My own 50th is coming up in March next year and I want to be free on all medications by then.  In Jan I'm going to start going off the seroquel and fluvoxamine as well.  They won't be anywhere near as horrible as getting rid of tramadol but will still take a little time to adjust.  So, I'm going to be FREE @ 50!!!!!

Had a great physio session this morning so I'm feeling positive :-)


  

Avatar_n_tn
by Kristen222, Dec 09, 2010
SheLiz - that is awesome.  What great news.  17 days is great.  Are you feeling like your old self again?  I am actually feeling slightly lighter.  It is weird.  Not sure how to describe it.  How bad was the CT after you were down to 2 per day?

There are always more parties.  You are right.  Your body is the most important thing.  We have nothing without our health.  I look around at things like people with cancer and terminal illnesses and feel so guilty that I have a healthy body that I have abused and put junk into.  

I understand the not socializing.  I don't feel like talking to anyone either.  And I need to get back to work by Monday so I am going to need to snap out of it.  

Stay in the positive!!!

Avatar_n_tn
by gunitbot6, Dec 09, 2010
It was really hard to work on my feat for 8 hours , it was so extremely hard , anguish is the word here i am looking for. But i didn't have a choice as i have to work 5 days a week and i cant call in sick every time, and i couldn't take a vacation because of a few factors. it was hell because i would fall asleep at 6am, wake up at 8am, be at work at 9  so 2 hours of sleep i fealt like a zombie, but i had to fake a smile with the customers, it was hard just to stand in one place , really really hard, but i had to fight through it. now i am about 140 days clean and 80 percent better. I have a co worker who takes tramadol, that is where i used to get it so it was hard not to ask for a pill to save my day, but i didnt i knew i would just be back to having to take apill to feal normal, i was sick of that.

Avatar_n_tn
by Kristen222, Dec 09, 2010
Thank you for the info.  Would upping Zoloft work like trazadone?

1395853_tn?1280355113
by MyFreedom, Dec 09, 2010
Kristen ~ Be cautious with the information from willy. It is not allowed for him (or her) to post instructions on how to go about stopping. Not to mention I find it very offensive for someone to minimize what so many of us have been through. Saying things like "Do not listen to all the horror stories you have no idea what power this has on you" and "Sorry to take the air out of a lot of balloons here but it is Not that hard to quit these if you follow what I wrote here." I think those comments are an insult to those of us that are or have been through this hell.

gunitbot ~ I'm sorry for your rough day at work, but good for you for pushing your way through the day without caving to temptation! I still have a bad day here and there even at 260 days free, but it's much easier to overcome these days. It seems to farther away I get from tramadol the stronger I am. Hang in there....it'll continue to get better.

:)

599071_tn?1300072302
by madtram, Dec 09, 2010
Kristen,  quite a few people have used SSRIs like zoloft post tramadol & though they do help somewhat, no-one has reported the level of recovery that Willy reports.  Taking too much zoloft also runs the risk of serotonin syndrome.

Trazadone does increase serotonin levels but is structurally different to an SSRI & is much more sedating.  It is often prescribed as a sleep med.  If you are interested in learning other people's experiences with trazodone, there is a large data base of patient reports on this link:

http://www.askapatient.com/viewrating.asp?drug=18207&name=DESYREL

There is minimal risk to trying Willy's approach, however, the influence of mind over matter in Willy's case can not be overstated.  Tramadol is not just an SSRI & replacing serotonin has not been the answer to everyone's withdrawal woes.

I would love the Willy recipe to work for as many people as possible but you will see from the askapatient thread that some people seem to have an adverse reaction to this drug from the get go.

SheLiz, so glad you are feeling better & I hope that everyone else turns that corner very soon.

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 09, 2010
Thanks Madtram - at least I have hope now and the belief that it will get better.

Kristin - the CT was horrible especially the first week.  I didn't really feel anywhere near Ok until day 13 or 14 I think but have been pretty good since then.  Still exhausted but not that horrible, heavy fatigue.  I definitely could not have worked for the first 2 weeks but a lot of that was due to huge lack of sleep.  Once I gave in and started taking seroquel (which I had been prescribed several months ago because I wasn't sleeping due to tramadol but didn't know it then) I started to get a few hours sleep at night which made a big difference.  It is a slow process though.

6hrs away from 18 days :-)

Avatar_n_tn
by willy10, Dec 09, 2010
Well thanks madtram I did not wish you to take the heat for me on this.
My recipe works and will work for most. I am sorry if some feel I am discounting what they have gone through I AM not.
As per fact if I did not have this way through I would just be like them. This is why I posted this.
It works and not to disagree with what askpatient says Trazodone is well tolerated the dosage may need adjusting .

You have something here that I gave you as a gift a much bigger gift than you may imagine. I am very serious I am on day 5 and I feel great after coming off a 30 trams a day. Can anyone here say the same or come even close I doubt it. That in itself should make some here test what I say. Then you come back to the flock and share.

I am not someone special. There is some very specific action that tazodone works with that allows this to be.

Ok I am done I shown you a way take it give it a try it's a lot better than just plugging along thinking when will this stop

Willy

Avatar_n_tn
by lizzielang, Dec 09, 2010

Withrawal for each of us is different.  There are some givens with Tramadol w/d but after reading so many posts - no two people are the same.  Pain, and coping with it, is also extremely individual. No doubt in my mind that some have greater tolerance, and when this is coupled with a positive attitude, dependency on pain killing drugs is much less likely.  Links between pain and depression or, depression as a result of pain, are described in many of the posts here...  Coping mechanisms are going to be different for each person.  My story can resonate with your story but is also very different. The benefit of this site is to support, to empathize, to throw out coping mechanisms, to draw on others' experience and to minimize the extreme isolation that accompanies withdrawal. It works. It really works.  39 journals is its own testament.


1395853_tn?1280355113
by MyFreedom, Dec 10, 2010
Well said, lizzie. :)  What works for one person may/may not work for another. We all have similar roads, but we each have to travel it in the way that works best for us. I'm not sure a "quick fix" is out there for stopping tramadol..... and as weird as it sounds, I'm glad there isn't a quick fix because if it were so easy to stop (as willy explained in his now-deleted post) I'm certain I would be tempted to continue to use it without concern. I am a better and stronger person for having traveled this tram road. Don't get me wrong, I wish I'd never even been introduced to those little white pills in the first place, but because of it and because of the struggle of finding my freedom from it I have learned so much about myself, my strengths, my weaknesses and what I am capable of....I honestly don't think I could have come out on this end of the fight (261 days free) if it were easy to give up tramadol.

Love and strength to all!

:)

Avatar_n_tn
by floridagirl47, Dec 10, 2010
I was given Tramadol several years ago by my doctor because of severe joint pain.  He said it was a newer drug that didn't have any side effects, so I took it whenever I needed to.  I was working and needed relief.  No side effects... So, I was popping those things off and on all day.  When I started with the chills, jitters and bad stomach cramps it took me a while to realize it was the pills.  I would pop another to ease the effects.  I was totally miserable, so I finally decided I had to get off them, so tapered for two weeks of hell.  The last four days I went cold turkey and it was the best thing I ever did...  Those things should be off the market.  Some drs. are still prescribing them telling patients they have no side effects.  Who are they kidding?!  Please hang in there.  The effects of withdrawal don't last very long and you will be soooooooo glad you did...  Take care, and please tell your drs. about your experience.  No more Tramadol!

Avatar_f_tn
by muchforgiven, Dec 10, 2010
Went through a very rough day yesterday. I couldn't sit still, I had this buzzing in my ear, tired but wired,chills, and just generally felt wierd. I think I am going to camp at 2/50 a day for a while until i stabilize..I am so in awe of those of you who could go CT I guess I have a low tolerance for pain.Actually i hate pain, and have done most anything in my life to avoid it. That's how I got into this mess.I so long to be on the other side of this.
The black tea did work for me yesterday for the chills and settled me down for a little while. Today is a new day and I will continue the fight. Thanks for all your advice and encouraging posts friends.I know this is a blip in the road in the grand scheme of life and I too feel guilty when so many that i know are going through cancer and real ilness.
What is it they say? "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" So we will all be stronger for this.

1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 10, 2010
MyFreedom - you have spoken my sentiments exactly.  So there's no need for me to say more.

Thank you!  :-)

1498147_tn?1289015613
by SheLiz, Dec 10, 2010
It's 2.45am and my attempt to sleep without seroquel hasn't worked but I'm not going to take one.  It's Saturday tomorrow and I don't have to achieve anything so I'll just sleep when I can.  Restless arms/shoulders still driving me insane.



1416133_tn?1351126817
by ImDONENoMore, Dec 10, 2010
You're getting stronger and stronger by the day.  Good for you for refusing to take any meds!  This battle makes us stronger than we ever knew possible and that strength shows up in all kinds of ways.

Well done!  :-)

Avatar_f_tn
by lettuce303, Dec 10, 2010
Good morning all.  I actually got up this morning, got ready for work and left.   I had to get a money order on the way in.   It wasn't until I was in front of the cashier, having a very difficult time counting my money, that I wondered what the heck is wrong with me????   It was the weirdest feeling, to not be able to count your own money -- so embarrassing I felt like a child paying for their own candy for the first time!   I finally just threw the money on the counter and asked the cashier to please count it for me to make sure it was right.  Sheez.  

I realized that I actually got up and forgot to take a tramadol this morning.   That NEVER happens.  I thought I couldn't get out of bed without it.  Well, I was wrong I guess.   Anyway, I decided to go with it and see how long I could last without it, and I made it until about 11:00, when things started getting very stressful and I have several things to file with the court, and my head began to pounding and I felt like the computer screen was shaking.   I couldn't think, so I took 1/2 and I feel a bit better.   Maybe I will experiment with cutting out the morning dose and see how that works for me.   That would be a huge hurdle for me.

Anyway, I hope you are all doing well out there!    

Lettuce.



544292_tn?1268886268
by EmilyPost, Dec 10, 2010
This thread is closed.


Please come to Part 40


http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/251730/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-Part-40

Avatar_f_tn
by Lindalistless, Jul 21, 2011
Never been onany forum before, came across this one and have been greatly enspired by all of you. I been watching & reading for about a week and have decided Im jumping off. Took my last tram at 11:00pm on 7-20-11. Ive been on 400mg a day Tram and 2mg a day clonazapam for 5yrs. Been tapering on my own since Nov 2010. It has been hell on earth as you all well know. For the past seven weeks ive only been taking 1(50mg)pill every 12hrs and I have been TERRIFIED to cold turkey. Why am I so scared? Ive already come so far? I desparatehYly need encouragement!! I want my life back!!! I want my brain back!!!! I want my emotions back!!! I so want to be out o f this fog I have been in for 5yrs!!!!

Post a Comment