Stalemate!

Wrote this down the other day in a fit of silliness...

My penis and I got into a fight the other day.

It started out innocently enough; we were in “deep negotiations” over how we were going to spend the weekend.
But halfway to completing our talks, he became distant and unresponsive, refusing to answer despite all entreaties.  I applied stronger measures, threats of sanctions, but to no avail.
We’d reach a stalemate.
I tried an application of ice cubes in the hopes of revitalizing the talks, but still nothing, leaving us with a cold war. After a period of berating him, we left off with a threat of open warfare. Most dismaying!
I started by choosing a veto of all recognition of his status as a member of the body politic. He responded with sudden guerilla attacks, at inconvenient moments, usually while riding a bus or standing before fellow workers while giving daily reports.
Normally I don’t negotiate with terrorists, but the situation was dire, and a little embarrassing!

So we agreed to reopen talks, this time with a third party as a negotiator in the hopes outside stimulation of our talks would reach a happy outcome.
I’m happy to say, the talks are going nicely, and we’ve managed to lift the embargo and reopen all trade routes! All is forgiven for now.
However, there are still issues of war crimes to deal with. We may have to go to an open court to deal with issues of his violating the Geneva Convention.  And he’s talking of taking charges against me for using “overly rough and indiscriminate justice.”
*Sigh*
Who knew politics could be so hard???