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Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 40

Dec 10, 2010 - 319 comments
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tramadol

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ultram

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Recovery

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living

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Healing

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experience

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detox

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detoxication



Welcome Tramadol Warriors!

We ... turned .... 40 ...

LOL Welcome and I hope you will make yourself at home. Snuggle down, get comfy.

There's a lot of information and experience here with getting off Tramadol.  It's not impossible, lots of peeps here now living Tram Free Lives!


Love & Healing!
Emily








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by lizzielang, Dec 10, 2010
One week!  One whole week!!!  Feel good about it.  Today was okay.  Think I may be turning a corner.  No sleeper last night or the night before.  The tiredness is still here but it will go ---I know it will. This is a miracle for me.  Couldn't have done it without all of you out there.  What a journey this has turned out to be and it's only just beginning.....where will it lead...I know I am going to be changed. Aah life
Greetings and warmest wishes to all of you
lizzy

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 10, 2010
Lizzielang - congratulations!  One week is fantastic.  And it is a miracle.  Stay proud and keep going!! :-)

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by lettuce303, Dec 10, 2010
Congrats!  I have been following along and you are doing great!  Hang in there.  I hope to be strong enough to get where you are someday -- hopefully sooner than later.

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by muchforgiven, Dec 10, 2010
Yeah Lizzielang, Well done! You are on your way. Stay strong.!

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by Kristen222, Dec 10, 2010
Lizzlielang that is awesome!

Lettuce - hang in there.  You can do it!

For me it is day 5 and I was actually feeling a little better when wham! I now feel like I have been hit by a freight train.  Crazy.  I still feel in a fog but it is lifting a little.  But I am so depressed.  It stinks.

Hang in there everyone.  So glad I found this place

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by lettuce303, Dec 10, 2010
Yep.   I get depressed sometimes, and its usually just a situational type thing.   Something might get me upset for a few days, but when I came off trams before, it this is like what I think true, clinical depression would be.   Just an overwhelming depression and I can't put my finger on why I am actually so depressed.   I wish I could snap out of it and I just can't and it is scary.   Just  know that it is just the imbalance going on right now from the tramadol, and that it will pass!    

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by james22778, Dec 10, 2010
hey their congrats to you my worst part was a stupid feeling in my stomach like i was missing something and i just couldn't put a finger on it and no sleep i couldn't stand it but it is a great accomplishment to make it one week it only gets better from here just keep a positive attitude and always look forward good luck to you all

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by SheLiz, Dec 10, 2010
Go Lizzie - I'm so happy to see you've made the 1 week milestone.  That's one horrendous week you will never have to live through again and one week closer to having your life back (and more).  

I'm still tired and having trouble sleeping without help - the afternoon naps come easily though :-)  I am hoping to spend some time cleaning up my apartment today, it's become very messy and cluttered over the last few weeks for some strange reason ;-)  I've got nothing else I need to do today so the plan is to alternate some cleaning and sorting with some couch time.  

Lettuce - this horrible stuff really messes with our brains in a big way.  I hate feeling useless especially in from on strangers.

Sleep well everyone

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by Kristen222, Dec 10, 2010
Has anyone had this problem - one minute I feel like I have energy and I should be doing something, the next minute I completely crash with achey bones.  Time seems to be ticking by so slowly and I cannot understand why.  It is never like that for me.  Time usually flies.  I feel like I am losing my mind right now.  Is this normal?

Go everyone.  Hang in there.  This is going to be worth it.  I know it will be.

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by dcrouch77, Dec 10, 2010
HI. I just stumbled across this post. I was very addicted to tramadol for years. I would easily take 30 pills a day. I have had addiction experience with other pain killers as well, but i still think tramadol was by far the toughest to kick. I had over a year totally clean. It does take about a month to start getting all of that normal good energy back. But if you make it pass the 5 to 7 day hump. Each day can feel better and better. I have taken tram on and off after the clean year. I have a prescription to deal with a pinched nerve in my neck and back. I have learned a great way to deal with the detox of tramadol. If you can get a prescription for wellbutrin from your doctor, do it. I have tried many other anti-depressants, this one is by far the one for addiction. It targets the dopamine in your body, where most other ones are s.s.r.i. Plan your detox out. Start taking Wellbutrin at least one week or more, prior to your detox. Also, if you can spend a week gradually reducing the amount of tramadol then do it. Sometimes my will power is good, sometimes it is not. The wellbutrin will help a lot with the depression, but more importantly, it will help with the tired, lethargic, lack of energy. So you will mostly be fighting the physical and mental part of detox. But you will feel better quicker, with energy to get out and go somewhere. That is a must in detox. Get out and occupy yourself. If you stay at home thinking about it, you will be in your own nightmare....hope this may help someone...

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 10, 2010
Hi Kristen222,

Madtram may be able to explain better on the hows and whys on this - but I believe the back n forth feelings you're having with the instant energy and then subsequent crash is very normal.  I know that tramadol, or any opiate for that matter, really messes up our central nervous system.  It takes some time, some real time, for it to balance itself out.

This doesn't mean you won't continue to feel a little better each day as your system evens out.  You will notice the improvements, albeit small sometimes, but there nonetheless, with each passing day.  I believe I'm finally at the point where those symptoms have all but disappeared.

And my concept of time has returned as well.  Everything, and I mean everything, felt like it was moving in slow motion in those early days.  I would be laying down, trying to sleep of course, and it would feel like an hour had passed as I tried to fall asleep.  But I would look up at the clock and it would be a mere 5, 7 sometimes even 3 minutes only that haed passed.  It was very very weird.  Maybe this time is supposed to move slow so there would be no way we could ever forget it?

And I can assure you that you are NOT losing your mind.  It's the drug talking.  I would just keep telling myself, during those overwhelming moments, that it was just the DRUG talking.  That may seem simple, but it worked.  I know, for myself, that I would have to repeat this over and over until I realized it was true.  I guess I'm a slow learner.

You're doing so great so just expect nothing from yourself right now except to eat, sleep and move whenever possible.  It's all about getting back to basics now.  I would remind myself of the things my Grandma valued, good food, comfortable home and a clean home.  Cooking, taking care of her home.  All of the things that don't really seem to be valued in this world anymore.  Seems to be more about "marrying a millionaire" on TV or becoming a star simply because your family has money.  Such strange values and priorities being touted now to the public.

I say stick with the basics and you can't go wrong.  Hang on you'll get there.  In fact, you're on your way right now.  So hold on it will get better!

:-)

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 10, 2010
Sorry - didn't mean to come across like some stepford wife, or June Cleaver (not sure if you're old enough for these references? lol), but please know I consider myself an equal in my marriage (my husband does his own laundry, half the cleaning and cooks all the time!).  I guess I just found the simple things in life comforting during those days.  I remember I told my husband, before we were married, that if he was looking for a "maid" or another "mom" he had the wrong girl!

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by james22778, Dec 10, 2010
i also would feel like that and then be cold one min and sweating the next and time drug by some of the longest days of my life i think were in those first few days after i quit i haven't posted on here in a while but i still return and read them often just thought i would join in and post a little have a great evening

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by ghostman, Dec 10, 2010
Im at day 15 and im glad to know im not the only one that has been completely clean for this long and almost clinically depressed. I mean, I must have been taking more of it and a lot longer than I did when i quit in the past. 15 days after taking anything, im still fatigued. Im having cold sweats at night and this restless legs crap is still lingering. The restless leg thing is tolerable, because I am sleeping pretty good. The worst part is this overwelming depression and complete loss of a desire to do anything. I figured 15 days into this, it would be gone. Most of it is, like that gut wrenching first week. However, the biggest part is really bad depression. Just a general feeling of worthlessness. I dont laugh, I dont cry, its almost like I have no emotion at all, except for this zombie like depression. As long as im no the only one that has been clean this long and still withdrawling.

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by SheLiz, Dec 11, 2010
Hi Ghostman

                   I'm at 18 1/2 days still having a lot of trouble sleeping and have very little energy. I have about 10% enthusiasm for life.  I'm not depressed but I'm definitely not excited about anything either.  The restless arm/shoulder is sending me insane and much worse when I lay down to sleep, of course.  I seem to improve in stages rather than daily and it's such a slooooow process.  I haven't seen any improvement for about 4 or 5 days now (in fact my restless shoulder and insomni seem to be worse) so maybe I'll see a bit of a change in the next few days.  I still don't want to go anywhere or do anything but I am making myself go out for a walk every day.  I feel good when I start to walk but get tired pretty quickly so don't go too far from home.  



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by ghostman, Dec 11, 2010
Yes, its not like a sadness depression, its more like just no desire to do anything. When I go to sleep, I sleep pretty good. However, im suffering from insomnia aswell. It's like I sit here very tired, but no desire to fall asleep. Its like im forcing myself to stay awake. Plus, the restless leg stuff went away for about 5 days. Then, all of a sudden, it started coming back. Plus, I started jerking again. Not nearly as bad as in the begining, but it did come back after being gone for almost a week. I have trouble concentrating too. Someone can ask me a question, and its like I cant get the words to come out. It's just going to take longer than I thought. I have no desire to take any pills for it, but also, it's like I cant even be happy that ive been clean for 15 days. I mean, I know its got to be a really good thing to be off that stuff for this long, but im failing to feel the happiness and gratitude. Man, that stuff really screwed me up bad. This is just the process our bodies have to go through from using it for so long. Our bodies are having to learn everything over again. Emotion, sleep, everything. It just isnt going to come back overnight, but this is ridiculous!! I hate to discourage anyone, because I still stand beside my decision to quit, I just have to tell on it, or it would drive me out of my mind.

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by rt35630, Dec 11, 2010
Hey y'all. I'm from Alabama in the southern US and it means "you all." I guess I have been on tramadol for well over a year. Just don't know if it would go back far enough to say two years. I have decreased my intake from 15-18 50mg pills a day to 9-11 pills. I had some pretty significant symptoms for about a week, but they have mostly evened out.

I hate to be crude, but I want to share some things and find out if this is good/bad/doesn't matter.

All of a sudden, I have gone from going to the bathroom to "poo" about once a week (and having to fight to get the job done) to going almost normally every day or two. I know to expect diareha later, but could reducing the amount I am taking be somewhat helpful to my body?

Also, all of a sudden, I find I am wanting sex with my partner and my body working normally increasing. I had sex twice today. Usually, once a month is enough. My partner isn't complaining :-) You males out there find the drug negatively impacting your husbandly duties?

I am really hoping to get some positive feedback here. I need to start another taper-down, but I keep telling myself that the status quo will be better for me to get my work done successfully and wait until after Christmas to taper. I am wanting to cut the intake yet again and see if some other things get better? I need to see results for motivation and I hope maybe these are good things. I already told everyone I no longer have body jerks at night which I did every night when on the high dose.

My partner has never lived in a house, so I rented one today. We are keeping the apartment through January, and I am hiring a moving company rather than self-moving like I usually do, so the move will not be stressful. I actually hope having a new place that needs pictures hung, etc, will be good for me as I do the big reductions in January and maybe February. Joe stopped smoking (a 2-pack per day habit) and stopped weed recently. He deserves this house and the money we are saving from his quitting will more than cover the extra expense. He is the main reason I am quitting and we are going to NA together. I won't always do the right thing for myself, but I will for someone I love.

I am so afraid I will get upset and go right back to my 15-18-20 a day habit, and I can't do that. I am NOT going to be controlled by this pill!

I hope everyone is doing the best you can at keeping the positive energy flowing. It really helps when you get those RLS moments or bouts of insomnia (like right now for me it is 3 a.m. and I ought to be asleep, but rather than get mad, I came to a little mini-meeting online. Thank you one and all for all you do for me and each other. Peace!







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by ghostman, Dec 11, 2010
Rt, I was severely constipated for a week after stopping. I never had diareha though, it just went from severely constipated to regular. When I was on those pills, I had severe erectile disfunction. Plus, I had no desire to have sex at all. Now, my sexual functions have returned. Although, ive been celabate for almost 3 years, it still works if you know what I mean. But yes, those pills completely messed up my ability to acheive an erection, with a woman or by myself. Even though everything in that department has returned to normal, the depression has left me with no desire. That comes back aswell in my experience.

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by Slowandsteady, Dec 11, 2010
Well, I've sure been here before.

I believe this is the third or fourth time I've gone cold turkey.

I go for months, lose all symptoms, and tend to forget the hell I went through. I'm 20, away at university though go home in the holidays. That is my downfall. My parents both take this drug, and I cannot in any way try to even show them how it's controlling them, because they think i'm too young to understand what they're going through.

You see they dont know I take them, I'm self medicated, no evil doctors, just an innocent question of "Can I take anything for this cold mum?" led me to a 500mg a day habit over years. I bought them online. I realised they were controlling me, I stopped. Went home for the holidays, saw them there in the drug cabinet, and thought, one wont hurt, right? Wrong. This has happened multiple times.

I'm on day 3 now, pushing through the restless legs, shivers, runs, brain zaps, migraines, insomnia and hell. I know the end is just around the corner, I've done this so many times I know exactly where I am and how long it will take, though it NEVER gets any easier.

I swear down now, I am sick of being controlled, sick of coating my life in a tramadol haze. Sick of the fake well-being, the fake carelessness about anything. Sick of never truly laughing, and sick of never truly crying. The sad thing is I dont think my girlfriend has ever seen the true me because of these devil pills. She's seen what they have made me. A lazy, unemotional blob, only thinking of my next fix, counting tablets, hours, days. I've had enough. No more.

I vow today, I will fight this, with the help of all of you as I have done before, and I will be here for you, those of you in your early dark days along with me, those of you months ahead with straggling symptoms. WE will do this.

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by dcrouch77, Dec 11, 2010
Great post Slowandsteady! we have and do share the same battles....i was stupid enough to start again after a YEAR clean!! but somehow have kept it from getting out of hand...i catch my pill intake increasing...then i run out...then i detox...will be clean for weeks or even months....then it starts again...i too have done it damn near 100 times in 5 years! so i am very aware of what it feels like and what it takes to get through it...like i mentioned in my earlier post, the best thing i have done is taken wellbutrin...you get over the detox much faster if you start taking it a week or two before getting clean...and believe it or not, it seems to help feel better...i don't wake up and start thinking about pills, because i actually feel good now....the best thing that came from my clean year was remembering how good you can feel without pills....so if i do slip up, and take some for a few days or weeks, my mind is strong enough to know i can kick this, and i WILL feel way better...i am no longer plagued with the helpless feeling of thinking i need pills to be happy...best of luck to you suffering...i truly feel you.

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 11, 2010
Ghostman:  Be patient with your recovery.  Everyone has a different course of recovery, but I would say from my own experience, the energy is much better by 30 days and continues to improve every week after that.  I am at about 4 mos and my energy is totally back now.  I never thought it would happen,  it did for me and it will for you.  I also had a lot of trouble with foggyheadedness ( is that a word?)  This was bad for me thru about 3 weeks, then it has slowly but surely lifted and not returned.  it is a little bit up and down, one day I would think- "wow I feel great" and the next day I would feel weird again.  But hang in there. It takes some time for your brain to heal.  It will happen!  

Sheliz: my recovery was similar as you describe yours.  It was in stages.  I would stay at one level and even feel like I was not moving forward, then suddenly I would have a really good day and move to a higher level of "good".  It's almost like walking up a mountain via a bunch of long flat plateau levels.  You make a new step up and it takes a little while to get to the next level.  It is easy to get discouraged, but just keep on your plan and don't give up!!  You will make it back to being yourself again.  I have done it after 10 years of tram addiction.  I can't believe how good I feel now.  

I do not want to discourage anyone trying to get off this horrible stuff.  I just want you all to know how it will most likely be so you won't give up the fight!  It does take a little time to feel better.   It is worth all the agony to be free.  Free of the bondage of thinking you have to take a pill to feel good- it's a lie!  

Blessings to all who struggle here.  We share a special bond.  

Beth

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by SheLiz, Dec 11, 2010
Thanks for your encouragement.  It feels just like lots of long flat plateau levels and I'm looking forward to the next one.  I had a pretty good day yesterday energy-wise.  Was on the go (slowly) most of the day and achieved a few things.  Waited til I was nice and tired before I went to bed at 1.30am then after tossing and turning for 4hrs I gave up and got up again.  So, the insomnia is still a major problem unless I take a seroquel which usually gets me to sleep and keeps me there for at least 4-5 hrs.  I really don't want to have to take them every night but I just don't sleep without them.  I am still taking all the other natural sleep remedies but they might as well be caffeine pills for all the help they give.  So, I'm really not sure what to do.  Without sleep I am useless but I'm trying hard not to rely on 'fake' sleep from the seroquel.  I'm just so sick of all medication I want to get rid of it all right now.

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by gunitbot6, Dec 11, 2010
Its en EXTREMELY slow process healing form Tramadol,  it took me almost 2 months to be able to fall asleep at around 1 or 2 am, it took me 2.5 months for my restless  back to ease  up and it took me 3 months until i stopped feeling very fatigued. now around 140 days clean i am still not 100%, i do have 80% of my energy back , my back only feels restless some days,(but as time goes on less and less). and i am able to fall asleep anywhere between 10-12 O'Clock, So please don't get disappointed if you expect something to get better by new years. especially the heavy fatigue, my worst enemy while withdrawing.

i have to say it again , Its en EXTREMELY slow process healing form Tramadol,
                                

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by rt35630, Dec 11, 2010
I really appreciate reading all your posts - sheliz I am following you since I found you at the beginning. It is great to hear of every positive baby step in your recovery. Your journey is helping me prepare for mine. I am so grateful for you, and everyone else here. I can't wait until I am the clean one helping others like us.


Randy

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by SheLiz, Dec 11, 2010
Thanks for the reassurance Gunitbot - I keep telling myself that it is all 'normal' at this stage but I need to hear it from others as well sometimes. I just need to let out my frustration with it all too and who else can I really complain to but y'all here :-)  My goal is to be 100%

I'm so happy that I can be a help to you, Randy. I try to write most of what I'm feeling and I know I repeat myself sometimes but I'm trying to get down as much information as I can for future readers.  I know I was so amazed at reading everyone's posts when I first found the site, it was such a relief to read about my symptoms in other peoples stories.  I wish you peace and happiness as you go through your process.

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by SheLiz, Dec 11, 2010
That should read my goal is to be 100% by my 50th birthday in March next year so that gives me heaps of time.

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by gunitbot6, Dec 11, 2010
you will feal much better by march  sheliz so thats something to really look forward to.

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by lizzielang, Dec 11, 2010
Haven't been able to post today--- so heavy, depressed, tired. weepy.
Feel a fool for my triumphant post yesterday- thought I was through the worst.  Even though everyone says this is not a linear recovery - I felt to hopeful yesterday.
Reading Ghostman, SheLiz and Randy,Beth and Gunibot has brought things into perspective. I feel humbled, bit sad, but strengthened to go on....and on...whatever.    Tramadol takes its toll and wont let you go in just one week.
Have to just 'day at a time' it-- look out for those plateaux.  
My god---thank you all for being out there-

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by jenny06xx, Dec 11, 2010
Hi I'm currently day 1 cold turkey off tramadol and panicking!!!
I take 400mg per day with a few extra in the night sometimes for crohns disease pain control, basically I've been too Sick this week to put in my script so I won't get any till Wednesday it's Saturday here, I've come off a massive codeine addiction cold turkey only the start of this year 20 or more 30mg tablets per day plus over the counter meds added.
I was told they were not addictive etc an just thought I'd look up tramadol withdrawal just in case !!
Oh dear am I in the ****!!! I cannot get any more till Wednesday so what do I do I'm scared I'm gonna have a seizure now after reading a the stories, well it's too late now maybe I'll manage an not bother picking up the script at all after reading the problems with it!
Any advice do u think I'll be ok or at least not have a seizure?

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by jenny06xx, Dec 11, 2010
I needed to add I'm also on corticosteroids ( prednisolone ) a tapering schedule reducing 5mg per week for crohns disease from 40mg now at 15 mg  will this add to my problems or could it help me

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by Slowandsteady, Dec 11, 2010
I can't tell you that you wont have a seizure. But I can say it is highly unlikely. You're more likely to have a seizure from a tramadol overdose than cutting it cold turkey. I've never had a seizure either way, but to be honest I wouldnt worry about it too much. Obviously i'm not a medical professional so take it with a pinch of salt.

I've had exactly the same problem as you jenny! I took more than I had and have waited so long for my next script that i'm not picking it up, i'm not going through this for nothing.

I hope i've made you worry a little less about the seizures, obviously it's not recommended to go cold turkey, but sometimes it can't be helped. I've never had a problem with seizures through it though. =)

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 11, 2010
There is only one thing I can say.  It takes TIME to feel better.  Believe me, I know exactly how all of you feel.  You're starting to wonder if you made the right decision to quit, right?  You're starting to think "I'm never going to feel better, why did I do this?"  Those feelings are SO normal let me tell you.  One day, maybe 2, 3 or even 6? months out, you're going to say "thank g-d I did this, I never thought I could feel like myself again".  Please, please, please, just hang on - you're almost there.  If you give up now, you'll never know how close you were.

Please take it from a tramadol withdrawal and recovering "expert".  It will get better if you just hold on a little longer.  Please don't miss out on having a real life again. Please!!

My very best to all of you.  I know you all can do it.

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by madtram, Dec 11, 2010
Jenny, there are no reports in the medical literature of people having seizures withdrawing cold turkey from tramadol.  There have been occasional reports on this website but we don't know what other medications they were on.  The biggest risk with tramadol is to have big increases in your dose so be careful if you do pick up your next script as going from zero straight back up to 400mg plus may shock your system.

By Wednesday, the withdrawals will probably be peaking & it will be very tempting to start up again but you will also have a great investment towards staying off if you decide to get free of the tramadol.

The anti-inflammatory effects of the prednisone should help reduce the withdrawal stress somewhat.  If you decide to stay off the tramadol you may want to talk to your doctor about holding your prednisone dose steady until the withdrawals have stabilised.

SheLiz, you are going to have the birthday of your life.

Ghostman & anyone else still suffering from depression, have you tried St John's Wort?  A recent study has indicated that it can work even for major depression.

Battle on, warriors.

Tramadol withdrawal is a forced endurance march & sometimes it feels like you are marching to nowhere but every day cells in different areas of your body are recovering their memory of how to function without tramadol.

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 11, 2010
It does feel like sometimes you are stepping backward or not making progress, but i found that soon after i had those thoughts, i would step up to a new and better place.  It happened like that for me numerous times. During that first 30 days, I just kept going the best I could-  feeling so tired, bad, and just weird.  But I was determined to be free.  I had no one but all you good people here to tell about my feelings.  But, as weeks passed (and yes time seemed to go by soooo sloooow), I began to slowly feel better.  I am mostly better, but if I get too stressed, I see some mild symptoms return. I do continue to have some anxiety at times.    Ultimately, getting off trams was one of the hardest things I ever did.  

Beth

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 11, 2010
Sheliz-  your birthday will be the best one yet!  On that day you will look back to this time and be so thankful you hung in there and made it thru the hardest part.    Madtram and imDONEnomore- I loved the way you describe it - you both are right on target!  Great advice!

Everyone just hold on, be gentle with yourself, plan ahead to reduce stress ( if possible...life sometimes gets in the way:), don't get too hungry, get as much sleep as possible, force yourself to be busy, take vitamins and other supplements, take lots of hot baths or showers, and be patient.  You will get better as long as you dont give in to the lies of the trams.  

Beth

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by SheLiz, Dec 11, 2010
Thanks Madtram, ImDone and Beth

            Having you all here with your advice and experiences makes this so much easier than it might've been otherwise.  

            



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by SheLiz, Dec 12, 2010
20 days!!!  I got a few things done today and went for a 20min brisk walk - then lay on the couch for 2hrs afterwards.  A pretty good day energy-wise - that's 2 in a row now.  My head is definitely clearer and I even took meat out of the freezer so I can cook something tomorrow night.  So, I'm thinking ahead and can imagine myself having the energy to cook :-)  

So, for those of you who are coming up behind me, hurry up coz it's not too bad at all where I am at the moment.

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by rt35630, Dec 12, 2010
I have GOT to get a hold on my rationalization that is is okay to cheat on Sunday because of work. I took two extra pills this morning, which means if I do what I promise myself, I will take less the rest of the day and end up awake all night long. I KNOW that the only benefit is feeling more "awake" and I also KNOW that I can do my job just fine feeling a little disconnected. Now, dealing with 20 loud choir singers is harder, lol...

Maybe my goal (something I need to have to feel like I am moving forward) should not be to step down until I get a handle on keeping my schedule. Joe (my partner) doesn't want to hold the pill bottle because he doesn't want to say "no." I am a strong enough person to do this.

Sometimes I think acknowledging myself as an addict is a self defeating prophecy. But it is true. Over the last 15 years I have abused at different times, ratilin, dexadrine, xanax, klonapin, hydrocodone, and now tramadol. If it can be used to change your state of mind, I will abuse it and take handfuls rather than the Rx amount.

Okay...well now I do have to get ready, paint a smile on my face and make Christmas come alive for 100's of people. I will enjoy it once I get there :-)

I love you all, and regardless of your individual spiritual philosophies, I pray that you each be energized by positive energy or the Holy Spirit today and always!

-Randy

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by sadman123, Dec 12, 2010
On 1/2 tab bid and feeling good, taper has been working good for me,being down this low in side the changes are not nearly as bad, I think my body has started to adjust to the low dose.  been busy so haven't chimed in recently.  This stuff is rotten, for you guys off for a few weeks now it seemed like, reading your posts, things were hard at first for ct for 1 week then slowly started to get a little better to feeling really good, then back to feeling bad- is that right- have wd symp fluctuated from week to week, from bad to good to bad?

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by lizzielang, Dec 12, 2010
day 9

Very tired but much better than yesterday. In fact day 8 was nearly as bad as day three-- so not to be repeated. Been out - met a friend - managed to talk normally for an hour or so.  That's a first.
Sleep is a problem- but knowing I'm not alone is helpful.  I give up trying after two hours and take half a sleeper. Sometimes works - sometimes the gods just want nocturnal activity - have to just go with the flow. I AM in for the long haul.
Big problem just now is bloat.  Drinking peppermint tea.  Any other ideas anyone? Anyone else with this prob?  I am slim normally and feel like I am carrying quads -- it is so uncomfortable. Taken the immodium, taken the probiotics, even taken the senacot...still fat tight belly. Help.
Re-read all the posts above-- they are so honest and helpful.  All the congratulations on getting to week one made me weep.    I'll never forget all of you with our strange pseudonyms.  To the few new people - this site is the best place to share, learn, vent and celebrate....keep coming back.   SheLiz- special thanks.  No news from sadman for a day or two.  Hope you're good.  All the oldies are so  helpful - to give of your experience sharing your wisdom is priceless to those of us in early confusing tramadol withdrawal.  Many thanks

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by Kristen222, Dec 12, 2010
Very rough day yesterday.  I still feel like I have the flu - more just tired and achey.  It's like my brain is just not willing to work and I cannot focus on anything.  And my eye sight is blurry too.  Thought I would feel better by today.  It is so weird.

I did find something to help with the sleep.  Since I felt so flu like I took Nyquil and I got 12 hours sleep.  Not too bad.  But today it is back to depression and exhaustion.  Can't wait to be done with this!

Keep going everyone!  We will get there

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by ghostman, Dec 12, 2010
Well, I would definity encourage everyone struggling to keep on keeoiing on. I was complaining about depression and all these things that were still happening, but as of last night and still today, I feel another breakthrough. Im on day 17 and it's really not that bad today. It was really weird, because after i came here and spilled out all of my concerns about lingering withdrawl, it seemed to drop dramatically. Just like sheliz said, it's like it changes very rapidly from bad, to a whole lot better. Sheliz, day 20 is freakin awesome!! I can say that day 17 is not so bad. I actually had a moment of clarity, where I was happy that I was this far along. Its really strange, because its like that long lasting fatigue lifted dramatically. I still have a little tiredness, but not what would be considered fatigue. Things are looking up!!

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 12, 2010
Congrats to you Sheliz of 20 days!!  You are well on your way now and past the worst part.

  Lizzielang- you are not far behind.  Day 9 is great!  I had stomach issues too- gas and bloating, but it did pass and now all that is back to normal.  I did use gas-ex and a little immodium.  Also the probiotics.  But your body just has to adjust. It will get there.  I did the same thing- just kept on (most of the time) going even if I felt completely 'out of body'- which was a lot at first.  I tried a routine at bedtime- helped me with sleep.

Sadman- I had some great days followed by a few that were horrible, but then I would step up to a better 'good' day the next time.  It is an up and down ride, but always getting better and better with time.

Kristen- nyquil works for some to help with sleep.  The depression and exhaustion will lift with time.  You can make it past this!  Just keep strong!

Rt- get a plan, write it down on paper so it is real, plan out your taper exactly to the end of it and flush the rest of the pills.  Doing that really helped me.  Flushing is recommended to help you to commit to the plan.  When your choir season is over, get committed and go for it.    

We must be angry at what these pills have done to our lives and our bodies and our families.  I also think it has been important to my recovery to admit to the addiction.  People from all walks of life are here on this forum.  We go to jobs, run businesses, go to church, live lives that are not stereotypical "addicts"- whatever that is.  People who know me would NEVER in a million years think I was addicted to anything.  It is a very humbling experience.  One that has taught me so much.  But no shame here.  We all understand each other.  I believe that once we are free of these pills, we can never touch one again or we risk the same fate again.    Sorry for all the preaching- it just spilled out.  I just want everyone here to be free and stay free.

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by lizzielang, Dec 12, 2010
Missed your post sadman--good to hear you're on such a low dose. I suspect you will want to take the plunge soon.
That first week was so difficult- then it's very different for each of us, some days ok, some days hell, the fatigue and insomnia seem to be constantly stalking me. Ghostman above is interesting - he seems to be breaking through - so roll on day 17 which from my present perspective is light years away. SheLiz has good and bad days too- but day 19/20 are her good days.   It's all so weird.  I don't like the depression- - if that would go -maybe the rest wouldn't seem so bad.  I keep wondering if I have become a chronically depressed person and have just been masking it with tramadol.  
Madram above seems to sum it all up when she writes: 'Tramadol withdrawal is a forced endurance march & sometimes it feels like you are marching to nowhere but every day cells in different areas of your body are recovering their memory of how to function without tramadol.'



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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 12, 2010
Hi Lizzielang,

I understand the depression.  It was so awful in those early days, so I began taking St. John's wort.  It has helped immensely.  I don't know how much longer I'll stay on it, I figured I'd give myself 6 months on it when I quit - that gives me a little more than a month.  But I'm really surprised how much it has helped during this time.  The depression, and anxiety, were particulary difficult battles for me too so it might be worth trying?

Bethwillprevail, I so love reading your posts.  I remember I would read others posts when I first quit and how they talked about how great their life was without tramadol and it was so hard for me to comprehend that it could really be better.  I think, in the beginning, I just told myself that it even though I was feeling awful, to just keep going.  Those were the words I would tell myself "just keep going, it's the drug talking!"  It was so hard to believe those words before.  Thank g-d I held on and kept saying it over and over again.  It was so hard to imagine life without tramadol.  Now I look back at that time and wonder how I got anything done being so doped up all the time.  I'm so grateful that I finally got here.  So very very grateful.

Glad to see everyone still checking in it's very inspiring!  Hang on everyone you're almost there!

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by muchforgiven, Dec 12, 2010
Hi Everyone,
2 hrs. from being Off tramadol for 24hrs. I decided I was feeling so bad during the taper, I might as well get this over with. Feeling very tired and shaky and not holding out much hope of sleeping tonight, but i will not turn back If all of you can do it, so can I.
Let's stay strong and cheer each other on,warriors. More later

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by SheLiz, Dec 12, 2010
Good work Muchforgiven,   that's one 24hrs out of the way and one day closer to starting to feel human again.  It's a long slow process but all worth it. Will be thinking of you.

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by Kristen222, Dec 12, 2010
You guys are such inspiration.  It is so good to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  You are right, no one would believe I am addicted to this stuff either.  I have a senior job, kids, run a household and have a million things - good things - going on in my life.  Yet this has been like a big bad dark cloud that had turned my life into work, chores, sleep.  It is so encouraging to hear how you have prevailed.  It is a struggle but after reading this, I know I can do it.

Also - to all you shoppers out there.  I have not felt the urge to shop in days.  

Stay strong!!!

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by legit9, Dec 12, 2010
I have been quite moved reading of the problems you good people have been having with Tram.  This drug has, for me, been a godsend with few negative side effects and no tendency toward addiction (and I have been taking it rather long term, in consistantly small doses).  It has, in fact made it possible for me to continue working with severe fibromyalgia and spinal arthritis.  The DEA pressure on doctors to refrain from prescribing pain medications for legitimate reasons is increasing in no small part because of irresponsible use.  So let me encourage your recovery - not only for your own sakes, but for those of us with legitimate need of these meds.

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 12, 2010
Kristen222 - you absolutely can do this.  Actually, you ARE doing this.  Someday you'll be on this forum talking to others to help them through and offer YOUR advice.  That day will come I know it!

And yes, never mind that the pharmacists at CVS must wonder what happened to me, I'm going to bet that CVS corporate is wondering where my dollars went too.  Yes, you will save money (just another bonus to being pill-free).

:-)

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by sadmama10, Dec 12, 2010
Hi everyone this is my first time on here & i'm not sure if I can quit i'm on day 3 & have some coming wednesday & not sure I have the strength to say no. why go so many days just to start all over again. i really dont know how to function when i go bk to wk 20 - 30 a day @ 50 mg on & off for the past 5 or 6 yrs i bought sleeping aids & the restless leg syndrome stuff otc not sure if i can take them together but i really dont wanna feel like this. i wanna feel good again but i wanna be clean for my babies.

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by madtram, Dec 12, 2010
Legit, not everyone became addicted to tramadol.  I & others never took more than a prescribed dose for our pain but nonetheless developed tolerance to the drug.  Because tramadol is more complex than a straight opioid, rather than the prescribed dose simply being inadequate for pain relief, we had to endure withdrawals even while taking as prescribed.

As a pain patient myself, I greatly sympathise with your position but you should not assume that everyone who has problems with tramadol has abused it.

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by madtram, Dec 12, 2010
Sadmama, at day 3 you already have a big investment towards being free of tram.  Your doses are dangerously high & I'm sure you have been told that if you continue this way, you have a serious risk of seizure.

There will be no problem taking OTC sleep meds with the Hylands RLS remedy.   Yes it will be tough but you will feel good again & when you do it will be without the costs to your health, (maybe even your life if you have a seizure while driving), your finances & your self respect.

It will be very hard to resist the pills if you have them so why not make the commitment right now & cancel your order or prescription.

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by SheLiz, Dec 12, 2010
Legit9 - you are so lucky that the tram has not effected you badly you must have an amazing body chemistry.  You don't have to use tram irresponsibly for it to cause problems.  I always took less than the maximum dose and there are others who have made it to this site who took no more than 2 a day for no more than a month or so before realising it was not what it seemed. I hope you continue to have a good experience with it.

Sadmama - Day 3 is often the worst so just get it over with and continue to head in the right direction. Day 3 can be an absolute horror but, as they say, it's always darkest before the dawn. I'm on day 20 and 1/2 now and I'm soooo glad I have gotten rid of this evil, lying drug.  As you said yourself, don't put yourself through these last 3 days only to have to go through them again down the track.  



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by james22778, Dec 12, 2010
hi their hope everyone had a great weekend snowy and very cold here today i wish the best for everyone that is fighting this battle i am  currently  still fighting this fight i still want and crave these pills even after stopping them a long time ago but i feel better than i have in a long long time hope everyone has a great evening and a better new day tomorrow

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by lizzielang, Dec 12, 2010
Muchforgiven- this is brilliant--you are on your way now-never look back.  Congrats on day one. I think we all walk taller for this- and getting that first week behind us is a huge milestone.
Sadmama -I'm thinking of you- don't throw those precious three days away...it definitely begins to get easier day by day.
I'm on day 10 but am so thankful I have stuck this out.  The group have kept me going - keep posting-it helps.  Kristen -you are doing well too- we are close in recovery- it's great to be getting through this- isn't it.
Thanks, ImDone, for the st John's wort advice,  Actually I have some in the house and have thought about taking it.  Something holds me back yet.   I want to give myself a chance to feel okay without it for now.  I feel I need to know how bad the depression really is.  If I still feel like this on day 30 - I will definitely consider it. I hope over the next 20 days many things will slowly change and improve.
Wishing you all good strength to face any Monday morning demons

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by sadmama10, Dec 12, 2010
thank you everyone for the positive words i tried canceling the order but they won't by the time they get here it'll be day 6. hope i can resist it. wow seizures huh? I didn't know that. That's really scary i didnt even realize i was takin that many til i kept running out 180 qty will last about 7-9 days it used to last 2 wks which was 90 a wk but it became not enough. thanks again

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by sadmama10, Dec 12, 2010
i dont even know how im gonna focus at work tmrw :(  its just not gonna be the same

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by madtram, Dec 12, 2010
Sadmama, it will feel worse at first but when it gets better you will be pleasantly surprised at how functional you are.  Tramadol suppresses one of the main brain chemicals used in thinking but at the same time perks you up with a stimulatory chemical so you think you are more effective with the drug but it isn't true.

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by tramatic, Dec 13, 2010
test

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by muchforgiven, Dec 13, 2010
34 hrs. without tramadol. I had some Oxycodone from my daughter so I did sleep last night. I am really frightened of the not sleeping for days at a time. I feel like I can cope with the WD if I can get some sleep. I have to work this afternoon so I hope I can manage. very achy physically and numb emotionally.
The thing I realized this wkd. is that the tramadol was turning me into a person I don't like. It is easier to lie, cheat and steal, and generally do things I know I never would have done in my right mind. It is like there are 2 voices in my head. One I recognize and one is like another voice observing and commenting. Probably not making myself very clear but it is very weird. Maybe I really do have a split personality! One thing I know, if I ever get through this, I will never be so ready to take a pill for what ails me. I am looking for some natural ways to deal with chronic pain and you have posted many good suggestions. Sorry for the rambling, I needed to get some things out and I have nobody to talk to since none of my family know. Oh they know I take some prescription med for my back pain but have no idea of the other life I have .
Congrats to all who are in the early days, Lizzielang,Sheliz,ghostman,sadmama.and anyone i forgot. Thanks for fighting the good fight

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by SheLiz, Dec 13, 2010
Yay!!!! 21 Days!!!! That's 3 whole weeks :-)  

I'm also having my 3rd good day in a row.  I got out and did a few things today, got a parcel sent off to my daughter in the UK, did 2 loads of washing, cooked dinner and got some sewing done.  I did these things coz I felt like it, not because they had to be done.  It's great to have some energy back.

I've still got some aches and pains and still having trouble sleeping but I'm feeling pretty good in general.  So, it's all good




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by SheLiz, Dec 13, 2010
Muchforgiven - whatever it takes to get some sleep at this time is a good thing.  Never being able to sleep was the most distressing thing for me in the first 10 days or so.  


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by tramatic, Dec 13, 2010
Hello all tram warriors. Long time lurker. I am a pro at quitting tram. Just not good at staying quit.

I have no innocent reason for starting this drug. I knew exactly what it was and what it would do for me, after I borrowed one, just one, from my spouse's prescription for a cycling accident. At the time we had just moved to a part of the States whose culture was profoundly disorienting to me, and I was having a lot of situational as well as clinical depression from a horrendous childhood. Nothing worked, I tried all the ssri's and snris. Enter Tramadol and I made a deal with the devil.

As soon as I took that first one, the depression was lifted, I started working more productively, the glass was half-full, even completely full and my life became like it used to be, BD - before depression. Motivated, energetic, focused. I am in a creative industry and I can't say the drug actually helped me work more efficiently or necessarily creatively, but it silenced those editing voices in my head and in a sense gave me permission to proceed with creative solutions that may have seemed too "out there" or risky in my non-tram state. Sort of the editorial permission of alcohol without the sloppiness. I relaxed and got into the flow, even grooving on the details that used to annoy and make me impatient. Maybe a bit like the experiences of people on recreational ADHD meds, as described on a 60 Minutes segment interview with students who took ADD/ADHD meds to boost their academic performance. In work/academics I have to say that Tramadol for me is a performance enhancing drug.

I am on day 3 of NoTram, not by any planning on my part. I started a taper but was too greedy with the supply so I ended up ct after 200mg 3 days ago. I've done this before, and did a taper as follows: from 6-8 50 mg tram/day to 2/day for 5 days, then 1.5/day, then 1/day, then 1/2. All stages for 5 days. With that taper I really had no issues except a very slight case of "the blahs" and minor RLS, for which I have both a prescription for Mirapex - because I had the RLS before I started with Tram - and the Hyland's Leg Cramps pills with Quinine. I also take 1 mg xanax nightly for sleep - it only makes me drowsy, with no "high" at all, so I have never become addicted. Except if I run out, then aaaaarrrrrrggggh.

I am doing fine right now with this ct due to some help as follows:

Some suggestions that have worked for me. I am not a doc, this is not medical advice.

1) Use an antidepressant. The brain zaps following Tram cessation even from as low as 25 mg are your neurons waking up and demanding more serotonin. ADs such as Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Effexor/Pristiq and the like, put immediate stop to this. Plus it will ease you through those wafting phases of utter and hideous sadness. Caution here on the Effexor: many people report Tram-like withdrawals form Effexor.

2) Get a prescription for Mirapex which I believe has a generic, Pramipexozole for the RLS. But truth be told I think the Hylands works just as well. You just have to take them more often.

3) Drink green or black tea. On and off all day. Or get the supps. The L-theanine contained therein will help your energy level much more efficiently than coffee.

4) This is controversial: If possible, you can graduate your withdrawal with tapered hydrocodone in small quantities. This helps energy level, helps the "flu-like feelings" and the all-body restlessness. Of course there is always the substantial risk of replacing one opiate with another, but for me at least, there is no withdrawal from the "codones". One day it's there, next day not. No extended physical or emotional symptoms and depression.

Here are some other musings:

1) On tramadol I was very cerebral, not so emotional. No interest in listening to music. No interest in sex. Off tram I feel more, the "good" as well as the "bad" and love music again. And sex-wise I suddenly become like those TV ads for erectile dysfunction. I start noticing buffed construction guys and with my spouse "The Moment" seems to come around all the time! Who knew? Plus, it's something to do while you are waiting out WD. Tramadol dulls or eliminates completely the sex drive. For me anyway.

Exercise-wise,Tram helped my workouts amazingly. I am sixtysomething and on Tram I run like a 40 yr old. Day 1 no tram I tried to take a walk, JUST a walk, and I was huffing, puffing, rapid heartbeat, feeling weak. That will improve, I know from past experience.

2) My digestive system works much better off Tram. Maybe TMI but I used to have to take an herbal "digestive" every night to fight constipation. I couldn't even pee without tremendous work, even with drinking a ton of water every day.

3) On Tram, the whites of my eyes are slightly grey - off tram they are white like an egg. Don't quite know what that means.

4) Tram for me was weight-neutral. I am a compulsive exerciser, except in the early days of WD, so that keeps things even no matter what or how I eat. In the beginning Tram lowered my appetite but as I went on with it, my appetite returned to normal. When in early days of WD, though, I am most assuredly NOT hungry.

5) And this is a serious health warning: I had to have a colonoscopy a while ago, and even though I listed Tram as one of my meds, in my paperwork, I did not list the high doses I was taking. I had also done a fast taper 3 days before the procedure.
Well, guess what - they had to keep adding more anesthesia because I was feeling everything, every twist and turn of that roto-rooter scope. I was moaning and groaning and I am sure driving the doc bonkers. Too bad, because he's a good one. After it was over, I was told I had to have my next one, in 3 years, under general anesthesia.

6) I've heard mention on here that Trazodone is a good remedy for the ailments of WD. It sounds good and my spouse takes it as a sleep aid. I personally cannot take Trazodone - in itself it gives me dry mouth, rapid heartbeat, and a muscle-weakness kind of effect. Which I already have from no Tram. You may be like this, probably not, but something to think about. Start Trazodone gradually.

7) A propos of nothing, really. What is all that sneezing about? I think Tram has an antihistamine effect. Yet on the other hand I am itchy when on it. On Tram: itchy but no sneezing. Off Tram: sneezing but not itchy. WTF?

Well, nice to be here - I've been coming here for an embarrassingly long time already so I feel I know you.

Will post more later.

tramatic





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by tramatic, Dec 13, 2010
Just wanted to emphasize that my above post is only my experience, not medical advice.

Also there is some concern over serotonin syndrome so I would carefully review the use of anti-depressants until I was clean from, or at a very low dose of, Tram.

tramatic

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 13, 2010
Welcome tramatic,

I have to comment on your no. 5 as noted above.  I can definitely relate.

I had to have knee surgery during my time with trams.  I remember after I was brought into the operating room the anesthiologist got started with me on the anesthesia.  They kept giving me more and more, waiting for it to knock me out.  I will never forget the looks on the OR staff and the Dr. like "OMG what's taking her so long?" "what's wrong with her" "is the machine working".  It was so surreal and in hindsight absolutely frightening.  Of course, they did finally knock me out, and at the time, it didn't even phase me.  That's how far into this horrible evil addiction I was that it didn't even PHASE me that something as strong as anesthesia could not knock me out.  WTH?  Actually, what I really mean to say is WTF???

Afterwards, in recovery, my surgeon came to me and said "so what are we going to do about aftercare meds?"  I answered simply "tramadol" and after a somewhat lengthy discussion (mind you, this is happening while I'm still basically out of it and can barely understand what he's saying to me) he finally agreed to give me a very small amount of tramadol to bring home.  It's so humiliating now, when I think back and see his face as he was talking to me.  He looked so distraught - like "how could I not have known what a sick addiction she had" and that he had agreed to do this surgery at that time.  My knee hurt, but the surgery probably could have waited a bit longer to allow me to get off this poison before putting me under.

Just another war story of this horrible experience with the worst drug on the planet.

Again welcome aboard.  This place will play a huge role in your recovery I'm sure.  At least it did for me.  Thank g-d for Emily.

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by lizzielang, Dec 13, 2010
Hello Tramatic
Food for thought- thanks for sharing all the tips.
The sleeplessness is bad for me, which no doubt triggers the depression. Am on day 10.  Absolutely no sleep last night despite taking zolpidem (ambien).  Bad bloat yet again today. Endless fatigue.
Trying to keep positive - but my glass is half full.  I long to get to day 20 where - there seems a chance things get much better. Haven't worked for 5 weeks- not good.  Just no concentration.  Keep cancelling clients which is definitely not good. so far day 6/7 were the best.
I have chronic back pain from a scoliosis (plural) in my lower spine and dropped foot.  I note the pain is returning- the trams definitely knocked out the majority of the pain.  Ibuprofen just doesn't hit the mark.  I took co-codamol this am - just to get through the next few hours-- I can feel it working but dread making this a regular thing.  Also took zanax 0.5 to get through today.  These potentially addictive drugs are entering my life. I confess I miss that tram energy (negative thoughts)
It's so simple really - I want to feel normal and have forgotten or, at least my body has.  It is so not helpful that xmas is creeping up - I have a pile of people here from Dec 24 which will be...lets see... aah yes day 21.  Could just be the turning point.  Meanwhile most of my time is spent lying around doing SFA.
I appreciate what you have written tramatic-- it's useful- thanks -- and good luck with your w/d.
To all other warriors - be strong- this is just a moan day again for me - tomorrow has to be better.

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 13, 2010
Lizzielang- I totally relate to your comments and description of how you feel.  I was definitely there.  You WILL be feeling much better soon.  Sometimes I think being busy is helpful by forcing you to not think about it as much and passing the time faster.  It is very hard to keep going, but I bet soon your sleep will get better.  I had depression and deep sad feelings too at the beginning.  It came and went- extreme mood swings. This times are the most dangerous as far as wanting a tram to relieve your distress.  I wanted to feel every bad moment so I would NOT forget what I had done to myself, but even then at times I craved relief.  But then I would have a great day and wonder what i was thinking (extreme mood swings).  All just a function of getting the serotonin system working right again.  Just chalk it up to your recovery and know you WILL soon feel better.  I never thought I would make it past it, but just stayed in the moment and day at a time.  You will all be feeling better- just be strong and continue on your journey.

I started trams by borrowing from my husband too.  For actually no really good reason.  He just told me they gave him energy, so I thought why not.   Bad idea....and now more then 10 hrs later I am finally free.

Beth

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by lizzielang, Dec 13, 2010
Beth
I have lit a fire- I have baked some bread- I have washed my hair (hard)  I am pacing.  I want to go out to get food etc - I just can't face another human.  It is so NOt a good day - BUT  thank you thank you. I will hold on - I believe you.  
Sun is now sinking on this cold cold day - and the possibly sleepless night beckons.  I pray for just a couple of hours - the ability to read a book.  Two baths today so far.  
I weep to see your kind kind words

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by muchforgiven, Dec 13, 2010
Sorry Lizzielang you are having a down day. Sounds like you are doing everything you can to feel better. My mantra is This Too Shall Pass! and it does. Time goes by so slowly when we are hurting.  It is 40 hrs. for me and I am very restless, sweaty the cold, achy, fatigued, and just generally miserable.
Congrats SheLiz on 21 days. I remember when you jumped and it seemed like such a remote possibility that i could ever do it, but here I am going for it. I am sooo sick and tired of being sick and tired.
This Too Shall Pass

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by LivingnPresent, Dec 13, 2010
Hello to All Warriors..I want to send message today of much hope and encouragement for every single one of you struggling with tram withdrawal.  one year ago today..if you had told me that in one year i would be 228 days clean ..i would have never believed... I did the taper method..for me personally, this worked.  I've said this before so please forgive the redundancy but the biggest miracle out of all this for me..is the return of my brain and my ability to think, reason, logic, etc.  along with this is the ability to engage in meaningful and intelligent conversation with others...something I did not experience when I was in the Tram zone.. i functioned..but barely... I am grateful to have employers who were so patient with me during those times that I was not able to do the job they knew I could do..I forgot how to do...i hid behind the deaths of my brother and sister and the cancer of my grandson.  but the truth is.. i could not find myself...ever...when i was heavily into the tram addiction.  i merely went thru the motions of life ...on a daily basis.. just going thru the motions..nothing more.   One of the first things that my family did notice about me once i gave up the trams for good..was my eyes.  they noted that my eyes looked different...clear... which prompted me to really look at myself in the mirror..and by God..there I was... back...back from years of hiding..from years of self abuse...from years of mental and intellectual apathy.  So, friends, bottom line is this.  if i can sit here and tell you that this can be done..it CAN BE DONE.  
It was not easy...and I would be less than honest if I told you there werent days that I desired the tramadol..the part of the tramadol that zapped my appetite and gave me energy... But since then I have stablized my mood on a combination of Pristiq and Wellbutrin...has worked very well for me.  Also, I gave up alcohol 177 days ago.  I found that i was merely substituting the booze for the drug being gone....  which reinforces the fact that I am an addict by nature.  I realize that many of you out there are NOT addicts..but innocently introduced to Tramadol and boy does that drug have it's way with you addict or not.    So my landscape may not be the same as yours..but what we all share is how this drug can devastate us and our ability to show up in our day to day lives...with any kind of authenticity.  
So...i will bring my wordiness to a close now..but please know that I've been reading all of your posts..and my heart goes out to each and every one of you.. Stay out here...say it all...everything you are feelling...we are all here for you...to comfort, encourage, validate..everything you are feeling.  and to support you in your efforts to get free of this crap.  
Dig deep... you are all strong strong warriors..if you are so inclined..ask for strength from your God of choice, higher power, whatever you call it. ...  you will get though it...and get to the other side.  and if you relapse..DO NOT beat yourself up..that will not serve you.. just get back on board and keep going...  many out here have slipped...this is a no shame, no guilt, no "beating yourself up" zone.....  
Peace, love, hugs and many blessings for strength and courage.
Pat


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by SheLiz, Dec 13, 2010
Hi All

        Just up for a midnight (4am) chat.  I got 3 restless hrs last night as I tried to sleep without the help of seroquel.  I keep trying :-)  The restless arms/shoulders are calming down but sleep is still not really happening.  So, even though my days are much better (relatively energetic, calm and productive) the insomnia is still very much there.

        Hi Pat - Thanks for the thoughts and words of encouragement. I'm really looking forward to being able to think, reason etc.   Still waiting to feel happy about what I see in the mirror though - I'm looking a bit puffy at the moment :-)

        Lizzie - Are you at 11 days now?  It wasn't much after 11 days that I started to have some good days in a row.  You are so close now.

        Muchforgiven - Hang in there and it most definitely will pass.

        My thoughts are with you all.

        I'm going to attempt another nap now before the sun comes up.

            

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by muchforgiven, Dec 13, 2010
47 hrs. off tram. I have this awful dread, like something really bad is going to happen. Anybody ever feel this way going into day 3?  Ugh, I hate this. Body is so heavy and achy. Soon I can go to bed. I have an Oxycodone to help me sleep. I hope tom. is better, but from what I've read, I'm not looking forward to it.

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by SheLiz, Dec 13, 2010
Muchforgiven - that is Day 3 to a T and exactly what you would expect so you are right on track.  It is horrible but it will pass soon.  Be good to yourself and allow yourself to do whatever you need to feel better at this point.  Just remember that all of us here are thinking about you and willing you through this.

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by gunitbot6, Dec 13, 2010
muchforgiving you should try to avoid oxycodone it is an opiate it will effect your opiate receptors like tramadol,  and it will take you longer to heal.

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by rt35630, Dec 13, 2010
Am I CRAZY? I told y'all I've gone and rented a house, right? I thought, and still do, that it would be good theraphy to have a blank slate to decorate, etc, a little at a time. However, I am basing this on the week of pain I had w/d'ing from Hydrocodone abuse that lasted about 6 months. Well...At least I don't have to stress over the move. We have 20+ days to pack and I hired movers this time - no DIY for me!

Okay...my big Christmas musical extravaganzas are over, December 5 at the Episcopal Church and yesterday at the Presbyterian's. They went extremely well. I still have to deal with Christmas weekend, but while those services do involve extra work, they are not the "performances" that the others are.

We are moving on January 4, and my goal right now is to have a plan IN WRITING, as Beth suggested, and start a one month taper, and I hope to have my first clean day by the end of January. I need to check and see when Easter occurs this year. But if I take February to deal with the worst of the w/d hopefully I will be well enough to do a good job at Easter.

I am thinking that regardless of what happens, I am going to be clean starting in February. I just don't want to drag this out any longer. If I have to, I can go to Riverbend (mental health center) and try to get a psychiatrist to prescribe some Welbutrin to help with the depression. I think I can handle the physical symptoms okay.

Every day I read what is written, and I go to N/A meetings unclean, and I would feel much better about myself if I were dealing with the difficult part, rather than scooting by like I am now. Sooner or later, I have to take that plunge.

Randy



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by Kristen222, Dec 13, 2010
There is hope everyone.  After feeling the lowest I have ever felt, I am on day 8 and today I actually felt a little better.  Went to work, which was difficult, and I am exhausted.  But I made it.  For all of you on your early days, there is hope.  I see glimmers of clarity.  

Keep going everyone.  We can do it!

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 13, 2010
Congrats Kristen222 - just wait - those good days are going to keep happening more and more.  Just wait!!!  :-)  really happy for you.

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by gunitbot6, Dec 13, 2010
if you had a good day you might  have a worse day tommarow, if you had a bad day today you WILL have a better day tomarow

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 13, 2010
Pat- it is so good to hear from you.  I so much appreciated your support in my early days of withdrawal.  You are a wise mentor for all of us here.  I totally relate to your comment that you only 'went thru the motions of life'.  That's a perfect description of how it was for me too.  My daughter told me recently that I had changed lately.  She said I was a much nicer person now and I laughed more and seemed much happier.  She knows nothing of my addiction- thought I was taking aspirin for my arthritis.  It was a shocking and innocent commentary on what the trams had done to my personality.  I was thrilled that the change was apparent to my family.

Muchforgiving- I agree with gunitbolt, it is best to stay away from any opiate.  This will slow your recovery since it effects the same receptors in the brain.  You need your brain to begin making it's own neurotransmitters in quantities that support brain function for you.  Hang in there!  We are here to cheer you on to success.  You can do it!  

Sheliz- you are doing great! Sooner or later your sleep will return.   just keep going as you are. One day at a time.

Lizzielang- hope you  are doing well.  Hang in there!  You WILL have better days soon!    

Kristen-  great job.  Just keep struggling thru it.  It is a struggle, but I promise it will pay off!

ImDONEnomore- you a a little ahead of me in our recovery efforts.  Great job!!  

Blessings to all who reads this and are fighting the hard battlen of getting of trans!

Beth



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by SheLiz, Dec 14, 2010
Not much sleep last night but I still had an ok day.  Had lunch with 3 friends which was the biggest social thing I've done in a while.  It was nice but I got pretty tired and was glad to get home.

I am hoping to get more walking done as I'm putting on weight now.  I'm eating more coz I'm awake more hours of the day and not really up to doing any real exercise just yet.  I'm sure it will all balance out later once I get back to normal levels of activity (and less eating time).

My hands have broken out in some kind of rash and the skin has started to peel on both palms.  Wierd but I don't think it is tram related.

I hope you are all going well

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by Skipman57, Dec 14, 2010
I am so glad i have found you all, congrats on the whole week thats fantastic

Its my second day not taking Tramadol. Going cold turkey and flushed the 100 x 50mg tablets i have down the toilet. i feel like poop, my head is like cotton wool, my legs ache, I'm agitated and can't concentrate and it goes on & on. Any one out there know of any herbal meds that can help with withdrawal. I was in hospital and had my knee replaced, on recovery they gave me morphine, tramadol and ibroprufen without consulting me. The pharmacist gave me the prescription when I left hospital for the tramadol and was still not the wiser just how bad these drugs can be. I was on 8 x 50 mg tabs per day. It was only when I have tried to cut down these drugs that the **** hit the fan.
The withdrawal has nearly cost me my marriage and I have been so emotional, crying, suicidal and having bad mood swings along with severe headaches that I realise it is these drugs that are causing this. I feel for anyone trying to come off of them.
Keep it up

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by muchforgiven, Dec 14, 2010
It is 59 hrs. since last tram. I thought i have read previous posts by folks who have used pure opiates short term to assist in WD.I don't intend to stay on Oxycodone, but use to sleep for a few nights. Anyway, I did sleep some last night and although I feel pretty lousy, I am ready to do battle today.
One question, how did you go through this and still maintain some semblance of a life? I work 3 days a week. Fortunately it snowed here yesterday and my office was closed. Today I am scheduled to work and we have a Christmas party tonight, How am I going to get through this day? I am so grateful for this site and the love and non-judgmental attitude. I am looking forward to a day when I don't think about myself and how i feel every moment of the day.
My body feel so strange today I feel like I am burning on a slow simmer inside,everything hurts,can't put 2 thoughts together,well you all know how i feel. Help me to get through this day

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by gunitbot6, Dec 14, 2010
maybe madtram can give you a good answer about using opiate while on withdrawls.

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 14, 2010
Muchforgiven: hang in there!  You could use it for a few days, but it might actually prolong your symptoms.  If you think about it, your body is trying to get those neuroreceptors to behave normally again.    That being said, you just need to be practical about it.  If you must take it, just take the smallest amount possible.  I remember feeling completely weird and 'out of body' the first week.  That will pass soon.  I also wrote in my journal that I was sick of thinking about how I felt every minute of every day.  This will also go away in time.  For me, when I was on trams, I would constantly test how I was feeling to decide if I needed more.  I think that habit took me awhile to break.    I went to work that first week.  Pretty sure I did not accomplish anything.  I just told everyone I was not feeling well- very true.  It was a test of endurance, and I felt like I was in an alternate universe, but no one seemed to notice.  Just grit your teeth and go!  Live in the moment.  Realize that you WILL feel better if you just stay true to your mission to be free.

Skipman:  my tram use almost cost me my marriage- so I can relate.  Hang in there.  Day 3 is usually the worst day and by day 5 you may be feeling some better.  But be patient!   Trams caused me to have horrible mood swings and an underlying anxiety.  All that is gone now.  You may have mood swings during withdrawal, I did.  It is one of the hard parts of getting off these devil pills, but just focus on your goal to be free and know that you will feel better.

Sheliz:  soon your energy will increase, but it is gradual.  It is so hard to wait to feel better, nut it will happen.  I felt like the day would never come, but it will in time.  

Kristin:  keep strong and hang in there!  You aree doing great!

Hope everyone has a great day!!  Stay strong and fight hard to be free!!

Beth

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 14, 2010
Hi everyone

I think the best motivator to get through the days/hours/minutes when you think you can't do it another second, is to get ANGRY.  Angry at what the tram did to you, what it took away from you, how it wants to keep taking from you until you have nothing left to give.  You wouldn't allow a person to do this to you, so treat it the same way.  Slam the door on this horrible drug and never open that door again.  Believe me this anger thing works.

It wasn't until I realized that HATED this medication that I knew all of the suffering I went through was completely worth it.  Don't let some BS drug take your life from you!

Hang in there folks you are going to be so surprised when you turn that corner.  And then you are going to feel what some of us old timers here feel.  Complete freedom!!

:-)

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by madtram, Dec 14, 2010
Not a good answer but can give you some theory & my own experience.  Other opioids act on the opiate receptors in a continuous way compared with tramadol which is a "partial" opiate agonist.  Theoretically, using a different opioid might act on the receptors in a different manner & not interfere with withdrawal.  There  should be a lower risk of oxy complicating withdrawal if you only used tram  for a shortish term.  As you point out, others have reported using opioids for a short time to ease withdrawal.

My own experience was that after six years of use, tramadol seemed to have done a number on my opiate receptors & even though I didn't use any opioids for withdrawal, on the few occasions I took codeine even some months after withdrawal, I got some withdrawal symptoms back.   I have managed to avoid opioids completely for the last 18 months so can't say whether the receptors have returned to normal but theoretically they should at some point.

The oxy may also mask withdrawal depression so that you won't really know how you feel until you come off the oxy as well.  In conclusion, you wouldn't think a few days worth of oxy would make a big difference either way but with tramadol all bets are off.

So happy to see more of you having longer good patches, you all seem so much tougher than I felt at your stage of withdrawal.

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by muchforgiven, Dec 14, 2010
Thanks for the input Madtram. I have only been using the Oxy to get some rest from the worst of the withdrawal. I only have a few left so soon it will not be in the mix. I am amazed at how much knowledge is on this site. I appreciate so much the suggestions and that no one says "don't do that". Truly brotherly love as it should be. I feel that I will be a better person for this experience and hope to help others who are suffering. 63hrs. Off tram

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by ghostman, Dec 14, 2010
Well, my experience with using opiates to get off tramadol was horrible. The reason is, im a drug addict. I love the way pills make me feel. So, when I tried to do that, I ended up getting addict to the Lortabs. They did make the withdrawls go away completely, but only because I was still taking narcotics. Lortabs and other opiates are not easier to get off of. However, the withdrawls last only a few days in my experience. Tramadol is the only medicine ive ever taken that the withdrawls last for weeks. Im at 19 days clean from everything. The most ive taken is melatonin. Last time I tried to stop trams, I was smoking marijuana to try to calm the withdrawl, bad idea. It made the anxiety 10 times worse. I knew that in order to get to where I am now, I had to abstain from everything. Other than some physical symtoms, most of it is mental. Everyone that is just starting their withdrawl, please keep going. It does suck at first, but that goes away and your left with some fatigue. I had some reoccuring symtoms that went away as quik as they came. Now the only thing left is a fuzzy feeling, kinda not clear thinking and some tiredness. However, my symptoms have nearly left me. Please just give yourself a break and continue on this road.

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by lizzielang, Dec 14, 2010
Day 11
First - you are right SheLiz - this is a better day.  I managed to work today - first money I've earned in at least 5 weeks.  That was a good feeling. The horrible fatigue has now kicked in and the deep sadness -crying for the smallest thing.  But I heed your words - it may be better again tomorrow.  I keep looking back to those, especially you  SheLiz who wrote on the same day that I am currently experiencing - but of course everyone is different. No absolutes here.
What is now concerning me is that I have taken co-codamol for real pain (back in my case)  I also had half an ambien and a zanax to sleep. Last night was bliss -6 whole hours. These three drugs are potentially addictive.  But sleep for me is now almost essential as days 9 and 10 were so so dreadful. Sleep helps. As for the co-codamol- in view of what Gunnibot and Beth wrote earlier and then Madtrams comments - I am so concerned not to prolong the healing.  I guess nobody can be sure on this one. I have taken none today- but for me Ibuproven and paracetamol do not help with back pain.  I've started very simple yoga on a regular home-based way hoping this may help---15 minutes max---it is such hard work.  Has anyone been down the homeopathic route??? Any ideas on non opiate pain medicine?? Please please share it with me if you have any ideas.  Intense back pain just adds to the tram w/d depression.  
Anyway - that's my story today.   I am very impressed with all the others in early w/d   --- I can say now with a tiny bit of authority that the cloudy head improves on day 11.  I've done more today than any other.  Keep going everyone - we are like a family-- each rooting for the other. It's crazy but wonderful.  I actually like being a human today -- and I love all the other humans around here.

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by SheLiz, Dec 14, 2010
Good morning everyone

        Lizzie - I'm so happy to hear you have seen a crack of light peaking through.  It might be a tiny one but it will get bigger.  My problem is spine damage as well so I'm not really sure how I'm going to tackle the pain in the future.  I am doing physio exercises/yoga twice a day at the moment and its helping but there will always be pain as I've had it for 30 years and don't expect it to go away now.  

        Muchforgiven - you will have almost gotten through day 3 by now so most of the hrrendous horrible bit is almost done.

        Skipman - well done on flushing the horrible things (I just had a vision of it ending up in the drinking water of the doctors who prescribe these horrors :-)  

It's so good to see us all one by one coming through this.

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by gunitbot6, Dec 14, 2010
i know of a "non addicting" drug, its called tramadol and also its :non-narcotic"

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by gunitbot6, Dec 14, 2010
maybe a skeletal muscle relaxant may help with your pain such as flexeral or cyclobenzaprine,
clondine, valium, antiinflamatory drug, or alpha/beta blocker can help with pain maybe? i believe these are all non opiates. Im no doctor so ask doctor madtram,

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by gunitbot6, Dec 14, 2010
Ultram is a type of narcotic-like oral pain reliever that is often prescribed to treat low back pain. Ultram, also known as tramadol, was approved by the FDA in 1998 and acts centrally (in the brain) to modulate the sensation of pain.
It is not an NSAID (nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug) nor does it have the anti-inflammatory effect of an NSAID. Its mechanism of action is similar to acetaminophen (e.g. Tylenol), but Ultram is a stronger pain reliever than acetaminophen and has a weak narcotic effect.

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by lizzielang, Dec 14, 2010
touche` Gunibot6



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by Kristen222, Dec 14, 2010
Day 9 and another day of work.  Withdrawals are definitely getting better but the fatigue is unbearable at times.  Does anyone know of any remedy for the fatigue.  I am really hoping my energy returns at some point.  But I guess after 6+ years of abuse, my body deserves a rest.  I will say - to all of you shoppers out there - I have not felt one urge to shop since I quit.

I will say this.  There is definite hope.  Days are getting clearer.  This website has been a godsend.  It has given me the strength that I need to get through this.  You are all so awesome!

I do believe that when you remove negative things from your life, good things flow.  I am already seeing this in my own life.  Whether it is meeting a new person, an accomplishment at work..... the good replaces the bad.

Keep going!  We can do this!!!

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 14, 2010
Hi Kristen

Keep going - you're getting better and better!

Try any of the the b complex vitamins - b12 works especially well for me for energy.  I mostly stay away from caffeine-based drinks (still need a random cup of coffee here and there, just not every day) or supplements, along with the 5-htp as they tend to make me jittery.  I also find that I can't tolerate any soda or sugary drinks anymore.  The high fructose syrup just leaves a bad after taste so I've cut this stuff out completely.

I also found orange juice and the blue goodness "b boost" drink to help a lot with energy too.  Good to see you still going strong.  The fatigue will eventually lift.

The excessive shopping stopped for me too.  What a weird side effect - almost makes you wonder about the manufacturers behind the making of this drug and their corporate intentions, doesn't it?  Give people a drug they get addicted to AND make them shop til they drop.  Money, money, money!  Definitely makes you think!  lol

Nice to see you pop in - now on to another day free of this poison!  :-)

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by muchforgiven, Dec 14, 2010
Ended day 3 Whew! That was a rough one. I'm with everyone ,I don't want to ever go through this day again. My daughter is coming home on Fri. and I really hope I am feeling better by then. The  brain fog is terrible and I couldn't go to work today. Also missed Christmas party. I couldn't  have made it if my life depended on it.
so happy for all who are in this early withdrawal with me and the encouragement I get from reading what you are going through is huge. I also appreciate you who post after you have Ben sober fo awhile to encourage us.


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by lizzielang, Dec 14, 2010
Bit of new info that some may already know --but some may not
Raw ginger root is good for pain especially inflamation as are rose hips which are marketed as lipozin.  Increasing iron, which is not easily absorbed, can reduce restless leg syndrome.  Cherry juice is excellent for aiding sleep as it contains melatonin.    
congrats muchforgiven.  Day 3 for me was just the worst, no contest - so every day from now on has to be better for you.. Day 11 for me has been the best so far, but, have to confess the insomnia is bad tonight despite taking zanaz and ambien.  It is now 2am here - thank goodness for this site.  Have had warm milk and honey, toast, and now going to try to sleep again.  Well at least the horrible anxiety is much reduced, the blocked sinus has disappeared.  Things are definitely getting better.  
Kristen you are only two days away from me - well done to you too and everyone struggling. We'll all get through
Thanks to the oldies yet again - we need your comments knowledge and advice----invaluable

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by gunitbot6, Dec 14, 2010
any body here?

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by MyFreedom, Dec 14, 2010
Lizzie ~ In regards to your pain....Hang in there. You may actually find that once you are out of the woods (maybe a couple of months out) you may find that your pain decreases. For some, it seemed that tram would manufacture pain in our bodies....which was another way it enticed us to take more. Then when our body no longer gets that regular dose of tram, everything flares up...especially pain...but over time as the tram is leaving our system that pain seems to dissipate a bit. In my case it certainly did. I never liked acetaminophen or ibuprofen and they never worked for me while on tramadol. Now, ibuprofen works great....acetaminophen, not so much.

:)

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 14, 2010
Hello tram warriors,  sorry this is sooo long.  I wanted to share some of my journal entries from my early  days off trams:

Day 2: Well this is day 2 off Tramadol and I actually dont even want to take a tram.  I have seen the devistation it has caused in my dear family and I will not be a part of it any more.  I will live as God intended me to be and if I am tired, so be it.  The most danderous thing about these pills is the lie that they tell you- a little more wont hurt...you'll feel better...tomorrow you can cut back....you can control the amount you take....it doesnt affect your personality....BUT the truth is real...a little more leads to a lot more....You'll feel better for an hour, then a lot worse...tomorrow you will need more to feel the same way....you will slowly take more because you want to continue to feel that way...it DOES effect your personality- makes you loose ability to focus and concentrate.  NO MORE FOR ME!!

Day 7:  Having a bad day today.  Feel just really weird- foggy. sneezing again and feel very tired. I really dont want to take a tram, but I DO WANT TO FEEL BETTER!!! How can I still have all these WD symptoms!!  I cant wait until Day 30. 

Day 9: It is so weird how this WD is...I fell horrible again tonight.  It's like there is a battle inside my body going on.  I feel it. The fatigue is severe. The last day I felt like this I had a great day the next day.  Hope that happens this time too

Day 16: I am on day 16 off the trams.  Not such a good day.  Anxiety, mental fogginess, fatigue today.  The WD is not at all a linear improvement.  Since I expect that I am not surprised, but man it is hard to get thru these bad days.  You feel that you will not make it when they come, and then a good day comes and you believe you will be ok.  I will just wait for better days ahead and press on.  Trying to keep busy, but I am so grouchy....I hate that.

Day 17: Today i am feeling good.  How amazing it is that yesterday I felt so awful, anxious, foggy, weird- until about 4:00 and then it passed.  I felt pretty good last evening.  It is, again, the ups and downs of getting off this horrible addiction.  I am now used to just waiting these periods out, knowing they will pass.  Thanks be to God and all thebpeople on this web site for helping me thru this difficult time.

Day 19: I will be glad when I am done thinking about how I feel all the time!!  I have periods that I don't think about it, but it is certainly not normal behavior to constantly be testing the anxiety and fatigue meter. ;).  I am having more time each day that I do not focus on it.  But with the ups and downs of this journey, I find - like today I had more anxiety, so I really noticed it and felt it and thought about it.  I believe that when I get to the point that I do not notice how I feel, then I have made it back to myself...

Day 24: I am so very thankful to be free of my addiction to tramadol.  I pray every day that I might be strong.  I, like others who are coming off this addiction, have a lot of anger towards this pill and what it did to me.  I feel so much better, even though I am still struggling at times with fatigue and anxiety.  I am starting to not think about it all the time.  I feel myself laughing as my old self again.  10 yrs is a long time.  I have to give myself time to remember who I was before this addiction, but I feel I am beginning to do so.  I see new strengths- or should I say OLD strangths returning that I had forgotten about.  I am much less impulsive and more steady minded now/  Day 24.  I must day I wondered many times if I would even get to this day. 

Day 64: I feel so great.  I feel I should not even write it down in case this is not real.  I feel back to my old self.  Happy again.  God is good.  Just needed to hang in there and wait for recovery.  I am sure I will have some back slide at some point, but I feel I have made it past the worst of it.  Laughing again, being silly, thinking again.   Its awesome!!

This is just a few of my entries.  Please feel free to read more of them if it helps you.  

Everyone is doing great!!!  YOU CAN DO THIS!! Be strong.  You have a lot of people here who know what you are going thru.  Come here for support and encouragement.  We will stand by you!!

Beth

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by james22778, Dec 15, 2010
hey Beth i remember reading these as you were going through it i hope the best for you now and in your continuing success in this fight against this addiction hope you have a great week ttyl

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by muchforgiven, Dec 15, 2010
Day 4 Feel slightly better today than yesterday. At least I am thinking about doing something today. That is progress. I really hate lying around and also lying to my husband and others hay I am "sick". I know I am sick mentally to have ever started this addiction. I am experiencing the brain saps a lot, extreme fatigue,queasy stomach,restlessness,anxiety, but all to a slightly lesser degree than yesterday. Trudging through this day with all of you in my heart. Stay strong Warriors!

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by james22778, Dec 15, 2010
hey their muchforgiven  the best thing i did was to make myself do something clean the house even if it didn't need it mow the yard just make yourself do things to keep you busy and take your mind off of things i remember that my mind was racing coming up with all kinds of thoughts and reasons to go and get me some more pills but you will get better with each and everyday time seemed to just crawl by for me but it does get back to normal just give it time good luck to you

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by ghostman, Dec 15, 2010
Day 20!!! I just cannot believe that day 20 has gotten here to quik. It seems like an eternity when you're in your early days to get to 20, but here I am!! I was reading back through some of my earlier posts and I remember the agony of that first week or so. The ups and downs are fewer and further in between. I have a calender to mark down the days and all those x's seem impossible. I did find that once I started back to work, I was feeling somewhat better with the fatigue. In the past when I had gone through the withdrawl, it never took this long to get better. However, after thinking about it, I was taking more and for a longer period of time than I was in the past. Even though this has been hell, it has been worth every second. I actually found myself laughing and thinking like I use to. When that happened, I knew that it was moving upward. Im so happy to see all of these people actually getting off this stuff. This site had a big part in helping me get through the early withdrawl and I come here when I actually can. One thing that I think is important is, when I get well enough to help people, that I continue to come here and share my hope. I was a hopeless dope addict and now, Im a dopeless hope addict. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and before you know it, those hard days are over!!

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 15, 2010
Ghostman - you are an absolute inspiration - for what its worth I'm vey very proud of you!!

Yippee 20 days!  You are well on your way.  Great job!  :-)

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by ghostman, Dec 15, 2010
Thank you Imdone, its worth a whole lot!! It's almost like the last 20 days have been a dream, but it definitly isnt!! Im telling everyone thats just in their first few days, If we can do it, so can you!! I mean, I went through some terrible withdrawls and made it through to the otherside. Just dont give up!! It will seem like it just never ends, but believe me, it really does. I was even thinking around day 10 "Man, did I do something permenant, it's not going away this time". Then, befor I knew it, the symptoms subsided. It really does draw itself out, but it will get better, I promise. One thing is for certain, to keep using, it would only get worse, never better. But to stop and go through the hell of withdrawl, there is salvation on the otherside. If you walk 20 miles into the woods, youve gotta walk 20 miles to get back out. Time takes time and it takes time to get through what this stuff has done to our minds and bodies.

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by james22778, Dec 15, 2010
good job ghostman its a great accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself good luck in moving forward

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by natthecat507, Dec 15, 2010
Day four for me! Took my last two Saturday after my finals were over. I was feeling pretty crappy the first three days, but I managed to get by with a few Valium from a friend, Valerian Root, St. John's wort, melatonin, red wine, and lots and lots of sleep.  I actually feel normal today and haven't had to take any Valium.  Starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!!!

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by Kristen222, Dec 15, 2010
Ghostman - I am so happy to see your post.  I am on day 10 and am thinking the same thing.  Have I permanently damaged myself this time?  I am exhausted and can't seem to think straight.  Plus I have a splitting headache.  So this is normal?  I almost feel like I have slipped backwards.  

I am so glad you are all improving.  It gives me so much hope.  Thanks for all of your posts and support.  It has made all the difference!

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by muchforgiven, Dec 15, 2010
96 hrs. Off the devil pills. So happy for all who are in this war. Ghostman, great job! Sheliz, Lizzielang, Kristen222, all those who are in their first monhh. It is amazing that this withdrawal has a life of it's own. Just when you think you are coming around, wham! It slaps you down again. Today was not so bad,actually went out to dinner with my husband and was not thinking about rushing home to take a pill. I do not want to fool myself into thinking the worst is over as I have read so many of your posts that tell me otherwise. I hope I can get some sleep tonight,I do have some melatonin and it has worked for me before.Nalthecal507, I am glad you seem to be doing so well. We are just about the same time. I took my last pill around 8 pm on Sat. I am so glad God gave me the strength to stop when I did, at least I am moving forward every day to restored  health.
Stay strong and fight on Warriors!

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by genamarie73, Dec 15, 2010
I have been put on tramadol for severe pain now for a week. It does nothing for me. I don't feel crap when I take it. The doc said it is non narcotic and not addictive.

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by gunitbot6, Dec 15, 2010
if it does nothing for you, don't take it and tell your doctor

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by lizzielang, Dec 16, 2010
Yes Genamarie- do what Gunibot6 writes- tramadol addiction creeps up on you- it's evil stuff.  There will be another painkiller for you-don't take this stuff.
Well done Kristen- just a couple of days behind me--I too may well have thrown in the towel if it were not for this site.  It seems I went forwards on several days only to go plunging backwards.  Muchforgiven keep your resolve- know the ups and downs of this drug.  
I do feel you have to be a really strong person to be fighting this fight-- so warrior is definitely the word!
Day 13 for me.  Sleep with or without an aid is a big problem.  I feel very un-rested.  Depression lurks. Sadness prevails. Stomach problems still persist.  Just a general feeling of uneasiness. Horrible fatigue. However- all these things are less powerful than a week ago. I have to keep reminding myself of this.  It is not a quick fix.
I heed all the words posted here, but I am finding this withdrawal very very difficult. For me at this stage, the worst is being unable to speak to people, even family, to not go out- or, to go out, do the minimum and to scuttle back to the safety of my home.  I have to beat this today.  Snow is forecast - I live off road, and have my son arriving for the weekend tomorrow---- I have to shop.  Also, regardless of the fatigue, I have to clean my house.  Xmas in just over a week- have many more family then.  I have to get better; I have to improve.
I cannot be afraid - or I will blow it.  I need more strength then I have - it will come. Thanks for listening


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by muchforgiven, Dec 16, 2010
No Lizzielang,you cannot be afraid. I don't know what your beliefs are but I believe it is God who gives us strength. He also as told ud "I will never leave you" No matter how hard it is, I know He is there. I am in day 5. Woke up this morning with a panic attack. I used to have them a long time ago, and have learned how to talk myself down. Man this is so hard. The truth is, I want it to be hard and painful so I will never forget and when I am tempted to take a pill for anything, I will flash back to this time in my life. I have wasted 2 yrs. And I don't want to waste any more time in this self-centered way of living. So fight on warriors, we are not alone and we have each other to share in the battle. I get such strength and courage from everyone her who has shared their heart and soul.
If we just show up, the grace to fight another day is there.

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by SheLiz, Dec 16, 2010
Hi Everyone

                  It's 11pm and I've just got home after being out all day.  My first big busy day out.  I had a group session in the city today with my veteran group (we're a mix of Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan & other Vets).  I'm the only female but have well and truly been accepted as 'one of the guys'.  I haven't been to the group for a few weeks and told them today about my tram terrors and one of other guys said that he also came off tram some time ago and it was one of the worst things he'd ever been through.  He said it took about 3 months for him to get back to 'normal'.

                 I also made it out to my trivia night for our last night of the year.  I've missed paying with my team over the last few weeks so it was great to get back there.  So, now I'm nice and tired and might even attempt to go to sleep without the seroquel.

                 Muchforgiven, Ghostman, Kristen good to see you all doing so well - well you know what i mean.

                 natthecat507 - good to see you made it through your exams and can now get rid of the rotten trams now.

                 genamarie - if they aren't helping don't take them.  Then again, even if you think they are helping, stop taking them coz they (the pills) are just lying to you.  Tramadol is a narcotic, it is addictive both physically and emotionally and it does cause more harm than good.  There are other ways of dealing with the pain.  

                 lizzy - you are going to feel so much better by Christmas, you still have 9 days.  I am lucky that this year my whole family has decided for the first time that there will be no presents and no one cooking.  We are all going out for lunch, no shopping, no cooking, no dishes, no stress, no thinking.  We've all had a tough year and have taken the easy way out for all concerned.  Are you doing lots of cooking etc?  Have you got help?

                 One thing I have noticed is that I am dreaming again or at least remembering my dreams.  Last nights was the most amazing dream I ever had.  It was extremely long, complicated and really covered just about every facet of my life.  I remembered every detail even after I had been awake for a while.  Normally i don't dream or don't remember anything I've dreamt about.  Looks like my brain is waking up - just wish it would wake up during the day as well :-)

Bedtime - night everyone

                

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by Skipman57, Dec 16, 2010
Hello all Tram Warriors, have been reading all the posts and so glad I am not on my own. Its my 4th day off this horrible drug, I find the mornings ok but come lunchtime my skin is crawling my eyes are popping, head is banging and I find it so hard to concentrate at work. They gave me this drug last August when I had my knee replaced, and the biggest joke, did not consult me and tell me that they're addictive and have severe side effects especially when you try to come off them. Last sunday was the worst ever, and my wife kept telling me to look at my face in the mirror, I was like a raving mad man, which made me search and find all you guys and gals out there experiencing the same. Getting through one day at a time is a challenge, I just hope it wont be long before this crap is out of my system. The support from this site is great and a big thankyou out there for helping all tram addicts, especially me. Thankyou

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by muchforgiven, Dec 16, 2010
Welcome Skipman57. Sounds like you are in the right place. Most of us had no idea what we were getting into with these "non-addictive" pills. I am only 1 day ahead of you. I am 5 hrs. From starting day 6 . I was on trams for 2 yrs. Taking 3-5 50 mg. a day. About 6 months ago I began to realize I was just going through the motions of life and enjoying nothing. I am so glad you have not been on them for a really long time and hopefully your WD will not be long and drawn out. For me, I can honestly say I don't feel great today but it is not unbearable. I feel like I have the flu. Achy,fatigued,sweaty the cold,slightly nauseous. I can handle it since I know that each day that goes by brings me closer to being healthy again and enjoying my life. I like how someone put, Being present in my life.
Keep posting and we can al encourage you. I have received so much love and encouragement on this site. I couldn't do it without being able to share how I am feeling and knowing others feel the same way or have felt the same way and have come through it. You will be stronger for this. Stay strong!

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 16, 2010
Muchforgiven and skipman - you absolutely will get through the worst of it soon.  The lingering symptoms for me were fatigue and low energy, some depression.  But those symptoms have gone away, so they will for you too!  It may very well be the toughest battle many of us face, but the strength you gain within yourself during this struggle will be with you forever.  You will never forget how hard these days are and I don't think we're supposed to - it will keep you from being fooled by this horrible drug ever again.

I get so proud when I read everyone's posts and how well you all are doing - no matter how much pain you're in you continue to come here to encourage others or gain the support you might need in that moment.  I know being here made all the difference for me this time.  Knowledge is POWER.

:-)

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by lizzielang, Dec 16, 2010

Day 14  in a few hours -TWO WEEKS.  Yes-- two weeks at 10am on Friday.  It's getting better-- it is - it is. Slowly slowly.
Can't sleep despite valerian root, warm milk, and half a xanax   Oh well so what--- here I am checking up on all the friends here.  Skipman, Kristen, Muchforgiven and Natthecat - you are all doing so well---keep going -keep reading- you'll see it gets better for us all - but it's in different ways.  
Been out today - shopped a bit, the tiredness is the hard one.  With it comes a sadness, but it seems to be more bearable with each passing day. I have (dare I say it) more mental clarity.  But, I am also very emotional, very easily moved to tears.  I guess this is the messing with serotin levels, which is a tramadol speciality.
Going to try to read myself to sleep.  I remember SheLiz saying how comforting talking books were -- wouldn't mind one of those tonight, though I have got the BBC world service on radio.  Hope all is well with you SheLiz -- you were right again -- it is getting better bit by bit.  Looked back to your day 13 / 14  - You were so much more positive than me, even though you had difficulty with sleep too. I have one week to really get myself ready for the family invasion over xmas  
Keep going my friends - you may hear me grousing again and again- even later tonight if sleep doesn't come - but -believe me, it really helps letting out all this 'stuff' - then it all goes away.   I know I'm in the right place.

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by SheLiz, Dec 16, 2010
Yay Lizzie - 2 weeks Already - doesn't time fly when you're having fun ha ha:-)  So, at this rate, although you won't be 100% by Christmas it will at least be bearable and you will have some energy And some mental clarity to be able to deal with it.

I'm having a bit of a slow, tired day but I don't mind as I've had several good days and achieved a bit lately so a bit of a rest day won't hurt.  I did have 3 glasses of wine last night which might be causing some of that.  I usually have wine with dinner but haven't felt like it at all during the taper and w/d.  So, now that I actually feel like it again is a good sign as long as I don't overdo it.

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by ghostman, Dec 16, 2010
Well, im at 21 days now and im doing a whole lot better. The only lingering symptoms is tireness. Its a noticible tiredness, but not fatigue. Also, every now and then, i'll have this urge to fill some invisible hole in myself with something. When I stopped using those pills, it left a hole inside me. Sometimes, and its hard to explain, you feel like filling it with something. So, I drank 2 heinekens and the hole was filled up. Plus a filet mignon steak, baked potato and salad. Now im about ready to drift into a coma. However, its not because of those nasty pills. When I look back, I didnt sleep at all on those things. They were just like speed. I cannot explain how grateful I am to have those out of my life and to be getting myself back. Its a strange feeling, but strange in a good way.

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by gunitbot6, Dec 17, 2010
shelizzielang <-- lol dont drink alcohol wile withdrawing it will probably bring out the withdrawals, i know it did for me. it might for youto

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by Skipman57, Dec 17, 2010
Hi all, I am so glad you are all doing well, Lizzielang 2 weeks, thats great, I took for the first time Valerian root before bed, it was recommended and it certainly knocked me out and I woke up fresh as a kitten, however come lunchtime the crap feelings kick in but I must say they are not lasting as long as they were. SheLiz, slow days are great especially if you are feeling good, Try slow days with wine, well what can I say, you will definately feel good :-) lol. Ghostman I cant wait to get to 21 days, well done, heineken does refresh the parts other beers don't so I may buy a crate, it seems to be working with you. Muchforgiven, thanks for your kind words and support, and I am here to support you and everyone. Its no fun these w/d symptons, I couldn't understand why I got severe headaches, having terrible mood swings, hot and cold sweats. it wasn't till I was ready to destroy the love of people around me, having loads of depressive thoughts and my wife telling me to look in the mirror at the sheer aggressive eyepopping sick addicted tramjunkie that I am, that I searched and found all you guys having or going through the same. Thank you all so much for the support you are giving people. This is the right place to be, with friends who care.

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by muchforgiven, Dec 17, 2010
Morning All. Day 6 for me. I won't even moan about sleeplessness. It seems that it is a given and a symptom that persists for some time. I have decided to accept this and let my body sleep when it is ready. This is actually a new concept for me. In the past, I have always made my body do what I wanted it to do when I wanted it to. The idea of letting my body do what it is supposed to do when it is supposed to do it is very freeing.I have a long history of abusing my body, starting around age 12 with an eating disorder. This experience has been very humbling, in a good way.
Right now, I don't feel too bad. The extreme fatigue, brain fog, restlessness, and general achyness is at times overwhelming. There is nowhere to go except forward,so I will stop complaining and accept that this is a small price to pay for what I've done to myself.
My daughter arrives home this morning and I pray I can function in a somewhat normal fashion so our time together is meaningful. Last evening at work, I actually found myself feeling some of my old excitement about Christmas and getting together with family, instead of the dread I have felt for many months about everything.
I know I am rambling now so I will shut up. Just wanted you all to know how much you mean to me and how much strength I get from your posts. Keep on fighting, Fellow Warriors!

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by sadman123, Dec 17, 2010
Hey guys been a while, last dose of 1/4 tab was 24 hrs ago and I'm feeling great, had issue s with the mental game, ie trying to make excuses to have more, but fought through...I feel like a million bucks, the taper method worked great for me, now the hard part of staying clean!! Not giving, basking in freedom and realizing a 2 hr high is not worth three steps backward. Best luck to everyone...

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by SheLiz, Dec 17, 2010
That's great Sadman, glad you are going well.  I would've loved to do the real slow taper as well but over here we only get capsules so it became too much of a pain to tip out the powder and try to sort it into half piles etc.

Muchfirgiven you will be halfway through day 6 by now coming up for a whole week.  Yay.  Great to see you are having some good moments already and I wish you many more.

I had a 7-8 hours sleep last night with the help of seroquel.  I'm going to start cutting those into smaller tabs from now on so I can slowly stop relying on them for sleep.  That's going to be fun as well as they are tiny tablets to start with and not designed to be broken into smaller bits.

My restless shoulders are getting better and only bugging me some nights instead of every night. I'm still slow and tired a lot of the time but am managing to do everything I need to do apart from get out and socialise but that will come and rest is more important now.  I want to save myself for spending Christmas with my family.



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by solatesolate, Dec 17, 2010
why r they keep selling this drug to anyone that wants it   i am on 50 50mg a day plus pint of alcohol  i sure miss the days when it was going sooo good     sososo now what?   can u get back to those days    i got soooo much work done and ready for more but my body and brain is slowing down  if it worked before why does not work now
thanks

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by solatesolate, Dec 17, 2010
hello  is anyone here?

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by madtram, Dec 17, 2010
Solate, I think you know that the good days with tramadol will never come back for you, if you have read all the threads on Emily's journal, you will see that no-one has reported that tramadol started working for them again.

Yes, it's lousy that they are so freely available as is alcohol & that means it's over to you.  The dose you are on is highly dangerous, it's likely that your high dose of alcohol is masking the risk of seizure but you are playing russian roulette with this mixture.   Many people have had seizures on lower doses than yours, it's probably only because alcohol is slowing down your brain that you haven't.

Can you get professional medical help?   You are in a very high risk category with your dose level & the alcohol so it would be much safer for you to be detoxed under supervision.

Please take some action today.  I guarantee you that things will only get worse if you keep on this path.

Best wishes.

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by solatesolate, Dec 17, 2010
thank u for the info     my family has no idea about this addiction  and it sounds like i won't be able to do it on my own!

how do taper down?

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by solatesolate, Dec 17, 2010
now i am getting really scared    i will try no more tonight (10) and see what occurs

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by SheLiz, Dec 18, 2010
Hi SoLate

               Good that you have found this site - it's the best place to be to get support to get off tramadol.  It's up to you what you feel most comfortable with either tapering or Cold Turkey.  The main thing would be not to take any steps backward by taking more at any stage.  Either way the sooner you start to get rid of these horrible pills the sooner your life can turn around and be good again.

              It's not going to be easy but it will be so worth it.  I'm at day 25 and feeling pretty good.



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by MyFreedom, Dec 18, 2010
Solate ~ I agree with madtram. You may want to find a doctor to help you through this. You are on such a high dose that it is very dangerous for you. Also, if you try to taper on your own, don't do it too drastically. If you cut from 50 down to 10 it may be too big of a jump and too big of a shock to your system....I'm certainly no doctor, but it may not be wise to drop such a large dose at once. No one here can tell you exactly how to do it....for one, because it's against the rules and second, because each person's situation and needs are different. Do you have a doctor that you can confide in? You may be surprised to find that your doc would be willing to help you work through this...mine did.

Rest assured, there is light at the end of the tram tunnel. It can be done and you can get your life back....granted it will take some work, commitment and determination on your part, but it is very much doable.

Whatever you decide to do, we all are here to support you and offer a kind word or advice. You can beat this demon!

Love and strength
:)

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by madtram, Dec 18, 2010
Solate, if you are going to do this on your own, I would go for a very very slow taper to start, (say reducing 2 50mgs caps per week).  It will take a long time to get to zero but I think going cold turkey or having a large reduction from such a huge dose will be too much of a shock to your system.

Tramadol contains an antidepressant very much like effexor which most doctors would know needs to tapered down from.

There is another poster who has successfully come off a large dose & would have a lot of useful experience so I will send her a pm & hopefully she is around to respond.

Please keep in touch & let us know how you are going.

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by sadman123, Dec 18, 2010
Hey solate, I like everyone are glad you are here, I agree with most, you are at a high dose but do not let that dissuade you, if you stay connected and focused on cutting back slowly you will find it is not as hard as your mind/body tells you it is, there are many people here who are living proof of that and even more who are still moving closer to freedom! You have found a perfect place for support, most of us have kept this a secret from people we care about, and with us here you CAN be free!

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by Skipman57, Dec 18, 2010
Hi everyone
Solate, skick in there, this site will give you all the support you need, I am day 6 now, its not easy but it will get easy, I am gettind severe headaches and now flu like symptoms, this is a new one for me, but I am looking at it as the next step to becoming clear of this horrible horrible drug, Madtram good to see things are going well for you and sadman123 your advise is so so relevant to all of us going through the w/d symptoms. Support on this site is so needed and thank you to all that are giving it. Respect. xx

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by SheLiz, Dec 18, 2010
A question for the 'oldies' - I should call you the 'elders'.  I've now reached day 26 and feeling pretty good but today I've been having brain zaps all day.  Can any of you remember still getting them at this stage?

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by muchforgiven, Dec 18, 2010
Good Morning. Day 7 today. One whole week. I am amazed!  It has been one of the longest weeks of my life and one I don't want to ever re-live. I am a 3 time cancer survivor and can honestly say this has near tied my worst moments going through recovery.But, onward and upward,
I also want to welcome you Solate. Did I read that you are taking 50 50 mg. A day? That is unbelievable. Listen to the good advice you are getting on this site. I am not a doctor but I am an R.N. And I have worked in addiction recovery. I do know that at the doses you are at, it is very dangerous to de-tox yourself. Please get some professional help.
How is everyone doing today. You are all my heroes. Madtram, your advice is very, very helpful as well as all of you who keep posting after you are sober for some time. My heartfelt thanks for all of your help.
For all of us who are less than 30 days, Sheliz, Lizzielang,Sadman,Skipman, Kristen, and anyone I forgot,, we have met the enemy and He is retreating. We are so much stronger together. This site has helped to save my life.


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by SheLiz, Dec 18, 2010
Great work Muchforgiven - that's one horrible week out of the way and it's going to start getting much easier very soon.  It's so good to be able to watch each other come through this.

Almost midnight here so I'm off to bed.  Going to try cutting an already very small seroquel into half tonight and see how I go with that.

Goodnight all - I wish you all a better day than yesterday

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by lizzielang, Dec 18, 2010
Hello everyone.
Day 15
Solate -- please please heed the advice everyone is giving you.  With professional help and this site - you will be a winner.  Everyone here has really struggled  with this horrible drug, we will all be there for you throughout the withdrawal
SheLiz - so pleased you seem to be through the worst of it.  Today seems to have been relentless, snowed in again. I would so like to be able to sleep properly.  Think this is what sets up the sadness.  It's like there's a wide open window in my brain where the sleep mechanism hangs out - just grabbing an hour here and there - no deep revitalizing sleep. Ah well the day is nearly over - a new night to face- maybe this will be the one....
Hope everyone one else is coping and improving  ..  sometimes it seems endless but so much better than being a slave to a tablet



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by dcrouch77, Dec 18, 2010
READ THIS!!! LAST NIGHT I HAD A SEIZURE!!  my girlfriend found me convulsing with my eyes in my head on the floor. I had fallen of the bed and hit my head on the desk as well. I was taken away by ambulance to the hospital. I have taken tramadol off and on for years. Sometimes in very excessive amounts. I have never had a seizure before today. I am also prescribed imitrex for migranes and just started wellbutrin a few weeks ago to stop smoking. I found out that all three of these have risk of seizure.....so beware...the seizure warnings with tramadol are true!!

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 19, 2010
Hi Sheliz,

I just want to reassure you that the symptoms you're still experiencing are very normal.  I was still having random symptoms at about 3 months off, with stomach problems and an episode over my anniversary weekend with my husband where I really thought I was coming down with the flu.  I had all the flu like symptoms over a period of about 36/48 hours and then they just disappeared.  It was very strange, but I took it to mean that the drugs were STILL getting out of my system.  I believe it takes a very long time for this drug to leave our bodies, but it does eventually leave, so just keep doing what you're doing because you are doing GREAT!

Very proud of all of you!  And of course, I agree with Madtram - solatesolate - pls reach out to someone near you to get the help you will need to get off this drug, and the alcohol.  You are at very dangerous levels and Madtram is right - you're probably not experiencing seizures yet because your system is so slowed down by the alcohol.  Please know it is possible to stop taking this drug.  You just need to reach out and ask for help.  We are here to support you, but I believe you need someone right there with you to help you through.  I wish you much luck.

Hope we all have a good and relaxing day.  :-)

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by muchforgiven, Dec 19, 2010
Hello fellow warriors. Day 8 today. Felt okay when I got up, but boy do I feel terrible now. Feels like day 3 all over again. It is worse because my daughter is here and we have all these plans to do things, and I feel solo bad. Right now I am taking a rest before we go out for a long hike. Shoot me now will you?
I am sure I will survive, but just wanted to tell someone how I feel.
Dcrouch,hope you are better. Very dangerous drug.

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by TaylorVictoria, Dec 19, 2010
Well I'm terrified!  I've been taking tramadol 50mg 4x's a day for a month (lower back pain).  I'm pretty debilitated because I have a fibroid tumor the size of a basketball pressing down on my spine and pelvic area.  I cannot take NSAID's due to gastritis and vicodin gives me wicked headaches so my Dr prescribed tramadol.  He told me it was not addictive but worked well.  And it has, but it does make me sleepy.  I have 2 more months before my surgery.  I don't know what to do because it's so hard to live in constant pain but it seems like the withdrawals are horrible and last as long as taking them.  

What could I expect in terms of WD's if I go down to 2-3 a day and taking them for 3 months??  I know everyone is different but has anyone experienced WD's taking close to that amount?

Thank you for any help.  I'm so sorry to hear of everyone going through this.  I've never been through WD's ... it just sounds like hell!!  I don't know if Doctor's are deceiving their patients about the addictive nature of this drug so as not to look stupid for not prescribing narcotics for the same reason or they are just so misinformed!  I'm so sorry for you all!  I guess I'm next.  

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by Sianey_, Dec 19, 2010
Hi other detox-ers

My name's Sian, everyone else seems to start with their back-story so I will too. I was diagnosed with a soft-tissue sarcoma (rare cancer) when I was 15. I had chemo of course (pretty much as strong as you can get!) and went through the hell that comes with it; ie. hair loss, nails falling off, neutropenia and countless others ra ra ra. After a year of chemo, many infections and 5 operations I was cancer-free and on the road back to health. I lost the weight, re-connected with active-ness and friends and finally felt like a regular 17 year old. THEN one period in December 2007, period pains started and never went away. I have been in constant wavering pain for the last 3 years. I realise this story is getting long so to present day: I've been diagnosed with endometriosis, IBS and dodgy-ovaries, had 4 laparoscopic surgeries in two years in 3 different hospitals and still not cured.

Now for the drugs... (This could be long too!) After trying all the many many tablets the doctors thought could cure the cause of the pain, they started helping me manage the pain itself.

I took tramadol for two years as and when I needed it. That usually meant 300mgs a day. When my body grew accustomed to the drug, it stopped being enough for my times of extreme pain. For that I've been taking Morphine as and when I need it. So now I'm taking like 600mgs of tramadol on a regular day, and as much morphine as I want when it's worse. Big mistake.

The tramadol started giving me symptoms I didn't want. Constipation, mood swings, general numbness of life and feeling kind-of stoned ALL the time! I realised I needed to stop.

I am now at the end of Day Three!

It hasn't been nice, but I've read many horror stories of suicidal thoughts and hospitalisations I feel lucky. I am obviously in a lot more pain than normal and that's the main thing I've been struggling with.. I've also got the hideous Restless Leg Syndrome so sleeping last night was hard and I'm prepared for a long night tonight. Few moments of shaking/shivers particulaly at night and the slight creepy-crawlie feeling on my skin but it's managable.

So to those who are just starting or thinking about going cold-turkey and are reading the stories of people having a really rough time, just know that it's not like that for everyone. And even if it is like that... it's worth it.  

Good luck everyone. Would be lovely to hear from anyone, although I'm doing okay... it'd be nice to have some support from people who actually understand what I'm going through.

xx S xx

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by bethwillprevail, Dec 19, 2010
Sheliz:  I had 'brain zaps' on and off probably thru at least 30 days.  It will come and go for a bit.  I had a lot of them at first.  Now they're completely gone.  Wow-  I hated them!!  Withdrawal from trams definitely teaches you patience and perseverance.  You are rally doing great.  Just hang in there.  It will get better every week.  I am past 4 mos off and feel almost completely better.  Still an occasional twinge of WD on occasion- usually with or after a very stressful day.  

Muchforgiven: I totally know how you are feeling right now.  My daughter ( who knows nothing of the trams) spends a lot of time with me along with my 2 grandkids.  It was soooo hard the first few weeks off trams.  I did my best to act 'normal' even though I felt like I was in a alternate universe.  The hardest thing in ever did.  I was so glad when they left and I could get on this journal for support and then get in the bath and try to relax.  In love my kids and grandkids, but during those first few weeks, as most of you could attest, it is hard to tolerate much more than the horrible WD feelings.  But it passes.  Ups and downs were the norm for me, but each time I had a bad day or set of days would emerge feeling better than ever.  that gives you hope!!!  You WILL get feeling better.   It will happen.  Just keep going and stay on your path to recovery.

I've been traveling and not able to post much these last few days. Everyone stay strong and keep fighting to win your battle against those devil pills!  Your life and your future depends on it!!

Gods blessings
Beth

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by muchforgiven, Dec 19, 2010
Thanks Bethwillprevail, I was feeling so close to taking a pill tonight as I am having a bad day, but I read your post and I felt stronger. I hope to sleep a little tonight. Tomorrow will be another day.It could be a lot better. It helps so much to be able to share with those who have gone through this. Welcome Sianey, hoped you get strength and comfort at this site.

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by regabega, Dec 19, 2010
Good Evening To All !
  I stumbled upon this forum doing general research on the net.  I have read through many of the posts and they echo my own experiences with Tramadol.  This is the first time that I feel my experiences with this awful drug have been validated.
  I first took this medication after a c-section in April of 2008.  I was pregnant with twin boys and required an emergency c-section when it was discovered in my 37th week of pregnancy that one of the babies had died in utero.  I have a strong family history of of individuals with alcohol and drug addiction, I have witnessed the devastation addiction can cause.  Being mindful of this I asked the doctor for a medicine that was not an opiate ( I also generally do not tolerate opiates well, vomiting, etc.) I was prescribed Tramadol 50 mg as needed for pain with a max of 6 tablets per day.  I was prescribed 90 pills and by the end of the bottle I was hooked.  When I took the pills I was able to block out  the horrible emotional pain with the death of my son and still having to meet the demands of caring for a 7 year old, newborn, and the general running of my household.  When I first experienced withdrawal symptoms I thought I had a horrible case of the flu, I was clueless.  I spoke with my doctor about this and he assured me it was the flu, even suggested I could have postpartum depression setting in.  I had my prescription on automatic refill at the pharmacy so it was picked up by my husband with his prescriptions.  I decided to take 1 remembering the energy boost and general sense of well being.  Magically, my "flu-like" symptoms improved.  I then realized what was going on.  Even with the awareness of my addiction, I quickly spiraled out of control.  I eventually wound up taking up to 30, 50mg. pills a day just to function.  I even turned to the internet frequently to get my supply.  I lived in constant fear of running out, the withdrawal was a living hell ( sleepless nights, twitchy legs, vomiting, diarrhea, debilitating fatigue, even hallucinations on a few occasions).
  After over a year of this madness my life was falling apart around me.  I had put my family in financial ruin and my marriage was falling apart but I could not bare to face quitting and how awful I would feel.  I frequently had suicidal thoughts and my entire life revolved around waiting for the Fedex delivery truck to show up.  My husband cut me off from all finances and he was so angry that I couldn't just stop.
  In a moment of desperation I called an addiction hotline number in the phone book.  The woman I spoke to worked at a rehab facility in Florida and she was amazing...she was in recovery and understood.  I talked to her daily for the next week.  She spoke with my husband and convinced him that I needed professional treatment.  To stop the withdrawals until insurance approved my inpatient stay my husband gave me hydrocodone he had left over from a past surgery.  He gave them to me every  4 to 6 hours as prescribed.  My withdrawal symptoms from the Tramadol were reduced to a minimum.  I entered into an inpatient rehab and was given Suboxone for 5 days to detox.  Once I was weaned off of the Suboxone all my physical withdrawal symptoms were gone except for mild fatigue.  The biggest battle for me were the psychological after effects.  I sunk into a deep depression...all of the grief over the loss of my son crashed down on me all at once.  I was also so full of shame over the state my life was in.  I had wonderful counselors that helped me face my "demons" head on. I was a good 6 months before I remotely began to feel normal again.  
  Overcoming Tramadol addiction was the worst struggle of my life but definitely the most worthwhile :) !!!  I will have a year of sobriety on January 17, 2011.  It has been alot of hard work to regain trust and try to make amends to the people I affected. I feel like I have been given a second chance and I now take nothing for granted!!  There is life after Tramadol and I am proof.  One thing that has been very healing and fulfilling for me is that I have started working with our local Congress woman to develop legislation to crack down on internet pharmacies and to get the FDA to review and reclassify this incredibly addictive and dangerous drug.  If I can help to prevent even one person from living the nightmare I did then all of this was worthwhile!!
  
  I have to commend those of you that are tapering or going cold turkey,  you have incredible courage!  You are doing the right thing and this period in your life will pass...no pain is forever!
You all are in my prayers!



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by SheLiz, Dec 20, 2010
Thanks I'mDone and Beth - always happy to hear that everything I'm going through is 'normal' or at least par for the course :-) What would we do without each other??????  Without the benefit of your experiences I would be a lot more worried about things.  

Regabega - thanks for your story.  You've been through a real tough time and it's great to see you've come out the other end.

Sianey - you're in the right place and we're all with you.  I''ve just made it to the 28 day mark (that's 4 weeks!!!!) and I don't know if I would've made it without this great group of people.

I've had 8 hours sleep each night for the last few nights and I've even cut the seroquel in half for the last 2 nights.  Will be working on getting rid of that completely over the next couple of weeks.

Thanks everyone

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by muchforgiven, Dec 20, 2010
Day 9 here. Slept a few hrs. last night. I appreciate your story Regabega and am sorry for your loss and all you went through. Sheliz, 28 days is incredible i remember when you were tapering and then jumped and I have followed your journey and have gotten so much strength from you. I feel pretty shaky today so I think I will stick close to this forum. I had many thoughts of taking just 1 pill last night but thankfully, after reading posts here, and a moment of sanity, i didn't. This past week has been so incredibly hard but I have seen the future if I continued on the path I was going and it was death. Today, I want to live, and get my life and my personality back.Thanks to all of you who care enough to encourage me and others on this road to recovery.
More later...

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by rt35630, Dec 20, 2010
hello all...just wanted to get you an update before my hell week starts in a few hours! I have four publications to prepare in three days. I work every morning. Plus I will have two choir rehearsals Wednesday evening, an Evensong Thursday, two evening services Friday, one on Saturday morning, and then two on Sunday. This happens every ten years or so with Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Sunday falling one after another. I've done it before and "this to shall pass."

I am SO excited. It is almost the end of the month, and I still have pills in my bottle of 180 that I got on December 2. I have been supplementing that amount each month with about two weeks worth of pills purchased on the street. So I may have cut my intake by close to half. Since I have never really kept up with how much I have purchased, it is hard to say, but I do know that rather than buying more each month, I have bought considerably less.

I know that I am not really following a plan fastidiously at this point, but once Christmas is over I mean to buckle down. My goal this last week has been to simply take less than I did the week before. So, rather than taking 4 in the morning at 6 a.m. I took 3, and rather than taking 3 at noon I took two, and rather than 4 at night, I took 3. I also found out that I could take the last dose of three an hour or more later than I had been taking them and go to bed early-ish (around 9:30) and totally skip a dose of 3 at around 11 p.m.

I am finding that looking at this as taking less pills - just for today - as they preach about staying sober just for today in N/A, is something I can do as opposed to looking at the longer term. So I am feeling better. However, I do think the discipline of doing a proper taper will be really important in the end. At least for now my body is doing okay with much less dope in it than before.

Happy Christmas to one and all.

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by gunitbot6, Dec 20, 2010
wow solatesolate is in very deep, she/he hasnt been here for a while i hope she/he comes back. for support

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by solatesolate, Dec 20, 2010
hi all i am still hear  i decided to reduced slowly so i am at 45 pills and will try only 40 next week.
i will keep you updated  no wd so far.

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by muchforgiven, Dec 20, 2010
Hello fellow warriors,
Today was an up and down day. Felt bad this morning, better early afternoon, bad around 4pm so I took a rest, and got up after an hr. and felt a bit better. Almost approaching the start of day 10. There were timed today when I felt I couldn't go on and I needed to take a pill but I didn't. I know I should probably just throw them away but i haven't yet for whatever reason. I don't want to undo all the hard work that has gone into these last 9 days, and I would be terribly disappointed in myself if I gave in.
Solate, good that you are beginning the weaning. I pray you will find the strength here to finally be free.Thanks again for being there friends and fellow travelers on this path.

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 20, 2010
Hi muchforgiven,

It is so much better for you already - the fact that you came here, INSTEAD of taking a pill, is HUGE!!!  Relish in that accomplishment for what it is.  Just the fact that you came here looking for support from people and NOT a pill is very very big.  Please feel proud of that.

That's all I wanted to say!  :-)

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by solatesolate, Dec 20, 2010
i think i had a small seizure or stroke  my hub asked me why were my eyes so droopy and shakes and very week  i was afraid i would fall down  besides that our dog (who is devoted to hub)  will not leave my side and we all know how sensitive they r
ideas?  to much  thanks      this is going to be a long road !

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by solatesolate, Dec 20, 2010
who is willy and what was his(her) formula? i mean if it works for 30 pill/day attack it might be worth checking out but i can't find it

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by regabega, Dec 20, 2010
solatesolate,
  I am very worried for you!!  I think it is great that you are using this forum for support...that being said I think you really need to seek help from medical professionals as soon as possible.  If you feel you may have had a stroke or seizure, that is serious.  With a stroke there is a small window of time to seek medical help before there can be damage that may not be reversed.  My only advice would be to maintain your normal dose until you can seek professional assistance with detox.

God bless,
Regabega

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by SheLiz, Dec 20, 2010
I wrote this earlier today but just noticed that I hadn't actually posted it...

Hi Muchforgiven

                       Please don't go too far from the forum coz you are so close to feeling much better.  Hang on to that sanity :-) You've done most of the hard work and it's not long now.  I had a lovely 9hr sleep last night.  I am really appreciating my sleep these days after all those weeks where I would've killed for more than an hour or 2 of sleep.  I've been sleeping much better for about a week now. So, it will come.

                       rt35630 - have fun getting through Christmas.

                       I'm getting some work done now then I'm going to go for a walk in between the rain.  We've had about 12 years of drought down here and now we haven't had a day without rain for a couple of months now.  Lots of flooding around Aust.  If only all this rain could've been spread over the last 12 years our poor farmers would be in a much better position.  This was going to be their first good crops in over 12 years but now most of them are flooded and we have locust plagues coming through as well.  

Wishing you all a better day





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by lizzielang, Dec 21, 2010

Winter solstice day. Officially the beginning of winter in the northern hemisphere.  Winter has been with us in Europe for a few weeks already.  I can't remember such consistently low temps.  Anyway enough of that- except to say it is challenging and being snowed-in now for nearly five days is very testing.  All you guys in warm climates - I am envious.
Day 17 for me.  Fatigue, back pain, very poor sleep and some stomach issues are still about. The back pain is chronic so I can't moan- just got to find ways to deal with it not using tram or opiates.  The fatigue is not good and contributes to an ongoing sadness, but - I do notice this is getting less with each day I clock up.  The stomach issues - must be the body re-adjusting to life without tram.  Little sleep exacerbates everything.  I am so closely monitoring your posts SheLiz - and it seemed around now you were getting better sleeping patterns.  The last three nights I have not taken ambien.  I am trying a combo of juices and ginger tincture for the back plus yoga. Ibuprofen seems to upset my stomach even though I take it with food.  For the sadness- I have started St John's Wort.  May take time to kick in.  It is worth a try.    5HTP doesn't mix with it I have read somewhere- does anyone have experience of this?.  I do know for sure now - that my serotonin levels are extremely muddled.  I keep meaning to get melatonin and forget- but do have valerian root tea and my kitchen is heaving with vitamins.  The B vitamins are the best - high strength.  
Muchforgiven - you are just a week behind me- don't think about a pill now, the worst is over.  Even though I feel horrible still - I don't have major anxiety, RLS, am not constantly weeping, and more.  Little things change.  I think the lack of energy in these early days makes us think it will never never end and we'll be unable to function at a pace we used to.  That is the drug.  My energy is still very poor but, it is slowly slowly improving.  What we have done to our poor bodies - we can never estimate.  We must lovingly get strong and well again and be so very kind to ourselves in the process.
Solatesolate-- please heed the advice on this site.  You need professional help- get it today - it is SO important for you.  We will all be here for you too.
r35630 - your work load is enormous - I sympathise but, what a lovely job.  Soon you will be joining the warriors and your life will get so much better.
Sianey - you must be on day 4 or 5 - I do hope you are going well. You sound a strong person. Keep posting.
Regabe - thanks so much for sharing your story -- it seems we are all duped by this evil drug one way or another.  Yours is a harrowing story -- my god you have done well to have come through all that.  Nearly a year you are free - I would so like to be writing that in a post.  Everything your write helps one or many of us.  Just wanted to congratulate you on an amazing achievement and to wish you a wonderful tram free xmas.
SheLiz - keep posting - it's so helpful hearing about your progress.
Have the best day possible everyone.

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by SheLiz, Dec 21, 2010
Hi Lizzie

             Day 17 seems a long time ago but I think I was getting around 5-6 hours a night by then with the help of seroquel which is a pretty heavy duty knock out med.  It was about 21 days before I started getting more than 5-6hrs and I've had 8-9 hrs every night for the last 4 or 5 nights.  For the last 2 nights I have cut the seroquel in half and still getting a good sleep.  It is SUCH a relief to be getting sleep every night as I thought it would never happen again.  I will continue to take smaller amount of the seroquel until I don't need it.  I also have my natural sleep tablets but as they weren't helping I'm going to save them until I'm a little further down the track of recovery where they might be more effective.

             I do my yoga/physio exercises every night before I go to bed while listening to a brilliant online radio station I found on the 'Live 365' website.  The site has millions of radio stations but I listen to 'Whisperings' which is lovely classical piano music and very soothing.

             I didn't have much energy today but managed a nice walk earlier.  I'm still spending a lot of my day on the couch but there are some days where I am out and busy.  I was out most of yesterday but if I have a busy day I do have to sit quite often and rest before I can move on again. At least I'm getting out.  

            My restless shoulder has been definitely better over the last 4 days but was bugging me a bit this afternoon.  Just part of all the coming and going of symptoms I guess.  

            I'm just over 4 weeks now and happy with my progress knowing that it does take time and I will be improving even more from where I am now.  It still amazes me the effect the trams have had on my body and how much they have taken my life away from me.  I'm taking it back now.

Hang in there everyone and get your lives back

            

            

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by rt35630, Dec 21, 2010
I just wanted to comment this morning that I do read everyone's posts at least once daily, and you all remain in my prayers - especially newcomers.

I don't quite know what to expect. My life is good. I have a wonderful partner and we are each other's best friend and lover. We are moving from an apartment to a house with a huge yard which we will both enjoy - especially the yard. I have a wonderful job! I get to work with a fabulous boss, priest, and people five days a week at St. Bart's, and similarly wonderful folks at Westminster. I don't feel like the tramadol has ruined my life, but I know that there have been parts of my health it has affected negatively. The biggest thing is the addiction. That s****.

I hope and pray that in recovery I will be one of the lucky ones for whom the task is relatively painless.

On the other hand, regardless of whether it is easy or hard, I am recovering. Yesterday I tapered down to 8 pills. That is the first day in memory of only taking 8. It wasn't too bad. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

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by muchforgiven, Dec 21, 2010
Day 10 here. I feel preety awful this morning. Last night I couldn't sllep so I took an amitriptilyne that my Dr. had prescribed along with the tramadol for the pain in my back. I have never taken it though because the tram worked so well Anyway, about an hr. later i felt prett drowsy so i went to lay down again. Well, that began a whole night of restless body . I could not lay still. Is this what you call RLS? It didn't seem to be just in my legs. Well, I guess I did finally fall asleep and it is gone this morning. phew, that was awful. I feel pretty foggy, low enregy, achy, and generall miserable right now, but I know it will get better. For one thing i am not going to put any more pills into my body. I need to let it get back to normal on it's own.
I am really starting to be mad at this drug for what it has robbed me of. It is not going to master me, I will master it. This is war and the fight is very tough, but I have strong warriors on my side, all of you, who have gone before me and are showing me the way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Also, very weepy

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by sadman123, Dec 21, 2010
Any ideas how to stop sneezing?

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by MyFreedom, Dec 21, 2010
lol, sadman... Isn't that the most bizarre w/d symptom?! It drove me crazy at times. Try a 24 hour allergy med like claritin or zyrtec or a generic of one of them. They worked well for me. Hope you can find some relief.

:)

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by SheLiz, Dec 21, 2010
Hi Everyone,

                  Muchforgiven - I was on 75mg of amitriptilyne (Endep) every night for 16 years and came off that onto fluvoxamine instead.  It's another one you have to taper off but it doesn't have horrible w/d, none that I noticed anyway. I'll be getting rid of the fluvox as well starting to taper in Jan. 2011 :-)

              

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by sadman123, Dec 21, 2010
Thank you!!!

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by sadman123, Dec 21, 2010
I'm going to a cabin with my family in the winter woods, and I'm a couple days clean and feeling good but am feeling tempted to get a bring some, I know I won't but the I get nervous and want to make an excuse that its vacation and I'm afraid I won't have as good a time. I feel weak like this sometimes and I hate it...its like I want to bring some as back up, in case I'm feeling low, I won't bring any but in a way I feel like I won't have as good a time...isn't that sad? I keep reminding myself that this freedom with not complete comfort is still better than prison.

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 21, 2010
Sheliz - I just have to say it brings me such happiness to read your posts lately.  You sound so different than in the beginning - so strong with so much conviction in what you're doing.  It is so wonderful to read!

I have no doubt you are going to continue to be successful on your trip from tram he** and I don't doubt for a second that you'll be able to stop the fluvox in January.  Your definite tone in your writing leaves no room for question.

I just wanted to mention that because I know sometimes its hard to see the changes within ourselves.  I couldn't be happier for you!

Life without drugs is the BEST.  Hold on everyone, you'll see.  Just give it whatever amount of time it needs.  It's worth every second of the suffering withdrawal brings.  I'm excited for all of you!  (well, and me too! lol)

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by SheLiz, Dec 21, 2010
Thanks ImDone - I am most definite about getting rid of all the rotten medication that's been prescribed to me over the years.  I just want to be me whatever that is and whatever comes with it.

Having another tired day but just going with the flow.  Had a bit of a nap and now I'm off to my parents house for the night.  My sister and brother in law are down for Christmas so mum is doing a roast tonight.  I'm sure I'll have the energy for that ;-)

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by villafan, Dec 22, 2010
hi everyone,ive been reading all the posts on here back as far as 2008 and im so happy ive found this site cos i would have never believed i could get past a few days without taking a tramadol,i actually dont know how long tramadol has had a grip on my life but i was first introduced to it around 2002/03 and have taken it a lot since then along with a lot of anti-depressants and other pain killers,i had pancreatitis a couple of times due to alcohol and ive had the worst few years where i just accepted my life and the mess im in and i just learned to deal with my problems and believed there was no way to get better even though ive tried tablets upon tablets,lexapro,gamonal,prozac,,, and a couple of other anti depressants,i had to go cold turkey off lexapro after tapering down and i thought it was the worst thing ever with all the brain zaps etc. but now that feels like a walk in the park compared to this battle.im not sure how long tramadol has been in my system cos i used to take it on and off without ever given it a second thought but ive defo been on it non stop for 3 months so thats enough alone.i was on 300 to 400mg a day and i was taking 100mg SR(slow release) at night just to wake up normal but the last week i tapered down to 100mg then 50mg a day but i done it sort of quick rather than over a few weeks.and im now on day 4 cold turkey.im a diabetic aswell due to having pacreatitis a couple of times so i dont really drink much alcohol anymore.I decided to this for the sake of my partner of 5 years and my 17 month old son.I found it hard to taper cos i just kept feeling depressed and tired but i knew i had no choice and my attitude towards people had changed and i was a very angry person with a horrible attitude but i know im not like that i just felt tired and angry over nothing and i took it out on other people.My partner knew i was taking tablets but didn`t know what ones and i used to take solphadeine for days at a time so i did have problems just taking a couple for the pain and stopping there and she often brought it up and id snap at here saying i had to take tablets otherwise id be in bad form but i now know they are controlling me...

any how day 1-3 has been horrible , flu like symptoms,insomia,legs are weak and numb,tired all the time,eyes stinging from lack of sleep,brain zaps, and just felt totally run down and still do.

ive now been taking ibuprofen and its helped along with green tea lots of water,berrocca,pharmonton and paraceatamol/lemsip....ive also tried some herbal sleep remedies which haven`t helped but ive bought some panadol night tablets they contain paraceatamol and a anti-histamine to help me sleep so hopefully it works..

im also feeling like im going insane at times and when in bed i could sleep for an hour then wake up wide awake and feel like my skin is crawling and i cant stay easy and i feel like ive no room in the bed and the fact that my partner is there it feels like im in a coffin so i move out to the couch which doesn`t help so ive been going around like a complete zombie the last few days.

about 3 hours ago i started to feel great but the anxiety and the restlesness is kicking in and i can feel the my skin starting to crawl again and im finding it hard to type this cos i cant sit easy so if i forget a lot of info sorry and if its hard to read sorry.

its christmas in 3 days and i plan to be able to sit through dinner feeling a little normal but i know its a longer procedure than that.I really need to sleep tonight or ill crack up,dont want to take any other meds ive got lexapro and molipaxin there but just want to flush the demons out of me.

ive already noticed my sex drive has gone mental the last day or two and i cant stop thinking about sex and im getting erections to beat the band,whether its good or not im not sure at the min but its a good sign.Ive felt very suicidal over the years and ive come a long way with tablets but this is the one tablet that i believed was safe and low in side affects,how wrong was i.

only for this site i was planning to take 50mg of tramadol today just to taper down again but now im glad.this post is a little long so ill report back tomorrow,any help is much appreciated....:( i can see the light:)

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by SheLiz, Dec 23, 2010
Hi Villafan

               Welcome to the site, glad you found us.  I was so relieved to find it back a couple of months ago.  It's really been a HUGE part in helping me to get to 31 days free of tramadol.  I'm still pretty tired most of the time but the worst is definitely over and I can do the things I need to do without too much of an effort - a very different story to the first couple of weeks off it.  You will be right in the middle of the worst of it now so hang in there as it really does get better even when day after day you are sure it never will.  My sleep is much better now which really helps.

              It's very quiet on the site at the moment and there are usually more posts than this but it is a busy time of the year.

More later



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by villafan, Dec 23, 2010
thanks for your post sheliz

i got some sleep last night so feel a bit better today,but still at times go from tired to energised and then all over the shop.As you said very busy time of the year so ive loads to do so cant let this get the better of me even though i feel like there is a demon inside me wiating to burst out but i think im passed the very worst of it but ive still long way to go but im no where near as bad as the first 2-3 days which were hell and i could have easily took a small dose of tramadol to ease the pain,but no matter what anyone tells ya ,cold turkey has to be done even if you taper.you have to stop at some stage but coming off it at a higher dose is prob the worst so thank god i got it down to around 50mg -100mg a day before stopping.

feel a little sick today but need to eat to keep my strength up cos my little man needs to have a nice christmas no matter what i feel like.
ill make sure my family doesn`t suffer this christmas as they have suffered enough with my mood swings and all the demons that have come from me i really am slowly regaining belief that there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel cos parts of the day i feel great so if thats what is the result in the end i cant wiat..

any how ,everyone on here , hope yous all have a good christmas,im sure everyone thats at my stage wished they had of started ct at an earlier stage but try not postpone it till after christmas but if you cant do it at christmas keep your dose as low as possible cos it will make life a little easier at a later stage,we need to rid our bodies of all these poison chemicals that aren`t natural and they control our mind untill we set it free.

happy christmas and a happy new year,,god bless :)

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 23, 2010
Welcome villafan,

Congrats to you for getting off this poison!  I know exactly what you mean about personality changes.  It seems like the tramadol brings out the very worst side of our persona, and then magnifies it by 100!  Such a horrible horrible drug.  But keep telling yourself all you are feeling right now is the DRUG talking.  It won't let go without a fight, but you are much stronger than any tablet.  MUCH stronger.

I'm almost 150 days clean and my personality is back to who I am.  Not who that drug created.  And that is such a huge relief.  I know those feelings like you're going insane, so awful.  But it's the drug, not you.

Keep going!  You can do this.  And what a wonderful gift you are giving to your child and your family.  The real you.  This will be your best xmas, you'll see.  You will be able to look back and actually remember your holiday.  There are so many past holidays that are a complete blur to me.  But not this year.  Even though I think this holiday tends to be over hyped and over commercialized, I do appreciate the meaning of the holiday.  And this is the first time I have actually FELT the meaning.  And more importantly, appreciate them meaning on a true level.

Hang on warriors - soon tramadol will be just a distant memory, a bad nightmare, a horrible chapter of your life, finally closed.  We are all much stronger than we realize.

:-)

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 23, 2010
Sheliz - meant to say congrats on 31 days!!!  Yay for you!  :-)

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by whuami, Dec 23, 2010
I think I picked the worst time to CT. I am on day 5. I hurt all over and I am beyond depressed. I have even thought going to sleep for good would be an easier route. I have never felt such pain. I havent shared my addiction with anyone...ever.  I will write my story later, right now i feel sick.

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by angelmoon, Dec 23, 2010
Hello new ones...hello old ones...I have been with you each day but have not had any private time to post (kids).  For you new ones, just keep going.  Do whatever you have to to get some sleep at night.  The break in the battle was key for me.  Sleep deprivation is an issue to itself.  Force yourself to take a brisk walk in the morning right after your coffee if you can.  It seemed to really help to feel the sun and wind on my face. I completely shut down for a few days....didn't tell anyone of my struggle except a girlfriend.  I felt way too vulnerable to share and it was a hellacious battle only I could fight. I was only taking 50mg twice a day as prescribed.  My doctor assured me that there would be no withdrawal on that low of a dose. Bunk.  It is poison in every way.  Each day I had moments of clarity amid brutal withdrawals.  It was just enough traction each day to keep going.  The moments of clarity become profound and the driving force.  Don't forget how crappy you feel right now. It only gets better..and then way better.  On day 26 the sun came blazing out from the dark for me.  The withdrawals returned in a non linear way many times.  The sadness was SO sad and the depression and malaise felt like they would not end.  They did end.  I am about 125 days out and feel so happy and blessed to have made it to the other side.  I cried and prayed and sniffed my little boys head.  I got so mad at tramadol. Because of these posts I had to get the heart of a warrior.  I would come when I couldn't do anything else and find someone that was on the same day as me.  It helped so much.  I have had a couple of nights of the RLS recently...and still some sleeplessness.  Makes me mad all over again.  Please don't give up.  A good day is right around the corner.  Tomorrow I will list the supplements and things I have done.  I am much healthier now. Please be gentle with yourself.  Treat yourself like a friend and with love and patience. Nurture yourself in any way you can. Hang on.  Keep the vision of a clear mind and peaceful heart in your intention. You can do this. Call on God. Sending you much love prayers and strength.

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by SheLiz, Dec 23, 2010
Hang in there whuami - day 5 is almost over the worst of it.  Hope to hear more from you soon when you are up to it.  Just remember every horrible thing you are feeling at the moment is just the tramadol and the further you get away from this rotten drug the better.

I'm having a very tired slow day again today but it's probably just as well as I'll need to save my energy for Christmas day with my family tomorrow.  We've all have a hectic year so for the first time we have booked to eat out at a restaurant so no-one has to worry about cooking etc.

ImDone - 150 days is a huge milestone - well done!!!

Back to the couch for me - I could do with a bit more energy but I'm being patient :-)



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by rt35630, Dec 23, 2010
Hey all --  well, I managed to get all my admin work done by noon today, and finished the first in my round of Christmas services tonight. One down and five to go! I ordered what I hope will be my last refill on my prescription, and I told my partner Joe to take Tramadol out of the budget starting today. When these are gone, that's it...no more...ever. My plan is to detox throughthout late January and most of February. If I have to, this is a good time to take some time off. I will plan to take that first week off in toto - that means hiring replacement organists for two churches and two services, but that is okay. I should be able to work after the first week, even though I won't be "well."

I'm really thankful that I've found this site. It helps me to tell the cosmos my plan. Y'all hold me to my word come the last week of January, okay? I need your encouragement and tough love in case I try to wimp out.

Christmas and New Year's blessings to one and all...Randy

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 24, 2010
Sheliz - thank you so much for thinking of me.  I'm really happy.  For both of us.

I will pray that this new year brings all of us some much needed peace in our lives.  Thank you everyone for being here.  I could not have done this without you.  You all hold a very special place in my heart.

Hang on everyone - we warriors can do this!   Here's to a holiday that will mean so much to so many of us this year.  To begin a year free of the horrible poison called tramadol.

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by angelmoon, Dec 24, 2010
Hello...Merry Christmas Eve.  Here is a list of my little helpers.  150 mg of wellbutrin, Peter Gillhams "calm" magnesium supplement in the evenings. (you drink it). Multi vitamin, B complex, C, 4000 units of vitamin D, 1000 units of fish oil and probiotics (the kind you have to refrigerate).  Kids claritin once or twice a day for stuffiness and advil for TERRIBLE headaches.....that are now gone!!  This worked for me.  I started the wellbutrin the day I jumped off.  I still take it. Not many side effects for me.  I found that my afternoon coffee really amplified my stress and anxiety, not to mention sleeplessness.  Love coffee in the morning. Drink hot tea in the afternoon now. Stretching, walking, laying in the dark, counting and breathing slowly through the worst panic spells. Crystal light "fitness" is all natural with no sugar.  I mixed it in a huge waterbottle. The grape is really good and I drank as much as I could. Heating pad when cold, fan when hot.... I actually felt hot and cold at the same time.  These things are not a recommendation for anyone, just my list.  I still do all of these things most of the time.  Had such bad days in the beginning hardly drank or ate anything.  Sleep when you can, move when you can.  Take really good care of your precious self. Sending all of you love, peace, prayers and Christmas Blessings

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by lizzielang, Dec 24, 2010
day 21
happy xmas everyone--we will all be free. hello to newbies

fell yesterday -brke my wrist, bad break had to stay overnight and have op so only righthanded just now,
refused and refused tramadol. cant believe the strength i found. a lot of pain. hurt my back in the fall too.
had morphine jabs then oramorph at hospital.  back home now with paracetamol and good old ibuprven.  am fine-really fine -didnt take the tram. winning the battle
lizzy

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by whuami, Dec 25, 2010
Merry Christmas

...I dont feel so good and am feeling very sorry for myself. Very low self cofidence to boot.  You know..no energy, no desire. The exact opposite of what the devil tab did for me.  I was always after the rush.  I hate drugs...but i love drugs.  I hate how good they made me feel. I am pissed. I want to feel good again. I am so depressed. I am usually on fast forward 24/7 and here i sit wanting to cry or scream or ?????? I hate this. I will NEVER let the devil pill back in, god it hurts so much. I was up to 15 or more 50mg a day for at least 7 years!!!!  the money i spent ...god what a waste. The realness of life i lost all these years. It will be interesting to see "whu i am" when this is all over.

I do have a question...my doc put me on 30mg of Cymbalta...i was complaining of aches and pains due to menopause.....should i countinue or stop.  I was on Celexa?  I need to know it has only been a few weeks on the Cymbalta.  I had been having menopause **** on top of all this. My thing is this...is Cymbalta like tramadol  ???  If so...i will stop taking it right now.  I never want to go through what i have gone through the last few weeks.

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by fightorfight, Dec 25, 2010
Merry Christmas Whuami ;).

Cymbalta is an SNRI drug that works similarly to Effexor and part of the Drug in Tramadol (the N of the SNRI).   Its mechanism of action is different than Tram, and works more on different nerves in the spinal area, as well as being a serotonin reuptake inhibitor.  I took Cymbalta for a long while during my WD, and at the time I thought it did help.    Honestly, you're fighting a few different things with Tram--- those "feel good" feelings are part of the opiod and serotonin release.   Tram releases serotonin, similarly to drugs like MDMA and extacsy, which is why it works quickly as opposed to other antidepressants, which take weeks to work, because they downregulate or inhibit receptors.

Cymbalta has its own discontinuation syndrome (thats the drug reps name for withdrawl).   I had been on it for a while and had some similar Tram WDs (shakes, zaps, hot and cold flashes, sleeplessness).   The better news is its much easier to taper to rid yourself of that problem than Tramadol would be.    I'd say take one fight on at a time-- and 30mg of Cymbalta is a low dose.  It could help, at least initially, or it could make the Tram withdrawl worse because of the initial downregulation that occurs.   Think of it like this, you've been pushing your serotonin system into overdrive with Tram, and this other drug is now making those "feel good" receptors in your brain more selective....   So you're working with depleted serotonin, and less sensitive receptors... It makes the sadness feel a bit more profound.

There is a trade-off, the NRI part of the drug is supposed to be activating,  meaning you have more fight or flight energy, which could help in the middling periods of tram WD (anywhere from days 10-25/30) where you have low energy.  It could be helpful then... but again it takes a little time to work either way.

Good luck, and feel better.

FoF

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by whuami, Dec 26, 2010
SheLiz...thanks for the words of encouragement. I really need to get my head together. I am usually so "on the ball". HA...not right now. I do feel  better today, in fact i got dressed and went to costco. I was exhausted after a few isles. I just feel so energy-less. I hate that i have no desire for anything. What is strange, I dont remember who i really was or will be.

FoF...you know what your talking about, this is obvious. I have a question for you? If you were me, would you continue on cymbalta or just CT right now. I dont want to go through another detox!  I had been taking Celexa with good results.Then we moved, changed Drs and she suggested cymbalta, since i was having body aches and pains, due to either menopause or fibromyalga.

thank you ...both of you...for taking the time to answer.

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by SheLiz, Dec 26, 2010
Merry Christmas Everyone

                                      I've just dropped home to do some things around my place before heading back to my parents house for yet more food and friends.  It's been a lovely couple of days but I'm pretty tired - still not ready for all of this socialising and activity.  It's the 27th here in Melbourne so most of the festivities are over - until NYE at least.

        I hope you are all enjoying Christmas as much as possible and are all coping well.



              

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by SheLiz, Dec 26, 2010
Lizzy - what bad luck having a fall at this stage.  Good on you for refusing the tramadol.  I hope you recover well and quickly.

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by fightorfight, Dec 27, 2010
I hope your Christmas was ok Whuami,  now to your question:

Firstly, and this is going to take a little self-diagnosis (which I'm sure you've become an expert at during WD).   The aches and pains, are they always there to this severity or are they more something that hurts and throbs more whenever you're in the withdrawl stages.  I mean this aside from CT, where you're obviously hurting, but more in the period where you were taking but were becoming resistant--- I think everybody knows what I mean.. the dull achy, antsy, zoned out feeling of someone who is starting to withdraw?

If the answer is Yes,  then I probably would take Cymbalta, after talking to your doctor a bit more about the type of pain you're having.   I'm not a doctor but I've been through the gammut with the medical community enough to learn you need to be good at directing your doctor as to how you want your treatment to progress.   Cymbalta works for Fibro by a secondary method of action, primarily on its effects on the spinal nerve ganglia and its control of gastric and intestinal systems.  It does wonders, especially for women who complain of lower body and back pain because of this.   In men (me), it does the same, but also causes us to become hypersensitive to when we need to urinate (because the nerve transmission is slowed down in this area).   It is however, above all else, an Anti-depressant, and not a pain control medicine.

If the answer is No,  then I probably wouldn't take Cymbalta, at least not right now while you're going through the process.   I'd also recommend against Celexa as well.    I can explain in depth a bit further in private if you like (I don't want to go too off target here) but the main message is this:  One of the main lingering things of Tram withdrawal is depression and fatigue. This is because your body is used to having loads more serotonin coursing through it, and because your body is used to having more nor-epinephrine running through it.     You don't want anything to downregulate Serotonin receptors right now (Which most antidepressants do.)  because it will make the depression much worse.

If it were me, and I was through most of the opiod WDs, but just starting the Antidepressant WDs, I'd go like this:   Get all the vitamins, supplements, and nutrition you can read about here earlier.   I'd also make it a point to get a prescription for Wellbutrin (SR in its Generic Form, or XL in its Brand form..and those are the only two I'd recommend).   Its an antidepressant, and smoking cessation aid.    Its primarily an NRI, basically telling your body that its still ok to keep this much nor-epinephrine in stock and in use.   This will help a lot with low energy, and depression because of low energy.  I'd probably stick to just this (with maybe some additional help for sleep temporarily) until you reach the 30 day mark.... at which point the Tram should be out of the building completely and your serotonin receptors and producers have healed up enough to where your moods are your own again.    

Once you get to 30, then I'd make another appointment with the doctor and see if there is something he'd be willing to help choose to diagnose and treat any underlying depression or anxiety issues.    The biggest trick is that Antidepressants, as they're scheduled in the US and how they're made,  take time to work---- and they will work even less well, with exacerbated side effects if you're currently getting free of Tramadol.    So rather than try to chemically stop the moods, I'd just try to find something like wellbutrin or straterra that will give you enough energy to get to the tail end of withdrawal.

Whew... theres my book on the subject.

Keep on fighting the good fight guys, I know its so very tough :).

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by k9shilo, Dec 27, 2010
i have been off tramadol for 47 days now. i knewi couldn't do it alone so i searched the internet for a prescribing suboxone doctor in boise idaho and i have been clean 47 days now.  i truely believe that suboxone will give me the long term soberity that i have been trying to get for 2 and a half years.  i was on norco 10 mg-40 pills a day, got clean for 9 months then started tramadol because the doctor said it was non narcotic.  cool safe for me. whatever. i got up to 30 50mg pils a day.  i struggled and struggled just like many of u have.  now with the suboxone the struggle is much easier.  i am still having some cravings and still waking up with alittle withdrawal, i am on 16 mgs and once i get to the proper dosage this will go away.  i am still increasing my dose. i know i will get on the proper dose and do even better than i am now.  i strongly reccommend suboxone to to guys that are struggling.  taking this med is allowing me to get rid of the constant cravings and constant thoughts about pills so that i can deal with the issues that have caused me to use and continue using so that i can heal from my past and stay clean for the rest of my life.  some day i might beable to go off the suboxone but for now i am in no hurry.  good luck to u guys.  if u havent tried it it is worth a try.

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by whuami, Dec 28, 2010
Good Morning fellow warriors....I pray each and every one of you have a good day...one day at a time....

FoF...thank you for your time again! I have some things to think about. I am not sure what hurt and when, I got so caught up in tram. I am still taking 30mg of Cymbalta. I am wondering if my depression and meno problems came from my Tram addiction. hmmm...

I slept good, and I think today is going to be good. I did wake up with my legs achy in the middle of the night but made myself relax, and  think of how good I am doing, and went back to sleep. I havent had as much trouble with sleeping like most. But I have had all the other WD feelings for sure. the first few days i layed in bed crying, begging for the pain to stop.  I think i am over the worst, only to get better now. I feel the worst about money spent on the wrong things. But it is done and I need to pick up the pieces. I have made some horrible choices the last drug-induced 7 years. I actually think it could be closer to 10 years, the first 3 were hit and miss with other pain meds.  Thank god for my husband, who knows nothing. I am not working right now so i had the luxury of detoxing at home. I dont know how people made it to work. Do they realize how strong they were at their worst time??? Hero's....

Take care all....

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by soaddicted, Dec 28, 2010
I wish everyone luck! i am on tramadol myself and have been for about a year. i order them off the internet and pay alot for them. i have times when i cant afford them so i immediately start withdrawing without them. today is one of those days. i had the last of it last night and actually have another one waiting for me but cant seem to find the money. i ask myself everyday why in the world did i let myself get here. i use to take vicodin and percocet and occasionally oxycontin. i had a friend who gave them to me free. but when that stopped i started the tramadol. i remember when they use to give tramadol because it was considered a non narcotic but boy were they wrong. i will say by far tramadol has worse wd then the vic and percs. i want off the horrible things but i cant get myself to go throught the full blown wd. no one and when i say no one i mean not one person knows im addicted and have been for 5 years now. i think the worst part of the wd for me are the rest less leg syndrome that goes on at nights. it drives me up the wall and i feel like i could just kill myself. i want to be normal again and to actually have feelings for the first time in 5 years.. well here is day one off tramadol but how to make myself not start them tomorrow...

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 28, 2010
Soaddicted,

How do you stop?  By making yourself accountable.

This simply can not be done alone.  I know I felt so ashamed of my behavior and addiction and didn't want my husband to know.  But I HAD TO TELL HIM.  There was no way around it.  I could no longer trust myself to make sound decisions and knew that if I didn't have someone to answer to, I would fail.

I know this isn't easy to hear, but you are an addict.  And there is absolutely NO reason to be ashamed.  It happens to everyone, from all walks of life.  There is nothing wrong with the fact that you no longer wanted to be in pain and wanted relief.  That's human nature.  What is wrong is that you chose the wrong path to get well.  I know you're feeling panicked and scared right now.  But you simply must get support around you if you want to find a way out.  Please please give this some thought.  I thought I could get clean by myself and I could not have been more wrong.  Secrets keep us sick.  It's only when you let go and accept the fact that you need help, REAL help, that things will start to change.

I wish you much luck and we are here if you need someone to talk to.  But please, give someone close to you, who loves you,  the chance to help you become well.  And happy.  You deserve that.  I mean, we all do, right?

Keep reading and keep posting.  It wasn't until I fully understood what was happening to me that I was able to comprehend a way out.  YOU ARE WORTH IT.

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by ladylisa109, Dec 28, 2010
soaddicted - When I was WDing from Tramadol the restless leg thing was my worse withdrawal for me too.  After a couple of days of pure torture I was finally able to get something everyone was reccommending.  Hyland's Restful Legs or Hyland's for Leg Cramps worked terrific for me.  When the RLS was at it's worse it didn't completely take it away but it did drastically decrease it to a managable level.  When the WDs lessened some the Hyland's actually totally took care of the RLS.  I know they carry it at Wal-Mart ($3.94), CVS and Walgreens.  I get it from Wal-Mart and find it with the vitamins on the bottom self.  It's in a small box so it's easy to overlook.  Also, a lot of people reccommend a Mg, Ca and Zinc combo supplement along with hot epson salt baths.  I also use to purchase Tram on line and one of the things that finally helped me to break the grip it had on me was I simply did not have the money to purchase my re-fill.   It was really a blessing in disquise.  It is so freeing not to constantly have to worry about meeting the FedEx man in time so I didn't miss him, counting pills to see when I would have to order again or worrying about whether or not I would have the money in time for my next re-fill.  I am currently 140 free from Tramadol and can honestly say it was worth every horrible withdrawal symptom I had to endure.  One of the things I hadn't realized I had lost during my 6 yrs of using Tram was my laugh.  I have my laugh back now and happyness in my heart again.  My youngest daughter and I were joking around last night while watching TV together and we both got to laughing so hard we were crying and it felt amazing.  Hang in there because there is light at the end of the tunnel and there is hope and a life after Tramadol.  Blessings, Lisa

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by whuami, Dec 29, 2010
Good Morning sooooo-addicted....

I thought all day and even through out the night about you. You are ME, I WAS you.  I am a drug addict, you are a drug addict.  I did it to myself, and I got clean all by myself. I told no one and no one knew. And to this moment no one still knows...not the man i am married to  (25 yrs) not my grown kids ...not my friends. I claimed I had the flu. Only the people who i bought drugs from  and the people on this site know who i am and what i do ...dance with the devil. I got fed up with myself, my drugs, my pity party, the wasted money, etc...etc... You know the routine. I one day just said I AM F****** DONE. I flushed about 100 + pills down the toilet. The next few days i suffered, suffered horribly , cried and begged for the pain to stop. It was pure hell.  did i say pure painful hell. It was. But today I am free of all drugs. It hasnt been easy and it hasnt been fun. I have even decided no more Cymbalta (anti-depress). I need to feel Me...who am I.  If in a month or two i still feel i need Cymbalta, well i will make that decsion then. Right now i want to feel clean. I have made it this far and i am so proud of myself. I am in the middle of menopause to top it off, which is no fun either. I have made it and I will never go back. I am tired, sometimes feel crappy.  But I am clean. I am Clean...music to my ears. I never thought I could do it, but I did. I deserve it, my kids and husband deserve it.

Reach out...there are people here who know whats up.....

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by 444lynn, Dec 29, 2010
444lynn,
Male 54
Hello, this looks to be the place for me.  I'm a lightweight compared to some here but it is really comforting to see this monster I've been dealing with is very real to others.  
Small plane accident 1996...lots of broken things...learned to like some narcotics...morphine, codine, percocet...for more than just thier pain killing virtues.  Who doesn't...always made my life seem a little better, and my life is good.  I'm surrounded by people I love and who care about me.  
I'm more than average successful...businesses, land, and money...and am content with a very modest lifestyle.  That is a great combination by the way and I feel blessed.  It gives me a huge advantage dealing with this addiction.
Anyway....
I recovered... except for nagging pains in my ankle/foot (needs amputated) and back (have to keep it).  Trained for two years and ran a marathon in Dallas 2006.  Finished the marathon but left remainder of my foot/ankle in taters.  
So start two years on Percocet and when the Dr. suggested Tramadol  I was happy to be away from the NARCOTIC.
I actually quit Percocet once CT just to prove to myself I could do it and it alway worried me.(Yes I enjoyed it at the same time.)
WELL...after the last two years on Tramadol I find it is not working for the pain and my mental and physical state are deteriorating.  
No big deal I think...I'm only taking six a day...just quit...so I did...17 hours later SWEET JESUS whats happening to me...I had very nearly every symptom I have read about on the web in the last four hours.  
So its back to Doc who gives me a blank stare and suggests weaning off the Tramadol and trying an antidepressant that seems to help with long term cronic pain....I could have wrung his neck...I didn't.   That was two months ago.
Since then I tried to substitute Percocet, which I know I can quit CT and have lots of for the tramadol...that does not work...period.  Sounded good to me but the chemistry must not be there cause I had the same RLS etc.etc. as when I quit the Tramadol CT or I should say tried to quit.
So six a day taper-down for me the lightweight starting four days ago (Christmas Eve).  My question is how fast?   I'm down to four now and it has been pretty rough.  On top of that four of us in the house got the flu the day after Christmas.  The flu and cutting my dosage by 33 percent was a rough start.
I know I don't take near what alot of the people I read about here take but the symptoms of both addiction and withdrawl are nearly identcal to what they write about and very rough compared to anything I have been through.  Kidney stones were just a little worse...seriously...not much worse.
Seems like the withdrawl symptoms just jump on me so fast.
Suggestions?  Timeframe?  Rigid schedule or wing it?
Thanks and good luck.

  

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by MyFreedom, Dec 29, 2010
Hi lynn

Lightweight or not...this stuff is nasty!

I, personally, did a long slow taper. Whether or not you want to do a quick taper and then jump or a longer taper is up to you to decide. I chose the loooong slow route basically because I am a weenie...lol...and didn't want to risk being in the the throes of a full blown w/d and be tempted to start back (which is what I did the first time around years ago). I tapered down over several months time and am currently 280 days clean. At first, I set a rigid schedule. For instance, 2 50mg tabs every 8hrs (setting my phone alarm to remind me to take them on time...even through the nite when necessary). Once I was on that schedule for a few days, I reduced by a 1/2 a tab. Once any effects had worn off and I was comfortable again, I would increase the time intervals up to 9 hours. Again, once any side effects went away, I would reduce by another 1/2 tab....then increase to 10 hours....so on and so on. I did this until I got to 1/4 of a tab every 12 hours. By tapering so slowly, I allowed myself to step down the w/d gradually and it also gave me breaks in between the dosing reductions. I know a lot of people just couldn't do it that way because they just wanted to be done with it. I wanted it over with too, but just didn't have it in me to do a cold turkey again! It's totally a personal choice as to how you get yourself free of this ***@**** as long as you get yourself free is what matters, right?

You've come to the right place....no judgment here. Only friends. There's always someone around to offer advice, encouragement or a kind word.

Keep us updated!
:)

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by 444lynn, Dec 29, 2010
Thanks MyFreedom,
Did you get waves of depression?  They come and go for me and not to serious but unusual for me.  One thing I noticed is now that I have started a taper I am much quicker to feel the symptoms of withdrawl and they are more acute.  Chills worse than the worst flu, sneezing, anxity, diarea, coughing, and fatigue so bad I can barely get out of bed, no ambition to do anything or to sick to do it when I want to.  Take the pill and fine in an hour.  The fatigue and depression were taking place before I started to taper (the last three or four months) and were the main thing that mede me see the problem.  I was taking the pills more to prevent symptoms than the pain in my leg.  

What you say about setting your phone alarm makes alot of sense and I will start that tomarrow.  I tried the short taper and I don't want any more pain than necessary so will go slow.  

You know I don't think I have had a normal night sleep for two years.  Sometimes I liked the way it made me sleep because it made the night seem so long...but there is nothing natural about Tramadol sleep.  

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by madtram, Dec 30, 2010
444lynn, I agree with myfreedom.  A slow taper will help your brain adjust to the decreasing levels of the effexor like antidepressant in tramadol.  Most doctors acknowledge that effexor needs to tapered off but don't seem to know that tramadol contains a virtually identical chemical.

Your experiences with pre-withdrawal fatigue & depression are all too common due to the tolerance aspect of the drug.  I'm so glad that you realised what was going on.

Duration of use can impact withdrawals as much as dose & some have reported suffering coming off 50mgs a day so you deserve support as much as anyone else.  I hope that the slow & steady approach at least smoothes out the rollercoaster ride.

As myfreedom says, keep posting, there is a lot of hard earned experience around here.


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by oxydpndnt, Dec 30, 2010
Don't know if this is where I should post this,  I'm new here.  It seems you all know so much about tramadol. I am considering asking my doctor for it to replace oxycontin.  I'm just so tired of needing oxycontin to function. I take it for pain, but I know my brain is dependant on it. Should I switch to tramadol or maybe something else. If this isn't the forum to ask this question, please forgive me. thanks for your time.

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by madtram, Dec 30, 2010
Sorry to hear of your pain.  I would love to be able to help you with a positive report but unfortunately, all of us here have had bad experiences with tramadol for medium to long term pain management.

It's common to develop tolerance to tramadol such that the drug stops working for pain & people find themselves needing to regularly increase their dose initially to get any pain relief & then later, just to avoid going into withdrawal.  If you have read many posts, you will know that withdrawing from tramadol can be highly unpleasant so people can also end up staying on the drug just to avoid the withdrawal nightmare, even though it has stopped working for pain.

The problem with all synthetic opiates, including tramadol, for long term pain relief is that our opiate receptors are not designed to be permanently stimulated.  Have you tried any  alternatives such as celebrex; accupuncture or tai chi?  Antidepressants such as effexor or cymbalta can also help change your nervous system's perception of pain.  While these drugs also need to be tapered from, they tend not to have the tolerance problems of tramadol & imo would be a much less risky proposition.

Best wishes.

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by fightorfight, Dec 30, 2010
444lynn-- madtram and freedom did note probably the best way to go about it.   6 a day isn't something that anyone here would sneer at you for, as has been said:  duration, not dosage seems to be the main barometer for the severity of withdrawl and its length.  Thanks for sharing your story, and being open to the idea of stopping this terrible drug.  There are probably going to be days on a slow taper that you'll think of the "good" times you had with Tram (basically when you were functional), but know this, you can be functional without the tram being there.    With Tramadol, its always, always, always, the anti-depressant stuff that really hurts the worst.

I've done a lot of research on this drug, and other drugs mechanism of action due to conditions I have of depression and horrible anxiety (baseline mind you.. I've been off tram a year in april).  Madtram is right, doctors don't know that they're basically giving people weaker than codiene pain medicine with a moderate NRI, and selective serotonin releaser-  Thats one point I'd like to make.   The reason Tram makes you feel "good" is because it is releasing serotonin, which is the only drug I know of to be sold at market--- everything else that "dumps" serotonin out is illegal, not even scheduled.   Tram gets by this by being approved for its primary mechanism of action--- its highly selective mu opiod receptor hitting.

My main message here with this is:  Don't let the drug and the WD of the drug fool you.   Honestly you're not taking enough tram to do much damage to you as far as opiate wd is concerened. (with the right prep-work, you'd be done with that in 3-5 days).    The trick here is that Antidepressant WDs kick in too, almost as immediately.  Which is why WD really gets bad about 17 hours after the fact... thats when those parts of the drug are no longer functioning and your body is wondering whats up.     Its a messed up drug man.

Heres how I'd do it:
-buy a pill cutter (any drug store should have one)
-take one tram 50 and cut it into 4s  X2 (do this twice)
-use those 1/4ths as your "oh crap" stock... meaning if you're in WD too bad, taking 1/4th of a pill will at least get you up of the floor.   don't take them for any other reason than for this.



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by SheLiz, Dec 30, 2010
Hi Everyone

                  I haven't posted for a couple of days as I've been busy with the Christmas stuff and everything else that comes with visiting friends and relatives.  I'm manageing to do most things but still having to pace myself and rest often.

                  I'm definitely not 100% but I am thinking about and making plans for the future now where a couple of weeks ago I was wondering if there would even be a future.  So, still heading in the right direction.  I'm really wanting to get back into swimming laps but I'm not sure if I'm up to that just yet.  I'm trying to get a bit of walking done each day (really need to after all the food lately:-)  I used to do lots of long walks but I'm down to doing a 30 walk with a sit half way through.  

                 I went to the cinema with a friend today for the first time in ages and it was the first time I've had to sit through a movie without taking painkillers first.  It was a bit depressing as I was very uncomfortable and had to keep moving throughout the whole movie.  I have not taken any other OTC painkillers yet as I really want to stay off them as long as possible so that when I do start to use them they might actually work (they never have in the past).

                Anyway, I'm 38 days clear today and it's NYE here tomorrow so at least I'm starting 2011 being free of trams and well on my way to being free of the rest of it as well.

oxydpndnt - I would not want my worst enemy to take tramadol for any reason so if you can find something else to help with the pain go for it.  I'm trying a million things and I'll NEVER take tramadol again for anything.  It creates much more pain than it kills (both physical and emotional).

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by choose_life, Dec 30, 2010
Hello All,

   This is my scond time on here...the first being about 14 months ago, which would have been 6th failed attempt at getting off Tramadol. And here I am back again with a new resolve and a different game plan!!

   My background is that I have been on this stuff for 7 years. In that time I never took more than 6 x  50mg tabs a day. I was first prescribed them after knee surgery and have never sucessfully quit since....makes me soooo cross at the situation!
   I always got to about a week off them and would end up caving in. I would use the excuse that my life is too busy to be feeling so crap all the time, and would start off on them again. I am no couch potatoe, I am studying my Masters       ( Emerency Nursing), travel o/s on volunteer programs, work in a busy Emergency Dept, 4 days a week and I am raising two gorgeous  children on my own..

   As I said before this time my game plan is different and I just wanted to put myself out there, and by being involved on here it will make me feel more accountable in someway I hope!..So two weeks ago I started to taper down from 6 tabs a day to the point I am at now, which is I had my last dose 24hrs ago. I have also been on Welbutin ( prescribed) which I can def tell has made a huge difference in the severity of symptoms. Webutin is an anti-depressant and  it works on slightly diff way than the ant-deressant part of Tramadol .I know the two drugs are contra-indiated but for the short period of time i was on both ( and the Tramadl dose being so low) it was ok. I can honestly say I have had no "brain-zaps" and my energy level is so far ok.
  
   I am also on a huge amt of Vitamens and supplements, and using ibuprofen and panadol regulary.

  This time I feel my resolve is strong,  This time I will do it!!!!

                                             HAPPY NEW YEAR TRAM-WARRIORS!!!!

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 30, 2010
Welcome back choose_life!  So so glad you made it back here.

I applaud your recent efforts - you sound very determined!  There is one thing I can recommend that might help.  Please, if at all possible, find someone close to you, someone you trust, that you can open up to about what's going on with you.  I too thought that I could quit on my own and in the end, it just wasn't enough.  I had to come clean to my hubby (the closest person to me in all ways) to make myself accountable.  I also believed I wanted it bad enough, but it was way too easy to convince ONLY myself that I couldn't do it and had to be on the drug to function.  I was WAY to easy to convince.  My hubby, however, would not be so easy to convince.  And his help was enormous, albeit frustrating sometimes because I would want to ignore him and do what I thought was best for me.  I could not have been more wrong or misguided.  It simply didn't work when I could no longer trust my judgment.

I say this with only kindness and sincerity.  I truly believe you want off of this drug - you have accomplished so much in your life and are continuing to do great things.  Please give yourself a fighting chance to finally be free of this poison by 2011.  You deserve a very happy life as do your children.  I am rooting for you!!!  :)

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by Sweetstang, Dec 30, 2010
Hi everyone-

Well I'm back. I haven't been on since like September or October well because I've relapsed. I am so ashamed and dissappointed in myself. And the only person that knows is my Mom. And its worse now, much worse. The first week of taking trams again, it was wonderful, had energy back, had that amazing little buzz, felt great, took the headaches away with 2 pills in one day. Then it was 4/day, then 6/day, now I'm up to 10/day and I am almost out again. And now because of work, I had to reschedule my MD apt with my neurologist. I am so scared of the withdrawals again. And now my husband doesn't even know, so I need to struggle in secret. I started up again back in Oct. when we went camping and I had a bad headache, I refilled the trams, for that weekend, and then the following week was the anniversary of my brothers suicide death, then it was me and my husbands anniversary, then before you know it the Holidays and stress of that came. Also we are trying to have a baby and the stress of not getting pregnant when everyone else around me is getting pregnant without even trying or having their second babies is so completely discouraging. Then I have family saying over the Holidays. "oh maybe some day we will have a grandchild".  Stop stressing me out about it, were trying dammit!   So I just kept refilling them. I even called my md to get one last refill just to get me thru the Holidays. I feel awful and I am absolutely dreading go thru this again. I can't believe I did it.  I ran out a few weeks ago and was without for a day and felt absolutely miserable.

I had made it 40 days before, and gave up, the headaches didn't go away completely, the energy never came back. Now the very thought of never going back to trams has really got me scared. I don't know how to function without?  But I know this has to be the time to stop forever. The headaches are terribly worse now, I have felt sick everyday just about from taking trams, execedrine, all these meds just to relieve my headaches. I know this is not the way to live. I guess  this is my ultimate New Years resolution to rid myself of these pills forever! I so wish I could see my Md and tell her I've relapsed and why and get something, anything for the withdrawals. I have 9 pills left, and I am so scared, but looking forward to less severe headaches for sure. I will check back. Thanks for listening and Happy Holidays!

Cindy

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by Sianey_, Dec 30, 2010
Good evening!

Today is day 14 of my "detox" and have not touched one pill since I went full cold turkey! I didn't feel like I could handle being on them any longer and decided not to wean myself off but just to jump in the deep end.

I have been reading your posts every day, thank you to you all for helping me through this without even knowing it.

My restless legs are slowly easing. Still sleeping badly and struggling with more pain but everything just feels that bit sharper. No more drowsy, drug-filled days where everyone thinks I'm stoned!

Yes it is difficult, but it is so worth it.

Keep going warriors! Hope you have a very happy new year

xxSxx

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by 444lynn, Dec 30, 2010
Fightorfight - Madtram - MyFreedom  Thanks for your suggestions and I'm on my way for now.  I'm going to take it real slow but I'm going to do it.  I will do the pill cutting as suggested for a crisis situation and am going to  prepare a packet to send to my Dr. with imformation about Tram that the drug rep prabably didn't tell him.  
Go Huskers
Lynn

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by 444lynn, Dec 30, 2010
Sweetstang,
I don't want to sound judgemental...nobody here needs that.  But what would it be like for a baby born with a dependancy on ultram and as screwed up as this drug seems is there any possibility that child would NOT be adversely affected by the drug. ...Possibly in a very serious way and forever.  

Six years of infertility tests, treatments, and pain for my wife and I prior to our first child so I know that pain also and saw how hard it is for a woman.  Get clean again...for the little one you want to have.
Lynn

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by 444lynn, Dec 30, 2010
Oh by the way my Doctor gave me a prescription for 250 Tramadol with four refills the first time he prescribed it to me.  What a clod.


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by Sweetstang, Dec 30, 2010
Lynn-

Maybe I didn't write that very good.  I in no way shape or form would consider taking any medications if I were pregnant. It was just another reason why I fell off the wagon as everyone around us has children or is expecting and it was just another blow to find out once again, we weren't. That was the main reason I tried quitting tramadol in the first place. But it was just like "oh well, I'm not pregnant, and felt like probably never will, so just another reason to start up again, and since starting back up again, we really haven't tried again.

Glad to hear you finally got your little one, best of luck to you both!

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by choose_life, Dec 30, 2010

Good morning.......

ImdoneNoMore ---- thank-you so much for directly respondng to my first post in such a sincere and caring way.              I appreciate your concern, and I probaly didn't make myself too clear about the Welbutin prescription.
  I have confided in someoe, a close friend who aslo happens to be a Dr where I work.....so we   devised ths plan together after researching what we didn't know already about this drug and then   coming up with Welbutin as an aid to help with the lack of energy and depression that follows coming  off tramadol. So  I do have a vey caring non-judgmental support person this time around. I agree that I need to make myself accountable to someone other than myself.

I am feelng pretty good today, really can only report some leg cramps overnight which I'm sure would have been worse had I not taken a heap of Magnesim and Zinc washed down wth Tonic water an hour before bed. I keep waiting for the train to hit me but it hasn't and maybe it wont due to the Welbutin,and reg Panadol and Ibuprofen. I hope not as I dont have time of work , but I think/hope  the adrennaline rush of where I work should help keep my mind off it!!

Sianey - 14 days is awesome!!! good on you :)

Best wishes to everyone else on here and to the people who are just readers of the posts, we can all do this !!  xx

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by ImDONENoMore, Dec 30, 2010
Choose_life  - I am so glad to hear you've confided in your friend.  And the fact that he (or she?) is a Dr. I'm sure will be very helpful to you.  I have a good feeling about your posts and the determination in your words - I just know you can do this!!

Sheliz - nice to see you again and glad to hear your holidays were good.  I know the fatigue and lack of energy can be discouraging, but you'll find with more time those symptoms will subside too.  It's so great to see your tracker at the end of your post - just think how far you've come!  You are doing so great I'm really happy for you.

Madtram - always so comforting to read your posts and so great that you still check in on everyone.  I would have been lost without your knowledge.  Thank you.

Hope we all have a good new years.  And then life will get back to normal finally!!  Happy New Year's everyone.  :)

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by whuami, Dec 30, 2010
another good day!  Took the time to call old friends and made plans to meet today for lunch. What a great day we had.We laughed for hours and had a great time. Something I havent done in a very very long time. Actually in about 7 yrs. when my 22yr old daughter was killed by a drunk driver. I moved 900 miles away and basically deserted all of my friends...and family.  I  moved back about 6 months ago, decided to get off Tram and get my life back. I shared my drug addiction with my 3 closest friends today. They were shocked but told me they were there for me. they said they had missed me. Well today is the first day of the rest of my clean life from Tram !!!!!. I even made plans for NYE !!! We are going over for dinner and snacks. I had fun today...all day.  First all day adventure. I am tired now and going to bed. I wont say I felt great all day, but it wasn't bad. Just a little headache, and a few body aches. And even moments of foggyness, but i made it. Life is getting real again.

Everyone have a clean and safe New Years Eve !!!

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by Nothingleft, Dec 31, 2010
Day 6 off of these evil lil pills. So sick i cant or dont hardly want to type....but i cant sleep, and this seems to be a place where i can get some help and support. I have such an addiction prob with every type of pain killer i feel like i cant deal with it anymore. Im 33 and have chronic back pain..surgery ect. And so many issues in my live.I have taken so many pills in one day..and every day for years...every day has been a battle..and i just have nothing left. Im at my ends. I dint come here to dump on people...or bring people down so dont get me wrong please. I just read this entire page all the way from the beginning of this month..and i give you all so much credit. You all seem so positive i think thats great. I just dont c any light.Is there such a thing where a person is just so far gone, that he should just keep on going with the meds..and just be happy with making it to my 40s? Just accept that this is my life...and when i have pills i feel good..and when im out..just deal with it cuz this is just the way it is for me? Im not suicidal or anything, but i feel so empty..sad....depressed. I would greatly appreciate any input from any of you and thank you all very much for your time. I hope you all succeed in gaining your freedom from tramadol. What a terrible drug. Worst withdrawals iv ever had...even coming off 10mg percs doesnt compare to the hell this tramadol puts a person through. Still cant believe Dr.s push this stuff and its so easy to get. Unreal. Anwayzzz...guna go lay down and fight through this night. Tomorrow is day 7 and im just friggen dying here. I do feel a tiny bit stronger just knowing theres other people out there feeling my pain.   Night all.....

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by SheLiz, Dec 31, 2010
Hi Nothingleft

                    Sorry to see you feeling so rotten.  I've had chronic back pain from a motor bike accident in 1981 and have tried everything.  I had an L5 S1 fusion in 2000 which helped a lot but didn't help the upper back which I had been ignoring as it wasn't screaming as loudly as my lower back, hips and legs.  So the upper back and neck are my problems now and I'm going to have to work out how to deal with them without any more painkillers.  The further we get away from trams and other poison the better.  The first 3 weeks were the worst for me but I'm at day 39 now and have been able to sleep much better for a couple of weeks now (with about 10mg of seroquel at night).  The empty, sad, depression is CLASSIC tramadol w/d and other here could give you a better reason for why that is.  If you go back through even more posts there is a lot of mention of the depression etc.  Hang in here and we'll all get there together.  

         Whuami - it's great to see you making the effort to get out and do things AND feeling happier.  I still find things an effort and feel 'lazy' most of the time but it do enjoy it when I get out and don't feel so 'guilty' when I get back on the couch. Have a lovely NYE and an even better 2011.

         Sianey - nice to see you again and can't believe you're at 2 weeks already.  That's great.  Another one of the team has broken free!!!!!!

         Hi to all the new faces - 444Lynn, Sweetstang, choose_life and anyone else I've forgotten.  You are in the best place to get the support to get rid of trams and get back to life.

         Madtram, FightorFight, Im Done, thank you all again for hanging around to help the rest of us.
         Lizzie - I hope you are OK and have coped with everything over Christmas.

        Only about 4hrs left of 2010 here in Melbourne and I'm going to get ready to go out to watch the fireworks from a friends 28th floor apartment in the city.  

I wish you all a fun NYE and a VERY happy and healthy 2011.

          

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by bethwillprevail, Jan 01, 2011
Hello tram warriors- old and new to this wonderful site.  I am so thankful for all of you in this new year.  Together we can beat this drug.  I have been reading posts the last few weeks, just not able to post.  Finially got a quiet minute.

Nothingleft- your feelings are so typical of the first few weeks of WD.  Hang in there- it will get better.  It's that antidepressant part of Tramadol that hooks us in and keeps the pills coming.  You just have to hold on to your resolve and this will pass.  You will have ups and downs with those feelings for a while, but the swings will get less extreme as time goes on.  Every day dos feel like a battle, but you are winning!!  

Whumui, Chooselife, Sianey- keep up the great work- and it is work to make it thru WD.  Be strong and stick to your plan.  Keep coming here for support.  

Sweetstang-  I was on them for 10 yrs and got off for about 3 weeks last May and then had a relapse due to feeling depressed.  I have made it 135 days this time.  I got on Welbutrin at the beginning of my WD and I feel that relly helped me thru the worst part of the depression and helped me to be successful.  It also cut my cravings to zero- which was amazing.  Just get totally rid of the trams- none in the house, and plan out the rest of your pills.  I had to basically do my WD with no one knowing too.  Hard but it can be done.  I just said I had the flu.  You did it once, you can do it again!  You dont want to live in bondage to those pills for the rest of your life!!  Get angery at the power they have over you.  Dont let the lies those pills tell you make you feel you cannot try again and succeed this time.  You can do this!!

Lissielang- hope you are doing better with your injury.  Great job- stay strong!!

Muchforgiven- Hope you are doing OK.  Hang in there! We are all here for you!!

Sheliz- You are doing great!!  I love reading your posts.  It helps me remember what I went thru.  You are doing a wonderful job  encouraging others.

A huge thanks in this new year to Angelmoon, Ladylisa, FoF, Im DoneNoMore, MyFreedom, Madtram- and other oldies here that encouraged me as I was in early days of WD and continue to help others get off these evil pills.   I definitely credit God's help and this site and the people here with my success.  It is a hard road and if we walk together we are much stronger. You cant truly understand it if you havent walked it yourself.  Everyone here is still on that road.  We will always be.

Here's to 2011 and a tram free year for all!!  God's blessings to all!

Beth  



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by angelmoon, Jan 01, 2011
Beth, you also have been such a huge inspiration to me.  I know we are somewhat close in our timelines.  I think of you often as a sister in arms.  I loved what you said about us all being still on that road.   Here on this road for that only we know ....we will always be. So true.

For all of you new ones in the fight. Stay strong.  The crippling sadness is part of Tramadol's wickedness.  Get angry with these pills. You will feel better.  It's so hard in the beginning....depressed, no energy or internal motivation and really...that is depressing! A vicious cycle that you will come rolling out of again and again.  The whirlpool will get smaller and farther away...you really start to come to yourself in an honest way. The wellbutrin along with some sleeping aids really helped me.  I did the withdrawal with out telling anyone except a close friend.  I could not tell my husband. He just thought I had the flu or something and I let it go at that. I had a great day  on day 26 but on day 38 honestly thought I could not fight it anymore and considered taking a tramadol.  I did'nt and knew I would'nt.  I NEVER want to be in that dark place again.  The withdrawals are so non-linear.  Coming to this sight and hearing that again and again from the vets so helped me cope and prepare. Around day 40 I really did start feeling so much better.  I was almost afraid to say it.  Someone, I thing beth said that a really bad day was normally followed by a really good day.  That pattern stood for a while.  I liked knowing and preparing.  She also said that when the wd's returned with a vengeance it was probably PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms).  I looked it up, and yep, that was it.  I feel almost completely normal now but still battle sleeplessness.  Tramadol steals your joy like nothing I have ever experienced.  It steals it and makes you thing you will never get it back.  Tramadol is a liar.  Your body will start to respond to the poison leaving and really rise up to meet you.  Don't stop trying.  Your joy is still there.  Count on it. Be loving, patient and nurturing to yourself. Hang on. The sun is just around the corner.  much love prayers and strength. A peaceful new year to you all. angelmoon



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by lizzielang, Jan 02, 2011
happy new year to everyone- especially sheliz who took off -so to speak closest to me back in november.  you all inspire. difficult to post- injured back and hand from fall at xmas--healing WITHOUT tramadol. however- am reading all the posts.

30 days now- feeling SO MUCH BETTER

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by fightorfight, Jan 02, 2011
2011 Its been for a while.     Anyone new or old,  happy New Year.    For anyone in the shadows (like I was for so long a year ago, this time),  know that you can do this, and that you can be out of this mess.   It doesn't come without some work, for sure-- but the support you'll find here should echo the own thoughts you have about yourself.   There is nothing wrong with wanting to take your life back.   Thanks to everyone in this particular chapter of the Journal... its good to see so many people who have been through this recently help the people that are coming next.

Take care everybody, and stay well.
FoF.

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by 444lynn, Jan 03, 2011
An observation ... at the advice of MyFreedom I started using my phone alarm and taking my slow taper at exactly eight hour intervals.  Proir to that I was winging it and as a result putting myself through alot of unnecessary ups and downs.  Since I went to rigid timing I have felt much better.  I know when it is the eight hour :) I'm definately starting to go down hill by the eight hour.  Overall MyFreedoms advice has made it alot easier.  Thank you for that simple but effective tip.

Been on drug for two years.  Started tapering at six per day the day after Christmas and now on my first day at 2.25 per day or 3/4 every eight hours.  Prabably do that for three days and then go to smaller dose at six hours...or eight...not sure yet.  My pill cutter strarts having trouble after 1/4 cut...maybe I should snort the powder :O...

Physical symptoms not as bad but dead tired even with extra tossing and turning (sleep) and fighting depression.  I also get anxious...weird thoughts and fears of short duration...even dumb things like dark room fear every now and then.  

Hang in there everyone and thanks for the advice.  

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by Sweetstang, Jan 03, 2011
Hi everyone, thanks for all your support! I am gonna need it this time for sure. CANNOT believe I am here again. Made it 40 days and now here I am, 3 months of cheating and relapsing back to WD and about 36 hours since my last pill.

DAY 1-we meet again...starting over and a fresh start I hope...for 2011.

I totally planned to taper this time, well that went out the window real fast even stooping so low to borrow 3 trams off my mom who really NEEDS them. Feel like a piece of crap to and for lying and well all that.

Basically went cold turkey again, took 10 the day before New Years Eve
Down to 6 New Years Eve
3 New Years Day
Last 50mg tramadol...and stress LAST TRAMADOL January 2, 2011.

Feeling pretty much like poo if you want the truth. Flu-like again, Cold sweats which I hope will be better tomorrow as last time all symptoms were worse the first 24-48 hours. Insomina, headache, kinda achy, RLS, depressed and very, very fatigued. It took everything I got to get up the last 4 days and work. So glad I have off the next 2days. Of course these damn christmas decorations aren't gonna take themselves down :(  And like I've been reading, its all done in silence as only my Mom and a close friend at work know about my relasping. Hubby just thinks I'm lazy or cause of my headache. I can so blame it on the flu going around at work though.

I just want to be normal again, and see everyone around me who aren't on meds to keep them going, to feel normal for once and well good once!  40 days I made it last time and I gave up for numerous reasons, but also because I still didn't feel normal or healed, so well the rest is history. I have no more trams anywhere and  no more refills so that ought to help this time.

Thanks for listening and best wishes to everyone.

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by Sweetstang, Jan 03, 2011
I also had a question if anyone has an answer for me. I have an apt with my Neurologist and would like to bring some type of info in regards to this addictive medication and how easy it was to relapse on it. I want to prove to her that I'm not the only one out there struggling with this. Thanks.

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by madtram, Jan 03, 2011
444lynn, you seem to be coping very well so don't want to deter you at all but just wanted to say that your taper is quite rapid, having gone down from 6 to 2.25 in a week.  If you do feel you need some relief, you could afford to slow the taper by holding at your current dose for a week before dropping further.  A more gentle taper would be to drop a pill a week until you get down to say 100mg, then you can subtract 25mgs a week.  Of course everyone is different & there's no guarantee that going slower will help with your particular symptoms  but there have been some reports of minimal suffering by people who have reduced their dose by slivers of pill by the end.

Sweetstang, sorry that you have to go through this again, I understand how it can feel as though complete healing is taking too long.  

Very few doctors would agree that such a thing could happen more than 2 years after tramadol withdrawal but I seem to still get the insomnia back after even very short term doses of codeine.  I took 2 tabs to get through an exam with an antibiotic resistant UTI & got a much milder version of the palpitations plus insomnia for the next few days.  There are other things that could cause these symptoms, including menopause, the antibiotic cipro which can cause insomnia or post exam stress but I had a similar experience a few months back with codeine.  There is no doubt a degree of "all in the mind" about this but it seems that my body still doesn't want to know about opioids in any form.

The more I learn about biochemistry, the more I appreciate the fine tuning of each & every molecule in our bodies, so it doesn't really surprise me that if you redirect a chemical pathway for 6 years, it will take time for new patterns to replace it.  I continue to hate the insomnia with a passion that is completely unhelpful & it always makes me feel like taking a pill to "fix it".  So this is my NY resolution, to accept that my body will sort itself out if given the chance to do so.  

It's been quite a lesson so far.  I now find that I can deal so much better with pain although I took tramadol for all those years because I was terrified of having to live with pain.  The tramadol legacy of insomnia has been far tougher for me to deal with.

Lizzielang, very sorry to hear about your fall, you seem to be in great spirits considering.  I am very impressed with the way that you & Sheliz, ( & everyone who has just come through withdrawals), have gotten the job done.

Here's to a bright sparkling 2011 for all of us & especially our dear Emily who started me on my tramadol free journey & provided the environment that continues to teach me important things.





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by madtram, Jan 03, 2011
Sweetstang, if you send me your email address, I can send you some medical research on tramadol's addictive properties.

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by SheLiz, Jan 03, 2011
Hapy New Year Everyone,

                                     I'm just back online after a whole 3-day self-imposed break from my computer and it was a nice 3 days.  I work online so while my headquarters was on holidays I thought it was a good time to take a break from the demands of the internet.

                                     I've made it to Day 43 and I'm feeling pretty good.  On 2nd of Jan I finally made it back into the pool to do some laps.  I only did half of my normal 1km swim but I was just so happy to get myself back in the water again.  There was a time a few weeks ago where getting beyond the letter box was to exhausting to even think about so swimming 1/2km is just amazing.  I have also done a 30min walk most days which helps on all levels.  I get out into the sunshine (we have a bit of that here at the moment :-) and I don't feel so crappy, lazy and useless.      

                                     My daughter lives in the UK at the moment and we are going to meet in Vietnam later this month for 3 1/2 weeks.  A few weeks ago I was wondering how I was going to cope but now I know I will be fine and am really starting to look forward to it.

                               I'm still taking about 1/3 of a 25mg seroquel for sleep at the moment.  At this level I get a definite 4 hours sleep.  Then I wake about 4am and either fall asleep again from about 6am til 9am or just dose on and off for a while before giving up.  On 1/2 a tablet I sleep well but have trouble getting up even after 8-9hrs.  As much as I'd like to get rid of the seroquel completely I'm a bit worried that I still won't be able to sleep without them.

     Lizzie - it's definitely not fair that you've hurt yourself and I'm very proud of you for not resorting to the trams again.  

Thanks Beth and everyone for you words of support and advice.

Madtram - I'll send you my email address if you could send me some of that research as well.  Thanks
                                    

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by Sweetstang, Jan 04, 2011
Day 2....again.

Insomnia kicked my butt last night, tossed and turned for about 4 hours and then slept about 5/6 maybe? Off today(thank god) so  I could try and sleep in. So trying really hard to put my christmas decorations away and clean up the house a bit and have absolutely no energy or drive to do it. My head is pounding and feel so weak. I'll check in later.

Cindy

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by SerenityD, Jan 04, 2011
I stumbled on this post during my normal obssesive self diagnosing trips throug hthe wonderful world wide web, and was floored. I am sick, and there isnt a doctor that has really done much more than passed me on to the next dr and pumped me full of drugs. I blindly trust that this next prescription  will help me. Long story short, I have deabilitating pain and have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was put on tramadol and until right now had no idea it was addicting. Is this something that I should avoid at all costs? I can barely get out of bed most days with/ or without it.

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by 444lynn, Jan 04, 2011
madtram,
You are prabably right.  I dropped from one pill every eight hours to 3/4 and things went bad.  Got about three hours sleep last night...gave up and watched a movie...standing up part of the time because of my legs driving me crazy...dead tired and it's Monday to boot.  I'm going to stick with 3/4 and see how it goes but maybe spend several days at that level.  
Its crazy how droping 25% can cause that much discomfort when I was very stable at 1 per 8 hours.  I must just be riding on the edge.  I am soooo looking forward to being done with this stuff.  I think I will have to get a sharper pill cutter.  

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by MyFreedom, Jan 04, 2011
lynn ~ I'm glad the rigid schedule is working for you. My doc actually suggested it for me when I began. I was lucky and had a doc that at least somewhat understood the problem. She allowed me to come up with my own taper plan and she allowed me to taper at my own speed. She held me accountable by having me email her with my progress and current dosage needs each time I needed a refill. Without her and my husband's and son's support, I don't think I would've succeeded. I agree that maybe you should hold at your current dosage for a while. When I would hit those rough patches I would hold at that dosage / interval until I was physically comfortable again....sometimes that would mean staying at a particular dosage / time for up to two weeks. Only then would I decrease dose / increase time. It would get very frustrating at times, but at the same time, it strengthened my resolve to get this poison out of my life. Believe me, if I'd had the mental strength to go cold turkey, I would've....but I just couldn't. In a way, the taper was me saying to tram...haha, see I can control YOU, not the other way around anymore....you will be out of my life, just watch. Maybe that sounds silly, but hey, it worked for me!!

Keep us updated!!

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by Sweetstang, Jan 05, 2011
Day 3

Actually fell asleep last night pretty easily(thank god). Feeling better today, woke up with a little bit more energy, but a nasty headache. Drank some water and took some Execedrine, feeling ok now. Just tired and a little drained. Finally got most of the Christmas stuff put away, just have to take the tree out(all undecorated) and put my village away and I'm done. Finally! Hope Day 4 is even better as its back to work for a few days again.

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by Tramahell, Jan 05, 2011
Hello there. I am just coming to the end of day 4 of CT withdrawal. It's been 97 hours since my last tramadol capsule. Today has actually been my worst. My entire nervous system feels like it's on fire, my skin is crawling and I am very restless. These have been by far the worst of the withdrawal symptoms! I haven't slept in two days either which is making me feel worse. I have taken Tramadol for about a year at approx. 200-250mg per day. Can anyone give me an idea as to when the worst of these symptoms will subside? I have read a lot of accounts of people turning a corner after about 5 days? I still expect to feel rubbish for a while but I'd desperately like to get over the worst very soon. How soon before I see the light at the end of the tunnel?  

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by Sweetstang, Jan 05, 2011
Tramahell-

Hi. I can relate. I went CT both times. Its day 3 for me now. I was on Trams for about 5+ years and the first time I went off in Sept. '10 was absolute hell. Was clean for 40 days and I relasped for the past 3 months. Hoping this is it this time. Its blows, not gonna lie.  But I feel actually pretty good today off and on. But I was also up to 600mg at my highest dose. I found myself taking more and more and it just stopped working. The first 24-48 hours were truley the worst for me both times.  Its different for everyone.  But I was still not completely back to my self at 40 days partly why I relasped among other reasons. After a week though, really things do get better, hang in there! Best of luck!

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by SheLiz, Jan 05, 2011
Hi Tramahell

                   As Sweetstang says it is different for everyone.  I'm now at Day 45 and apart from not really back to full energy and a few barely noticable WDS I am feeling pretty good and positive.  The first week at least was HELL on every level.  I didn't really get much sleep at all in the first 10-12 days then slowly started to get a couple more hours a night.  I am now sleeping about 8 (broken) hrs a night which is amazing as it was only a few weeks ago I thought I'd never sleep again.  I am taking about 10mg of seroquel to do that though and not sure what my sleep would be like without it.  The smallest seroquel dose you can get here is 25mg and it's a small tab to start with so not easy to cut into bits.  

                  Everything was huge effort in the first 3 weeks or so - can't remember exactly but I am now able to do most things during the day.  I try for a 30min walk 3 times a week at the moment - would like to do more down the track.  I'm just about to head to the pool to do laps for the 2nd time since getting rid of tramadol and I'm even going to try out for a rowing team on Sunday morning (I've never done rowing before) so I am definitely feeling much better than I did in the first few weeks.  

                 So, the thing is, how long it takes is different for everyone.  What is the same for everyone is that it WILL happen. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel and you will feel much better.  In the meantime hang in there and know you are in the right place here.



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by whuami, Jan 05, 2011
Day 17...from Ct after being on the Tram ride for 7 years and taking 600mg++ a day!!  Hang in there!!  I feel soooo much better. I think I feel better quicker because I havent had too much problem sleeping. I know a lot of people have trouble sleeping. I have off and on, but not too bad. My body ache and depression almost did me in. I seriously was in so much body pain I thought of killing myself.  But it has passed and i feel alive again. It has been a long time on Tram and i dont know who i am. But it is uphill now and i will never go back. It feels good to be clean. I still am tired but no more brain zaps, or depression or bady ache. Just easily tired....Keep up the hard struggle to be clean . It is so worth it.

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by Tramahell, Jan 06, 2011
Thankyou for your replies. This site has been the only thing keeping me going, so glad I found it, otherwise I might have been tempted to go back on Tramadol just to ease the WD symptoms. Anyway, it's day 5, 111 hrs since my last Tramadol. My WD symptoms hit their peak in the early hours of this morning... I really thought I was having a heart attack, I felt like I couldn't breathe and my arms and legs felt like they were on fire! The most disturbing sensation to me is the skin-crawling feeling, it actually feels a bit like prickly heat. My nervous system has really taken a battering from that evil Tramadol chemical concoction! Anyway, I was thrashing around in despair at about 2am feeling that I might die when mercifully, out of pure exhaustion I actually  fell asleep! I only managed about 3-4 hours but that is a godsend at the moment. I think that I could possibly be starting to turn a corner. I still feel like I have the flu, I'm still having the weird skin-crawling feeling and feel like there's battery acid running through my veins (horrible symptom) but it is becoming ever so slightly more bearable I think. Also forgot to mention about the anxiety when withdrawing off this rubbish. It's not good. I'm also concerned about the depression I've seen people mention a lot. I haven't had that so far, it's mainly been anxiety, but I'm worried that it might creep up on me at some point. I am so ANGRY at this poison. I, like many others, took Tramadol because they say it's non-narcotic and I thought it would be far better than taking something opiate based. I'm shocked at how much this poison messes with your brain and nervous system... It's such a complex drug, far more complicated than full-on opiates. I'm extremely annoyed about the anti-depressant effect they've thrown in for good measure and how it affects serotonin. Is there any marked pain relieving benefits to that? I can't help feeling that the drug company has thrown that in to get people even more hooked! To anyone who's stumbled accross this page and considering taking this junk, please don't start! Tramadol is a devastating drug. It will totally mess your brain chemistry up and destroy your nervous system! Don't even consider taking it short term!  

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by 444lynn, Jan 06, 2011
It takes me about three days to feel myself again after 25% reduction.  I'm steady at 2.25 per day now.  I wish it could go faster but I've got alot of responsibilities and staying home isn't an option right now.  Tomarrow I'm going to drop to 1.5 per day  1/2 every eight hours.  I don't crave this drug like alot of people mention.  I loath it and feel about the same of the DR. that prescribed it...not quite.  As I'm stepping down I'm not really noticing increased pain in my leg.  I don't think it has been very effective for my leg the last few months.  I will take Percocet or something else for acute pain when I have it.  Never Tramadol.  It will be ceremoniously flushed in about two weeks at this pace.  
Hang in there everyone.

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by Tramahell, Jan 06, 2011
I'd totally planned to taper off but I never got around to it. I think it's good if you can but it takes a lot of self discipline. I never got the chance to taper as I completely ran out. At the time I was mortified and didn't think I'd survive! I'm now glad I ran out and went cold turkey. I know I'd never have been able to taper off completely. At least now I've had to finally face my fears and just get off the stuff completely. I know it's early days but considering how I never want to have to go through withdrawal symptoms like that again I'm confident in saying that I never want to touch that rubbish again. Let's hope I don't!

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by Sweetstang, Jan 06, 2011
Day 4

Feeling pretty good. I lot better than I did the last time I went off it.  Sleeping off/on, but sleeping, so I'll take it. Still get anxious now and then like out of no where and I'm very quick to lose my cool(one thing I found comforting about the Trams-just kinda flowed before) Trying to deal with that. Last time I went off and flew off the handle at work, a co-worker told me I needed some downers or something like that.  ok?  So glad to be feeling better tho, not sure how much longer I could hide those symptoms from everyone.  Don't really have the headache today...again...2 days in a row, how did I get so lucky?  Hope this trend continues.

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by Tramahell, Jan 07, 2011
Day 6. 132 hours out. Woke up feeling human again :)

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by muchforgiven, Jan 07, 2011
I Have been following everyone's posts but have been too ashamed to post. After 10 days off the tram, I fell hard on Dec. 21. I couldn't take feeling so bad right before Christmas when I had so much going on. Not an excuse, just a reason. Anyway, I've gotten over the feeling of failure because i know it happens often in this process, but I sure do wish I could have toughed it out. So I am back to 3 50mg. tabs. a day. I am beginning to feel stable again and am ready to start a taper. Just wanted to let everyone know, I was still fighting this war. So glad to see all the new people who have found this site. Keep on fighting.

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by whuami, Jan 07, 2011
hey muchforgiven....

dont be hard on yourself...just keep moving forward. I went CT right at Christmas...dumb idea, but i was DONE. I didnt trust myself on a taper, so just jumped off. I flushed 100++ trams!  It hasnt been easy. I hate...hate feeling anything but good. I hate having a cold...or even a small injury. I dont know why i am that way but i am. I finally feel pretty darn good. I am actually planning a little trip to go visit friends in oregon. Life is returning to normal. I still get tired easy, i can only walk about 10 minutes. It gets better every day....

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by Sweetstang, Jan 07, 2011
Day 5

Feeling  pretty good. Sleeping better. Headache mostly gone-thank goodness.  A little anxious and low energy, but I'm finding again this time, Music is insanely helpful. Just been downloading some new songs and jamming out. Keep busy too, read, watch a movie, talk to someone. Good luck everyone and have a good weekend.

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by StephC28, Jan 07, 2011
Hello all – I have had a one-way relationship with this site for 2 years now. As in, I have kept coming back to read the incredibly inspiring posts without posting myself.  I’m finally jumping in.  I’m hoping to help myself finally stay off these horrific pills and perhaps help others with my story.

This is day 6 of my 3rd (and final) CT end of tramadol. My first was a CT attempt 2 years ago. I told no one. No one had any idea I was even messing around with a drug. I had to stop because I ran out (at this point I had no idea of the online world of this drug). This clean period lasted 4 or 5 months and I was back to “playing around,” thinking I didn’t have a problem. Ha. Fast-forward a year and I finally am hooked again. And I decide I want my life back like so many of you. The drug has turned. I’m tired all the time. I don’t want to socialize or be active. I’m irritable and angry. But mostly I am so #$%^$%^& disappointed with myself for letting myself get to this point again. So I break down and tell my core group (you know…the family and friends who are family). I decide to taper. This is in March of 2010. I’m on about 8 50mg/day. But I didn’t do it. I think a lot of it was fear. Fear of the physical pain of WD. Fear of letting go of the safety of my little white pill. Fear of all of the changes my life was going through. Fear of the loss I had experienced. FEAR. And so I just kept taking them. And by this time I had found how to obtain them online, so my dosage increased, and I became a shell of my former self.  I kept making plans to stop. I wanted to. I just was taking so much (14-16 50mg/day) at this point I didn’t want to go through WD, and I didn’t want my BF to find out.

I planned to quit. Begin a taper. Something! Week one I cut to 8/day. And felt okay. Then everything crashed down. I couldn’t do it on my own. I told my BF everything. Oh did we fight!!! He was so upset at my betrayal. I had been lying to him for 8 months. He knew I had struggled with these pills in the past, but I had told him I was off them when I “tapered” in March. So I flushed the rest down the toilet six days ago. Best thing I’ve done. Called up the ones I love. Sobbing. Here we go again. But I’ll tell you what guys. This is it. I’ve tried CT on my own. I’ve tried tapering with people. Now I’m doing CT with people I love and who love me and I know I’m going to be successful. And I’m getting professional help. Not sure if it’s going to take the form of NA  (not a huge fan) or the local mental health professionals in my area (meetings are scheduled), but I’m getting my life back.

(Side note: my BF is still extremely hurt and angry (and you know, can I really blame him?? While he’s been working for us, I’ve been incredible selfish!) Have you guys had to struggle with this? I mean I know this site is mainly to get us all through this WD phase…but has anyone lost someone he/she loves because on tram? I know the important things is for me to get better right now. And I can and will fix the relationship when I’m healthy (and if it’s not meant to be it’s not meant to be blah blah blah…I’m just wondering if anyone has been through this. He has his good and bad days too. One day he’ll be so mad he won’t talk to me, the next he’ll say he’ll go to counseling with me. We’re only late 20s…not married.)

In terms of WD:  I am such a baby when it comes to physical pain! Oh man! I just can barely handle it! Tums and Imodium AD are so amazing. Melatonin and the Highlands RSL both allow me to sleep a little. I drink so much water with emergen-c in it. I take amino acids (MAP)– find them to be very useful. Started before I quit this time and am definitely feeling less awful than the last time. I also take Tyrosine every AM with Vitamin B 6 and 12 and I think it does give me energy.  

It is UP and DOWN. From moment to moment. BUT it gets better and better and better. I think some of these posts have been discouraging lately. In my experience, while certainly not linear, it is ALWAYS better the next day. Because you can say “I’m one more day away from Tramadol. I’m one day closer to a life worth living. A life I can be proud about. A life that doesn’t revolve around a tiny white pill.”

The last thought that’s really helped me: sometimes looking too far ahead is too much right now. Just stay in this moment. You can get through this moment. And you can get through the next one. If you told me on day one that I could be here on day 6 I would have started crying (I’m sure I did) and said I couldn’t do it. You can do it.

Finally. As I’ve read this site for hours and hours…Finally Fred was the most inspirational poster for me…he’s back in 2008…
Remember that we’re all different. Different ages, sexes, on different medications (I personally take nothing else), different stages in life, dealing with different pains, both physical and emotional. What will work for one of us will not work for another. But one thing that will help us all is support. I know I set aside time EVERY day to read this. EVERY day. And it is so so helpful.


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by 444lynn, Jan 07, 2011
Dropped to 1/2 50 every eight hours.  Same ol feeling I get each reduction but not as bad this time.  At least not today.  I'm thinking another week or 10 days to taper out entirely.  Very tired today.  Insanly wierd dreams last night and about three bouts with sleep paralisis.  Worse than not sleeping.  Then slept good for a few hours.  What will it be like to go to bed and wake up refreshed.  Hope to feel that again someday.  It's been a couple years.  My son went back to college and I miss him.  Daughter is Cheerleading and tring out for musical.  Older son works for my company.  I have great kids and love then to death.  You can be hooked on this stuff and nobody even knows....none of them did....they are all aware I am getting off the stuff.  
Hang in there everyone.

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by angelmoon, Jan 08, 2011
Hey everyone....just checking in.  I am a little overwhelmed really....so much on this post.  You are all brave, strong...true warriors...knowing somehow that even in the relapses, set backs or whatever you want to call it, you are on the right road.  Isn't it a wonderful blessing...no judgement, no perfect or right way...just the intention of the right path...the one with the light..it is a sure thing.

SheLiz. you are such an encouragement to all. Selflessly giving and counseling..even through your dark times. Your strength provides strength for others.

Sweetsang, you are enjoying beautiful music..one of the truly Holy things on this earth. It is a great thing to wake up from the tram  @#!*%  and be present with any kind of enjoyment of beauty. Stay strong.  It only gets better and brighter.

Whuami...you're right...it truly does get better everyday.  It's hard to convey that to those in the brutal stages...so glad you are knowing it gets better.  There truly is a stage where you don't know that, but by sheer hanging on you realize it in a moment it is worth it.

Tramahell....I remember waking up and feeling human again too.  What a wonderful feeling. Like being really thirsty and finally getting a drink. Good for you...keep going.

444lyn...my kids were my most active inspiration.  Had to keep taking care of them and watched their innocence and exuberance.  It was an IV for me in those worst days.  I also have had much less physical pain since getting off of this drug.  Advil is my friend.

Stephc28...SO GLAD you are here.  You are among friends.  I actually found sobbing to be quite helpful in the first month of withdrawals. (by myself I might add). . I wasn't brave enough to share my struggle. I'm not really a cry-er either...very therapeutic at the time.  Please know that we are here for you.  You can do it. The sun will come out.

Muchforgiven.....look at that word.  There is no shame, only love here. It's all about your intention. YOU are actually a huge encouragement for us all. Thank you for sharing....it is no small thing.  Wishing you peace and strength.

Much love, peace and prayers to everyone here. Angelmoon

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by 444lynn, Jan 08, 2011
That was fun...slept about two hours last night total.  Each step has its challenges.  I don't think I could CT this medication.  Hats off to those who can but I don't think I could without alot of time off and other drugs to help.  Don't want that.

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by Sweetstang, Jan 08, 2011
Day 6.

StephC-thanks for posting, I truley had tears in my eyes reading your post. Thanks for finally sharing!!

Feeling pretty good, just tired from work. It has been so busy so its  been a bit tough trying to keep up with drinking water, eating meals, and keeping my emotions in check..been hard with that. But have some days off next week so very much looking forward to that.

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by Sweetstang, Jan 08, 2011
I just have a question for anyone?

So I thought it was one of the WD symptoms, but now I am unsure since its almost been a week.  I am experiencing cold/sweats like a lot, much worse when I'm nervous or anxious, esp today at work, when I had high stress situations. Like today at work in the OR(so its already like 60deg.), I sweat thru 3 shirts and the Lead Apron I was wearing?! But its like my hands/feet will be ice cold, I'll be cold, but sweating at the same time. Now it is winter in WI here, but still. Beginning to think it might be more than a WD thing or maybe hormonal? Anyone have any ideas or thoughts on this?

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by SheLiz, Jan 08, 2011
Hi Everyone

                  Sweetstang - I mainly had night sweats where I'd wake up just dripping with sweat but not so much during the day but it is different for us all.  

Thanks angelmoon, nice to 'see' you.

I've just come home after trying out rowing for the first time in my life,  It was fun and I did quite well energy-wise.  I am having a well deserved rest now though.  I'm going to do a short training course next so i can join a regular group once a week.  I felt great to get out there and be part of the human race again.

I'm still sleeping well on 1/3 of a 25mg seroquel tab each night but I think I'm ready to try going down to 1/4 from tonight and see how the sleep goes.  That is still my main fear - insomnia.  Life is so much better with regular sleep but I would much rather get that sleep without chemical help.  The seroquel has been a great help during the wd process but its time to get rid of that as well.  I'm working on it :-)



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by ImDONENoMore, Jan 08, 2011
Hi Sheliz - 47 days WOW!  You sound so great.  It has been so inspiring to read your posts since the very beginning.  What a difference!  Rowing team - how cool is that?  Good for you!  I don't have any doubts about your eventual stopping of the seroquel.  You'll be able to do it that's for sure.

Sweetstang - yes, sweating!!  What an awful withdrawal symptom.  Mine started out in the first few weeks of being night sweats only.  Then it stopped.  Then at almost two months out I began having those sweats again - and not only at night, but during the day when I got anxious over something or even sometimes for no reason at all (I could just be sitting and it would start up).  I also thought it could be hormonal given my age, but it only lasted a few weeks and then stopped again so I hope it stays that way!  But definitely get yourself checked out if you think you should - no need to worry unnecessarily - just sharing my experience.

I do believe that all of the weird physical things that are happening with our bodies during withdrawal do eventually stop (or seem to with most of the people I've followed).  And I also had the strangest pains in my upper arms for weeks and I could not for the life of me figure out what was going on.  Then those stopped too.  So a lot of weird stuff would pop up, hang around for a while, then go away.  I think I'll just sum it up as my body ridding itself of the years of toxins I so recklessly put into it.  And I would keep telling myself that to keep from overthinking things.  But definitely if something doesn't let up, it should be checked out by a Dr.

Good luck to you - and to everyone here - hope you're all well!  :)

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by StephC28, Jan 08, 2011
Hi all - End of day 7! I almost can’t believe it.  I really didn’t think I could get here.  But here I am! Somewhat out of it still? Yes. Exhausted? Sure. Cold sweats? Sweetstang, I so totally relate. But I’m a full week away from that drug. And that’s something.

Anyone have suggestions for extremely sluggish brain functioning? (You know, besides time?? ;)

Hope everyone is having a good night, a good moment, or at least hanging in there.


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by ImDONENoMore, Jan 08, 2011
Hi StephC28,

The vitamins and supplements helped me with anxiety and the brain fog caused by the tramadol.  I found the b vitamins, especially b12, to be very helpful.  Check out the thomas recipe if you haven't yet - some great ideas in there.  The only things I couldn't tolerate were the 5htp and the l-tyrosine - both made me very jittery and nervous.  And I'm still doing the vitamin therapy to this day and plan to continue this regimen.

I also found after about a week that taking an excedrin in the morning (morning only) would help with that sluggish feeling along with providing some pain relief.  I believe it's the caffeine in the excedrin that helped me get going so I only took it in the morning so it wouldn't interrupt my attempts at sleep.

And finally and most importantly - congrats on the 7 days!!!  Yes, you are here.  And it will just get better with time so I'm excited for you!  Stay strong - and stay positive.  You are on your way!!!!

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by rt35630, Jan 09, 2011
Hey all...I am back after completing my move to a new house and getting back online. The time away from y'all due to being offline and dealing with a busy work week full of Bishops and other VIP's during a period that should be rather relaxed has made me feel like "why don't I just stay on this drug and not worry about tapering more?" I haven't gone to many N/A meetings either. I think both are important to keep up my motivation.

I guess what I am feeling is normal to some extent. Everything about this drug and the process of either maintaining or continuing the taper is a pain at this point! I am tired of worrying about it! I have had internet access at home for a couple of days and knew I needed to read the posts here again. New faces and new stories. I am grateful that I still laugh, cry, and have normal emotions. Bottom line is I want to be free of worrying. I've set myself the goal of quitting by the end of the month. Still on 9-10 pills a day, but at least that is better than 15-20!

See y'all again later. We are supposed to get a heavy snow here later today and tomorrow so I should have time to read/post. Thank you to everyone on here. Your stories and support really do help in so many ways! --Randy

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by StephC28, Jan 09, 2011
Thanks ImDone. So basically you’re telling me there isn’t a magic way? :)I guess that would be too easy.  Not to get all new age-y on you (if you knew me you’d laugh), but there is some peace in accepting that I’m just going to have to stick this one out.

You’re right; the vitamins do help a little. The B-12 sublingual tabs and the whole host of amino acids seem to work best for me. If you believe they will help…never underestimate the power of positive thinking. I’ve found that believing I’m getting better is half the battle…(where is this stuff coming from???? ;). But in all seriousness, I think it’s because I really want this. I want to be healthy.

Not that I haven’t had moments. But I think about a couple things. One: Unlike many of you I did not come by this drug in a legitimate way, (yet I also have never touched a needle, have a master’s degree, a great job, and great family and friends. I recognize these are all societal “checkmarks” but I’m just trying to say I’m not a stereotype) and I have lost a lot to this drug already. Aside from my own feelings of shame and judgment, I have affected my family and friends. Most notably, for the moment, my BF (with whom I live). He cares most about the lying, not so much the drug, which I totally understand. Who lies to someone for 8 months? (Clearly someone who take 14-16 trams /day…) Anyway, you all know this already, so this is only to say…if I want to take something…just to feel physically better for a minute…I think: well, I might feel better but I’ll still have all this emotional wreckage to suffer through…and the only way I’ll be able to get a handle all that is if I can look into my BF eyes and tell him honestly that I am one more day off this drug. Did any of this make sense?

Another thing to think about: Tramadol is a big fat lying drug. Perhaps it once gave me energy (??) and made me feel talkative and pain-free (I justified my use from a knee-issue). But at the end that was no longer true. No, in my foggy, fragmented state I am somehow more alive then I’ve been in so long. And I know it sounds crazy because I do sort of feel like $#^%#$. But when I look in the mirror my eyes are brighter than I’ve seen them in such a long long time. If you can just hang on…the first few days pass. They do. That’s the one certainty we all can rely on. Time WILL pass. I know it doesn’t seem like it will, but it does. And every day after is better.

I’m struggling now with wanting everything (physically) to be 100% better immediately. I have to go back to work tomorrow after a week off.

For those who continue to come back to this forum and post…thank you so much. It’s so helpful I can’t begin to express it…remember…I’m sure there are people out there who were like me - who are reading, who don’t post, but are drawing strength from your words. And, like me, when they are ready, perhaps they too will share.

Be well all


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by Sweetstang, Jan 09, 2011
Day 7...

I made it a week, and weekend of hell at work, and without Trams!! Holy moly, didn't think I could do it.  Just sitting at home relaxing with my dog (Buddy the Beagle in the pic) and watching the Packers kicking some Booty! Sorry Philly fans. Packers got this..just sayin. Then its off to finishing New Moon..I know I didn't think I would like the whole vampire story, but really am loving it and it gives me something to look forward to instead of my little while tablets.

Thanks for the advice or ideas about the cold sweats, weren't as bad today, but I still plan on asking my MD soon.

So anyway, best wishes to everyone tonight, and StephC...I am so sorry about your BF troubles, I can't say much good, cause I myself have lied to those that are closest to me, accept for my Mom and a close friend at work, hubby doesn't know about my recent relaspe. Going to see my therapist/pyschologist MD next week and plan to talk to her about this. Not looking forward to that conversation. My friend at work who is a recovering drug/alcohol addict talked me into going back to seeing her again. So we'll see.  

Have a great night everyone...stay strong!

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by ImDONENoMore, Jan 09, 2011
Hi Sweetstang - just wanted to say I LOVE the picture of Buddy.  I have a little one too and she is the LOVE of my life (well, oops, my husband would be the LOVE of my life, right? lol - dog lovers will understand this I'm sure).  But I can tell you in some of my worst moments, she was right there with me with her big brown eyes.  My absolute sweetheart.

And I'm so glad to hear you're hanging in there - it will keep getting better.  Congrats on the one week!  Nice job!  :)

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by SheLiz, Jan 10, 2011
Hi All

        Just dropping in to let you know I've just hit the 49 Day mark.  That's 7 whole weeks!!!!!!  Yay!!!!

        So, I'm feeling pretty happy with things.  It really is worth going through the horrors to come out the other end feeling human again.  I am still not 100% yet but I'd say I was a good, solid 80%.  

      GO StephC and Sweetstang!!!!!! Get that first week out of the way.

Happy New Year Randy great to see you've cut down so much, the less of that poison in your body and mind the better.

Night everyone - Gotta go and do my physio exercises before bed.  I'm doing them morning and night without fail so that I can keep on top of my aches and pains without having to resort to medication.

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by muchforgiven, Jan 10, 2011
Congrats, SheLiz,
You are truly amazing the way you set your will to get off these awful pills. I feel like I have no willpower since I relapsed.
Please keep on posting, I need your strength and support. Thanks to all who  are  posting recent;y, I know I will get back to the starting point soon.

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by wewar, Jan 10, 2011
I am on a taper again after a relapse a few months ago. I thought i had it under control but really had me by the throat this time. I am now 80% sure I cant afford to mess about thinking I am in charge of it. Currently on 25mg from 200mg. Never had too much trouble coping during the day but nights and that horrible agiated feeling a major problem. last night tried the travel sickness drug cinnarazine on a hunch. It worked very well so am trying it again tonight.
Usual  WD I am having, suicide ideation, weird and disturbing dreams, labile emotions etc etc... There is so much anecdotal evidence regarding peoples shared experience with this medication. Enough to publish as a study even ?

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by Sweetstang, Jan 10, 2011
Congrats SheLiz...yay!!!

ImDoneNoMore-Thanks, ya I can totally relate, I love my dog(well and my 2 cats of course and hubby) Didn't mean to put him last but ya, Buddy is always there for me wagging his tail so happy to see me, I can always count on him! Feel as tho I have even let the dog down when not feeling well by not giving him as much attention, much less those people around me that mean so much to me!

Day 8..doing good so far....just one day at a time. Finally got just about all the Christmas stuff down and put away, finally, its been a long process, but I just kept at it and now its done. Thank-goodness. Now on to some much put off projects hopefully!

wewar-very interesting, I really think they need to publish some kind of study..I mean this is Part 40, and there are how many comments on each page!! 261 on this part alone!!

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by ImDONENoMore, Jan 10, 2011
Hi Sweetstang,

You made me smile (thank you).  So glad to hear you're having a good day.  Day 8!!  And you were able to start/finish some projects so good for you!  Our xmas tree is still up - yup that's right!  But in my defense, we had a holiday party here so we kept it up for that (sounds good right? lol, but it's true!).  But anyway - you've now motivated me to get going on the holiday stuff so that's what I'll be doing tomorrow!!

And also good point - this IS part 40 - OMG!!  Where are all the studies on this drug?  I guess none of us will be surprised when we do finally see one though right?  Well, hopefully that happens soon and it can save a lot of people from the horrible experiences we've all had.  At least something good could come out of this nightmare.

Anyway - just wanted to say hi and glad you're doing well.  And Hi to everyone else - hope you're all feeling better.  Stay strong!  :)

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by Sweetstang, Jan 11, 2011
Day 9.

Forgot yesterday...Packers WON Sunday..so that was a good end to the weekend for me and the rest of the state here!

Going good, went to bed with a bad headache(had to finish my book-New Moon), woke up with the same headache, took some Execedrine, better now. Snowing here today and I'm off, got my chores done yesterday, just hoping to chillax a bit today and give Buddy a bath.  So hoping my husband remembers to pick up New Moon the movie tonight from his sister so I have that to look forward to tonight, well and Biggest Loser!

Just anxious, seem to get little anxious spats with some GI discomfort, the cold sweats seem to be getting better. But better than expected. More motivated everyday.

ImDONENoMore-ok, I shoulda clarified, all the decorations are down and put away accept the tree. I undecorated it, just the lights are on the thing, but we cut it down this year and the thing is still sucking water and not too many needles are down so we've just left it up. I know. It will come down soon, but just enjoying it while I can! LOL

Have a good one everyone!



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by 444lynn, Jan 11, 2011
Stable at 1.5 per day 1/2 every eight hours.  That took four days to feel good physically.  Still up and down mentally.  Drop to 1 per day tomarrow...1/4 every six hours.  Then I'm going to widen the gaps to 8 hours, 10 hours, 12 hours and try to stop.  I'm hoping for 10 days to the end.  

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by StephC28, Jan 12, 2011
Just a quick note to say hi to everyone. Day 11!!! Definitely feeling better, though sleeping is still somewhat difficult at times. Also, of course, the lovely GI problems. BUT other than that, really getting back on my feet. Which is good...because I'll tell you, the world didn't stop while I did these past 11 days....and I have a lot of work to catch up on and just things to do! And I find myself excited for the first time in a long time. That's a great feeling...:)

444lynn, be good to yourself and take it slowly. Tapering "should" be in place of WD pain. Back earlier in this journal a couple people talk about doing really successful, slow, committed, basically pain-free tapers. Perhaps their tapering schedule/advice would help you?

Muchforgiven, I know where you are. Really, I do. Keep breathing. Keep coming back here. Keep remembering all the energy you used to have and all the things you stopped doing because of Tram. You’ll know what you need to do and when you need to do it. And we’ll all be here! Be good to yourself. One last thing: I started taking vitamins and eating better and all that stuff for a couple weeks before I began to “taper” (14-16/day to 8/day for a week and then CT…not much of a taper) and as I’ve done this 2x I can say I do feel better this time. Perhaps that would help you too?  Also, don’t underestimate the mind’s role in all this. YOU have to really want it. You’ll get there.

Stweetstang, I think we’re on just about the same timeline…sounds like you’re doing well. Hope you have a wonderful day!

Be well all


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by Sweetstang, Jan 12, 2011
Day 10

Doing pretty good, really need to start eating better, and to start working out again, I think it will be slow going, but hope to add a little bit more effort into each day, so we'll see. Had a lot of GI issues yesterday for whatever reason, I think its the anxiousness.

Have a good day!

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by rainallday, Jan 12, 2011
Hello all, Thanks to everyone here for being here and posting experience..It has helped me immensly during my long sleepless nights while quitting...
  I am at day 10 cold turkey. I has been nothing less than brutal..Nighttime has been the worst with despair, anxiety, panic fear and depression...I cried way more than I thought possible..However I did not give up...
  I would like to suggest people suffering the terrible insomnia like me to please google 'melatonin'...I found it while googling and realized I had some in a cabinet from a couple years back...I took it on day 9 and slept 5 hours which was a huge improvement as I hadnt slept more than 2 hours till then.I followed a recovered addicts advice of taking 1 3mg pill and then 1 more each half hour until falling asleep..It took 2 hours and 4 pills for me...So 12 mg total worked for me...Last night I only took 1 since today is a short work day and it didnt work as well, but I did eventually sleep 4 hours.which is still great compared to the insanity insomnia was causing me..
  So in summary thanks again everyone here for keeping me sane during the 1st 8 days, and please, people who are quitting make it a goal to find for yourself natural ways of feeling better especially at night, like taking a hot bath etc..and check out melatonin, its natural (and sold at walmart), and it helped me with night fear of never sleeping again.
  Stay strong and never give in to this evil evil drug called tramadol!!!

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by SheLiz, Jan 12, 2011
Hi everyone

                 I've noticed over the last couple of weeks that my finger nails have been growing really quicky and strong.  They always were strong but they must've stopped growing with the tramadol coz I'm really noticing them again now.  Has anyone else noticed anything like that?  Maybe trams take away our calcium as well as everything else they suck from us.

                Anyway, it's now day 51 1/2 (still counting in 1/2s :-).  The main WDS I seem to be left with is that constant strange little headache (like extremely mild zaps).  It's definitely still tram related as no other headaches in the past have ever felt like this one.  It's not annoying, it's just there.  It kinda feels like my brain is a bit loose and rattling around in my head.  My energy is pretty good but I need to rest on and off during the day.  

               StephC, Sweetstang, Wewar, MuchForgiven, 444Lynn & Rainallday (sound like Aour Aussie weather at the moment) I've been checking your posts every day and thinking about you all.

                I'm off to see my psych today to talk about going off the seroquel (which I've got down to next to nothing already - 7-8mg @night) and the fluvoxamine 100mg @night.  I wanted to hang on to both of them during the worst of the Tram WD but feel OK enough now to work on getting rid of those now.  Yay!!!!  I am so looking forward to being on NOTHING!!!!



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by fightorfight, Jan 13, 2011
Hey StephC,  I know its been a few days, but I wanted to address the question (maybe not so much a question, but..) how the stereotype of drug abuse may not exactly fit the profile of the average Tram user.   I'm of similar background: where I was never legitimately prescribed the pills.   My mom (Yup... I'm serious) gave them to me every so often whenever I'd come home from work all stoved up.  I was fortunate to get an education, be in moderately good health... but out of school-- there were just no jobs.   So I settled for something to pay the bills now... The work does, and did take a toll on my body, but such is life.

Anyhow, to the original point of my reply, and your portion of Jan 9th post:  Does Tram make you do things you otherwise wouldn't do to the people you love?  I winded up buying the pills online so I wouldn't have to dip into my Mom's prescription to stay functional.    It didn't take long of her giving me them 4 days out of a week after a month for me to develop a dependency to them.  So I resorted to buying them online to stay functional to the family and to my work... all the while putting little chunks of my hard earned money down the drain.  That first online buy... I was so very upset with things:  All of a sudden a younger, well enough to do guy like myself got trapped by something that was intended to help me.   But I did it, because I thought I had no other choice.

The sad thing is that now my Mom has a Tram dependency that would rival some of the higher numbers I've seen on this forum.   To the point where she can't get out of bed in the morning unless I bring her two with a cup of coffee.   Its straining our family (Just her, myself, and my sister remain.. everyone else died recently).   I spend months getting off the stuff only to have it hurting someone I love.. and me its smiling faced delivery boy each morning before I go to work.  Every time I try to relate to her how to stop, and how I can help her stop, she just gets angry and depressed...   So yeah.    Tram will do that.



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by rt35630, Jan 13, 2011
fightorfight...this addiction is now causing some tension between my partner and I. I'm very glad I came clean with him, because like most of us, the pills do not make me high - nobody would have known about my problems if I did not tell them.

Joe has addiction issues. He was on pot for several years and cigarettes. He recently quit both, and I am very proud of him. It is saving us $400 a month! Of course, quitting pot did not mean physical w/d, but he used the patch to quit cigs and it moderated the w/d there a lot.

I've cut my pill intake by about half, and I promised myself after Christmas I'd get serious again about my taper, using techniques I have learned from the people here. Joe asked me how it was going the other day and when I said 8-10 pills a day (down from 15-20 max) he said "I thought you would be at like 5 by now," and an arguement insued. My income is 3/4 greater than his. I bought him a car recently, and the only thing I buy for myself is these f****** pills. On the other hand, he does our budget and has been very helpful there, and I realize that after giving up his habits that some tension about me spending money on mine is bound to exist.

I told him he had NO idea what I was facing by quitting further and he said that was bull because he quit cigarettes, the most addictive thing in the world....Anyway the whole incident lasted less than 5 minutes and we were fine.

But I'd better get my *** in gear and move forward rather than stagnating like I am. Pray for me!

Randy                            

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by StephC28, Jan 13, 2011
Hi everyone. Hope everyone is hanging in there today.

rt35630 – I really feel for your situation. This is a hard position to be in with a partner. Have you thought of making (literally writing out…not in your head) a taper schedule? That might help both of you to be on the same page. I totally understand “putting off” tapering down. I tried to taper back in March, but ended up being unsuccessful. It began to make me feel worse and worse about myself – why couldn’t I just do it??? I wasn’t having physical pain…I think a lot of it was my mind: what if you need it when you go here? (better take extra), or I just need my life to be less busy and then I can really taper (as you know…it never is…). All this said: BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. You’re ready when you’re ready. Once you get that this drug harms you more than it helps you, you find strength to fight it. And really only then (at least that’s my experience). By the time I told everyone and threw away all the pills part of me (the part that wasn’t crying in fear of WD) was SO relieved I was finally going to be free of them.  (I remember talking to my mom on the phone that first day. She asked me how long the acute WD would be. I said about a week. “Oh, just a week Honey! That’s so doable.” I remember wanting to yell at her: you don’t get it!!!! It’s not just a week! It’s a nightmare! It *****. It’s painful and, and, and…but in some ways she is right. It’s just a week. A long one. But there’s a really bright light at the end of it. You can definitely make it there.)

A thought on guilt: it’s an emotion that has done nothing productive for anyone. What good is it to feel guilty? I’m not sure it allows any forward movement, which is one thing that will get us all through this. Thoughts?

Fightorfight – thanks for writing that. You know, I know, everyone here knows…you won’t stop until you want to stop. I’m sorry things sound so difficult with your mom right now. Compassion, my friend.

Experiencing a WD symptom I’ve never had before (but after a google search it seems T related): shortness of breath. Really…like trying to take a deep break takes energy. Anyone else? Is there any part of the body this drug doesn’t affect?

Be well all


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by wewar, Jan 13, 2011
I am going to start to miss a dose so will be taking 25mg every 48hrs. 25 seems a piddling amount I know. Why not just stop now.  The answer is probably I dont want to let go of it and am still trying to control it. Tramadol has been so nice to me at times. This is the drug at its most powerfull. Cherishing and maniplative like an evil and decietful friend. I am meditating to try and be still the egotistical me which is in cahoots with it. Does this make sense ? I ahve a way to go but am concentrating on unlocking the knowing that I am an addict and cannot take this drug ever ever again

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by kaz47, Jan 13, 2011
Hello - have been reading the posts on this forum all afternoon. My husband was prescribed tramadol by our GP following back surgery 3 years ago. He had no previous history of 'addiction' and has always led a healthy life style - moderate drinking, doesn't smoke, exercises daily and didn't even take an aspirin before his op. To start with he was taking 4/6 50mg tabs a day but as his back situation improved rapidly reduced this to 1 - 2 a day which he continued to take until 3 days ago when he decided that this long on medication was long enough and stopped completely. We are now nearly at the end of day 3 - yesterday he was very emotional - crying a lot of the time. Last night he didn't sleep at all - literally climbing the walls with itchy feet and hands. He has developed cold symptoms - sore throat, runny nose and has a couple of mouth ulcers. Until yesterday we had no idea that tramadol was so addictive and could leave you with such awful withdrawal symptoms - it was only because I started investigating the web and stumbled across this and other forums that we have found that such withdraw symptoms are 'normal' for want of a better term. I am being as supportive as I can but we are currently living abroad away from family and friends and having to deal with a foreign language etc so this is making us feel a little isolated.

My husband is adament he will never take another tramadol again and I agree with him. He is finding taking hot baths every few hours is helping with the itching feet and hands - he is taking a multi vitamin supplement and is drinking plenty of weak tea and eating little but often. We are going out for walks so that he can get exercise and fresh air but today he lacks any energy. I hate to see him like this and am furious that our doctor prescribed this medication (and kept doing so) without giving any indication that the tablets could result in such awful w/d symptoms. It only took me a few minutes to google 'tramadol addiction/withdraw' and come up with a whole list of websites and forums detailing how this drug, whilst seemingly being an effective pain killer, has ruined thousands of peoples lives so I don't see why the doctor couldn't have done this either. since this has happened my husband is querying whether the muscle spasms he has suffered from for so long were actually a result of taking tramadol  as opposed to a leftover symptom from his back operation.

I would like to ask whether other posters have any advice they can give me of how to further support my husband during the next few days, which according to this forum seem to be the worst for many people - are we doing the right things so far? Is there anything else we should be doing? Some of the medication that other posters suggest to eliviate symptoms are not available here - have brought some Nytol with me from the UK (fairly harmless sleep aid) and he is going to take a couple of these tonight to see if they help him get some sleep. He is findiing the sleep deprivation and the constant fidgeting the worst so far - are things likely to get worse before they get better? I am hoping that because he was on such a relatively low dose the w/d wont be too bad. Any help or suggestions will be gratefully appreciated. Thankyou and good luck to all of you and your families.

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by wewar, Jan 13, 2011
kaz47

Your husband has a three year history of use. One a day is enough. He should recover quite quickly but be prepared for some latent psychological  effects even months down the line. I think Tramadol is not unlike Seroxat  in the way that its effects on people taking it long term have not been looked into more thoroughly.The warnings are not clear enough and GP advise can be  poor. . Your experience is classic. Surgery on back or suchlike then refilled script with no review. Its a bit much and the girl behind the counter at Boots will give more advice on not to take codeine and paracetamol for more than a few days. Tramadol misuse is a hidden epidemic.
What you are doing is fine I think. I found some herbal teas can help eg camomile. Its a shock isnt it how it grabs you

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by MyFreedom, Jan 13, 2011
kaz ~

As you may have already discovered, he's gonna be uncomfortable for a little while longer. From my own experience, I can suggest having him eat more foods with potassium (bananas, almonds, etc)...particularly before bedtime. Potassium can help with relaxing his muscles. Also, maybe some mild stretching before bed. During my restless muscle times, I would take a few minutes before bed each nite and just sit on the floor in front of the TV and stretch out my back and legs. I really felt like it helped me get at least *some* non-fidgety rest.

As for the lack of energy...sigh....that's probably gonna be one of the biggest battles. Pick up some vitamin B12 for him. That seems to help most of us. It works best for me if I take it every single day. Even though I am 290+ days tram-free, I really notice the difference in energy when I forget to take it.

You are on the right road. Just continue to encourage him and support him. Tramadol is nasty stuff. Those of us who have been there (and are still there) know this all too well. Your husband is lucky that he has you by his side supporting him through this. Please let him know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that it WILL get better.

Keep us updated!
:)

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by kaz47, Jan 14, 2011
Hi - thank you for your postings - Myfreedom how right you were when you said 'he is going to be uncomfortable a little while longer'. Last night was horrendous - he spent most of the night prowling around the house alternating between raging about the situation and then getting emotional and upset. Every time he tried to sit or lie down and rest his feet and hands became unbearably itchy and twitchy and all he could do was basically keep moving, to the point where he was nearly asleep on his feet. In the early hours of the morning the feet and hand itching subsided enough for him to grab a couple of hours sleep which was a real godsend for both of us. Today is so far much better - he still has the 'twitchy' feet but is able to be still for more than a couple of minutes at a time. We have managed a walk with our dog and he is feeling less 'desperate' and more human - the feet twitching is the worst as everytime he thinks he could nod off to sleep it keeps him awake. Someone said that bananas are good so he is eating these and is keeping up with the multi vits including B12 and drinking plenty of fluids. As he managed to get a couple of hours sleep last after none the night before he has decided against getting any sleep aids from the chemist  - we are therefore going to see how we get on over the weekend - if the sleep situation has not improved by Monday we will make an appointment with our French doctor and ask him for support - however as it stands at the moment my husband feels he can do this - he certainly has no desire to ever take a tramadol again and would rather put up with these horrible withdrawal symptoms  than ever go back on that medication - as far as I am concerned the stuff is poison - I was shocked to discver yesterday from a friend that she had been given a box of the things to take home from hospital following a recent operation - no mention of possible side effects or danger of them being habit forming - after telling her what my husband has been going through she flushed them down the toilet. I hope that things will continue to improve but appreciatre this is not likely to be easy, particularly the nights. Will keep posting in the hope that this will help others and hopefully ensure that as few people as possible have to go through this. Good luck everyone. stay strong - you can do this!!!!

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by SheLiz, Jan 14, 2011
Hi Everyone

              Kaz - I was very pleased to read that you were able to save your friend from getting sucked into the horrors of tramadol, well done.  You and your husband both have the right attitude to get through this - understanding and believing that tramadol is an evil, poisonous drug has helped me to get as far away from it as possible and never even contemplate it again.  

             I had several weeks of no sleep (None at all for a couple of nights no matter what I tried then after a week or so 2-3 hrs a night). I have been sleeping much better for the last 3 weeks (I'm at Day 54 now).  I have been taking Seroquel for sleep but am down to cutting a 25mg tab into 1/4s so I'm taking the bare minimum and have been getting 9-10hrs a night and could probably go longer except that I force myself to get up.  So, sleep does come back - I feel like I'm doing a lot of catching up as well.

            I'd better go and get some work done :-)
  

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by Sweetstang, Jan 14, 2011
14 days.....2 weeks.....350 hours.....



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by SheLiz, Jan 14, 2011
Yay Sweetstang - you should be over the worst of it by now.  Another one of us manages to escape :-)

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by rainallday, Jan 15, 2011
Congrats Sweetstang on 2 weeks and kaz47 for being so tough, I am at day 13 and improving....
        Good luck to everyone, keep it going, no giving up, .....

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by StephC28, Jan 15, 2011
Hi all.  Day 14!

Don’t know why (or perhaps I do…this drug is relentless) but I returned to the worst of the WD last night/this morning. Couldn’t sleep, GI problems, hot and cold, “out of it,” and just angry. Really angry – which isn’t like me, so I’m assuming I need to take a deep breath and realize I’m not quite out of the woods. For those of you in days 2-5 – don’t worry; this is NOTHING like those horrendous days. But it’s a long battle.

I’m struggling to decide whether I should move out. My closest friends and family do not live nearby, so it would be a lonely move. I just don’t know if I can balance all of the emotional turmoil of leaving my bf and living alone with also trying to remain T-free (last night I thought: I just need relief from this physical pain and to sleep – maybe I could take one…that scared me into reading this forum for hours last night (some of the early stuff is so moving and inspiring and knowledgeable). Thankfully it strengthened my resolve, and I’m still on the path. But he’s not being supportive, he’s incredibly angry, and it’s so hard to hear at this vulnerable stage that he only loves “part of me” and has no tolerance for my “weakness.” He has some addiction pain in his life – as in his father was an abusive alcoholic – so I know it’s not only about me. But I basically chose his most painful wound and rubbed salt in it. And I don’t’ know if he will forgive me for it. I want to move forward with him…but I’m struggling with how to balance his needs/wants/pain with my own. And as we all know…being good to yourself and gentle and supportive is what gets you to stay away from Tramadol.

Also, I don’t trust myself to make huge life decisions right now…moving out would be just that. Maybe I should look for a place to stay for a couple weeks to give us space? I only recently moved to this state, so I don’t know many people besides him and his friends.

At least it’s the weekend. I need a chance to catch up on things I’ve let slide in the last 2 weeks!

One day at a time…

stweetstang and rainallday: congrats on two weeks! :)

Kaz, sounds like you and your hubby are doing everything just right. You’re probably through the worst by now. When I didn’t believe I could get up the energy to leave the house that first week I ate a spoonful of honey and a B-12 sublingual tab. And I made it.

Be well

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by kaz47, Jan 15, 2011
Hi - thank you all for your comments and advice. Last night started off with the now usual inability to sit still or rest and the continual prowling around the house - however, he managed to drop off to sleep at about 4am and then slept until 9am - nothing short of miraculous. I was holding him while he was asleep as this seemed to help - I noticed he was sweating buckets- unusual as he does not usually perspire much at all. This passed fairly quickly so I assume it is just another one of the withdrawal symptoms. Today has been much better - the cold symptoms have subsided a little and whilst the restless feet are still a problem his hands are a lot better. I am hoping tonight that the progress continues, although reading other postings I appreciate we may have a long way to go.

To Steph - I think you are right that now may not be a good time for you to make major decisions - I am sorry you are not receiving more support from your partner - He may be cross with you but he may also be scared - watching those we care about suffer is never easy and anger is sometimes an easier emotion to deal with! For my part watching my husband who I love so much go through this horrendous withdrawal has been so very difficult and very scarey - I have prayed nightly that I could take his pain away - but that is beyond any of our control. So - I make endless cups of tea, rub his feet to stop the itching and keep vigil with him through the night. I will never again take for granted the joy of hearing him sleeping peacefully by my side!

To all of you coping with withdrawal, particularly those who find themselves alone and far from family and friends, hang on in there - you are brave people who DESERVE a healthy and happy life - NO-ONE, irrespective of how they became dependant on this drug, deserves the misery that it carries with it. Don't let it beat you - you are stronger than you know. Those of you fortunate enough to have people who care around, let those people who love you help you in any small way they can - one day you will be in a better place where you will be able to help them when they need you.   Stay strong and sleep peacefully.

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by rainallday, Jan 15, 2011
StephC28, stay strong on the quitting part, I (my opinion) don't think you should worry about big decisions until you
feel totally confident you won't 'relapse'.......Another week or 2 maybe to keep planning in your mind, and things will eventually fall into place....Don't overstress yourself....Instead go for a walk! Take a hot bath, etc....relax...Things will work out....Rome wasnt built in a day!
  Stay strong...
Continued good luck everyone, I'm off to work delivering papa johns pizzas until 1am here....my job, pizza delivery has been a good stay busy and active way of helping the wd's.....

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by remarkablylucid, Jan 15, 2011
I am so glad I found this site!  I'm currently on Day 3 of quitting this horrible drug cold turkey and today was alot worse than yesterday.  This isn't the first time I've had to detox from it so I knew what I was getting into, but this time I'm not just waiting for Refill Day, I'm done.  I've been rereading this journal whenever I have a craving or pessimistic about whether I am strong enough to get off it for good and it's been incredibly helpful.

I have experience getting off high doses of morphine, percocet, hydrocodone, vicodin, lyrica, pretty much every opiate on the market and tramadol has been the absolute worst withdrawal by far.  I was given pain killers since a wee child for chronic headaches (which no one has been able to give a name to), low back pain and sciatica.  I was given tramadol (ultracet) as a way to get off the "hard stuff".  I quickly realized that 4-5 at a time gave me a nice warm feeling and that was it.  The doctors were happy it helped my pain and were falling over themselves to give me more.  I started off at 120 a month and quickly moved up to 240.  In the past year 240 barely lasted a full week, so I started taking 300mg XR ultram in between ultracet refills.  I'd take 2 or 3 of the 300xr at a time and not sleep for days.  I knew it wasn't healthy to stay on these, but like many of the posts on here I was absolutely terrified of going through withdrawal.  Finally last week my doctor said no more and released me as a patient which sent me into a vicious panic attack from even thinking about a moment without those pills.  I went to a new doctor who gave me 40 pills to last a month but I can't get those filled until this monday the 17th.  After driving around and getting one No after another I realized what I had to do.  Once I stopped the panic attack and sobbing on my bf's shoulder in the middle of Walmart I stocked up.  5-htp, Kava Kava for the anxiety; Valarian and generic unisom to try and sleep at least a few hours; Ibuprofen and Immodium for the aches and Benadryl for the nonstop itching like worms are all over me.  

Day 1 felt like **** but optimistic and positive; cleaned the apt to distract myself.  No pain other than a headache and a bit of ache in the legs.  Main annoying thing is this gnawing hunger pain in the pit of my stomach with the inability to keep anything down except graham crackers and cheerios.  4 hrs of sleep and woke up happy and ready for a good day.

Day 2 fantastic.  lowered my 5htp dose to one three times a day.  Should've mentioned I am on Lexapro and adderall.  I only take half an adderall in the morning and im able to concentrate better than i expected.  Yesterday went to my friend's house for the first time in 9 months (went on a tramadol fueled hiatis for almost a year) and it felt so good to be around people and feel happy.  

Day 3 paying for yesterday i think.  Tired sluggish headaches and just blah.  One bad craving which I stopped by a long hot bath.  today's not as bad as day 1 but not fun either, hope tomorrow's better.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just relieved and less pessimisitc now that I've found others who have gone through absolute hell.  I'm determined to let monday go by without being at the pharmacy at the crack of dawn.  Right now I just tell myself I have no choice going back to the numb fogged life is not an option I need to feel something again other than panic worrying where and when ill get my next refill.  

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by kaz47, Jan 16, 2011
Hello everyone - having had 5 hours sleep the night before last my husband was unable to settle at all last night - he felt wide awake and was still suffering from restless legs which meant that again he was subjected to a night of prowing around the house - the worst of this passed in the early hours and he was finally able to go to sleep at about 6.30am! It is 10.30am here and he is still asleep so I am leaving him to it. He is taking a lot of comfort from the fact that others are going through similar and that these withdrawal symptoms, whilst horrendous, are to be expected and will gradually subside. So.... we are now on day 6 - like most posters day time is not too bad but he (and I) dread the nights. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. He has been eating bananas throughout the day but tomorrow I am going to the chemists to get a big bottle of potassium tablets - there is only a certain amount of bananas a body can take! He has been very reluctant to take any form of sleep aid but understands that this sleep problem may well take some time to resolve so is considering getting something from the chemist to take for a short period, not exceeding 3 nights, in the hope that this will break the pattern and see him through the worst of the withdrawal symptoms. Saying that, afte a few hours sleep he may resolve not to and keep battling without them.

To remarkablylucid - you sound likea brave girl who knows what you have to do - don't let this horrendous medication ruin your life - it will be tough, but a s I have said before everyone here is stronger than they think. Will be thinking of you and willing you on. Good luck to everyone today - remember you all deserve to be free of tramadol.





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by StephC28, Jan 16, 2011
After a tough day yesterday things seems to be better this morning. Actually slept for a while last night, albeit broken sleep.

Thanks for your words of encouragement Kaz and rainsallday. Really appreciate it. My bf got sick with the flu/cold, so I took care of him all day yesterday. That seemed to help him realize how important it is to support one another. We’ll see how it progresses. I think you’re absolutely right on not making any big decisions right now.

Kaz: have you thought of melatonin for sleep? Natural and easier on the body than some of the other sleep aids. You can find it in any health food store or in some pharmacies. I also think something like an OTC Tylenol PM is safe/useful at this stage. I personally don’t believe taking a stronger sleep aid (ie a prescribed one) is a bad idea for a few days either (esp if the melatonin and OCT sleep aids don’t work). Sleep is so important to the body’s recovery. Also, Hyland’s Restful Legs and Hyland’s Leg Cramps w/ quinine (the PM one) are AMAZING for RLS. Potassium is great and all, and definitely take it, but these things are really little miracles. I was skeptical at first because they are homeopathic, but they really work (and I’m not the only one who thinks so – lots of others on here say they were invaluable during WD). Hopefully you can find them or something similar wherever you are (?).

Remarkablylucid – you’re definitely in the right place. Keep reading (and go back and read the early stuff too). When I was in the first week of WD I just read this for hours and it really helped.  The worst will be over for you soon. Ask yourself, do you have it in your to withdrawal again? If you’re not 100% steeled against refilling, the pain is sometimes too much. Remember, it passes. You won’t ever have to do this again. Stay strong!

Be well all



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by rainallday, Jan 16, 2011
Day 14
Thanks for kind words StephC28, and it sounds like you are very smart in regards to finding relief aids....The melatonin seemed like a miracle ...I only tried regular and 1/2 dose the 2nd and 3rd times and it didnt work, but thats ok I had to find what least amount would work..Its nice knowing I have it sitting there for a really bad night if needed!
    Today I feel like a weary soldier looking back out over the battlefield...What a war....I'm tired, but in an 'o.k.' kind of way...It was such a terrible ordeal that it does feel like I was in a war or something like that.....
     The weather also here in the southeast returned to more normal temps...We were 25 degrees below normal for most of this month till now...Normal is 50-55f highs...The terrible cold made things so much harder in every way..I am SO glad the cold snap ended.....We still have snow on the ground and on roads in some places 6 days after the winter storm...Never had weather this bad in 20 years that I've been down here (South Carolina)...It made the wd's and depression worse....Buts thats friggin over with....(thanks stars)
     my mantra from the start was "I don't care what happens, I'm gonna handle it" ...Many times I was just sitting alone and depressed and sweating with chills and anxiety attacking, and I just kept repeating that.. That, and finding these message boards to read that other real human beings were feeling as miserable as me really helped...
    Sorry I'm rambling on, I just want to be able to look here and remember how bad I had it, in case the memory fades.
Keep fighting the good fight everybody, amazingly, It DOES get better for anyone and everyone who quits!

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by lexiegirl7175, Jan 16, 2011
To  rainallday...in the same boat as everyone here,but, so far, just reading and reading. Havent gone cold turkey yet,because of the intense pain that I experience. But, anyway, Im in South Carolina also. Just wanted you to know.

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by remarkablylucid, Jan 16, 2011
Day 5 and I think I'm going to live.  Only slept 5 ish hours this morning, for some reason once I got it all out of my system my body returned to a regular wake up schedule of 12:30pm.  Didn't want to get out of bed but forced myself to go outside for a walk and clean up the aftermath of trying to sleep.  I feel better than the previous 4 days so I'm hopeful it'll only get better from here.  Found that 100mg 5-htp time released works well to stop my hands from shaking long enough to get some work done.  I was specifically trying to avoid stopping the tramadol while in law school afraid it would affect my performance, but there's no turning back now I guess.  

I am 100% determined to stay off these horrible dirty little pills.  That's the key, if you're not absolutely determined to free yourself it'll never work and the pain of withdrawal will only make you more of a prisoner.  This is the 3rd time I tried to quit this poison, first two times I did it for my family and I was back on it within 3 days, not to mention a week long breakdown locked in my room because of paranoia and hallucinations.  

To everyone who really wants this to end, to not have to panic, worry and exhaust themselves living for this drug you can do it.  Yes, it's going to be hell it's going to suck, you'll cry, scream, want to saw your legs off and probably have a few temper tantrums; just realize that's you actually feeling something for the first time in who knows how long.  Lights will be wayyyy to bright and noises will make your skin ache but try and force yourself to take a shower get dressed and become part of the world again.  You basically have to restructure and reteach yourself how to live a real life.

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by rainallday, Jan 17, 2011
Hey lexiegirl7175, howdy, my guess is that you live in or near Lexington.....brilliant!
I'm over in northeast Columbia......Good to see you here hope you find support here.....

remarkablylucid, Day5 was big mentally for me knowing that the 1st 4 days are pretty well known as the worst.....
Glad you made it so far, and yeah all those symptoms you listed ring a bell or 2.....heh...

  Day 15 here and feeling much better about the future...even if I'm tired and drained from the evil tramadol..

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by kaz47, Jan 17, 2011
Hello everyone - we are now half way through day 7 of my husband being off the poisonous tramadol and seem to have turned a corner - after an horrendous night the night before and a really miserable day yesterday when he was emotionally at an all time low, last night he was able to rest and then go to bed at 1am and sleep until 9am - at la st a full noghts sleep - he looks and feels so much better this morning. My mother used to say that 'one swallow doesn't make a summer' and we are both aware that he is likely to have up and down days (and nights!) for a while BUT he now knows ther is light at the end of the tunnel and that these horrendous side effects do not last forever. To all of you in the early stages hang on in there - it will get better!

Steph thankyou so much for your kind advice - we are Brits but currently living in France - a number of the aids you have mentioned are not available over the counter in here, and are only available on prescription - my husband doesn't want to go down that route as it is what has got us here in the first place - so.... today we went up to our French pharmacy and I explained the problem (my French being better than his!) The chemist was helpful and has given us a natural remedy for restless legs which she swears by and a tub of valarium to try to help him sleep if he needs it.  I am very happy that you and your partner are getting on better and that you are feeling better and stronger - keep going - it will be worth all the grief believe me. For my part I intend to let everyone I know what an horrendous drug this can be - the more people that are aware of what they are getting themselves into the better - hopefully less people will have to suffer this. Living with pain is horrific BUT there are safer alternatives.

This morning we made a ceremonial bonfire and burnt the last of the tramadol! Well done to all of you - keep going - you will come through this!



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by StephC28, Jan 17, 2011
Hi all. Just a “quick” note to check in. All is well here.

Rainallday – sorry for calling you rainSallday for a while. :) Sounds like you’re staying strong and focused. Today is day 16 for me, and I woke up feeling pretty normal (whatever that means!)!

Remarkablylucid – stay strong today! I know it may be tempting to go get your prescription refilled (I always justified through the “just in case/what if” scenario), but you are through the worst! For me, day 8 was the major turning point (day 4-5 were tough, 6-7 slightly better, but the brain fog started lifting on day 8, which really helped me remember that I would recover from this.) Obviously everyone has a different WD schedule, but know that you’re only going towards the light. Someone posted this a couple years ago in this journal (yes, I’ve read a lot of this!), and I think it’s particularly poignant: "There's nothing wrong with pain. The resistance of it only makes it increase. Feel the pain. Let it tell you its secrets. Let it instruct you. Pain hides nothing. Pain is not a liar. The resistance of pain IS a Liar. So you breathe and accept that withdrawal takes as long as it takes." I wish I copied down who wrote it so I could give him/her credit, but I didn’t.

Kaz: love the bonfire! I hope you guys are doing well. You’re really so close to being free. I’m sorry the things I mentioned are not locatable in France – but sounds like your pharmacist will help out.

lexiegirl7175: you’ll be ready when you’re ready. Know that there are supplements and things out there to make the WD more bearable. It’s a tough road, but so doable! I was TERRIFIED of WD (I am such a baby when it comes to physical pain), so I totally understand putting off getting off this stuff. Have you thought of a taper? Lots of people have done that on here successfully.

wewar – I meant to respond to your post earlier. I totally understand what you mean about still trying to control Tramadol, and still thinking you’re in control of the situation (which is simply ego – you’re right). Meditate, breathe, do whatever you need to. Hopefully you’ll begin to see T for what it is…just a pill. No more no less. But you (and I) have given it power far beyond this. We’ve allowed it a place in our minds as well as our bodies…remember, T has infiltrated your mind. You can’t trust your thought process right now (when it comes to this drug I mean). Your mind will trick you: "you need this drug," "you’re smarter/funnier/more energized/etc with this drug," "you can’t let go of the drug just in case…" Be good to yourself right now. Be kind and non-judgmental. This is literally a fight to get the drug’s claws out of not only your body, but your mind as well. When it’s released its grasp on your mind, the body part becomes more possible (or at least less impossible). Again, this is only my experience. When I first quit this drug I had to because I ran out. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t see it in the way I do now: as poison. This time has been easier in many ways because I KNOW I can’t keep living with this pill. There is only room for one of us. And I choose me.

Have you heard of “The Alcohol and Addition Cure” (Chris Prentiss) or “The 12-Step Buddhist: Enhance Recovery from Any Addiction” (haven’t read the 12-step Buddhist one, but it was recommended to me by my therapist because for some reason I don’t like the idea of traditional AA/NA stuff. The Prentiss book has some good insight. For me, I don’t believe in a one-size fits all recovery – so take what he says with a grain of salt). Anyway, just thought it/they might be useful for you and others.  

Finally: 3 things I’m psyched about today:
1. Went to hot yoga yesterday and I can FEEL my sore muscles today (in a very good way!)
2. I felt good enough to have a small cup of coffee this morning (which I haven’t felt up to since I quit)
3. I’m off work for MLK day, so I have time to catch up on emails/work/things around the house.

Be well all

Ps. Sweetstang – hope all is well with you! Congrats to your Packers…I’m a Pats fan myself, so yesterday was tough (would we even call that a football game? Ugh.)

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by wewar, Jan 17, 2011
Thank you Steph for what you said and completly correct on what it has done to my mind. The physical pain of withdrawing from dependancy is nothing in comparison to tramadols mental effects in my case.

I have taken the taper as far as it will go . How i have managed to divide a round pill ( from India would you believe and covered in tatrazine to make it taste bad) into so my pieces is a testamony to the power of not letting go my false friend.


The meditation and listening to some of buddhas teachings which are on you tube has been very helpful and seeded in my mind the idea of non attachment. I am trying to be still  mentally in some way every day and develop a natural feeling of contentment.. I will enquire into the 12 step recovery.

I am not sure as to what to do about the collection of pills i have in different doses. I think I should get rid of them as Kaz did but unlike Kaz my supply is not prescribed and I could get a load more within 48hrs. My mental battle needs to be won wether they are in the drawer  or in in a chemist shop in Bombay. I geuss if there were none in the house it would give me time to use my new found techniques at mental calmness rather than the drug when the stress triggers are fired off.




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by remarkablylucid, Jan 17, 2011
Last night was better, got around 9 hrs of sleep.  I was doing pretty good keeping my spirits up until around 9pm when I had the weirdest thought/image flash in my head of taking just a few pills and something saying "hey you know, I can make you feel all better if you just take some of me."  I know that sounds crazy, obviously pills can't talk; to everyone who has made it a month or more, do these random flashes of cravings stop?  I wasn't in pain or anxious, just sitting down relaxing talking to some friends.  It was quite discouraging and depressing, made me begin to doubt if I'll ever put this nasty med out of my mind for good.  As soon as I had that thought I went and took a long hot bath and felt better.  Does anyone else feel more depressed or pessimistic at night?  If so, have you found anything that helps?  I'm usually fine during the days but at night and before bed I can almost feel the weight of those little pills on my mind and body.  

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by bright_sign, Jan 17, 2011
Hello,
I'm new to the community here and so glad I found you all!  Yes, remarkablylucid, the nights are the absolute worst for me too. I can get through the day mostly OK (except for the exhaustion and bouts of anxiety) and even get some sleep, but as soon as 7 p.m. rolls around the feeling of dread sets in, knowing I have a long night of sleeplessness ahead of me. It feels so lonely sometimes. I have been tapering down over the last couple of weeks - I'm down to 3/4 of a 50 mg pill four times a day, down from 100 mg four times a day. I am just glad that I found all your posts and figured out why my sleep has been so awful and my anxiety is so bad!  God bless the Internet! I do have Ativan, which helps, along with Rescue Remedy and Kava.  I've also found that biofeedback is very useful - check out www.openfocus.com and the book "Dissolving Pain." The exercises in the book and on the website help dissolve both pain and also unwanted emotions like anxiety. Is anyone out there still dealing with the original pain they were prescribed Tramadol for in the first place?  In my case I think that the Tramadol has made me more sensitive to pain so I stayed on it much longer than I needed to because the drug was making me think my pain was worse than it was.

Anyway, thank you all for just being out there. Your posts have all been a huge comfort and help to me.

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by rainallday, Jan 17, 2011
Welcome bright_sign.......I have back and neck pain and migraines, so I have to address those problems all over again without prescription hopefully...The evil tramadol took those pains all away making life look rosy, for a short time...Once tolerance built up it all looked pretty crappy and I would start getting wd symptoms even before my next dose...NO thanks..

remarkablylucid the nightime was the absolute worst for me....I would take pages and pages to list evrything I went through, as I was unprepared like a deer in headlights.....Time dragged unless I tried to sleep, then it flew...The best word I can think of right now is despair..alot of it...Heck I feel it now talking about it....But now on day 15 I can change my mind and think positive...If I had to re-do days 1-8 I wouldve taken melatonin and zyrtec at night..Stupidly I hadnt thought of any aids and went through the worst time for those 1st 8 days...All I had was gatorade and aspirin and cigarettes and coffee.....doh.,,,,Mentally for me it took till about day 11 to feel ok about things at nightime, and begin to feel that things in life mattered again....If I get insomnia now (like last night) I'm not going to get bent out of shape about it...why, because I know no matter what I'm getting better and better every day whether It feels like it or not..!!!!! In fact I put a piece of paper by the computer that I wrote on that says " I get better every day"

Hope that helps

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by wewar, Jan 17, 2011
Nights are the crunch for many I think remarkablylucid. I have spent many hours fighting the voice of Tramadol in the early hours and lost mostly. Social situations which are normal and painless are also a trigger for me. I dont know why this is exactly but it must have to do with inner confidence to some degree. If you are in any doubt about it Tramadol will find you. It is a psycho-active demon marketed as a pain killer. Synthetic  human engineered collection of molecules similair to opium but with a tweek that just happens to squeek the serotonin reuptake for that all over good feeling. There is little to match that kind of power on the fragile human mind. Tramadol the opiate of the people.

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by wewar, Jan 17, 2011
Remarkably lucid. I was introduced to the torrent download by my son. I download not to deep and meaningful movies and that keeps me occupied. Tonight  I will be watching National treasure and if that doesnt put me to sleep then from dusk till Dawn should do it. Actually I know what i am in for so will not fight the sleeplessness. This is my first night without from about 25mg over a week

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by rainallday, Jan 19, 2011
Just thought I'd come in and say hello to all the warriors here, since noone has posted since the 17th..

Day 17 no tramadol....I look forward more and more.....looking back I see a big cloud of dust....

I still have insomnia but for some reason, since my 'mind' has returned to me, I don't stress over it... Melatonin hasnt helped since the 1st time I took it, but Ive not taken more than 3 mgs either...Since I pretty much havent slept at night anyway for the last 10 years I'm used to going on a couple hours sleep on any given day....Bottom line is: Who cares about 2 versus 4 versus 6 versus 8 hours sleep when the big story is NO tramadol....Ive got time for sleep to get better and being able to say day 17 feels like winning  a lottery......

My next goal thats been eating at me since Jan 1st is quitting smoking...2+ packs a day ultralight 100's for last 10 years, and 1 pack a day the 10 years before that.....20 years.......Ive got 6 or 7 cigarettes left....that'll last a couple hours...Then its cold turkey...Don't want patches or gum..For some reason quitting smoking seems totally reasonable after the hell I just went through....We'll see......I know nicotine is mentally addictive and amazingly hard for people to quit..But right now I see quitting as being born again to life...A chance to do the things that 'real' people do like walking , jogging, tennis, breathing deeply, etc etc....It'll be tough, but I can't imagine anything harder than what I just did quitting tramadol cold turkey......!!!!!!...........!!!!!!!!

Hard to think that 20 years ago I was in tip top shape running 3+ miles at 6 1/2 minute pace every other day, lifting weights, doing kriya yoga, tennis club champ, with basically zero vices...the only thing I kept was vegetarianism...
Now at age 50 sitting there January 1st thinking about how I looked forward to NOTHING anymore...Broke, back pain neck pain migraines and depressed with a 20 year old blind and deaf cat living in my bed...Sounds pretty sad just writing it....I resolved to do new years resolutions for 1st time ever as I always thought they were corny....Now I DON'T think they are so corny....Some DEEP reflection in the 17 days while quitting tramadol so far....Where the heck did life go Ive been wondering...So I see now I can have a chance at rejoining the 'real' world and those people that are 'living' life with hope and enthusiasm.....Ive got all kinds of goals for this year now....It's been hard to know I could do nothing about any of them until I quit tramadol...But now, after becoming a warrior in this battle, I'm starting to feel like all things are possible again.......If I'm premature in tackling smoking and wd's from the tramadol kick in and mess things up, thats ok....I wont let a setback in smoking affect my ongoing current victory over shamadol...DAMN I'm angry at drugs..
So many peope on these boards suffering....Let me tell you people, when you quit tramadol and make it through the crappy aweful withdrawal, you WILL be a HERO....Just know that, and know that the other heroes and warriors here that have made the journey and came out drug free surely will also agree that anyone who quits tramadol successfully is considered a warrior and a hero!!! I know I'm blabbing because I finally feel better, but so what, Ive been fighting a personal world war and the odds were against me....I may have cried countless times like a blithering idiot the last 2 weeks, but I'm winning.....and I want everyone here to feel like they can win too.......I cried a few times at work tonight but there was a difference, as they were tears of joy that I'm winning the unwinnable battle, and somehow Ive got a new chance at living better thanks to not giving up.......Cheers and happy new year again everyone.....We deserve it....

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by kaz47, Jan 19, 2011
Hi everyone - now day 9 for my husband with life after tramadol - he is doing really well- must agree that nights are the biggest problem - in the day with the sun shining and plenty to do outside he is fine - strangely has loads of energy! His cold symptoms have all but gone. Main effects left are the dreaded restless leg thing, insomnia and the odd night sweat. He finds it very difficult to get any sleep - the rls seem to calm down at about 5am and then he manages to grab 3  or 4 hours if he is lucky - since stopping medication he has had one nights good sleep and at least 3 with none at all. Compared to many posters 3 hours is a lot of sleep so in that respect we aren't complaining - if only the restless legs would stop!  We have obtained a herbal remedy from the chemist which seems to be helping a bit and have also ordered some Hylands Resful Legs remedy online as it doesn't seem to be available here. Valarium doesn't seem to have had much impact on sleep so he is coping without. He has more energy than he has had in months and is seeing things more clearly than for the past 2 years. All in all pretty positive and we know we will come through this. For those on days 1-7 please don't give up - it will get better!  

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by 444lynn, Jan 19, 2011
Hello Everyone,
It's been a few days.
I've worked my way down to 1/4 tablet every 12 hours from six a day December 25.  On Tram for two years.  Every reduction has been a challange.
  
Tomarrow I will quit.
  
RLS has been far more severe the last week than it was before.  Never sneezed so much in my life.  Last two nights I got less than two hours sleep.  Took an hour nap at noon.  It really stinks...so tired and as soon as I'm about asleep it starts.  Depression and anxiety still comes and goes but much much less.  Every once in a while I just feel good and actually notice it.
  
Went hunting with my son after work last night.  Walked a mile in a snowstorm and field dressed two dear with a flashlight.  Felt great...not on my frozen fingers... and thought sure with all that excersize I would sleep better...not yet.  
I actually talked to my Dr. about RLS...he gave me ativan?  Makes me tired but doesn't finish the job and I actually wondered if it made it worse. I'm not going to take it any more.

StephC28 thanks for the advice.  I guess I decided on an agressive slow taper...I wanted to get done with it.  The bottom line is I'm about to be done with the drug and sleep or no sleep...I WIN.  I do still have to deal with the pain from several old injuries but it will never be done with this drug again.  I will treat acute pain with narcotics, ice, heat or anything else that works.

I will not allow myself to loose track where I am with ANY MEDICATION.

I'm feeling like doing things again...get the boat ready...do projects that I kept putting off...I'm going to loose 20 pounds and decide on amputation or fusion for my foot/ankle.  Tough choice but necessary and a new start.  
Chiefs lost...Huskers lost...maybe next year.

Hang in there Everyone.

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by dani170, Jan 19, 2011
Hello everyone!

Yes, I'm new on here. It seems as though everyone is doing so great with the recovery and getting through it! Does anyone have any suggests regarding my situation? Tramadol for 4 months, at least 5 a day and quit for 1 year then back on for 2 months ( I know, stupid!!) at least 3 a day and today my first ( and last) day with Tramadol!! I'm not sure what to do with myself. The feelings are so overwhelming...physical and emotional. Does anyone know how long this lasts and any suggestions on home remedies?? thanks to all of you and love the stories!

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by 444lynn, Jan 19, 2011
Hello Again,

What is the prognosis on the RLS thing.  There is no doubt in my mind...I have not had a "normal" nights sleep in two years when on Tranadol.  

Is there a timeframe I should expect to get rid of the RLS?  Anyones experience would be nice to know.

Lynn

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by Sweetstang, Jan 19, 2011
Day 17.

Haven't been online all that often lately. Think I even lost track of days for a bit there.  Feeling ok, just battling the headaches, MD upped my preventative med, but due to weather and well our furnace went out here, haven't picked them up yet.  Hopefully it will get working today as hubby is working on it now.  Going to get really cold here within the next few days. Below zero temps again I'm sure and probably more snow on Sat.  Still a bit tired now and them, but comes and goes.

On a good note..thanks StephC...very much looking forward to the game on Sun. Packers vs Bears. They are even closing some buisnesses here (WI) to let employees off for the game. Can't wait....Go Packers =)

Have a great day everyone and stay warm!

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by StephC28, Jan 19, 2011
Real quick as I’m rushing all over today:

444Lynn and others: Hyland’s Restful Legs and Hyland’s Leg Cramps w/ quinine (the PM one) are AMAZING for RLS. I was skeptical at first because they are homeopathic, but they really work (and I’m not the only one who thinks so – lots of others on here say they were invaluable during WD). I took five instead of 3 before I tried to sleep and then 3 more when I woke up in the middle of the night…and it seemed to work for me. There are others on here who’ve taken “handfuls.” You can find them at pharmacies (Rite Aid, CVS) and health food stores.

dani170 – glad you’re here! My advice is to read as much of this forum as you can stand…there is so much amazing advice everywhere to get through this (esp early stuff - say 2008). It will really s*** for a couple days…but that’s it.  Then you’ve got your life back. Wish I had time to write more, but I will later. Stay strong!

Rainallday- loved reading you last post. Good luck with the smoking…I think there’s pretty much nothing you can’t do after beating Tramadol!

Be well all


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by remarkablylucid, Jan 19, 2011
Today's Day 8 and I can't even describe how fantastic I feel!  Yesterday was a 3 hr Federal Tax Law class and I could actually follow what the professor was saying!  I made dinner for the first time and felt well enough to spend time with my boyfriend, who couldn't believe how happy I seemed.  This was the first time in a year he saw me without being drugged and numb; we spent the entire night laughing about the most ridiculous things - first time in a long time I laughed that much.  There's still a bit of discombobulation I think partly due to the crazy weather but it's manageable.  Went to the pharmacy today to get another script filled and I left feeling so great because I resisted getting that refill, even though I had the script in my purse.  Tomorrow's the Auto Show in Detroit, I'm looking forward to enjoying it and not just bitching the entire time because my legs hurt and I was exhausted because of the ultracet.  

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by Ducky444, Jan 19, 2011
I'm new here, been reading for 5 days, posted somewhere(?). Wding from tram 4 days. This has helped me so much.


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by hawkfan684, Jan 19, 2011
Day 2
Hello everyone I have been reading these posts for almost the last week.  This is the 3rd time I am withdrawing from pills.  The first time was almost 3 years ago from Adderall, and I can't remember much from that.  All I do remember is I was always tired and sleep all day except for the 8 hours that I was at work.  W/D from that was a piece of cake compared to the second time I W/D.  The 2nd time I starting taking vicodin.  I had kidney stones and was prescribed vicodin to help the pain.  It helped and I only took it when I needed it.  I have always had a problem with depression, which i think is due to the not so great childhood I had, and my whole life as a child I was verbal and sometimes physically abused.  The verbal part was by far the worst, in which I think helped create the depression.  I have been dealing with depression since I was at least 8yrs old.  I have always feel like I was never good enough for anyone, I felt like I was ugly and fat.  Even in my senior year of high school I weighed 108lbs and I thought I was fat.  In saying that I am 4'11 1/2" tall and a female.  Anyway, about my 3rd year out of high school I gained a lot of weight and was weighing 142lbs.  Yes to most women that doesn't seem like a lot of weight but once again keep in mind I am a very short person.  My mom made a comment to me about my weight which had me in tears and locked in the bathroom for a few hours.  That's when the depression really got worse.  A lot of my friends were deployed overseas at the time and that's when I decided to join the army reserves.  I joined in sept 06 and left for basic training in jan 07.  After I finished my AIT (which is the school you go to after basic) I started feeling a little bit better.  But the feelings slowly starting coming back.  So I started taking adderall and took it for over a year and my weight got down to 112 and to me I thought I looked fabulous.  Well one day I was out and the person I got it from no longer was getting it so I was done with that.  Like I said earlier the W/D weren't too extreme.  Now back to the vicodin, at first I was addicted to it because I only took it when I needed it.  BUT then I gained weight and got up to I think 130lbs and the depression came back.  I had no energy to do anything and I looked at my self with disgust.  One day before going to work I was dealing with the depression pain and needed to find something to take to give me some energy.  Well I found my left over bottle of vicodon and took 1 pill.  Within 30mins I felt great and energized and that's where it all started.  To make this part short (lol) I started with vicodin which led to hydromorphone and tramadol (at this time tramadol did nothing for me)  and then it finally led me to oxycotin, first 20mg a day then to 40mg a day.  I ran out of those which at that point I had no desire to find more because I was ashamed of myself for even starting taking any of them.  I told a coworker(who is also my bestfriend) and my boyfriend.  Both were very understanding and supportive 100%.  I stopped taking all of the above meds in may 2010, so not that long ago.  And also while being on all those pain killers I was up to 136lbs.  The first week and a half or so were hell.  Two weeks after quitting I had to leave for 2 weeks for the army and the army keeps you busy so didn't have much time to think about the w/d, plus by then they were ten times better but still had some troubles of sleeping.  But I blamed that on totally exhaustion lol cuz that's army life.  Anyways I stayed clean for about 4 months until one day I was at work and had some small hangover b/c the night before I drink for like the first time since coming off of the other "evils".  Anyways on top of the hangover it was busy as crap.  The town I live in had a flood the night before also and the whole town lost use of water for about 5 days due to the flood.  I am a CMA and work at a assisted living where yes I passed meds to the elderly.  And no I have never taking meds from them.  Anyways I felt like crap so someone gave me some tramadols.  At that time I was thinking to myself it will be okay if I take one cause I mean its just tramadol its not a narcotic or anything.  Well I was wrong.  In Sept 2010 started off just taking 1 once in awhile 2 50mg tabs a day.  Then starting in nove I starting taking more and more to the point that a the last few weeks I have been taking 6-8 50mg a day.  At first it was great and I felt great even lost some weight I got down to 126lbs which was almost good for the army b/c my max weight for the army is 125.  But the great feeling started to fade after taking them for a couple of months so I uped my daily dose.  I never took 6-8 at the same time I started with 2 tabs and everytime I took some more I usually took 1-2 mostly 2.  Anyways I still have 11 left and told myself I would wean myself off of them when I got my last 30 tabs.  Well with only 11 left i couldn't do it.  So yesterday I told myself enough is enough.  A friend gave me some diet/energy pills and they are a very low dose.  I am not saying this is the right thing to do but I don't know what else there is to do as I can't take days off of work b/c i rather pull my teeth out then call into work due to my boss isn't so nice to the full time staff that calls in.  Anyways yesterday is my day one.  I took one tramadol and it did nothing I didn't even feel a slight change.  I had to work in 2 hours so I decided to take the energy pill and it helped quite a bit.  My legs still kill and I still feel foggy my I can get up and move around.  Last night I couldn't fall asleep at all, so I took a lorazepam that I was prescribed from my last w/d cause I didn't use them all.  I finally feel asleep at 515 this am and woke up at 10 then fell back to sleep and woke up at noon.  I took a energy pill and it has been helping today otherwise I would nt  be able to type this right now.  I am NOT going to take and tram today I refuse to!!!!  I had today off but work the next two day and then have sat-mon off.  I am hoping by tuesday I will feel some better as I have to work 8 days in a row.  I only have 7 of the energy pills left so I am worried.  I have all of these plogs plus some others on the older forums on here.  A lot of people talk about the stuff they can get my like I said right now my brain is foggy and I cannot think clearly at all.  I also read the home remedy Thomas list on the older forum I think thats what is was called anyway.  My problem is I cant think clearly and I am not quite sure what those vitamins are and where you get them at.  I feel like such a lil child right now.  I do have a prescription to wellbutrin that I was prescribed to take after the last w/d for my depression.  I only took it one day and never really gave it a chance.  I have read in a few places on here that it helps but its not enough to convince me to try it now.  I know I need to start taking it to help with the my problem of depression but just wondering if I should wait until after the w/d.  Anyways I hope there are still some of you still on here for me to talk to since I am only on day 2.  I have many other questions I want to ask but I have wrote a book already.  BTW  I am really really sorry this is VERY long I just didn't know where to start so I could only think of starting at the begining.  For everyone or anyone who gives me the time to read my blog thank you very much I could use all the help and support i can get because right now I just have myself.  

Megan

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by Ducky444, Jan 19, 2011
You all sound so amazing, strong and clear. I have 15 years of sobriety (alcohol)and still tangled with with this mess. A sober doc told me it was non narcotic and I thought that meant I could take it with no consequences, jokes on me. Once I realized I could not skip a day without wd I knew I was in deep, again. I mainly took a normal dose for pain, then the pain improved but I was stuck. I am determined to end this now. I am ready to live again. Thanks for posting

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by hawkfan684, Jan 19, 2011
Ducky444
I am here with you except I am only on day 2.  How have the first 4 days gone for you.  They first two have sucked but bearable.  I am just scared of what is coming in the next few day and weeks.  I was only on tramadol for about 4 months so I know my w/d won't maybe last as long some of the other ppl who have taken it way longer than I have and managed to get off of it so I know I can too just scared and worried because I have to still work while going through this and at my job I am always on my feet walking around for 8 hours.  Good Job making it to 4 days you are doing great please keep updating your progress and I will do the same.
Megan

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by Ducky444, Jan 19, 2011
I've been such a coward I got the flu Friday and decided sh** I'm already so darn sick how much worse could it get? So based on that the most prevalent symptoms are fear and strange nerve tingling in my feet- like the nerves are trying to shrink back up through my body. I had them every night on the drug but ignored it-worse now. Some unpleasant stomach challenges. I have hydrocodone from dental work I broke them up into tiny pieces and have used them to help with wd. Taking o/c sleep aid at night. If I didn't already have the flu I wouldn't have had the nerve. Plus I work all the time too. I couldn't figure out how the heck to wd at work so getting sick was a blessing in disguise. Took the week off to get through it all. Thank you for the note it helps knowing there are people doing this at the same time. I hope you come through easy-well as easy as possible,
Ellen

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by Ducky444, Jan 19, 2011
Megan, sorry that last note was aimed at you. You sure have been through it. Are you in the Army or another branch?
Damn if you can do that you can do anything!


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by rainallday, Jan 19, 2011
Well I failed pretty quickly at quit cigarettes..This massive tension headache, all I can do Is take aspirin and sudafed...I lasted 2 hours from waking till all the wd symptoms from stupid tramadol started coming on, and the headache sealed it..I smoked a cig...lol...still clean day 17 tramadol though...I 'may' get the patch for next try on cigs...Just shows life aint perfect 17 days off tramadol..But hey, I'll get there....Sorry to all about the premature enthusiasm about cigs,. I need to prepare a little better for my next go at it....
       Ducky444 and hawkfan684 greta to see yall supporting each other..Yall can read back through these journals for even more support...It helps alot with many answers for all the questions...I did it the hard way, and probably the most helpful thing I had was these forums...Stay strong.....
    Stephc28 Thanks for the kind words...They won't be wasted....I appreciate it..
Great to see some new posts again, feels like a bigger support team here again!

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by hawkfan684, Jan 19, 2011
To everyone
Thanks for the quick response I so appreciate it ALOT!!!!!  I am still wondering about the stuff everyone has said to buy to help with the w/d and where I can get them.  I have not told my boyfriend whom I live with about it yet.  He knows about the past two.  The first one we weren't exactly together at the time, just hung out a lot.  The last time I told him and like I said he was very supportive but said if I did it again he would be very mad at me and possible end our relationship.  I am hoping that wont be the case since he said it if it was behind his back and he found out on his own, things would end.  Idk I am still scared to tell him.  The weird thing right now is that its not as bad as it was this last time so thats why I am hesitant on telling him but I am only on day 2 so it probably will get worse before it gets better.  I haven't felt like crying yet I think I am more mad at myself for doing such stupid stupid thing for recreational use to deal with my depression.  I have a load road ahead of me that I cant wait to get to the finish line!!!!
Ducky444  I am in the army reserves.  I have been in for about 41/2 years now.  I just put in my promotion packet to get my E-5 which is a Sgt.  I am still waiting to hear from my unit as to whether I got it or not.  The last day of drill earlier this month I was told I most likely will get it but still waiting for a Colonel to sign off on it so I should know in the next week or so.  I have drill again in a little over two weeks so thats another reason I quit the trams now so I wont completely feel like s*** when I go b/c I HAVE TO go esp if I do get promoted.
Knowing that there are ppl here still actively talking to all of us and are going through it too has made me feel better and more confident.  Yes it has helped to read all the blogs, I have read many of them on 38-40 but knowing that there are still ppl here to talk to and gives you responses back is whats helping me even more.THANKS A MILLION =)

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by hawkfan684, Jan 19, 2011
Sorry I forgot one more thing which was the reason why I posted my last blog in the first place.

To rainallday
This is just in my opinion and what my PC told me this last time I went c/t off of oxycotin.  I would wait a little while to quit smoking.  Your body can only so much at a time.  Your body is still recovering from the tramadol w/d.  I would wait a few months before you try to quit smoking.  I am a smoker too and on my 5th day I went to my doctor I told about my addiction and i was lucky because she was very understanding.  I made a big step by FINAL admitting a have depression and have had it for years and that I used those narcotics to help me get through the day.  That's when she prescribed me wellbutrin and like I said I tried it for a day and the way it made me feel kinda creeped me out so I stopped taking them.  Any way at that appt I told her I wanted to quit smoking to and wellbutrin is also used to help ppl quit smoking.  But she said that wasn't why she prescribed it to me she said it was for my depression.  My sister takes wellbutrin and my mom who as been an RN for over 30years said she has always heard good things about it so I will try it again after the harsh w/d days are over.  The reason my doctor told me to wait on quitting smoking was because of what I said at the beginning.  Your body can handle only so much at a time same reason why the first days of w/d are hell.  She told me to start taking the wellbutrin and wait at least 6 months before I even attempt to try to quit that too.  So I am going to get through this right now start back on the wellbutrin and deal with the days or weeks of weirdness from the wellbutrin and do it the right way like I should have a few months ago.  And then in 6 or so months try to quit smoking cigs too.  Those are my goals for 2011.  I so envy you that you are at 17 days clean I can't wait to say that for myself.  

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by rainallday, Jan 19, 2011
Hey hawkfan684, thanks for posting...I know your tough if your in the reserves, and you can use that toughness to get through the 'boot camp' of symptoms you may face.....You can and will do it.....
      I know about wellbutrin, but I thought it was pulled off the market a few years ago, I can't remember why..I actually had a bottle of it that my sister sent many years ago, just sitting around, and I threw it out....I'll have to google it and email her to see why she had it and whether it helped her...She also currently smokes, and knows all about addiction as her daughter-my neice- is a recovering heroin addict...I wont even go into that other than to say theyve been through 10 years of tough times, and I try not to mention anything related..
   But back on point, I used the patch about 10 years ago and was successfully quitting but my fiance at the time was failing miserably and I ended up smoking with her to keep her from talking suicidal junk.....If I'd have known the future back then I'd have stayed off the cigs anyway LOL.....she's long gone only the cigs remain hehe.....So anyway the patch 'did' work, for me anyway...I may get some at walmart next trip there....I'll try not to hurry as your advice sounds very sensible....we'll see how it goes, I want so bad to be a 'non' smoker again....In the meantime I'm proud to be a warrior here.....
   ps. just for a chuckle This page takes forever to load on my high speed internet...Feels like dial-up when I come here lol...anyone else connection feel slow when they come here?
      

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by hawkfan684, Jan 19, 2011
I know I have made a lot of longs posts today and I apologize for that.  I just have lots of questions going through my mind right now.  For anyone who has already gone through or is going through tram w/d, did or do you have the feeling where you just want to be by yourself.  My boyfriend gets off work in 20 mins and i feel irritated about that.  I love him with all my heart and plan on telling him about the tram and ya I am scared to but its not the reason I feel irritated.  Right now I just feel like being by myself.  Is that weird?????  Like I don't feel sad just irritated.  I guess I am still somewhat hesitant on telling him because part of me feels that if I do its just going to make me think about the w/d all the time even more.  I feel like if I don't tell him I wont think about it has much.  To me it is just WAY easier to deal with it and talk about with ppl I don't know and are going through the same thing as I am.  I guess I am just really wondering if this normal and part of the withdraw.  Like I have mentioned in a couple of my last long blogs (which again I am really sorry about) I have withdrawn other pills twice.  The first one all I did was sleep, and the last one withdrawing from oxy and hydro I was scared to be alone and was always thinking about my w/d symptoms constantly.  This time around all I wanna do is be left alone.  Idk just want to know if this is common.  I wish I had learned my lesson the first two times but they always say the third times the charm.  A promise I need to make to myself and keep!!!

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by EmilyPost, Jan 19, 2011
This thread is closed!

Please come to Part 41!

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/261660/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-Part-41

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