All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

Sick and Alone

Dec 20, 2010 - 8 comments
Tags:

sick

,

Depression

,

Anxiety

,

dizziness

,

belching

,

Vision problems

,

heart palpations

,

SHORTNESS OF BREATH

,

nausea

,

vomiting

,

forgetfullness

,

nervousness

,

leg cramps

,

feeling faint

,

acid indigestion



I just needed to write down how I feel about my health and what else has been going on with me. For those of you who dont know I have been suffering with stomach problems for over a year now. I finally got insurance and am now seeing a gasterologist. He done an EGD a month ago and dignosed me with Gasteritis and Acid Reflux. He said my stomach just produces to much acid and they tried to prescribe me a different acid reducer but the problem is my insurance wont cover for the ones their trying to get me on because their like $200. I have tried several over the counter acid reducers but I still have a lot of problems. I recently started getting worse and having other symptoms such as heart palpations, feeling of blacking out, shortness of breath, sometimes sweating, leg cramps, brain fog, forgetfullness, nervousness, depression, dizziness, and even vision changes. I seriously thought something was horribly wrong with me so I went to the ER one night when I didnt have insurance and she put an EKG on me to make sure my heart was ok it was so she just said it was anxiety and gave me a shot of Adavan. After that I was still sick and I went to see my doctor and she tested my thyroids, CBC, Magnisum and a few other things but everything was fine but I wasnt I still remained very sick. I had no energey and my stomach was progessively worse so I ended up loseing a lot of weight over it. Somedays I didnt know if I was going to make it because I felt so bad. I couldnt eat right or sleep through out the night and I even had problems going to the store because my eyes would bother me. They seem sensetive to light and like im strainging them which causes me to get minor headaches or feel dizzy. One time I was at the store I seen a bright object and it made me feel like I was going to faint so I had to go set out in the car and wait for my mom to finsh shopping. I cant stay online very long or watch tv as much because it seems to bother my eyes. Somedays they seem better then others. After I got insurance I got a new doctor and told her all about my other symptoms and she wanted to do a CT Scan and did a lot of blood work. A few days later they called me and wanted me to come in so she could discuss my test results. My doctor told me my chlesterol was high which is odd because Im not over weight and Im young she said the other thing is my B12 levels was 280 which is low and its not common for someone my age to have. She said but since I have stomach problems and have to take acid reducers my stomach probably cant absorb it right and it is possible it could be whats causing all of my other symptoms. She said I would probably have to get B12 injections monthly for the rest of my life unless my stomach gets fixed. She decided to wait on the CT Scan to see how I do. After I got my first shot I did seem to be doing better then after a week I felt just as bad as I did before I got the shot. So I went and got my 2nd one and waited 2 weeks and just got my 3rd shot. Somedays I feel better then others but theirs always at some point during the day and night were I dont feel good weathers its my stomach or a few of these other symptoms that will happen randomly at different times. Its very frusterating and scary. Sometimes I get some anxiety from it but I use to have my anxiety under control up until I started getting worse. I have a fear that its not just lack of B12 thats making me so sick even though I knew it can but some people have lower levels then I do and they barly have any symptoms. On my stomach they also did a biopsy and it came back positive but it could be 7 different things so they have to figure out what else I could have. I go in to see my GI doctor next week. I have no idea what else they think I could have but thankfully its not cancer. On top of being sick all of the time my fiance of almost 5 years also broke up with me and I dont really understand why. He lied to me a few times about where he was at and I knew about him lying. I was upset with him and then he just changed and said he was tired of trying to change when he still keeps messing up and hurting me. He said he would stay out of my life so I could find my happiness. I was hurt because everything seemed fine until he lied to me about stupid things and he would just go out of town and wouldnt come see me when he knew I was upset with him instead he would just go home and sleep until he went to work. He told me just a few days ago I was so amazing and he would always stay by my side and then he just throws me away like it doesnt bother him. This is not the 1st time something like this has happen but I was able to forgive him because I loved him and I wanted to make things better for our son. Now Im realizing that even though he seemed like he was changing and getting better that this is a pattern with him and that he probably wont ever fully be able to change no matter how much he tries to convince people he has. I think once he gets his mind back to normal he will try to get me back but I dont think I can handle keep getting hurt and lied to when he probably wont be able to change. It really hurts knowing that the only person I really cared about seemed fine and then all of a sudden changed within just a few days and decided to end it because of him hurting me yet I was the one that got hurt and didnt do anything. I just dont understand and whats worse is here I am always sick at a time when I really needed him right before Christmas and he just walks away like it didnt bother him. How can you act so in love with someone for years and then just walk away from the person you supposely loved and your kid emotinonless? This really upsets me and it would be a lot easier just to forget it and be with him but things dont work out that way and I know me and my son deserve a lot better and he wouldnt be able to keep me happy since he would just keep doing things to upset me. Now I cant really eat much because im sick and hurt from him and I still cant sleep good even though Im tired. My moods change because of all the stress I have times were im so angry at him for just walking away and giving up and then I have times to where I miss him and cant stop crying. I get sad because I cant get out to really do anything because I never feel right and I still worry theirs something else wrong with me. I dont know what to do anymore. Im to young to be having this many problems and I want to be able to get out and do things and take care of my son but its hard on me. Anyway thats whats been going on with me. I really hope things start to look up for me and for anyone else going thru something horrible weather its health or just anything. I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and the best of luck finding the help and support they need to find a cure for their health problems.

Comments
Post a Comment
Avatar_f_tn
by joyb2002, Dec 20, 2010
Has anyone suggested fibromyalgia?
Darling things sound bleak and you obviously have a lot of unhappyness as well at the moment but you have to get a grip for your sons sake. I was ill for years and have two children. Let me tell you they are tuned in to you and notice and remember things that you don't even give a second thought to. Do you have a support base, your mum or a friend and don't be afraid to ask for help. People amazed me with their generosity. Get yourself some meditation tapes to calm down. I suffered from anxiety attacks and they are terrible especially in public places and your heart jumping around makes you feel very mortal but I found I was able to get over them by at first avoiding the places that brought it on, usually crowded places, stayed where I felt safe and gradually confronted it and now I am fine. Meanwhile remember you are special, you have a very special son and there is light at the end of the tunnel even though you may not be able to see it. Tell your Doctor you need to get on top of the depression and make them realise how big an issue it is. Sometimes they don't realise. All the best of luck and sending love your way.    Joy

1222076_tn?1402214267
by Curly03, Dec 20, 2010
Thanks yes anxiety is terrible it also happen to ruin on my fathers side of the family. They have to take medication for it but I was usually ok. I get them randomly usually when im at the store and not feeling good. They usually dont last long but the real severe ones last a while and I seriously feel like Im dieing or going crazy. I cant stay home forever because I like to get out but with the way I feel its hard to do the things I want to do. I love my son dearly and Im a stay at home mom. I live with my parents so I do have a lot of support and help. Im generally not depressed the b12 injections have seemed to help with that a lot I use to cry everyday because I felt so sick now not so much but Im just moreless a sad depressed since my fiance left me over something he did when all I ever did was love him and be good to him. I never did anything wrong to him but he has to me one to many times so I guess this is the reason were not together now its my time to find someone who will be good for me and my son. Im trying to think positive and I know in time I will get better and will see that light at the end of that tunnel sooner rather then later. so that way things will start to look up in my life and I can be happy and move on. I hope your health issues are getting better for you. Best of luck to you and your family!

1222076_tn?1402214267
by Curly03, Dec 20, 2010
Oh and to answer your question I have heard about fibromyalgia. It actally can cause a lot of my symptoms I read but Im not generally in pain and I know thats one of its main symptoms. It is possible I could have it but I have heard theirs no test for it to know for sure. I actally have a freind that is suffereing from similar symptoms as me  espically the vision problems and now thats what her doctor thinks she might have or MS but their going to test her for that in a few months. How did your doctors determine you have fibromyalgia? what can cause it? I hope your finding some relief now. Goodluck!

Avatar_f_tn
by joyb2002, Dec 21, 2010
iT WAS A VERY FUSTRATING TIME. aCTUALLY 20 YEARS UNTIL i WAS TOLD LIKE i SHOULD KNOW ALREADY.My experience is that it effects everyone in a different way. Usually they think you have MS and then when you don't they call it fibro. However there is a lot of research going on in the States that is showing that there are ways of telling now. Its really worth raising with your Dr. So far it has been just an elimination of everything else. For me I think its a sleep, or depth of sleep thing and everything stems from that. You would be lucky if you don't have the pain but you do have all the tummy problems. Irritable bowl has often been part and parcel with fibro. Depression also. I also have eye problems and at times just drop for no reason. Also as clumsy as all hell. A lot of spasms and cramps especially in my back area, especially the shoulder and neck. Oh I could go on but when I read your story this morning I thought. I remember feeling like that. Anyway darling I hope you are feeling better than this morning. Another thing fibromyalgia seems to start up after either extreme stress, I had Ross River Fever followed by glandular fever and I just never recovered. It was like I always had Ross River. I have high cholestrol but low blood pressure - another common thing. As for memory, forget about it. Ha Ha!!  

Avatar_n_tn
by txgirl1000000, Sep 14, 2013
I have had the same things you both described and thought I had fibromyalgia.  I never got tested for it, because I started taking Oil of Oregano and my pain got better.  A couple years later, I went gluten and dairy free and started taking digestive enzymes.  I have a lot less back pain since I went gluten and dairy free.  It took a couple of years, but all the changes have been good.  The only big problem seems to be that the stomach is damaged with an eroded lining from taking Advil and aspirin for all the headaches and pain I had before taking Oil of Oregano, probiotics, and changing my diet to Gluten and Dairy Free.

Wishing you all to heal and get well soon.

Avatar_n_tn
by txgirl1000000, Sep 14, 2013
PS. Stop eating Sugar.  It increases the inflammation and all the other problems.

480448_tn?1403547723
by nursegirl6572, Sep 14, 2013
txgirl, didn't know if you noticed, but this journal is a few years old.  Sometimes it's easy to miss that a post/journal is old.  I'm not sure, but it's likely that the author of the journal is no longer.

1222076_tn?1402214267
by Curly03, Sep 15, 2013
To everyone yes I wrote this journal entry almost 3 years ago when I was horribly sick and going through a really hard time with my ex. Nursegirl Im sure its obvious by now that Im alive and kicking. Im not sure why you would think I might of died. In 2011 I got a Hida scan and it showed my gallbladder didnt function correctly so I had my gallbladder removed Feb. 2011. I also had a B12 and Vitimin D defficency so my doctor thinks thats probably what was causing all my other symptoms. I had to get B12 injections and take Vitimin D pills for a while. I still see a GI doctor they still got me on acid reducers the Endoscopys show I produce to much acid thats why sometimes I get nasous, belch, or feel acidy. If I go to long without eating I can feel pretty sick. I no longer think I have fibromyalgia. I just thought I would reply and let you all know how Im doing now.

Post a Comment