Jan 12, 2011
Well lets start this off by telling You I am Listing to Annie Lennox and the Song is " Everybody Hurts " Well I have to tell you I started this Journal Many Days ago. So Up date would be that I am going on the Trial Study. We will have to pay part of this study because our insurance found a Loop Hole they could get out of paying for any of it. And I have found out that I have another Sport Of Cancer on my Lung. So that was from the last scan they have done. I don't think I have said over on this site that They have given me a Year to live if I choose to do Nothing. Take No Chemo or anything. They can help me try and get 2 to 4 years is what we hope for and with this trial study as part of something for me to try then if it does not work I have 3 other things I might be able to try to stop this Bullet in Mid Air..
Now I think I have told everyone here this is ware I come to be Just ME...to let my hair down to say what is on my mind and just talk...And Oh my gosh I can say to you I am scared to death...No pun intended...But Come on who would not be....I feel my insides saying Tic Toc Tic Toc and it drives you nuts...and each and every day is like a black X off in your mind..Yes I am scared...
Another Part of me is at a strange Peace..weird to say..But there is a part of me that is ready to live my life...to start doing what I had put off thinking I had 20 some plus years..
And please don't take me wrong any time I get is a blessing and I do look at the Glass Half Full but at times the Glass Spills and I talk about that also. I do think You can't be happy all the time. I hate to be rude but I find most of those types are not real..and don't have a real bone in there body. I also know that when I look at things in a Negative lite for too long then life becomes a big Downer..I also know I have to be honest to myself..And I have to be Truly Real..no time for being fake and you for real the things you put off in life well darn you never know you might find your self looking at only a couple of years..What do you have to do to be ready to have it all fixed to not leave it for other's to do for you..I want to Spend my time with the one's that love me the ones that want to be there with us threw thick and thin the ones that love us. What I call Real Friends..You know it is not the Blood that runs threw my veins that makes me A Sister to some of you or a daughter to some others. I tell you I don't want to Spend a bunch of time being Mad or not being Happy..
I have so much to be happy for and Blessed with the best of the best...God Bless each one of you...