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Starting to See a bit of Normal

Jan 22, 2011 - 2 comments
Tags:

Cancer

,

Melanoma

,

Anxiety

,

Depression

,

addition

,

methadone

,

Agoraphobia

,

OCD



Hello Everyone,

Well I am happy to say I am starting to feel a bit of Normal in my life these days. The Insurance Company still won't pay but Medicare Will do there 80% and I will take that. I will be checking into some things that I can get help on and I really need to try and make myself go to a Support Group but being that I have Anxieties it is so hard to push your self out the door but to be honest telling myself that I don't know how long I have seems to help.

I have found that my OCD is really kicking into high gear and that I have a need to get things in order and I know part of that is because I can't keep a hold of my health so I will do what I can ...And you all know that I moved in here on my last go around with Chemo and had only been off it for 8 months before I got Cancer again and so now to be honest it is so much better and I can have some one up here and be happy. And my Girl Room is Totally A Girl Room...and my husband and I are going to get the Spare Room into a Spare Room that Still holds my husband's and Mine and My Son's stuff. It is odd's and ends...Bunch of odds of my art stuff. Most of the stuff I use daily is in my Room with me.

Anyway I started the study on the 19th of this Month so just a Couple of day's ago and Pretty good so far. A bit tired and not too hungry and  up set tummy ....
But the Tummy thing goes away
the not too hungry Well I am a Women what can I say...
the tired thing I am hoping that will go away.
Oh and the hair loss well that one does not make me happy but I'm hoping again that will stop.

As for what do they say about the Study..It is Called E7080 and it is for Stage 4 Melanoma With Such and Such Type of Cancer and all that Crap and like Many have said to me .. The reason this time is so different then the others is because they for one Can't remove the Cancer. 2 More has already shown up
And there is over 250 Different types of Cancer and I am by No means mad I'm trying to help people understand what helped So and So does not always help the Next person.
So with a Trial that is what it is..a Trial..I'm in Stage 2 of this Trial and I hope that is a Great learning experience for me and the team and that it stops' my Cancer or give's me way more time then what I'm Looking at with the other Option's left open to me. Which is 4 years Maybe 5 if I was Super Lucky.

Yes it is a Super Big Trip to have that sort of thing said to you and to think that if this does not work does this take how much time off my life? How long do I give it? Oh yes all good things to remember to ask Next time I am in.
For Crying out loud I swear I have talked Cancer and done blood draws More CAT Scans and X Rays then I want to in I don't know how long..But I have more to go and I try and tell myself that it is my life now. It is not a bad thing it means I am alive..

Oh I am trying Hard to stop the Negative thinking and I am trying to Live each day..Funny how I was on the Computer All the time and Now I am not on it much at all. But  I have Loved Reading and I have Loved Watching Stuff like the History Channel and Documentary's on Buddha to Ghost to you name it...and then I love to Paint and oh I am getting out of the house more and I am Cleaning the house all the time..or as Much as I can.....I am learning that I can't do as Much as I did do not so long ago...But again I can learn how to get along and I will be looking into help.


Well I wanted to let everyone know how I'm doing..
Love You all
and God Bless
XOXO Rhea  

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by crackerjack4u2, Jan 23, 2011
Hello Rhea, Thank you for letting us know how you are getting along.  I'm glad to hear you're life is starting to feel a little bit more normal.  It's excellent to hear you are getting out of the house more and are doing things you enjoy doing at home as well.    It really does sound like you are trying to do things for you and trying to keep a positive outlook which I was thrilled to hear. Getting out and about, and doing what you feel like doing will help bring your spirits up too.  I'm sorry to hear you've had to have so many x-rays tests etc done already, and still have more to go.  Hopefully they can get what they need the next go around and not have to poke and stick around on you anymore after that because I'm sure you get tired of it.  It was great to hear that Medicare is going to pick up 80 percent of your study because I know the last time you wrote that you were concerned about that, so it's good to hear they are going to help you. It might be possible to get Medicaid to spin down the remainder  of the study cost, and your labs etc.   Please keep us posted when you can on how you are doing, and how the Study is going Hun.  You are In My Prayers.  God Bless Brenda        

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by aheart, Jan 23, 2011
Hi Rhea!  So happy to hear the good news about Medicare paying 80% its about time someone did something! You really sound like a totally different person. Funny how hope can relite a flame that was extiguquished by dispair & sadness. Oh honey I'm excited for you! I want this to work for you so much! Hey if Michael Douglas can come back from stage four throat cancer....maybe you can too. I know yours isn't the throat but you have a chance now. After you are finished with this you will be so familiar with cancer stuff you may as well get a job maybe helping other people to understand the disease and it's treatments! You have become an expert in the field! Not to mention the Science books your case will be noted in. You may be making cancer history. That's how high my hopes are for you-you GO Girl!! You surround yourself with whatever it is that makes you happy but please keep us posted on your progress. If you get lonely, we are here! If you get MAD heck we'll get MAD with you! You are in my hopes and prayers Rhea!!!! :0 )

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