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Hello Everyone My Name Is Rhea and I have been a Traveling Freak Show

Jan 25, 2011 - 6 comments
Tags:

Cancer

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Anxtiety

,

Addiction

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Depression

,

Agoraphobia



Hello Everyone,

I have been a Traveling Freak Show these last few Months and before that I had not been online for a Couple of Months and In May of 2010 I got Off Methadone and a Few Months before that I got off Chemo for the 2nd time in March of 2010.

So here it is January 25, 2011 and I have Cancer again as You very well know from Other Journal Entries.
I have Stage 4 Melanoma and they can't remove all of it and if the trial drug does not work that I'm on we move on to the next Chemo to try. There is not many and it is hard on a person.

Now that we got all the In's and Outs about Me and What I have done or Lets put it this way ...So of the stuff I have done and I got more..

I am a Married Women to a Freaking Wonderful Man he is I'm not Joking My Best Friend and we started out as friends before We ever dated.
He is My Care taker and yes Oh Yes do I make sure he takes time away from it all. That he finds time for himself and that we set goals and are on the Same Track time to time..

I have Great Children 4 that I gave birth to and 1 that Came with the New Husband and then 2 more from my husband's X wife..so you count them. Anyway I am a Very Proud Mom and Pleased to say I am a GrandMa Now also..
She Was Born Dec 7, 2010
Her Name is Zoey Lorrianne Leavens

I am not just about Cancer I posted some of my paintings not all of them and I will try and post some more of my work. I am going to be posting more often and getting my life some what back. Before I found out that I had Cancer back we had a family of 4 move in with us. Which has been great all in all but this is a Very Small house and not too many Square feet there is the Up stairs but if the Teen age Girls Come up and down the stairs it makes my dog bark and makes my Meditation time not so fun!!

So anyway before the family moved in for the first time in my life I had finally found My Routine in life. I have been trying and Trying to get one and My Own Mother was very Routine d' and I Can't tell you how happy I was Once I finally got mine own.
I finally started making Head way in my own home and I started to know where my own things were now and I also started going threw boxes and tossing out the Real Junk and I am starting to do some of that Art I was going to do when I got old, Just in Case I don't make it to the age I'm wanting I will have things done for my family.
And I'm sure if I do make it to that Old Age I was Wanting, Well there are ton's of photo's to take along the way there is ton's of Wreaths to make Photos to take Hunting trips to go on and I don't want to miss those.

I want to live..Oh trust me I want to live...You feel a Tic Toc Tic Toc Inside your Body that is enough to drive you Crazy.
But on the other hand it is kind like when I let the House Rule My Every Move. Now I will Stop and say Ok I got this Much done and I will go and Read or Paint and watch Documentaries on the Computer..

Yes Life is Coming back together...the Chemo does make me tired and that is a bummer because of the Support groups for Cancer is at 430 in the Afternoon I need one for Mid Day or something.
I also have checked into a friend to help me get things done and what People to Call and such
and I am going to get Family Photo's taken. One of my girls is still not speaking to me but the other one and I are and she told me when she will be home next so I told my friend and so she will fix it all.
Yeppie..that makes me Happy.

Well I wanted you all to know I'm Okay today..I'm getting better. Thank You so much for the Personal Notes and for writing to my Journal for your prayers and Just listing to me. It means so much More then You know. I thank all that is good for you

oxoxo xoxox Loves and Hugs Rhea

  

Comments
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by specialmom, Jan 26, 2011
Well Rhea, you are one strong lady!  I like your style and charisma.  May you have all the life you want to live for many many years to come!  With your fighting, positive attitude------------ this will only help.  I'm glad you've found a man to love and care for (as well as he loving and caring for you), have a wonderful grandbaby to dote on, lots of kids to make memories with, and have discovered and are focusing on your passions such as your art.  This is all wonderful.  I wish you comfort to any pain you have, peace in your heart, continued healing and always much joy!

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by crackerjack4u2, Jan 26, 2011
Hello Rhea,
You are such a beautiful person.  Your strength, courage, and positive outlook are truly remarkable qualities.  It's so wonderful to hear all the things you are getting accomplished, and all the love and support surrounding you.  I wish you nothing but good luck, good fortune, good health, and good memories along your journey in life.  May God walk with you every step of the way my friend, while making your life the truly best it can be.   Huggs and God Bless Brenda  

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by push2rewind, Jan 26, 2011
Tearing up..I want you to know I love you and will pray for your healing.

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by ladyrhea4, Jan 27, 2011
Crakerjack4u2 or Brenda ,

Thank You So Much
Most the time I write to everyone in one box and hope that everyone looks back to it. But now a days I am getting my life back in order and trying to give myself the time to go online. The hard thing is when tired hits me it really hits and there is not a thing I can do.  
So thank you So much and know that if I don't get back to you at time it happen, I am so happy to have your comments they truely help me in my "fight" and gives me a Smile to think So Place out there someone loves me.
Thanks again Brenda
XOXO Rhea

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by ladyrhea4, Jan 27, 2011
Dear Push2rewind
Oh don't Tear up...You will get me doing that...Love you too thanks for writing and Look forward to talking again.
Loves Rhea xoxox

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by ladyrhea4, Jan 27, 2011
Specialmom
Thank you so much for all the Love and encouragement  you have given me...!
I am Looking to the Bright Side of Most everything and You do Look at life different when you are told your Might End in a year.
Unless one of those NEW CHEMO's that have Not Passed FDA Yet Comes threw and works for me then Yes I will live that Long Life and Yes I will fight for as long as I can. I am so the sort of person that has too see it for what it is..and work from there..

Painting such a good thing and to let everyone see what you see threw your eyes..I am going to go post a few which should take all day to post them at how slow this thing goes. So I hope to after that write in my Journal and talk to everyone later
thanks So Much Specialmom
xoxox Rhea

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