Sep 07, 2008
After 2 early ultrasounds that confirmed a hearbeat, we were having our 12 week checkup and mood was light and routine. The last order of business was to use a handheld doppler device to listen to the baby's heartbeat. When the doctor had trouble finding it, he sent us down the hall for an ultrasound to set our minds at ease. The ultrasound confirmed our worst fear: no heartbeat. My wife had a D&C hours later. We are devastated.
When everything else failed, we turned to IVF in the hopes of gettng pregnant. Finally, on the second try, we thought we were at long last like everyone else: a normal couple, pregnant, happy and in the care of our regular OB/GYN. But this pregnancy came with many surprises. My wife had spotting and then heavy bleeding around week 4. Thanks to all on this site for their posts. It helped calm our fears and decide what to do next when the spotting began. Many here who reported spotting mentioned that if it was brown in color and light in volume, all was likely ok. Our doctor said the same thing. He ordered and HCg test which confirmed levels were still rising as they should.
When the spotting turned bright red and became heavy bleeding, we were worried again. Again, many on this site offered valuable advice. While bleeding and spotting can be common during pregnancy and often have no impact on a having a healthy baby, when the color is bright red and the volume is heavy my advice would be to get to the ER for a scan ASAP. Thankfully, there wasn't any cramping. (A key sign you might be having a miscarriage). Our scan in the ER revealed a strong heartbeat. The source of the bleeding was an area near where the embryo had attached. Doctors told us this happens and that it either heals or gets worse and there is nothing they can do to encourage the healing or prevent further bleeding which could ultimately cause a miscarriage.
The bleeding stopped and 2 weeks later we had another scan. All was well. Baby was the right size and heartbeat was where it should be. We had no ther signs of trouble. Our 9 week appointment went well. At this point, having seen the growth and having heard a heartbeat twice, the chances of miscarriage drop to around 5%. Incredibly, we found ourselves in this 5%. We went from happy, pregnant, and seemingly out of the woods to emotionally devastated and incolsolable in a matter of minutes.
Many say not to give up hope and that we should just try again. If we were doing this all on our own it would seem easier. But IVF makes things complicated. IVF is expensive, time consuming and emotionally draining. To add to our frustration, there is no "smoking gun" which explains why we are having trouble starting a family. We were heartbroken when IVF didn't work the first time; two months down the drain. We were on top of the world when it worked the second time. How quickly things can change.
Unsure of what we'll do next. Just grieving the loss of all the things we thought were finally just around the corner.
Thanks for all the posts on this site and the support.