Feb 14, 2011
When I discovered that I tested positive for herpes, I was indeed surprised. I was in a monogamous relationship but soon learned that my partner was not. I asked him to also be tested and found out that he had herpes and had been warned that he needed to use condoms, etc. with me but did not know how to tell me. I should have left but I loved him deeply and chose to stay (another bad choice and decision). I felt after discovering that I had herpes that my sex life would be over if I was not with him since he gave it to me and he had it, it was obvious that we could continue together but I did insist that he use condoms even though I hate condoms and prefer not to have to use them. From what I remember, I would have a burning reaction to them or after using them. I stayed with him rather than be without sex hoping he'd change. Another wrong choice. But I was uninformed and really had hopes for our relationship to last. After over 10 yrs. of having herpes and being together almost 15, he took his own life in 2009 (due to problems with alcoholism). Devastated and in shock, I thought, while grieving the loss of him, that I also had to grieve the loss of sex and love life until I die too!
It was such good news after a year and 1 month to locate this FORUM and MEDHELP to find out that there is life after finding out you've been affected and infected with HSV-2. And that I could continue with a sexual relationship. I had figured that if I love someone and wanted to make love that I'd have to be very honest upfront so no one would waste their time, invest our feelings and put them at risk of having a STD with no cure. I really did not want to do that to anyone. I guess I really felt robbed when this happened because I use to love all aspects of lovemaking. I'm a bit more reluctant now but moving ahead with wisdom and caution from great advice and information I've received here and in the handbook. I'm very thankful for the people that volunteer and share their wealth of information and respond to us.