"Hmmmm"

Hmmmm... I have been experiencing so much pain and so many symptoms was told I was a hypochondriac and there is no way I can possibly be in pain everyday and then a diagnosis...I have had so much blood drawn and ct scans and ekgs and still no clue.  Finally and MRI to check for MS and we find Arnold Chiari.  This journey has been a long one and continues to be, I have 3 kids and I am not certain of the outcome of surgery.  I know I need it because my symptoms are getting progressively worse, yesterday I was unable to walk or get off the couch.. Some time before that I was unable to open my eyelids on my own, such weakness and pain is unreal, yet I try to be strong and be normal for my kids and family...On the inside I am quivering and feeling like no one understands so I grin and bear it...My twin brother has been wonderful even though he is a bit bossy he listens to me and supports me and doesn't just say everything will be okay because even if I will it to be okay it doesn't mean it will be.  Just so confused and having an out of body experience and wanting to cry...there is also a positive lupus test I have to deal with my plate runneth over and I am trying my best but not sure of my success...