Ou vais je...

Ou vais je?
Que fais je?
Dans quel etat j'ere?
Dans quel etagere?

Where am i going?
What am i doing?
in which sphere am i floating?
in which drawer? ahahaha

it is a little french funny poem that rhymes and i put the english translation... which looses its comic aspect i know. i also know that we the french, have a weird sense of humor... :)

anyway, i thought this was a great way to start this entry. because, that is exactly how i feel right now. in just a few months, i have been hit by bombs or at least they felt like such, as my learning about hep c and what it really does, and what i could be diagnosed with and eccetera eccetera.... I feel like i am floating... not a good floating though... a bit nauseous at times. as anyone but since it is my entry might as well say it, i wasn't planning to be sick. i had my first blood test because i had decided to try to have a baby before too late. i have no partner but now that the possibility of having a child is getting smaller and smaller (i am getting old just like the rest of us), i had decided to do my most to get pregnant. even considered to go to a bank, imagine that... people do change. anyway, when the tests came back and my doctor called my office, I was far from imagining what i was getting into. baby on hold of course. so the idea that not only i may never have a child (unless i adopt of course) but i also might be getting into the world of interferon (if nothing else) and if my doctors feel that there is no time to wait...
i know i should wait for thursday when i will hear the results of my biopsy. but i also want to prepare myself for the worst (i am not being negative) but i don't want to on top of the new bomb i receive, i have the weight of disappointment to carry out of his office... Where am i going... What am i doing... are exactly how i could describe myself these days....