Mar 20, 2011
I thought these were really funny, and might help brighten your day. Enjoy and God Bless you all.
While I sat in the reception area
Of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man
In a wheelchair into the room. As she went
To the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone
And silent. Just as I was thinking I should make
Small talk with him, a little boy slipped off
His mother's lap and walked over to
The wheelchair. Placing his hand on the
man's, he said, I know how you feel. My
Mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'
As I was nursing
My baby, my cousin's six-year-old
Daughter, Krissy, came into the room.
Never having seen anyone breast feed
Before, she was intrigued and full of all
Kinds of questions about what I was doing.
After mulling over my answers, she remarked,
'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows
How to use them..'
One day with my eight-year-old
Granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little
Wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want
To be with your friends and you won't go
Walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do
Now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be
Too old to do all those thing anyway.'
Working as a pediatric
Nurse, I had the difficult assignment
Of giving immunization shots to children..
One day, I entered the examining room to give
Four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she
Screamed. 'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's
Not polite behavior.' With that, the girl
Yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank
On the way back from a Cub
Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son,
'Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but
How do they get there in the first place?' After my
Son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally
Spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to make
Up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't
Know the answer.'
Just before I
Was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old
Son down and broke the news to him. 'I'm
Going to be away for a long time,' I told
Him. 'I'm going to Iraq.' 'Why?' he
Asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going
On over there?'
Founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for
Children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood
Diseases. One afternoon, he and is wife,
Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with
The kids. A counselor at a nearby
Table, suspecting the young patients
Wouldn't know Newman was a famous movie star,
Explained, That's the man who made this camp
Possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on
His salad dressing bottle?' Blank
Stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on
His lemonade carton.' An eight-year-old girl
Perked up. 'How long was he missing?'
KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys.'
One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.'
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied..
The boy thought a moment and then said,
'Did God throw him back down?'
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
And my personal favorite is...........God's Problem Now:
His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."