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Kid's in Church Etc.

Mar 20, 2011 - 9 comments
Tags:

Kids

,

children

,

elderly

,

church

,

God

,

fun

,

laugh

,

jokes



I thought these were really funny, and might help brighten your day.  Enjoy and God Bless you all.

While I sat in the reception area
                    Of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man
                    In a wheelchair into the room.  As she went  
                    To the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone
                    And silent. Just as I was thinking I should make
                    Small talk with him, a little boy slipped off
                    His mother's lap and walked over to
                    The wheelchair.  Placing his hand on the  
                    man's, he said, I know how you feel.  My
                    Mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'

        *****

        As I was nursing
                    My baby, my cousin's six-year-old
                    Daughter, Krissy, came into the room.  
                    Never having seen anyone breast feed
                    Before, she was intrigued and full of all
                    Kinds of questions about what I was doing.
                     After mulling over my answers, she remarked,
                    'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows
                    How to use them..'  

        *****

        Out bicycling
                    One day with my eight-year-old
                    Granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little
                    Wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want
                    To  be with your friends and you won't go
                    Walking, biking, and  swimming with me like you do
                    Now. Carolyn shrugged.  'In ten years you'll be
                    Too old to do all those thing  anyway.'

        ******

        Working as a pediatric
                    Nurse, I had the difficult assignment
                    Of giving immunization shots to children..  
                    One day, I entered the examining room to give
                    Four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she  
                    Screamed.  'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's
                    Not polite behavior.'  With that, the girl
                    Yelled even louder, 'No, thank you!  No, thank  
                    You!

        ******

        On the way back from a Cub
                    Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son,
                    'Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but
                    How do they get there in the first place?'  After my
                    Son hemmed and hawed awhile,  my grandson finally
                    Spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to make
                    Up something, Dad.  It's okay if you don't
                    Know the answer.'

        *****

        Just before I
                    Was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old
                    Son down and broke the news to him.  'I'm
                    Going to be away for a long time,' I told  
                    Him.  'I'm going to Iraq.'   'Why?' he
                    Asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going
                    On over there?'

        *****

        Paul Newman
                    Founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for  
                    Children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood
                    Diseases. One afternoon, he and is wife,
                    Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with
                    The kids.  A counselor at a nearby
                    Table, suspecting the young patients
                    Wouldn't know Newman was a famous movie star,
                    Explained, That's the man who made this camp
                    Possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on
                    His salad dressing bottle?'  Blank
                    Stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on
                    His lemonade carton.'  An eight-year-old girl
                    Perked up.  'How long was he missing?'

KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied..
The boy thought a moment and then said,
'Did God throw him back down?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'

And my personal favorite is...........God's  Problem Now:

        His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when  there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous  bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.  The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."


Comments
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by hopeitworks, Mar 20, 2011
HAHAHAHAHA Thank you Brenda!!!! These are priceless!! I love Kevin and Ryan lol :)

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by margypops, Mar 20, 2011
hahahahah absolutely wonderful loved every one of them ......thank you so much ..I needed that my dh has had the news on all day .watching Libya ..it was a good laugh.

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by margypops, Mar 20, 2011
LOL not libya was a good laugh your journal LOL

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by crackerjack4u2, Mar 20, 2011
Hello Ladies, I'm glad you both liked them.  Hugs and God Bless Brenda

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by April2, Mar 20, 2011
Very cute and funny. :) Gotta love kids, they really tell it like it is!

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by crackerjack4u2, Mar 20, 2011
LOL Yes they do April, yes they do.  I'm glad you liked it hun.  Hugs and God Bless Brenda

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by Angxo, Jun 24, 2011
I LOVE these! Thank you for posting. Definitely brightened my day :)

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by Womanontop, Jun 24, 2011
Thank you for making my day better. This cheered me up so much you will never know!

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by margypops, Jun 24, 2011
hahahah these making the run again ..they are great arent they ...

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