Apr 02, 2011
This was my first pregnancy and we were overjoyed to have found out the news on February 10, 2011. It was the most amazing news I have ever received and from the very first day I found out, I called the baby, "my miracle baby". We've been trying to conceive for 3 years and with some breaks in between. Everything tested out normal so my PCP (primary care physician) advised me last summer to lose weight and add exercise in the routine because I did gain a lot of weight over the course of 4 years (40 pounds overweight). After losing 25 pounds, my menstrual cycle became regular naturally and we made a decision to go see a fertility doctor if I didn't get pregnant within a year (by August 2011).
Finding out that we were going to have a baby was such a euphoric experience for me. I felt all sorts of emotions at the same time, I was amazed, nervous, scared, but most of all excited for the good news and my dreams of starting a family was going to be real. I was almost scared to share the good news and wanted to keep it my secret in the event that it will change my good luck. But my husband was so excited and wanted to share with friends and family. My OB visits were frequent and carefully monitored because we've been trying to conceive for 3 years and I wanted to follow every little instruction exactly. I had 3 ultrasounds by week 7. Week 7 was the most magical because I saw the baby's heartbeat for the first time. That was when I felt safe to be happy and tell everyone about my little miracle growing inside of me. I really didn't expect anything to go wrong.
Then week 9 came due for another ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. The OB explained to me that I was having a miscarriage but I didn't believe it. My body felt "pregnant" still, no cramping, no pain, or bleeding. I was an emotional wreck. I could not stop crying. Labs were done and I had a cervical exam. The cervix was closed so I asked to wait another week to have another ultrasound. Week 10 confirmed that the baby did not grow any and there was no heartbeat still. However, my body has not passed any tissue and other than the lack of heartbeat, I am not showing any other signs of a miscarriage. I have 2 options: 1) to wait it out and let my body have a natural miscarriage or 2) schedule a D and C to remove the tissues during surgery. I tried waiting it out for over 2 weeks but still no bleeding or cramping. The OB said if I wait any longer, I could have an infection in my uterus and it might prevent me from becoming pregnant again. So I scheduled for a D and C later this week.
I am just so saddened by this whole ordeal and am devastated by how quickly happiness can be lost. The OB said the bright side of this is that I was able to conceive but that doesn't lessen the pain any. I am so devastated.